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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

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Written In The Stars CXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I’m scared to see how you guys will react to this one, hope you at least find it enjoyable despite my very self-indulgent plots -Danny

P.S. Huge s/o to @bwbatta bc I decided to update my fic and now I have pretty dividers in all my books! Most of the ones I ended up using are her work so go check it out :)

Words: 4,641

Series’ Masterlist

Book V // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Need Your Love’ -by Joshua Wicker

Chapter One: Dumbledore's Mission.

"A galleon says Erick will crash the car —"

"Shut up!"

"Don't make him nervous," Emily scolded Harry. "If you continue this I won't teach you how to drive!"

"We don't need to learn," Mel snorted. "We'll apparate everywhere..."

"I thought you hated it," Her mother raised a brow.

"Yeah, but she's lazy," Harry smirked.

"Why is Harry here? He's not allowed to leave the house, is he?" Mel frowned.

"He's not allowed to be alone outside, there's a difference. We're babysitting two infants, unfortunately..." Erick taunted.

"What's the matter, Flint? You have stage-fright?" Harry replied.

"Oh please, he feeds on attention! Like a dementor but in a more annoying way..."

"Enough!" Emily looked over her seat. "Is that the kind of things you want to teach your brother?"

"I doubt he'll remember any of this!"

"We know he can do it, Em, we're just teasing," Harry said blithely.

"Yeah, he's the only adult here apart from you, mum. It's kind of his obligation to be good at driving."

The baby let out a squeal of agreement, he was three weeks old but had a good set of lungs that he was happy to use at any given time, especially while everyone was sleeping.

Harry leaned and checked that the baby's blankets. Mel beamed at the sight, the boy had pretty much adopted the boy as his own brother, which she thought made a lot of sense, not only because it was Sirius' son, but because he'd been part of her family for so long that anything else would've been silly.

They were well aware that bringing little Regulus to their driving lessons was a bit risky, but Emily wasn't as keen to leave Mel and Harry alone in the house as she used to, so she put a few safety spells on the chair once the baby was seated while Harry and Mel sat on both sides of it.

Erick turned out to be a good driver, but he still had a bit of trouble understanding how cars worked.

"I have to be pulling and pushing stuff all the time!" He complained as he activated the windshield on accident for the third time. "Why can't I just turn the key and press the pedal?"

"Cars don't work like that," Emily said patiently. "It's complicated, but you're good!"

"He's only gone up and down the street for half an hour, Leggie fell asleep already," The girl huffed.

Emily looked over the seat once again, she was frowning. "Erick, switch seats with Mel."

"You're joking... right?"

"Erick," The woman repeated.

"On it," He said happily. "C'mon Mel, are you scared?"

Ten minutes later, Erick was in the backseat and she was tightly holding onto the wheel.

"I'm doing it!" She said. "Is not that hard, is it?"

"A slug could move faster," Harry was looking at the roof of the car and dying of heat. "I thought you were going to be more... the reckless type of driver."

"Me too..." Erick agreed lazily, he was playing with one of Reggie's feet.

"I'm not going faster, my brother's in the car!" Mel scoffed.

"We're not asking you to! Just enough so we can feel like we're actually moving!"

"Bringing you three was a bad idea," Emily said over the boys' laughter.

"Fine!" Mel pressed down the pedal, the car immediately gaining speed. "I'm was just being careful!"

"Which makes me proud," Emily softly patted her shoulder. "It feels like it was yesterday when you were running around Remus' house in nothing but a diaper and now you're driving!"

"The other night I ran into her wearing no pants, so she's hasn't changed really," Erick murmured nonchalantly. "I stepped on Grey's tail thanks to that... maybe that's why he hates me so much."

"What?" Harry's head snapped to the side so fast he hurt himself.

"I forgot you live here now! Sometimes I sleep like that, s'not a crime!" She looked at Harry through the rearview mirror. "I've been an only child for sixteen years, sometimes I forget there are more than two people in my house..."

"I'm surprised her scream didn't wake up Leon," Erick sniggered.

"He's a heavy sleeper like his dad," Emily responded distractedly.

The conversation died instantly. It wasn't the woman's intention, of course, but it'd been only a few weeks since Sirius' passing, sometimes they would forget for a moment, just a brief second, then one of them would talk about Sirius and everything would start again...

It was painful, and it was weird. Mel had never endured something like this with anyone except Harry. Having a larger group of people sharing the same pain was strangely comforting.

Mel cleared her throat. "It's Harry's turn..."

"I'm okay," He said quickly. "I can learn another day..."

"Glasses, you and I have a tradition of experiencing things at the same time," The girl stopped the car and turned to look at him. "You're not going to ruin our streak. Besides, I need to know if I'm better than you."

Harry stared at her in amusement, then he looked at Erick.

"Is it fun, having her bossing you around all day?"

"I boss her around too," Erick smirked.

"They take turns," Her mother sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Harry gave the woman a look of sympathy as he stepped out of the car.

"There are worse things than being stuck with two pushy teenagers..."

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Emily smirked. "A pushy teenager and a pushy adult."

"If it annoys you that much I'll move out," Mel offered humorously. "What d'you say, Prince? Should we try our luck outside our comfort zone?"

"You wouldn't last a day," Erick taunted.

"Fiddlesticks," Mel muttered, to which Harry laughed.

It was around three in the morning when someone knocked on her door. She'd been awake for a while now, so she stood up and opened it.

"Hi," She rubbed her eyes. "What's up?"

"Can't sleep," Erick mumbled. "Care if I stay a moment?"

"Go ahead..."

She went back to bed, Erick sat at the edge and stared at her for a moment. Grey let out a sleepy growl, curling further away from his reach. Erick pulled out his pocket watch, now hanging from a chain he'd found in Regulus Black's room back in Grimmauld Place. The reason why he'd taken it was unknown to Mel.

"What's up?" She mumbled, suppressing a yawn.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"How lucky I am."

Mel let out a puff of air without replying. He would do this often, say he was lucky to be there, that she'd saved his life... She just wanted him to shut up.

"I really don't want to punch you, Prince, I'd ruin your pretty nose."

He smiled, unbothered.

"You know, a few years ago you would've been pleased to hear me say that, you ungrateful git."

"Yeah well, a few years ago my biggest dream was to become a princess," She joked. "So you see my priorities were a bit messed up..."

"You'd make a cute princess."

"C'mon —"

"I mean it."

"Erick," Mel said in a tone of warning. "Stop."

He'd been acting like that for a whole week: flirting when no one was around, complimenting her... Mel had closed up so tightly around herself that she was barely capable of saying I love you to her mum. Erick had lived deprived of affection his whole life and was just getting out of that environment. At what point had she become the cold, distant one, and he the ray of sunshine?

She knew right away what he was trying to do, but she was so numb... Mel cared about him, but she was not there yet.

Erick leaned on the wall and tilted his head a bit so he could look at her.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" She replied. "It's not your fault... I just — I need time."

He nodded shortly.

"We can talk later?"

He was wonderful, but she was in the middle of all that was wrong in their world, right next to Harry and the lifeline that she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to keep or not.

"We should go to bed," She murmured, still unable to make any real decisions for herself.

"Yeah," He stood up, carefully putting the blankets back in place and dropping them all over Grey on purpose. He put the watch back in his pocket as well. "Sweet dreams, Mely."

The Ministry of Magic

PROTECTING YOUR HOME AND FAMILY AGAINST DARK FORCES

The Wizarding community is currently under threat from an organization calling itself the Death Eaters. Observing the following simple security guidelines will help protect you, your family, and your home from attack.

"I have a better way to protect our house," Erick groaned, he was gently rubbing his temples. "Let Leon cry the whole night and not even Voldemort will try to enter... I myself am starting to consider living on the street just to get away from the noise."

"S'not that bad," She answered, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away. "It's hard to get used to being a human, you know?"

"Look at this," Emily unfolded the newspaper. "'Scrimgeour succeeds Fudge' — Well, haven't met him yet but I hope he's got a bit of brain, Tonks told me a few months back that he's certainly a bit brisker..."

The doorbell rang and Mel left to open the door.

The routine at that point was established even if it had been only two weeks since their arrival; Erick got used to life at Privet Drive quite easily, he spent two whole days examining every corner of the kitchen, and when Mel showed him what a movie was, he wasted a whole day in the drawing-room watching the movie adaptations of the books she'd lent to him.

Harry would go daily to check on"Reg". Once he'd stayed the night but refused to sleep in Mel's room, not that she'd tried to convince him otherwise.

"Goodmorning," She opened the door without paying attention, "you're a bit late for breakfast but I'll let it pass as soon as you —"

She stopped talking at the sight of her great-uncle, Dumbledore smiled at her and walked in.

"I can't stay for breakfast, but I dare say I regret it deeply."

"Professor... I — Is everything okay?"

"Certainly."

"To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Mel turned to see her mother standing near the stairs, gazing at Dumbledore coldly.

"Emily," Dumbledore said. "Good morning... I'm here to speak with Mr Flint."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Quite the contrary, I believe he's never been better."

"Professor," Erick's posture changed when he walked into the room, suddenly he looked more like a young man and less like a boy. "What can I do for you?"

"I have a mission for you... Mel as well, but only if she wishes to go."

"She's not of age," The woman replied quickly.

Mel was ready to accept whatever it was he wanted her to do, she needed to feel like she was doing something. Although she wasn't exactly happy to see him so soon after the end of their last term.

"As I said, only if she wishes to come. I assure you she'd be safe."

The girl looked at her mother and then at the men standing in front of her.

"Can I hear what this is about first?"

Emily crossed her arms without uttering a word, her uncle signalled towards the couch.

"A word, then?"

Erick nodded, making a beeline to the closest armchair. Emily turned to leave, but Dumbledore spoke again.

"You can stay."

The woman shared a look with her daughter, Mel couldn't hide her eagerness to hear what the old man had to say.

"I won't sit there and watch history repeat itself," Emily sighed.

The woman left before Mel could say anything. She would talk to her later, but first, she needed to talk to Dumbledore.

"I beg you not to interrupt me while I speak."

Both pupils silently agreed to his petition.

"Now, I find myself in need of a new Professor, but the man I'd been contemplating for the job has been on the run for almost a year — He's not guilty of any crimes," He added, noticing the way their faces grew worried. "He's just afraid like everyone else... I need you to track him down and point me to where he is so I can have a word with him."

"I'll do it," Erick responded instantly.

"Alone?" Mel frowned.

Dumbledore stared at her for a second too long.

"If I remember correctly today is your sixteenth birthday, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Mr Flint turned seventeen in January — You may know that's considered to be the start of our adulthood."

"Yes."

"Erick is allowed to do magic outside school... But you still have a year left."

"I don't see —"

"You have Matthew's spirit when it comes to saving a friend, Mel. When you were eleven you left this house with Hagrid so you could look for Harry yourself... The time has come for me to finally be honest with you."

"What do you mean 'finally'?" The words were burning a hole in her brain. "You mean all the things you told me when I was in your office last month... that wasn't it?"

Erick stared at them with polite interest, even though she knew he was dying to ask. Mel hadn't told him a thing about that night out of respect for Harry's privacy.

"That was all I had to tell you regarding the Harry," Dumbledore replied. "There are plenty of things I haven't said, and I wish to talk about them with you."

"And if I agree to go with Erick on this mission... you'll tell me?" Mel raised a brow.

"I'll tell you whether you help me with this or not, but I believe there's nothing else I can teach you, Mel. All that's left for you is to start putting your knowledge to use; I recommend you to go on this mission."

"What about my animagus lessons?"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore smiled. "I'll help you with that, but that'll be it. You've concluded your lessons with the highest marks, dear girl."

She would've been elated hadn't been because of the strange way her uncle was acting.

"Aren't you happy?" Erick nudged her arm gently. "You've worked hard for years, you should be proud!"

"I am proud," Mel replied shortly. "And I'd love to help, but I can't leave my family, it's not safe."

"They'd go to the burrow if you leave."

"What about Harry?"

"He'll go to the burrow too, but I have a few matters to attend with his family first."

"If Mel wants to stay that's alright, I can go on my own —"

"You can't."

Erick looked at her irritated.

"It's not like you can do magic outside school."

"It takes more than magic to survive out there — You don't know how to blend in with the muggles, do you?"

"You can discuss this throughout the day," Dumbledore grabbed a letter from his pocket. "In this, you'll find all about Horace Slughorn's last known whereabouts and a picture so you can identify him. If you do, don't approach, he'll know you're following him. As soon as you find him come back to Privet Drive and write to me."

"This is all just in case we decide to go, right?"

"I'm going," Erick scowled at her.

"We'll talk about this after dinner," She glared back.

Dumbledore stood up and they followed, Emily was at the entrance ready to let him out.

"I'll wait for your response, then," Her uncle stared at her for a moment. "You and Harry..."

"We haven't decided," She was quick to reply. "We need time."

"Very well."

"You're quiet."

"I have a lot to think about."

Her day had been slightly ruined by her great-uncle's visit. Although Lupin had been there for a couple of hours and stayed for dinner. Mel and Erick talked about the mission and she'd promised to tell Harry after the party was over, which was now.

The Slytherin was upstairs taking a shower and Emily was putting Reggie to bed. Mel and Harry were sitting on the grass, watching the stars above them. She'd fallen into contemplative silence, pondering what to do. She could go chase some stranger for Dumbledore's benefit, or she could stay and look after her family.

"This would be much easier if my mum had asked me to stay!" She pouted.

"I reckon she knows that," Harry responded, throwing small rocks over the fence.

"Won't you?"

"Hmm?"

"You won't ask me to stay?"

Harry stared at her.

"No."

He didn't explain his reasons, but he didn't need to. Mel had made up her mind even if she didn't want to admit it. That was exactly why she was so upset, she wanted to look after her family, but her responsibilities were keeping her apart. Three years of hard work had led to this, and although Mel was a big sister now, winning the war was more important than changing diapers.

Her mother was a whole different problem too. Around them she was always cheery, but Mel was sure she'd heard her cry when none of the boys was around to hear.

She believed it was about Sirius, but it could also be about her and Harry, that she was scared for them. Mel didn't have the heart to lie if her mother were to ask about the prophecy. It was, as they had agreed without even having to speak about it, too much weight to put on their loved one's shoulders. The idea of Emily, the closest thing to a mother Harry ever had, finding out there was a big chance one of them would die after having lost Sirius in such a brutal way...

"I don't think I'll be able to look at Dumbledore in the eye if I come back empty-handed..."

"You're one of the best witches I know," Harry shrugged. "You'll be fine, just try not to murder Flint while you're away."

"He's less annoying now," She grinned. "Ever since he left his parents' house, dunno, he's improved. Although I might murder him if he doesn't stop —"

She was going to say 'flirting', but for some reason, she didn't feel ready to talk about that with Harry. She wasn't ready for anything and yet the world was forcing her to keep moving, it was exhausting.

Mel got up and offered her hand to her friend.

"Do you remember when you were just Harry and I was just Mel, and we were the odd kids at school?" She fixed her gaze on her bedroom window. "Wish we could go back to that."

"When I didn't know I was a wizard?"

"Things were easier back then, don't you think?"

"Maybe," He retorted. "But they were never entirely good."

In Harry, Mel found another reason to stay.

They could have the summer to talk about the things they needed to. She would stare at his aged features and compare them to the ones of that young boy she used to call her best friend...

Their bond still had thousands of cracks that had to be fixed, Mel was having a hard time letting him in again and they needed to be okay in order to know if they wanted to keep the lifeline or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to like him, she wanted the comfort he used to provide, the warmth and security of having someone who understood.

He knew it, and he was trying his best to not mess it up, but Mel didn't want to love him again, cutting the lifeline was the best way to assure that... It was easier said than done, though.

Harry was confused. Sometimes it felt like nothing would ever happen, then an overwhelming affection would crush his chest whenever Mel laughed or touched him. He didn't want to put a name to it, he was terrified of saying it, even to himself. All he knew was that the connection was a way to make sure Mel would be safe, and he didn't want to give that up.

"I should go."

"Yeah..."

"Happy birthday," He said. "I have to be honest and tell you that your present was meant to be sent last Christmas, but..."

"I didn't give you a present either, it's okay... I'm a bit angry though, that was a missed opportunity, I could've won."

Harry laughed.

"You'll have a new chance this year, but I doubt you'll be able to beat me — I've already gotten yours..."

"It's July!"

"I know," His smile vanished suddenly, then he added. "Be careful out there, please."

"Erick'll make sure I don't do anything stupid," Mel smiled. "He's so obsessed with protecting me — as if he didn't know I can do it alone just fine!"

"Yeah, but now's different."

"Different how?"

"We need you alive," He told her. "You want to live long enough to become Headmistress, right?"

Mel froze, not knowing what to answer.

"What?" Harry tilted his head.

"I lied," She blurted out. "I never wanted to be Headmistress — I saw you that night, in the mirror... I saw..."

"What?" He asked again, this time softer.

"You kissed me. A real kiss... like the type we used to gawk at as children."

Harry cleared his throat. "Oh."

A tense silence surrounded them. The variations of colour in his eyes were remarkably easy to notice from where she was standing. She was tilting her head up now, perhaps they were too close.

"Be careful."

"You told me that already," Mel whispered, unable to look away. "Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Yes," He paused, his eyes took a quick glance to her lips. "But if I say it you'll get mad."

Harry kissed her, Mel responded by pulling him down.

It was hard to tell whether she was euphoric or scared, perhaps both, or perhaps neither. As soon as it happened Harry jumped away, and she was dropped back into reality.

"I can't do it — We haven't talked about the lifeline — We won't make the right choice if we let our feelings —"

"You're right! Yes!" Mel said, acting just as agitated. "It's a terrible idea — I like you, but—"

"—it's confusing," He said anxiously. "Do you have feelings for me?"

"Do you have feelings for me?" Mel asked in a high-pitched voice.

"No!" He responded, but his voice trembled with a lack of confidence. "I care about you a lot —"

"— I care for you too —"

"— But just —"

"— as friends!"

They stared at each other with the same frightened expression.

"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable," He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I... I don't want to lose you."

"We need to spend some time apart," She nodded, avoiding his eyes. "We can ignore this happened, right?"

"Absolutely," He agreed. "You're spending the summer at the burrow?"

"My mum and my brother will be there, so I kind of have to... is that okay?"

"It's okay," Harry looked around. "We... we should go."

"Did you ever regret falling for my dad?" Mel asked randomly. "I mean, you ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd stayed as friends?"

Emily stopped folding her clothes.

"Something nagging that head of yours?"

"I think relationships are a waste of time. They all break and you always end up hurting..."

"What makes you think such nonsense?" Emily raised a brow, leaning back on the couch. "Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?"

"You don't think that way?" She asked doubtfully.

"Because I lost my partners that means I have to be bitter?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Mel replied quickly. "But... yeah."

Emily remained silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"Solitude can do weird things to your heart, love. It can pull you towards bad or good places... People that make you feel a little less lonesome, someone who understands you. You should hold onto that for as long as you can, no matter how scary it is. You never know what wonderful things may bring you..."

"Sirius said something similar a year ago," Mel said quietly. "Something about finding my equal, that the earth's full of options and stuff..."

"I won't force you to find a partner if that's not what you want, but you're young and the world is big, you can't turn your back on every opportunity."

"It's not like I have lots of prospects right now..." She huffed.

"You don't need lots, just the right one."

Mel hesitated for a moment, then added:

"I know you used to have a crush on James Potter."

Emily looked up from the laundry again, she raised a brow. "Oh?"

"I know it was a long time ago," She shifted in her place awkwardly. "But do you ever wonder what would've happened if you two..?"

The woman sighed.

"Only once."

"When?"

"When I found out Voldemort was after his son," She folded the last shirt and handed it to Mel. "I asked myself if I had made the right choice by giving him up... When I look at you I know it was the right thing to do. What happened to James and Lily... it was horrible, but it wasn't my fault. I was happy with your father; maybe Matthew wasn't my first love, but when it comes to this, your first love rarely is the one that lasts."

"Mel?" Erick walked into the room. "If we're planning to drive around all day tomorrow, you should sleep," He nodded shortly at both of them and left the room, her mother chuckled.

"You know, Erick reminds me of your father... I know Sirius said he was like his brother, but Regulus made all the wrong choices... Erick's done all this for himself, to be better. Just like Matty."

Mel's gaze lingered on the doorway long after Erick had left.

"Thank you, for letting me go," She sighed, looking back at the woman. "I don't love following Dumbledore's orders but I... I want to make this world a better place."

"Love," Emily cupped her face adoringly. "I know why you're doing this. Just how I knew why you flew that car to save Harry, and why you went to the Ministry... but you're my daughter, and it's my job to worry about you anyway."

Erick and Mel took three changes of clothing and put them in the trunk, Emily gave them muggle money. Mel had a fake driver's license as well as Erick, and they would take turns driving. Harry was nowhere to be seen, but it was expected since it was five in the morning. She hadn't mentioned the kiss to either her mother or Erick, she was determined to keep it that way, much like the whole lifeline stuff and the prophecy.

'Just pile more secrets on top, why don't you,' She thought bitterly as she walked out of the house.

Emily hugged both and let them kiss Reggie goodbye, Mel promised they would see each other soon, and Erick vowed he'd make sure Mel would be safe (she snorted loudly at this). Once inside the car, her friend took a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"This isn't our first adventure, Prince."

"This one's the first we do with permission."

"You're an adult, you don't need anyone's approval."

"You know what I mean," He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. I get defensive when I'm —"

"I know," He sighed. "I talk too much when I'm worried."

"I know," She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm ready... We'll be okay."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @wlwmaximoff @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter xoc #harry potter fanfiction #WITT fic

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momentofmemory · 5 years

Text

fictober - day five

Prompt #5: “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe (All Media Types/Iron Man Films)

Warnings: Canonical Major Character Death (referenced)

Rating: G

Characters: Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Howard Stark (mentioned), Peter Parker (mentioned), Steve Rogers (mentioned)

Words: 2397

Author’s Note: taking a short break from the may & peter series bc the prompt didn’t fit, so instead we have a tony-centric character study. cap is referenced but the primary relationship is between tony and howard. i have mixed feelings about this one, honestly, but it’s done before midnight at least, so, ~le shrug~

>>Sins of the Father

Tony had never understood his father’s obsession with Captain America.

If he was being perfectly honest (which he wasn’t), part of that was because he’d never really tried—had actively avoided trying, actually, because Howard had never bothered trying to understand him. It seemed fitting to return the favour. So, when Steven Perfect-Posture Grant Rogers popped out of the ice, God, did it feel like a punch in the teeth.

(Teeth that weren’t as perfect as Captain America’s.)

There’d been one night three weeks before Tony was supposed to move out for college when Howard had announced he’d be going on a month-long expedition to try to find the almighty Captain America, yet again. Tony didn’t remember much after that except a lot of yelling and a lot of hurt, because how dare his father leave them to search for someone whose body had probably decomposed five times over by now.

(Steve popping up thirty years later, obnoxiously alive and younger than he was, would prove this argument to be factually wrong, but Tony still stood by his conclusion.)

He’d wanted nothing to do with Steve at first, furious at his father for being right about the man surviving more than anything. But fate and Nick Fury refused to let him have his peace, and he found that getting to know Steve—and maybe not hating him—had been an even stranger thing than discovering he was alive.

Then Sokovia and the Winter Soldier and Siberia and a grainy video tape from 1991 happened, and all he wanted was to hate Steve. And he did, because god if he doesn’t know how to hold a grudge—Howard taught him a lot about never letting go when it comes to Captain America. But he also didn’t, because he wasn’t Howard, and Steve… Steve wasn’t just Captain America.

Tony spent the next two years doing everything in his power to forget Steve ever existed, which included ignoring calls from Ross about the man’s whereabouts. After one such call that ended spectacularly badly after Ross hinted he wanted information on Spider-Man, Tony found himself sitting in his father’s office, staring at the mockup of the city. It seemed his life had boiled down to the same thing as his father’s: a consultant on the neverending search for Captain America.

Tony flicked up the schematics for a new iteration of Peter’s suit—the upgrades he’d made to his own nanotech needed to be incorporated, just in case Peter ever changed his mind about it. He tapped his fingers on the armrest and stared at the shield hanging on the wall.

He didn’t understand Ross’s obsession, just like he didn’t understand his father’s. He still didn’t care to try.

One man isn’t important enough to waste all of that time on finding.

Tony maintained this perspective until one moment Peter was standing in front of him, whole and alive and so, so young, and then the next he found himself falling through dust and air because Peter was gone.

He stared at the ash clotting the blood on his hands, and all he could think was, Oh.

This was how one life could be important enough.

An alien flew him across the galaxy and then another one carried him home, and when he saw Steve had survived he couldn’t help the bitter thought that at least his father’s life work wasn’t lost again.

Just his.

After Dr. Cho allowed him out of the infirmary, Tony hid in the penthouse with Pepper and filled every waking moment reading up on the latest time travel theories. The EPR Paradox in particular kept him up for three days straight, until he rejected it on the basis that quantum travel was too theoretical—not to mention risky, even for him.

Then Pepper told him she was pregnant, and Tony's heart lurched out of his chest because he was going to be a father, and seeing Morgan for the first time seven months later awakened something that felt like hope inside of him.

Three months into the kind of sleep deprivation only a newborn baby can provide, Tony snuck down to the lab he’d installed in the garage for the first time since Thanos.

_________________________

The hologram’s failure message projected blood-red light over his hands.

God damn it.

Tony dropped onto the bench and ran his hands through his hair, trying to get rid of the feel of dust and ash. He didn’t know why it wouldn’t work.

“Tony?”

He jerked his head out of his hands and saw Pepper, whose lips pulled thin as she took in the sight of Friday’s projection. “What is this?”

Shame curled in his stomach.

“Just, you know,” Tony slid to his feet and hid his pen behind his back. “Stuff.”

Pepper pulled up the list of iterations Tony had run through the simulation, and Tony winced at the sheer number of decimal places in Friday’s report.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time down here lately,” Pepper said, too casually for it to actually be.

“Gotta keep the old mind busy,” Tony said, closing the charts before Pepper could comment on the hours logged. “Wouldn’t want Morgan thinking her old man was slipping.”

Pepper looked at the physics papers on the desk. “And is he?”

“...Maybe. I just…” Tony paused, and then turned to gesture at the hologram. “What if there was a way to... fix all of this? I feel like I owe it to at least try.”

“I’m not going to stop you, Tony.”

Tony froze. He tore his eyes away from the hologram to look at Pepper, who stood with her arms crossed in front of her. “Hang on, sorry, I think I just had an auditory hallucination. Wanna repeat that?”

Pepper’s mouth twitched. “Tony,” she said, coming over to sit on the workbench. “If you really can do something about this, I can’t stand in the way of that.”

Tony stared at her, and then sat down as well, cautiously—unsure if it was a trap.

“But.”

There it was.

“I am going to request boundaries,” Pepper said. “One of which is that you can’t hole up in here for more than three hours at a time.”

“I feel like we could make allowances, maybe like an every other Tuesday thing, but continue.”

“And secondly, don’t beat yourself up over something you know won’t work.”

“…What?”

“I know you, Tony.” Pepper poked his chest. “You don’t like admitting when you can’t do something. So tell me: is this really possible?”

The Mobius strip rotated languidly behind him, the TEST FAILED alert blinking in rhythm with his heart.

“…No,” he admitted. “Or at least, not any more. The only thing that seems like it could work requires Pym particles, which we don’t have. Even with them, I can’t get the simulation to work.”

Pepper nodded, a mixture of relief and disappointment on her face. Tony wondered if this was how Howard felt: living in a world that couldn’t keep up with his ideas, knowing Cap was out there but not having the tools to do anything about it.

“Okay,” Pepper said. “Then three hours it is. And you have to read to Morgan every night before bed, when she’s old enough.”

“You strike a mean bargain.”

He looked at the simulation again. Pepper was right: there was nothing he could do. Howard had wasted years of his life chasing after Cap, and even though he’d been right about him being out there, that didn’t change the fact that there was nothing Howard could have done to save him, anyway.

“Okay, Pep.”

Tony stood and walked over to the projector, and turned it off. Pepper’s eyes softened.

“Don’t get too excited, I’m sure I’ll find something else to wreck the household with,” Tony said, shutting down the rest of the system. Pepper arched an eyebrow at him and he sighed. “Fine. You got me. I’m sorry I’ve been… Distracted.”

“Mm. That does seem like a problem,” Pepper said. She stood and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him to trace her fingers along his collarbone. “I can think of a few other ways to distract you, though.”

Tony spun in her grasp and wrapped his hand around her waist. “Oh really? You got something in mind?”

“As a matter of fact, I was thinking I might take you upstairs—”

The baby monitor’s light blinked on and Pepper’s thought was interrupted by the sound of Morgan’s cries echoing through the garage. The six-month-old had apparently woken up from her nap.

Pepper winced.

“…Or I might just kiss you and leave it at that.” She disentangled herself from Tony’s embrace, and Tony whined in displeasure.

Pepper tapped him on the nose with her finger, but kept her promise by following it up with a quick kiss to his cheek. “And you can meet me in Morgan’s room in five minutes with a glass of iced tea and that book on caring for llamas.”

“You are no fun,” Tony said.

Pepper laughed and kissed him again, this time on the lips, which Tony enthusiastically returned.

“I believe Morgan requires your assistance sooner rather than later, Mr. and Mrs. Potts,” Friday said, with a practiced air of professionalism that still managed to sound incredibly pointed.

“Yeah, got that, thanks Fri,” Pepper said, pulling away from Tony with a final squeeze on his shoulder. “Don’t be late.”

Tony watched Pepper go, tapping his pen against his fingers. He looked at the projection table, and thought about all the lonely nights he’d had as a child, and how he’d wished Howard would’ve stayed home just once.

He turned the lights out, and went to be with his daughter.

______________________

Ant-Man was back, and Ant-Man had steam-rolled through all the theories Tony’d studied on and off over the last five years out of sheer dumb luck. And he had Pym particles, enough for a pretty decent sized team.

Tony couldn’t do this.

He’d never fully given up on bringing everyone back, toying with ideas on and off, but had never been able to figure out a solution to the forward progression of time. The Pym particles solved the issues with the Planck Scale, but as far as the Deutsch Proposition went… It’d been five years and he still hadn’t solved it.

When Cap asked him if he could do it, what he thought was I tried, and what he said was “I can’t.”

Tony felt Howard’s disapproval at his back as he watched their car drove off.

And yet he’d said I can’t, but when he stood in the middle of the kitchen and saw Peter Parker in that stupid picture that’s always been his favourite, with their smiles and upside-down certificate, everything clicked.

He asked Friday to pull up the schematics right there on the living room table, but this time, inverted: or, upside-down.

Friday’s simulation worked, and Tony felt like he’d just found Captain America.

Then Morgan walked down the staircase, and Tony felt like he was six years old, watching his dad leave them again.

Tony coasted through the next half hour in a blur, getting juice pops for Morgan and tucking her in bed, and mostly thinking about how incredibly lucky he’s been. He went downstairs thinking only about three thousands, but the second he saw Pepper everything came tumbling out. She tilted her head and asked a question he didn’t see coming.

“But would you be able to rest?”

Tony looked away, placing the popsicle stick back in his mouth. He worried it between his teeth as he thought about how to put into words everything he’d been harboring over the past… forever, really.

“I’ve been thinking about my dad,” he said, finally. “Howard… never knew how to let go of his failures, and he hurt a lot of people because of it.”

Pepper pulled her knees up onto the couch and rested her chin on her hand. “Sounds like he might have had some problems with ego.”

Tony looked at her in surprise, and she sighed.

“Tony, your father’s obsession with finding Cap was a problem because it was never about Cap—it was about Howard. His own guilt at not being able to do something he felt like he could. That’s not what Peter is for you.”

Tony frowned. “I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength here.”

“You’re not trying to bring him—and everyone else—back because it’s something you need. You’re doing it because it’s something they need. If it was an obsession, you wouldn’t have been able to put it aside all those years ago when it wasn’t feasible.”

This was true—ever since his talk with Pepper, the urge to figure out time travel had become more of a hobby than anything, because it was, after all, strictly theoretical without the Pym Particles didn’t exist. As Morgan had gotten older, he’d learned how to appreciate what was in front of him instead of regretting what was behind.

That didn’t mean he didn’t still want to make it right.

“This isn’t obsession, Tony. This is a desire,” Pepper said, and then hesitated. “...And it’s not just yours.”

Tony saw Pepper’s own grief over what had been lost flicker over her face, and took the stick out of his mouth and flicked it into the fire. She was right.

“You know there’s a good chance we won’t all make it back.”

Pepper pursed her lips and looked away, but her voice didn’t waver. “I know. But I also know you’ll make it worth it.”

They spent the rest of the night in companionable silence, and the next morning, Tony drove to the Avengers compound.

Tony had forgotten how good the rest of his team was, and it didn’t take long before they had drummed up a pretty solid plan, a full team, and enough time particles to make it work.

He went into the past with Pepper’s words ringing in his ears.

Tony ran into his father and finally said a thank you that he meant, and it was worth it. Tony hugged Peter, alive and whole and so, so young, and it was worth it. Tony caught a glimpse of Morgan, laughing and powerful and thirty-six, and it was worth it.

Tony closed his eyes and let Pepper’s voice wash over him, and drifted off into the black.

And it was worth it.

#fictober19 #mcu fanfic #tony stark #fanfiction #memsfic

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