#but g.ladio?!?!?!????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enkidushield · 3 months

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[ P ] 𝚄𝙽𝚄𝚂𝚄𝙰𝙻 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚀𝚄𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 : what percentage does your muse start charging their phone at ? AND - if they had to have a side hustle, what would it be ? AND - how often do they wash their hair ? / from @insomniastar ♥

CHARGE : when one of the others ( *cough* p.romnoct ) hasn't stolen his goddamn charger, he generally tries to chuck it on about 40% unless they've had a super busy day where it'd get lower than that. his phone is always on him but it's not attached to his hand, but he was very diligent in making sure he was always REACHABLE AND AVAILABLE and the lesson stuck young to keep his phone charged. who knows when the princess might need him ( spoiler alert, it's all the time ). his phones always last him a long time and he's not worried about having the most up to date phone, but his battery lasts forever cause the only game he has is k.ing's knight.

SIDE HUSTLE : having a side hustle is something people who have time are capable of - g.ladio's schedule is pretty packed and what free time he does have he tends to spend reading, training ( freak ) or out in the woods ( the occasional drinks and parties with the g.laives notwithstanding ). but inspired by a convo i had with @fairesky if he had one it would probably be as a personal trainer or gym instructor. SECRETLY, though, if he has the opportunity he likes to write. poetry, prose when it comes - if he thought anyone would like to hear what he had to say he might try a serious book review blog or even chuck his own stuff out there. BUT he's much too modest and critical about his own work for that.

HAIR CARE ROUTINE ( ASK ME ABOUT HIS HAIR, YOU'LL GET A MINI ESSAY ) : g.ladio has a pretty laid back hair routine, but it's one of the things he likes the most about himself ( and that's saying something ). his hair is pretty thick and when it gets any length to it, it can get unruly if he's not taking care of it. SO HE DOES. washes every third or fourth day, he has a dry shampoo powder he uses when he can't wash - and uses it to control everything between washes when needed. he has a hair oil he got from c.rowe who has a similar hair type to him and he tries to use it once every couple weeks where possible. in terms of styling he doesn't need all the gel and product the others do, but he has a light pomade he uses just for hold to push his shorter layers back - the man has NATURAL VOLUME so he doesn't have to worry about heat application or heavy styling. the undercut came about as a way to control how overheated he tends to get, especially in summer weather - taking the side length off helped a lot, but as we know he later grows that out ( thank you world without electric clippers for making that happen, one of the very VERY few good things to come out of the 10 years of darkness ). once it's all grown out he has to spend a little bit more time on it in terms of comb maintenance, but nothing major.

#: NAV / ANSWERED #: NAV / THOUGHTS #thank you babe!! mwah #yes i will talk about g.ladio and his stupid pretty hair for a long time #also! who else would read g.ladio's goodreads reviews?

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chocobro-hijinks · 7 years

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Android Companion AU

Lucis is an advanced civilization, the crown city of Insomnia is self sustaining and generally safe, but the limited land with which to build on can barely fit the growing population. You are an independent adult who had landed a dream job in the heart of the city, your parents bid you farewell from their farmhouse just east of Lestallum, and now you are living alone in a very crowded, claustrophobic, and constantly noisy business district.

One day, you find an offer of comfort in your solitary life:

Model: NOCT-1.5 (limited number of units produced):

This model is the cutting-edge technology of all companions available in the market, the be-all end-all royalty of the trade. it is never advertised because very few people can afford it, but you’re a tech nerd and you’ve heard of the legends

It’s usually ridiculously expensive and waaaay out of your range, for some reason, this one is on sharp discount in your local computer shop

the clerk tells you it’s on a discount because it has been taken out of the box by a previous owner and returned, but is in top shape otherwise

it’s a small investment even after the price cut and you’re seriously trying to talk yourself out of it, but the more you look at the android behind the sheer plastic, the more you are entranced by the sharp features and slim design.

a part of you hungers to see what the eyes look like once turned on, and what kinds of apps and functions you can install on such a rare product

you take it home, and the moment you plug it- him in, bright piercing eyes glow red for three seconds, and then mellow out to a soft crystal blue

he doesn’t smile as per programming, he doesn’t greet you and ask you what username you would like to sign in as; he simply asks “where the hell am I now?”

turns out this particular android is defective, he has a tangible fracture in the enamel of his back that can’t be seen under the realistic silicone flesh, you start to believe the creeping suspicion that he has been sold and resold several times before finding his way to you, he has learned to loathe it

his energy depletes fast no matter how long you charge him, sometimes he will not respond to your voice commands even though you are 100% sure he heard, the string running between the balljoints of his hip and knee snaps out of place sometimes, and you have to rewind it back into it’s slot every time

his library is mostly filled with video games and movies and you don’t have the heart to wipe it out, eventually you start taking an interest in them as well, and he teaches you a hilarious card game called King’s Knight which you’re pretty sure is made up

his algorithm slowly adapts to your lifestyle: helping you with the cooking, suggesting places in the city for you to visit together, helping you wind down to sleep at the end of a stressful day

he’s not very fond of the alarm clock app, though, and had repeatedly attempted to delete it

he doesn’t have a lot of domestic functionality, either, you’re not sure if it’s lost with the injury to his crystal core or if it’s just the limitation of a ‘leisure’ model

you find his presence, if unexpectedly somber, comforting. it’s nice to have someone waiting for you at home just to talk to you after a long day

now when you see posts gloating about interacting with this model in some tech exhibit, you thank your lucky stars that you found the ‘defective’ one, because the factory default seems to be a tearfully boring and obnoxious prince-type cliche

Model: MT-Series Line: Argentum:

The Argentum (Silver) line is manufactured to look male, while the Aurum (Gold) line is manufactured to look female.

This series was so heavily advertised and mass produced that you absolutely refused to consider an android companion because of the depravity of it!

The whole MT-Series rubs you the wrong way; a bunch of pretty models programmed to act like stuck up bullies with minimum functionality. They’re made to fill up office hallways and do mundane desk jobs

they’re not even good at it, everything about them is mediocre and you refuse to jump on the hype train, not even for the endless customization features.

it is extremely attractive and, because of the affordable price, there’s at least one in every modern household, doing taxes and planning family finances

one day you are waiting on a care package from your family when you receive a huge shipment box covered in foreign lettering. you take it home, assuming they’ve used whatever cardboard container available that can fit all the vegetables of the season, like always

instead you find a used Argentum model with no clothes, bubble wrap hastily stuffed around the hips (to let pass through customs no doubt), no instructions manual, and three charger cables of varying lengths

you’re sure it’s been sent to the wrong address but there’s no way for you to return it because there’s no shipment label or letter.

you have to ask the machine itself where it came from, you plug it in

this boy turned on like a charm, at first he spoke a foreign language but after hearing you speak for thirty seconds his algorithm realigned itself and he switched to Lucian

He introduced himself with machine name “Prompto!” that can’t be modified without inputting a password in Nifillian, he blinks his shiny inquisitive eyes in wait for your name and beams at you when you tell him

you wanted to return him, you really did, but that smile could melt meteors!

you ask him for a rundown of his operating mission and previous location, he stutters, turns off, then automatically wakes up again

most of his default core programs were replaced with homebrew ones, all his optional apps, previous ownership libraries and all of his geolocation data have been wiped clean

this one knows not a lick of complicated math but can vocalize every top40 hit songs for as long as the battery will last

you’ve heard of people who tinker with the androids, and knowing it’s illegal means if you’re caught with a modified machine you could face a fine you can’t afford

he’s yours now, so you decide to teach him how to blend in so that one day you can take him out to see those chocobos he keeps singing about whenever he’s idling

you give him things to do around the house and bless his whirring core he tries. it’s fun learning how to cook with him, what his culture algorithm has learned about fashion, and what kinds of activities his synthetic muscles have learned before he dropped into your hands

the one thing he really excels at is taking photographs, and the love that shines in his eyes when he’s taking pictures of you make you wonder if it’s possible for someone to install a soul in a machine

Model: G.Ladio Line: 飴.citia (Sweet Line):

this one is straight up advertised as a “Lover Companion”, and most series don’t even come with a shirt

the most slandered model in the Android Companion community, praised only for it’s lengthy charge time and sturdy assembly, it’s nearly impossible to damage this one without intending to

you have no need for a lover android, you tell your friends over coffee, if you wanted a jackhammer you’d get one from the hardware store for half the price

so of course your friends prank you by getting you a G.Ladio unit for your birthday

you don’t realize what they’ve done until you’re opening presents the next day and BAM! topless muscle man unfurls from the Styrofoam packaging to engulf you in a tight warm embrace

it takes you a minute to figure out how to cancel the command your friends have set up to switch to idle mode, by then he’s on top of you with both hands up your shirt and a very real mouth on your neck

you’re angry and embarrassed and flustered, one button press away from chewing out all your asshole friends in one conference call, but the warm eyes and soft smile that look back at you persuade you otherwise

his set up process is super simple, all you have to do is input your name and choose an intensity setting

that’s literally what it was called: level of intensity

you sweat nervously and decide to have it on the lowest setting, while searching for the instruction’s manual hoping there’s an intensity equal to ‘off’ or ‘not yet ready for the whole concept tbh’

thankfully you have something big enough to cover the tattoo your friends ordered with the purchase (your least favorite bird: the crow)

now you can start your day without being distracted by realistic silicone man titties; self-heating-silicone if your first encounter was any indication

low intensity Gladio is surprisingly pleasant, he comes with romance novel apps to recite for you, a warm rumbling voice bank to lull you to sleep, he’s waterproof, heatproof, and knows several party games

he waters your plants when you forget to do it according to a botanic encyclopedia he has installed by default (it’s to select flowers on your dates, but this works better for your succulents and lilies)

you find it nice to have someone to warm your toes on in bed, someone to enjoy casual cuddling while watching a movie, someone you can program to kiss your neck juuuust right, someone who never tires of you when you’re overly snappy and moody after a bad day

your friends tease you about ‘how are you liking your overpriced jackhammer’, and you laugh at their blanching faces when you tell them you’re already on the highest level of your Gladio and is considering ordering a new drill bit

Model: Scientia Ign-1S:

This one isn’t nearly as advertised as the others, it is manufactured by a highly specialized company for very specific corporate purposes

the only reason you even know it exists is because it is necessary to have one in your office branch to communicate with the other units around the company building

you and your coworkers consider it part of the office furniture, it’s just always there, idling in the background

It has very basic social apps, there is an admin lock on it’s learning curve so you can’t teach it to converse with you, it watches everything silently, recording, seething

One morning you show up to work and there’s security everywhere, there has been a break-in and the android was sabotaged in an attempt to break the encryption

the camera spheres in the eye sockets were ripped out with a crowbar, damaging the satin silicone finish of the face assembly and shattering the glass orb inside a socket beyond repair

one hand is officially lost, a leg was ripped and used to smash into the glass window overlooking the office of your superior

one of the many crystal cores lay dim in it’s exposed chest, having self-destructed as a tampering defense mechanism

a coworker jokes that now your office has a free punching bag

the technician announces that any sensitive data had been completely wiped and is ready for repairs, but your office refuses to fix the machine because it’ll be cheaper to just buy a new one under a different insurance contract, they order a disposal

at the end of the day you find a limb sticking out of the dumpster behind your workplace and yank it out, it is attached to the damaged Scientia android now missing it’s wig and some internal wiring

you’re virtually broke and absolutely cannot afford repairs for such a limited model, but at this point leaving him behind feels like leaving a human coworker to fend for themselves, robot or not

it takes you months of research and the hunting down of parts, of learning how to weld wires and stitch silicon flesh; eventually you end up with a somewhat functioning Scientia model without breaking the bank!

sure one socket is permanently closed to prevent the constant shedding of glass and enamel shards, there are cuts and spots on it’s face that cannot be restored without reskinning his whole head, but at least the new core you scored in an online bid comes with some fancy custom tools!

now he has a massive concept-generator, a library of battle animation files that control the skeletal rig, an advanced linguistic database so he never runs out of words to say, and some strange fashion-modeling script (it installed itself!)

you also find an extensive voice bank to replace the one that had been locked back in the office, this one only comes in an unusual Tenebrean Accent (no wonder it was free...)

you put on his new hair last, a fancy pompador you got off a cosplay site, his delicate face pulls into a soft smile

he’s been watching you, learning you, for over a year as you patched him up and sowed him back together. He knows what foods you like, what music you listen to when you cry, what breeds of dogs please you the most; he offers all of it to you when he obtains functioning limbs

you find yourself eager to go home to your imperfect housemate who looks at you like you’re his sun and stars, and there’s very little you can do to keep from falling in love with his every smile

he is very protective of you, and you feel safe walking with him in a crowded city where not many people recognize him as a machine

you become protective of him, too, and remove the admin limitations on those battle commands so nobody can ever hurt him again

(there’s not enough android companion stories out there, let me live)

as always, these head canons can be freely used for fics, RPs, art, whatever, change what you want and have fun with it!

#ffxv #chocobros #ffxv headcanons #android companion au #noctis lucis caelum #prompto argentum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scentia #loooooooooong post #hella #in the time it took me to write this #i coulda finished Costelmark tower #lmao #rip my fingers

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