#but hey i need to at least try and take it easy before college yk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ideks-on-mars · 2 years

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Yk i couldve just asked you in dms but HEY WHATEVER . Anywyas got any headcanons of reonsemishira when shirabu is third year and captain whilst the two are in university 🤭

THAT'S OK LMAO when you send asks to my inbox it makes it easy on me cuz I always like to give people credit for their ideas 🤭

ANYWAYS REONSEMISHIRA ONE YEAR LATER HCS LET'S GO!!!

- They already have a pretty strong relationship so that really helps the whole situation

- They FaceTime a lot. Semi and Reon managed to pull off getting into the same university so they usually sit together and talk to Shirabu

- Shirabu is actually taking quite well to being captain. He's pretty good at it.

- He gets stressed an awful lot, due to the fact that Goshiki won't leave him alone and the new first years are too busy trying to kiss his ass that they get in his way

- Plus he's already taking college courses, it's a lot to do. Good thing he's got good ol' vice captain Taichi to help him out

- Semi is holding on for his life

- Trying to balance a band, attending university for a business degree, AND the modeling job he does on the side. It's a lot

- Please someone help him, he's constantly on the verge of jumping out the window 💀

- Reon doesn't have it any easier than the other two 😭

- He's gotta balance out HIS OWN business degree, with his job, AND he does D3 volleyball

- It's a struggle for all three of them to say the least

- Reon and Semi have their own little apartment together <3. They honestly love it. Just them two in their own little world, however they really miss Shirabu

- They have a picture of the three of them together on their bedside table 😪

- Shirabu finds himself to be bored more often.

- He can't just go to the next floor of the dorms and bother his boyfriends anymore :(

- During his first few days in the dorms without thing 1 and thing 2, he lays in bed and sulks. Especially on the weekends

- He's suffering without his baes 😪

- Sometimes Reon and Semi buy snacks from the store that Shirabu really likes just because it reminds them of him

- They're dramatic, ik, but it's cute so let them live

- Shirabu's homescreen is a ft screenshot of Semi and Reon asleep. They both have their mouths wide open, Semi is drooling, and Reon's on the verge of falling over 💀

- When they visit each other, Shirabu prefers to go to their apartment just because he loves the place so much.

- It's like home to him. His two favorite people there. Just him and his boyfriends. In their own little space (*/▽＼*)

- He adores it so much 😭

- Semi and Reon are already asking him to move in once he graduates. The medical school Shirabu is aiming for not being far from their own university, it would work perfectly.

- Shirabu is honestly so flattered that they miss him as much as he misses them, but what does he expect? They need their little gremlin with them 😭

- However Semi and Reon do like to come back home every once in a while. Or at least come back to a familiar area. So they come to visit Shirabu too 😙

- Taichi gags every time that he hears them on the phone and Shirabu just glares at him

- Sometimes Semi goes to turn around and say something that will annoy Shirabu but then he remembers that Shirabu doesn't live with them yet

- When they go to see each other the reunions are always very sweet

- Shirabu never knows who to hug first so it's just a matter of who gets to him first. That's usually Semi though because Reon actually cares about not acting like an animal in public 💀

- Semi always spins him and Reon always dips him slightly and gives him kisses all over his face.

- Semi probably tries to make out with him right there in the station. Shirabu and Reon have to knock some sense into him before he embarrasses them 😭

- They go out to little restaurants that they wanna show Shirabu and they catch up

- Knowing Semi, he's probably hanging all over Shirabu. (Reon's probably always holding onto him too tho ngl. They both get clingy)

- "Hold on. You both can have me all you want when we get home."

- Oh? 👀

- "Did you just call our apartment 'home'?"

- Shirabu doesn't think he's ever seen the two of them so giggly

- They keep saying it over and over again. Just giggling and then going "HOME"

- Shirabu's so embarrassed he just sits there and eats his food in shame. Meanwhile the other two are teasing him for being "too cute"

- Once they get HOME (hehe) they definitely just flop over on the bed and watch shows they like

- They like reality TV and cooking shows. Don't ask why they just do.

- Probably like shit like 'The Bachelor/Bachelorette' or '90 Day Fiancé'.

- Idk they're interesting. But Semi and Shirabu get way too into it and get really pissed off when something in the show goes wrong

- They wanna sleep in and just cuddle but at the same time they wanna make the most of their time together, it's hard to decide 🤧

- They'll get up and they'll have a nice breakfast together in THEIR HOME (I'm still not over that)

- They do little things. Just things that they would do back in the dorms. Like go on walks in the park, get ice cream.

- It's nice to do things they used to be able to do all the time. Since their time together is more valued now.

- Leaving is always really sad :(

- Them being so busy, it's hard to see each other. Even Semi and Reon struggle to find time to relax with one another.

- They all hug and kiss and all that stuff and they do the exaggerated wave to Shirabu through the window

- On the way home Semi's probably hanging all over Reon the whole time because he always has to be touching one of them. Reon just huffs and smiles. They just gotta remember that Shirabu's gonna finish high school soon and then they'll all move into the apartment and be a happy lil family :(

- Shirabu's probably so sad on the way home. He texts them when he gets back to the dorms to let them know that he's safe and then he goes and tells Taichi all about his adventures

- The very next day they're going to go back to acting like they haven't seen each other in years but they just love each other

- They're so cute, ReonSemiShira runs through my veins. Thank you for coming to listen to me talk about the cutest boyfriends <3

#i love them sm #shiratorizawa #stzw #shirabu kenjirou #shirabu kenjirō #semi eita #oohira reon #ōhira reon #reonsemishira

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bpd-black · 7 years

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hey guys, so this is gonna be a long ass post, but here’s the tldr version: i love you and i hope you continue to learn about yourselves, and advocate for your mental wellbeing cause y'all are literally so beautiful and important and an integral part of our universe, the world literally wouldn’t be the same without you ✊🏾💕

SO, i just wanted to let y'all know that if you’ve ever messaged me (and this is for my black followers, btw, the rest of y'all … i don’t know why tf you’re here, but none of this is for you so ✌🏾bye, you can leave lol) please please know that i almost always read whatever’s in my inbox right away, and that i do care about your questions and what you have to say, even when i don’t answer right away or at all. you guys reaching out to me is NEVER bothersome. NEVER dumb. NEVER ridiculous. and tbh, it’s always flattering to think anyone would come to me w/ mental health concerns, considering that this blog literally started as a place for me to just vent out into the void & that i used to block anyone that followed me, lol.

(i jus didn’t want people to follow my blog ??? idk, i just felt like i had no other outlet to scream, and i was in a really bad place back then, idek, it made sense at the time. anyway, NOW this blog is a place for me to store information, affirmations and links to resources that i find informative or helpful. and i actually really love getting feedback (cough and validation cough) from you guys 💖 so pls, just know that you mean a lot to me.)

THE THING IS, though: i’m still not a professional. and when it comes to something as serious as mental health (especially in the black community) i just feel like i still have too much learning to do and too much healing to do before i’m qualified to offer any real advice. rn, all i have to say to most of y'all is ‘damn, thas unfortunate, me too’ and i really don’t want to give anyone a half assed answer like that, lol. it might take me a while to research what you wanna know, so yeah. bls be patient with me.

also i kinda wanted to introduce myself, since i don’t think i’ve ever posted an intro on this blog lol:

in summary, i’m a twenty one year old black girl, gay as hell, still living at home, still unemployed, still on leave from college, and still struggling just to shower and get out of bed every day :)) which sucks and i hate my life rn and i battle with like, intense self hatred cause a lot of my family is very disappointed in me and, quite frankly, i’m very disappointed with myself.

moving on, lol, more about my mental state: i’ve only ever been professionally diagnosed with depression and gad, though i personally believe i experience too many bpd symptoms to rule out the possibility that i am, in fact, borderline, and so i consider myself as such.

(( a small rant about that real quick: imo, and tbh, labels are just terms that researchers make up to help organize studies, keep track of patterns, and come up with plans and solutions to help large groups of people. so, basically, i am a strong advocate of NOT beating yourself up too much when it comes to finding the ‘right’ label for you and NOT attacking someone else that you don’t think ‘fits’ the description for a disorder or illness according to your research. like, yeah, fake ass neurotypicals are annoying as hell and they can all choke but ! the only person who really knows what’s going on in someone’s brain is that person themselves. and NO ONE owes you a dissertation on their mental struggles just to ‘prove’ they’re in pain. so, imo !!! it’s just a lot more important to recognize and identify what SYMPTOMS you struggle with, and the severity of said symptoms, and worry about umbrella terms later !! cause that insight will make it easier to look for help and advice and !! mental illness and personality disorders are all on a spectrum. so yeah. go easy on yourselves 💕 anyway, i struggled a lot with that concept, and for far too long, SO just wanted to get that out of the way before i continue (hope that made any sense) but i digress!!! ))

i also struggle with both intrusive and suicidal thoughts, a few minor self destructive habits, and i’m currently taking medication for my depression and anxiety. and tbh, though i still have some pretty terrible days, i will say the meds have helped a LOT. and i’m so glad, cause i’m the first in my family to openly take medication for a mental illness (stigma stigma god fucking stigma) and i was so so scared the meds would just make it worse, but they didn’t, so yeah :)

also, and this is a bit personal (but i’m willing to be a bit vulnerable with you guys, if it’ll help anyone at all) but, i planned on killing myself last year. it didn’t happen (evidently lol) but i ended up staying at the hospital for a week and then participating in a two week partial program after that. i’m currently looking for a new partial program or support group that i can join, and i’m trying to get a job and get back to school.

also, i have been seeing a therapist since my senior year of high school (which !!is a bit of a wild tale tbh, but long story short, my parents literally refused to believe mental illness was a real thing for the longest time. and it wasn’t until i told them i literally wouldn’t graduate high school if i didn’t get some help that they believed me.) my first two therapists were awful racist white women (still fuckin hate them btw) but my third therapist was a really cool white woman who actually introduced me to my current therapist who is this really amazing black woman and so far, i feel like she’s been the best fit for me. but i’ve very recently had to put my therapy sessions on pause cause i’m poor as hell and couldn’t pay for them anymore, so yeah. and, tbh, that’s really been stressing me the fuck out as of late, but what i’m trying to do is make the most of whatever other resources are available to me (helplines, textlines, self care strategies, forums, blogs, google, etc.) and i still have a social worker so idk, i should be okay 👌🏾

anyway, that was a lot of oversharing but, now you all know where i am atm ;) and i only share this with you guys cause a lot of asks i receive are about feeling like shit for not knowing what pd you have, or about being too poor to afford good health care, or not knowing how to convince your conservative ass black parents that you’re dying and need help and like !!! all of those topics are so so important to me on a very personal level !!! and i wanna help y'all so bad. but tbqh, i’m still trying to figure this shit out myself 😕 so, what i’m hoping is, just by letting you know more about my experience and being as honest as i can about it, at least one of you readin this might feel a little less lonely dealing with your pain. idk.

anyway, second to last thing: fr tho, i hope y'all know that it is both a rare, and amazing trait to be as insightful as so many of you are. even just trying to figure out ‘god, what is wrong with me’ and taking the time to do the research, is self care. it’s defiance. it’s acknowledging that a better life is possible, and it’s straight up refusing to settle for the pain you’re in now, for a life less fulfilling than what you know you deserve. i feel like the generations before us didn’t do that enough (with good reason, tbh, even today it’s still hard to know who we can trust) but it’s high time black people start healing our minds and our hearts. so power to you ✊🏾

and yeah. that’s all i wanted to say this morning. i’ve been wanting to say all that for a while, but wasn’t sure where the hell to start. i just hope that was all coherent and made sense, lol. don’t ever hesitate to message me guys. i may be an emotional wreck that takes too long to reply, but i do love you. lol.

and please please please continue to research things on your own as well, like. keep up with the latest studies, the TED talks, the blavity articles, the mental health blogs etc. etc. learn as much as you can about how to take the best care of you, even if my executively dysfunctional ass can’t help right away lol.

also !! (last thing, i promise) a quick update about this blog: i edited it a bit, namely my tagging system, to make it a bit more useful. i won’t go through all my tags here (maybe i’ll add an about page and a tag page later) but, for example, there’s my new affirmations tag (full of helpful reminders that i like to think about everyday) my positivity tag (just, yk, positive shit that makes think positive thoughts) and my black tag (whatever content i feel like pertains to just my fellow black + mentally ill peeps, cause lbr a lot of our struggles only happen at the intersection of both identities) 💕

i also have a music tag for music recommendations!! cause i like to believe music is very healing all on its own ;)

AAAAND that’s it lol 😘 stay safe out there guys !! this world is wild but, tbh, we know better than anyone what it means to make the very most out of our lives no matter what. happy black history month 🖤

#bpdblack.txt #ask #about me #blackness is ethereal #recovery #medication #self dx #hospitalization #bpd

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vanhonnn · 4 years

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Last day of 2019

Hi there, how are you? Its been a while since the last time you revise yourself eh. How are you doing baby girl? I miss you. I miss truly you. You have been living for others too much. Where are you?

Hey, I'm still here. Ik there are many things that I still couldn't do much. But I'm still trying and I dont give up on myself this year YK. That's the most important thing.

Thank you. You did a great job on that. I have to admit many happened to you this year but you still survive.

RELATIONSHIP

Ok. this time last year you were in a relationship with many red flags. Tbh, you weren’ t happy at all in that relationship. And one year later, you have someone to be with, even he is miles away. He can still make you happy. He gives you space, but still gives you the feeling that he cares about you a lot. He doesn’ t make a promise that he can’t keep like other men. He said the words that he has the ability to do it. He does make you feel safe and joyful in life that you have someone waiting and always support in your journey.

My turn to talk about this. I’m happy that I met a very special person who I look up a lot. He’ s very hardworking, he cares about his family, he is willing to support me anytime. Remember the time I fail my driving test, also I lost my job when I was back, before my final exams and also my exit exam in my college . He was everywhere. Thank you so much. Now think about what I have given to you. You actually don’t really need me on any occasion. I have never seen you down before. But I did what I could. I was there to support you before your interviews. I showed you my feeling and gave you a little gift to see your beautiful smile, I tried to understand your position and didn’t make it difficult for you. Yes, I had changed from a very control person who easies to get upset and was too sensitive to be a person who has a purpose in life and knows how to give her partner space so he could breathe. Wow, you have changed me in a good way. Thank you for showing up in my life. And I hope you can be with me this time next year baby. I hope we can call each other “bae” next year because I can't wait to say that and be in your arms.

VANNIE

OK This year bravo to yourself. You did an amazing job. You survived in four months living on your own money and don’ t spend any penny from your parents’ s. I’m very proud of you. You finally did it. I hope you can still keep up your work next year. I know there will be a lot of transformation but at least you're trying that MATTER. Also, you made it to Europe, you tried to learn a new language and you find joy in learning it. You have been trying much good food, you have been to the land of your favourite snack ICECREAM. What else, oh you managed an Airbnb, it's a huge failure but at least you tried, and you know your interest in Interior design so much. You put yourself out there, even though many times you feel it was overwhelmed, you did well. You have learnt more about people, about how to know more about people around you. You have to spend many many times, have to live with them to understand more about them. It takes a long time to get a know a person. You finally performed like your desire in many years in college. You have friends around you who always willing to be there to make you happy. You temporary stop thinking about money as your priority. You know that studying is your priority now.

Nevertheless, many bad things happened to you, lost phone, lost money, lost apartment key, but its all good. It's all about a lesson for yourself, for the future.

Great job in learning how to control your emotions.

Your weaknesses and how to change it:

1. LAZY

2. Still hadn’t spent enough time for yourself. I want to take care of myself properly. Like how I want to take care of my boyfriend. I want to spend time on my habit, not just chilling and spending money.

3. I haven't passed my language barrier: ENGLISH, FRENCH, SPANISH.

4. Gain more knowledge about this world. Learn more about things out there.

GOALS FOR 2020

1. I have new habits in doing things that I need to do and I want to do.

2. Take care of myself properly.

3. Improve my language, this year my french, my English, my Spanish will be better.

4. Do not give up on me.

5. Make my parents happy.

6. Be with my baby and make him feel happy

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