#but its just so fucking ridiculous to show jamie giving him Another chance even after we've seen every attempt blow up in his face

[stars-a-n-d-scars]

10 Days of Summer - Chapter 1

Hi so no one was really seeing this over on ao3 and I worked really hard on it, so I decided to give it a shot over here. The next 9 chapters will be coming soon, so follow me or the tag to see them!

- Mia x

*

It was the hottest summer Buckinghamshire had ever seen. The rolling fields were dusted with the final remnants of spring, as the less-resilient plants wilted and those suited to the sweltering conditions flourished. The sun sat high in the sky for so long that one began to wonder if the night would ever come. Of course, it always did, but was rarely accompanied by any sort of liberation from the fervor.

The only relief to be gleaned from the unnerving sensation of being cooked in your own skin could be found in the cool waters of a large, clear lake that sat beside a homely manor, nestled in the hills of the county. Hidden beneath the outstretched branches of various trees, the lake had been subject to many a morning swim or late-night gathering over the years. It was here, in fact, that the four marauders could be found, on the hottest day of August, 1975.

With Euphemia and Fleamont gone to France for the summer, the boys had taken the opportunity to spend their last 2 weeks at the Potter estate. Of course, James’ parents had been reluctant to let the boys stay there without a set of rules, and so they created a long list of guidelines, all of which the marauders had plans to break before their return to Hogwarts on the 1st of September. It had already been four blissful days of this, and they still had 10 to go when we join the group.

Sprawled in their various positions around the lake, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were all basking the shade of the trees, simply taking in this pocket of bliss they had found in a world that was becoming increasingly more war-like with each passing second. The sun was shining overhead and they were with each other. And in that moment, that was all they needed.

The silence was broken with a loud splash, followed by an indignant “OI!” Remus clambered out of the water and up the bank, his eyes fixed on is assailant, vengeance in his expression.

“You fucking moron! I was reading! You could have thrown any one of them into the lake! Merlin knows a good dip would’ve done Peter some good, but no! You had to choose me!” His outburst was cut short when he got close enough to take in Sirius’ expression. His face, far from showing any signs of regret, instead bore his signature Sirius Black smirk. One corner of his mouth was upturned, his nose scrunched in a way that suggested both innocence and the opposite. It was an expression that, on anyone else, would have looked out-of-place and frankly stupid, but that befitted Sirius’ features perfectly. Remus had often marveled at how it drew out his devilishly handsome side.

Having lost his train of thought completely, his wand limp in his hand, Remus decided the best thing to do was to go and find a nice warm patch of sun in which to dry off. Sirius, however, had other plans. Remus had barely taken two steps toward his towel before he was grabbed around the waist and thrown, for the second time that day, headfirst into the water.

Sinking was an enjoyable feeling. Down there, in the water, nothing could hurt you. It was all up to you. Sound became nothing but a detached concept, and time joined it in its alienation. You could sink forever, simply being engulfed by the soft waves of the water, and emerge not a second later. Remus did just that. As his head broke the surface, spluttering, he lashed out wildly and managed to grab hold of an ankle. Pulling hard, the owner of said ankle tumbled into the lake next to him, and Remus soon found himself floating, face to face, with Sirius, once again bearing that ridiculous grin.

As both of the boys tried to catch their breath, time stopped. And it was just them. Remus and Sirius, Sirius and Remus. Floating in that never-ending pool of possibilities. Breaths became heavy as an invisible force seemed to draw them closer, closer.

Their noses were nearly touching now Remus could see every detail of Sirius’ eyes from here. He could almost pinpoint the exact place where blue leaked into grey, which leaked into black. It was strange, really, how anyone’s eyes could be so captivating. Almost a point of curiosity. Eyes had a purpose. They captured light, which was then translated into information, which was then processed by the brain to take in the person’s surroundings. So why did all logic defy Sirius’ eyes to be so beautiful? They had no reason to be. It wasn’t to make it easier to see. It wasn’t to draw in a mate (because merlin, he needed no help with that), so why? Their breath mingled in the moist summer air, their lips inches apart. It was taking every ounce of restraint that Remus had in his not to close the gap and snog his best mate senseless, but then again, that was the norm when you were secretly in love with your best friend.

The tensions was shattered by the snap of a book closing.

“Alright, boys, I’m bored”, James announced, stowing Quidditch Through the Ages in the small bag he had brought down from the house. The boys sprung apart, all nervous coughing and straightening of hair. Remus hurriedly turned his back on his – what, crush? It was more than that. But he knew one thing for certain; now was not the time to figure it out. This was what he told himself as he climbed up the bank and rolled out onto the grass.

In an attempt to restore himself to his former state of nonchalance, Remus rolled his eyes sarcastically (quite successfully, given the situation he was actually thinking about).

“You’re reading that book again? You’ve barely taken your hands off of it all summer!”, he said, pulling Sirius up the bank after him (and definitely not thinking about the sensation of his friend’s warm, wet hand in his).

Sirius grinned. “Aw, lay off him Rem. This is the first year Lily had gotten him a birthday present. Honestly, I would be concerned if he read it any less than a thousand times.”

This comment was met with a playful shove from James, but the lovesick boy couldn’t hide his grin at the recollection of Lily’s favor. James shook the memory from his mind (with difficulty, it seemed).

“I’m bored. Let’s go to town, grab a milkshake or something.”

Sirius, always keen for an outing to the muggle town that was located less than a kilometer from the Potters’ house, agreed almost immediately. Peter followed suit at the mention of food, and began rummaging in his pocket for the stash of muggle money his parents had granted him for the holiday. Remus was somewhat more reluctant.

“I don’t know guys. It’ll be dark soon, and I don’t really want to go walking around a strange village in the middle of the night.”

“It’s not a strange village, Rem! Jamie grew up here!” (The use of the less-than-favorable nickname earned Sirius yet another shove). “Plus… there’s an antiques store. And last time I was there the owner said they’d be getting a new stock of books in this summer.”

“You know me too well”, Remus caved, and packed up his stuff. They went and dropped off their things at the main house, got changed into some town-going clothes and headed for the road that led down into the charming muggle settlement of Padbury.

**

It really was a lovely little town. Old cottages with thatched roofs skirted the border, with carefully-trimmed gardens of heather and honeysuckle. A beautiful old church sat in the town center, with a clock tower and a bell that frankly, shouldn’t still be operational, given it’s age. But, as many things in the town of Padbury, it seemed to be denied the effects of the passage of time, and instead chimed beautiful notes out over the countryside every hour.

The main road took the boys right into the middle of the town, where a collection of stores seemed to be waiting for them. The town square had everything, ranging from mechanics to diners, from supermarkets to florists. And, nestled in between a non-descript restaurant and a lavender-adorned wall, was a beautiful little antique store. Remus made a beeline for it, but was stopped in his tracks by James’ hand on his wrist.

“Come on Remus. Let’s go check out that comic-book store first! I love muggle comics, they’re so corny…”

Remus sighed, knowing that very few people could ever change his friend’s mind, and began to follow him across the street. But fortunately, Sirius was one of the people capable of performing that miraculous feat, and, in that moment, happened to be on Remus’ side.

“C’mon James. Remy doesn’t want to spend hours with you oggling at randos in spandex and getting inspiration for your next move at Evans. You take Pete over to the comic-book store, and Remus and I will go to the antiques shop.” Sirius shot a smile Remus’ way, which managed to both make his heart beat a million miles a second and stop it altogether.

James scoffed. “What do you want with an antique shop?”

“I have to get something for Reggie’s birthday, and he loves old dusty books and things. Plus, I have no desire to spend any amount of time dicussing whether or not Lily would think it was funny if you dressed up as Superman for halloween.”

Without giving James a chance to retort, Sirius dragged Remus back across the street and into the antique store before he even had a chance to register what was going on.

The second they entered the store, the rest of the world fell away. Somehow, the noise of the bustling street outside was silenced, and the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of an ancient grandfather clock that stood in the corner. Remus revolved on the spot, taking in every inch of the sequestered nook that they had just stumbled upon. Ornate carvings of all sorts sat in the windows, varying from animals to sprawling, intricate landscapes. Tapestries and paintings hung on the walls, each a moment of time, perfectly captured and eternalised on canvas. Furniture, bits and pieces and other oddments that had washed up in this place over the years were scattered haphazardly around the room, making for a display of authenticity that, although was now mostly gone from the world, seemed to have survived in this tiny corner of the English countryside. And the books. Oh, the books. They lined ever wall, and were stacked 10 high on shelves. Strewn and slid into every nook and cranny where they would fit. Not in any way categorized, but instead exactly where they were always meant to be. Delicate printings of Jules Verne, Ernest Hemmingway and even Shakespeare were mixed in with books as common as The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Remus closed his eyes and breathed. He breathed in the smell of dust and time. He breathed in the taste of the years these books had seen, the years he might catch a glimpse of between their pages. Be breathed because here, he could.

A soft hand rested on his shoulder and an even softer voice pulled him, somewhat reluctantly, from his reverie.

“Rem?”

Remus opened his eyes. It was Sirius. God, it was always Sirius.

“I’m going to look over here for something for Reggie”, he gestured to the carvings in the windows. “You take your time, okay? We have all day. Hell, we have all summer.”

Remus could do no more than nod as the comfortable weight on his shoulder lifted and he found himself alone again.

**

An hour and a half later, the boys exited the store with more books than anyone could possibly read, and two small, hollow carved flowers that Sirius had plans to enchant so that he could send his brother messages by placing a note inside his, and having it be transported to Regulus’.

They met up with James and Peter in the diner, and ordered four caramel milkshakes. When they came, Sirius whipped out his flask and added a little ‘extra flavour’, as he liked to call it. When the boys had finished their concoctions, they started to head home. However, it was quickly discovered that with the combined weight of Remus’ books, Sirius’ wooden flowers and James’ numerous gifts that he had gotten for Lily (“Maybe we should have gone with him, you know, for impulse control…”), it was going to be all but impossible to walk back to the manor. And so was hatched what was simultaneously the best and worst idea any of the marauders ever had. To rent a motorbike.

All they had to do was walk down to the mechanic down the street and rent one of the bikes they had going. They would only need it for a day, and would bring it back tomorrow. And so, the combined riches of James and Sirius making cost something of a trivial topic, the plan was enacted. The books were placed in a basket on the front, which was lowered so that Sirius could see. James’ takings from the trip were strapped (with slightly excessive security methods) to the back, and the flowers were placed in the side bags. After a few failed attempts at getting the bike started and close calls for the wooden ornaments, Sirius managed to be riding along next to the other boys at a steady pace. It took them no more than 20 minutes to get back home, at which point it occurred to them all that they were wizards, and could have easily bewitched all of the objects to float along beside them as they walked.

The boys ended the night collapsed around the living room fire. James charmed it so that it kept them cool, rather than warm, and Sirius entertained himself by making multi-coloured rainbows blossom from his wand. In the firelight, he looked over at Remus and smiled. Not a smirk, not a grin, a smile. And that smile what all it took for Remus to realise that he was totally and completely done-for. He was in love.

As Sirius went back to blowing bubbles, Remus began to drift off to sleep. The last coherent thought that entered his mind that night was this:

Merlin, it’s going to be a long 10 days.

*

I hope you liked it!!!

#10DaysOfSummer #wolfstar #marauders #maraudersera #siriusblack #remuslupin #jamespotter #hp #jily #peterpettigrew #lilyevans

[rushingheadlong]

Now You Must Be Strong - A Brian/trans-m!Reader fic

Summary: You didn’t mean to rile Brian up after his show... but you can’t say that you’re upset with the turn the night takes.

Wordcount: ~1,200

Tags/Warnings: Brian/trans-m!Reader, accidental stimulation, little bit of semi-public naughtiness going on but no real smut

Notes: Written for the prompt “Accidental Stimulation + Brian/Reader”. This is technically a follow-up to my fic Dear Friend, We’ll Carry On and although it should stand on its own, some of the details might make more sense if you’ve read that first.

There’s no quick escape for you and Brian after the Providence show is over and you can't help but feel a little annoyed about that. It’s not that you don’t appreciate having a chance to get to know Brian’s new band mates a little bit more; after all, they’ve easily accepted your presence over the last two days, without asking a thousand prying questions or giving any indication that they’re uncomfortable when you and Brian are perhaps a bit friendlier than you should be in public, and you appreciate that more than anything. But the fact remains that you’ve also just spent nearly two hours watching Brian perform in those tight grommet pants that drive you crazy and you’re eager to get back to the hotel room waiting for the two of you across town.

“C’mon, Y/N, have a seat,” Brian says. “We’re going to be here for a little while yet.”

You glance pointedly around the dressing room where the band has settled in to wait for the all-clear to head out. “No chairs left, are there?”

Spike starts to stand up from his seat but you quickly motion for him to stay where he is. “No, don’t be ridiculous, you guys just finished up a show! Honestly, I’m fine standing.”

But Brian shakes his head and says, “You’re making my feet hurt, just watching you pace around the room. Come over here, there’s room on the sofa.”

There really isn’t. It’s more of a loveseat and with Brian on one side and Cozy on the other, you’re not entirely sure where you’re supposed to fit in between them. Cozy rolls his eyes and moves over a little, flashing you a faint conspiratorial smile, the sort of look Roger or John might share with you when Brian was being particularly ridiculous about something that didn’t really matter at all. It makes your chest ache a little to see that look now but it’s not a bad feeling, really. He’s a good friend, Cozy is, and you’re glad that Brian has him around these days.

Brian moves over too but that still doesn’t leave much space for you. You size up the situation, weighing what you’ve learned about these people over the last few days and what you already know about Brian, and finally do the only thing you can: You take a seat on Brian’s lap instead.

It’s a bold move and Brian is clearly surprised, but he settles one arm around your waist anyway to help support you. “Well, hello there,” he says. “I have to say, this isn’t quite what I had in mind…”

“You wanted me to take a seat, so I did,” you say.

“He has a point there,” Shelley says with a laugh. “Or did you want him to lie down across you and Cozy instead?”

“No, no, I suppose this works,” Brian concedes. It helps, you think, that apart from a few amused smiles no one really bats an eye at your solution to the problem at hand.

The moment you sit down, though, you’re less certain that this was a good idea. Brian isn’t wearing the grommet pants anymore but he’s still a little bit too boney. There’s not quite enough meat on him for your choice of seat to be a particularly plush one and as the conversations in the room resume you can’t help but squirm around to try to find a more comfortable position.

Brian’s grip on your waist tightens a little. “Stop that,” he murmurs in your ear.

You huff and turn to whisper to him, “Well I’m sorry, but you could do with putting on a few more pounds, you know!”

You wiggle again and this time you hear Brian’s quiet inhale - and it finally registers that Brian’s dick is starting to grow a little hard beneath you.

“Oh, so that’s how this is,” you breathe. You shift in Brian’s lap again, and you’re close enough to Brian to be able to tell that he’s biting the inside of his cheek to stay quiet.

You shouldn’t tease him like this, not surrounded by his band and not after the two of you had agreed that you were both past the days of getting each other off backstage. But Brian’s lap is uncomfortable and you can’t stay perfectly still, even if you wanted to… And, if you’re being honest, maybe you don’t want to.

You know that Brian was purposefully teasing you while on stage earlier, lingering near where you were standing in the front row of the audience and rolling his hips obscenely against his guitar, or else letting his hands stroke lightly along the mic stand while he sang. A little payback is only fair, you think, even if the game you’re playing is a risky one.

The rest of the Brian May Band eventually starts to trickle out of the room, leaving to grab something to drink, to duck out for a smoke, or to make a phone call back home before they forget to call their loved ones altogether. Cozy raises an eyebrow at you the moment another chair is freed up but you just wiggle in Brian’s lap again, putting on a show of settling into place, and say, “Hey, Brian wanted me over here, so now he gets to deal with me until we leave.”

Besides, with how tightly Brian is gripping you now you don’t think you could stand up even if you wanted to.

One of the roadies ducks in to let the rest of you know that the cars will be ready to leave in about five minutes and Cozy and Jamie, the last two in the room besides you and Brian, take that as their cue to leave.

Once the door closes behind them Brian grabs you and pulls you into a hot kiss as he rocks up against you, his hard cock grinding against your ass.

“You’re terrible,” he says against your mouth. “Christ, do you have any idea how hard it was to control myself with you squirming around like that?”

You laugh and roll down your hips down against Brian’s lap, purposefully this time. “Yeah, I have some idea of how hard it might have been…”

Brian laughs at that, and rests his head against your forehead. “You’re terrible,” he says again. “And if we had the time, I might actually be tempted to fuck you back here, but…”

“But we don’t have the time, I know.” And even if you had the time the two of you wouldn’t risk it, not these days and no matter how badly you want to sink to your knees in front of him.

You move off of Brian, to give him some space to pull himself together. Brian lets out a shaky breath and you can see how hard he is. It almost makes you feel a little bad; at least no one can tell that you’re hard and dripping in your jeans, but Brian’s going to have a difficult time hiding how affected he is.

If Brian is worried about that, though, he doesn’t show it. He stands up and kisses you again, this time reaching down to press his hand against your cock through your pants. You inhale sharply and grind into his touch, as Brian tells you, “I’m going to get you back for this the moment we get back to the hotel.”

You shiver at the promise. “I can’t wait.”

#brian may x reader #brian may x trans reader #brian may fic #brian may fanfic #queen band fic #my fic #brian #(am I going to hell for using lyrics from this song in particular for a ns//fw fic? probably yeah but I'm alright with that I think) #(also I'm working on another longer fic set in this same universe bc I just love it so much) #(so hopefully?? I'll get that posted at some point this year??) #(the fic about Brian and his scars is still in the works too just FYI it's just... gotten out of hand....) #(like optimistically it's gonna be 15k long sort of out of hand afjdlkasfjkldas) #(but anyway!! anyway enjoy some very self-indulgent near-smut in the meantime lmfao)

[amestrisstruggles]

So I started this ages ago, when I was in a zone, and then I stopped being in that zone. But I figured, I would get there again and I would join the pieces up in to a coherent story. And then I realised even if I ever got in that zone again, I had zero interest in this. 

So. I lay it to rest in its incomplete, jumpy chaos. 

Out of the three of us (myself, Laurence and Tharkay), it is only Laurence that has seen this dumb movie and that too only because he felt like he was missing the key context to a conversation Tharkay was having with him. He’s slightly disturbed by the film, and he’s glad Temeraire was scaling the roof at the time as he shouldn’t like to have to explain why he’s watching such a terrible thing to the cat, but also why had Tharkay watched this? Had he really liked it? It seems like it’d be the exact combination of things to fill him with rage, but maybe there was some hidden meaning he would need to speak to Tharkay about to understand. 

Tharkay should have watched it, because it’s dangerous to jump on a bandwagon with no idea of the genesis, but it was funny and he’s a busy boy.

Tharkay is patient. It's a skill acquired over time and for this? Totally worth it.

He's taken the tea bags in the cupboard above the kettle. And he's taken the box in the larder. He's set his phone up with a good vantage point. Now he just waits.

Right on time, Laurence walks into the kitchen and turns on the kettle. Ten seconds later, Temeraire follows, winds his way around Laurence's feet and then leaps on to the countertop and starts to lick his paw. Perfect.

Laurence pulls out a mug, opens the cupboard and stops. He imagines the frown on his face and fights down a giggle. Temeraire stills suddenly and looks directly at him, crouching behind the side door. Please, Tharkay begs in his mind. Don't let the cat give it away. Almost as if he'd heard him, Temeraire drops his gaze and then nudges Laurence's hand with his head. Safe.

Tharkay waits to ensure he's a got a good few seconds of Laurence's confused disorientation before he sweeps in smoothly behind him.

"Are you lost, baby girl."

Laurence whirls around to face him, his brow furrowed and then his entire face crumples with confusion.

"What?"

He has to cut it tighter than he'd wanted to, but he hasn't foreseen his own hysterical laughter.

After watching it a few times and laughing to himself, he shows it to Laurence.

"Can I post it?"

Laurence looks gloriously confused but agrees

*****

Tharkay stages the next one when they're out on a hike, waits for the moment after they've packed up after their picnic lunch and are ready to get going again. There's a perfectly placed sign post and even more perfectly, Laurence has pulled out the map. He has his phone in hand this time and gets a good few seconds of Laurence's head bent over the map in front of the post before he breaks the silence

"Are you lost baby girl"

He amazes himself with his ability to say it straight faced a second time. Laurence turns his head slowly to the side to look at him, face blank.  His expression is so severe, it's almost more ridiculous than the first time.

*****

He has plans, so many plans but then his boss sends him a veritable goldmine of data that they’ve been waiting for and he gleefully dives back into his work.

When he surfaces 4 days later, his mind is a clean slate and any plans he had for followup videos are gone. He stumbles into bed and knocks out with all the weight of sleep deprivation and all the relief of a job well done.

Tharkay wakes up with a purring Temeraire curled around his head. It’s fucking adorable. It’s also hot as hell, so he only enjoys the suffering for a few minutes before pushing himself upright. Temeraire yawns with all the interest of a sleepy cat and then resettles into the space his head had been and goes back to sleep.

Tharkay takes an invigorating shower and makes his way down to the kitchen to let Laurence feed him his particularly average but sincere scrambled eggs on toast. 

*****two weeks later*****

One of the worst things, about inheriting this house is maintaining the garden. It's perfectly lovely for hosting; they've spent many a wonderful evening out on the patio or sprawled on the grass. But he finds the gardening and cleaning such a chore. Charmingly, Laurence knows this and will never let Tharkay do any gardenwork alone. Not that anyone is doing any gardening today, Tharkay is snoozing and reading on and off in the hammock. Temeraire is snoozing and fake-hunting on and off through the border shrubbery. Laurence was last seen avidly watching a rerun of Jamie’s 30 minute meals through which he was taking notes so unfortunately not snoozing, but that’s not a surprise.

So it’s an entirely unexpected but exceedingly desirable turn of events that Laurence should turn up in the garden shirtless. He’s also got the hose out in the middle of the day which is absolute nonsense because both of them know you don’t water the garden while the sun is peaking. He must be doing something else, maybe he’s cleaning, urgh. He should probably go and help he thinks, resentful that his relaxing is going to be so abruptly curtailed. He watches through slitted eyes for a bit, psyching himself up to lever himself out of the hammock and enjoying the view of the sun blessing Laurence’s wide, bare shoulders.

“Are you just going to watch,” Laurence calls eventually and Tharkay flops back fully, closing his eyes and scowls.

“What are you even doing?” he yells back tucking his book under his arm so it doesn’t fall out when he gets up.

Laurence doesn’t respond and Tharkay sighs heavily before heaving himself out of the hammock. By the time he reaches the patio, somehow Laurence is fighting with the hosepipe and thoroughly drenched. Lord save him, all he can see are glinting droplets on wet skin. 

“Can you- can you turn it off at the mains?” Laurence asks, focus 100% on fiddling with the spray nozzle.

“Sure,” he replies easily before he screams at being blasted by a stray stream of water. “Laurence!” Unlike some unnatural Navy types, forget his body, Tharkay’s very soul is sensitive to cold water.

“Sorry!” Laurence does sound apologetic and he’s negotiated the hose down to a sprinkle instead of a jet, so that’s something.

When Laurence grabs him by the back of the neck once he’s walked past, he’s so surprised he just goes along with it, let’s himself be guided back round by the surprisingly forceful grip and decides they’re about to have a ‘Do you want to die’ conversation.

In the end, the conversation dies before it even gets a chance to live because Laurence is right there, too too close and getting closer. He barely registers the endless ocean of Laurence’s irises in the bright light of the sun before he is fully derailed by the touch of his lips against his own. Kissing? Is Laurence kissing him?

It’s almost pointlessly quick, over before he even has the chance to enjoy it, Laurence has used the iron grip on the back of his neck to pull him away. He blinks through the water dripping down his face and watches Laurence's mouth open to say something. Which… is not happening right now, because, that was such a non-event of a kiss it’s not quite worth talking about. He overrides Laurence’s grip and surges forward to kiss him properly sliding one arm around his waist to pull him closer. Laurence is painfully slow on the uptake and Tharkay wonders if actually, maybe it would be sensible for them to talk first, because this is getting to be very awkward and one-sided. But then Laurence’s hand loosens on his neck and slides down his back to rest just above the waistband of his shorts and goosebumps break out all over his skin. He tilts his head slightly, teeth pressing lightly into Laurence’s bottom lip to tease his mouth open and it’s just so so good so much better than any fantasy he’d conjured. Laurence is furnace hot despite the spray and he pushes trails of heat through him from every point they’re touching.

The sun slides behind a cloud and immediately Tharkay is freezing, his clothes are fully soaked through and the hose is still wasting water on the patio. He shivers in what must be a particularly unsexy way because Laurence pulls back straight away. 

“We should dry up,” Laurence says looking him over with a frown, ever the Ambassador of Practicality.

“Laurence,” he says finally, because actually they should talk about this, “what the fuck?”

*****Six months later*****

Tharkay pulls over, disgruntled and opens the maps on his phone.

"Are you lost?" Laurence asks from the passenger seat.

He stops and looks up, "Say it, go on, say it."

"No."

He leans close and Laurence leans almost instinctively closer too.

"Baby girl," Tharkay prompts. For a moment, it looks like he will, he takes a deep breath in like he's psyching himself up and Tharkay's eyes round with anticipation.

"No."

Tharkay can't help himself, he kisses him. Soft and sweet. He pulls away, then goes back in for another.

"I'm not saying it, it's stupid."

"Yeh it is... I am lost though"

#the rest is still unwritten #forever incomplete #probably for the best #temeraire #365 days of trash #there is nothing without tenzing #laurence/tharkay #why did i do this to myself #william laurence #tenzing tharkay #tenzilliam

[puckinghell]

Stars and Supernovae | June

Summary: As soon as you meet Tyler Seguin, you know you’re destined to be best friends. Sometimes you wonder if you’re destined to be more, but life keeps getting in the way. Perhaps it’s just not written in the stars? Note: This is Part 3. Part 1, part 2 Extra note: Please let me know if you guys enjoy it, just a simple like is enough, but the last part didn’t do so well and I don’t wanna continue if people don’t like it!

You hadn’t seen Tyler in a while, and to say that you were lonely was an understatement. Your roommate had been so MIA that you were wondering if she was even still living there, and there were only so many phone calls and surprise visits you could make to your parents before they would start to wonder what was wrong. You threw yourself into your studies and your job.

You didn’t blame Tyler for going back to Canada to see his family as soon as the season ended for the Stars. Didn’t blame him, but did miss him. 

He had a little lakeside cottage where he lived during the off season, and he spent his days there fishing and hiking and building up the muscle mass he’d lost. You knew this, because he sent you snapchats all the time, and he texted you often, but it was different, not having him on the couch as you watched your shows, making dinner for one in your own kitchen instead of dinner for two in his, and you had no dogs to cuddle up to, which might be the worst part.

 It made you think about getting a dog for yourself, but you knew you didn’t have enough time, nor were you in a position to take care of a dog financially. So you just kept asking Tyler for pictures of Cash and Marshall, which he happily obliged to, even if he did tease you about never asking for a picture of him. 

You decided to tease him back by asking of a picture of him next time he was at the gym, but that quickly turned on you when he sent you one wearing no shirt, his curls against his sweaty forehead.

Obviously, he was just your friend, one of your best friends, nothing more, but you weren’t blind, and you might’ve had to taken your shower a bit colder that night.

Katie made sure to catch up with you every now and then too, usually over text, but she’d caught on to how often you were alone, and had taken it upon herself to find you some entertainment.

“Come on, it’ll be fun. It’s not a get drunk party, it’s more like, a fancy dinner party. You know Jamie is a great cook. That must entice you a little bit. Pleaseeeee?”

You sighed. “Who is Jamie even throwing this fancy dinner party for? Aren’t all the guys at home?”

“Some of the guys are here in Dallas,” Katie explained, giving you a look as if you should already know this. “And it’s not that many people, so you’ll actually have a chance to chat to everyone. Maybe it’ll distract you from your stupid Tyler crush.”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “I do not have a crush on Tyler,” you hissed, and although you couldn’t see your friend over the phone, you knew she was rolling her eyes.

“Sure, honey. Now, will you come?”

Of course, you couldn’t say no, so that night you showed up to Jamie’s house with a bottle of red wine, probably worth less in its entirety than a single drop of all Jamie’s other wines, but hey, it was the thought that counted, right?

“Hi, Y/N,” Jamie said, giving you a kiss on the cheek as he let you in. “So glad you could come. Katie has been whining about how much she misses you.” You raised an eyebrow. If Katie really missed you, she could just come home, for one night, you wanted to say, but you bit your tongue. Jamie was too nice for your wrath. However, Katie might be getting a few snarky comments her way, tonight.

Jamie took you by the elbow and led you into the living room. “Y/N, these are Spezz, his wife Jenn, that’s Rads, and Bish, and his girlfriend Andrea.” He waved around the room. “Guys, this is Y/N, Seggy’s girl.” You blushed.

“I’m not his girl,” you frowned. “Just his friend.”

“And my friend,” said Katie, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Most importantly, my friend.”

You were a bit intimidated by the beautiful girls in the room; they looked nothing like you, looked like barbie dolls or models just off the runway, with long luscious hair and tiny waists. When Jenn got up, she didn’t even wobble in her ridiculously high heels. It was terrifying to sit next to Andrea on the couch, as Katie went to the kitchen to help Jamie with dinner. Ideally, you’d follow her, but you didn’t want to be rude.

“Hey, I love your jeans,” Andrea said, elbowing your side. “They make your ass look amazing. I wish my butt looked that good.” She sighed, and you wanted to tell her that she literally looked like every man’s perfect girl, but Ben - who you were glad to know was named Ben, because Jamie’s introductions to their hockey nicknames had been useless - spoke quicker.

“Your ass is magnificent, baby,” he said confidently, and Alexander wolf whistled.

“What do you do, Y/N?” Jenn asked, leaning forward with a kind smile, and you nervously started talking about your major, not wanting to mention that you worked as a bartender.

“Oh, so you’re like, super smart,” said Jenn, when you were done explaining what your major entailed. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll translate,” she teased her husband, who faked offense.

It surprised you, how easy it was to fall into comfortable conversation with the people surrounding you. Andrea had a very similar type of humor to you, and Jenn seemed to have decided that you needed someone to take you under their wing, and given herself that task. The food was amazing and the wine flowed and somehow, you found yourself having a great time.

You were almost finished with dessert, when Katie spoke.

“Guys, we actually have a little announcement.” Her face beamed as she talked and she grabbed Jamie’s hand, who sent her a soft little smile. “Jamie and I are moving in together.”

You had just taken a sip of your wine and at her words, swallowed a bit too quickly and the wine made its way to your lungs as you broke out into coughs. Jenn worriedly patted your back, the mom in her coming out, and Andrea shot you a sympathetic look. The boys didn’t even seem to notice, as they yelled out their congratulations, clapped Jamie on the shoulder and simultaneously chirped him loudly and without mercy.

As you finally got back air, a million thoughts came to mind, but there were two that made their way to the front of your brain. First of all, how were you ever going to afford the rent of your apartment alone, and secondly, why hadn’t Katie told you first? You looked at your friend, but she was beaming at Rads, who spoke in broken English as he congratulated her, and she didn’t even notice you.

Of course, you didn’t tell Katie about your worries; that would dull her excitement, and you would never do that to her. Instead, you plastered on your brightest - and fakest - smile, hugged her, and spent the rest of the evening lost in thoughts. Luckily Jenn seemed to get it, and whenever someone spoke to you and you missed it, she would answer for you, taking attention away from you. At the end of the night as you hugged her goodbye, you whispered a quick thank you.

“It’ll work out okay, honey,” she promised you with a kind smile, but as you got into your car, tears were welling up in your eyes. You managed to get home without bursting out into tears, but as you stepped into the hallway, the space empty and quiet, they started spilling down your cheeks.

It wasn’t that big a deal, you knew that, but it still felt like the world was crashing down on you. You were already struggling enough to get by as it was, and now this. There was no way you could keep your apartment, and you didn’t think you’d survive moving back with your parents or moving into student dorms, not after having known what freedom and your own space felt like. And the one person that would make you feel better wasn’t even in the same fucking country as you, and you missed him, damn it.

It wasn’t cold, with it being June in Dallas, but you were wearing only a tank and that wasn’t enough for almost midnight, so you reached into your closet and pulled out the first hoodie you saw. Of course, it was the Stars hoodie that had been included in the box of Stars merch that showed up on your doorstep a few days after your first Stars game. 

There had been a brand new #91 jersey in there - not the #90 jersey you’d asked for, but you hadn’t been serious with that anyway - and a few shirts, hoodies, baseball caps, even a beanie; you didn’t even think they made those. Who wore beanies in the Texas heat?

You pulled the hoodie over your head and moved to your porch, wrapping your arms around yourself. You would allow yourself to feel miserable tonight, and then tomorrow, you would have to find a solution. Just at the thought, your heart sunk into your stomach. You looked up at the stars, but even that couldn’t take your mind off it, and that’s how you knew you were really screwed.

Then, your phone rang. You were expecting it to be Katie, and you were almost tempted not to even reach for it, but then you saw the picture of Tyler with Cash that you had set as his caller ID, and you smiled. Even in another country, he still seemed to feel when you needed him.

“Hey stranger,” you said, smiling at him. “It’s like 1:30 there, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Hey, Shiny,” Tyler smiled back. Facetime blurred his face, but the familiar sight of him still made your heart sting with how much you missed him. The camera was unflatteringly close to his face and yet, he looked great, one arm folded behind his head as he was lying down.

“I’m in bed, but I was still awake. Jamie texted me. You okay?”

You sighed. Of course Jamie had noticed that you weren’t doing so well, and being the good guy he was, had done the only thing he could think of; send Tyler your way.

“Katie is moving in with him,” you said, although Tyler probably already knew. “Which means I’m out of a roommate, and probably have to get rid of the apartment.”

He frowned. “Can’t you just find a new roommate?”

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “But not fast enough. I can’t even afford one month’s rent on my salary, Ty. There’s no way I can find someone right away, and if I can’t find someone right away, then…” You stopped, knowing that your voice would break if you continued. Tyler’s face softened; he knew it, too.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” he cooed. “We’ll find a solution. Together, okay? You’re not on your own here.”

At his words, tears sprung to your eyes. He mightn’t have known it, but that was what your entire mental breakdown was about; it felt like you were losing Katie to Jamie, and Tyler wasn’t here, and your family was busy with their own lives, and you felt like you were the only one who didn’t have anyone. The only one that only had herself to lean on.

“I miss you,” you sniffed, the words tumbling over your lips before you’d even thought about if it was a good idea to say them. What if it was too clingy for him, what if he thought it was weird? You were just friends, after all.

“I miss you too,” Tyler said, and your heart leaped. “It turns out murder is a lot less interesting without you there to overanalyze everything. The pups miss you too.” He grinned. “Hey, if you have to move out, you can just move in with me.”

“Your couch is not that comfortable,” you mumbled.

“I didn’t say anything about a couch,” he teased. “The dogs sleep on the couch. You can sleep on their dog beds. If you push them together, you might fit your entire upper body on there.”

Despite everything, you laughed. “Shut up.”

“Or…” he continued, pausing, “you could just sleep in my bed with me. I’m serious, Y/N. You’re not going to end up on the street or back at your parents’ house. We’ll figure something out, okay?”

Warmth washed over you at his words, and you nodded.

“You couldn’t have the dog beds anyway.” Tyler was smirking now. “Cause I think Gerry will want them.”

Now, you were confused. “Gerry?” Tyler moved his phone and the screen went so blurry you couldn’t see anything, but then it cleared up and you were met with the smallest dog face ever. The little yellow Labrador pup lifted its head and stared into the phone camera as if he knew you were watching him, and you gasped.

“Tyler!”

“I was going to surprise you with him in the morning,” said Tyler, a hint of pride in his voice, “but I figured you could use it now. This is the newest member of the Seguin clan, Gerry. I had to complete the colour trifecta, you know.”

“You got a hat trick of Labradors,” you squealed. “Oh my god, Ty, he’s so cute!” Then, you wrinkled your nose. “I can’t believe you called him Gerry. That’s such an old man name.”

“I know,” Tyler giggled. “That’s why it’s so funny.”

You asked Tyler a million questions about Gerry, mostly whether or not you could take care of him when he went on roadies next season, and he promised you could, as long as you took Cash and Marshall too - as if you would’ve left them behind - and it was half an hour later when you started yawning.

“Go to sleep, Shiny,” Tyler told you softly. “Call me tomorrow so we can talk about your apartment situation, okay?”

“Okay,” you hummed. “Thanks, Ty.”

“Anytime.” He paused. “We’re gonna be fine, you know? Me and you and the dogs. We’ll make it work.”

And despite everything, you believed him.

#tyler seguin #dallas stars #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin one shot #tyler seguin fic #nhl fic #hockey fic #nhl imagines #nhl one shot #hockey imagine #hockey one shot #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars one shot

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 312

Ok so I *really* like half of this episode, and then I really don’t give a single fuck about the other half. But! It manages to jump around enough that the parts I don’t give a fuck about never reach the point where I’m annoyed that I’m still watching them. Which like, is the best case scenario for an episode dealing with a storyline I’m not partial to?

The squad is finally actively trying to find Young Ian, you know, the actual main goal of the back half of the season! But it also feels a bit like they threw all of the plot confetti they needed to into it in order to set up the finale after spending so long on side-quests. There are some great scenes but there is also some batshit insanity. This was the first time in a while that I didn’t check to see how much time was left in the episode. So that’s a bonus.

I personally give zero fucks about the prophecy stuff, but since that’s a massive part of the end of the book, and the show has always stuck maybe a little too closely to the source material, it’s not like I was surprised that a lot of the episode was dedicated to that. And since this episode yet again feels like something completely different from the previous ones, most of my feelings and reactions to it are yet again based on it as a standalone thing and not as part of the season as a whole. (I’m finding more and more as the season goes on that while I have really enjoyed some individual episodes or scenes, if I look at the season as a whole, I’m left feeling sad about missed potential and what might have been if they had made different choices along the way.) So yeah, personally I was like 50/50 really enjoying the episode vs. rolling my eyes at its complete ridiculousness. Which, compared to how I’ve felt about other eps, is pretty solid.

I love that Young Ian keeps fighting on the Bruja and doesn’t give in to the fear he must be feeling. Like if he’s going down, he’s going down swinging and I really do like that wee goober.

Of course Geillis takes literal blood baths. Fucking of course she does.

This whole part is absurd. But like I guess that’s the point? Geillis is fucking nuts. (It does make me roll my eyes a bit that they keep being like “we don’t do gratuitous nudity” while literally having a lady walk around naked and then doing long shots of her showering. Not complaining, just observing.)

DON’T EAT THE CAKE, YOUNG IAN! THIS LADY LITERALLY JUST TOOK A BATH IN ACTUAL BLOOD! SHE’S CLEARLY FUCKING INSANE! DON’T EAT THE THINGS!

NOOO, NOT THE TEA! LOOK AT YOUR REACTION TO THE TEA! THERE IS CLEARLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE TEA! STOP DRINKING THE TEA!

Ok, let’s just remember Young Ian’s reaction to being drugged without his knowledge and sharing things he doesn’t want to share. He’s clearly not ok with it. Just keep that in mind for a second...

Geillis is so fucking creepy. Like Lotte Verbeek is so fucking good at pretending to be the creepiest motherfucker ever.

Aaand then the show decided that it was a good idea to have yet another child get raped. This is, what, the third time? Mary, Fergus and now Young Ian? There is no plot-relevant reason to keep this in the show. But they did. Because of course they did. If a girl gets roofied and sleeps with a guy, we call it rape. Because you can’t consent when you’ve been drugged. They’re *literally* called date rape drugs. So here we have a kid getting basically roofied and then it’s implied Geillis sleeps with him. It doesn’t matter if he seems into it. Saying what happens to Young Ian isn’t rape, in my opinion, is the same as saying a girl who gets roofied and taken advantage of wasn’t raped. This, to me, is a rape and I’m *rull* pissed and disappointed, but not at all surprised, that the show decided to include it. (Yes, I know it’s in the book. It was one of the things that I was hoping they’d cut. But given this show’s track record, that was clearly a naive hope to have.)

< / rant >

Ok Claire has that whole trunk of clothes on the ship. Why is she still wearing the same outfit? Seriously, I get that the production is like weirdly attached to that blue dress, but at some point the woman should be allowed to change her clothes. Especially since last week she was like bleeding all over her sleeve and she’s basically been wearing the same outfit for months. Like no fresh dress to go ashore in? Really? I mean, who cares. It’s not anything to like actually get worked up about, it’s just silly to me.

Although, good riddance to the bumroll. I like the outfit much better without it, tbh.

Claire immediately closing the parasol when it’s pointed out that it makes her seem respectable makes me smile. Especially after drunkenly asserting that she *was indeed* respectable last week.

The episode does a decent job of setting up Geillis, though. With the Rose Hall “RH” brand on the enslaved woman Claire sees and the mention of Mrs. Abernathy from a rando in the crowd.

The whole slave market sequence makes me angry and uncomfortable and that’s exactly how I’m supposed to be feeling. It’s clear that’s how Claire feels too. Plus an added dose of helplessness because there’s literally nothing she can do.

And I’m not at all surprised it’s seeing a man being sexually assaulted that makes her snap. With all of the times Claire herself has been assaulted and knowing what Jamie went through at Wentworth, it makes perfect sense for her to manage to hold it together despite her strong feelings, but then to lose it when she sees a man being dehumanized even further in that particular way.

Um, why the fuck did Jamie use Claire’s name instead of his own on the paperwork for Temeraire? She clearly had such a visceral reaction to the situation and he was like well you wanted me to fix it, so I bought a human...in *your* name. It’s really not a big deal. I think it just bugs me a little due to residual Jamie-annoyance from the episodes where I wanted to punch him in the face.

I *am* here for Jamie being immediately on board from the start with needing to get Temeraire somewhere he can live safely. As someone who has been a prisoner in one form or another for so much of his life, it would be out of character for Jamie to respond in any other way.

I like that Jamie and Claire make it clear to Temeraire that his freedom doesn’t hinge on his cooperation in helping them find Young Ian. They tell him he’ll be free as soon as possible regardless, and I’m very glad they make that explicit. Because again, it’d be out of character for them to do anything else. This is, however, kind of becoming a generic white guilt/white savior story. Like they can’t solve slavery but look at how they’re helping this one guy. But honestly, considering there’s like no time in the episode to devote to this particular storyline, this is about as unproblematic as it could get.

Aaand on to the prophecy stuff. It’s all well acted and stuff, I just have no interest whatsoever in this part of the plot.

Although Geillis’ sassy “bitch please” fan flick when Archibald says something is pretty great.

The whole time at the party I was like scared Claire’s hair was going to fall over to the side. Like you can do it, hair, defy the laws of physics! Don’t fall down! I believe in you!

Marsali calling Jamie a dandy is my everything. I really like Marsali, you guys.

Yi Tien Cho’s shade at Frenchmen is also my everything. Yi Tien Cho in general in this episode (and this season) is my everything.

Seriously, his face at Jamie telling him he’s there to be a distraction. Like aw *hell* no. I feel you, dude. It’s fucked up.

Ok the “Ye look as ‘twas yesterday.” line about Claire looking like she did at Versailles is a bit of on-the-nose meta commentary about how they don’t look like they’ve aged that works because it’s a super sweet thing to say regardless of how she actually looks. But Mr. Campbell’s line about “What chance that we end up on the same island, eh?” is up there with The Replacements’ lines last week about Claire randomly showing up in the weirdest places. Like we get it, there are a fuckton of convenient coincidences in the show. No need to point them all out.

The sadness and sympathy on Claire’s face as she sees all of the enslaved men around the room is perfect, as is Jamie’s picking up on it and asking when it will end. But his being in tune with just how much seeing enslaved people affects her again makes me wonder why he put her name on the certificate of sale. (Whatevs, it’s really fine. I don’t like hate Jamie for it.)

Ok so Jamie only calls Yi Tien Cho by his name when he’s making YTC play the part of the Exotic Other. Claire calls him by his name all the time because it’s his name. I do judge Jamie a little for this. When Jamie decided to rename Claudel to Fergus, it was a tad presumptuous, but Fergus embraced it and was on board. Mr. Willoughby was never a name that Yi Tien Cho embraced so calling him that seems a tad disrespectful, regardless whatever Scottish word his actual name sounds like.

Also, Claire’s face when the girl calls him Mr. Cho made me wonder if it was ever made clear what YTC’s family name vs. personal name is. Isn’t it custom for family names to be said first? So he’d actually be Mr. Yi? Is that what Claire’s face is in reaction to, or just the girl being absurd and racist about meeting YTC? Serious question, I can’t recall if this was ever addressed in the book...

Regardless, Yi Tien Cho has more patience and tolerance for bullshit than my privileged white ass could ever hope to have.

Giving him a storyline with Margaret is also infinitely better than the foot fetish bullshit from the book. But again, no brownie points for fixing the obvious problems, show.

Oh man, the look between Jamie and Claire. All the love and lust, and sadness and regret about losing so much time, and thinking of what might have been and what is still to come now that they’re together again. Just all the fucking feels. Their faces are good at emoting, guys.

Still a bit salty that Claire never got to really make Jamie see what the separation was like for her and that Jamie was so easily let off the hook for his behavior and that we had to headcanon most of their reconciliation but I’m tired of being salty, sooo whatever. *pours one out for what could have been*

Lord John’s happy puppy face when he sees Jamie is adorable.

I need Lord John and Chris Traeger to be best friends and like go on happy, optimistic adventures together.

“I thought she’d died too, but she returned to me.” “My god. But how”? “It’s a long story. I’ll send you the BluRay in a couple months. It’ll catch you right up.”

I know the party wigs are intentionally bad because they’re supposed to be wigs of the time period as opposed to the dead animal that’s been living on Jamie’s head all season, but Geillis’ wig is a special kind of ridiculous. (Also why is she randomly blonde now? Like whatever, who cares, but it’s a random change to make. Unless it was literally because the actress didn’t feel like dying her hair or something, haha.) (ETA -- It’s probs how they chose to show she’d aged. I’m an idiot.)

The scene with Jamie, Claire and LJG in the side room is perfect and awkward and I want to give them all a hug. Like look at all of their faces. LJG is like omg I heart you. I am full of feels about how I heart you. And Jamie is like omg thanks for raising my kid. I am full of feels about my kid. *writes and deletes a broken record rant about how it would have been nice to see him show this much emotion even fucking once about his other kid* And Claire’s like pulling double duty on the feels like oh man it’s so sad that Jamie doesn’t get to raise his son but it’s great he has someone to talk to about him and maybe just a bit of jealousy over Jamie getting to be part of Willie’s life for a bit but not Bree’s, and then also like yooo this dude is in love with my husband. I am so full of feels about how this dude is like pining over my husband. You’d better stay in your lane, dude.

TL;DR: Their faces. They’re good at emoting.

This episode does kind of cross over into the gay-guy-in-love-with-his-straight-best-friend trope area a bit. Part of why I liked show!LJG so much in episodes 303 and 304 was because while it was clear he liked Jamie, that wasn’t his primary feature. In this episode, it is. And while I’m here for Claire to notice that he cares for Jamie in a way that’s more than just buddies, it’s a tad too heavy handed with the heart eyes for me. Especially when he keeps telling a romanticized version of the sapphire story.

Like, it sucks to the max that Lord John can’t live honestly, but it seems that a guy who has been given shitty posts because of the rumors about him would be more subtle? The gay-guy-pining trope isn’t that interesting to me and part of why I don’t like book!LJG as much as most people. I know I’m probs in the minority here... I *am* still enjoying show!LJG much more than book!LJG though, and (to me) the genuine friendship between him and Jamie plays better here than in the book too. Like when they’re sitting at the table just catching up. I’m so here for their bromance, just not the pining.

I do love that Jamie calls Young Ian “our nephew” in the scene though, instead of “his nephew.”

If Yi Tien Cho and Margaret don’t run away together in the finale, I’m going to be sad. They win the prize for most surprising ship of the season. But I am On. Board. They each just want to be seen for who they are. Not just as an Other.

Love the convo between Claire and Lord John. And that it seems like he knows (or at least assumes) she knows about him and what he feels for Jamie because he knows Jamie tells her pretty much everything.

I also love Claire’s emphatic “I have.” to Lord John when he notes how she has returned. She’s Jamie’s wife and she is the only person who he loves in the way John wishes Jamie would love him. Like, she finally has Jamie back and she’ll get territorial with anyone who might presume to have a claim on him in a romantic sense. I honestly think that Claire being like this isn’t due to Lord John being a dude so much as just that he’s a human who has feelings for Jamie and at this point, regardless of the person’s gender, she’d start peeing circles around Jamie if *anyone* tried to make a move on her dude. Especially after 20 years with a guy she didn’t love. She did the opposite of pee circles around Frank. She let him do whoever whatever he wanted. He wasn’t worth fighting for. Jamie is. So I am *here* for Claire being a bit possessive. It’s the first time in a long time she’s had someone in her life worth staking a claim on.

I liked the convo with Claire and Geillis until like halfway through when I was like oh shit, wait, CLAIRE, GIRL, REMEMBER THAT SHE’S FUCKING CRAZY AND HAS STRAIGHT UP MURDERED THREE OF HER HUSBANDS AND RAPES BOYS AND KILLS THEM FOR HER BATHS AND HAS YOUNG IAN! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

“Why are men such fools?” You’re batshit crazy, Geillis, but you raise a good question.

Of course Geillis went to her own execution. I’d be disappointed in her if she hadn’t.

Ok but Geillis knows how Dougal really died, right? And she’s going to like bring it up with Jamie and Claire next week as something she’s butthurt about, right? It’s come up twice in the episode and I can’t tell if that’s because it’s going to be a thing or if she’s just talking...

Aaand now we get to the pure ridiculousness that I kind of just don’t pay attention to because I can’t even with this storyline.

Also, you’re really just going to grab at the governor’s crotch, Geillis? This lady has more red flags than a Chinese airport.

I get it’s a story that involves time travel, but apparently I draw the line at prophecies.

“A 200 year old baby? Do ye think I’m an idiot.” Geillis, who do you know that could maybe have traveled 200 years between getting knocked up and having a baby? Think about it for a hot second. The riddle is obvious af for us, the audience, but like even for Geillis it shouldn’t take that much to get to the answer. Sure she doesn’t know at the moment that Claire was pregnant and DeLorean’ed her way Back to the Future, had a baby, and then came back again, but she knows Claire’s a time traveler. They literally *just* talked about it. Whatevs. I’m guessing she’ll find the pictures of Bree next week like in the book and put it together so Claire has to murder her to stop her from going to kill Bree with the bloody machete from the promo clips and then she’ll be the skeleton in Joe’s office who was beheaded with a dull blade, which I still don’t think was important enough to include but whatevs, some folks love it and that’s fine too.

How convenient that the escaped slaves live near Rose Hall. But I am so here for Temeraire being like nope, not later, I’m going to be free now, here, goodbye.

For as problematic as the pictures have been for me this season, I do love that Jamie’s first thought when about to be arrested is protecting the pictures of Bree and Willie.

I do not love that we end on another cliffhanger.

*starts singing One Week More to self to the tune of Les Mis*

#* #drunj!der yells about outlander #outlander starz #outlander 3x12