#but like if dust read fics of himself he'd probably feel weird

[liliallowed]

@asterclaw

that's mainly what I work with actually...

on different toxic levels. I personally see dust and player as queer platonic or like, idk. bad buddies. not really friends not really enemies, but they get it. a sense of understanding.

tw psychological manipulation

tw abusive relationships

behold the levels of worse I can make this ship:

level1: (frenemy dynamic):

they're frenemies. dust doesn't really LIKE them but appreciates their dedication to at least own up to their choices and face this regret instead of resetting. he also hates them for it because they're depriving him of seeing his brother again. both hate them and KIND of care.

they do change, but not in a way that feels disingenuous. they're still here to fight him. but not as an enemy. just as a playmate or rival. they don't need his mercy or forgiveness. just his company. redefining boundaries and the dynamic itself to just sparring.

you wanna get stronger to face me? fight for it! oh shit-are you ok? do you need healing items dude? hold on I'll get something.

but they never actually hurt him. baby steps. they do care. they just want to earn the chance. they'll wait for him to give them the chance. they don't want to force anything on him anymore.

level2(letting go):

realistically this would be one of the best actions to do in abusive relationships no matter how hard it is to rip the band-aid off or go against your attachment issues. they leave cuz they don't wanna hurt him.

but then that'll leave him all alone in the underground.

level 3 (feigning ignorance):

the angst levels jump on this one. the whole taking accountability thing kinda drops to zero here with the player self deleting the memory of their in world image, letting sans struggle with killing a person who doesn't remember anything they did. is that person even the same? our choices make up who we are but if one never made those choices or didn't remember would that even be the same?

or maybe a different vessel. a different account. a different identity. you're a petty liar =)

a cheap way out but it has a 60 percent chance of working. a tiny bit manipulative.

level 4 (twisted mind):

he's a fictional character why bother humoring his whims? you'll just alter his preferences and rebuild him from scratch. one that doesn't hate you. one that'd like you.

maybe live a double life? kill one and then cuddle with the other who remembers nothing. self indulgence can be nice when you don't treat the people as people and more like objects.

if it fails? try again. again and again till one attempt works.

this is where player would start becoming kinda irredeemable... and a manipulative control freak.

level 5 (oh shit):

this one's worse than all of them. you don't even bother making him like you back and just force everything you want. consent? he's a FICTIONAL character for god's sake, why even ask when you can just take what's yours?

he's just an object of entertainment to you.

this one might be actually triggering cuz some real people are just this disgusting too.

it's just different levels of apathy.

he's more likely to be more open to player the more genuine their actions are. if you wanna talk to him on HIS level? he might give you a shot. if not? you'll either accept that rejection or take it with a undeserved circumference.

#player x sans #dusttale sansanomoly #fanon dust on a meta sense would be level 3 btw #joking JOKING! i just take fics to seriously lol #but like if dust read fics of himself he'd probably feel weird #he's my bbg #slight unreality?

[dorics]

cashmere fic!! and we must be killers!!! two for one 💗

the cashmere fic is just some more cashmere pov stuff i wanted to write after i finished my main cashmere fic! i didn't really have a plan for it, which is obvious bc there's only one scene in the doc (cashmere and the other d1 victors hanging out at a victor bar).

we must be killers is my old guard thg au, which i started writing because andy and booker give me the most jaded two victor energy (specifically lyme and brutus energy) and idr why i stopped writing it, but i made lykon andy's mentor, which is a weird choice bc he definitely feels younger than her? i do not remember why i did that at ALL) so i probably won't go back to it without severe revisions. but anyway the premise was andy goes back to mentoring for one last time to mentor nile.

since this is one ask i'm only putting one snippet <3 anyway here's andy and joe in we must be killers in which i use comics lore with wild abandon despite never having read the comics

joe avoids her gaze for a moment, before meeting her eye. “nicky’s mentoring this year, and...”

andy presses her fingers to her temple. “and you're afraid that your tribute will kill his?” she’s not nearly drunk enough for this conversation. honestly, this was the reason she should’ve never taken a tribute this year. there was nothing keeping her semi-sober, not before. booker’s eight years out from his own victory, he can handle himself well the fuck enough by now, and if she didn’t have nile, she’d be drunk enough that she couldn’t feel a thing.

“yes.”

“shit.” there’s a long silence as joe stares down at his own drink in what looks like abject misery. “so, i suppose this isn’t the time to tell you i’m mentoring this year, too?”

he looks at her, his eyebrows furrowed. “but... you said...” he trails off, gesturing vaguely with his hands. she'd told him she was done with mentoring, because, well. she thought she had been. 

andy sighs. “listen, i know what i said. but lykon asked me to, so...”

“ah.” joe’s reply tells her enough. he knows, then. knows why she’s done it. he doesn’t blame her for this. he can’t. he knows why. even though his mentor passed a couple years back, from some kind of latent head injury from her games that caused a stroke, he knows. if she was still around and asked him to take a tribute, he would.

joe claimed the crown the first year andy tried to mentor. she’d only been out of the arena for a couple of years, but she’d felt useless just sitting by and watching two’s tributes die, and she’d picked him. achilles — he'd been quarry, like nile and lykon, and she’d had such high hopes for him. 

but instead, she'd watched as joe had clawed his way through the arena and grasped the crown with bloody fingers, his scimitar slicing through the other tributes as though they were nothing more than air and dust and not bone and marrow. and there's still something so kind and soft behind his eyes that she can't even hate him for killing her boy. not that she doesn't wish she could. 

joe's soft in a way victors aren't meant to be. she's not sure if it's because of nicky or just because of who joe is, but she envies him. she envies the part of him that he got to keep and she had to cauterize off, like a wound gone rotten. 

“joe, i’m sorry,” andy murmurs, and she is. she really is. 

he smiles at her, the lines around his eyes crinkling. “i know, andy.”

there's a long beat before either of them speaks again.

#fic tag #ask tag #wip ask game

[demigodemery]

Don’t leave us

For anyone who read the last fic I posted on here, ‘Star Smile’, I wanted to say that that was a preview of what I primarily write now: BakuKami, fluff, with progressively lighter angst. Now I’ll be posting in order of how I wrote them, which means, primarily, a lot of angst, tho I think this is the darkest, like two or three KiriBakuKami ones, and some fluff. Anyway, enjoy!

TW: Suicide attempt, blood, probably medical inaccuracies (when it comes to blood loss) because I'm dumb and don't do research.

~~~~~

Kirishima, Bakugou, and Kaminari had been dating for nearly half a year, it was going pretty well, most people at UA excepted them and they only got a few weird looks and harsh comments when they went out.

They loved each other with all their heart's, and would do anything to protect each other, they were happy, or at least Kirishima and Bakugou were.

Kaminari loved his boyfriends so much, but he couldn't help but think they didn't really feel the same way. Kaminari didn't really mean to pull away at first, his insecurities just got the better of him, but neither of his boyfriends seemed to notice, or care, that he was.

He saw the two of them together and he couldn't help but think they looked happier then they ever had when he was around.

Dark thoughts plagued Kaminari's mind, telling him Kirishima and Bakugou never actually loved him that they were much happier and better off without him.

So he continued to pull away, making up excuses for why he couldn't hangout with them. He knew he was spiralling, his thoughts becoming darker as he fell into depression, he knew he should probably talk to someone about what was going on in his head, but couldn't help but think they wouldn't care, and even if they did, he didn't want to bother anyone with his problems.

One night Kaminari couldn't sleep, he couldn't get his mind to shut up, he just wanted it to shut up, usually at times like this he would just simply fry his brain to get the thoughts to stop, but that was such a temperary solution, he wanted them to stop for longer then just an hour, he wanted everything to stop, permanently.

So he grabbed a razer blade and bottle of sleeping pills from his nightstand and locked himself in his bathroom. He stared at the pill bottle for a moment, considering whether or not he really wanted to do this, in the end he decided he did and began swallowing the pills. When all the pills were gone he picked up the razer and brought it to his wrist, he stopped when a thought floated through his mind, he should text Kirishima and Bakugou to say goodbye.

He dropped the razer, and picked up his phone, opening the group chat he hadn't used in a month, texting a simple 'I'm sorry' before turning off his phone and resuming what he was doing.

~

Kirishima and Bakugou had known something was wrong with Kaminari for a while now, even before he'd begun to pull away from them. They were worried but neither one said anything out of fear of him pulling away even more, they regretted it now.

They were both in their respective rooms when they got a notification from the group chat Kirishima had created for them when they first started hanging out together. Kirishima texted back, 'For what?' 'Denki?' 'Denki, plz answer' when he got no reply he got up and ran out of his room and down the hall to Kaminari's room, Bakugou was already there when he arrived.

    "Sparky, open the door! Open the door or I'll break it down!" He threatened.

Kirishima showed Bakugou his phone where the group chat was still up, "He hasn't even seen my texts, we need to get in there, now!" He told him.

Bakugou told him to stand back while he blew the door off it's hinges with his quirk. The room was even more of a mess then usual but otherwise empty, both boys turned to the bathroom door, Bakugou quickly tried the knob only to discover it was locked, this time he didn't even bother calling out, he just blew up the door. It took a moment for the dust to settle, but when it did they both gasped at the sight, Kaminari lay fully clothed in the bathtub, both wrists slit and there was an empty pill bottle on the floor along with his phone.

Bakugou rushed forward, pulling his boyfriend out of the bathtub and cradling him close to his chest, "no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" He mumbled, holding him tight as tears began to escape his eye's. Then he felt breath against his neck, "Eijirou, he's alive!" Bakugou said, looking up at the other boy, only to see him on the ground, tears streaming down his face. "Eijirou! Eijirou!" the red head looked up, meeting Bakugou's eyes, "he's alive, I need your help." Kirishima nodded.

Quickly the two wrapped hand towels tightly around Kaminari's wrists in attempt to stop the bleeding, then they ran, Bakugou carrying Kaminari, all the way to Recovery Girl's office in the main building, ignoring their friends questions when they ran through the common room.

Recovery Girl was able to heal Kaminari but he had lost a lot of blood so he didn't wake up for a few days. When he did wake up the three boys had a long conversation about what had happened, the rest of class 1-A came to visit too, almost everyone cried. After he was released from the infirmary Kaminari went into therapy, which actually helped a lot.

Two months after his attempted suicide, Kaminari lay in bed between his two boyfriends, glad they'd found him. He shivered a bit and cuddled closer to Bagugou, who held him closer in return. He loved his boyfiends, and he now knew for certain that they loved him just at much.

~~~~~

I didn't really edit this, despite the fact it probably needs it, why are all of 1-A plus Recovery-Girl up at what we can only assume to be the middle of the night? Idk

Written: 1-31-2021

Posted: 10-23-2021

Word count: 915

#kiribakukami #angst #tw suicide #tw overdose #tw blood #my hero academia fanfiction #bakugo katsuki #denki kaminari #kirishima eijirou #recovery girl #class 1a #crosspost #crossposted to ao3 #crossposted to wattpad