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#but thinking abt how even without the death note he is still a self-serving person with the ' its ok if i do it for the greater good' compl
xhatake · 1 year
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thinking about how light ya.gami reflects the worst in us which makes me rabies
#ooc.#i am making the blog tho i take forever to make blogs / establish new muses#but thinking abt how even without the death note he is still a self-serving person with the ' its ok if i do it for the greater good' compl#because he would have become a detective for the same reason#as L#because he lieks to win#he likes to do what he defines as ' good ' & be good at it#regardless as the context so long as he's held in that light of supreriority#then these parts of him are just amplified tenfold when he's given access to a power that renders him untouchable as far as he is concerned#i will keep thinking about this#i cannot stop#something that is so important tho is that all of this is in reference to his overexaggerated impression of what he's capable of#he becomes so lost in his power that he thinks he's untouchable which is ultimately his downfall#he could of kept doing what he was doing if he didn't get cocky after l's death#it wouldnt have been easy& i have no doubt that near & mello would have taken him down regardless eventually but if he exercised#the same caution he did in his rise to power he could have at least kept the facade up for longer#i have so many thoughts#tomorrow i am gonna embark on refamiliarizing myself with the series i do not know death note as well as i know naruto i love it but#naruto i watch obsessively#the last time i watched the entirety of death note i was deep in a two day acid trip#& i kept rewatching the episode where l died & crying because it was beautiful aesthetically and just a really good climax for the series#in my humble opinion#i am also obsessed with l but i think i would rip my skull in half if i ever tried to write him#love him dont get me wrong & it would be sooo interesting#but his self importance is in a different perspective that is not as easy for me to dip into
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kairoth · 6 years
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Could you do all of the questions?
heyhey! yea! done on my laptop :>
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?♥ usually more milk but then i try to fix the ratio and it ends up being more cereal asfh
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?♥ eehhh sometimes
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?♥ mostly just pieces of paper lol
4: how do you take your coffee/tea?♥ with LOTS of sugar
5: are you self-conscious of your smile?♥ yes. it's gross
6: do you keep plants?♥ yea!
7: do you name your plants?♥ ofc i do
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?♥ music mainly. like you'll know my mood by knowing what song i listen to
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?♥ ye ~
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?♥ my side usually but i move a lot in my sleep
11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?♥ bongwater,,
12: what’s your favorite planet?♥ saturn! and pluto,,, and jupiter ahh
13: what’s something that made you smile today?♥ thinking about puppies !!!!!!
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?♥ idk? messy
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!♥ apparently you get taller in space
16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?♥ this is boring of me but i like plain ol' pasta with butter and salt the most
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?♥ white with purple ombre !
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.♥ HHH when i was 6 months old i ate a spider and anyone who knows about it never lets me live it down
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?♥ i try to keep em and write in em but i often forget
20: what’s your favorite eye color?♥ mmm i can't choose, they're all great !
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.♥ oof my batman backpack that i gave to my dad. that thing went through A LOT. my new one is really good too tho. it's just red and black but it's served me well.
22: are you a morning person?♥ depends on if i've gotten a good night's sleep and if i'm particularly excited for the day!
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?♥ sleep, listen to music, read
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?♥ yea. we don't talk anymore tho. i miss him
25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?♥ nowhere? i've never broken in before
26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?♥ i always wear my vans til they fall apart. my current pair are space themed bc ofc
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?♥ juicyfruit ig?
28: sunrise or sunset?♥ sunset
29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?♥ ASFH UHM idk?? them just being themselves is enough for me to smile over them
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?♥ yes
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.♥ i wear mismatched socks all the time but like they do match each other somewhat. like. i have a bunch of stitch socks and i don't wear their match but i'll wear another stitch sock with it.
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.♥ uhh me and two friends played never have i ever over kik once and long story short we learned a lot abt each other. some things we never wanted to know
33: what’s your fave pastry?♥ idk! i like danish pastries pretty well tho
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?♥ teddy!! i got him when i was 5 from my cousin for like a nickel. he's just a standard lil brown teddy bear. and ofc i still have him asdgh can't sleep without him. i even bring him to sleepovers
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?♥ yea! i use them when i can
36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?♥ EDEN. and crywank generally fits me too
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?♥ i like it to be clean but often it just gets cluttered and i don't have the motivation to clean it
38: tell us about your pet peeves!♥ uhhh i hate rude, arrogant, judgemental people, disloyalty, uhm, the sound that weird plastic makes, uhhh idk
39: what color do you wear the most?♥ mostly black and white
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?♥ my solar system bracelet! i saw the post for it on tumblr and sent it to my mum, and she ended up getting it for me for christmas!
41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?♥ we were liars by e. lockhart. if i had to choose a fave it'd be that one. i sobbed for days after reading it. i think it kinda did smthn to my soul
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!♥ i do not sadly :
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?♥ my mum, i think ?
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?♥ oof, when harley was still here. it was a nice day, the sun was shining through my window, birds singing, EDEN playing softly, and harley was all cuddled up on my chest with his head tucked under my chin, purring away.
45: do you trust your instincts a lot?♥ depends. i try to evenly listen to my instincts and to logic
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.♥ my friend used to make a lot of bone puns bc of undertale and sans and one of my faves is "wasn't that HUMERUS"
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?♥ SEAFOOD it's grrrrrrrrrrroooooooosssss
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?♥ death. and yes.
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?♥ haven't bought many of those, i mostly listen to spotify :0 i did get the vinyl of black parade that mcr was giving out for the anniversary !
50: what’s an odd thing you collect?♥ crystals ig? pokemon cards, pens, books. uhh. i have a lot of paper and notebooks lmao
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?♥ mm. good times by all time low.
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?♥ uhh idk i like all of em
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?♥ heathers is epic and i love christian slater but also his voice is hilarious, beetlejuice was good and amazingly weird, and i've no seen the other two yet.
54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?♥ HHH. the other day my mum's friend was talking abt how she's having problems with renters and she looked like she was gonna cry but it was more frustration than anything so idk?
55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?♥ man idk it's prob somethin big but i don't remember
56: what are some things you find endearing in people?♥ ? idk. it depends ig?? like for my one friend i love that he loves animals, for my other i love that she loves music. for one i love her kindness and outward innocence and i find it hilarious when she actually shows her angry or sassy side.
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?♥ god i love bohemian rhapsody. so good. so catchy. the best. me and my former bff used to sing it all the time
58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?♥ mmmm idk :0
59: what’s your favorite myth?♥ i love myths abt creatures! my faves are about the fae folk.
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?♥ idk :0
61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?♥ uhh just a basic gift card ig. and uhm idk?
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?♥ mm if i have juice i'll drink it!
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?♥ i try to keep them organized
64: what color is the sky where you are right now?♥ it's getting late and it's kinda cloudy and grey
65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?♥ yeaa.
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?♥ mmm idk! maybe lots of purple and light blues? :0
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?♥ bad. i've always been nervous with storms and whatnot and those kinda days just make me jittery.
68: what’s winter like where you live?♥ well for a while it actually is winter and gets cold. but it's florida so ofc it goes back to being hot af.
69: what are your favorite board games?♥ i've always been fond of sorry sliders and candy land
70: have you ever used a ouija board?♥ NO AND I NEVER WILL. my mum and aunts did once and HHHHHHHH they ended up with a possessed barney doll
71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?♥ earl grey ! i really wanna try lavender tea tho
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?♥ yea but i don't often actually do it
73: what are some of your worst habits?♥ i sleep and procrastinate too much but i'm trying, i pick at threads a lot hhh,
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.♥ ok uhh. they remind me of a canary bird. i associate them with yellow and pink. they're super sweet. always helpful. sad and i wish i could help them more. all in all a v good friend and v good person.
75: tell us about your pets!♥ OOF OK GET READY. syd: sydney, my man. the big orange floof. meathead. he likes to stand up and hold onto your shirt or pants and it's cute but also CLAWS. v smart, knows that if he annoys me enough i'll open my door for him. maggie: pretty pretty princess. also the grossest princess. beaut white, brown capped fur and green gold eyes and cutest lil meows. bean: has two thumbs, one is teensy tiny. meows are like inaudible. usually grumpy and will run if you pet her. only accepts affection when she's sleepy. sebastian: the real grumpy cat. russian blue boy. has a hard time jumping correctly now cos he's old. always talking and complaining. likes pets. will fight you. ash: scaredy boi. dark as night. murrs instead of meows bc he wasn't raised by other cats. rarely purrs but you know he loves you. likes head bumps. will scratch you if you're not paying attention to him. can be a bully. arrow: FAT. has scabs bc he keeps scratching himself,, why boi why (we think he's allergic to smthn). meows LOUDLY. eats everyone's food. likes to go outside. once got stuck in the same tree twice. shelby: old girl. jack russel. super hyper but also LAZY. only sleeps under blankets. gets jealous. will force her way onto your lap. the smelliest dog in existence i swear. emmy: chihuahua. grumpyyyy old lady. always telling people to shut up (mostly shelby). cute tho. has seizures sometimes. will purposefully use the bathroom on the floor where you'll step or on something of yours if you upset her. moriarty: my snek! good boy. likes to be under his paper towels. smol. has a cute face. percy: GRUMPY leopard gecko. she's a blizzard morph and she looks purple. so grumpy aaaaaaaaah. red: my betta girl. the other girls with her (blue and esme) died. she comes up to the glass to say hi to you. oscar the grouch: hedgehog. SO GRUMP. he literally turned his entire house around so you can't see him. rude. lillith, yuki, and star: ferrets. inseperable. good little catsnakes who i love. yuki has a thing for feet and shoes. star messes with the dogs/cats by nipping them. lillith is good but bites a bit hard. the chickens: we named them after the avengers. cap can die. literally she hates me and my mum she tries to fight us. RUDE.
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?♥ yes. schoolwork
77: pink or yellow lemonade?♥ i like both !
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?♥ uhh hate club ig? idrk?????
79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?♥ mmmMM my former bff used to be very supportive of my clinginess and she would be talking and i could just like hold my hands out to her or hug her and she'd be totally ok with it and not even pause talking. the best thing ever tbh
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?♥ two walls are light grey and the other two are a slightly darker grey! i chose it :> i wanted a good neutral color besides beige or white.
81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.♥ mmm. like the sun shining through the branches of the trees.
82: are/were you good in school?♥ i mean?? ig? i get ok grades (mostly Bs) but i always procrastinate assignments cos i'm lazy and unmotivated
83: what’s some of your favorite album art?♥ ooohh my fave is from life starts now by three days grace. i actually made it my theme once on chrome
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?♥ yea! i wanna get a lot of space related ones! and maybe the chip number of my boy harley
85: do you read comics? what are your faves?♥ mm. i read webcomics! a fave of mine is stutterhug by samantha davies on taptastic :>
86: do you like concept albums? which ones?♥ uhhhhhhh i don't know any off the top of my head and i looked it up and it says american idiot by green day is one and i love them so? yeah
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?♥ THE CROW. and the last unicorn!! both so good
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?♥ i've always been fond of symbolism
89: are you close to your parents?♥ i'm close to my mum! not so much my dad
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.♥ woodsboro, maryland! that's where my aunts and cousins live. i love going up there!
91: where do you plan on traveling this year?♥ idk! my mum did bring up going somewhere this year tho
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?♥ barely even a pinch. unless it's spaghetti and that powdery parmesan cheese
93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?♥ wellll we shaved the sides and back so it's just long at the top and flipped sideways
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?♥ ? it was my mum's boss's birthday a few days ago :0 we all had lunch together and she asked me what name she should call me by. i love her tbh
95: what are your plans for this weekend?♥ hopefully i can go see the puppies !!!
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?♥ procrastinate
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?♥ infp, leo but i relate more to my scorpio chart, and hufflepuff!
98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?♥ i've never actually been hiking!! and tbh i enjoy pretty much anything long as i'm with someone i like!
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.♥ jupiter by EDEN, leech boy by crywank, lost//found by EDEN, boats & birds by gregory and the hawk, and saturn by sleeping at last. a lot of others too ahh
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?♥ five years in the past. i could fix a lot of things that happened.
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galimatios · 6 years
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fear thy fortune chatlog notes
thinking abt the underdeveloped au i have in that weird off color fantasy universe that i realized is probably similar in ways to bloodborne even before i knew abt bloodbornes plot but this is nice bc i can solidify parts of it and i can probably also combine it with the knights au i have
OK I FORGOT TO PUT A CW HERE BUT CW FOR ABUSE MENT AND GORE MENT
somewhere located in present day west asia slash east europe theres a country divided into numerous states in which princes and princesses (princex (poc)/princen/etc for gender neutral options) are perpetually in contest with eachother for the right to be the divine ruler of the country
monarchy is not guided by blood, rather the church is responsible for finding the chosen candidates via prophecy, fururesight, dream interpretation, etc, and these kids are taken from their homes and reared as royalty the nature of this country is ... severe. pain is a gift, proof that one is alive. much ceremony is based in sacrifice, bloodspill, bloodsports, and pain endurance. magic as practiced by the church is extremely powerful in terms of healing so almost all wounds can be healed provided the heart still beats its essentially one big huge freakish cult of a country that has customs that seem barbaric to outsiders
the divine ruler of each state is the princens, though more often than not their councils do most of the governing with the princen merely being a puppet figurehead. they go through rigorous training to sharpen their minds and endurance against all types of pain, so training includes physical, mental, emotional trials in which the princen is supposed to keep a clear mind, concentrate on mediation or some mantra, bearing whatever is thrown at them. additionally they receive the best training in both combat and politics as well as magic. not all princen can withstand the requirements ofc so they.. vary quite a bit in terms of stability/constitution. its a p sick system even without the knights added in bc thats super messed up
the knights essentially belong to their princens in heart body mind and soul, and each princen receives exactly one knight soulbound to them. they also undergo the same scouting process once the princen is identified, and they undergo similar training except theyre also essentially brainwashed into believing their entire purpose in life is to serve and protect their princen no matter what. obviously this aint healthy! knights delude themselves into it so hard theyll fight for the system that literally abuses them! but thats how cults work
that being said knights are extremely powerful. they act as the sole bodyguard of their princen and believe me you dont want to get inbetween a knight and their prince. they are known especially for their brutality when their lords are threatened. it is extremely common for limbs to be lost in skirmishes btwn assailants and a knight
this takes us to the games! which are essentially gladiator coliseum type bloodsport contests between knights of different princens. its a pretty big affair like how the Olympics are for us so the fanfare the cheering the everything is all there i prob dont need to describe it in detail but its very violent. its considered practice for the knights before the true battle-royale type event thats even BIGGER bc it determines who becomes god-king of the country. this time the princen join their knights in the battlefield and basically whoever is left standing is the new king
is it worth it? probably not bc i think being king actually means being killed to be sent up to the heavens bc god kings dont need bodies any longer in truth the entire debacle is a distraction set up by the church to keep the country under its own control. its super corrupt. the council behind every princen is actually made up of high ranking church members that convene regularly to manipulate the politics of the region
but thats mostly the governing sphere of this world. the commonfolk are removed from most of this violence aside from the indoctrination by the church and the messed up religion they practice. a lot of the belief system here relies on this concept of karma and fate over free will. fate is oppressive, cannot be changed, but god do they try that belief ties into how princen and knights are fated to be pairs, how princen are fated to either ascend to godhood or die trying
but there is one way to manipulate fates in this world there exists in independent of the church a monastery that practices the art of transferring karma. think of karma as a type of currency that can be spent, saved, used, etc. lots of good karma may be distributed amongst loved ones via a ritual headed by a monk, or bad karma can be "paid off" essentially. the amount of good/bad karma a person has directly affects their fortune and luck. this practice is more or less outlawed by the church but the monastery is slowly gaining power over the commonfolk and the church mostly leaves the poor folk to rot anyway- their agenda mostly concerns the monarchy
altho i can definitely see tensions rising with the witch hunting as influenced by the church. particularly nefarious visions may result in blame being thrown around and commoners getting killed for crimes they have yet to commit and thats thanks to the teachings of the church
anyway as of rn though the monastery is still pretty small but it is an old, ancient organization with magic that runs far deeper than the magic of the church. it is a much more subtle magic- monks practice little offensive magic (they are a nonviolent sort anyway) but the ability to exchange karma is rare and has far more reaching impact in the long run i imagine they have strongholds further to the east but anyway theres one trump card the monastic order has
a subsection of the order is dedicated to the keeping of miracles. and miracles are... monsters! they are semi-physical manifestations of literal suffering and the sheer emotional energy provided by them is enough to give miracles the power to.. well. perform miracles.
when a person dies in anguish, there is a chance that their bodies will not decompose the way they are meant to. instead they slowly dissipate, bodies turning coal black and ashen to the touch. these cannot be disposed of the normal way (curses, contamination, all kinds of horrible things happen) so instead these corpses get locked up inside brick cells within the monastery
once, one of these was opened only to reveal that the bodies were gone- only a humming, massive shadow that seemed to move as if made of flies or soot combined. and it spoke, too. this was the first miracle created it was discovered then that these creatures had immense power but could not leave the rooms they were imprisoned in, touch sunlight, and similarly they could not die
imagine like the witchs nightmares in pmmm and you get what its like to be a soul trapped in a miracle. u get to relive ur worst fears and regrets forever. it suck miracles also cannot direct their powers towards their own will, only the will of others. ofc they are still monsters and exact a price for their services, whatever it may be.
a meeting with a miracle does not come cheap or without consequence, bc although miracles can be performed, karma always rebalances itself in the end. monks tasked with guarding and curating the miracles are called gatekeepers and are often someone close to one of the souls trapped in the vortex anyway i think thats the basics of everything in there... i got an au w cyrus as a prince and alex as his knight and instead of sticking around for their inevitable deaths the pair run off into the countryside far far away
actually i think something went wrong in the ceremony. cyrus and alex win godkingship of then... something goes wrong. probably the whole die-to-ascend thing is a secret kept from the princen and the public and. alex does a thing a knight should not do a refuses to let the ceremony continue. and im p sure as soon as cyrus learns of the truth hes like haha well fuck that
then they spend the rest of their days actually experiencing what life is like outside of a freakish cult and my fucking feels
i think.. meanwhile the monastic order grows in influence and power making them the enemy of the church... and jonah (yonah in this au) sacrifices himself to the miracle containing his brother in order to give the miracle a corporal form. which means august and company now have a physical conduit for all that power they had.
bad news for the church! bc august was unrightfully killed bc of a prophecy saying that hed become a huge threat and a killer
funny how prophecies work!
so now hes out for blood and he probably uses his own charisma and power to stage a coup against the church and basically the country goes to hell and i think at this point cyrus thinks. i got out of there alive. i need to do something about this. so he and alex probably join in and become arbiters of the game esp since cyrus and alex were probably the best synced, most skilled prince/knight duo the church had seen up to that date so theyre very powerful. ofc theyre still only two people so i really wonder how theyll step in btwn these two opposing parties
augusts side isnt good either bc august... is only out for revenge and self interest. he has no interest in fixing the country or helping anyone in fact once august is firmly seated on the throne of power he probably declares himself god-king anyway the end game probably looks like augusts body (which is jonahs body) being destroyed and the miracle contained in it finally put to rest jonahs soul must have something to do with the exorcism process- theyve tried to exorcise miracles before and only ended up upsetting it into violent outbursts anyway thats enough rambling from me time to paste this all into a blog post
god what if august picked keith to be his knight. thats messed up. keiths so easy to manipulate and hed be such a wildcard of a knight. he has more magic potential than alex and hes faster on his feet. im imagining bloodlust frenzy almost hyena-like behavior. also i mostly just want to see keith being violent and evil and i have an outfit in mind that would look great with a little splash of red
think like minimalistic ouji but like all black and keith with knives and serving a clearly twisted (even more than usual bc of the miracle’s influence) august
god even better the aftermath of augusts death TIME FOR THE FUCKING FEELS TO KICK IN BC now Keith has no purpose/he FAILED to protect his king WHICH WAS HIS ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE then alex coming in with cy and just no, you have inherent worth. what happened wasn't right im upset this is how alex and keith become family in this au
miracles i think in this case are definitely more of a means to an end i think narratively ie jonahs brother being killed and augusts soul being trapped within it- tho i think its a good tie-in into how the severe paranoid cultish way the society works ends up producing a lot of People Dying In Extreme Anguish
almost a buildup of sickness so to say.. a plague of the soul that's a cool avenue to go down tbh the idea that miracles are more like viruses spreading misfortune in the long run for some quick gain in this life but bc karma always collects her debts if i throw in some nice reincarnation that would effectively damn someone in their next life... that implies that this story may need to expand across different generations
mechanics being so much bullshit has happened in this country it houses multiple miracles whereas elsewhere its like one, or none, very few in their histories except possibly during wartime and famine
since magic is Exists in this it makes sense that the emotional energy combined w ambient energy would manifest in some kind of grotesque Being
oh no thats maybe why the church is manipulating things by purposely generating that emotional trauma in its society its producing unprecedented amounts of energy they can utilize as magic power oh  no thats super bad august would definitely take advantage of that bc hed definitely figure the truth out once hes back to being alive
im upset bc i think they use princens and knights to specifically create emotional energy
energy released upon death which typically happens after a knight/prince duo has been chosen... then the resulting STRONG ass char plague on their bodies are collected to make artifacts? yes
gems created from the ashen plague are embedded into a huge mandala that actually ... is the god-king itself
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diverdowns · 7 years
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narciso anasui - 1 am character analysis
so, anasui — one of my favorite jjba characters, he’s probably somewhere around third or fourth on my list. i’ll do a quick rundown of his background and personality before i go in-depth into some of the arcs he’s in as well as some of his quotes, notably from the heavy weather arc and the made in heaven arc.
(as you might expect, major spoilers for all of part 6.)
i’ve tried to go easy on the headcanons and focus more on actual character analysis / meta stuff, so here we go.
anasui probably has some serious abandonment issues — we see in canon that it’s mentioned anasui had some major issues connecting with other people growing up, and so he developed a stilted sense of empathy + an obsession with dismantling / disassembling things. this presumably carried over to people — perhaps an underlying subconscious desire to understand people’s motivations that he couldn’t read on the surface through social cues that had, until that point, gone over his head. (or maybe he just really liked tinkering. who knows.)
judging at least from his obsession being allowed to grow unrestricted and out of hand as he continued to suffer socially as a result of it, we can probably assume that anasui’s parents probably didn’t care about him too much — at worst, they may have been neglectful or abusive. still, everything abt his parents is just speculation. notably mentioned in canon though: as a child, he disassembled his neighbor’s car, and was institutionalized for six months. being placed in a place like that for that long of a time does shit to you, and it’s def nothing pretty. add likely parental neglect to the equation, and you have abandonment issues just waiting to erupt.
(as a side note, psychologically, this is an obsessive ritual that can be seen in a number of conditions from asperger’s to alzheimer’s, so honestly any kind of mental illness speculation is fair game for anasui, but this isn’t the post for that.)
whatever the case, he seems to assimilate back into society once his awkward phase ended, though his strange upbringing probably left some lifelong habits / scars there, who knows. he doesn’t do anything to warrant serious attention until he’s 21. at this point, he has a (presumably) long-term, monogamous girlfriend — if it’s anything like the way he treated jolyne, we know that anasui is… overbearing, to say the least. in any case, he walks in on his girlfriend cheating on him when he makes a surprise visit to his girlfriend’s house, and murdered both of them, dismembering them so that “they would never come together again.”
it’s never mentioned if anasui was a stand user since birth, so we can assume he either used diver down to do all this disassembling or he was just…really good at taking things (and people) apart, but it’s likely that he’d had diver down from a young age — up until he’s imprisoned, it doesn’t seem like he was doing anything in particular that would’ve caused him to be normally strong enough to kill two grown adults on the spot, without the help of a stand. (then again, anasui’s capable of some pretty fucked up things either way, so this is just my speculation / hc.)
after his imprisonment, he has a full psychiatric analysis and — nobody can find anything technically wrong with him. besides his obsessive ritual and explosive temper, he’s…just a regular guy, albeit somewhat of an asshole. emporio mentions that his original obsession’s cause was never really discovered, as well. the murder of his girlfriend and girlfriend’s lover was highly publicized, his name being spread through news both on tv and in newspapers, so presumably the details of the crime were sufficiently brutal.
anasui shows a stunning lack of regard for most people’s wellbeing — for the most part, he ignores F.F. and offers little help as she fights kenzo and his dragon dream — though jolyne (and by extension, jotaro) is a notable exception. anasui claims to have fallen in love at first sight, attracted to jolyne by her iron will and strong determination to do the right thing and save her father, and expresses a strong desire to marry her. actually, when jolyne’s involved, he has an almost humorous lack of self-preservation — eg. during the green birth arc, when jolyne’s infected with a presumably fatal plant…infection…disease….thing, anasui not only touches the flowers growing across jolyne’s skin (trying to use his stand to destroy them from inside of jolyne’s body, to no avail) but also puts the flowers in his mouth, which while being played for laughs is also ridiculously foolish. (in general, though anasui ricochets heavily from being the comic relief character to being the stoic yet brash character in the main ensemble, mostly after weather’s death) there’s kind of an explanation for his reckless behavior, coming up later.
(keeping all of this in mind, and despite anasui’s willingness to use his stand to protect the main cast to the point of taking fatal blows for them, he is definitely not a good person. i just want to get that out of the way before someone accuses me of being like, an apologist lmao)
ok, so let’s go thru anasui’s main appearances, from his introduction onward.
emporio goes on to mention that “if weather report wasn’t here to keep [anasui] calm, there’s no telling what anasui’d do.” seeing as anasui is imprisoned when he’s 21, as mentioned in his introductory chapter, and he’s 25 when SO takes place, four years have passed since he’s landed in green dolphin street jail. (for reference, his sentence is for 12 years — relatively light for a double homicide, all things considered — so he’s served a third of that.) presumably, he’s known weather report for at least a majority of that time, as they at least have enough of a rapport for weather to keep anasui out of serious trouble. (weather is 39 during the events of SO. weather, for reference, has been in prison for around 20 years, since pucci took his memories from him when he was 16. also, at the beginning of the BR arc, weather has trouble using a sink that anasui with his impressive sink knowledge notes has been around in modern plumbing for at least 20 years. as a quick side note, anasui seems to have a ridiculous knowledge, in general, of a lot of mechanical things in general — during the yo-yo-ma arc, he spouts off the specifications of a random machine gun after just glancing at it.)
at the end of ch 697 we also just see a scene of weather and anasui hanging out in what appears to be some random ass hallway in the male ward of the prison with no guards around, so take that as you will lol. the two have presumably been hanging around each other for a while like this, so that’s interesting, at least.
the BR arc is where i really got into anasui, so let’s go a little in-depth on those chapters. anasui seems to know a whole bunch of random facts about disney world (though he holds a theme park guide in his hands while he spouts a bunch of random disney world facts, he doesn’t seem to look at it / open it until after he finishes talking, which draws out the legendary “where the fuck is mickey” line). he also mentions manhattan and rome, and how he’s been to neither of those places. it’s probably safe to assume that anasui is floridian — but maybe he’s just really passionate about orlando, who knows. he seems pretty passionate about sinks, too. other than that, not much real information is released here besides things like “anasui’s very passionate about mickey” and “weather report is a fan of post-impressionism”
so, on to the Fun Arc. heavy weather. when weather first gets his memories back, the first things he does, in order, are shove a injured person out of a chair, take said chair, and then force water into a doctor’s body to make him into a chair.
anasui, despite being a literal murderer and honestly doing plenty of fucked up things over the course of the series, flips his shit. he’s legitimately horrified, probably less so from what weather’s doing and more so that it’s weather that’s doing it. actually, weather kinda acts like anasui, honestly, so maybe this is also just anasui being a giant hypocrite, but hey. he’s literally described between chapters as having no idea what’s going on and being pretty freaked out — he’s just following weather at this point because he still has no idea where jolyne is.
(im going to note for my own self-satisfaction that despite weather’s whole “you’re only useful to me now cause you can kill me, anasui” line and all that, when pucci grabs anasui during weather’s fight against him, weather visibly reacts and gets worried regardless, so hey, my rarepair)
okay, after weather’s death, anasui makes a mini speech. (arguably, weather’s death is the turning point for anasui to take more of a serious and less of a comedic role.) here’s what he says:
“listen, jolyne. people have called me a ‘murderer.’ the papers have called me that, and i can’t say that i disagree with them. when people asked me if i would sacrifice myself for the sake of my family, i answered ‘no.’ i’d probably answer that way, now. my heart was never moved by them.”
(more evidence to suggest that anasui’s relationship with his family wasn’t necessarily the best.)
“but i know that i’d be willing to risk my life for something that was able to revive me. i used to be dead.”
interjection here: whether he’s talking about his betrayal (when his girlfriend cheated) or maybe just a general feeling of aimlessness towards life in general, this is pretty dark for anasui, actually. it’s one of the only times he even talks abt his crimes, and this is an interesting concept that araki explores a few times with multiple characters. (eg. anasui risks his life to revive himself with “love,” or what he thinks is love, in any case, to follow jolyne. abbacchio does something similar to follow buccellati, in p5. weather “revives himself” for revenge, and johnny in p7 for the hope of walking again.)
prior to giving himself a mission (jolyne), anasui thinks of himself as functionally dead. this also explains, for example, his nonchalance towards risking his own life and wellbeing for the others.
“weather was that way, too. weather came back to life when he left that prison. i can tell. so don’t think too deeply about what happened to him. these past few days, weather was happy. weather was already saved.”
— okay, in my mind, most of this is just shit anasui says to make jolyne and hermes feel better about weather’s sudden death. to an extent, it’s true: weather prior to getting his memories back was enraptured with the world outside the prison, helping innocent people, messing with sinks, reading fairy tales, but that’s not really the truth. after getting his memories back, weather admits to wanting to die, admitting that he took a cruel sense of pleasure in watching heavy weather run its course and telling anasui that in a twisted way, he’s glad anasui’s there so that he’d kill him. weather’s not happy.
(but who knows? in the end, the character that actually knew weather for the longest was anasui — maybe he’s right and that there was something that revived in weather that we didn’t get to see as the readers.)
but what’s interesting is that he doesn’t mention weather’s sudden transformation after getting his memories back, he lets jolyne and hermes carry on the weather they knew in their thoughts, instead of telling them the truth of weather’s personality. on my second read-through, i noticed that (besides pucci, i guess, and versace by proxy) anasui is the only one who sees weather’s true personality.
and maybe, dying for the sake of his goal (ie. weather’s attempted revenge) was close enough to redemption, in anasui’s eyes. if we pick apart weather’s final goals, he’s living only so that he can 1. take revenge on pucci and 2. die. honestly, in a sad, fucked up anasui-logic kind of way, weather dying in his attempt to kill pucci at least fulfills half of those goals, so it’s not a stretch that anasui could shrug and say “close enough i guess.” but imo, he still says what he does mostly to ease jolyne and hermes’ consciences. it’s one of his kinder moments.
in the actual final fight against pucci, anasui’s probably just behind jotaro in terms of fully grasping and understanding pucci’s abilities — and their implications in battle. his final plan is the only one they really have: because diver down is able to phase through and protect all of the others, he will take the first hit from pucci, and at that exact moment jotaro will stop time and presumably ora pucci into oblivion.
it doesn’t work, but the plan had merit and was surprisingly well thought-out, showing quite a few of his personality traits — while he’s angry and headstrong most of the time, he’s relatively good at thinking on his feet and is always quick to come up with plans, especially in battle. now let’s look at his last lines.
“don’t stop [pucci’s blow] before he hits me. do it after…”
while all the other characters pause and stare at him in shock after he says this, he’s relatively calm about it. he knows it’s the only chance they have, regardless of the danger it poses to himself. dying, to anasui, is not the worst that can happen — it’s having to live again with no purpose (which he’s established, atm, as jolyne).
“ever since i got out of prison, i’ve managed to stay alive… if i can just stay alive, keep this trend… then maybe i’ll ask jolyne to marry me. …or, you know, something like that.”
a lot of people do make light of this (and it’s somewhat comedic, for sure) but it’s interesting again to see how much this drives him. before i really get into it, let’s take a look at jolyne’s (infamous) response.
(jolyne:) “anasui… all right, ask me. […] your plan… it still as hope. it’s not darkness that drives you… even if there’s only one path that we can take, if there’s a hint of hope, then that’s the right path.
holy shit do i love this quote. in the end, anasui’s not… redeemed, not really. he’s still a murderer. he still feels no remorse over killing those people. but he’s not evil, either. his motivation is that he wants to live for real: he is driven by hope. and through all the morally grey protagonists of parts 5 on, this is what they all have in common: a hope or dream that gives someone who’d thought themselves dead something to live for. jolyne doesn’t say this because she’s suddenly in love with anasui, or because she wants to marry them, she says it because she’s realizing this — she’s realizing that anasui’s hope, his resolve, might be enough for this plan to work.
actually, in the end, in an ironic twist of fate, he does die for — and by — jolyne’s hand. (hah.) pucci redirects stone free’s punch into anasui’s torso, piercing through his chest and killing him near instantly. rip. and that, in any case, draws an end to this wall of text.
also i think one random fic i read mentioned a throwaway line that anasui apparently had about him having been married once in prison? i dont recall anything like that, but someone else has confirmed it (i’d love to find the source, if anyone has it!)
i’d love to get into the whole thing about his motivation in the first place: why anasui “falls in love” with jolyne and why that matters, as well as possible subconscious motivations for his obsessions/his stand ability but that’s falling solidly into the territory of hc’s, and not so much analysis/meta. 
i’ll write it up some other time, maybe, if there’s interest.
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hinamie · 7 years
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Omg can you tell us stuff about your ocs? :)
yes always !! pls never be shy to ask abt my children I love them all very much and I am always down to talk about them :’) 
(this is going to get kind of long I can tell u that right now)
Shiro: Male/18/Dragon
My main boy!! I love him!! He’s the one on the far right in this post for photo ref,, don’t let that picture fool you he’s like 5′4. 
About Shiro: His family served the crown so he and his brother were raised as assassins/guards however their training methods were…questionable to put it lightly. So to speak, he’s really powerful but has also killed a lot of people and has a significantly unstable mental state. He and Eden are childhood friends but their relationship has changed drastically over time due to Plot. Between his shitty family, his home being destroyed, his brother dying and Eden’s shenanigans Shiro’s been through a lot but he’s nothing if not resilient. Personality-wise he has a really hard time opening up to people and can be a bit distant and cold but if u can get past all that he’s soft and kind (but could still probably kill you if he wanted to) 
Fun facts: he’s hecka gay for Luca and is scared to death of water after almost drowning as a kid
Luca: Male/18/Human
I haven’t done recent art of him so oops,, he’s got sandy blond hair and the warmest brown eyes u could imagine. soft boy. I’ll draw him eventually. 
About Luca: He’s the second prince of the kingdom that overthrew Shiro’s kingdom so that makes things awkward right off the bat. But it’s ok because Luca’s kingdom also fell and his family was executed and it’s all a big mess so now they have something else in common. Nice. He knows how to fight but he’s an average fighter at best and he’s too quick to spare enemies which gets really annoying really quickly when you’re trying to win a war. Luca’s royal upbringing makes him cool and collected and overall just really pleasant to be around, however it’s probably just a farce and he’s alone and overwhelmed and scared out of his mind, constantly. Give him a hug he needs one. 
Fun facts: a really good doctor!! spent most of his time as a prince hiding from his prince-jobs and helping out in the infirmary 
Eden: Male/18 /Dragon turned demon (immortal, can die but doesn’t age) 
This Asshole,,, I’ve never drawn him either but he’s got coppery-brown hair, tan skin, and golden eyes. (Demons have gold eyes in this world, I make the rules. Eden’s used to be brown) 
About Eden: He wasn’t always this way let me just put that out there. Growing up, his family was really poor so he resorted to stealing and scamming to get by, that’s sort of how he met Shiro. He’s always been really anxious but covers it up with copious amounts of humour, and now he covers it up even more by being a manipulative asshole. Side note, to become a demon a dragon has to give up their name, and therefore give up their shot at the afterlife/reincarnation–most do it in exchange for power + immortality, which is what Eden did to try and protect his siblings. It didn’t exactly work out; they’re dead and Eden’s personality is all over the place and he plays off Shiro’s trauma to get him to do what he wants. Still, every now and then his old self will pop in for a visit and it makes things that much harder tbh. Despite everything, he’s managed to hold on to his humour a bit, maybe his jokes have gotten a little darker and harder to catch but he makes it work. 
Fun facts: all assholery aside, he’s really good at cheap card tricks
Maia: Female/17/Human
Maia’s on the left in this post, again she is much shorter than she looks. She’s the smallest of my ocs lmao she’s like 5 feet even. 
About Maia: I don’t have a lot of her backstory sorted out yet but she and Ronan are twins and used to be part of a circus group before joining up with Luca and co. Her personality is the only big thing about her, she’s fiery and a bit extra but also just a very friendly person in general. Also did I mention that she’s gay as hell? She’s gay as hell. She tends to get a little too caught up in the heat of the moment a lot of the time but she knows how to be serious when it’s needed. She and Luca have your standard “sibling” relationship lmao; they’re either best friends or mortal enemies there is no in between. It’s mostly her being too eager to rush into things and Luca not being eager enough. It’s a nice balance. Long story short: everyone loves Maia. 
Fun facts: when she first saw Shiro she tried to hit on him because she thought he was a girl. 
Ronan: Male/17/Human
Again, no art. It’s a bit easier for me to picture him since I know what Maia looks like already. He’s not terribly tall but not tiny like his sister, maybe 5′6 or 5′7. He’s got a slightly darker skin tone, less freckles, and a more brownish tint to his hair. Same hazel-y gold eyes. 
About Ronan: I feel bad because he is easily my least-developed character. I know next to nothing about him except that he and Maia are a tag team both in their performances and in combat; he’s quite skilled with knives. 
Fun facts: He and Yanmei have such a pure and wholesome platonic relationship I love their dynamic
Yanmei: Female/18/Human
She’s in the middle here! She’s probably the same height as Shiro, if not taller. 
About Yanmei: She’s not super developed either….she escaped from a pleasure house where she was forced to work since she was young; one night she just up and killed one of her clients and ran away. She’s ace as fuck, and very very sex-repulsed. She’s got kind of a strict, disciplined look about her but she’s not nearly as scary as she seems. A big sweetheart.
Fun facts: I haven’t completely worked out the details yet but she can see spirits!!
Lee: Male/19/Human
He’s probably my tallest oc, not so sure how tall. Maybe 6 feet? heck if I know. I should know. He’s got blue eyes, red hair, and a temper to match.
About Lee: If I had to say one thing about Lee it’s that he’s loyal to a fault. He’s decided to dedicate his life to Luca after Luca saved his sick mother’s life when she was on her deathbed. He sees himself as responsible for everything Luca does and will absolutely fight you if you try anything to hurt him, ever. Thing is, he thinks he’s stronger than he actually is and gets kind of quiet and indignant when faced with someone stronger than him. He’s like “I want to fight but I know I’ll lose so I’ll just sit here and brood and glare at you a lot.” That being said, he reeeeally does not like Shiro at all and goes way out of his way to show it. He’s never physically fought Shiro because he doesn’t have a death wish but he absolutely would if he could without dying. 
Fun facts: He can not flirt for the life of him. Maia and Eden exploit this fact daily. 
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