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nagitoro · 9 months

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｡ₓ ू ₒ DENY, THEN EMBRACE — RIN ITOSHI

he'll deny these feelings, those anonymous gifts, and the need to hug you.

a rin itoshi oneshot! rin itoshi x fem! reader

iya's notes ; my first work on my new blog! i made it extra fluffy for everyone ><

rin itoshi thinks he is a master of it, the art of denial. he denies most things, and in very different aspects too.. like being asked to hang out, his answers would be a stern "no thanks.", he denies the anger he feels whenever isagi yoichi, his rival, steals a soccer goal away from him. but the biggest denial of his life, is in love.

and is in you, the denial of his own feelings. rin itoshi isn't so accustomed to having such musty feelings, as he referred to them as such. but, to be honest, rin doesn't mind feeling it in the comfort of his own mind, where his imagination and love roam free.

he's not allowed to fall in love yet, when he has a huge dream and a path to take in front of him. it's a distraction. from the soccer career he is putting his life on, something that he has excelled in all his life, second only to his brother, sae. maybe one day, those feelings will eventually fade.

rin itoshi is not a believer in romances, after all. he trusts that maybe in a week, such feelings will go away. maybe.. in two weeks? a month? two months? he doesn't know, it's been how long since he wished his longing to be by your side would just go away, to not let it plague his mind. as good as the feelings he gets from it, it makes him weak, he thinks.

vulnerability isn't so much what rin itoshi aspires to be, and yet in the presence of you.. he feels every bit of the word vulnerable. it makes him weak in the knees, making him feel shivers from head to toe. “it's just a crush, this is how it normally feels like.” he reminds himself, he's had a few crushes before, how does this make it any different.

“rin!” your voice calls out, and his soul gets turned into a messy puddle. he tries his best to keep calm, fixing his coat and hair subconsciously before coughing, clearing his throat. why? it's his subconscious speaking, the player thinks. “hello.” and as you walk towards him with a grin, he could only muster a weak (and honestly shy) smile back.

rin itoshi doesn't even smile most of the time. but i think any smile that came from him, an always upset and reclusive man would be a huge advancement towards a more neutral, at least personality.

he held a small conversation with you about nothing in particular, until you mentioned something about wanting to buy plushies and figurines. explaining how cute they are and that you're starting a collection of such items, showing him a picture of a lamb holding what seemed to be a tulip. “is this.. what you want?” he asks, no emotions shown on his face and yet inside the cogs of his head were working.

itoshi rin went home that day, seemingly happy to see you once in a while. sitting on his clean desk, he thinks deeply. reminiscing the quite short conversation you two had earlier that day. a much more visible grin on his face, he was after all in the comfort of his own bedroom so he felt free to express little bits of happiness and what people called butterflies in their stomach.

he grabbed his phone, typing in “lamb with tulip” before stopping, staring at the wall in front of him with a look that could only be embarrassment. what am i thinking.. buying them this can't buy their love. he shakes his head at the thought, being a firm believer that not even money can buy affection and love, especially yours. rin took another look at the plushie, before imagining you holding on to it tightly with a very pleased expression.

he smiled to himself again, like an exercise to his face's muscles that he hadn't quite had in a long while. rin pressed the buy now button, before putting his phone down a few minutes later. they don't have to know that it's from me.. all they need to know that it came from someone who adores them, even if i am not allowed to. he thinks to himself, burying his face into his hands while thinking about his feelings.

i will like them, as long as my heart wants to. rin itoshi nods to himself, maybe.. he has the hold over his feelings for you by now. standing up to go to the mirror, he looks at himself, the faint blush on his face as he sighs out loud. “i don't think my heart will ever stop liking them.”

a few days later, rin sneaks to your apartment, and stuffs something into the mail carefully. his disguise was shades, a baseball cap and a black facemask. making sure to look around before placing it inside, he smiles then walks away. rin waited in anticipation for your reaction, perhaps a message? no, there was no indication that it was from him anyways, no letter, not even a measly sticky note.

opening his instagram, he sees a post. and instinctively, rin grins. you look perfect. he thought, staring at the selfie you took with the plushie, holding it in different poses. the caption of your post read:

@username: whoever gave me this will get a hug and a lot of thanks, tysm anon <3

rin blinks, is that true? he thinks, tapping his finger nervously on his wooden desk. “maybe it's a joke, she wouldn't. and besides, she doesn't know..” he gulps down, sighing. but the thought of other people who may admire you, taking credit for buying you that gift take his chance away from receiving a hug makes him frown, a huge scowl accompanied with thoughts of multiple people taking credit. his brows furrow and he slumps on his bed.

rolling over and over, wondering if he should text you. “but how..” he blinks up at the ceiling, this is stupid he thinks. i look like a middle school student with a stupid crush.. and quite frankly, it's true. rin can't help but feel young and dumb, in the face of what might possibly be his first love. what happened to just denying it all?

he thinks it's too late to deny it, he's enamored.

not my fault.. i can't help but like you, who wouldn't? i'm not going to deny it.. not when i want to give my all for her.. this is the only other thing i want other than soccer, my other wish, is them, and what seems to be an impossible.. romance? with her. i can't believe myself, using terms like that. it's icky.

he shivered, rin seemed like one of those characters of romance movies that he despised. but how long would it take if he still denied the feelings he held for you? how long would his wait of “it'll go away soon, they're just a crush anyways.” go on? rin thinks he's already too deep in, maybe, just maybe this is the type of love that he imagined to be disgusting. if so, why is it making him feel like a new person, a much better, and a less selfish person.

and as he types into his phone, his hands shake with nervousness. this was one of the stepping stones he had to overcome, to get a little closer to you.

@ rinitoshi : when's the meetup? i need to have that hug y/n

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ga-yuu · 3 years

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~Kurama~Main Story Chapter 25~Part 2

Warning!! Sexual content below because it's the avatar challenge story. And Kurama is too cute.

Part 1

-------Part 4-----

Kurama: “Do you know what I’m thinking now, Yoshitsune?”

Yoshitsune: "Somewhat likely I do."

Likewise, Yoshitsune-sama does not look at Kurama."

Kurama: "Yoshitsune! Let's me make break our deal and the promise I made to you."

Ibuki: "-----No way."

Ibuki's eyes widened in realization.

Yoshitsune-sama smiled faintly and held out his hand to Kurama.

Yoshitsune: "You're not breaking our promise. You're asking me for a favor for the first time. The power you have given to me, I'm willing to give it back to you with grace."

(....They're breaking their pact!)

-----Kurama's plan is about to come to fruition.

A moment later, Kurama took Yoshitsune's hand and dazzling light-flooded around us.

Ibuki: "So, that's why."

For the first time, Ibuki backed away impatiently, but with a smile still on his lips.

Ibuki: "The power of love and friendship. I didn't expect you to use it as a trump card. How did you learn to do that? Kurama."

Kurama: "Not really. I'm just using what I already had in me."

Kurama then opens his fan.

Kurama: "----You know, Ibuki, I've never understood why I was able to control such an enormous amount of magical power to break Yoshino's spell."

Ibuki: ".....Oh, so now you understand?"

Kurama: "Yeah."

The air around Kurama distorted like a daylight tower, swirling and kneading into one solid mass.

(Kurama.....)

Kurama: "Because I wanted to protect her at all cost. This desire along with my power will be my new strength."

His magic which was twice as much power after breaking his deal struck Ibuki like a shockwave and attacked him.

Ibuki kicked the ground and created a huge sand shield but it was quickly destroyed.

Kurama: "Repent, Ibuki. You woke me up."

Ibuki: ".....Haa...what a boring end."

The light enveloped Ibuki and blew him away, from where he was too dazzled to see anything.

Yoshino: ".....Did we win?"

Kurama: "Yeah, it's over."

Tamamo: "Haa...I'm tired Kurama. Remember, you owe me one for this."

Kurama: "I don't remember."

Kurama and Yoshitsune's eyes meet and Yoshitsune smiles faintly.

Yoshitsune: "I'm glad you're safe, Kurama."❤

Kurama: "----It's only natural."

(Yoshitsune-sama rushed here to find out everything, he even went with Kurama's plan to break their deal without a second thought.)

(But that means that Yoshitsune-sama will lose a great weapon against the Shogunate in this war...)

When I think of his fierce determination, my heart is struck.

(I wonder how much trust there is between them.)

Yoshitsune: "Also, thank you. Tamamo, Yoshino."

Yoshino: "Eh?"

Yoshitsune: "For protecting Kurama."

Tamamo: "You should thank Yoshino in particular."

Jokingly, Tamamo let his long hair flutter in the wind.

Tamamo: "Let's go. Yoritomo must have achieved something by now."

.....................

In response to a night raid by the Imperial Court, Yoritomo led the main body of troops to meet them. At the end of it....

Akihito: "Nice to meet you, Minamoto no Yoritomo."

Yoritomo(fake smile): "As a Shogun, I have a problem with killing a nobleman of the Imperial Court."

-------Part 5-------

Yoritomo(fake smile): "As a Shogun, I have a problem with killing a nobleman of the Imperial Court. But no one will be able to charge you with killing a ghost that isn't supposed to be there now, Your Majesty."

Akihito: "Oh dear, I was supposed to be in the back of the line, but I got dragged out. Samurai's skill in battle is quite remarkable, isn't it?"

Akihito gives out a troubled laugh on his horseback.

Divided between his allies he is left with only a dozen private soldiers around him.

Akihito: "Well, you've got me cornered."

In spite of the hopelessness of the situation, Akihito's face never changed.

Akihito: "Go fast----"

On the horseback, Akihito waved his sleeves and several white dolls fell from his sleeves to the ground.

Shogunate soldier 1: "Be careful! He's doing something weird!"

The paper dolls swell to the size of a human and attack the Shogunate soldiers.

Yoritomo, who was in command smiled sarcastically.

Kagetoki: "Those paper dolls are Onmyoji magic. It must have been made by Yasuchika-dono."

Yoritomo: "Looks like it. We can hold out a little longer with few men. But that's only going to buy us time."

Akihito: "................"

Akihito's calm eyes captured Yoritomo and Kagetoki at a distance.

Akihito: "Neither soldier nor general will let this degree of deceit create an opening. It's not a good time to be on the offensive. In the end, I had to rely on Ibuki....but he seems to have disappeared. That's it."

With one hand, Akihito rolled up his sleeves and removes his bracelet from his hand.

Soon the air around him suddenly became heavy.

Akihito: "....Yasuchika, forgive me. I had to break our promise."

He didn't care that the soldier around him was spooked.

Akihito turned his horse's head in the direction of the Shogunate.

Akihito: "It's been a long time since I've used one of these."

The hair of Akihito turned to golden from black in a matter of seconds.

Akihito: "Sleep---"

Yoritomo: "What the---!?"

The Shogunate's soldiers, who were close to Akihito began to fall off their horses.

Kagetoki: "Kotodama? No----"

Yoritomo: "It's clearly not something a human can do. All back! Don't listen to him!!!"

Yoritomo's calm voice brought the Shogunate's soldiers to their senses.

Akihito: "....There are too many of you. Samurai are all so strong-willed and I'll have to use a strong Kotodama."

Akihito sighs and opens his mouth when-----

Akihito: "....Die-----"

Yasuchika: "DON'T DO THAT!"

Akihito: "Yasuchika!"

Yasuchika on his horse rushes up to Akihito and grabs his hand.

Yasuchika: "I've cleared our way of escape. So please come with me."

Akihito: "I was...."

Yasuchika interrupts Akihito.

Yasuchika: "I'll do anything. Anything no matter how dirty it is. I'm used to it. But don't take away from me the task of keeping your hands clean. Otherwise---For whom did I become an Onmyoji for?"

The blood-curdling words of Yasuchika caused Akihito's beautiful face to contort slightly.

Akihito: "....I'm always weak to that kind of face. Okay, Yasuchika. Let's retire for now."

Akihito and Yasuchika, both kicked their horse and runs out of the battlefield.

The soldiers hired by the Court, unable to grasp the situation clearly, rushed after him.

....................

Thus the long time on the battlefield has come to an end.

But-----

Kurama: "Yoshino, why are you running away?"

Yoshino(blushing): "B-Because...no one told me we're going to sleep together..!!!"

~~~~"I Will Love You, Forever." (Normal Story)~~~~

Kurama: "Yoshino, why are you running away?"

Yoshino(blushing): "B-Because...no one told me we're going to sleep together..!!!"

Kurama: "Why are you acting like this is the first time?"

Yoshino(blushing): "I know everything happened at the last minute...but still!!"

As I pushed and shoved my way through this pointless debate, I tried to remember why it had happened.

The war came to an end with the disappearance of Akihito-sama and Yasuchika-san.

Ibuki was knocked down by Kurama, and his life and death remain unknown to this day.

Since then, Yoritomo-sama and Yoshitsune-sama held a meeting lasting several hours and agreed on a temporary truce.

......It was only later that a small but significant problem arose for me.

-------FLASHBACK------

Kurama: "Then we'll going to my tent. Yoshitsune, are you ready?"

Yoshitsune: "Yeah, but...."

Yoritomo: "Kurama, are you seriously going to carry 'that' around with you all the time?"

Kurama: ".....? What are you talking about?"

Yoshino(blushing): "Ummm....Kurama. I don't understand why are you carrying me like this. Also Yoritomo-sama please don't address me like I'm some kind of thing."

Kurama, who had been carrying me in a bridal style as a matter of course, had a disapproving look on his face.

Kurama: "What? Do you want me to hold you up vertically? You're a selfish woman."

Yoshino(blushing): "It's not a question of orientation."

Kurama: "....? Then? I can't carry you on my back, there are wings back there."

Shigehira: "That's enough!!"

Shigehira-kun, who had been looking at me with a scornful expression, interrupted us as if he couldn't bear it.

Shigehira: "We hadn't see Yoshino in a really long time. But I don't get it. Why are you, the enemy, carrying her like that!?"

Kurama: "Because we're in love."

(He said it....again...without any hesitation.)

Shigehira(blushing for literally no reason): "Haaa!!!!????"

Sure enough, Shigehira-kun's face turned red and he stopped moving.

(I can't complain, I'm even embarrassed than Shigahira-kun...)

Kurama: "At first, I thought she was just my toy that I'd eventually let go. But I love this woman and she loves me too. There you have it----is there any reason not to touch?"

Yoshino(tomato red): "K-Kurama!! please don't say those kinds of things in public..."

Kurama: "I'm taking you to Hiraizumi tomorrow. Everything will be fine if you just look at me without worrying about other people."

Yoichi: ".....Awww, you two are making me blush"

(I can't stand this atmosphere. I'm so embarrassed!)

Then a calm voice interrupts me as if hearing my wish.

Kagetoki: "But, isn't Yoshino's official owners here? If Yoshino, who is the fox princess is removed from the Shogunate, won't our strength fall?"

Benkei: "Come on, man. It's a matter of how two people feel. Don't shove your rules and regulations onto them."

Yoichi: "He's right. Also, Yoshino spent a fair amount of time in Hiraizumi, so maybe she actually likes us better, right?"

Shigehira: "Don't count the time when she was a prisoner."

Yoichi: "I'm just stating the facts, FACTS."

Then Morinaga-san looked at me and gave his usual soft smile.

Morinaga: "I was also surprised by the news of Yoshino and Kurama being together...and I also know that you've been through a lot."

(Morinaga-san...)

Morinaga: "So I think we should all respect Yoshino's opinion."

Everyone's eyes were drawn to me and I opened my mouth shyly.

(I know it's hard to say, but it's the right thing to do, so I have to explain it properly.)

Yoshino: "As you may have guessed, I fell in love with Kurama. I am sorry to the members of the Shogunate."

Kurama: "..............."

Yoshino: "We decided to fight each other as enemies, and then things changed.... and he saved my life. So, if I'm allowed, I would like to live with Kurama."

(My life is limited, so I always want to be close to Kurama.)

Yoshino: ".....But I don't want to cause trouble for the Shogunate."

I say the best I can and kept my mouth shut.

Kurama: "It's no fun. Asking the Shogunate members for permission to live your life how you want. In fact, Yoshino is not even a fox princess anymore."

Yoshino: "Hm?"

Kurama: "Tamamo, why aren't you telling them?"

Tamamo: "Hm? Ohhh that...."

Tamamo who had been listening silently smiled mischievously.

Kurama: "The battle with Ibuki would have accumulated the amount of magic power needed to break your deal, right?"

(Really...?)

Tamamo: "I'm just sad to leave Yoshino's side. I just couldn't bear the thought of giving her to you."

Tamamo's red tongue was peeking mischievously.

Yoritomo: "What the hell do we do now? We all love Yoshino, don't we?"

Kurama: "So that's it. Should I just kill them all?"

Shigehira: "Control your emotions!!!!!"

Yoshino: "I'm sorry I'm sorry for that!!"

-----After that, Tamamo told me he likes the Shogunate and would be staying there.

We broke our deal and-----

Tomorrow, I will be going to Hiraizumi with the Rebels.

------FLASHBACK END------

(.....But, I didn't know about this arrangement.)

Kurama: "Are you out of your mind? Get over here quickly."

Yoshino: "!!"

He pulls me close and makes me sit on his lap.

My heart thudded as he puts his arms around my back to confine me.

Kurama: "----You're alive and warm."

(Kurama....?)

Yoshino: "It was Kurama who kept me alive. Remember?"

Kurama: "---Yeah, but one wrong move and I would have killed you. If I hadn't realized how much I loved you."

I can't read the emotion in that quiet voice, but....

(Maybe he's still worried?)

And when I think about it, the tension is gone.

I boldly put my arm around Kurama's back.

Yoshino: ".....I would still be alright."

Kurama: "What do you mean?"

Yoshino: "Because Kurama always gets things right, even if he doesn't know it....probably without even knowing it. I've felt that."

(And that's how he forcefully takes my hand and makes me aware of unfamiliar landscapes.)

We have been through a lot, from hurting each other to getting lost. But all that was necessary.

Yoshino: "Kurama."

Kurama: "What is it?"

Yoshino: "....I love you."(〃＾▽＾〃)

Kurama: "................you're full of sunshine."

Yoshino: "That's because I'm so happy."

Kurama frowns and pinches my cheeks with both hands.

Then his face finally approaches.....

Yoshino: "Mm...."

After a gentle kiss, Kurama separates and sighs painfully.

Kurama(blushing): "Seriously, who are you? How can you excite me so much so easily? It feels so unsettling now that I know about it too."

(....So, that's what you're thinking?)

Yoshino: "I feel the same about Kurama. So we bother are the same."

Kurama: "But it's still not enough. I might feel better if I take all of you and make love to you until you cry and beg for me."

This low voice sweetly echoes and had a dangerous scent to it.

Yoshino(blushing): "Mm..wait...."

Kurama: "I like that voice. I want to make you cry like that more."

Yoshino(blushing): "Ohh....Mmm...Ku..rama..."

The tip of his tongue tickles my earlobe and then crawls down to my neck.

A shiver ran down my spine and I instinctively understood it.

(Tonight, Kurama will not let go of me, no matter how much I complain.)

Yoshino(blushing): "Mmm....you also wanted to do..this...even before you realized...you're love for me..."

Kurama: "Yeah, and you'd always stop me without letting me go all the way."

Kurama scoops up my chin with his fingertips and laughs.

Our kiss deepened, and his soft tongue enters through the slightly opened thin lips.

Yoshino: "Hmm....Nn..Mmm...."

(Ohh..he..already knows...my weaknesses...)

He stroked my hair, tickling the nape of my neck, and his tongue traced the back of my mouth probing the sweet moans to easily escape from my lips.

Yoshino: "Ha...ah...."

The kiss ended with a wet sound and I fell against Kurama's chest.

My obi was already loosened, and his fingers enter through my loose collar.

Kurama: "You're body is begging me to torment you more, even if you try denying it with words."

Yoshino(showing her orgasm face): "No..such..thing...."

Kurama: "Then why is your body reacting to everywhere I touch? And why are you making that face?"

His finger follows down to massage my breasts....

Yoshino: "Ahh.....Nnmm...Mm.."

As soon as his fingers lightly touch me in a scratching motion, my body jumps...

Yoshino(Orgasm face): "Ku..ra...ma....n...more..."

Kurama: "Do you want more?"

Yoshino(Orgasm face): "No..more..."

Kurama smiles and kisses my eyelids, while I glare at him in tears.

Kurama: "I like the way you resist despite having a fragile body."

Is was horrified but at the same time happy to see his lovely smile.

(Does Kurama knows that he's smiling now?)

Kurama: "You are the one who clings to reason at the very end while squirming. Before, if I got the heat up to this point, you'd stiffen up, so I'd pull back."

Yoshino: ".......Why was Kurama being so much considerate before?"

I wince at the kisses on my neck and say a few words of resistance, but....

Kurama: "Ohh?"

Yoshino(blushing): "No! Nothing!"

I look away in embarrassment when I saw those ferocious red eyes.

Kurama: "I was overlooking it because I didn't find fun in simply robbing everything from you."

He purposely whispers into my ear and I shiver at his giggles.

Kurama: "Now that you have come forward and cleared that you liked all of that? Are you ready now?"

Yoshino(Orgasm face): "Ahh...I...."

He quickly uncovers my skin.

(.....Why have I fallen in love with such a troublesome demon?)

(But I never thought I'd be so happy to even be drowned.)

I could just feel the heat in my cheeks in the moonlight.

Chapter 26

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #ikemen mc #ikemen genjiden kurama #main story translations #otome #cybird #cybird ikemen #cybird otome

16 notes · View notes

lnarizakis · 4 years

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i thought i’d never see the love of my life again, but here you are, right in front of me | b. meguru

pairing: bachira meguru x gen! reader

foreword: my first time writing for blue lock and for bachira!!! hopefully i did best boy (and my bf) some justice. i had so much fun writing this and i hope you guys have fun reading it hahaha. the request i was inspired by said that the reader was the one who moved away, but uh, i made it different. i still hope this is good for u!! and i hope you guys enjoy this!!

wc: 1.9k+

look out for: angst to fluff, spoilers pertaining to bachira’s backstory, post-blue lock storyline ((made-up ending, not spoilers!!))

━━━━━━━━━━☆

"You know, I never thought you were weird."

You extended out your hand, reaching out to the poor boy beat down to the ground. He looked up to you with sadness in his eyes and defeat in his inconstant breathing. He clasped onto your hand and you pulled him up from his misery. The two of you stood on the soccer field alone, and the sadness in his eyes were washed out with relief as he embraced you, crying into your shoulder.

When Bachira pulled away, you noticed the snot that ran down his nose was tinted red, mixed with blood, and you yelped in surprise, pushing him out of the soccer field with you. He laughed at your concern as the two of you made your way towards his household.

Holding his soft hand, you maneuvered around his home as you've been there several times, towards the bathroom where you were to take care of Bachira. You set him on the edge of the sink, directly in front of you, and brought out the first-aid kit stowed away in one of the cabinets of the bathroom.

Sighing, you thought to yourself, "I wish Meguru didn't have to go through all of this. I'm here for him, and I hope he knows that." You looked up at his innocent face, dabbing the wounds inflicted by his teammates with water, washing away the dried blood. He flinched when you began treating his wounds with alcohol, and to calm his nerves you placed a hand over one of his, tightly gripping the edge of the sink on which he sat. Bachira watched your face, intently focusing on tending to his wounds, and he could feel his heart racing, not from the adrenaline of the game the two of you just played, but from how you cared for him and how you were always there for him, despite all the names he'd been called for playing independently and strangely on the field.

Bachira Meguru wanted to say he was in love with you. Though he wanted to laugh at himself for being in love at only age ten, he knew that these feelings that he had for you were real. The monster in his heart whispered in his ear, telling him so. He knew that you, too, had a monster within yourself, caring for him like the gentle spirit it was. While Meguru's own was wild and reckless, consuming his whole being, yours was there to pull him up before he sank deep into madness. He wanted to say he was in love with you because he knew you felt the same.

"Good game out there," Bachira said instead, breaking the comfortable silence. The hand on his own moved up to pinch his mouth shut, not letting him speak anymore.

"Don't talk, Meguru. Some of the dirt on your cheeks might get into your wounds." He hummed, agreeing to your command.

"You're pretty skilled at your age, (Y/N)-chan. Are you gonna be a nurse when you grow up?" Bachira asked, irking you as he agreed not to speak just seconds ago. You were a passionate lover, and it got on your nerves that Bachira didn't follow what you just advised, creating the chance that he might infect his own wounds.

"Meguru, please."

He gave a single, short nod.

When you finished, Bachira hopped off of the sink and gave you another hug, wrapping his arms around you to the point where it felt like he could touch his own shoulders. Letting go, he thanked you, and as you acknowledged his gratitude, you made your way towards the front door, leaving.

That's how it always had been: you would play soccer with Bachira and his teammates almost every day, no matter the weather or the time, and typically by the end of the game he was beaten up by whoever because of his playing style. You thought it was cool—impressive, even—but apparently his teammates didn't think so. After everyone had left, you'd lift him up from wallowing in the grass with his tears and the monster in his heart to accompany him and bring him home (sometimes on your back) to tend to the injuries he'd gotten. It was a painful routine for you to follow, but it was all you had to do to stay by Bachira's side. After all, you loved him with everything you had.

Seven years later, you were there when Bachira opened up a letter inviting him to attend a training camp called "Blue Lock." Thinking it was a mere training camp to better his skills in soccer, you thought it was something that would last a week, or probably even two, but you didn't realize that the last words he would tell you for several years were "Make sure you've got something warm for me when I come back!"

It was the first time since forever when the two of you went separate paths, and even as you continued on in high school and into university, Meguru never left your mind. You wondered if he still remembered you, as soccer would be the only thing running through his own mind at an intense training camp like Blue Lock. You have heard of boys dropping out of the camp every few weeks ever since Bachira left, and though you didn't want to admit it, you wished that he would come home to you, holding him in your arms as he cried to you about his ruined dreams. It was an unpleasant thought that sat in the back of your mind, taunting you about your selfishness. It was ironic that despite how generous you were with caring for Bachira, you were completely selfish with keeping him to yourself. Perhaps that was the effect love had on you, though you weren't so sure if he was still in love with you, too.

He was. He knew he was, and always will be in love with you as much as he was in love with soccer. He missed you everyday he was in stuck in Blue Lock, and he would constantly tell the friends he made about his love. One night, Isagi Yoichi asked him as they laid in bed about who you were, and the former might as well have called Bachira's description of you his bedtime story because he rambled on for hours on end about you. The lilting tone in Bachira's voice was reason enough for Isagi to know how much you meant to the boy.

There was a knock on the door, several years since Bachira left for Blue Lock, and you let go of the book in which you were studying for medical school to open the door. In front of you was Bachira Meguru, weary and tired. Right away he fell into your arms, and his whole weight dropped on top of you. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and he exhaled deeply. From over his shirt you could feel his toned muscles that he grew from undergoing the extensive physical training.

Bachira pulled away from you, and upon seeing your face, he smiled just as he did when the two of you were children. "It's nice seeing you again, (Y/N)-chan. I missed you." He pinched your cheek with his calloused fingers, to which you whined. He laughed heartily at the exchange, and held your hand as he dragged you out of the house.

"Meguru! I was studying!" The two of you talked as if he never left.

"You can do that later! Let's go out!" He exclaimed, pulling you to his side.

Flustered at his words, you stuttered out what seemed like a question. Bachira simply laughed at your response. He took you towards the nearby beach of Chiba, and as soon as your feet touched the sand he collapsed onto the soft surface, beckoning you to do the same. An uneasy silence, unfamiliar to how it was in the past, rested over you two as you watched the calm waters in front of you.

"So, how was Blue Lock?" You asked, hoping to get some answer of the mysterious program. You had so much to ask him and to tell him after all these years. You turned your gaze to Meguru who still stayed watching the quiet waves.

"They didn't want me. I was playing against real monsters, (Y/N)-chan. More than the monster in me. In you." Bachira turned towards you and poked your chest. The both of you chuckled a bit. He sighed, then fell onto the sand, lying down. You did the same, and you were both looking up at the afternoon sky. "I don't know, (Y/N). I went to Blue Lock to find someone who could play with me, and don't get me wrong, I found people, but..." He paused.

"I also went to improve and get better. Like everyone else there. And I guess I just wasn't enough."

Frowning, you felt a pang in your heart and the initiative to reach out to him again.

"Don't say that, Meguru. You're amazing at soccer. You're always impressing everyone on the field, making everyone seem like a fool."

Bachira turned to face you, and you to him. "You really think so?"

"Of course. You're an amazing person, Meguru,” you told him with absolute certainty in your voice.

“I love you, (Y/N)-chan.”

“I love you too.” A pause. “Wait, what?” You sat up in the sand to look at Bachira, who lay beside you, smiling giddily up at you with a slight blush painting his cheeks. His hands were rested behind his head.

“I said I love you. And you love me, too.”

“I also missed you,” you added. Bachira noted how you never denied your loving him.

“I missed you, too. Did you know I never stopped talking about you one night that everyone on my team kicked me out of our room and I had to sleep in the bathroom that night?”

You laughed. “Did you really?”

“Yes! And it was so cold in there, too. No one gave me any blankets or anything!” The both of you laughed as you extended a hand to reach out to Bachira, helping him sit up on the sand. He never let go of your hand, and instead he clasped his fingers between yours. You both watched the intimacy of his actions, and you were slightly afraid he could feel the sudden warming of your hand.

Looking into his golden eyes, you could sense a seriousness about him. “You know, I wasn’t kidding about what I said,” he told you.

You had a feeling you knew what he was talking about, but you wanted to confirm it. “What did you say?”

“That I love you,” Bachira said.

“And I love you too,” you replied, pushing him down with you on top. Laughter rang in the air as you cupped his cheeks, shaking with his giggling.

“Shh, Meguru,” you said, leaning down. You gave him a soft kiss on his lips. Pulling away, he looked at you like you were his everything, as he placed a hand behind your neck to bring you down for another kiss. Whispers from others on the beach floated around you, some laughing at how ridiculous the two of you looked. Meguru opened his eyes to look in their direction, his insecurities from back when he was younger awakening.

“Meguru, don’t pay attention to ‘em. Who cares if they think we look weird? I’ve told you this before, but I don’t think you’re weird. I don’t think we’re weird!”

“Pssh, when did you tell me that?” He asked, before you leaned in to kiss him again.

#blue lock x reader #bl x reader #blue lock x you #bl x you #bachira meguru x reader #meguru bachira x reader #bachira x reader #bl bachira x reader #bachira meguru #blue lock bachira

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siivn · 2 years

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when i say that first and second were definitely lovers, some people always ask for evidence of my statement (like it's not obvious bruh) and i never know what to say.

so i finally sat down and brainstormed for a bit:

afo gave to yoichi the stockpiling quirk either to control him or as a peace offering

first was assumed to be quirkless but he wasn't because he had an invisible transferable quirk

stockpiling and transfering quirk came in contact with each other and boom ofa was born

but how did first discover that his quirk could be transferred through exchange of dna? now, it is natural to assume that afo gave the quirk through his own quirk, but this means no dna transfer of sorts happened that would hint to this specific of first's quirk

maybe with ofa, first could have become more powerful and blah blah, since he, like all might, had no other quirk to rely on. but this is only the stockpiling aspect so how in the hell did they figure out the transfer part? it would have had to involve a lot of dna exchange for them to discover something this specific

this is where first and second being lovers become relevant to our discussion

they were lovers

so they kissed (and did other things) a lot

kissing (and doing other things) includes a lot of dna exchange between two people

still, you could tell me, but ven, there's another requirement for the transfer to happen

yah yah, you're right. there has to be a will from the holder for ofa to transfer to another person

and this is where i raise you the angst component of my argument:

when yoichi is preparing for the final showdown against his brother, he is highly insecure of his possibility to come out victorious. insecure and also fearful of what would happen if afo wasn't stopped. to society and also to second, his love.

so he is there, fussing and worrying, spiralling into what if scenarios thare are one worse than the other. so second arrives and sees him in this state. obviously, he tries to reassure first, he stays near, comforts him with both words and actions.

but it's of no use, yoichi still worries. he lets second comfort him because it may be the last time he would ever get to be like this with second and wants to make good use of his time. but for the entire time, he worries and wishes for second to be safe, for his brother to be stopped, if not by him, then by someone else.

and he has these thoughts while they are kissing, so dna transfer is happening

but neither of them are aware of the transfer yet

it will only be when first dies that they realize that the quirk has been passed down.

second is nervously waiting for yoichi to return, hoping thar he will come out victorious, when he is suddenly feeling hollow and mournful. a warmth settles inside him, and with how similar it is to how he feels with first, plus the tight lump that has no reason to be there, there's no way he can deny the truth of the facts.

first dies by the hands of his own brother and second is informed of it by no one but the quirk that the love of his life left behind as a legacy.

(obviously, it's not like second has idea of the mechanics of the quirk right away, but just knowing what it is capable of it is a decent starting point. he figures out that it is transfered through dna exchange later, when a friend of his starts to get a little overpowered right after they drunk kissed one night as the burden of his battle against afo got too heavy on his shoulders and he just wanted for someone else to bear this responsibility with him)

so yeah, first and second were lovers and it's only because of their relationship if ofa was able to live on to it's ninth generation

#bnha #mha #one for all #rants n rambles #i don't know if anyone had a similar idea #ven

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praesidiumsystem-blog · 5 years

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i was so angry for so many days and i think im finally starting to calm down. i just wanted to scream and scream and scream and tear apart everything. him, myself, everyone, everything...

ive already worn myself out of everything i wanted to say really and i cant really tell if i feel better but... its something, maybe.

in my current grief cycle i’ve gone through denial and anger, and im like, on the second half of bargaining, i think im approaching the depression stage.

theres so much anger in my heart that i never express to anyone ever because i dont want anyone to hurt because of me but i am hurt and i have to put all of these feelings somewhere...

i just feel like i hate everything, i hate my parents, i hate the vampires, i hate ferid and i wish i could rip all of the veins out of his body one by one with a scalpel for what he did to us, what he did to mika...

i hate guren, i hate him so much and i dont have anywhere to put that feeling. im so angry about everything and ive done my best to just forget it and get over it, but im still so angry and it wears me out. im so tired...

i hate him for using me, for taking advantage of my anger and trauma so he could use me, i hate him for keeping everything from me, i hate him for always keeping me at arms length, i hate him for condescending to me, for shutting me out, for making me feel stupid all the time. i hate his holier-than-thou bullshit attitude, i hate him acting like he’s above everyone else. i hate how he treats shinoa, i hate how he treats me, i hate how he treats everyone. i hate him sacrificing people for “the greater good”, the greater good my ass. he wouldn’t know the greater good if it busted his face open. he doesn’t fucking know anything.

i hate him for laughing at me when i was angry or hurt, i hate him for constantly dismissing everything i ever felt, i hate him for telling me to shut up and get over it. i hate him for leading me on and toying with me and constantly shutting me down because i didn’t do everything exactly the way he wanted it done. that’s so fucking manipulative, to deny someone something they deserve because they didnt do it Precisely the way You wanted it done. fuck what he wants. god, fuck what he wants. he doesn’t fucking deserve anything either. he didn’t deserve shinoa and he didn’t deserve me or anyone else because he treated everyone like shit and constantly acted like he was better for it and that we were all immature idiots for giving a fuck about anyone else. i hate him, i hate him so much.

i hate caring about him, i hate loving him, i hate being in love with him, i hate myself for being transparent about it, i hate myself for being desperate and disgusting, disgusting, disgusting. i was so pathetic and thinking about how i was embarrasses the hell out of me and makes me want to die because its so humiliating, he expected me to be completely transparent with him about everything i felt and never fucking told me anything about himself, it was so fucking one sided, just one sided forever and ever and ever and fucking ever and his excuse for treating me like shit was that i was just a kid and i wouldn’t understand.

i would fucking understand things if you would explain them to me. i’m not as fucking stupid as he treats me, i hate how stupid he makes me feel, it makes me want to claw out of my fucking skin. i’m not stupid! i’m not fucking stupid!!!!!!! i’m not! stop fucking making me feel so fucking worthless as if i don’t already have a million and one fucking reasons to feel fucking worthless...

just wanted to hurt myself so fucking bad the past few days because i can’t cope with it, i just black out with rage and nothing can get through to me because i have so fucking much anger and none of it means fucking anything anymore because i’m not living that life anymore. and he just gets to walk away without ever paying for his shitty behavior and treatment of everyone because the timeline is gone now. that fucking sucks.

i hate having mirror touch, i hate it, it’s the worst fucking thing about being alive in this timeline because i can still feel him hitting me, i can still feel the shaking in my chest from how scared i was, i can still feel the ringing in my ears from how loud he would scream at me. he always made me terrified, of a million different things. was it worse for me to try to (and fail to) defend myself and make him want to throw me out because i was disobedient or worse for me fucking mentally to put up with playing his game and run back and forth like a fucking rat in a cage desperately trying to figure out which lever to push so I wouldn’t get fucking hit again. i hate him for making me crazy. i hate him for making me hate myself so much more than i already did.

if i wasn’t a seraph he would have let my ass fucking freeze to death probably, he didn’t give a fuck about me or anyone else, just himself and mahiru.

and like fuck mahiru but he Chose to do everything he did, he fucking had a choice and he chose and it was never me, I was never the choice, shinoa, yoichi, kimizuki, none of us were ever the fucking choice, ever. not once, even though we all risked our lives for His cause over and over and fucking over. because we loved him. because he was our family. he has a complex about killing his own girlfriend and somehow i get to be the lucky winner to pay for it for the rest of my fucking life because he never does anything wrong because he’s the adult and he knows what’s right. fuck him. god, fuck him so much. i hate him so much.

fuck him for putting his dead fucking demon girlfriend above me, above shinoa, above shinya, above fucking everyone else. fuck his guilt complex and his fucking dismissive abusive behavior. he made his fucking bed and he should lay in it without everybody fucking else becoming collateral for him. fuck him for hurting everyone else, not even to mention for hurting me, and he hurt me more than anyone else, because I cared about him more than anyone else did, despite everything.

he’s so fucking selfish, he has the nerve to tell me I’m being childish and selfish when the only fucking thing he ever thinks about is himself and his hurt feelings over his dead girlfriend. consider paying attention to the LIVING PEOPLE who are RISKING THEIR LIVES FOR YOU every fucking day you asshole instead of sitting around feeling fucking sorry for yourself and making everyone else pay for your selfish decisions and the mistakes you made that we had nothing to fucking do with.

if he thinks i’m so goddamn selfish and childish he should take a long fucking hard look in the mirror because he was the only influence i had growing up because no one else gave a fuck about me besides him and what he gave for me could barely be considered a fuck given the way i was treated.

is it that selfish and childish of me to want to be wanted by someone i care about? to want to be considered ever? to want to be kept in the loop and treated like my feelings matter, ever? to want some reassurance that my life has any value at all outside of my usefulness as a pawn? to want my efforts to be recognized? to want to be believed in and trusted? ever?

i was 16 fucking years old and he expects me to have the maturity of a 40 year old just because it’s war and somehow because i don’t have that maturity that he’s very unfairly expecting me to have i’m a certified useless annoying waste of fucking space that he can barely bother to pay attention to once every 3 months because Im just So Unbearably Annoying he can barely stand to remind me to go fuck myself every few weeks. war doesn’t fucking make me not 16 years old so it doesn’t give you an excuse to abuse the fuck out of me and never pay for it because the circumstances weren’t great for you and you were stressed about other shit. the circumstances werent fucking great for anyone and everyone else wasn’t abusing each other or taking everything out on everybody else. just fucking you. it was always just fucking you.

i could give a fuck about whatever was going on with kureto or the hiiragi’s or whatever the fuck, nothing he could possibly have went through would give him an excuse to abuse me or to treat everyone below him in a military sense like we were less valuable than single celled fucking organisms. but while he was busy rubbing in my face that he So Fucking Graciously and Kindly saved my fucking life so I owed him every atom of my fucking body, when the only reason he fucking saved me in the first place was for his own benefit, I’d already decided to support him whether it got me murdered by the government or not because I fucking loved him and I was on his side. peacing out because he cant resist his dead girlfriend anymore because he’s 2 deprezzed so he fucking stabs me in the stomach and tells everyone who loved him to go fuck ourselves is some real fucking gratitude.

im so angry, im so angry, im so angry. i have nowhere to put all of this anger. its never going to anywhere because i’ll never be able to say any of this to his face and make him sorry for everything he did. i don’t even think he’d be sorry anyway. he gets away with everything and everyone around him pays for it, that’s how it always was, and that’s how itll have to always be, and i just have to get used to it but i dont want to get used to it.

im so fucking angry because after everything, all of this anger is just because i want him to care, i want him to care about us, i want him to care about me. i want to have value, i want to matter. i want to be considered. i want to be worthy, i want to be deserving, i want to be important. i want to mean anything at all. anything, anything at all, anything, anything. if that makes me childish and selfish i guess i’ll just have to be that way forever and accept it if that makes me deserving of condescension and belittlement and neglect and mistreatment and abuse.but i don’t think it does. but he’s never going to be around to tell me that so it doesn’t matter, so i stay feeling like i don’t matter. there’s nowhere for these feelings to go, there’s never going to be anywhere for these feelings to go.

so every now and then i just have to let the rage take me and spend a few days having a meltdown alone in my room because i fucking refuse to make anyone else feel like my shit is their fault, because it’s not. i’m not fucking like him and i never will be, and no matter how much anger and hatred i feel, i will never stoop to that level because unlike him, i give a fuck, i give more fucks than anyone. because people deserve to have fucks given about them and people deserve to be treated fairly and kindly no matter what’s going on in my head.

i just wish he’d felt that we deserved that, too.

#[zephyr]

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