#clayface x teddy lupus

[legobatman08]

Feat of Clay - Matt "Clayface" Hagen / Ted Lupus

CW: Toxic Relationship; Unrequited Love; Escaping Abuse; Hurt/No Comfort (He Comforts Himself Lol); Teddy Lupus Being Unhealthily Whipped; Starts Off Very Canon Compliant Before Derailing; Matt Hagen Being An Asshole :(

We found Matt in his car.

Well, not entirely Matt. He was closer to a... sentient blob of clay.

It was a lot to process, sure. All that mattered to me was making sure he was okay, though. That's what anyone's first thought would've been, right? Obviously, he's my friend. Boss? Work partner? The lines had blurred in my brain at some point. Having a hopeless crush on him did little to make our boundary between a professional and a personal relationship solid.

I'd like to think I've been there for Matt for a lot of important stages in his life. At the very least, I've been in his life for a long while. I loved him before his accident, after it happened, then after Dagget's lousy scam of a product turned him into this... monster-like being, and I'll probably love him regardless of what happens to our already strained relationship in the future.

Then again, I shouldn't throw around the term "relationship" so loosely. The rational part of my brain keeps nagging that I mean little to nothing to him, and only has me around for convenience. It's probably right, but I'd like to imagine that it's a bit more than that. He calls me Teddy sometimes, and if I had just a smidge less of self control, I'd start kicking my feet and giggling everytime. I've deduced that he tolerates me better than most people; I mean, we're practically roommates at this point, and I took that as enough of a win to satisfy my stupid, yearning heart.

Unconditional love is a weakness.

It finally bit me in the ass after Matt turned into "Clayface". That's what he calls himself now. I would to tease him for the lack of originality, but I can't risk irritating him now.

He's been very on edge, for obvious and understandable reasons. He's gotten better at controlling his body, molds it to any shape or material he wants... I'm very happy for Matt, don't get me wrong!

What I'm concerned about is the violence. It's not exactly directed at me. Yet.

However, I'm getting worried. I'm sick of having to be weary of the man I love so deeply, as if he's a loaded gun.

I miss feeling comfortable around him.

I wish i didn't care this much. About him, about his well-being, about all of this. It brings me nothing but hurt. I'm no idiot, I know the attachment is unreciprocated, even if he hasn't outright told me so. I hope he doesn't know it's more to me than just the brotherly concern of a long-time friend.

But does it really matter anymore? I might as well be a doormat to him at this point. I've already had my self respect walked over, I don't have much else to lose.

When I enter the room to bring him food, Matt- no, Clayface, -is shouting at the TV. I wince, but try to get him to eat anyway.

Any sane person would be able to tell that he's too stressed. Fuck, even an insane person would be able to tell. I really am not the best at consoling people, all of my exes have kindly made me aware of that, but I felt like I absolutely had to say something to help him chill out, get his stress out a little. To hell with my integrity, a small part of me was even hoping I could help him de-stress in a certain way, fucking hell...

Apparently, I'm saying the wrong things. As always. Stupid Lupus, stupid fucking lovesick Teddy. Hagen stands up from the couch, menacing as always. He's always had that threatening aura, if I'm being honest, the "Clayface" thing only amplified it a bit. Steaming Christ, don't think I've seen him this pissed at me before.

"Don't you dare patronize me!", he yells as he points a finger in my face. I'm still holding the giant plate of food I cooked for Matt- nevermind, I suppose. He's knocked it out of my hands. Ouch.

Clayface leans in closer, towering over me. Out of fear, I back up a little, but what good does that do against a shapeshifter?

"I told you, I don't need rest. I don't need food. And I don't need you!"

Those are the last words I hear before a gigantic arm comes barrelling towards me, fingers extending uncannily. I'm frozen, seeing it in slow motion as Matt grabs me like a claw machine, and throws me across the room.

I've gotten demoted from doormat to ragdoll. Awesome, I think bitterly, right before my back hits the bookshelf. I fall to the floor with a thud, and by the time I regain my senses, Matt's already stormed out.

"And I don't need you!"

"I don't need you!"

It keeps replaying in my head.

Oh my fucking God. "I don't need you!"... For a minute, I think Scarecrow must've injected me with that goddamn fear toxin, for that moment felt like my worst nightmare come true. Unfortunately for me, it didn't just feel that way, it did come true.

I try to stand up, but I'm still trying to process everything. Matt. Clayface. My love. Hagen outright said he doesn't need me. He doesn't need me.

Matt doesn't need me. I'm useless to him. I'm a burden and an idiot. He doesn't need me around anymore since he's overcome human necessities like his career, eating, and friendship. Was it ever a friendship? I'm not sure anymore.

The realization hits me like a truck, and I stagger as I try to get up. Gripping the shelves until my knuckles turn white, I keep muttering like a broken record: "I don't need you. I don't need you. I don't need you. I don't need you!"

I don't know how long I stand there for. All I know is it feels like years. Why does it hurt so bad? I've always known deep down that I didn't mean much to him, so why am I having such a reaction to him actually admitting to it?

Well, I practically lost my life's purpose. I've been working for only him for years by now, but I guess that devotion's all out the window now. Why did I even bother in the first place? Something like this was completely inevitable, and I knew it.

God damn it, Matt, why does it hurt this bad?

I look down at the books that fell from the shelves upon impact. Should I bother picking them up? It probably doesn't matter, but I do it anyway, methodically, as a distraction.

How can I live like this? Why have I endured this for so many years? What's tying me down with him?

How has he kept me on a short leash without any protest from my part, like a loyal fucking dog?

I used to keep telling myself that Matt needed me. At first I was his assistant, he needed my advice; Then he needed me to take care of him due to his accident.

"I don't need you."

He doesn't need me? Okay. Okay! I can handle this. I'm an adult, I'm a man. I can handle this, even if I feel like I've been stabbed in the chest a thousand times over. He doesn't need me? Okay. Good, then he won't have any problem with not having me around.

As much as it hurts, I need to leave. I need to escape, as soon as possible, before Clayface gets back.

...What if he still needs me around to keep him in check, though? I can't help but feel guilty. No! Stop being a dumbass, Teddy, he said he doesn't need me and threw me across the damn room! For once in my miserable fucking life, I need to make a decision in favor of my own well-being. I won't be a punching bag.

Ha, ironic, right? "I won't be a punching bag", as if I haven't been one for as long as I can remember already. Bleeding Jesus, how much more pathetic can I get? I feel like throwing up out of self-repulsion alone.

Not giving myself a chance to overthink it, I climb out the window, rush to my car and drive away with no destination in mind.

Driving away from Matt slowly makes me realize how helpless of a situation I've gotten myself into. I've always been a weed attached to some actor with a blooming career, even before I started working with Hagen. I have nobody to rely on. No job... No place to stay... I'm starting fresh.

Gotham loves a comeback story... Time for the rebirth of Theodore Lupus, as his own person.

#clayface #clayface fanfiction #matt hagen #teddy lupus #matt hagen x teddy lupus #batman animated series #clayface x teddy lupus #batman animated series fanfiction #batman fanfiction #DC #dcu #writeblr #hurt/no comfort #angst #toxic relationship #✰ batman #btas #btas clayface #✰ chemi posti

[starspatter]

DCAU for the shipping asks ;)

Ship that you have as an OTP: Tim Drake/Timmy Todd x Stephanie BrownShip that you’re indifferent to: Bruce x Zatanna?  They were kinda cute, though he friendzoned her before they had any chance to develop, so there goes that.Ship that makes you sad: Bruce x Diana (for how their relationship ended in JL 2.0) and Tim x AnnieShip that you find disgusting: Bruce x Dick or Tim.  Just… no.Ship that you find cute but don’t ship: DickBabs - honestly DCAU Dick’s kinda whiny/petty, and Babs never actually seemed that serious about him to begin with.  It’s unfortunate they parted on such bitter terms though.  I like them more as old friends once they’ve patched things up.Ship that you secretly like: JJ/Tim x Ace (from Justice League, not the dog), based on similar experiences with the JokerShip that you used to have as an OTP: Tim x Annie (before she was revealed to be a part of Clayface and absorbed back into him ;; )Ship that you find most sexy: Um, DickBabs?Ship that you can never see happening: Bruce x Talia or Lois.  Talia’s too controlled by her crazy father (literally in BB), and Lois, well - we all know who her heart really belongs to.Ship that is canon but you don’t ship: Does BatCat count?Ship that is unpopular but you still like: Tim Drake x Virgil Hawkins (although I also ship Static x Gear), TimKara (in our AU ;P), also Conner Kent x Cassandra Cain (it’s… explained in my upcoming fic ^^; )Ship that is taboo: BruceBabs, although I actually don’t mind it in the sense that they’re two consenting adults.  See below though.Ship that pisses you off: BruceBabs, mostly for how it affected both their relationships with Dick and tore apart the family right when Tim needed them most. -.-Ship you’re curious about: Recently Matt Hagen/Clayface x Teddy Lupus, and also Tim x Starfire (if she existed in the Titans at the time he was a member)Ship that needs more love: TimSteph *shot* and SuperBats ;OShip that is most misunderstood: Joker x Harley, in that they are clearly in an abusive relationship which is toxic and unhealthy.  Harley would be much better off with Pam.

#immavampirekiwi #starspeaks