#cryingwithwords

[litpieceofshit]

My chest feels heavy, and I can't breathe. I want to cry, but I can't. I don't have the freedom to cry without giving an explanation to my people. What am I supposed to tell them? The fact that I will keep on searching for closure? The fact that I still keep searching for you in every person I meet? The fact that I still love you with my whole heart that I don't allow anyone else to pave a way in? The fact that I'm still there where I was five years ago, waiting for you to just tell me why shit happened the way it happened?! The fact that, no matter how hard I try not to think of you, I do end up doing it once in a while and go down the memory wishing never to come back? The fact that the hopeless romantic in me is dying a painful death every other day as I move towards a void? The fact that I feel damaged and incapable of loving people anymore? The fact that there's a hole inside me that I cannot stop from getting bigger everyday? The fact that on days when the clouds turn a bit dark, I think of you and cry myself to sleep? Why does everything has to be so complicated and sad? Why can't I just go back to the normal life I had?

#love #writers #writing #cryingwithwords #whyamilikethis #her #lgbt #missing #existential dread #life #words