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reddielibrary · 4 years

Text

everything changes (when the sun goes down)

Written by @richictozicr

Gift for @stansbooty

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Word count: 10,167

Rating: Mature

AO3 Link

Summary: Gifted separate powers from Maturin, the seven Losers are brought together at age 13 and given five years to perfect their gifts before ultimately coming to face the unnamed monster that they call IT. Richie Tozier knows their survival odds are slim, they don't know enough about what they're fighting for it to be any other way, and before the time to face this monster comes and they inevitably die, all he wants is to be brave enough to finally tell Eddie Kaspbrak how he actually feels about him. But his clock is close to running out.

Eddie was waiting for him around the corner of the school, in an alley that was often left empty and secluded. The moment he saw Richie’s bruised face, he gaped at him and moved forward, hands coming out to touch him by the shoulder. The first time Eddie had reached for him like that when he was bruised and injured, he had flinched away on instinct. He didn't now.

“Shit, Rich, what the fuck happened?”

Richie shrugged. “Tyler and his dickhead friends. The only thing that ever happens, really.”

Eddie studied him carefully, knowing there was more and trying to decide if he would get anything more out of Richie if he pressed him. He wouldn’t today and he seemed to know it because he just said, “Okay, sit down then, fuck.”

Richie hesitated and then shook his head. “Let’s just go to the Barrens. Do it there.”

“Your face is fucking blue and black, Richie! What if we run into your mom? What are you going to do then, dickwad? Tell her you tripped and tonight tell her that it just went away? Really? Because if you do that, you better fucking record it because I’m going to want to see that shit go down.”

“When do we ever run into her?” Richie asked in exasperation. He knew he was right, the way to the Barrens was pretty much empty and the odds of running into either of his parents were a million to one. But he could tell by the way Eddie spoke that it came from worry for Richie so he lowered himself onto the ground against the wall for Eddie to work. “Just be fast.”

“I’m always fast,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes.

Richie smirked, unable to help himself, and said, “For whatever girl swipes your v-card, I really fucking hope not.”

Eddie scowled at him furiously. “Hey, asshole, do you want me to fucking do this or not? Cuz you can just stay all swollen and bruised up and gross and shit, won’t bother me.” He stared down at Richie challengingly for a moment and then cupped Riche’s face in his hands, ignoring the taller boy’s hiss at the feeling. Once the initial sting left, Richie tried to ignore how hard his heart was beating in his chest because of the contact, keeping his eyes set on the ground below them.

Richie could feel the tingling sensation of the bruises and split lip healing up and then it was over and Eddie’s touch was gone and, even though he’d just been fucking healed, he felt almost as if he were missing something. “Thanks,” he said quietly, pushing himself to his feet clumsily. Eddie reached to help him, his hands clasping around Richie’s left arm, and Richie looked at him just in time for their eyes to meet. He glanced away quickly, unable to bring himself to hold contact, not when he still had the words that had prompted his dumb ass to hit a bully in the face ringing in his head. Fag, fairy . He hated it, he was sick of it, and standing up to them had been worth the ass-kicking he had gotten just thirty minutes ago. “We should go.”

He could feel Eddie’s confused gaze tearing into him as Richie started to walk through the alley, stuffing his hands in his pockets. It was only seconds before Eddie had caught up to him, which was rather impressive given how much longer Richie’s legs were. “You’re getting good at that,” Richie said, unable to stand the silence between them. "At fixing us up like that."

Eddie offered a half-shrug in response. “It’s been a few years.” Five, to be exact.

It had started with Bill, the year they turned thirteen. His little brother had died horribly, his arm torn off never to be found, and then Bill had heard Georgie’s voice one night when he had gone into his empty bedroom. It kept happening and Bill had thought he was losing his mind with grief until he saw him in the basement. That was Bill’s gift: mediumship or something like that.

Right after Bill was Mike, even though they weren’t quite friends yet. When being nearly run over by Bowers, he had managed to create a force field for himself that had probably saved his life or at least saved him from several broken bones. Stan was next; discovering that he had the ability to leave his body and travel through various realms of existence.

Next to gain abilities had been Beverly. She had sought them out because of her visions, claiming that if they didn’t band together they would all be dead in five years’ time, and so would half the town at least. Eddie had soon after healed Ben from his run-in with Bowers. In the following days, Ben realized he had control over the earth and its properties. Richie was last, much to his frustration.

His abilities had refused to show at all until the day that they met Mike, the day that they became the Lucky Seven. It was immediately following the rock fight when, as Bowers and his crew went clambering back up the hill, Richie had managed to animate a piece of rope that was lying on the ground. It had immediately set itself to tripping Bowers, further humiliating him as he made his exit.

The truth was that life as witches was really not much different from life had been when they were thirteen-years-old. Richie still went to school, hung out with his friends, got his ass kicked either for existing or some dumb comment he had made (granted, his gift of animation also led to him getting himself into trouble when attempting to get back at bullies), and then hung out with his friends some more. The only thing that had changed was that instead of just sitting around reading comics or building dams, they practiced.

They had to be ready was the short of it. Mike, Bill, Bev, and Stan kept reminding them of that, that they had these powers for a reason, that It was coming back. It, that had killed Georgie and several other kids, had been biding its time and waiting but time was almost up. Stan was the one who had initially passed the message along. He claimed that their abilities had been gifted to them by Maturin, that he had called Stan to another Realm and explained that they were the only ones who could stop It.

It and Maturin were ancient creatures from another dimension. There wasn’t an exact word for whatever It was, really, but Bill had taken to calling it a Glamour, after a Gaelic entity, and that fit well enough. It had crossed over to their realm and, while Maturin was unable to follow, he had gifted the seven Losers their abilities so that they could stop It when it struck again.

Richie didn’t understand it and had been very vocal about it through the years, that picking seven kids seemingly at random to save the fucking world or town or whatever was illogical, but the others only ignored him when he brought it up and the truth was he knew it wasn’t important. Illogical or not, it was true and they had to learn how to possibly fight something that they knew nearly nothing about.

Now, he stopped as they reached the entrance to the clubhouse, the main place that they had taken to practicing during the day. At night they’d branch out to the barrens or the quarry, but not usually during the day. He looked up at Eddie through his glasses with a small smirk. “Want me to go first so I can catch you?”

“Shut up asshole,” was the simple response, though the other boy was smiling as he moved past him and climbed down. Richie chuckled to himself as he followed, dropping easily onto the dirt as he turned and surveyed the other losers. They’d grown up a lot over the years. Mike and Ben were both shaped like jocks, though only Mike was out of the two. Ben had a particular disdain for the main coach at school.

Beverly had grown into herself beautifully, and if Richie wasn’t painfully in love with someone else or good friends with someone in love with her, he might have asked her out. She sat on the old hammock now, a cigarette placed between two fingers as one ripped-jean-clad leg hung out of the hammock. Richie easily made his way to her side and she handed him a smoke without a word. “You’re old enough to buy your own as of last month,” she said simply but lit the end of it for him anyway.

“Ah, but yours are so much better Bevvy,” he told her, grinning around the cigarette between his teeth, his hands coming to rest on one of the beams holding it up as he easily swung himself back and forth. “You give them to me with love.”

“I give them to you out of tolerance ,” she replied with a loose grin, putting one booted foot up against his abdomen and pushing a little so that the hammock swung slightly back. Richie laughed and glanced back at the other Losers, bringing one hand down to pull his cigarette out of his mouth as he exhaled the smoke.

“Do we know when exactly we’re all set to die by the way?” Richie asked lightly, leading to Bev kicking him lightly and dropping her foot.

“Beep beep,” she said as she swung back and forth and Richie shrugged his shoulders lightly as though he wasn’t actually fucking terrified that Bev had said they would be dead in five years five fucking years ago.

“I haven’t seen anything,” she said quietly. “Not yet.”

“Then we better puh-puh-prepare,” Bill said, shoving himself off of the wall.

______

It was another month before anything changed and the waiting was easily the worst part. Richie found himself crawling through Eddie’s window more nights than one in an attempt to find some way to get through the night. Sometime this year, they would all die, but it wasn’t his own death he was afraid of. He couldn’t shake the vivid image that Bev’s words had painted that day so long ago, couldn’t shake the image of Eddie bleeding and wounded, impaled over him.

The day it all changed started with a bang. Richie woke up with sunlight streaming into the room and Eddie frantically shaking him to the point that he ended up rolling right off of the bed and crashing with a thud onto the ground. Grunting, he pushed himself up onto one elbow and looked at his friend with a sleepy expression, trying to figure out why the hell he was on the floor instead of the warm bed with the familiar, warm body.

Panic hit him then, panic that he had said or done something to give himself away, that he had spoken in his sleep, said Eddie’s name or something else, or that he had- For a terrible moment, he wondered if he had gotten morning wood but quickly realized that wasn’t the issue.

“We overslept,” Eddie hissed at him, throwing himself out of the bed as well and going to open the window. “You gotta go! Do you know what will happen if my mom catches you here? She will actually fucking combust, okay? She will fucking explode and you and I will both fucking die so I need you to fucking leave.”

Groaning Richie got to his feet and rolled his shoulders back as his face twisted into a grimace. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going. We used to have sleepovers all the time, I don’t know why it would suddenly be so bad.” But neither of them said anything to that because they both knew. They knew when Sonia Kaspbrak had become less tolerant of Richie being around the house, being around Eddie. They both knew that it was when whispers and taunts started being thrown the way that he liked boys. That was when she had gone from barely tolerating him to seeing him as too dirty, as something that would infect her little Eddie-Bear . Never mind that they were just rumors, or that he wasn't even gay, he was bisexual (not that Richie actually thought she would think that better). None of it mattered.

Richie opened the window again and slid his lanky legs out of it, leaning back with his hands on the raised window to look back at Eddie. “See you at the clubhouse later, Spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie shot back as Richie laughed quietly, blew him a dramatic kiss for flare, and slid out of the window.

He went home, snuck in through his own window, changed clothes to a Rolling Stones t-shirt, an open button-up, and black, ripped jeans. He pulled on purple high tops and then went to the kitchen to eat with his parents. He was doing one of his impressions as his father laughed with the paper open (Richie was pretty sure his parents were two of the only people on the planet who actually read the paper anymore) when his phone beeped with a text.

He slid it out of his pocket and glanced down, his stomach dropping instantly as he saw it.

Bev 8:45 AM: Clubhouse. Now.

The text was rather ominous as it was, but as soon as he saw that it was to the entire group, he felt it. She knew something and all that Richie could do was hope that it wasn’t too late, that nobody was dead yet and, selfishly, he hoped that if someone was, it wasn’t one of the Losers. He excused himself as quickly and subtly as he could, hoping he didn’t look as sick as he felt, and started his trek to the Clubhouse, forcing himself not to cave and go by Eddie’s first.

As soon as he climbed down into the clubhouse, he felt the melancholic vibes, felt the seriousness of it. “What’s going on?” he asked, eyes flickering between them.

“Dunno yet,” Ben said, glancing at Bev, who was sitting on the ground against the wall, her hand shaking as she brought her cigarette to her lips. “Bev wanted to wait till we were all here to go through it all.”

Richie glanced at her and nodded before looking over the others. Bill stood next to Mike and Stan, all three of them pale with eyes set on Bev. Finally, his gaze stopped on Eddie, who was laying in the hammock, face creased with worry and anxiety. He went to stand beside the small boy on the hammock, one hand going to rest at the rope tying it to the ceiling. Once he was still, Bev started to speak.

_____

They were going to die. That was pretty much set in stone, even if no one was going to say it. It was back and they had one day to prepare to stop It. If they didn’t, they would die and it would feast on the town with nothing to slow it down. Bev had seen it all in her dreams the night before, had seen every detail. She didn’t tell them everything, but she didn’t have to. It was easy to see in how pale she was, how she shook as she sat there that it was going to be gruesome and none of their deaths were going to be easy. They would hurt, they would probably be bloody, and they probably wouldn’t end fast enough.

After she had finished, Stan had sat down in a corner and gone into another dimension in hopes of finding something to help them. So far he had found nothing but he seemed determined to keep trying. Richie was sure he would try all through the night.

The entire day was spent in practice, each of them working on their individual abilities, knowing they had to be better if they had any hope. Every so often, Bev would try to take a look at the future to see if it had changed. It hadn’t. They used different ideas of how to work together in both offense and defense, but it was to no real avail from what Beverly could tell.

When Bill called it for the night and told them all to go home and rest, to take advantage of time with loved ones, it was clear. This was a classic “last night on earth”.

They went separate ways, no one setting out to walk entirely on their own. Ben and Richie went together, hands in pockets as they wandered down the darkening streets. It wasn’t until they reached Richie’s block that Ben spoke up. “You should tell Eddie,” he said, voice scratching a little as it left his throat.

When Richie dared to look up, Ben’s eyes were settled on him and they shone with that determined look that Richie had always admired in him. He considered playing dumb, but it would be stupid. The truth was, he and Ben had never sat down and had a heart to heart about their individual pining, but they both knew. They bonded over it, somehow, even with the reluctance to speak of it. “I dunno,” he said quietly instead, feeling more cowardly than he ever had before.

“I’m gonna tell Bev,” Ben said finally. “I’m going to go home and call her, invite her over, let her hang out with me and my mom. My mom loves her, you know? And then… I dunno, after Mom goes to bed, I want to tell her.” He shrugged his muscular shoulders with a small smile as Richie gaped at him. “I have nothing to lose, right? If we’re going to die tomorrow… I want to die with my cards on the table.”

Richie felt like the ground had dropped out below him, unsure of what to say or even what to think. What would it be like to not harbor that secret? It was too difficult to imagine, too foreign. It was hard to remember a time that he wasn’t yearning for Eddie, that he wasn’t trying to act like every touch didn’t make his heart skyrocket in his chest.

“I think you should too,” Ben said softly, watching Richie with an empathetic look that said he understood. Richie knew he did.

“It’s different,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “It’s more complicated.”

He almost expected Ben to get frustrated, maybe tell him that love was love or some shit. Instead, Ben gave him a sad smile and said, “I know.” And something about those two words of confirmation actually made Richie feel better. Maybe it would be easier if they didn’t live in Derry, if Eddie’s mom wasn’t so prejudiced and hateful if the odds weren’t that Eddie was fucking straight. “But he looks at you too.” Richie stopped in his tracks, staring at Ben as if he had just spoken Klingon. Before he could even think of a response, Ben just smiled and patted him on the shoulder before going into his house.

Rich walked the rest of his way home alone, hands in his pockets, and when he got home, he ate with his parents and watched them as if trying to memorize their movements and the way they spoke. He watched his dad do a terrible Cookie Monster impression in an attempt to get Richie to lighten his mood, and he succeeded a little bit, though not enough to make them think nothing was wrong. Even Richie didn’t have a real cover to hide behind tonight. In the morning, he would go to meet the Losers to get ready and he may never see the two people who had raised him again. And nothing about that thought was okay.

He stayed up with them until they headed for their room at about ten o’clock, his mom pausing to kiss the top of his head and brush his cheek with her knuckles. He turned around, arm resting on the back of the couch, and watched them disappear from view. He sat there for another fifteen minutes before he made up his mind. He pulled out his phone and sent Ben a quick text of Thanks and then went out the front door.

By the time he was outside of Eddie’s window, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to follow through, if he would be able to tell Eddie the truth, that he had been in love with him since he knew what love was, but he knew that if he was going to die in 24 hours he wanted to spend this last chance for quality time with him at his side. It didn’t take long at all for him to realize the window was already opened and with a small flutter of his heart, he wondered if Eddie had done that purposefully in hopes he would come over. With the help of the once again animated tree, Richie hoisted himself into Eddie’s bedroom window into the dark room.

He landed ungracefully on the floor and when he looked up, he saw Eddie sitting on the edge of his bed with a small smile of amusement, dressed in a light purple t-shirt and checkered sleep pants. “Nice landing, Rich,” he said dully. Richie grinned up at him and crawled to the bed, pulling himself up to sit beside Eddie, only for Eddie to push him back onto the floor. “Hey, Rich, you’re still in your clothes you were in today and they’re filthy. We were in dirty water and dirt and Ben’s powers literally are controlling dirt, do not put your dirty ass on my bed and will you stop fucking grinning at me? I’m serious and I’m getting you clean clothes to sleep in.” He was still muttering about Richie’s filthy clothes and how he had half a mind to make him shower before letting him anywhere near his bed. Richie sat on the ground with a grin and leaned back on his hands.

Then Eddie stood over him with folded pants and a shirt in his hands and an expectant quirk of his brows. Richie got to his feet and took the clothes from him, watching as Eddie went to lay in one side of the bed and picked up his phone, the light of his phone shining against his face and against the headboard... Richie hesitated for a brief moment before shrugging off his overshirt and tugging off his t-shirt. He replaced them quickly with the clean one of Eddie’s and then unbuttoned his jeans to pull them down and off his hips. Before he could, his eyes lifted and he realized with a jolt that Eddie was looking at him, his features illuminated by the light of his phone still facing towards him. Richie couldn’t read his expression to save his life, especially since the moment that their eyes met, Eddie flushed and looked away, taking away any opportunity for Richie to figure it out. He pushed his jeans down most of the way and kicked them off the rest of it before pulling on the sleep pants and crawling into the bed beside Eddie.

As soon as Richie was in the bed, Eddie put his phone away and rolled over so that they were facing each other, the only sound in the room the quiet breathing between them. Richie found himself overwhelmed by the desire to reach out and touch Eddie’s cheek, to pull him into his chest and hold him like he hadn’t dared to for years. Eddie touched him first, causing Richie’s chest to contract around his furiously beating heart.

Eddie brushed his fingers over the glasses still on Richie’s face, tracing the frame all the way to Richie’s ear. It was suddenly very hard to breathe and Richie was forcing himself to, wondering if it sounded labored or not, not daring to take his eyes away from Eddie’s, not even daring to blink. “You left your glasses on,” the other boy whispered into the darkness.

The look on Eddie’s face was one that Richie hadn’t seen there before, he was pretty sure. There was something open and hard to read about it all at the same time, his eyelids lowered as he stared at Richie’s face, his lips parted just a little, just enough to be the biggest temptation Richie had ever faced in his life. He couldn’t even hear Eddie’s breathing it was so shallow.

“All the better to see you with my dear,” Richie croaked out in the best Grandma voice he could possibly do with Eddie this close and looking at him like that. Eddie snorted and carefully pulled off Richie’s glasses, the taller boy lifting his head off the pillow to help him. It was an intimate movement, Eddie’s hand brushing over Richie’s face carefully and, even without his glasses, Richie could see the care that Eddie folded them with before setting them on the nightstand.

“Ben’s telling Bev he’s in love with her,” Richie blurted, not even sure why. Part of him thought that it was to try to get the courage to tell Eddie the same thing, but part of him was thoroughly convinced that there was no way he’d find the courage at all.

Eddie nodded his head slowly, his hair brushing over the white pillowcase as he did. God, Richie wanted to run his hands through it in a completely non-platonic way, just once in his life. He wondered briefly if Eddie would say anything if he tried. “I thought he might,” he whispered back.

“Would you?” Richie asked softly, amazed at how strange his voice sounded, how unlike his own. “If you were… in love with Bill?”

Eddie stared at him then as if he had turned into a frog. “If I was in love with Bill,” he repeated dumbly and it almost sounded like he was giving Richie a chance to correct himself. Richie, however, had no idea what to say and, given how close they were and that they could die tomorrow, couldn’t figure out what was wrong with his question so he just nodded.

They looked at each other for a long moment then, Eddie’s gaze disbelieving and borderline annoyed, Richie’s a numb surprise that might have been at his own statement or at Eddie’s response. Finally, Eddie groaned and whispered, “You are the smartest dumbass I have ever met”, cupped Richie’s cheeks, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

He didn’t even feel surprised, Richie would notice later when he looked back on it. It felt too right to question it. Richie kissed Eddie back with fervor, his hand fumbling to cup the back of his neck and pull him in closer to him, suddenly frustrated that he was laying on his left arm. But it was over before he could free it, Eddie not even an inch away, lips still parted just like earlier (though now slick with saliva), eyes still closed. Richie took in the sight, his own breathing so shallow that he was surprised that he was getting enough oxygen at all.

He slowly brought his hand from the back of Eddie’s neck to his cheek, thumb tracing over his jaw gently, wiggling his right arm out from under him and reaching up to take one of Eddie’s. “I was gonna do that,” he whispered.

“You took too long,” Eddie murmured, slowly opening his gorgeous brown eyes. “And then you started talking about Bill and I just-” Richie cut him off, kissing him deeply and passionately with a low hum.

Eddie surprised him again, taking charge quickly as he ran his tongue over Richie’s bottom lip, which encouraged a moan from the taller boy. Seemingly spurred on by the response that he received, Eddie moved his hands to either side of Richie’s waist and rolled him onto his back, climbing on top of him and straddling him easily without breaking the kiss once. Richie made a muffled sound of surprise into his mouth, one hand coming to rest at Eddie’s hip and one finally burying itself in Eddie’s hair.

Eddie made a sound that made something low in Richie’s gut coil and all he could think about was getting him to make that sound again. He wrapped his arms tightly around Eddie’s waist then before flipping them over so that Eddie’s back landed on the mattress, prompting another low groan from the back of Eddie’s throat and Richie smirked into the kiss. But then Eddie was parting from it and they were staring at each other and Eddie’s pupils were blown with want.

“Is it okay if we… just do this tonight?” he whispered finally.

Richie blinked in surprise before saying, “Yeah, Eds, I didn’t even-”

Eddie cut him off before he could finish, “I just- I want to. I really want to, but I also… God, I want us to have… I don’t want to die before I get to have sex with you and so maybe…”

Richie felt himself grin a little as he finished, “Maybe we’ll stay alive then. So we can.” Eddie flushed and nodded, looking embarrassed. “You’re so fucking cute,” Richie whispered, reaching down to pinch at Eddie’s cheek. Eddie was fighting back a grin as he smacked Richie’s hand away playfully. “You know what? I think that’s pretty fucking smart.” Richie ran his fingers carefully through Eddie’s dark hair before using his hold there to tug him lower. “But c’mere and kiss me some more before bed, hmm?”

With a wide grin, Eddie leaned up, pausing with his lips a tantalizingly close distance from Richie’s, his hands coming to the hem of Rich’s shirt. “What do you think about having a little more contact though?” he whispered, lips almost brushing against Richie’s.

“I think you’re a fucking genius,” Richie said with a grin, leaning up to pull off his shirt. When his eyes fell back to Eddie, the smaller boy was in the process of doing the same and then his shirt landed on the floor somewhere next to Richie’s. He was tempted to make a joke about Eddie’s mom, just to cut the tension, but he found it impossible to speak when he was suddenly able to look at Eddie like he had been wanting to for so fucking long. He slowly traced his fingers over the lean muscles of Eddie’s abdomen and sucked in a sharp intake of breath, his eyes meeting Eddie’s hungrily. The other boy looked just as affected, just as lustful, his hand on Riche’s chest as well, and then they were kissing each other again, more desperately than before.

They spent most of the night like that, kissing, touching each other, whispering things like “We’re gonna make it”. By the end of the night, with Eddie in his arms and their chests pressed against each other, Richie almost believed it.

_____

Eddie’s alarm was the first thing that Richie heard in the morning, and he spent about five seconds trying to ignore it before he remembered what that alarm meant and what today was. He forced his eyes open and blinked hazily at Eddie, who was curled into him, head dipped into Richie’s chest, his breath tickling the skin and hair there. With some difficulty, Richie reached over and fumbled to find Eddie’s phone without disturbing him. When he finally got the alarm to stop, he pulled his arm back carefully, bringing his hand to cup Eddie’s jaw lightly as he let his eyes roam over his sleeping form.

His shirt was still off, his pants hanging loosely on his hips, revealing the curve of the bone beneath it and making Richie’s throat go dry at the sight. He let his other hand go down to Eddie’s hip and carefully rested his hand on it, his fingers tracing his hip bone in a feather-light touch. Eddie twitched a little in his sleep and Richie froze his fingers, looking down at his form as he wrestled with himself, knowing he ought to wake him up, that they had alarms set for a reason. He wanted to stay like this, to feel Eddie against him like he might not get to again, wanted to take in the sight. Suddenly, he felt ridiculous for taking so long in the first place.

He slowly leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Eddie’s temple, letting his thumb rub circles just above the hem of his pants. “Morning, Eds,” he whispered softly, ducking his head to nose affectionately at the skin. There was a soft mumble of response as Eddie burrowed his head further into Richie’s chest. Richie carefully ran his fingers through Eddie's hair, leaning down to kiss his temple again. "I really would prefer us to stay here but…"

Eddie made a soft sound and pulled his head away from Richie's chest so he could look up at him, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. "Shit, right," he half mumbled, stretching carefully. He slid his hand to the back of Richie's head and carefully tugged him down and kissed him softly on the mouth. When he parted, Eddie’s eyes looked a little bit more alert as he looked back at Richie, his fingers still going through his dark curls. “Should have done this sooner.”

Richie closed his eyes and found himself leaning forward, letting his forehead brush lightly on Eddie’s. “Yeah, I know.” He leaned forward and kissed him again, slowly, adoringly, before parting and whispering reluctantly, “I need to go home… Before my parents get worried… I can pick you up on the way to the Clubhouse?” Eddie nodded slowly, his forehead rubbing a little on Richie’s as he did. Slowly Richie reached past him and took his glasses from the nightstand, sliding them onto his face with ease.

It was with severe reluctance that Richie slid out of bed and worked his way out of Eddie’s sweatpants before pulling on his jeans. When he glanced over his shoulder he saw brown eyes watching his every move intently. Eddie’s eyes were dark with lust and he looked unashamed to be caught looking, though his face was turning redder by the second. Richie grinned and buttoned his jeans before sliding back onto the bed, cupping the side of Eddie’s neck as he kissed him deeply. The kiss was returned with a forcefulness that before last night Richie wouldn’t have expected, but he knew now.

He had to force himself away so that he could pull his shirt on before pulling on his socks and shoes. He felt Eddie rubbing his back and closed his eyes as he leaned into it, letting out a soft hum. “I’ll be back in a few hours,” he murmured quietly.

Eddie pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades and whispered, “I know. I’ll see you then.” Richie turned and caught his lips in a quick, soft kiss before getting up and crossing to the window. He glanced back and looked at Eddie for a long moment as if he might never see him again which was ridiculous because they were going to see each other in a few hours and surely wouldn’t die before that. But all the same, how could he act like it was just another day? Like there wasn’t a reason they had finally had the courage to be honest with each other?

Forcing himself away, Richie climbed out of the window.

The morning was long. It was hard to pretend to be normal with his parents that morning, but Richie did his best, probably even better than he had done the night before. He laughed at the jokes from his dad, shot some back in return, did the voices that he knew they liked the best. And then he hugged his dad and kissed his mom on the cheek before leaving the house to get Eddie, trying to distract himself from how heavy his heart was as he did.

Getting Eddie was easier though and he felt a little bit more able to make himself think that they weren’t about to die tonight. Mrs. K opened the door when he knocked and Richie channeled all of his nervous energy into being the obnoxious kid that she knew and hated, instantly saying, “Hey-o Mrs. K! Top o’ the mornin’ to yah now! I’m here to collect Eddie, I am! We have important business of which to attend, yah see!”

Her eyes narrowed in that way it did when she was about to say something nasty, but before she could Eddie was shouldering past her. He paused to kiss her on the cheek and say a quick ‘bye mom’ before grabbing Richie at the elbow and pulling him down the walkway.

“Ah, yes, must be going now! Chop chop!” Richie said loudly as they rounded the corner. He could almost see the stink eye that he was getting through the tree and side of the house.

Eddie ducked his head, his lips curving as if trying not to laugh. “You don’t have to turn it to 150% with her every time, you know. She already doesn’t like you.”

“Aye,” Richie said, not dropping the accent until he continued, “but that’s just because she knows how much I like you.” He tossed his arm around Eddie’s neck and pinched at his cheeks. “Cuz you’re cute! Cute cute cute!”

Eddie made a strangled sound and leaned his entire body away from Richie, smacking lightly at his side as the taller boy’s arm dropped. “I hate it when you do that!”

“No you don’t,” Richie told him with a smile. Eddie failed to hide his own warm smile as he set his eyes on the sidewalk beneath them, instead of reaching out to intertwine his fingers with Richie’s.

As soon as they got into the Clubhouse, Richie’s eyes went to Stan sitting on the ground, eyes glazed over as he leaned his head back. By this point, it hardly took even a second for Richie to recognize that his friend was traveling astral planes. He glanced at the others wearily in a silent question. Without needing words at all, Mike said, “He’s getting information, he finally started getting stuff this morning. So far he’s figured out where It is. Under the house on Neibolt, in the sewers.

Eddie groaned and muttered, “Of course it is. Fucking disgusting.” Richie felt his lips quirk in the corner and reached out to take his hand again, not caring about the other Losers. He wasn’t sure if it was Last Day On Earth mentality or simply how long he’d wanted to do this, but he found it hard to care and judging by the way Eddie was gripping his hand in return he didn’t either.

It was only then that Richie noticed Bev positioned between Ben’s legs on the hammock, her head on his chest as they swung idly back and forth. Good for them. Richie caught Ben’s eye and smiled softly, offering a small thumbs up that made Ben laugh a little as he returned it.

They didn’t stay idle for long, quickly falling into their individual training exercises. Richie, Mike, and Ben moved to practice at the Quarry as they often did, and when they returned, there was a collection of weapons on the ground between their friends. It was a good idea, really, given that of the gifts, Richie and Ben had the most aggressive ones among them, but the sight of the weapons still filled Richie with an uncontrollable sense of dread. Maybe it was the reminder that this thing they were doing really was so dangerous to require things like an old machete, a fire poker, and so on. If they needed that stuff, they were really in deep shit.

When the sun started to set, the Losers climbed out of the Clubhouse and headed for the Neibolt house, all still on their bikes instead of cars, even though several of them owned cars now. Part of Richie had always thought the preference for bikes was because they reminded them of the days when they were younger and five years felt like an eternity and even with these new gifts they’d felt safe.

None of them felt safe when they got to the house. Even Richie was quiet as they moved inside until the smell hit him and he made a wisecrack about Eddie’s mom’s underwear drawer that led Eddie to elbow him lightly in the ribs and offer a week, “Beep, beep, Richie.”

Stan led them down, below the house, into the Derry sewers, where It apparently lived. “How do we find it?” Ben asked, glancing around their surroundings wearily.

“We won’t have to,” Stan breathed. “It knows we’re here.”

Sure enough, none of them had even taken a step before a red balloon started floating towards them, eerily slow and quiet. Richie couldn’t even hear the sounds of his friends’ breathing, or maybe he was so scared that he just couldn’t notice. The balloon came to a stop about half a foot in front of them, spinning around in a circle. On one side, the first one to face them, it had I ♡ Derry and then, as it turned, they saw You’ll Float Too printed clearly on the other.

The balloon popped with a crushingly loud sound that echoed all around the cave around them, but the sound was a thousand times better than the blood that flooded out of the balloon and rained over them all, drenching even the rocky ground below them. Richie wasn’t even sure that that was the worst part because they were still dripping, only seconds after that fucking balloon exploded when a sickening, clown laugh rang out.

There were two things that Richie had always been scared of. One was werewolves and the other was clowns. But no clown was as terrifying as the one that was now visible at the opposite end of the cavern. Richie reached automatically from Eddie’s hand, struggling to grip it when they were both still soaking with blood that they had all forgotten about.

The clown darted, gone just as suddenly as it had been there, though the laughter still filled the cave. The Losers gathered in a circle, back to back, all but Richie and Ben gripping the weapons tightly. A shield slowly grew around them, thanks to Mike, and Richie felt like he could breathe just a little better. Until the clown reappeared in a new spot but it quickly started to change. Its arms shook and stretched, its hands becoming claws that landed and dug into the ground in sudden claws.

Then It grew , sprouting up and up as new claws sprouted out of his sides. It became some kind of new thing as if a spider with claws for legs had decided it was a good idea to mate with a clown. It started to come towards them, each step making the floor of the cavern quake with such a force that Richie nearly fell over.

One claw came right down on the shield with such force that there was a sickening crack and all of them stared up in surprise. Nothing had ever been able to harm one of Mike’s shields before, nothing. But then there was another direct hit, right where the first had been, and a terrible, deep crack appeared in the top, like a crack on a hard contact lense.

The cavern ceiling started to shake, pieces of rock falling towards the monster. It was Ben’s doing, clearly, most likely in an attempt to distract It, which only worked when a large chunk hit it in the head, finally silencing the ringing laughter. “Mikey tuh-take it down! We’ll spuh-split up!” Bill screamed over the chaos as It lifted its claw again.

No sooner had the shield come down that It dove its claw right in their center, all of them throwing themselves away from it just before being impaled. Richie pushed himself up, eyes scanning the area for any sign of Eddie, relief filling him when he finally saw the other boy pushing himself to his feet stubbornly.

“Is everyone okay?” Eddie screamed out, but the only result of the question being asked was It turning its gaze on Eddie. It was in the same sickening moment that Eddie and Richie each realized that Eddie had dropped his machete when leaping from the circle.

Eddie jumped out of the way just in time, rolling away fast enough to put feet between him and It. Richie quickly sprang to action, animating the machete that had been dropped to the ground. The weapon sprang up, standing on the handle before spinning towards the giant monster and sinking itself into Its shoulder. The monster screamed, the sound echoing out of that terrible clown head but it quickly turned into that horrific laugh instead, the head swiveling to look right at Richie.

Richie backed up quickly, nearly stumbling over himself as he did, watching the thing take a step towards him, the claw sinking through one of the pieces of the ceiling, dividing the large clump of rock as if it were nothing at all. The same bit of ceiling suddenly twitched and Richie felt himself smirk, knowing already what was happening.

The rocks flew upwards towards the belly of the beast, splitting ways before reaching him and flying around and above him, only to clamp down on either side of his vicious, ugly head. “Yeah, Haystack!” Richie yelled, tossing his fist into the air.

The beast roared, stomping backward as it reeled from the blow. Richie saw what was about to happen just seconds too late to open his mouth, saw Stan on the ground behind the beast, staring up at it, just before the claw went piercing right through his friend’s left shoulder. Stan screamed and Mike and Bill both lurched towards him. As soon as It pulled its claw from Stan, Bill and Mike each took a side, pulling Stan to his feet as carefully as they could. He yelled out in pain that sounded so real and tormented that Richie felt his heart stop in his chest, his eyes glued to his oldest friend. Finally, he tore his gaze to Eddie. “Go!” he yelled, nodding after them. “They need you!”

Eddie hesitation lasted for such a brief period that if Richie didn’t know him so well he wouldn’t have noticed it at all. Then he gave Richie a nod and ran back towards the tunnel. Richie saw It start to turn towards the others making their move to get Stan to safety and hollered, “Hey, dumb ass!” It turned to him slowly, eyes narrowing, and Richie took that opportunity to grab the machete off the ground and throw it as far as he could, the enchanted weapon doing the rest of the work for him as it zipped towards the monster and hit it in the face.

Richie paused briefly before darting into the tunnel himself, half sliding and almost certainly skinning his side fiercely under his shirt. He pushed himself up, not even feeling it with the adrenaline pounding through his body. He saw Mike throw up a force field and exhaled in shaky relief, quickly shrugging out of his flannel and tossing it to Mike, who added it to Stan’s wound a top of another overshirt that looked like Bill’s. “How’s he doing?” Richie panted.

“Hanging in there,” Stan grunted hoarsely. “Wh-Where’s Bill?” His voice was weak enough that it made Richie feel like he might be sick, but he fought it back.

“He said he saw Georgie over there,” Eddie said, nodding towards deeper into the tunnel. He knelt down beside Stan and lifted the shirts to get a better look at the wound. His face twisted into an expression of such concern that, for the first time, Richie wondered if Eddie’s powers would be enough.

“Bill,” Stan grunted and Mike squeezed his right hand, looking desperately for someone to go get the seventh Loser.

Richie swallowed and nodded. “I’ll go.” He jogged down the tunnel, almost pausing when he heard the laughter echoing from behind him, in the cavern. He pulled to a stop beside Bill, who was crouched on the ground in deep conversation. Had Richie not seen Bill’s powers in use so many times by now, he would have thought his friend had lost it. “Bill? Stan wants you, I- Fuck, Bill, it’s so bad, I don’t know if Eddie can-”

Bill held up a hand and then nodded once at whoever he was talking to before looking up at Richie with worried eyes as he got to his feet unsteadily. Richie threw out a hand to help him up. “He has to if we have any ch-ch-chance,” he said unevenly. He didn’t stop to explain, instead of leading the way in a run to the others.

Stan didn’t look quite as terrible, the blood that had initially been coming from his lips had dried and wasn’t being replaced so Richie took that to be a good sign. Bill fell to his knees on Stan’s side opposite Mike and looked around at them. “Juh-Juh-Georgie and the others,” he said, half panting. The stitch Richie felt in his side from all of the running and diving of the last hour didn’t blame him. “They s-s-said-” He closed his eyes and took a long breath to steady himself, a long moment that the claw beating against the wall of the force field with sickening thuds and an occasional crack said they didn’t have, and said, “It’s from the other dimension, ruh-ruh-right? Its cuh-core is still there. That’s how we kuh-kuh-”

“That’s how we kill it,” Beverly finished slowly, her eyes lighting with sudden realization. “We need Stan to go kill it.” She closed her eyes and Richie knew she was scanning their future for change.

“It’s an e-e-egg,” Bill managed to get out, eyes flickering from Bev to Mike and then back to Stan. “It’s tethered by its o-own egg.”

Stan nodded, even as his eyes were half-lidded. “If it’s in its lair that would be why Maturin never knew.”

Mike shushed him in a gentle tone, hand cupping his cheek as he glanced at Bill again with worry in his eyes. “I’ve never held it under this much weight. It’s too strong, the field’s gonna come down any minute.”

“Using his powers is going to take a strain on him,” Eddie gasped out as the claw hit the side again and this time Richie could see the crack, like a sliver of a crack in a hard contact lense. “I think I’m going to have to keep the wound from reopening.”

Richie nodded, looking at Ben with a heavy exhale, a question in his eyes. Ben gave a single nod and lifted a hand, his eyes fixed on something behind It. “Ready?” he asked.

“Wait.” Bev scuffled with something on the ground before lifting with the fire poker. “I’m going to help you distract It. If Stan dies, we all die.” There was only a second’s hesitation on Ben’s face but then it was gone and he nodded once. Bev moved closer to him, her hand rubbing from his arm to his shoulder, whispering something that Richie didn’t even try to hear. He was sure it was private.

Richie caught Eddie’s gaze, noticing how scared the smaller boy looked. Eddie didn’t have to say it, he knew on his own that it was for Richie’s well being out there more than his own. Richie offered him a small smile that he hoped was comforting and got a weak one in return. Stan nudged Eddie lightly on the knee and nodded towards Richie. Eddie got up and moved to Richie, going to touch his face but pausing due to the blood on his palms.

“Be careful,” he said quietly.

Richie opened his mouth to make a wisecrack but closed it again before he could. He took in Eddie’s worried, tired, dirty face and said, “I love you.”

Eddie stared at him for a long moment, as if he couldn’t believe the words, or maybe he just couldn’t believe the timing. But then he lurched in and kissed him, purposefully keeping his hands from touching Richie. Richie reached out and took both of Eddie’s hands in his anyways and squeezed them as he kissed him back. But it was over too soon and Eddie whispered, “I love you too.” And nodded at him before pulling his hands back and kneeling down beside Stan.

Bev looked at Mike and nodded as if to tell him they were ready. Mike watched her for a long moment before turning his gaze on Ben and Richie as well. “Be careful. I’m going to throw up the shield again as soon as I can, so give us a warning if you need-”

“Just do it!” Richie half yelled, watching the claw thud again and the crack grow an inch.

“3,” Mike said, glancing at Ben. Ben curled his fist and a rock behind It slowly lifted and suddenly Richie understood. “2.” They watched it go higher. “1.”

The rock dropped and It screamed again, turning its head to look behind it. The field dropped and the three of them bolted outside, splitting up to take different sides of It. Ben had rocks flying, Bev occasionally climbed up the side of the cavern to scream at It to get its attention and sometimes throwing whatever she could, and Richie animated every weapon they had dropped that he could see, anything at all that he could see.

One of those fucking claws went flying towards Beverly and she leaped from the wall, tumbling onto the ground. Ben and Richie both shouted her name in unison until they saw her clamber to her feet. It became preoccupied, trying to pull its claw back out of the wall, as Bev darted away quickly. “I’m fine!” she shouted back at them.

“How much longer?!” Ben shouted towards the tunnel.

“He’s been in there a while!” Mike yelled back to them. “But we don’t know!”

Richie exchanged looks with Ben, easily catching the exhaustion on the large boy’s face. He felt it himself and he could see it in Beverly as well, could see it in the way she was moving just a little slower than before. “Come on, Stan,” Richie breathed to himself. “Bevvy, how we doing?”

“What, you want me to check now?!” Beverly shouted back, sounding like she might laugh if the situation wasn’t so fucking dire. Because even though they were getting exhausted, It wasn’t. It was just getting angrier, but its energy wasn’t lessening any as far as Richie could tell.

“Come here, I’ll cover you!” he shouted back. Beverly nodded once and sprinted to him, sliding to her knees behind him. Richie glanced around the cavern desperately, eyes finally catching on an old, rusty sheet of metal peeking out of some of the rock. It had probably been buried down here long ago. It animated to life quickly, wiggling its way from the rocks, though Ben saw what was happening and pulled the remaining rocks away from it. The sheet metal flew in front of Richie and Bev just as Its attention had gone to them.

Its claw, of course, pierced right through it, but it slowed the momentum enough to stop Richie from being impaled. It bounced around, continually blocking blows until Ben managed to get Its attention fixed back on him.

It was a few minutes of that when It smashed a rock thrown its way and its claw went barrelling towards Ben. The metal shot to him, slowing the blow by taking it long enough for Ben to dive out of the way. “Bev?” Richie half-shouted desperately, but her name had hardly left his lips when she appeared at his side.

“It kept changing until the end,” she panted. “But-”

She didn’t get to finish. It screamed, a terrible, deranged sound, and curled in on itself. One claw pierced the ground with such force that half of it vanished into the earth, but It didn’t seem to notice. It was still screaming and actually deteriorating. It fell apart, bit by bit, and they could see shining light beneath its flesh.

“- have to get in there!” Bev’s voice finally broke through Richie’s stupor, bringing his gaze over to their shielded friends. The force field was going down, Richie realized, and it was only then that he realized what was happening. Beverly grabbed his hand and they both ran to the entrance of the tunnel, meeting with Ben a few steps away. They dove inside once it was lifted enough and then Mike slammed it back down.

It was just in time. It exploded with a shriek and the light-filled the entire caver, so bright that it almost burned Richie’s skin even through the shield. Bits of the monster hit the shield, looking so disgusting that under different circumstances Richie might have hurled.

Instead, he just fell to his knees and then arms were around him and he felt Eddie’s forehead pressed against his own and heard Eddie’s exhausted whisper of, “We did it, Rich. We did it. We’re all alive. It’s over.” Richie brought his own shaking hand to cup the back of Eddie’s neck and sighed with relief.

____

“We had to be there,” Stan explained tiredly in response to Richie asking why they had had to go in the first place if killing it was in a different dimension altogether. He was leaning against Bill’s shoulder with Mike leaning on his. The three of them looked picture-perfect sitting like that in front of the Quarry, Richie thought.

Ben was sitting on the rocks, leaning back on one arm with Bev’s head in his lap as she lay on her side, looking at Stan as he spoke. Richie, for his part, was holding Eddie stubbornly on his lap against his chest, perched on a log with his own chin settled on Eddie’s shoulder.

After the battle had ended, they had all sat in the tunnels for what had probably ended up being an hour, laughing and crying and holding each other. Stan was going to be fine, he healed up fine once it was over, once he was able to relax and let Eddie help and wasn’t straining with his powers. Then they had gone to Bill’s and all fallen asleep together spread out across Bill’s bedroom, no one, not even Eddie, bothering to shower, though they all pretty much wrestled each other to go first in the morning. Once clean and fed, they had all gone home, reassured their parents that Bill had had a crisis and needed their help, and then met up in the Quarry where they were now.

“We had to be there,” Stan repeated, “because I travel astral planes, not locations. I could never have done that if we hadn’t been in the lair or if we hadn’t located It. It had to be there for the egg to be in reach and we had to be there to find It, do you see?”

Richie hummed in approval and tilted his head to kiss Eddie’s clothed shoulder before looking back up. “So. Is Maturin like our Charlie now?”

All of the Losers stilled and glanced at each other as if at a loss before Ben finally asked, “What?” with a laugh in his voice.

“Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?” Eddie asked with a slow blink as he turned to look at Richie.

Richie smirked and laughed, shaking his head. “No. Charlie like Charlie’s Angels. He’s this secret voice only Stan met who told us what to do and guided us through saving our whole town. Uh, hello? I think we’re basically super witch spies now. Super hot witch spies.”

Eddie was the first to start laughing, curling in on himself from laughing so hard and Richie grinned, gratified. The rest followed quickly, even Richie. “Beep, beep, Richie,” Bev managed to get out, shaking her head as the laughter subsided.

“I’m just saying, if we do this too often he ought to pay us or something,” Richie said, only to be beep-beeped again by Bill. Eddie was gazing up at him with adoring amusement and Richie just beamed right back, leaning down to kiss him long and deep enough that the other Losers started howling, whooping, and groaning dramatically.

It was hard to care though, and even Eddie didn’t seem to if the way his tongue was halfway down Richie’s throat was any indication. They had lived and, more importantly, they were together. So what could possibly dampen any of their spirits now?

#reddie #halloween event 2019 #richictozicr

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awakaru · 4 years

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So, since the Hell Month is over and I'm in an okay space, lemme tell y'all about it!

[[MORE]]

Mercy had a fever for the first time in forever, so she got paranoid and got tested for the covid. Which led to her having a couple weeks off since she couldn't go back without the results.

During that time, we stayed with Chi for a solid week to protect her from a guy she lives with that felt entitled to her. I was gonna stay longer, but there was a covid scare and I was sent home.

A week of normalcy followed. The day after our next D&D session, shit hit the fan.

First off, Gordo started shit with the guy he rooms with. Full blown screaming and condescension followed, and Mercy felt the need to call and check up on me cuz she was worried I was the one being yelled at. That's totally normal and not a trauma response /s

So Fred left with his shit in the pouring rain. I had just gotten TikTok so I was drowning out my anxiety with funny MHA skits and D&D things.

Mercy apparently went to get food to get things back to 'normal', so we all got some chicken.

I tried to stop a fight between Mercy and Gordo, cuz the latter was listening to conservative bullshit and it was bothering the former. I told him not to be rude after she left, and he followed me into my room to continue the convo that I just tried to end. He was pulling his passive aggressive shit so I sent him off by closing the door in his face. He left.

Apparently Mercy heard me raise my voice and followed Gordo outside. I don't know for sure what happened cuz I was still inside, but it got to the point where Gordo started fucking screaming so I went to investigate. I got there in time so see Mercy black out and beat the shit out of him. So did Gordo's friend Joey, who me and Mercy very recently had a falling out with cuz he's ignorant.

She even tried to choke Gordo out. At that point I was fed up with his shit so I told her to do it cuz he deserved it. But she stopped, and I had to lead her back inside, not without saying she "can't debate with a fascist". Cuz that's what he fucking is.

She got to our bedroom and proceeded to burst into tears and have a panic attack, I think. I tried my very best to calm her down. She said we had to go. Like, GO go, as in not come back. I was okay yeah fair, and reached out to Chi to see if we could stay for a bit. She said no cuz of the covid scare, so I called one of my D&D friends. She said yes, so we started packing.

Around this time I had Mama on the phone cuz she could not come home yet but didn't want to leave us alone in case something happened.

I heard the guy who /just had a fight with Gordo like AN HOUR AGO/ come in to his fucking defense, first berating Merxy and then me. After he finished with me, Joey came in and threw his drink at me! Because I dared to tell my "brother" to go die, in an effort to get to leave me alone. But I knew there was no point explaining myself so I told him to go die too after telling me I was a stupid bitch and that he hated me 🤷🏽‍♀️

So at this point, me and Mercy continued packing, cuz the boys went for a walk or some shit, who cares. We had Mama on the line for a while and then we said bye after we left the house.

So me and Mercy are homeless now. Our D&D friend could only put us up for a single night, so we fell to our last resort: Yami, my "bestie".

But I would not call them that. We havent been all that close since that huge fight we had like, two years ago. But I wanted to help them, cuz they have a young son and I wanted to try to make his life better in whatever small ways I could. That's a post for another time, though.

They agreed to let us stay til we got our shit together, and that we were welcome there. But I sure as hell didn't feel welcome. They were saying basically from Day One that they were gonna make sure we were uncomfortable so we wouldn't get complacent 😑 Nevermind the fact that me and Mercy were dealing with a huge sense of loss and grief!

We didn't even last a full week, guys. Every day was some sort of altercation, and I had had enough with their "my way or the highway" attitude. So the day they woke me up to drag me into their room to prove a point, I knew it was gonna go poorly. And it did!

I won't even mention what brought this on cuz honestly it's not important, like at all. All that matters is that I was Done™ and on the verge of shutdown as they explained why I "didn't need to be right all the time". I tried my best to exit the convo but I guess they needed to have the last word so they kept on going. But I was already done so I just walked away, and then hell broke loose.

It escalated to the point where I straight up told them we weren't friends, and that led to them basically disowning me =3= And they proceeded to call me the "anonymous person living in [their] home".

Sooo, at this point I'm homeless again cuz there ain't no way I'm going back to that toxic environment. I was allowed to hang at my D&D friend's place again, and during that time Chi managed to get a yes from her sister-in-law for me to stay with them. I picked Mercy from work, had her grab my essentials, and we drove all the way to Chi's. So I live with her now.

Now at this point Yami had been removed from my life almost completely, except for one thing: our weekly D&D game. I had invited them to play a few months ago and they've been a permanent player since then, along with their son coming to guest play sometimes. But after this final fallout (we actually had a falling out like a month or two ago at this point too so like yikes) I sure as hell didn't want them there.

Me and Mercy are the only OG players at this table; we've been there from the very fucking beginning. We went through two location changes and general party changes as well. This game helped me keep track of time and helped keep me sane through many shitty situations in the last few /years/. No way were they taking this from me.

So, this Monday, we all gathered at our table. I was super fucking anxious, to the point where I had to take off my glasses and hide behind my hat. They were "being cordial" but that passive aggressive version where they make pointed jabs that sound like small talk. It was infuriating. But I didn't fall for their bait.

Our DM put us in a meeting. I explained the bare details needed to clarify the situation, and we proceeded to try to compromise. Yami would not accept any. "If I can leave emotions at the door, so should they," they said. "They need to act like adults."

Mercy started packing up, and so did I cuz I just wanted something else to focus on. But I never had any intention of leaving. Our DM brought up since compromise apparently wasn't working, then he would have to rule this in favor of seniority. So I stood my ground. And Yami had no choice but to accept the ruling, and was taken home.

Knowing that things were tense, our DM took us to Chili's to relax, with a short detour through Lowe's while we waited for seats. I had not felt so calm in a looong time, or so exhausted; shifting from being a night owl to a morning person and back to a night owl was having a toll on me. But I was so glad that I didn't let them take this group from me.

Now, Mercy is trying to find a place for us so we can actually start saving up for our eventual move out of state, and also not further inconvenience Chi and her family, whose home I currently live in. I wish I had any sort of ability that would make making money online an option for me, but I was always so afraid of sharing creations that I know that's not an option now. So, if we find a place, I'll defs have to find a job, which I'm not looking forward to at all tbh. But I'm safe for now, so I guess that's something.

#annie.txt

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

#survey #quiz #questions

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shippeh · 5 years

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i stg hbt is one of my favorite hot takes on abo. like the ways laws work in most abo’s are always so loose or like rapey if they’re even there at all & i’ve just gotta give you props for writing drama w/o fetishizing rape culture (if that makes sense?). ANYWAYS i have Questions! accidental bonding=accidental pregnancy levels of social stigma i.e. dumb&irresponsible? how DO kiri’s parents react? actually how do their friends react, while we’re at it. why did kiri think his hero career was over?!

HEY SO IF U HAVENT FINISHED HEARTBEAT THUNDER STO P READING THIS

actually stop everythign ur doing and go read my fic bye

anyway hhhnnnn you are so kind to me i die. this is way long so here’s a read more

accidental pregnancy is like nothin compared 2 accidental bonding,,, when you got so many people just have super fertile sex all the time in so many different ways sometimes pregnancy just happens and like u just go abort it if you dont want to have it, its not a big deal really, people gonna give you a lecture like “you have been taught about birth control since u were ten WHAT are you out here doin”

sex ed is like a huge thing in hbt really so pregnancy isnt like, the MOST common thing in the world but it happens and barring irritated parents its not a particularly big deal cuz like. well for one you can just terminate the pregnancy and ur fine, but for two adoption is so huge and there’s so many willing parents out there that you can go that route too

i was gonna write a scene with kiri’s parents but then decided it didnt really add anything to the plot but im pretty sure one of his moms says something like “why couldn’t u have just gotten him pregnant instead’ so.

like straight up it’d be less weird for them to come back and say they’d eloped and are married

accidental bonding is. like. kind of pretty taboo and not something that happens often. its mostly just drama for soap operas for teens and their grandmas to watch together and gasp behind their hands “i would NEVER”

muzzles are (meant to be) pretty fool proof, bakugou’s just.... too much pride and self confidence and lack of fear while at the same time being skilled enough at maintaining himself during heats that he even is ABLE to undo the latches

. its really rare for couples to do do rut/heat shares without like, explicitly talking about it first because it’s not like anybody is surprised by heats except for weird circumstances so it’s almost never ever that there aren’t muzzles or other barriers in the way (i mean its quirk society so who knows, if ur alpha has six mouths then there are blocking collars so) and also it’s not always that an alpha feels compelled to bite like that in rut anyway

all that to say that kiri’s parents are Not Happy At All especially his mama because she’s been sitting here the whole time just kind of waiting for them to break up. mom cycles between ‘oh its so ROMANTIC’ and ‘how did i raise my son so wrong’.

it’s rougher than w bakugou’s parents for sure. the bakugou’s are actually weirdly chill about the whole thing and that’s because they know their kid and they know that with anything he does he’s All In so they’ve long accepted kirishima as part of the family forever. mitsuki panics because she thinks kirishimas gonna be mad enough to do something stupid and leave bakugou (which. he can, technically, but it’s p much a form of psychological suffering for both of them after that.)

bakugou’s parents didn’t do their bondmark until katsuki was like, already ten, and a LOT of couples never even do it at all, so, it’s not taken lightly

they also do NOT tell them that bakugou took the muzzle off himself and let them think that kirishima managed to tear it apart with his quirk. that’s an executive decision made before talking to them about it

kiri worried that his hero career was gonna be over because like. the publicity of trying to be a new aspiring hero while having a bondmark at 18 is not easy. there are a lot of agencys who would fire a hero or demote them to sidekick for that kind of thing.

BUT izuku obviously isn’t gonna do that. gang orca doesn’t give a shit either as long as bakugou gets work done and also bakugou’s suit hides it, so

as for their friends uhhhhh first reactions are not always Great but everybody loves them and know they’re good together so they get over it and it’s just another fact;

kaminari literally refuses to believe it’s not a joke until he sees the mark and even then he’s like ‘wow haha really good makeup effects’ in a wobbly voice

uraraka says loud and fake “IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU” while covering her mouth because she’s horrified

mina’s always wild and is like “DAMN boys hahahhaha bet i can get one that’s bigger” and then bakugo tries 2 explode her

tetsutetsu just like Quiet and Wide eyed like “yooooooooooo,,,, bro,,,,, wtf bro,,,,,,’

and everybody else is just like variations on similar themes.

except izuku who legit just collapses onto the floor and talks to himself for a good five minutes while kirishima watches patiently, then he stands up and is like ‘alright. congrats ei i hope you two are very happy and i mean that for real’ and he’s hte nicest one about it

#thunder hc #oh this is a long one i DO have thoughts #grumbee

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fanfiction-for-me · 5 years

Text

More than Halfway There

Tour, how can I describe touring? It's more than awesome, it's a total experience. It's like being on a slumber party, combined with a party, combined with concerts, combined with people, combined with lots of dirt... and disaster. Yep, that part is not that awesome. But it is in general. And even more when a certain member of Big Time Rush keeps in touch with you.

James and I messaged almost everyday. The first time he did it, we had just arrived to Las Vegas, our first stop, and I had just posted that in twitter. Two minutes later, my phoned buzzed. It was James! I had been worried he had forgotten about me (ask Sass, she had heard me suffer about him not texting me: "What if I wrote my number wrong?" "What if he really didn't like me as much as I thought?"), but apparently he hadn't. I looked at my message.

"Hey, good luck on your first show! Break a leg, beautiful ;)".

That last part had me swooning. Davie got mad over it, and that was what confirmed to me that he was jealous... or protective; I don't know. Lila was happy for me, and told me she wouldn't have gotten so worked up about him not texting me in the last 2 days, but of course she would say that. Kendall texted her the afternoon after the party, and the next day… and every other day. Sass was also happy, but mostly relieved that I wouldn't be crying "over nothing" like she would say.

After that I could finally be at peace. James always texted me first (or DM'd me) and after that we stayed writing for hours. Our confidence with each other grew and soon we became really good friends, but I could still feel like there was something else in there, like he was fond of me or had a crush in me, and I'm being completely modest here. It was the way in which he called me names like ‘beautiful’ and stuff. He also did this thing in which he would playfully flirt with me and I would go with it, you know, just fooling around, right? Yeah, well not so much.

Also, there was this time when we did a video chat.

The tour had only one month left of it. I was exhausted, but still really happy. We were in Canada, playing two shows and we had one day free in between, so that night James and I agreed we would turn on our cameras and chat a little. I shared my room with the guys, but they were out at the moment, buying fifty liters of maple syrup and a canadian ranger hat for Davie (long story). When I was set with my laptop, I sent a message to James and five minutes later he was on.

"Whoa, Chelle" James made a surprised face.

"What?"

"Is my camera playing with the image or are you hotter than the last time we video chatted?" I narrowed my eyes at his comment. I was wearing my pj's and my hair was uncombed. My makeup was a little smeared now that I saw my camera view. Why didn't I try to fix my appearance? I looked like I was about to go to sleep!

"That's the worst pickup line ever Jamie, even worse than the one from last time. How can I look hot in these?" I gestured to my loose Green Day t-shirt and my pink pajama shorts.

"You do. There's something hot about informality. Are you gonna tell me" and he started wiggling his fingers over his face, "that I don't look hot with what I'm wearing?" he finished cockily.

He did look hot, but that's off the point, because he is already hot. He could wear a diaper and look hot. It's not fair also, because I'd already told him that I thought that when he used that beanie and his glasses he looked better than even when he dressed up. He told me he didn't thought so, and I couldn't believe that. I was starting to see his point. Maybe seeing me on my pj's all untidy was the same for me to see him on his sweatpants and tank tops.

"Yeah, I guess you're right" I smirked defeated.

"I always am"

"Don't get so full of yourself Mr. Maslow."

"But why can you do that then?" he complained.

"Just because" I grinned.

"Not fair" James replied. Gosh, I really loved it when he wore glasses.

"No, you're right, it isn't... virtual kiss?" he nodded and I blew a kiss that he caught and "pasted" on his cheek. I giggled through all that. It was a cheesy little thing we improvised the first time we video chatted, when we were saying our goodbyes and I blew him a kiss.

We stayed silent for a small moment, smiling at each other and subduing our chuckles.

"How have you been hun?"

"I thought I told you yesterday I was a little worn out"

"Yeah, but I mean, do you want to come home?" he questioned seriously.

Thinking about it, I did want to get home. I missed my bed, even though I had just slept on it for a month. I also couldn't wait to see James in person and hug him. "I do."

"I want you to come home too"

"Why?"

"It's gonna sound crazy because I just got to meet you that one time, but I think I miss you"

It didn't sound crazy at all. You would've thought that the constant talking and messaging would cover it but it made it worse somehow. It kinda made the want stronger. "It's not. I miss you too."

"You do?" and he seemed surprised by that.

"Yeah, I do. Thank goodness it's only 23 more days and we'll be able to see each other. In person" I smiled at him.

"Yeah" and he grinned wide "no more Worldwide Girl" James chuckled.

"Aw, I've always wanted to be Worldwide Girl!" that was a true story. I remember how I would watch live BTR performances and wish I were the one they would sing that song to.

"You have been my Worldwide Girl for the past five months"

"You still haven't sang to me though" I said, claiming my serenade.

"Neither have you sang to me" he replied smugly.

"Aw, come on, please?"

"I'm kidding, you don't have to beg" and with that he reached for a bottle of water, sipped a drink, cleared his throat a little and cracked his knuckles.

I laughed at his meticulous preparation "Do you have to do all that? I'm the only one here"

"I want to do this right, and I'm not even playing" James said with a serious face and I reddened. He looked right into the camera, so it seemed like he were looking into my eyes, and started singing.

Wait a minute, before you tell me anything, how was your day? Cuz I've been missing you by my side. Did I awake you- He hadn't even gotten to finish the first verse when Davie came running into the room.

"Chelle! They want to kill me!"

Dammit! Damn Davie, he always seemed to interrupt James and me on our best moments!

"Davie! I'm chatting with James here and have no time to save you so die."

Davie just looked at me with an expression that was part annoyance, part anger "Do I look like I care? You're always speaking with him anyway"

"I don't care if you don't care and what I do is my business so get the fuck out now" I tried to reply as calmed as possible but the swear word came out. Oops.

"You like him don't you?" Davie asked accusingly.

"What if I do?"

After that there was an awkward silence. I had forgotten James was still on in my laptop, genius me. No one said a word, though Davie's expression looked like he wanted to say a thousand, and they were not going to be pretty words.

Thanks to the heavens that Sass and Lila came in before he could open his mouth.

"Davie! How dare you do that? You could've gotten us killed!" and with that, they threw themselves at Davie and proceeded to slap him and punch him hard.

"What did he do now?"

Sass was the one that answered "We were coming out if the market with the syrup when all of a sudden he grabbed our phones and threw them at some fans!"

"Do you know how hard it was to get our phones back?" added Lila. I can imagine it was very hard. They looked like a flock of hungry birds attacked them.

"Plus we had to leave the maple syrup!" Sass chimed in.

"Why did you do that Davie?"

"Their texting was annoying me" he replied coolly. I sighed. Sometimes he can get very childish.

"Um, excuse me? I think I should leave you guys so you can fix this, so..." James spoke from the laptop. I had forgotten again he was still on. He looked freaked out and sorry. I don't blame him.

"Yeah, do so" Davie answered him.

Before I could say anything to him for that snarky comment, James snapped in "Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

We all looked at him wide-eyed. It was the first time we had heard him say a swear word. Well, not really, but it was the first time we had seen him say it that angry.

"Did you just say that? To me? Who are you to say that to me?" Davie asked, full of himself.

"Who are you to tell Michelle what to do?" James replied smartly, still fuming.

"I'm his friend! Almost a big brother even! And I look up to her because I adore the fuck outta her. Same for these other girls" We all thought it was cute that he wanted to take care of us, and we appreciated that, but he sure was crossing the line lately.

"Well guess what? I'm her friend and I adore her too and there's nothing you can do about that because she probably likes me more than she likes you at the moment, so all I can say now is stop messing with us because nothing will stop what we already started!" James took a deep breath as we were all quiet with shock "I'll talk to you later hun" he smiled meekly at me, and with that, his camera went off.

Suddenly I forgot how angry I was at Davie. James had clearly stated we had something going on! I already suspected it, but hearing it come from his mouth gave me a certainty that gave my stomach butterflies. The way in which he had snapped at Davie too was really suspicious. He looked seriously worked up about it and oh, he mentioned he adored me! I was currently flying in delight, but before I could get too far up, I had to settle some things down.

"Davie, we need to talk. All of us with you. Not just me, right girls?" Lila and Sass nodded sternly.

We spent the rest of the night discussing with Davie his annoying jealous behavior. The talk was pretty deep, I'm not gonna lie, but we finally got to some resolutions. It turns out Davie didn't like any of our pursuers (except for Andy Biersack, of course) for no reason at all! His claim was that "they are way older that us and didn’t seem like the good guys they played out to be". He was also jealous for all of us, with no apparent reason, because we all know Davie doesn't like us in that way (I still have my doubts with Sass though). Anyway, Lila and I tried to convince him that James and Kendall were actually really nice, but he still said they irked him, and that he definitely didn't like James because of the way he snapped at him tonight. I told him it was mainly his fault, but stubborn Davie said he still should've kept his mouth shut. Finally, we agreed that he wouldn't bother us or anything until he saw something that proved that Kendall or James weren't nice guys, and also, the jealousy had to stop because even if we liked other guys we would still like him in his very special way because he was our Davie. With our deal sealed (Davie still a little reluctant), we said our apologies and went back to be friends as always. That night we slept in peace. I could finally go back to my happiness of being sure that James and I were already in that "more than friends" zone.

The tour had been a great first one. We played for up to 150,000 persons in huge arenas, did many interviews (although some went wrong), met many fans and many other bands (we caught up with Andy and the rest of Black Veil Brides on Bamboozle Music Festival) and experienced the most random situations, like catching Sass and Davie kissing (twice!), getting banned from a fancy restaurant in Paris (for lots of swearing from Davie's part) and being seen in my underwear by Davie (that was very embarrassing). We ended up being more famous than we already were (how is that even possible?) and we had finished writing a new single on the road, which we would start to work on once we got home.

But mostly, I couldn't wait to be in LA so I could finally meet with James, and Lila wanted to see Kendall too. We decided we would throw another party to see the guys in there and have fun with them. Sass was hoping Andy would come, for he was still on tour.

So, one day after we arrived, we were ready for our second big party. Davie's cousin Natalie came all the way from Australia (she's sort of weird), we welcomed her and then went up to get ready. I put on a white dress that was divine on me; I wanted to look my best for James. I also tried to make Lila wear something girly for Kendall, but she wouldn't budge.

We had told Kendall and James to come early before the party started, so we could talk in peace or something like that, but the truth is we were dying to see them. We got out of our rooms looking stunning, and saw that Davie was on the living room tying his converse and fixing his tie. He told us we looked amazing and then the doorbell rang. Lila and I started running to go and get it because we knew who it was. Davie followed close behind, wondering why we were so excited to open the door.

"We're coming!" Lila yelled as she went down the stairs. I couldn't run so fast, because I had put on my high heels, but even though I was running, it wasn't me the one who fell.

I was trying to get to the doorstep before Lila when Sebastian (our butler) opened it, and just as he did so Lila somehow fell down the stairs "Oh my god, are you okay?" I cried from a few steps up. I had to laugh, I couldn't help it.

Davie helped her get up, but the door was already open, so that means that they had seen. Poor Lila. Luckily, she is not as easily embarrassed as me. "No wonder why you were in such hurry..." Davie muttered "Why are they here so early? It's two hours till the party"

"We told them to come early"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Cuz I say so!"

"Oh, and you are our father?"

"Yeah!"

"Really."

"Oh my god, you look lovely..." I ignored Lila and Davie and looked at the door, where James was standing beside Kendall, looking very handsome as always, buy most importantly, very tangible. Our eyes met and James grinned wide as he ran up to where I was, trying to get down the stairs without killing myself like Lila just did. When he stood just a step below me, he opened his arms and I wrapped my own arms around his neck, throwing myself and lifting my feet above the ground as he hugged my waist and swung me.

We both laughed in enjoyment as we hugged, then broke apart and James held my hands "Hey beautiful" he crooned and kissed my cheek.

"Hey" I blushed, and then I hugged him hard again. James felt so warm. It was comfortable under his arms too; my head nestled perfectly on the base of his neck and he was hard and soft at the same time; I could stand there forever and apparently so could James, I could tell by the way he held me and stroked my hair. Our perfect moment was interrupted by Davie and Lila discussing again, and apparently Kendall was involved this time. It was something about going to get Lila fixed and who would take her. I then noticed she had opened her ankle and was gushing blood all over the carpet. My stomach felt uneasy; I wrinkled my nose. I hate blood.

"Do you want to go somewhere else where there's no blood?" James suggested, already knowing how I felt.

"Yeah, let's take off"

We went to the disco room (called party room from now on) and saw Sass was setting up the music. We helped her, and after it was all set we jammed some tracks as we laughed and talk. Soon it became time for the actual party to start, and the rest of the guests started coming. Lila and Kendall arrived from the clinic just in time the party started.

James and I were dancing and talking. I was usually a quiet girl, but I noticed that around James I could talk a lot. Maybe it was because he always started the conversations, and that kept me going. I loved how we could talk about literally anything. As we started discussing the pattern of the lights above us, the song changed.

Your bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-boyfriend Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-boyfriend…

"Hey that's my song!"

"It is!" I giggled.

And that is when the mood flipped from friendly to romantic. I don't know about other girls, but if a guy started singing this song to me I would believe he means he wants to date me, and now James was singing it, with his eyes fixed on me! Should I take that as a proposal?

Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone, and there isn't anything they could've said or done?

He pulled our bodies together, grabbing me tightly by the waist with one hand and placing his other on my hip.

And every day I see you on your own, and I can't believe that you're alone; but I've overheard your girls and this is what they say

He suddenly let go and spun me, only to pull me up against him waltz style., gripping my hand tight.

That you're looking for a boyfriend, I see that Give me time you know I'm gonna be that

I touched the back of his neck and brushed his soft hair; his hazel eyes had my gaze stuck on him and him only. It was as if we were the only ones in the room.

Don't be scared just come put your trust in me; can't you see? All I really wanna be is your boyfriend

James twirled me again and then pulled me back to him, so that my back was pressed up against his chest, crossing his arms over my waist and resting his head on my shoulder. He sang on my ear and his breath gave me goosebumps.

Can't fight that, let me down you know I'm coming right back I don't care at all what you've done before; all I really want is to be your...

I turned to face him. That move was really romantic, but I wanted to see his face; I needed to see his face. James looked at me with questioning eyes as I backed up from him, but I reassured him by grabbing his shoulders and pulling into him again.

...bo-bo-bo-bo-boyfriend-

Let me take a little moment to find the right words, so when I kick it to you it ain't something that you've heard,

He took hold of my hips, and we both moved in sync to the rhythm of the song. Our foreheads touched as he leaned closer.

I don't know what kinda guy that you prefer, but I know I gotta put myself for worse, see I think I got the kinda love that you deserve, and I heard that...

James' eyes were smoldering, he had stopped singing and our dance had receded.

He looked at me in such way that I couldn't hold my need to kiss him anymore. I was less than three inches apart from his perfect lips! With my eyes still locked on him, my hands lowered to his chest. I was going to do it! I tiptoed a little to grasp him, only to feel his lips on mine before I could reach them.

He kissed me first! And god, did his mouth feel soft and warm. I could sense a delicious dash of his breath, hot on my mouth and I wanted to keep on going forever, but he broke the kiss before it could get deeper.

We looked at each other and then broke eye contact as each of us flushed. The song was still playing and everyone was dancing, oblivious (I hope) to how James and I held each other, timidly after what had just happened.

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty happy that I had gotten kissed by James, thrilled if not! The deal was, I had just realized we were in the middle of the dance floor and I'm not really good at being affectionate in public, and I'm guessing James wasn't either because his cheeks were a soft pink that made him look even lovelier.

"That was... Whoa" James broke the silence. I looked up to see he was sweetly trying to contain a smile.

"I know" was all I could say, and with that I hugged him again because I just loved hugging him.

After that small exchange, not a word about the kiss was said the rest of the night, but definitely something had changed and I felt pretty good about that. We had obviously sensed something, both of us, sort of like the famous "fireworks and sparks" that people talk about when they kiss the one they love.

James and Kendall stayed the night with us, after most of the people left around 2 am. Sass went up to her room to get some sleep while Lila and I lied on our royal staircase with James and Kendall. We were all having a good time, just cuddling (as much as one can cuddle in a staircase) and flirting when Davie came up mad to tell the guys to go back to their houses and ordered us to go sleep. Lila and I of course, wouldn't let them do that, so we started to argue with Davie until it was four in the morning. The guys seemed pretty amused by our fighting, when Lila announced she was hungry. Davie went to get some milkshakes with James while Lila and I argued over Kendall going with the other boys. After another Davie-Lila argument about sleep time that ended up with Davie covered in milkshake, I fell asleep for a while on James' legs. I woke up to the sound of Davie's voice. He was talking with James and Kendall about us. When Davie found out we were not asleep he convinced the guys into talking with him in private. Lila and I followed them and tried to hear. We got something about Davie being like our brother, and breaking James' and Kendall's bodies into pieces if they did something to us. Gosh, how harsh.

Soon, it was 7 am, and we were up to some breakfast. Lila and Davie continued quarreling about whether we should go to McDonalds or not after Sass decided we would go. On my sleep-deprived state I had the stupid idea of walking to the restaurant (since it was only 3 blocks away). It was all going swell, until fans spot us. Great, how could I forget that?

"OH MY GOD! IT'S RADIOACTIVE YOUTH! AND THEY ARE WITH THE GUYS OF BTR!"

We all started running for our lives. Apparently it was fan field trip day or something; there were like 50 people chasing us!

"Chelle! Be quiet!" James ordered as we ran as fast as we could. I was screaming my lungs out; the other guys followed behind us, Davie with Sass and Kendall with Lila, looking scared.

We were almost getting to McDonalds when I felt like if something small rasped the inside of my throat. I tried to shriek in pain this time, but the sound wouldn't come out, instead, trying to scream hurt a lot!

James and I were the first ones to go into the restaurant, earning odd faces from the customers, but most of them started swarming around us asking for autographs. James asked a policeman if he would please control the people and to please not let the crazy fans inside.

After what seemed an eternity (and was probably just one minute) Sass and Davie came in, looking hurt and tired. Davie had only half of his shirt on, because the rest of it was wrapped up around Sass' hand and around his own hand.

I was wishing I could speak or something, so I could ask them where Lila and Kendall were, but even trying to speak hurt. I hope it isn't something serious; I literally make a living out of my voice!

James, on the other hand, was okay, just worried about me. He asked me what was wrong but I couldn't answer so I gestured to my throat and made pained moans. He understood.

"I told you to stop screaming" he scolded. I rolled my eyes at him and pouted. "Aw, common, you'll be fine" and with a hug he pulled me down to sit on his lap.

After a while Kendall and Lila came in (thanks to the heavens!) but Lila had also gotten hurt in the way; she bent her wrist or something.

We didn't even eat in McDonalds because it was full with people (who were trying to get to us). It was a complete mayhem around us, Davie was shirtless and screaming at Lila, people were flashing photos of us and they were also yelling. We did get some photos with some fans, but after that we decided we needed to get to the hospital fast.

We were walking down the street, trying to find a cab (this time escorted by police) when I got thirsty. I pulled on James' sleeve and after a few tedious attempts to make him know what I wanted, he guessed.

"Yo, Davie?" James said

"What?" he answered like he was an authoritative father, pissed partly because all of us (except for James and Kendall) had gotten hurt. He was hurt too, but he tried to keep on a brave face, saying he only needed a Band-Aid when he obviously needed stitches on the whole palm of his hand. The cloth he had over his injury covered it a little, but I still wouldn't risk a look.

"I'm going to take Chelley to the hospital; she wants to get something to drink before"

"No. We are all going to the hospital right now. We'll buy you some coffee when we get there" Davie told me and I glared at him.

"No dude, chill, I promise I'll take her after she drinks something" and now James looked infuriated too. If you knew Davie, you would think James took a while to get mad. I would've punched him and left since the "what", just by the way he answered.

What happened after was unexpected. Davie had a fit because being the big superstar, he was used to no one (except us) contradicting him, and James just did that. In a flash, Davie reached out to pull some of James hair in fury. I was in silent shock when James' limp body almost crushed me when he fainted.

"DAVIE!" Lila, Sass and Kendall screamed, and then the three of us girls punched and slapped him.

Kendall and Davie helped put James in the cab. It was a silent ride to the hospital. Sass looked concerned for her broken finger, and was mostly worried that our manager Tom Kafer (who was in Hawaii) would find out about what happened, especially since people took pictures. Lila was trying to keep calm in her pain, squirming besides Kendall, who looked mad at Davie. He hadn't said anything when James and Davie were arguing but the look he had on his face now was deadly. I never thought I'd see such a cheery guy like Kendall that way. Davie just frowned at the floor, looking up to stare daggers at Kendall and a very knocked out James once in a while. He probably blamed all of this on them, when it had been my fault if you come to think about it. I just sighed and winced when I took breaths that were too long, because those stung my dry throat. I just hope they can fix us before we start recording.

What is worse, getting to the hospital didn't fix the drama or eased things up. We had all finished getting our exams taken and were sitting on different stretchers that were divided by curtains. I had James head on my lap, the rest of his body extended on the stretcher. I started caressing his hair absentmindedly, when I felt him starting to wake up.

His eyes opened to stare up at me. "Are we in the hospital?" he asked all woozy.

I nodded down at him and then started wondering why he was getting up. I followed him; he was looking behind the curtains for someone… maybe Kendall?

As James opened a curtain and glared down at Davie like he wanted to kill him, I knew what he was about to do but I was too late to stop him.

Davie stared up arrogantly at a very angry James "Oh, the princess wo-" and just before he could finish, James slammed his fist on Davie's face.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" no one had time to laugh because Davie was already throwing himself at James. If Davie didn't like James already, he had more reason not to do so now.

Lila and Sass were trying to control Davie while Kendall and I pulled James out of the small space before Davie broke his nose or something. I was a little shocked at James for what he just did; I didn't know he was that kind of guy. I guess his hair must be really important for him to react that way (first fainting and then punching someone?). One thing's for sure though, he looked really hot when he was angry.

The doctor came to take care of my bandmates’ wounds, and checked my throat before giving me my meds. We left the hospital, Radioactive Youth first and then Big Time Rush, because there were too many paparazzi outside and we didn't wanted to risk being seen together in the state we were.

We got home, tired, and to our horrible surprise, it was crowded with even more paparazzi. We got in the house only to have Natalie tell us we were all over the news and that there were rumors that Lila and I were dating Kendall and James which even though we wanted it to be true, it wasn't (yet).

After locking all of our doors and closing our windows, we went into a closed up room to play board games and stuff like that, trying to kill time so that the reporters and photographers went away.

I couldn't stop thinking about James last night, of how we had kissed, how everything changed after that; the way in which he always wanted to hold my hand, how good it felt to hug him, how un-awkward it was to flirt with each other... I missed him again already. I want nothing more than be by his side and it felt pretty good to know he wanted that too. This is the first time I've fallen in love with anyone and man, it feels awesome! I just hope these paparazzi go soon so I can finally be around his arms again...

#my stories #name: Boyfriend #c2: More than Halfway There

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