Common names include:
"armadillo bug"
"billy baker" (South Somerset)
Billy Button (Dorset)
"boat-builder" (Newfoundland, Canada)[8]
"butcher boy" or "butchy boy" (Australia,[9] mostly around Melbourne[10])
"carpenter" or "cafner" (Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada)[11]
"carpet shrimp" (Ryedale)
"cheeselog" (Reading, England)[12]
"cheesy bobs" (Guildford, England)[13]
"cheesy bug" (North West Kent, England)[14]
"cheesey wig"
"chiggy pig" (Devon, England)[15][16]
"chucky pig" (Devon, Gloucestershire, Herefordshire, England)[17]
"chuggy peg" (North Devon)
"crawley baker" (Dorset)
"daddy grampher" (North Somerset)
"damp beetle" (North East England)
"dandy postman" (Essex and East London)
"doodlebug" (also used for the larva of an antlion)[18]
"gramersow" (Cornwall, England)[19]
"granny grey" (South Wales)[20]
"hog-louse"[21]
"horton bug" (Deal, Kent, England)
"humidity bug" (Ontario, Canada)
"menace" (Plymouth, Devon)
"monkey-peas" (Kent, England)[14]
"monk's louse" (transl. "munkelus", Norway)[22]
"parson's pig" (Isle of Man)[23]
"pea bug" or "peasie-bug" (Kent, England)[14]
"piggy wig"
"pill bug" (usually applied only to the genus Armadillidium)[24]
"potato bug"[25]
"roll up bug"[26]
"roly-poly"[25]
"rosary bug" (Turkey)
"slater" (Scotland, Ulster, New Zealand and Australia)[27][28][29]
"sow bug"[30]
"wood bug" (British Columbia, Canada)[31]
"wood-louse"
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WOODLICE
"Jomits" (Cloneganna)
"armadillo bug"[7]
"billy baker" (South Somerset)
Billy Button (Dorset)
Granny grey (Wales)
"boat-builder" (Newfoundland, Canada)[8]
"butcher boy" or "butchy boy" (Australia,[9] mostly around Melbourne[10])
Bunty Nathans (Western Australia)
"carpenter" or "cafner" (Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada)[11]
"carpet shrimp" (Ryedale)
"charlie pig" (Norfolk , England)
"cheeselog" (Reading, England)[12]
"cheesy bobs" (Guildford, England)[13]
"cheesy bug" (North West Kent, Gravesend, England)[14]
"cheesy lou" (Suffolk)
"cheesy papa" (Essex)
"cheesey wig"
"chiggy pig" (Devon, England)[15][16]
"chucky pig" (Devon, Gloucestershire, Herefordshire, England)[17]
"chuggy peg"
"crawley baker" (Dorset)
"daddy grampher" (North Somerset)
"damp beetle" (North East England)
"dandy postman" (Essex and East London)
"doodlebug" (also used for the larva of an antlion)[18]
"Fat Pigs" (Cork, Ireland),
"gramersow" (Cornwall, England)[19]
"Grumper-pig" (Bermuda)
"Mochyn Coed" (meaning "Tree Pig"), "Pryf lludw" (meaning "Ash fly"), "granny grey" in Wales[20]
"granny grunter" (Isle of Man)
"hardback" (Humberside, England)
"hobbling Andrew" (Oxfordshire, England)
"hog-louse"[21]
"horton bug" (Deal, Kent, England)
"humidity bug" (Ontario, Canada)
"menace" (Plymouth, Devon)
"monkey-peas" (Kent, England)[4]
"monk's louse" (transl. "munkelus", Norway)[22]
"parson's pig" (Isle of Man)[23]
"pea bug" or "peasie-bug" (Kent, England)[4]
"pennysow" (Pembrokeshire, Wales)
"piggy wig"
"pill bug" (usually applied only to the genus Armadillidium)[24]
"potato bug"[25]
"roll up bug"[26]
"roly-poly"[25]
"rosary bug" (Turkey)
"slater" (Scotland, Ulster, New Zealand and Australia)[27][28][29]
"saw bug" (Dingwall, Nova Scotia)
"sour bug" (Cambridgeshire)
"sow bug"[30]
"wood bug" (British Columbia, Canada)[31]
"wood-louse"
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in which they have each other
summary: the circumstances are less than ideal. but at least they’re together.
ship: pining royality (so technically platonic? they big gay for each other tho)
word count: 1.2k / warnings: panic attack. mentions of piercings, tattoos, and a character tattooing himself while drunk
author’s note: hi hi !! my second prompt for @sanderssidescelebrations 2019: stuck in the airport on christmas eve!!
takes place in my flowers in your hair au. this fic happens before the events of the main story. many thanks to @fangirltothefullest for picking the numbers that combined this prompt + ship + au <3
read on ao3 | read more of my holiday prompts
— — — — — —
Their flight was canceled. They were stuck.
Roman was feeling just a teeny, tiny, little bit claustrophobic. Nothing he couldn’t handle, of course! Just a couple of deep breaths and he’d be right as rain and twice as dandy! … Any moment now, Roman, go ahead. Big inhale through the nose, come on… Why did he keep getting caught! He cursed his lungs for not taking anymore air in, the blood pounding in his ears for not letting him focus, the panic grip— No! What panic? There was no panic! He w—
“—an!”
Something grabbed his hand and squeezed. It shocked him, just enough, out of his spiral. He blinked a few times, rapidly, aware suddenly of the way his vision was swimming.
“Honey,” murmured a voice from seemingly nowhere, why was everything so fuzzy?
His palm was pressed flat against something solid and oh, there was… a steady thump thump thump broke through his thoughts, a familiar rhythm, if only he could remember what it reminded him of.
“— and hold three, four—”
Without really realizing it, Roman was exhaling along to the sound of someone counting. In one two three four, they said, and then hold one two three four, and finally out one two three four. He seemed to be moving but finally having enough oxygen to start thinking properly again took priority over anything else. Besides, the even heartbeat under his palm was guiding him, and if there was one thing Roman could trust, he knew somehow that it was this.
“There you go, sugar,” the voice whispered this time but it wasn’t just ‘the,’ it was��
“Lovebug,” Roman sighed, closing his eyes and leaning in.
Patton met him easily, pressing their foreheads together. His cool skin was a relief against the feverish warmth Roman was feeling. Patton’s hold on his wrist loosened but stayed otherwise, keeping the contact there for as long as he needed. They went through a couple more rounds of deep breathing like this, Roman slouched in the chair Patton had helped him into and Patton knelt in front of him.
“I’m sorry,” was the very next thing Roman said, flinching as pain spiked abruptly through his skull.
“Hush,” Patton consoled, pulling back. He stayed close in case Roman needed him again but otherwise, went shuffling through the bag at his side. Roman watched him with half-lidded exhaustion, only now becoming aware of the commotion around them.
Right… surely, he wouldn’t be the only one upset about a canceled flight on Christmas Eve. It was one thing to be dramatic on stage or when working but to have a fit in front of—
“Darling, I’m gonna need you to rephrase that,” Patton said, just loud enough to derail that train of thought.
“I swear,” Roman muttered with a short laugh, “are you sure… you really can’t read minds?”
“Positive,” Patton ensured, “just like I want you to be.” He handed two pills to Roman, who knocked them back with a wince. He took the water Patton offered as well, drinking half of it before Patton made him slow down. “Or neutral,” he continued, “that’s fine, too.”
“I…” Roman huffed, pressing the heels of his hands against his cheeks. “I wasn’t overreacting.”
Patton started to stand, pressing a kiss to the top of Roman’s head as he did. “That’s right. You’re so smart,” he said, humming, “so talented, and strong, and handsome—”
“Patton!” Roman squeaked, catching the slider on Patton’s jacket zipper. He gave it a lackluster tug and frowned up at his partner. In… in work. Nothing more. He hoped he could blame his sudden redness on the aftereffects of the panic attack.
Shrugging the outerwear off, Patton draped it over Roman’s shoulders, before taking the seat next to him. Roman let the heavy material help keep him settled in the present, a welcome distraction from the busyness around them.
“Of all the people to spend Christmas Eve with,” Patton said, so innocently, so nonchalantly, “I’m not bad company, am I?”
The laugh burst out of Roman before he could stop it. “There’s no one I’d rather be with,” Roman said solemnly, unable to help his own smile spreading at how easily this made Patton light up.
“Not even Lin-Manuel Miranda?”
“Now hold on—”
“I’m teasing, Ro!” Patton interrupted, giggling.
Even in the fluorescent lighting, he looked so pretty. The chains of his cuff earrings made the slightest tinging against the bells hanging from his earlobes, which produced their own musical chime every time he so much as shifted. His curls, currently dyed lavender, were contained barely underneath his favorite pink, yellow, and blue beanie; Roman wished Patton’s hair was loose so that he could run his fingers through it.
“You’re staring, sweetie.”
“Can you blame me?”
A moment. A mutual yearning for more. It passed.
“Text Remy,” Patton suggested, “ask if they can check the shop for us.”
Grateful for the distraction, Roman retrieved his phone and began typing out a message.
Of course, it wouldn’t be fair if Patton didn’t get his own moment of admiring Roman, now would it? From his rainbow side shave to the silver hidden Mickey behind his ear to his sparkling nose stud, Roman was bright in every sense of the word. Honestly, Patton was the lucky one here; he couldn’t imagine going through this poor series of events with anyone else. They’d very nearly missed the plane entirely when a TSA agent gave Patton trouble for his belly button piercing. Making it on time only to find out the flight had been canceled anyway due to a snowstorm back home in New York had really been the cherry on top of their terrible evening. Roman was probably worn-out and… Oh, shoot.
“Doodlebug, I’m sorry!” Patton exclaimed, reaching out and covering the phone screen. “I can’t believe I already forgot about your headache.”
Roman smiled at him, all soft and appreciative. “Your concern heals me all its own—”
“You’re still shaking,” Patton cut in, unimpressed.
He took Roman’s phone and set it in the cup holder of the armrest between them. Patton held his hand out which Roman took without hesitation. The trembling was more apparent now but Patton focused instead on trailing the patterns of ink on Roman’s right hand.
“Remember you gave yourself this one after Percy bet you fifty dollars you couldn’t?” The tattoo was in CMYK, four perfect squares on his fingers, just before the bend of his knuckles. “You were so drunk,” Patton added, laughing, “but he didn’t know that you’re ambidextrous.”
“He didn’t ask,” Roman defended.
Patton flipped Roman’s hand over and Roman groaned just as Patton traced his fingernail over the faded infinity sign on the inside of his wrist. “Come on, sunshine, not that one.”
“The one that started it all!” Patton said affectionately. “Where would we be without it?”
Roman waited a beat. He could confess now, pour his heart out, admit that he wouldn’t be anywhere worthwhile, because it would be a world without Patton, without their parlor, without this little space they’d carved out for themselves in the universe.
“Somewhere awfully boring,” he said quietly instead.
“Hmm,” Patton tilted his head, sliding their hands together so that their fingers were entwined, lining up the halves of two hearts so that they matched. He smiled at the connected tattoos. “I think so, too.”
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