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xxrainbow-princessxx · 4 years

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No Expectations

Can Leo, Liam and Drake get the answers to their questions? Will Isabella’s state dinner bring something or someone new into her life?

Warnings: Cursing, Violence, Premonition of Death, Sexual innuendo

Chapter listing!

Chapter 1: Enough

Chapter 2: Homeward Bound

Chapter 3: Band of Brothers

Chapter 4: Dearest Sympathies

Tag list: @lorirwritesfanfic @drakewalkerfantasy @desireepow-1986 @rainbowsinthestorm @lorircreates @liam-rhys @rafasgirl23415 @kimmiedoo5 @hopefulmoonobject @kingliam2019 @itslaniquelove @texaskitten30 @mom2000aggie

“Maxwell and Bertrand...” Liam grinned, “So glad you could join us!” The Valtorian countryside provided a stunning backdrop for a day of relaxation and bonding a week after Leo, Drake and Liam concocted their plan to take down the brothers Beaumont. Drake took a deep breath, taking in the scenery, “Nothing better than a little fishing and beers to take our minds off of things...” before placing the bottle of beer to his lips, taking a refreshing drink. Liam looked down, kicking the dirt and stones with his shoe. “Your Majesty...” Bertrand sighed, “Liam... is everything ok?” Licking his lips, Liam then bit down on his lower lip. He wanted to scream, he wanted to stop pretending but he knew how important it was to lull Maxwell and Bertrand into a false sense of security. “Sorry...” he tried to smile, a smile that never truly reached his eyes, “I was miles away...” all Liam could think about was how much he wanted to make the Beaumont Brother’s feel pain as much as they made him suffer. Watching Liam carefully, Leo’s sea green eyes narrowed as his brother clenched his jaw; quickly interjecting as he threw his arm around Liam’s shoulder to diffuse a potential flaw with their plan, “Brother...” he chuckled with a mischievous grin, “Should we head back to the Estate for lunch? I have a bottle of Dalmore 62 with our names on it!” Drake slowly began to smirk as he teased, “That’s some goddamn good scotch Leo... but I thought Sánchez cut you off?” Leo began to laugh heartily, “Don’t you be worrying about me Drake, I kept a piggy bank to save for a rainy day...” Drake slowly shook his head, smiling, “You’re the only guy I know who actively plans for a batchelor fund...” Leo’s sea green eyes rolled to the left towards Bertrand and Maxwell as he ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, “Always best to prepare Walker... you never know when someone’s ready to shit on your doorstep...”

“Do you know the most interesting thing about the Valtorian Estate’s library?” Liam quizzed his guests as he swirled around the caramel hued liquid, “Where we stand right now is where the treaties between the Five Kingdoms were signed...” Bertrand began to nod, “Yes...” before he straightened his blazer jacket, “quite historically significant...” Liam took a deep breath, the scent of the single malt tickled his nose as the smell of orange and chocolate filled his senses before taking a sip, holding it momentarily as he warmly smiled savouring the taste, “It was where our houses came together to agree to protect Cordonia at all costs... and right now...” Liam sucked in his cheeks, “...we need to be united...” As each man nodded, Leo raised his crystal tumbler, “To Cordonia!” he roared triumphantly followed thereafter by the chorus of gathered men, “To Cordonia!” Leo and Liam looked at one another, both grinning mischievously. Like a lion, both brothers had their prey in their sights, they could smell their fear, their anxiety as every second passed. Leo and Liam toyed with the Beaumont brothers relishing in their unknowing; it was imperative that not only physically they were in jeopardy but also their psychological well-being wanting them to doubt themselves. Liam’s steel blue eyes glistened as he glanced left towards Leo and Drake with a barely noticeable nod, his patience was thinning; it was time.

Leo and Liam manoeuvred themselves behind both Maxwell and Bertrand with Drake directing them both. With a sharp nod, Liam took Maxwell and Leo took Bertrand into a chokehold, keeping the pressure on as they struggled. Bertrand passed out with anxiety but Maxwell put on more of a struggle. Drake clenched his hand tightly and his lips curled upwards into a smirk, “I’ve waited a lifetime for this...” slamming his fist against Maxwell’s jaw knocking him out. Whilst dragging both of the Beaumont’s unconscious bodies across the floor Liam grinned, “Another fact about this Library...” he kicked the bottom shelf, and a hidden door slowly opened, “The hidden passageway leads to the dungeons...” Their hearts raced, bodies filled with adrenaline as they shackled both Maxwell and Bertrand to the chains on the walls. “Wake the fuck up!” Drake roared throwing freezing cold water over both of the brothers. Bertrand gasped, his chest heaving, “where... what? Where am I?!” Leo had both Bertrand and Maxwell exactly where he wanted them. With a growling authority in his voice, he finally broke his silence, “I think pinky and the brain here have a lot of fucking explaining to do...”

“Please... please...” Bertrand begged as Liam held Maxwell by the throat, his nostrils were flaring, his whole body shaking with anger squeezing as Maxwell turned redder and redder, his eyes straining as he struggled to breathe. Liam seethed, angrily roaring, “You taunt me with my daughter you sick son of a bitch! I will kill you with my bare hands!” Bertrand watched in horror as Liam flipped and Leo held a dagger placing the sharp tip on his Adam’s apple. Every swallow Bertrand made reminded him that he was millimetres from death , “Stop... I beg... you!” Bertrand cried, “Please! I’ll tell you what you need to know!” Leo pressed a little more, “Remember Beaumont... each lie will be costly...” grabbing his hand and slamming it against the stone wall, “You stole from us...” he seethed as Leo’s sea green eyes burned with pure hatred driving the dagger right through the middle of his hand. Bertrand let out a blood chilling scream as the former Crown Prince of Cordonia’s lips curled upwards, “You better start fucking talking!” Liam finally let go of Maxwell’s throat, the younger Beaumont gasped greedily for air. “When we finally got a hold of our father’s documents; he and Godfrey planned for a new Cordonia; a better Cordonia... Queen Hélène knew she was in danger and ran but as always everything was brushed under the carpet until Constantine...” Bertrand snorted, “...was that idiotic he remarried and Eleanor had Liam... they had another opportunity...” Drake glared at both of the brothers, “Another opportunity?” As both Bertrand and Maxwell began to laugh, Drake clenched his teeth, “Another opportunity for what?!”

Even in Leo’s absence, Royal engagements still had to go ahead, no matter how Isabella felt. The petite brunette took a deep breath as she entered the state dinner. Her yellow gown complimented her olive sun kissed skin, her make up was simple but elegant as the Queen took her seat. Isabella immediately placed her right hand on the table but instead of feeling the warmth of her husband’s fingers encapsulating hers, Isabella felt only the linen tablecloth. Turning her head, it wasn’t her husband she found beside her but the Laurentian Prime Minister. There was no sweet nothings whispered into her ear, no promises made. In a room full of people, the young Monarch had never left so alone. The stares she could deal with, but the whispering and speculations; not so much. Isabella’s signature bright, dazzling smile was nowhere to be seen as she withdrew in herself counting down the minutes until she could leave. In present circumstance, no one dared approach the Laurentian Queen as Isabella’s absent expression kept those at arms length. With the lights lowering, the string quartet’s soft murmurs brought those in attendance to the dancefloor giving Isabella her opportunity to leave as the petite brunette gracefully exited the hall into the landscaped Laurentian Royal gardens.

Isabella turned, staring back at the Palace wondering how she and Leo could have gotten everything so wrong. Right now, she would have given up everything to feel happy again. The chill in the evening air made Isabella shiver until she felt a jacket being draped over her shoulders causing Isabella to jump, “Please forgive me Your Majesty...” a tall, stunningly handsome man bowed to her, “But you seemed cold...” Isabella wrapped the dinner blazer around her a little more embracing the heat, allowing her stony expression slowly relax into a smile, “Thank you... I’m sorry...” Isabella’s eyes narrowed slightly trying to place the blonde haired, blue eyed stranger, “Do I know you from somewhere?” The stranger began to chuckle as he spoke in an English accent, “Once again I apologise for my brashness Your Majesty... Lord Matthew Devereaux...” he bowed again, “I am a guest of The Duke and Duchess of Lorien this evening...” Isabella raised her brow as she tapped her finger against her lip, “And renowned Laurentian Law expert from London... Your reputation precedes you...” Isabella twisted her mouth slightly at the aggravation, “How... convenient...” as she began to remove his jacket, Matthew shook his head politely s as he began to laugh, “I’m afraid divorce law is not my forte Your Majesty, I have no other reason to be here than to be a guest... please...” he gestured to his jacket, “It’s cold...” Isabella’s stern expression softened as her eyes met Matthew’s. It was like looking into a serene lagoon, they were the palest blue she had ever seen. “You seemed a little down at dinner...” he continued, “...and when I saw you out here afterwards... I didn’t want you to be alone, you seemed like you could do with the company... at least this way...” he began to smile warmly towards the Laurentian beauty, “If anyone were to ask, you could always say you wanted counsel...”

Isabella slowly began to grin, her almond shaped eyes narrowed as she laughed, “Yes... I suppose you are right Lord Devereaux, I could...” it felt good to laugh after the past few weeks. Isabella appreciated the sentiment that someone would be more interested in her wellbeing right now that winning her affections like many others had already tried. The music echoed through the quiet evening air all she wanted was to dance and feel somewhat carefree. “As unorthodox that this may be...” Isabella began to giggle putting out her hand, “May I ask if you would kindly accept my invitation to dance with me?” Bowing, Matthew looked up at her smiling, “It would be my honour Your Majesty...” Isabella was pleasantly surprised, “You know the Laurentian Waltz?” Lord Devereaux nodded, “Yes... my grandmother taught me... she once was a lady’s maid in this very Palace before your grandmother Queen Thérèse introduced her to what would be my grandfather...” as they swayed from side to side rather formally Matthew caught a glimpse into Isabella’s dark chocolate brown eyes, the moonlight capturing those honey and gold little specs that glittered with hope and solace, “Very touching...” Isabella smiled sweetly as Matthew continued, “She taught me many Laurentian values and traditions, thus the interest... I’m sure you can’t paint the rest of the picture...” Isabella began to laugh, “Yes... I’m sure I can Lord Devereaux...” With a flick of the wrist, Matthew spun her gently, “Please Your Majesty... no need for formalities, Matthew will suffice...” Isabella didn’t know what it was about him that drew her closer to him but he peaked her interest, “In that case, you can grant me the same luxury, please... call me Isabella...”

#choices #the royal romance #leo x isabella #king liam #drake walker #maxwell beaumont #prince leo #playchoices #choices fanfiction #choices the royal romance #queen isabella #royal romance au #playchoices fanfiction

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #222: A Gathering of Evil!

August, 1982

You know, I haven’t really thought about how long its been since the Avengers have dealt with the Masters of Evil.

The Masters are the Avengers’ evil opposite team. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants to their X-Men. The Legion of Doom to their Justice League. The Revengers to their Avengers.

But the Avengers haven’t had to deal with the Masters of Evil since Avengers #83. And in that appearance, they took a backseat to the real master of evil. FEMINISM.

At least according to Roy Thomas.

But yeah. Its been a while without the Masters of Evil. And, uh, any team with Whirlwind has a long way to climb for credibility. Yeah, I said it. He doesn’t wear a shirt.

Also, they put She-Hulk in her at-the-time Iconic She-Hulk Outfit. This is another case of the cover lying. The reality is, somehow, even more embarrassing for her.

Last time: the Avengers had a membership drive because you can only be a kooky quartet for so long. She-Hulk and Hawkeye were recruited and took an instant dislike to each other.

Because She-Hulk cut off Hawkeye in traffic and Hawkeye proportionately responded by breaking her car.

Fun!

So lets get to it.

We start with She-Hulk trying to fix her car.

Annnnd she’s throwing random pieces out of the hood. I don’t think she knows much about auto-repair.

When the electrical system zaps her, she gets so angry that she smashes the car flat like she’s a Street Fighter. Then she jams the wreckage into a public trashcan - also flattening that.

Alas, She-Hulk’s pink Cadillac. You graced our lives for far too short a time. And were taken from us by that heinous bowman Hawkeye. This is the sin which I will always hold against him.

Wasp rolls into the scene, tsking about She-Hulk’s behavior being bad for the Avengers’ image. And hey, yeah! I do like that She-Hulk trying to fix a car in front of the mansion before getting fed-up and breaking it is a good indication that she’s not going to be your typical Avenger.

But despite the tsk she’s not too serious about the admonishment. She even congratulates She-Hulk on getting rid of the car, as it clashed with her skin color.

Reasonably enough, She-Hulk asks who made Wasp the expert.

Except, Wasp did. Wasp made Wasp an expert. She’s literally a professional fashion designer. But relatedly, she’s designed a whole new wardrobe for She-Hulk and can’t wait to dress her up.

I kind of wonder if Wasp views new female teammates as potential canvasses.

Later on, in the Busiek run, she’ll design a new outfit for Firestar pretty much without any input from Firestar herself. And it had an incredibly plunging neckline that Firestar was very uncomfortable with.

If Wasp offers to fashion design for you, feel flattered and a little bit afraid.

Anyway, She-Hulk decides well might be nice to try on a bunch of new clothes.

Y’know, She-Hulk is a bit of a fashion person herself. In her original solo book she started the ‘oops I flexed and my sleeves fell off’ fashion.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Tony Stark at Stark International.

Big boss himself came down to the Long Island office because one of his programmers has asked for time off.

Brenner’s son is sick and he needs to pick him up from school. BUT: he’s in the middle of a complicated computer project!

Like the idealized fictional caring billionaire that he is, Tony is completely understanding.

Tony Stark, what a guy: “Well, your son is more important than any computer program, take the rest of the day off -- with pay.”

If you end up stuck in the Marvel universe somehow, see about swinging a job with Tony Stark. Tony Stark makes you feel/he’s the cool exec with the heart of steel.

Tony decides he’ll get Ordinary Electrical Engineer Scott Lang to finish the programming work.

Ordinary Electrical Engineer Scott Lang is happy to pick up the project but since Tony Stark is in the room anyway, Scott asks if Iron Man has mentioned any news of Hank Pym.

For you see, although you might think that this Scott Lang is an Ordinary Electrical Engineer, he is actually the new Ant-Man so he feels indebted to Hank Pym.

Tony responds that there hasn’t been any news since Hank Pym went to jail so Scott asks why the Avengers haven’t done anything for him. Tony claims that there’s not a lot that the Avengers can do for him until his case comes to trial.

You could hire him a good lawyer? Or pay for that therapy that you thought he needed?

I guess I don’t know that Tony isn’t doing these things off-screen, to be fair.

Tony further claims that Hank will do fiiiine in jail, because he’s tough. Scott remains dubious since he’s actually been to jail and knows what its like. But there’s only so much you can contradict the boss, even if he’s idealized fictional caring billionaire Tony Stark.

And anyway, Tony has other things on his mind. He’s more worried about Jan than he is about Hank. She’s way too well-adjusted for having gotten divorced after her marriage turned miserable. According to Tony Stark anyway.

Of course, his major misunderstanding is that he thinks “she had [Hank] to lean on for so many years” when it was more the other way around. The Jan he thought he knew was actually playing the role of the Hank Pym Hype Squad.

Meanwhile, we check in on Steve Rogers.

One thing I appreciate about this run of Avengers is that we have more of a sense of what the Avengers are doing when not Avengersing. The Avengers book feels a lot more keyed into the rest of the related Marvel universe.

For example, Steve actually got some art jobs! It looks like comics book actually! And he does art for advertisements too!

And he’s living that glamorous artist life of staying up all night to finish pages and then going ‘oh shit my day job’ when his alarm rings for the Avengers meeting.

Although he’s actually looking forward to getting the costume on and getting away from dealing with ad executives and art editors for a while.A good ol’ several hours in the Avengers gym will help work out the art desk bad posture knots out of his shoulders.

And elsewhere in Chicago, Illinois, where Ordinary Doctor Donald Blake has moved to attempt to make a life for himself separate from Thor. He’s doubtful whether he actually can.

I sorta wonder what the status quo in the Thor books is like because usually when Dr. Donald Blake shows up in the Avengers book, he’s been like a wandering expert doctor, just passing through. Showing up to do the tough medical jobs. He’s settling down in Chicago now.

But at least the thousand mile commute to the weekly Avengers meeting is no problem for THOR!

Now that Hawkeye is on the Avengers again, he’s part of the round of checking in. He’s clocking out of the security chief job at Cross Technological Enterprises. His colleagues all envying how he gets to set his own hours.

He takes a train from Yonkers to his new Central Park West apartment. I don’t know if you remember his living conditions before he got the job at Cross Technological but it was a bit suck. He’s definitely put his steady paycheck to use improving his digs.

Old (from issue #189):

New (from issue #this issue):

Although maybe too much. Because when he gets home he realizes that he has almost no food in his apartment and also no money until payday.

Hawkeye: “Where the heck does $1200 a week go, anyway? I don’t play Pac-Man that much! There was more change in my pocket in the old carny days!”

Psst, Hawkeye. Definitely sign up for the stipend check from Stark.

Another thousand a week will go a long way to keeping you living the can afford food standard of living you’re accustomed to.

He manages to find a bag of potato chips to snack on but decides he’ll have to see if he can find an actual square meal at Avengers Mansion.

Likely. Jarvis seems the sort to keep the fridge well-stocked and heck he’d probably make something if asked.

Anyway, Hawkeye being Hawkeye, he’s not going to take the elevator or stairs. He’s definitely going to fire a cable arrow so he can swing down from his balcony. Because, of course he is. He’s Hawkeye.

And he lands right in front of a taxi, the driver of which calls him a nut

Hawkeye: “You want a star in your cab or not?”

Turns out? No. Hawkeye has to walk to Avengers Mansion and arrives late because the cabbie won’t give him a free ride.

Meanwhile at Avengers Mansion (which fails to elicit the same kneejerk emotional response as ‘meanwhile at the HALL of JUSTICE’ from me), the She-Hulk clothing montage has occurred off-screen.

For shaaaame, James Shooter. And also Steven Grant.

She-Hulk isn’t so sure about the outfit Wasp put together for her.

Wasp: “I call it Arabian Night -- a blend of suppleness, strength and sensitivity to highlight your true nature!”

She-Hulk: “Don’t you think it’s a little... unusual?”

Wasp: “You’re an unusual woman, Jennifer! Your clothes should say that! We want a complete image that’ll drive me wild at the sight of you!”

She-Hulk: “Got anything that’ll drive that jerk Hawkeye one way to oblivion?”

I don’t know if fashion can do that but if anyone could design that, Wasp could. Her or Giger.

Wasp tries to defend Hawkeye but can only manage “he’s okay, just a little... um, well, you know!” but suggests that She-Hulk just be nice to Hawkeye to throw him off.

Which. Sounds like a funny idea.

Anyway, I like the outfit. The colors work for her. And maybe it’s because there are a couple Dragon Ball outfits like this but it feels appropriate for her. Because of the punching.

Iron Man comes in and goes ga-ga multiple punctuation over She-Hulk’s new look, which I guess proves that Wasp hit where she was aiming.

Wasp: “Oh, more flattery! More! I love it! And this is just the beginning. Wait until you see the fighting togs I’m designing for her!”

So I guess that this is just an outfit to look good in and Wasp is still working on the superhero outfit. Can’t wait to see it.

Captain America and Thor come in and Thor too praises She-Hulk’s new look.

Thor: “By Odin’s beard! What emerald beauty stands before us?”

They date later. Its one of those ‘wow expected this to happen way sooner than 2018 honestly’ things.

And then Hawkeye comes in.

He also loses his shit over She-Hulk’s new look. But in more of a Hawkeye way.

Hawkeye: “Waitaminit! Is it Cheryl Tiegs? Loni Anderson? No! It’s the new fashion plate -- the Savage She-Hulk! Talk about trying to get silk purses from sow’s ears!”

You’re a rude, Hawkeye.

She-Hulk storms towards him, offended, and just lifts him bodily.

And kisses him.

Then drops his ass on the ground.

I guessss remembering and putting her own spin on Wasp’s suggestion?

People need to stop kissing each other for spite and revenge reasons, honestly.

I do get a laugh at Hawkwye demanding a rematch. Can’t imagine what form that’d take. But its funny.

I kind of have a problem with the scene, beyond the people kissing each other for spite and revenge thing. Prior to joining the Avengers, the issue where She-Hulk got her pink Cadillac was Marvel Two-In-One #88 where she spent nearly the entire issue hitting on the Thing to his discomfort. And the joke was Ha Ha Sexually Assertive Women.

I really hope that we do not have that again.

Anyway, the other Avengers get some yuks over She-Hulk’s method of shutting up Hawkeye.

Iron Man even suggests that Hawkeye and She-Hulk have just had their first date to Hawkeye’s dismay.

Seriously, someone write an Avengers code of conduct and then create an HR department.

MEANWHILE, CHANGING THE TOPIC AND THE SCENE

In Egghead��s secret Manhattan laboratory.

Egghead: “No, it’s not fair! All I ever wanted was to rule the world -- is that so much to ask? I’m 52. That doesn’t give me many years left -- that idiot Henry Pym blew what may have been my last chance!”

Hah at Egghead having a baby tantrum over being thwarted. And I guess good to know that Hank screwing up the plan by calling the Avengers did screw over more than Hank Pym.

Hank may have saved the world, actually. Good job, Hank.

Egghead laments that he wishes he had another good plan but kind of put all the eggs, hah, in the unstoppable adamantium robots basket.

And then his sexy maid Anna chimes in with a suggestion.

Wait, why does Egghead of all villains have a sexy maid? Who seems to have a crush on him? Why is this a thing? Who in or out of universe looks at Egghead and thinks ‘yes this man is a sexual dynamo’?

Eh, whatever.

Anna: “Vhy don’t choo just buy the vorld, darlkink?”

Egghead: “Anna! Vhat... er, what did you say?”

Anna: “You should make a lot ov money und buy the vorld!”

Egghead: “Work?! Disgusting!”

This is probably the only time I will ever be able to say this but I agree with Egghead.

Anna: “No, no, no! Just invent somethink that everyvun vants -- a cure for baldness, mebbe... or eternal youth!”

Egghead: “That’s silly, Anna! Or is it?”

IT IN FACT WASN’T!

Egghead suddenly stands up, dumping sexy maid Anna to the floor, as he realizes that she’s right! If Egghead could invent cell rejuvenation to give people eternal youth, the world would be his oyster! People would give anything for it!

Granted, he has no idea how to invent cell rejuvenation but that’s tomorrow’s problem. Today’s problem is the logistics. He’ll need research, money, equipment and most importantly of all lackeys to steal all that stuff for him so he won’t have to Effort!

So moments later, Egghead signals a robot spy capsule that he has monitoring Atlantis at all times just because.

Egghead’s spy capsule launches a guided missile at an Atlantean prison, busting out someone mysterious unless you happened to glance at the cover.

And we go from one prison to another prison to pop in on Hank Pym at Ryker’s Island.

Ryker’s is apparently the go-to supervillain prison.

And whoops Hank Pym is one now, at least according to the law. What with being caught with all that stolen adamantium and the mind control prosthetic arm.

Hank Pym: “It just doesn’t make sense! All I tried to do was redeem myself, but things just got out of control! Egghead’s responsible for this! He committed the crime I’m accused of -- and made sure I can’t prove it! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?”

Probably because you did do the crime and were caught in the act and you wouldn’t explain yourself fully afterward. Just saying.

Hank Pym: “Jan! That’s where it all went wrong! If I could get her back, everything would work out! I know it!”

Hank Hank Hank... You’re suddenly a romantic.

A guard yells at Hank that its food time and then further yells that his son had looked up to Hank, which causes Hank to reflect whoops he let down more than just Jan and the Avengers.

When Hank sits down to eat prison chow, he’s accosted by Dave Cannon aka WHIRLWIND aka I guess Hank’s backup archnemesis?

Hank isn’t really spoiled for choice with good archnemeses so he either has Egghead or spin around real fast man.

At least Dave Cannon aka Whirlwind is trying to go for the personal lowblow. That’s a decent, if gross, archnemesis move.

He insinuates that hey if Jan divorced Hank that means Dave has a chance with her and he’s going to visit her as soon as he jailbreaks out of here today.

I’m sure he does have a chance. Like a snowball’s in hell, maybe.

Hank tells Dave to shut up because shut up, Dave.

But Dave ups the ante by suggesting that after Hank Pym gets out of jail in maybe ten or twenty years, he and Jan will hire Hank to be their chauffeur.

So Hank smashes a tray of food in Dave’s face because shut up, Dave.

He also starts punching him because in for a penny.

And because Hank totally started that ‘fight’ the guards haul Hank off for a month in solitary.

You wouldn’t think Hank’s life could get worse in every issue he appears in but you would be wrong.

And wouldn’t you know it? As soon as Hank is out of the room, the jailbreak starts without him.

He doesn’t even get to participate in activities now! Geez, Dave Cannon! You’re ruining prison for Hank.

Anyway, the mysterious figure from the Atlantis jailbreak scene is now jailbreaking Ryker’s and iiiiiits TIGER SHARK!

A guy I know almost nothing about!

-google- Ah, Namor foe. That explains him being a shark man.

He used to be an Olympic swimmer who injured his spinal cord when he rescued a drowning man. So a pretty good guy, starting off. Then to heal his spine he participated in an experimental procedure where Namor and tiger shark DNA was blended with his own and he became a shark man and an asshole.

I think that’s the Namor DNA personally. It makes people into jerks. And Namor is 100% Namor DNA so you can imagine what a jerk he is.

I’ve gotten lost in the weeds.

Tiger Shark busts in through a supposedly impregnable prison wall. The guards try to shoot him with ‘special weapons’ but Tiger Shark thwarts them with a special weapon of his own.

A TABLE!

Which he uses to block the shots and then hit them with.

They were fools to put their faith in high-falutin’ technology when they could have been investing in low-falutin’ carpentry.

That’s right, they should have gotten wooden guns.

With the guards tabled for now, Tiger Shark collects Scorpion and Whirlwind.

That’s two supervillains on his shopping list but there’s one more to get.

So the three detour over down to the women’s wing while the jailbreak of everyone else keeps the guards very busy.

And they find Dr. Karla Sofen, Ordinary Criminal Psychologist who got superpower from a space rock. Y’know, a Moonstone.

She has a few follow-up questions before she throws in with these goons but Tiger Shark isn’t a good conversationalist.

Tiger Shark: “You wanna get snuffed right here, lady?! Move! Negotiations are closed!”

She grudgingly accepts these terms. The caption box says so.

The four supervillains take a remote controlled escape boat and escape on a boat.

Later, in a safehouse on Long Island Sound, the four supervillains are all costumed up and already feeling cooped up with each other. It is a small house and they are all big personalities.

Tiger Shark and Whirlwind even get into a fight when Tiger Shark complains about waiting and about suburbia and Whirlwind tells him to shut up. And by fight I mean Tiger Shark smacks Whirlwind in the head. Because its Whirlwind.

Ant-Man’s backup archnemesis. And Tiger Shark fights Namor. Its a mismatch.

But its enough of a ‘fight’ to cause a stir.

Egghead: “Stop your silly squabbling! Fighting among yourselves won’t further my plans!”

Moonstone: “Wha -- ?! Egghead?!”

Tiger Shark: “What’s an Egghead?”

Hah.

I don’t know why this exchange amuses me so much.

Egghead is perfectly happy to introduce himself slash ramble on and on with words words words. He is PERHAPS the world’s greatest genius (hahahahah noooo) but says he may find a cure to Tiger Shark’s “repugnant amphibious condition.”

Egghead: “If you all follow me without question, you’ll share in my forthcoming power and wealth! In addition to being bodyguards, you’ll perform various tasks for me -- beginning tonight, when you loot a certain Manhattan medical research center to obtain data and supplies! Cross me -- and no one will ever hear from you again!”

I’ll make fun of Egghead any day of the week but I’ll give him this. He evidently delivers this speech with such conviction that ‘shark man who fights Namor’ just nods and apparently thinks yes this sounds legit.

And lets be honest, between Whirlwind, Scorpion, Moonstone, and Tiger Shark none of them look at this eggheaded guy threatening them and think about trying something.

Egghead appoints Moonstone his deputy and team leader. Because, he says, she’s such a well-trained follower.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

So, Dr. Karla Sofen first appeared as a henchwoman to Dr. Faustus.

But then she tricked the original Moonstone into giving the moonstone to her and became the new Moonstone. And here I didn’t even know there was an original Moonstone.

My point being, yes, early on you might look at Moonstone’s history and think ‘yes she’s definitely a subordinate person who won’t give me trouble’ but from a modern perspective?

I know Modern Moonstone for basically being the Starscream of whatever team she’s on. Starting from Thunderbolts at least, she’s never the boss, she’s happy being the deputy but she’s always scheming and manipulating and undermining her boss.

I really want this to be a hilariously bad judge of character Egghead has made. I really do.

Meanwhile, Whirlwind thinks that he’ll play along with Egghead’s plans. Until he gets bored.

And then I guess he gets bored like five seconds later because he decides that since the job Egghead wants them to do isn’t until evening, he can go visit Wasp.

And yeah. We scene transition to Avengers Mansion and Whirlwind is just lurking in the bushes spying on Wasp’s limo.

Inside the mansion, with the Avengers’ meeting over, the Avengers all get ready to go about the rest of their business.

Hawkeye saying he has to get home gets She-Hulk to start musing on how she hasn’t had a real home since she left Los Angeles.

Which she did for... reasons? She seemed like she was going to stay in LA at the end of her original Savage She-Hulk book. She probably did it so she could do crossovers. That makes sense.

Wasp tells She-Hulk that since Tony doesn’t charge rent, She-Hulk can just stay at Avengers Mansion for a while. And in a couple days, she’ll take She-Hulk apartment hunting.

Wasp is a good friend.

She heads out to her limo and tells Mr. Carrothers to take her to her Manhattan apartment.

BUT WHOOPS iiiiiiiiiits Whirlwind!

He knocked out Mr. Carrothers over the head and stashed him in the bushes. Wow, being Wasp’s chauffeur is very eventful.

Whirlwind: “Forget him. I’m the man in your life now! I figure with your ex in the slammer, you’re gonna need an understanding shoulder to lean on -- .”

And then Wasp shrinks down and shoots Whirlwind in the face.

Wasp: “That’s awfully considerate of you. But next time send flowers first, okay? By the way, have you ever met me bio-electric sting?”

Get rekt, Whirlwind.

This has been a really good span of issues for Wasp. I’m boggling a little. My standards weren’t super high to be honest but this has been good.

I mean, aside from her wearing her Avengers #194-196 costume again. The one with only one pant leg. Of all your costumes to wear under normal clothes, why this one, Jan?

Outside the limo, Hawkeye is trying to sneak back into the mansion to raid the pantry and hoping everyone else has gone.

Because he doesn’t want them to know that two-jobs Hawkeye is having money trouble, I guess? But dude, just confide in Jarvis. He’s a good guy.

Anyway, point being, because of Hawkeye’s hungry little tummy, he sneaks back to the mansion in time to see flashes of energy from inside Jan’s limo.

Hawkeye runs to Jan’s rescue and instantly gets blasted by Moonstone who has just arrived to yell at Whirlwind for taking off without her permission.

Whirlwind says he doesn’t have to answer to Moonstone and a presumably very frustrated Moonstone answers yes he does, that is the very thing he has agreed to when he joined the new Masters of Evil!

I feel maybe announcing loudly that you are the new Masters of Evil right in front of the Avengers is kind of jumping the gun.

Not to mention having the whole time show up to pose like a team just to pull Whirlwind’s butt out of the fire but like I said, this isn’t a very impressive seeming iteration of the Masters.

They do have this much, at least. Hawkeye recognizes each one of these bozos (muffled foghorns from Titan Up the Defense way) and recognizes that he and Wasp are outpowered in addition to being outnumbered.

Reinforced by Tiger Shark just smacking Wasp out of the air.

I think her one legged outfit is slowing her down.

So Hawkeye fires a flare arrow to try to summon help.

Remember when the Avengers had radio rings? That’d probably be a less obvious way to signal for help. Because Moonstone sees Hawkeye shoot a flare arrow that LIGHTS UP THE AREA and shoots him for sending up a signal.

And then she turns to the others and goes “Why didn’t you blunderers stop him?”

Its a good point. Tiger Shark points out though that she didn’t stop him either.

Again: not a very impressive iteration of the team.

Whirlwind, trying to put on the pragmatic hat way too late, says that they should kill Hawkeye and skedaddle because fighting in front of Avengers Mansion makes him nervous.

But he’s still Whirlwind so he’s still gross so he thinks to himself that he wants to grab Wasp before they go.

And what, dude? You gonna keep her under your bed? WHATS YOUR CREEPY ENDGAME?

On second thought, I don’t want to know. Geez, this is awful but I’m glad that Wasp died in Ultimate comics before an exceptionally creepy Ultimate Whirlwind could show up and keep her in a well or something.

Hey, maybe if we tell Whirlwind that Living Laser is also obsessed with Wasp, the two will fight to the death and I won’t have to deal with either one!

Anyway. Off-track. Anyway.

With a sound of thunder, a Perfectly Ordinary Uru Hammer THOOMs by smacking every villain before returning to Thor’s hand.

Yeah, fighting in front of Avengers Mansion? Really dumb!

Thor: “Stand back, perfidious mortals, or face the wrath of Thor!”

Wasp: “Huh? Thor! I always thought you were handsome -- but you never looked better than you do now!”

Thor: “Fair Wasp, thou art safe in my hands!”

Wasp: (Mmmm! Don’t I wish!)

Well, you’re free to play the field now, Wasp. Go for it.

Meanwhile, over in Avengers Mansion, She-Hulk hears the racket and gets up from her nap to see a supervillain battle taking place on the street in front of the Mansion and just kind of sighs about New York being like this.

Again again: fighting in front of Avengers Mansion? REALLY DUMB!

Moonstone even realizes it.

Moonstone: “This is insane -- wasting our energy battling the Avengers for nothing! We’ve got to end this fight and escape!”

She tells Scorpion to take Thor which either shows a high esteem of him or a very low regard. Either way, Scorpion is happy to try, tail-whipping Thor through the air.

Inside the mansion, She-Hulk decides that the only way to get some peace and quiet is to throw hands. Side benefit: she’ll also get to prove herself to the Avengers.

But I like that the primary reason is that she just wants to have a dang nap and this nonsense is preventing it.

So she OH YEAHs through the window because heck Tony Stark will pay to fix it and runs towards the battle.

Haha look at that tiny alarmed Jarvis in the window. I love that kind of background detail. Amazing.

Wasp takes a break from, I dunno fantasizing about Thor, to fly over in a panic.

Wasp: “Oh, no! That outfit is an original! Tear it -- and I’ll never speak to you again!”

She sure has her priorities. I think maybe she doesn’t think these new Masters of Evil are all that threatening.

Maybe she shouldn’t be so worried though. She-Hulk just jumped through a glass window and the outfit looks untouched.

She-Hulk: “You can’t be serious?! You are. Ohhh... fudge! This is ridiculous!”

She definitely had to stop herself from saying an f-bomb.

So She-Hulk stops running to help Thor and sits down to start pulling the Van Dyne Original outfit off so Wasp won’t friend break up with her.

I’m sure Thor is doing fine though.

Ha ha, just kidding.

Moondragon is keeping him pinned down with her laser blasts and Tiger Shark hits him with something almost as powerful as TABLE.

A CAR.

Tiger Shark: “That Avenger creep thinks he’s the strongest there is. Me, I can withstand the pressures of the ocean’s floor without breathing hard. So when you’re talking strength -- you’re talking Tiger Shark!”

Hey, cool! Its the same thing writers use to argue Aquaman Strong Actually. I wonder if this actually predates that. It’d be funny if Tiger Shark preempted Aquaman in anything.

Wasp (while blasting Scorpion in his Scorpion neck) asks Thor if he’s okay but I think Thor is more annoyed than endangered by being ganged up on by the villains.

Thor: “Aye, the villain’s cowardly attack availed him naught against the might of Thor! I would see this battle ended!”

Tiger Shark basically says ‘nuh uh’ or “Together we can turn him into hamburger!” but then someone punches Tiger Shark from behind and knocks him out.

Scorpion: “Who in -- ? Some chick from Frederick’s of Hollywood?”

She-Hulk: “Don’t tell me you don’t know who I am! I don’t want to hear it!”

So, yeah, She-Hulk has arrived. In her underwear. So she doesn’t offend Wasp.

I guess after the Moondragon arc, Wasp is paying forward the wardrobe embarrassments.

Very rude, Jan.

Hawkeye is also up and raring to arrow. And he nails Whirlwind with said shock arrow annnd knocks him out.

Yup, this is the part of the book where we’re running out of pages so the villains start going down really easy.

Next, Wasp shoots Moonstone and She-Hulk multi-tasks by punching Moonstone into Scorpion and knocking both of them out.

Which means that She-Hulk is MVP of this fight. She arrives the latest but knocks out the most people. Good job, She-Hulk. Even Hawkeye admits that she did pretty good (qualified with “for a beginner!” which She-Hulk just laughs off.)

Meanwhile, in his hidden laboratory, Egghead is thinking that you can’t get good help these days.

Egghead: “Fools! We would have destroyed the Avengers eventually! There was no need to upset my timetable!”

But its only a minor setback and he considers that this stomp may leave them more willing to see that his ideas are best ideas.

I really hope that everyone pins the blame on Whirlwind when Egghead inevitably has to break them out of prison again to assemble his Masters of Evil again.

Hm, and I didn’t wonder this before but why Masters of Evil as a team name? He has no connection with any of the previous iterations, I don’t think. Weird.

Back at the mansion, the Avengers stand around being pretty pleased with themselves for beating up a bunch of people who attacked them for no reason and sucked at it.

The only sour note is that Wasp lost yet another limo (to Tiger Shark’s deadly CAR attack) but even then she says she was ready to trade it in on a DeLorean anyway.

Wait, aren’t DeLoreans known for having disappointing performance for a car and adequate performance as a time machine? Wasp, why are you getting a DeLorean, you kook!

She-Hulk, who sold her dignity to keep Jan’s friendship, suggests that the two of them go looking for new cars together.

OH RIGHT. Issue started with She-Hulk’s poor lamented pink Cadillac being junked. That’s bookends, it is. They’re the Sisterhood of the Broken Cars now.

So a very decent story!

Stuff is being setup with Egghead, the Hank Pym plot thread is still going, and we’ve got a new Avengers roster to settle into.

Although. Between the Moondragon arc and this, I’m wondering if clothing mishaps is going to be a running joke going forward and I hope not. Or at least let the guys in on it. Let Thor get locked out of the house in his underwear. It is only fair.

To the readers, if not the characters.

Although, I guess that is kind of what happened in the Molecule Man story. Tony Stark stuck in only his underwear and had to wear Ordinary Doctor Donald Blake’s jacket around his waist.

Not much more to say about this. Its a solid issue.

Follow @essential-avengers. Because: reasons. Also like and reblog. Because: similar but different reasons. Selling myself is hard.

#Avengers #Masters of Evil #Egghead #the Wasp #She Hulk #Hawkeye #Thor #essential avengers #Whirlwind is a creep #She Hulk's sweet new threads #f in chat for She Hulk's pink cadillac #She Hulk kisses hawkeye and its terrible for everyone #including you #essential marvel liveblogging

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fauvester · 5 years

Text

more modern au... the spirit moved me.....

This state ball really brought him back to the mid-recession crisis. There wasn’t anything like 1990 Chateau de Mere and political company in the East Parlor to turn his thoughts to the good old days, or the end of the bad old days, maybe, when he got to watch Van Buren’s economy tilt and rip itself apart like a badly balanced centrifuge. There were remnants of it all over the place if you had a keen eye for evaluating antiques, and he most certainly did.

Biddle blinked quickly in the dry air and looked over Maggie Bayard’s shoulder across the East Parlor entrance to where he last saw Thomas, circulating around with some of the First Husband’s old comrades. It was awfully funny, in an awful way, that they were letting the nullies into the White House after everything they’d done. John Calhoun got a grudging pass because he’d caught himself the leader of the free world, but that far and no further, by Biddle’s personal moral estimation.

Maggie looked back at him, her highball glass of seltzer hanging loosely from her fingers. “He had a teaching job back in Philadelphia, didn’t he?”

“Ah, you have a good memory, don’t you. Penn State. He’s on leave right now – I hope they let him stay off for another semester so he can stay down here. I guess I’ve gotten sort of fond of him. It’s very strange.”

“Husbands are like that, right? They just show up one day and hang around and you can’t get rid of them.”

“I know, who gives them the right.” They smiled. He took another sip of wine. Thomas was still out of sight, probably in the next room somewhere, where the muted music from the string quartet rolled out from. It was hardly an event that could be called a gala – he still remembered the parties of the Adams years, and even a few of the early Jackson affairs – but there were still enough people to lose someone in. He licked his lips. “So, who’d you think he’s going to pick for AG?”

“Oh, Stephens, definitely,” Maggie said quickly.

“Really!”

“That’s who he’s going to pick, at least. I don’t think he’ll accept. Between you and me, he’s a real brass-tacks lifer. It’ll be hard to get him out of the House.”

“Stephens, that’s the wiry little one with the overbite? Southern?”

“Georgia.” She drank. “An Old Fashioned Whig. Seersucker, confederate flags. He’s been in the House for, I think, two sessions? Needs some southerners in the administration, you know. Not even Mr. John can hide the fact that his cabinet’s too top-heavy.”

Biddle got the sense that Maggie had had this conversation many times before, but didn’t mind having it again. He’d had just gotten to DC that week to take his perfectly lovely new seat as the Secretary of the Treasury and had presently made up his mind to have as little to do with politics otherwise as possible, but the atmosphere made it hard to avoid it. Clay had taken office a month ago and Van Buren’s attorney general had retired shortly thereafter. Apparently he’d needed no strong urging – or if he did, the blackmail was handled masterfully. He suspected Corwin and Hayne. The two of them working together, well!

“He’s got the great gift of post-nuptual goodwill from the media, I think he can stuff his cabinet with whatever he wants. Stephens, I’m sure he’ll find a way to corner him into accepting. He’s good at cowing people with his superior… his..?”

“Who’s what?” Hayne interrupted, coming up behind the two of them to interrupt merrily. He was smiling boyishly and holding a salmon roulette in each hand.

“President Clay’s je ne sais qouis,” Biddle said, smiling back at him and rolling his wine glass in his hand.

“Is he all we ever talk about here? My god! Get some new material, darlings.”

“We’re in his house,” Maggie added. “Eating his canapés.”

Hayne wrinkled his nose in that charming little moue and ate them both in one go.

“Besides, compared to him, and you, Nick, we don’t lead very interesting lives,” she chuckled. “Empty nester here.”

“Speak for yourself. Besides, award-winning White House Press Secretary there,” Biddle added, and she smiled. At least some of them were still in the honeymoon phase of it all. He almost envied them their enjoyment of it. Some cruel new part of him hated them for it, too.

“Stop it, Nick, I have a husband to go back to,”

“Oh, he was asking where you were, by the way, your husband,” Hayne said, covering his mouth as he chewed. “Something about the German Minister? He’s in the State room last time I saw him.”

“Oh! Thanks, Roby. I’m going to go find him. Nice chatting with you,” She said as she brushed Hayne’s black-tie-tuxedo shoulder and gave Biddle a friendly nod.

“I’ll be seeing you soon,” he responded gamely as she left. The two of them watched her shoulder through the crowd with the soft but stern direction of someone used to wrangling junior reporters for a living.

“You scared her off.”

“I’ve seen enough of her for right now,” Hayne responded, rubbing his fingers clean of crumbs. “You know, you don’t just marry a person, you marry their family, and also their admin team, I swear to god. We’ve been butting shoulders with Clay’s folks for weeks.”

“Trouble in paradise. Young lovers...”

“Oh, /they’re/ fine. Biting each other’s heads off all the time. Sweet enough to give you cavities, ugh.” Hayne’s tone was tired but light.

“Where are they now?”

“Front parlor. Clay’s entertaining the Chinese ambassador with magic tricks.”

“Oh.” Biddle shuddered.

Hayne reached over and took his mostly-empty wine glass and finished it off, placing it back in Biddle’s hand. “Tastes like wine!” He exclaimed brightly.

“I despair of you, Roby. That was a good vintage.”

“Go get some more, hon, we’ve got plenty.”

“I might collect Mr. Cadwalader and head home, actually. We spent all day unpacking and I think I’m ready to hibernate.”

“Hah! Like you were doing any lifting.” Hayne responded, giving Biddle a once-over. Biddle sighed imperiously. Since he had the disposable income to hire movers he didn’t see anything wrong with doing so. Stimulating the economy. Besides, sorting through his books and paperwork /had/ been hard work, even though there wasn’t much actual legwork involved.

“Thomas couldn’t do much of that. His arm, of course, so I did most of the cleaning after the movers left. John - my brother John - and his kids are coming over this weekend to finish unpacking.”

“Housewarming party?”

“Naturally. If you’re nice to me, I’ll even invite you.”

“That’s a steep price. We’ll have to see.”

Biddle spotted a familiar flash of sandy grey hair across the room and took Roby’s elbow. Ooh, cashmere blend. “I’m off. Come over on Sunday dinner if Mr. and Mr. President don’t keep you, Thomas’s cooking.”

“He agreed to do Sunday dinner?”

“He will when I ask him,” Biddle responded, nodding across the room to his husband. “Bring your Thomas too and we’ll make a night of it.”

“Oh, alright. Send me an Outlook invite so I don’t forget.”

Roby waved his fingertips at him as he left. A few years ago he would have stayed for the whole party, luxuriated in the glamour of good company and food, but now? He looked up and around as he made his way to the other side of the parlor, to the wallpaper that was yellowed at the baseboard, the upholstery that was fading at the center, the whole subdued aura of the assembly, he felt a sick pain in the back of his throat. The lingering taste of wine, sour, on his palette. Four years, a whole incumbency, in the ignominious position of the most hated man in America.

I would take a thousand dinners with then-president Martin Van Buren, desperation leaking out from behind his polite façade, asking for help, to wash the taste form his mouth. Nothing could make up for those years he lost, he thought, suddenly fierce and angry at a world that was trying to buy him off with a quiet comeback story. He didn’t want vindication; he wanted nothing to have happened in the first place.

He met Thomas’ eyes as he brushed through two other cabinet ministers. He didn’t smile, he rarely did, but he gave Biddle a slow catlike blink. I know, he was saying. Me too.

He didn’t have to say anything, just looped his arm under Thomas’ good one and patted the crook of his elbow with a thin, ‘well, that’s it then,’ smile. Thomas looked up and out, past the stairwell where the sound of raucous conversation suggested the President was holding court, and then scanning over the crowd back to his husband with a nod of finality. That’s it, then. He squeezed Biddle’s hand against his side.

Together for a second, divorced from the warmth and excitement around them, and with the bittersweet air of pallbearers, the two left.

#modern au #dabs #G1 fauve is back with some nicholas biddle content

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