#eddie kaspbrak is one of my favorite characters ever tho so i get it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

willgayers · 6 years

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uhhhh i need a reddie as parents hc

oh my god yes!!!!!

planned together w @remushlupin again

its also long again. do i even need to say this anymore??? all my hc’s are long i cant write them short sue me

lets assume they have a boy and a girl (*cough* neil patrick harris & david burtka *cough*)

so ever since the kids first arrived at the shared household of tozier and kaspbrak,,, richie would not put the polaroid camera out of his hands

he’d be taking pictures of the kids CONSTANTLY in every situation ever. bath time? absolutely. messy spaghetti for lunch? you bet your ass. play time on the floor? DEFINITELY. eddie changing the diapers? even then.

“RICHIE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RN?”

“well what! we gotta memorize everything!”

“nOT EVERYTHING”

richie’s also constantly emailing the photos to the rest of the losers because he’s such a proud dad

“this is rhiana eating. this is rhiana outside playing in the leafs. this is rhiana taking a bath. this is rhiana sleeping. this is rhiana —”

“okay richie great pics!!” (please no more)

“thanks! now here’s liam watching tv. here’s liam with the neighbor dog. here’s liam in his favorite overalls isn’t he just so CUTE—”

so many shopping for baby clothes!!! beverly’s also bought so many like every time she sees a cute baby overall or something she buys it immediately

they basically have so many colors like all the colors of rainbow

(obviously)

once the kids get a little older like around 4-6 all they wanna do is watch disney movies!!! and eddie and richie are down with it of course

just imagine reddie + kids movie night???? all of them cuddled up on the couch??? with a bowl of popcorn??? under a blanket????

mulan is rhiana’s favorite and little mermaid is liam’s favorite

richie of course learns how to do the voices to all the funny disney characters, his best ones are sebastian and mushu though and the kids LOVE them!!!! they love them so much and it just drives richie to do the voices even more so eventually eddie has to forbid him from doing them around bedtime because the kids will never stop giggling and every time they giggle richie’s heart expands like a trillion times so he will just continue with the impressions and it’s a CYCLE

in case you were wondering, richie’s the stay at home dad. i repeat, richie’s the stay at home dad!!!!!

he definitely does the laundry and dishes wearing a baby blue apron

eddie’s working 9 to 5 as an accountant and he fucking hates the job

richie and the kids decide to cheer him up and call him facetime calls and eddie’s immediately feelin better :“)

also. whenever eddie has to work a long day he comes back home to a ready bubble bath,, a warm prepped meal and a glass of red wine

eddie knows it’s gonna happen every time he’s coming home late but somehow he always forgets? so whenever he comes home and opens the door to see the dim lighted kitchen with a candle on the table next to his foil-covered plate and the wine glass he nearly bursts out in tears

richie’s a very caring husband™

but not that great with dressing up the kids

*one night when richie’s taking liam to the movies*

“honey … what is liam wearing???”

“he’s wearing fashion.”

“is that a… baby hawaiian shirt???”

“LIAM RUN TO THE CAR!!!!!”

anyway,,, how cute would christmas times be too?? like baking gingerbread cookies all of them around the kitchen counter together while listening to christmas songs ,,, richie and eddie forgetting about the kids for a moment when richie accidentally gets some red sugar frosting on eddie’s nose and eddie’s like “omg what did you do!!!” and richie says “you’re rudolph now” and boops his nose,,, and eddie just swoons and oh WOW they’re in LOVE and some disgustingly cute heart eyes to each other are exchanged before richie leans to kiss him and the kids go “EWWWWWWWW!!!”

imagining this just added 10 years to my life

richie literally spoils them SO MUCH

*reddie shopping for christmas presents*

“richie what is that?”

“it’s the doll house rhiana asked for”

“uhh yes and it’s also 200 dollars”

“,,, it’s the DOLL HOUSE ,, RHIANA ASKED FOR”

richie would fetch them the moon from the sky if they asked for it

also imagine the christmas mornings ,,, richie and eddie on the couch snuggled next to each other with cups of coffee/tea,, with smiles on their faces watching as the kids open the presents and it’s literally just the photo of a perfect family on a snowy xmas morning

well lets fast forward a little again, the kids are like 8-10 now

rhiana has the prettiest dark, curly hair and her eyes are brown and beautiful

liam has light hair, it’s kind of like dirty blonde and he’s got blue eyes

rhiana has a lot of friends over all the time and eddie’s always making food and/or snacks and bringing them to the kids

liam has like three good friends and they’re also constantly over but they’re mainly inside liam’s room playing video games. (or secretly listening to britney spears)

rhiana does karate and liam plays soccer

richie always drives them to school and practices ,, eddie always picks them up

they’re definitely at every competition/game cheering

“THATS RIGHT! KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS RHIANNA!”

that’s not richie by the way. that’s eddie

and at liam’s soccer games they definitely have the big foam thumbs and self-made cheer sheets

whenever liam scores richie’s gonna tap the person next to him on the shoulder and be like “tHATS MY SON!!”

and that one time when liam did the winning score,,, oh my god eddie screamed and richie accidentally threw his nachos to the air

at one karate competition, rhiana got kicked a little too hard and she fell on top of her shoulder, dislocating it

eddie and richie had sort of an argument after this,, whether or not they’re gonna let rhiana continue

eddie doesn’t want his daughter anywhere NEAR the karate ring anymore and richie thinks that if rhiana wants to continue she should

however she doesn’t want to do it anymore and richie notices she’s super sad all the time, so he suggests a new hobby and rhiana is like “like what?”

richie’s like well how about i teach you how to play guitar!!

rhiana learns acoustic guitar in like a freaking week and she gets so excited about musical instruments so she learns how to play piano and fipple flute and ukulele and wow richie’s so proud

liam gets interested in instruments too now that he has to listen to his sister practice in her room 24/7 (because of course richie bought her her own piano too), so liam learns how to play the bass

“kids, i think we should start a garage band!”

eddie cutting in between with slightly nervous laughter

“i think NOT, richie!”

lord knows eddie couldnt take it

times of horror ahead at the age of 12-13

so many “I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU BOTH!!!!“s

…because they weren’t allowed to play video games after 11pm anymore or go to slovenia with their best friend’s family or buy the shoes that cost 150$

(even richie’s getting a little strict now because eddie keeps on telling him this is your fault you spoiled them too much and now they walk around thinking im gonna buy them a fucking 2000$ smartphone)

richie’s hurt because his imitation voices aren’t funny to the kids anymore, instead they say he’s stupid and childish

wait did i say richie’s hurt? i meant richie’s heartbroken

because his kids his babies his best friends don’t want him around anymore they push richie away and rhiana even told him to ”get a fucking life, dad!!!!“

they definitely won’t let richie take any photos to the "baby photo” books that turned into a little longer than expected

so one night eddie walks upstairs to find richie crying in the bedroom with his head in his hands

“honey what’s wrong???”

“they hate me”

“richie they adore you. they’re just teenagers it’ll go away you know it”

and it does go away thankfully,,, and at the age of 15-16 they’re almost back to normal again. but now they’re just so teenagers

richie’s the good cop and eddie’s the bad cop

one time liam comes home high

fun little fact; they’re looking after their neighbor susan’s cat for a week because she’s traveling and richie is stroking the cat on his lap as he speaks

(you know how bad guys turn around on the chair)

“well well well,,, look who decided to come home”

eddie has one leg thrown over the other and hands resting on top of his other knee with such a strict look on his face

liam goes pale as he turns around, his eyes are so red and he’s just. definitely not there

richie tilts his head

“are you… are you high?”

liam just looks at him before shaking his head slowly. like. way too slowly

“shit you got any left?”

eddie gasps and slaps richie’s arm who immediately then blurts out

“i MEAN— sHAME ON YOU, LIAM, THAT IS AWFUL AND THAT IS WRONG!”

later that night richie tries to get some sexy times but eddie’s still mad at him

“oh come on eddie it wasn’t that bad”

“yOU ASKeD yOUR SiXTEeN YEAR OLd SON IF HE HaD ANY WEED LEFt fOR yOU!!!!”

“…okay i guess it was a little bad but-”

next week rhiana wants to go to a party

surprisingly tho, richie won’t let her

she asks this over dinner and she on purpose asks this from richie directly because she’s sure he’s gonna say yes

“so dad there’s this party on friday and-”

“no.”

eddies eyes widen, rhianas jaw drops and liam raises his brows but he’s lowkey gloat that his sister gets told no for a chance

“what???”

“you heard me” richie just guides a piece of the steak to his mouth

“this steak is very good honey” he just speaks like he just didnt forbid something from his daughter

“thank… you”

“excuse me but why am i not getting to go to the party??????” rhiana is like uHhh WTF dad

“because i said so”

liam snorts

“OH MY GOD!!!”

“:)” richie

“but EVERYONE is going!!!!!”

“i don’t care you are not”

“LIAM WENT TO A PARTY LAST WEEKEND!!!”

“liam’s sixteen”

“I AM FIFTEEN”

“yes so wait one more year”

“!!!!UGH!!!”

liam decides to take advantage of this

“hey so uh, johnny invited me to this-”

“no.”

“???huh???”

“i said no”

“BUT YOU JUST SAID I COULD GO BECAUSE IM SIXTEEN”

“yes, and last weekend you got home high”

“BUT-”

“no buts. liam, you are… what do you call it…”

silence

“ah, right. grounded”

“GROUNDED???”

“really?” even eddie asks, confused

“YOU CANT GROUND ME A WEEK LATER, DAD”

“says who?”

liam is just gaping

“thats what i thought”

eddie’s lowkey turned on and needs to take a sip of some ice cold water in his glass

at the age of 17-18 liam starts dating some girl from his high school and both richie and eddie love her she’s a very sweet girl!!

she’s at the house constantly and now both eddie and richie realize that rhiana’s never once mentioned having a boyfriend?? and now they’re confused because she’s gorgeous and smart and funny and everything

richie thinks he’s such a scary dad that no guy would even dare to approach her

eddie just snorts and mumbles a "sure…”

one time eddie and rhiana are having some quality time together at the mall and eddie brings up the relationship subject even though him and richie agreed not to bring it up but hE CANT HELP IT

“so… any cute guys at your class?”

rhiana gets so pissed off and storms out of the restaurant and won’t talk to eddie for the rest of the day and eddies so confused like what did i do wrong??? honey i’m so sorry???? but rhiana won’t answer she just sulks for the whole car ride

when they get home she locks herself in the room and won’t come out and eddie has to tell richie that he asked her and richie’s like why would you do that and blah blah blah

anyway then richie goes up to knock on rhiana’s door

“GO AWAY!!!”

“it’s me”

silence

the door opens

rhiana’s eyes are all teary and her lower lip is shaking and richie’s heart drops at the sight

“,,,baby what’s wrong??”

rhiana bursts out in sobs and richie steps in to her room,,, pulling her to a hug and she just cries and cries

richie then asks again what’s wrong and suggests sitting down and talking about it

“i… the reason why i… haven’t… brought a boyfriend home is… because…”

“yes???” richie asks, his voice soft

rhiana sniffs

“honey you can tell me anything okay???”

“its because im gay, dad”

richie doesn’t say anything for a moment

it’s not because he’d be shocked but because why would his daughter feel awful about telling this to him??? to eddie?? her parents are gay,, she shouldn’t feel like this,,, but clearly something or someone has made her feel like it’s wrong and now richie feels so sad

“okay.” he just says

rhiana blinks

“o-okay?”

“okay. so you’re gay. lovely!”

rhiana lets out a stuffed-nose laugh

“really? that’s it?”

“well we can throw a parade if you want to”

rhiana just hugs richie and murmurs a “i love you dad”

she then gets the courage to tell eddie too and eddie tries not to cry because he’s actually so happy??? that his daughter is so brave to tell both him and richie ?? like he never would’ve had the guts and he never even did tell his mom he’s dating richie before they were 19 and richie pROPOSED but here his daughter is at the age of 17 ,,, and he tells her she should never be ashamed of herself and honestly the two of them have a long heart-to-heart conversation that really just,,, brings them so much closer than they ever were

liam,,, in his hetero relationship however…

“YOU BROUGHT A GIRL IN TO THIS HOUSE TO HAVE SEX????”

“eddie calm down. they’re eighteen-”

“SEX??? INSIDE THIS HOUSE??!!”

richie just ignores eddie and asks liam,,,

“just tell me you were at least using a condom?”

“yeah”

“a cONdOM??? YOU— oh MY GOD YOU KNOW WHAT A CONDOM IS!”

“baby isn’t that a good thing? the kids are being safe!”

“A CONDOM, RICHIE!!! SEX!! LIAM IS HAVING SEX!”

“okay can we PLEASE stop saying sex?!?!!,”

“THATS WHAT YOU’RE DOING! IF YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SAY IT YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE IT!!!!”

“oh come on babe we were like sixteen when we first-”

liam gags and eddie gasps

that was a long, long night and a conversation for all of them. also painful

for poor liam especially

anyway overall they’re just the greatest family ever

ikea shopping together

painting the kitchen walls together and eating chinese takeaway food on the floor

disney land trips

family vacations

movie nights

watching the ball drop from the tv at new years and shooting some fireworks from the backyard

(richie nearly set the house on fire once or twice tho)

when the kids were younger and it was date night and babysitters were needed…. losers club to the rescue!

stan and bill as godfathers,,, they always take the kids to museum tours or great restaurants

mike is their favorite because sheep,,, cows,,, chickens!!!! also he shows them pretty places and photos from when richie and eddie were teens which is funny because what the fuck is richie wearing and why does eddie have two fanny packs?????

ben and beverly always take them to cute ice cream shops or play board games with them

and when richie and eddie come back home/pick the kids up they’ve literally just missed them so much

PARENTS!REDDIE FOR LIFE

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#reddie #parents!reddie #it 2017 #it fanfiction #hcs

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