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gaiaxygang · 4 months

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but it still appears we’re both youths

chopperben, mainly ben pov. bunch of ben introspection. 1.4k+ words in 6 parts.

1. Chopper is beautiful.

It's a thought that comes to Ben occasionally, one he's afraid of. He's barely accepted his own attraction to men, and he doesn't want to think about what it means for him to feel butterflies in his stomach whenever his best friend speaks. Especially not when he'd turned said best friend down when he confessed his own not-so-platonic feelings.

Chopper is soft, gentler than the son of such a violent man should be. He's kind, the warmth that radiates from his fingertips near incomprehensible to someone like Ben, who only knows how to keep people at a distance.

Ben likes his protective side, too. It makes him feel special, almost, to see someone like Chopper jump into fights to defend him. Seeing how Chopper moves, precisely striking their classmates—not to hurt, but to defend—Ben has never been more certain that Chopper is one of the most beautiful men he's ever seen.

Ben doesn't want to admit these feelings. The walls have eyes, and not even a place like school is safe, not for these kinds of emotions to be expressed. Above all, he's scared because it's Chopper. Ben doesn't know how to deal with someone who can be so vulnerable, doesn't have it in him to be soft.

So until he's ready, he'll bury his feelings deep down, like he always does.

2. Chopper and Ben have nothing in common.

Ben loves music. It's what fills his heart, what keeps him going when he feels like there's no reason to continue. The warm tones of the piano and the varied sounds of the guitar have saved him more than once, easing the pain in his heart. It's why he took on the role of student council president despite his lack of interest, a compromise with his father in exchange for permission to study music.

Chopper knows nothing about music. His fingers were never agile enough to play an instrument, and music theory might as well be a foreign language to him. Instead, he prefers dealing with numbers and statistics. Ben never quite understood those, either. Their passions don't match at all, so conversations tend to run dry quickly.

(It was easier for Ben to connect with Nueng because they we're both, in their own ways, saved by music. They bonded fast over classical, discussing their favourite musicians alone in corners of the school. Ben was better at guitar than piano, though.)

3. They're both lonely.

Ben hates to admit that it was a sense of loneliness that drew him and Chopper to each other. He'd struck up a conversation with Chopper early in the year in 10th grade just to be polite, but soon realised Chopper didn't speak to anyone else other than his cousin.

Soon, small conversations turned to hours spent at each other's sides after school. They'd walk around, Chopper would follow Ben into instrument stores and Chopper would explain things like the stock market to Ben, with little success. Ben was careful to not let his hands linger too long on Chopper's shoulders, never to get too physically intimate lest their friendship be mistaken as something else.

There's always a hesitance when they part ways. Ben doesn't like spending time at home, never able to breathe quite right under his father's roof. Ever since he expressed his interest in music, he's felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells in his own house. His father doesn't like it, doesn't like that Ben loves something he deems as not masculine enough. So he tries his best not to step out of line and anger him, and there's no better way to do that than by not being home at all.

Ben soon finds out that Chopper shares his feelings about home. It's not exactly the same, but they're able to connect through it. They know that fear of their own guardians isn't supposed to be something they share, not something they should have to go through at all. Yet they're both glad they're not alone in it.

(Ben sometimes envies how Chopper is able to talk back to his father. Chopper only really hesitates when the safety of other people he loves is at risk, but he's brave enough to try and question his father's methods. It's something a coward like Ben cannot even dream of doing.)

4. Chopper is like a hero to him.

Chopper never leaves Ben's side. Ben isn't good at showing his care, doesn't know how to get closer to people. Despite how hard he knows he is to love, Chopper never leaves. He has so much love to give inside him, and doesn't mind if Ben barely reciprocates. He talks Ben through his bleaker moments, even if Ben can't do the same for him.

In a way, he's become like Ben's personal hero. Ben hates that he can't ever say the right words or do the right things when Chopper needs it, and can't understand why Chopper won't leave him behind. It's a truth so deeply ingrained in him, that he isn't suited for loving. The sky is blue, the sun rises from the East, and Ben will never truly be loved.

(It stung when Chopper started to keep his distance. Ben thought he'd made it clear that he wanted to stay friends, but when it comes to things like feelings, he's never certain if his thoughts are conveyed properly.)

Chopper sees Ben as the Sun. He's always shining bright and smiling, almost untouchable. He extends kindness to everyone he meets, and glows when he plays guitar or piano. It's no surprise that Chopper falls in love. Ben is everything he admires in human form, a bright light that never seems to go out. It's almost too good to be true.

When he gets closer to Ben, he realises that he's wrong. He's still correct in the sense that Ben is like the Sun, but he's wrong because Ben is like the Sun but only in ways Chopper didn't imagine. So much of Ben's warmth is a farce, a front he puts on in hopes of being accepted. Ben's words when he confesses scorch his heart and leave behind a burn scar, one that doesn't go away no matter how much ointment Chopper applies.

(He doesn't blame Ben for it. He'd figured out that Ben was bad with words a long time ago. Chopper only has himself to blame for flying so close to the sun.)

5. Chopper is vulnerable.

Ben first catches a glimpse of it in 10th grade, when Chopper's voice shakes as he talks about how his father is trying to pit him and Nueng against each other again, something he despises. He can only awkwardly pat Chopper on the shoulder in silence.

He sees it again when Chopper confesses to him, and another time much later when they argue in a school bathroom. The first time, he'd tried to talk to Chopper calmly. It wasn't quite right, and Chopper started to avoid looking at him at all. The second time, he's blinded by his anger and confusion and the urge to do something right for once, and he's the one staying away from Chopper instead.

Something that feels like guilt stirs inside him. It's an uncomfortable sensation, one that Ben opts to push down and pretend doesn't exist.

It only truly registers how fragile Chopper can be when he's crying into his arms, having shot his father, with Nueng's screams ringing in his ears as he cradles a bleeding Palm in his arms. Ben surveys the scene but knows he can't do anything other than hold Chopper tight.

Chopper isn't a hero, and Ben isn't the Sun. They're both still children, a pair of lost teenagers miraculously finding each other in the rain. It's a truth they both have to accept before they can start to love each other in earnest.

6. Ben is at peace.

They're in London, Ben studying music and Chopper studying finance. Ben had long decided on this, but an argument with his father solidified his decision. That afternoon, when he grips Chopper's hand and leans into him, he feels more human than he has in years.

Many awkward conversations were had. Apologies, explanations and confessions poured out, more from Chopper than Ben. It isn't easy, but Chopper hopes that one day it will be.

Adjusting to London after growing up in Thailand is hard. Chopper and Ben take it one step at a time, and Ben is glad that Chopper decided to come with him. He doesn't want to be alone.

For the first time in years, Ben is truly happy. He can study what he enjoys while living with the boy he loves, and without his father around, a weight has been lifted. It's almost too much at first, going from being unable to exist as himself to having the freedom to just live. But with Chopper, he thinks he'll be fine.

#gaiaxyposting #nlmg #chopperben #benchopper #gaiaxywrites #JUNE VS RANDOMLY PUMPING OUT A FIC AT 1AM

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plcapuche7 · 4 months

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31 December 2023

... And i talk to them.. And they talk about how they want '' him '' to be.. What to wear.. How to look like.. And i feel sad.. Cuz you took me the way i was.. I try to reorganise things in my head from 0 again.. Cuz i almost can't believe you're not here anymore.. I almost think you're here for couple of time.. I dont want another season.. You're my one and only reason

There was a time when i just wanted to live and focus on my goals When i wanted to not go back in time When my mind was consumed I just wanted you to stay Both staying.. Getting through life.. I made mistakes.. but i wanted us to meet

But i didnt know.. How rare it would be to be chosen and loved.. And to like back that person.. All that vibe.. I thought it will never be like my childhood times again.. That i'd get more chances.. But yeah.. Sometimes that becomes your normal.. You think it would last long

But we don't have to be like them.. we don't have to live by their rules.. When i'm down there with their shit, tell me whats wrong.. Tell me what bothers you.. Remind me of how far we made it in life.. Cuz i dont wanna be like them..

But what can a man like me really want? A good sunset and being able to see the sky.. An early morning train trip.. Not having to worry about someone staying or not.. Yes i want a blowjob.. By time, it'll become normal too.. Hopefully we dont keep chasing for more when few things get normal.. And when they do, it's ok cause i wanna relieve that and redo them with you.. Sharing these deep thoughts and passions.. We all are trash.. Mostly on the outside.. I hope you dig enough to find the real me.. And believe in it.. I broke your heart.. I thought about other girls too sometimes.. But i'd still talk about it.. I'd say i'm wrong.. I'm aware.. And i wanna change.. How can this artistic mind cause this much pain.. We talk about life like we know shit.. Once it gets confusing and we run out of answers, we just do whatever it is on our mind.. Maybe i wanted an answer.. Sth like what the hell are you doing?.. Are we gonna stay like this?..

But no matter how much i thought about them all things in life.. There was these mysterious pieces like people, love and relationships..... Love.. How would i know that love exists ?.. The love that i feel and hear in old Coldplay albums.. Only by tearing my heart apart.. How would i know who's right for me? Only by making mistakes.. Let the midday walks and sunshine dry your tears.. Dry the tears trying to not let them fall in your eyes while you're outside.. I loved your hometown.. Passing by in the car.. I loved everything about you.. I worried.. And holding that continous feeling of love.. It was tiring.. You gave up on it anyways..

But eachone of us does sth in this world.. Some just stay inside all daylong.. Some look for pussy.. Some are ok with staying in peace and dying.. Some prioritise their religion.. Some dedicate their lives to a thing or two.. Some want a car.. Money.. Shit.. Some just wanna have fun Some just wanna get high We dont really have to choose.. We don't have to define .. We dont have to be like them.. We get close to being like them sometimes..

Bodies are sick Look into my soul (if you want an answer)

Nobody gives a shit.. So why giving a fuck about their opinions? Only people who experienced that would know.. Some people wrote and felt love.. Others laughed at them or never truly knew the meaning behind.. If you take my soul and fit it, would it fit? it would.. Maybe thats the definition of a soulmate

We'll live talking shit.. They'd be like.. What happened with your ex? You'd be like.. He was like this and that.. I'm glad i am your ex somehow.. It feels like an honour.. Now you got a new boyfriend.. Do you miss me sometimes?

We first started talking on a hopeless 3 pm like this.. On a very sunny time.. While i'm alone in my room.. We shared music.. Everything welt welcomed..

-He was just 19 We vibed to everything -He's still a kid I built logic by my own.. I'd hear you, recognise my mistake and get down on the floor to kiss your feet and apologise cuz i really mean it.. Cuz you really mean to me -He wasn't responsible I wanted to be a graphic designer.. I wanted to exercise.. I wanted to make art.. I wanted to pass the year.. I had to deal with money, food, rent, family shit, past issues.. -He stopped talking I was suffering -He lost interest We had infinite interests.. It felt timeless -He was dumb I was dumb -He went to talk to other girls Yes i did.. I had a feeling i was wrong.. Later i said i was wrong -He didnt express his love much Thats how he is.. But he tries.. You're his everything.. And thats not easy to manage..

Lets just get out of there and be humble.. Say things like '' for real.... For real..... ''... Expressing how we truly feel and think.. Reexperience our love again.. Lets not do anything else until we get the connection back from our souls.. Until they give us an answer... ... -Do you love me? -Yes i do baby ...

I'm an old soul.. At that age.. I just didnt know much more than the good sunrises.. Old coldplay albums and the long talking sessions with myself.. How that was our moment and chance.. Cuz it gets taugh by time..

You remind me of my grandma.. Cuz i simply loved her.. Even though i didnt know why.. She'd be proud if i had you I love your hometown.. It's cause i love you.. I might end up loving everyone related to you.. Everyone you like.. cause i like you Forget? I tried to, i swear.. My cousin told me our family members aren't good with emotional things.. It felt so random that i think he knew.... Maybe the solution is la haine.. THAT WASN'T ME.. THAT WASN'T ME.. It was just me dealing with this world.. But i'm aware.. Like i told you 350 days ago.. I'm sober.. For this.. I died a little inside.. I stubbed myself and died too many times this year.. Alive? Not really.. What kept me alive is that hope that i had in us going back to talking..

17:23 Wow now i realised this time is leaving I got no happy new year or anything I got the feeling that i should be like a '' gangster ''.. I got the feeling that she's whispering to me.. '' yeah this is what you get ''.. And to be honest, i diserve it.. We diserve it.. Cheers to them.. They spend it however they spend it.. I just chill in my room.. I made some small design about her..

I realised these kids are tiring to date man.. It's not gonna get anywhere that way..

It's ok.. I get up everyday.. If i didnt dream about her last night, I'd think of her and think she's still here for couple of seconds until i realise she's not.. The place changed.. In your heart.. And mind..and physically.. Lets talk about the past.. Lets relieve the moments.. Lets get back to where we used to be.. 2023.. I'm still in the same place.. No one is here to share the moment..

This new year's eve.. I wrote too much.. Even though i dont feel like talking to anyone or feeling good.. I feel sad.. Also empty and free in a way.. Cuz i know deep down i diserve it.. Somehow this sadness is all i wanted in a way.. This wouldn't feel special if things were good between eachothers.. Funny.. Right? It would feel special though if i go with the flow.. I think less.. And just share the moment with you limitlessly.. Damn.. Ithas been 11 months at least tryin'..

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flovverworks · 4 months

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"Ah?" Isaac was startled ever so slightly by Akira's presence next to him. He wonders if they were just there to make sure he was okay - Isaac could almost imagine the conversation of the captain wanting to go out and find him instead, only for Akira to pipe up as "leader of their group". Of course, the wizards weren't too at fault. No one was. Isaac was merely listening as everyone ate together in the dining hall, talking about the differences between their two worlds. The landscape, political climates, the monsters, the bad guys...The moon. Talking about it always made him lose his appetite. But he wasn't drawn into the conversation, no. Even in moments where he was fine to talk over things like that - strategy meetings, days he felt well enough to not feel haunted afterwards, remembering with someone who knew - everyone who knew knew it wasn't the easiest topic. The moon was it's own can of worms for everyone nowadays, but for Isaac...he chided himself. He was too sensitive to it, he supposed. At least, that's what he said to brush it off, and flee to his room for some alone time. Get his hands dirty with the latest tech in his lap, rather than the gruesome horror and encasement of yesteryear. He wasn't drawn into the conversation, no. But it had gone on too long for his comfort. It's only when someone eating near him asked if he was okay - finally noticing how quick yet pained his breathing had become, then feeling the tense muscles on his face and thinking of how terrible he must've looked - that he admitted his loss of appetite as a means of escape. Even with how fascinating it was that both of their moons were such a large threat, yet in different ways...It wasn't actually. Not to him. Not anymore. But Akira had come to find him. And, even in his stupor mixed with his usual awkwardness, he can't help but stand to greet them properly. "S-Sorry, I hadn't realized I left my door open." He puts down all of his tools in a hurry, scrambling as Diantha's shiny microphone threatens to roll off several times over, before sighing. "Ah, where you curious about this? It's not mine, I swear." He tries to laugh at his dumb joke, clutching the open mic to his chest. But Isaac knows people like this don't just brush things off. (hi what if i gave you Sad Man)

"...You don't like karaoke?" it's an earnest attempt to ease into the conversation, light-hearted and gentle and not changing the heavy air in the slightest. How could it when the concern was so visible on their face? The Great Catastrophe was a sensitive topic in the wizards' world, and although a recognized threat the responsibility weighed heavy on those shoulders. So, when a deadly threat becomes a secret, how big of a burden did it become? (They had a guess, from that night when the humans in the castle fell asleep.)

"Um, I'm sorry for interrupting your work..." they fidget, gaze slowly tracing the tools and objects he had been working on, 'Heathcliff would like projects like this', they think and decide to bring it up to him later. A pain in their chest. It was Heath who had asked them to save his teacher with tears in his eyes, wishing to not lose anyone else. Had Isaac lost someone too? …No, even if he hadn't...of what little they had heard, their trip to the moon sounded terrifying. Something like a movie—robots synched with their partners on earth, supernatural powers and experimentation—one they wished wasn't real.

How strange it was to hear of other worlds' terrors related to their moons. Not once had they considered that anywhere else would share such an experience (but they also hadn't considered they'd end up in another world again either...). In some ways, they still struggled to understand it.

"I just wanted to apologize for our...insensitivity", maybe things would have been a bit different had someone like Rutile or Mitile also been there, empathic and gentle, rather than Murr who passionately confessed his love to the moon. Or, maybe, they would both stand here like this regardless. "I should've been more aware of the people around us. I'm sorry."

#shiningstages #SHAKES U.#(akira voice) does he even know what karaoke is...................<-person whos fully aware the wizards does Not #augh isaac................................gwynne..................................................#stay moon rly. it. it sure was a thing that happened huh #THANK U AGAIN FOR THIS ?!?!!?!?!?! IM STILL?!?!?!?!?! SO?!?!?! isaac.......................................#(akira voice) if i had a dollar for each time i met ppl who fought the moon id have 2 dollars. which aint a lot but its weird that it happe

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livewithherpes · 5 months

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First herpes outbreak female: What to Expect

Discovering that you have genital herpes can be an emotionally charged experience, particularly when faced with the uncertainties of a first outbreak.

Lots of women are looking for other women's stories, and haven't been able to find much.

In the following experience of a real woman, we aim to shed light on the intricacies of the first outbreak of genital herpes in women, providing valuable insights into what to expect and how to navigate this challenging period.

Here's my long, long story, so far: I recently started seeing a new partner. We fell hard and fast for each other and had unprotected sex the first night we hung out. I know it was stupid, and we talked afterward about how we should've used protection. Since then it's been amazing - passionate sex, all the feelings. He's great. Six days ago (Monday) I woke up with a fever, aches and pains, smelly discharge, and what felt like menstrual cramping. I assumed I had a bruised cervix (my new partner is large, and we were having issues with him hitting my cervix during sex) or a yeast infection. I used Monistat. The symptoms persisted, so I made an appointment with my gynecologist. Yesterday I had my appointment. As soon as my doctor looked at me in the stirrups, she knew it was herpes. I had small lesions that I was unable to see on the farther end of the opening to my vagina. She ran every test she could think of, but she told me she was almost certain it was herpes. Aside from the lesions, I also have the telltale signs of an initial herpes outbreak: fever, swollen lymph nodes between my legs, and aches and pains. She prescribed me a 10-day run of Valtrex. I'm still waiting to get all the lab tests back. I immediately called my partner, and judging from his response, he had no idea. He gets tested regularly and has never gotten positive for Herpes Simplex Virus 2 (genital herpes). He's also never shown any signs of herpes or had an outbreak, aside from cold sores in his mouth (Herpes Simplex Virus 1). I definitely got herpes from him - the timeline is solid. He's been incredible - wants to learn everything he can, and wants to be there for me through this. I'm actually surprised at how well I'm taking everything. Don't get me wrong, it sucks, but I'm still wading my way through information and coming to grips with what this might mean for me going forward. In 24 hours I've done extensive research on herpes, and here are some things I've learned: Herpes is extremely common, but most people with herpes never show symptoms (have an outbreak of lesions), and therefore don't know they have it Herpes is not typically part of an STD screening Herpes Simplex 1 (oral herpes, cold sores, etc) can be spread to your partner's genitals and result in an outbreak, even though it's uncommon Condoms are not a guarantee you won't spread herpes - skin-to-skin contact and oral sex can also spread it. Some people have an initial outbreak and never experience one again. And some people experience multiple outbreaks multiple times a year. It all depends on your immune system and the strain of herpes you have. You're most likely to spread herpes to your partner during an outbreak. Many couples have unprotected sex when there is no outbreak, and never end up infecting their partner. The initial outbreak is the worst you'll experience, and thank god, cause these fuckers hurt. I'm most nervous about how often I'll have outbreaks in the future. If anyone here has any experience they'd be willing to share, I'd be extremely grateful. There's nothing like hearing from other women to make you feel less alone!

Here is another real story.

I have Genital HSV1. I contracted it almost 5 years ago now through the classic 'oral from someone who didn't have a visible outbreak' method. The first outbreak sucked but thankfully I had a close friend who had been through the same thing before to guide me. I haven't had an outbreak since and I don't take Valtrex so I consider myself very lucky. I think it is awesome that you're so open about your diagnosis and willing to post about it. It took me a long time to 'own' my diagnosis. Proud of you!

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beetsandskzreads · 3 years

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silent bright summer night

bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)

genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending

notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying

scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.

It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...

The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.

The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.

And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.

- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.

- What about you? - he asked

- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.

- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?

- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.

- What about that someone right now?

Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.

- What about 'em?

- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?

- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.

- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?

- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?

- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.

- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.

- Huh? No, why w-

- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.

Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.

- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.

- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.

"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.

- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.

- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.

- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.

- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.

-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.

How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?

- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.

- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.

Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.

You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.

- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.

- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.

Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.

Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.

They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.

#skz fluff #chan fluff #bang chan scenarios #bang chan oneshot #bang chan imagine #bang chan fluff #stray kids oneshot #stray kids fluff #bang chan angst #chan angst #skz oneshots #skz angst

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kur0m1bab3 · 3 years

Text

A Bittersweet Miracle

BokutoxBlackFem!reader

3rd person POV

Cw:Angst fluff, slightly mature, mentions of pregnancy, college!Au

Unedited

"Well what does it say?" Akaashi asked curiously craning his neck a bit to try to glance at the plastic stick set in y/n's hand.

Y/n looked away biting her lip as she blindly handed him the pregnancy test.

"Two lines means positive right?" The older male asked as y/n stayed silent nodding her head as she kept her gaze fixated on the brown wooden floors of her kitchen.

A soft smile graced Akaashis face as he walked over to y/n leaning down a bit.he poked her cheek lightly as she puffed her cheeks out, desperately trying To keep her gaze on the ground only for her to crack a small smile at Akaashi's constant poking.

"There she is" Akaashi smiled pulling y/n into a warm embrace. Y/n sighed into the hug as Akaashi pulled away.

"I'm gonna be a god father" Akaashi said happily as y/n laughed.

"Mhmn you are" she smiled.

Akaashi pulled away from y/n as he looked at her for a while as he lifted an eyebrow.

"You don't seem too happy?" Akaashi said as y/n shook her head.

"I am...m'not sure how I'm really supposed to react though..I mean I cried when I found out I was so happy.......but my kid is going to grow up fatherless so I'm kinda ya know...out of it" y/n spoke truthfully as Akaashi nodded.

"You going to tell him?" Akaashi asked as he began to grab pot and pans from the cabinets, probably about to make a celebratory meal for the mother to be and the others planning to come over.

"Don't know. Part of me wants to the other part of me doesn't" y/n said sitting on the island stool as Akaashi hummed looking at her.

"Y/n you guys were together for more than a year and a half...not to mention you guys lived together for most of your college career.....He deserves to know" Akaashi spoke out as y/n bit her lip looking down.

"I know...but,we broke up for a reason" y/n said as Akaashi clicked his tongue looking at the younger girl.

"You mean you broke up with him" Akaashi said putting an emphasis on you as y/n waved Akaashi off.

"It was mutual" y/n said rubbing her stomach softly smiling. Akaashi put down the wooden spoon he had been holding as he walked over to the island y/n was sitting at.

He leaned on the island as he looked at y/n intently.

"Bokuto never wanted to break up it wasn't mutual" Akaashi said sternly as y/n bit her lip looking away.

Kotaro Bokuto. The love of y/n's life that just so happened to be her ex. The pair had know each other for years, their history together going back all the way to middle school. They had always been attracted to each other, no doubt about it.

The cute smiles they gave each other during gym, or the extra chocolates teddy bears they'd give one another on Valentine's Day, the way y/n would wear his jersey to games, it was honestly all too obvious.

Once their 3rd year hit, their attraction to each other grew almost unbearable leading to the faithful Halloween night the two hooked up in the closet of their friends kuroos house.

Wasn't the ideal place considering the two teens got caught by a group of 5 pestering boys from differing schools, they just So happen to call friends, just as they reached their climaxes. The two never being able to live down the embarrassing ordeal and a rule set in place by the one and only tetsuro kuroo,stating that the pair had to be no closer than 8 feet away from each other in his house.

Clearly that rule was broken a few times, but what doesn't kill kuroo will only make him..make him...who knows honestly.Besides the point by some miraculous twisted miracle the close knit friend group ended up going to the same college together.

Their living arrangements was an interesting one. Of course all of the boys wanted y/n to live with them, they were all like a horde of bodyguards, it could be quite annoying at times having a group of guys tell an adult woman to go put on sweats in 100 degree heat instead of wearing shorts,but that's what you get when you surround yourself with a bunch of guys who were like brothers.

None of the boys wanted y/n to live alone, especially with a roommate. They hated the idea of her spending all of her time with someone she barley knew(mainly oikawa). Which is how they came up with the idea of pairing Bokuto and y/n to live together.

Was it the best idea to pair up two people who had clear sexual history and extreme feelings for each other? Maybe not. Did it happen? Of course it did considering who the boys were and how they wanted to play match maker.

The living arrangement lead to some interesting encounters. Eventually the two finally got together. It wasn't easy considering y/n was very stubborn and Bokuto was just too shy(ironic right?) to admit his feelings towards the younger girl.

Their personalities were an interesting pair.

Y/n was more on the introverted side, never really showed her emotions and kept to herself for the most part. Sarcasm was a second language to her, there was never a moment she didn't have someone rolling in laughter due to her quick wittedness or outright weird behavior.

Bokuto on the other hand was quite different. A clear extrovert who never failed to brighten up the room. His bright character was always a joy to be around, never quite knowing what he'd say or do leaving a kind of mysterious and almost mischievous aura about himself.Much like y/n he kept his emotions to himself and hid how he really felt, which proved catastrophic or their relationship.

The two loved each other so much it was kind of sickening to be around. The constant loving stares of sneaky kisses caused the other to normally cringe or throw pillows at the pair telling them to get a room. But much like the great sonatas of masterminds like Beethoven or Mozart, the beautiful pairs relationship,had a grand crescendo and a beautifully haunting decrescendo.

They were just bad at relationships. Mainly due to the lack of emotions between the two, and by that I mean the hiding of emotions. Their communication skills were way off, neither one of them knowing how to confront the other when they seemed to be at rock bottom which caused a huge rift in their relationship.

"Bokuto we need to stop seeing each other....we b-broke up a month a-ago"y/n whimper out softly as Bokuto continued to place light kisses along her neck.

Bokuto squeezed her waist tightly pushing her deeper into the wall as he pulled away from her neck meeting her eyes.

His eyes were glossed over, lust and sadness swimming through the cesspools of his golden irises as he breathed heavily.

A frown sat on his face as he shook his head, his slightly fallen hair tickling y/n's forehead. Y/n always thought his hair suited him so well. He looked so wild and young it made her knees buckle a bit.

".....just...let me have this..." Bokuto whispered against y/n's lips. That's all it took for y/n to attack Bokutos lips earning a small moan of admiration from him as he swiftly picked her up bringing her into their once shared bedroom.

The room was dark causing y/n's vision to completely cancel out making her hyper aware of her surroundings. Bokuto gently placed her on the bed kissing her cheek softly.

Y/n scrunched her eyes in confusion as she felt tiny droplets of water hit her face. She gently wiped her face as she tried to figure out the source of the water.

The moonlight from the night sky shined brightly into the room, as y/n fixated her eyes on the male hovering above her.

Bokuto had his eyes closed tightly as tears ran down his face continuously. He held a pained expression on his face as he visibly began to shake, his breathing speeding up as he sobbed quietly causing y/n to freeze all her actions.

Bokuto opened his eyes looking down at the girl beneath him. She looked at bit concerned mouth slightly agape,but more so shocked as tears hit her face from above. The pained look on Bokutos face caused y/n to well up with tears as well as the pair stared at eachother tears rolling down their faces.

They couldn't tell you what it was that caused them to do this, but their lips collided once again as their tears and lips synched together in perfect harmony as clothes began to be discarded at an unholy speed.

Bokuto leaned up as he caresses y/n's face softly, tears rolling down both of their faces as he smiled weakly, knowing this would be the last time the two ever got to experience the touch of each other in such an intimate and close way.with that Bokuto began to cry harder as he looked down at the love of his life.

"I love you" he whispered as he silenced both his and y/n's sobs with a kiss that set the mood for the entirety of the night. Slow, passionate and heartbreaking.

That's faithful night was two months ago. Y/n only finding out about her sudden pregnancy a month after their encounter.

"....we needed to break up..what happened happened" y/n said shrugging as Akaashi sighed running a hand down his face.

"What happened is that you broke up with him because for whatever reason the two of you couldn't talk your feelings out like adults. And like a love sick little puppy Bokuto agreed because he'd do anything to make you happy.you guys broke up but continued to sleep around to try to fulfill the heavy feelings you two still obviously have for each other and now you're pregnant with your ex's kid" Akaashi said truthfully as y/n frowned.

"Jesus next time sugar coat it a bit will ya?"

Y/n said standing up going over to the pot that was currently on the stove boiling noodles.

Akaashi swiftly pushed y/n away as he looked at her.

"How long have you known ?" Akaashi asked as y/n leaned back onto the kitchen counter.

"A month..I didn't show symptoms right away, that is until I missed my period and started throwing up in the middle of the night." Y/n said as Akaashi looked at her then her stomach before placing a hand on her stomach gently.

"Are you now just starting to show?" Akaashi asked as y/n nodded lifting up her shirt a bit.

"You can barley tell it just looks like I'm bloated" y/n said making a face as the sound her front door suddenly opening caught the twos attention.

"Akaashi? Y/n?" A voice said as y/n peeked her head around the coroner. She smiled bright seeing kuroo and konoha at the door taking their shoes off.

"I'm the kitchen" y/n said as she hopped on the counter. Footsteps were heard as the two men appeared in the kitchen.

"I can never understand how your kitchen looks so clean all the time. It's like you never cook in here" konoha said as he made a face lifting up the top of the pot that the noodles were boiling in, only for him to get slapped in the head by Akaashi, earning a loud ouch from the younger male.

"It's called cleaning aki" y/n hummed as kuroo walked over to the group of adults.

"Akaashis cooking....so whats the occasion?" kuroo said propping an elbow up on the island looking at y/n as konoha nodded.

"Yeah last time Akaashi cooked was when he bought those ugly ass sugar gliders home from the pet store" konoha said making a face as Akaashi turned around kicking konoha in the shin causing y/n and kuroo to laugh.

"You not bout to sit here and disrespect them in my face. You better be glad we in y/n's house or else I would've kick yo ugly ass" Akaashi sneered as konoha flicked him off.

Y/n grabbed the pregnancy test from off the the counter as she held it up.

"I'm pregnant" y/n said smiling handing kuroo the test as both boys stared at the test wide eyed.

"Seriously?!" konoha shouted as y/n nodded. He quickly picked her up squeezing her tight as he hugged her.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" kuroo yelled grabbing y/n from konoha as he hugged her tight.

Y/n laughed as konoha hid his face in his hands as he began to cry.He tetsuro, atsumu and oikawa were all such cry babies . Y/n laughed a bit already knowing how overdramatic atsumu and oikawa would be once they found out about the pregnancy.

"I can't believe this" konoha said smiling widely as y/n laughed.

"Y'all are both so overdramatic" y/n laughed as kuroo began dancing around the apartment.

"Overdramatic?! That's my god child you're talking about!" kuroo scolded as he walked up to y/n hugging her once again.

konoha sniffed a bit as he looked at

y/n,realization hitting him like a truck as he stopped crying looking At y/n intently, before sighing a bit laying his head on y/n's shoulder.

"Y/n....it's Bokutos isn't it?" He asked wiping his tears as y/n sighed. A small smile on her face as she looked at the boys sadly.

"Yeah..it is.."

A/N: I hope y’all like this🧍🏾‍♀️FIRST TIME KINDA NERVOUS🤪

#anime x black!reader #haikyuu!! x black reader #black reader #haikyuu!! x poc! reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kur0m1.writes

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eryiss · 3 years

Text

Ship: Freed x Laxus [Fraxus]

Rating: Teen

Alternate Links: Fanfiction, Archive of our Own

Request: Something based off the official Rockband Raijinshuu art.

Summary: Being a rockstar, Laxus had to endure far too many chat shows. Usually he would grin and bear it, let the pointlessness of it roll off his back, but not this time. He was alone, forced to keep his budding relationship with Freed secret, and done with it. Fucking done with it all! But he had a way to fix it, and all it would take was a little courage.

Notes: This was a request by @fuckyeahfraxus. Just a warning, it has a bit of homophobia near the end, but nothing too vicious. I hope you enjoy it.

The Life Of A Song

Fuck chat shows. Fuck their hosts. Fuck their producers. Fuck their directors. Fuck their too-hot lighting, their stupid uncomfortable sofas, their tiny changing room's, their cramped green rooms with too many camera, their always cheering audiences and their utter lack of anything interesting or unique. Fuck the whole damn thing.

But Laxus' opinions on the matter weren't important. What did matter was that he smiled, laughed, told anecdotes and sat in a way that showed off his thighs and crotch just enough so that his Twitter stans - what a shitty word - made him trend once it was over.

Still, fuck chat shows.

This particular show, Late With Jase, was one of the worst. The host was young, overly enthusiastic, and his name was Jason rather than Jase which pissed Laxus off more than it should. He'd somehow dragged an audience of Netflix only watchers back to mainstream, with a mix of meme crap that Laxus cringed at, and celebrity gossip that would make a tabloid envious. But the ratings were skyrocketing, celebrities who went there usually got a boost in sales of their latest projects, and Laxus' manager had insisted he take his turn.

It would have been fine, were he not alone. If Ever, Bix and Freed were with him, they could take the responsibility and he could fade into the background. They had been a band for years, and that was how they always dealt with interviews. But they weren't there, because according to their management, Laxus was the moneymaker and all they needed.

"So Laxus," Jason turned in his chair to look at him. "Let's talk about Thunderstruck. What a success that's been? You must be thrilled.”

"It's doing well, yeah," Laxus nodded. He wanted to cringe at his words.

"It's doing more than well. You can hardly escape it," Jason laughed, and the crowd laughed with him. Laxus chuckled, even though he didn't find it funny. "But this is the first song that you've written, isn't it? And it's one of the most popular you've had. Must feel good."

"Well, it wasn't just me," Laxus swallowed slightly. "Everything we make is collaborative. Freed worked with the lyrics a lot, and Ever composed it."

"They're your bass player and electric guitar player, right?"

"I wouldn't call them mine," Laxus mumbled slightly.

There was a beat of awkward silence, and Laxus relished it just a little. Jason recovered quickly, which was annoying, and flashed a happy smile. Laxus would have preferred the man to stew in the uncomfortable silence, it would be a fitting response to him being dismissive of the band's contributions, but perhaps it was a childish way to think of things.

"Well we'll be hearing the song live at the end of the show," Jason continued, and Laxus' eyebrow twitched. The rest of the band were in the damn building and yet were being treated like shit. "But let's talk a bit about how you came to write it. Heavy rock and love songs have a troubled history, and you managed to make a hit out of it."

"Just lucky I guess," He shrugged. "Got good people around me too."

"Don't be so modest," Jason dismissed. Laxus wasn't being modest; luck was the dominant factor in successful music and without the band, Laxus would be fucked. "So, take us back. Where did the idea start."

"Well, hard to pinpoint I guess," Laxus murmured. "But, I suppose it was at the end of our last tour."

——

Performing live was indescribable. It was an assault on all his senses, in the very best way.

Everything was exhilarating. The feeling of vibrations on the stage, the cheers, roars and singing from the crowd, the sweat running down his back, the roar of his voice cutting through his throat as he sang. It all flowed through him, removing any sense of doubt or self consciousness he might have. On stage, before a stadium of fans, he was Laxus Fucking Dreyar. King, God and Dragon. Nothing was better.

They were on their last song of the set, a roaring anthem that the crowd could sing along to. It was thrilling to hear a song he'd worked on sung by thousands. Freed's words were being screamed at them, with the passion and love of their fan base. It was indescribable.

"We are The Thunder God's Tribe," Laxus yelled into the microphone as the instrumental began. The crowd roared in response.

Freed, Ever and Bix held the crowd's attention, and Laxus looked over the gathered mass of thousands. They were all there for them, because they loved them and wanted to experience them in person. A loud roar of appreciation cut through the stadium as Bickslow finished a drum solo that always brought the house down. How he managed to do that night after night while never screwing it up was beyond Laxus, but it was incredible.

Laxus sang the final verse, putting his whole heart into the performance. It was the last show of the tour, the last time they'd sing in front of a crowd like this for two years. He loved songwriting, but this was the best part of his work. The crowd, the music, the experience.

God he would miss this. This high. This buzz.

The lights died around them as the song ended, plunging them into darkness as the crowd roared their appreciation. The four of them could still see their fans as they cheered and yelled, and they took a few moments to appreciate it. He would miss this.

As they were taken from the stage, the adrenaline didn't waver. Laxus could run a marathon, deadlift any weight, swim any ocean in those moments. It was pure euphoria.

Evergreen trailed off to her dressing room first, scraping her nails down her bodyguard's chest before dragging him in with her. They were no longer pretending they were simply platonic anymore; Bickslow walking in on them must have removed any hope they could keep their relationship a secret. Good for them; Ever worked hard and deserved a big man to fill her bed.

Bix's groupies appeared out of nowhere, two men and a woman. They clung to the drummers bare chest instantly, and he cackled as he was dragged away for a night of depravity and booze. Laxus grinned; the party boy really had hit his stride this year.

Glancing at Freed, he saw the man looking equally amused.

A shared moment of eye contact sent a pulse of heat through Laxus. They stared at one another for a moment, and Laxus found his eyes crawling over Freed's shirtless torso without shame before he could stop it. Hard muscle and flexing abs were fully shown, and the heat in Laxus' face settled down lower. The rush of the performance was still running through him and he knew he wasn't in his right mind, but dammit Freed looked fucking hot in that moment. Tousled, sweating, shirtless; who could fucking resist that?

Laxus had always known Freed was hot. They spent hours upon hours together, it couldn't be missed. But he'd never thought too hard about it. You didn't fuck your badnmates. You didn't fuck your male bandmate.

And if he weren't coursing with adrenaline and dunk off of the cheers, he might have stopped.

With a stride, he surged forward and wrapped a hand around the back of Freed's neck. He pulled the man against him, pressing their lips together in a passionate, needy, energetic kiss. Freed dragged him back, pushing himself against the wall and taking Laxus with him. Hands were roaming over his chest, and Laxus groaned as they slid lower.

"Wait," Laxus whispered, pulling apart. A string of spit hung between them, and Laxus felt a twisted form of delight at it.

"What?" Freed asked, and his husky voice ran down Laxus' spine.

"We better take it inside," Laxus murmured, and Freed grinned.

They snuck into the nearest changing room, locking the door behind them. It was only in the next morning, when Laxus' mind was focused on something other than mindless, unadulterated pleasure, that he began writing a song. That he felt the need to write in a way that he'd never felt before.

Because kissing Freed was music. A high unmatched by anything else, and one that Laxus would find himself addicted to.

——

"And how did it come about?" Jason probed. "You've never written before. Did you find your muse?"

He had. But Jason didn't get to know it. Not that their manager would let it happen.

"Well, you know how bands work. You tour, make an album, then tour with the album," Laxus shrugged, reaching for his glass of water. "Your mind goes into production mode, I guess. You see things a little different, put a little creative spin on the things happening around you. Something struck me and I started writing," He laughed, awkward. "Not that interesting, really."

Not the fake story he'd been told to say, anyway.

The audience didn't seem to care about how crap the anecdote actually was, and applauded his words for some reason. Jason forced out a laugh, as if his statement had been a self-deprecating joke rather than a simple fact. What he'd been told to say wasn't interesting.

"Well, maybe you weren't struck by some divine intervention, but whatever happened it certainly worked out well," Jason continued, and the small screen beside him showed the album cover. Laxus hated the cover, it was just him. Not the four of them. It should be the four of them, or none of them at all. "It shot to the top of the charts and seems like it'll be there for a long time. That must feel good."

"It's incredible," Laxus agreed, and it was.

"So talk us through the writing process," Jason promoted, grinning. "I can't imagine you hunched over a desk night after night?"

"Well, the first draft only took a couple hours, really," Laxus confessed, blushing a little. The lights would cover it, but it was still embarrassing. "But me and Freed spent a couple nights together, and it became what you've been hearing."

——

"You always this tried?" Laxus chuckled, placing a takeout cup of coffee beside Freed.

The bassist blinked slowly up at Laxus, removing his face from its resting place against his arm. He glanced towards the coffee he'd been given with a thankful smile. Laxus smiled a little as Freed sat up straight, running a hand through his loose hair and letting it flow over his shoulders. He had bags under his eyes and a yawn split open his lips.

Laxus found himself slightly transfixed by the sight of Freed picking up the coffee, bringing it to his lips and drinking it in large gulps. His throat bobbed, pale skin stretching and chords tightening.

"Better to be tired that not focused," Freed smirked a little as he placed his coffee down.

"I think me looking at you is exactly the kinds focus we need," He grinned, and Freed chuckled.

The two of them were writing alone. After a fair amount of hesitation, Laxus had shown Freed the draft lyrics he'd written, and Freed had instantly presented ideas on how to fine tune it. He hadn't been patronising - nor had he teased Laxus about the fact he'd written a damn love song about him - and instead decided to encourage and help him make it a hit. They'd spent three subsequent nights in their studio, completely alone, and Laxus was loving it.

He'd never written a song before. Words weren't his forte, at least not the writing of them, and he much preferred to show passion through performance. But hours of Freed and him in the studio, bouncing ideas off each other, was thrilling.

Laxus suspected any time alone with Freed would be thrilling now.

Walking behind Freed to get to his own seat, Laxus leant down and pressed a soft kiss atop his head. Freed made a small sound and leant back against his chair to get closer to Laxus. He chuckled, ruffling Freed's hair slightly as he sat beside him.

"You made any progress?" Laxus asked, stretching slightly. He didn't miss Freed's eyes roaming over his chest. "What were you saying about being distracted."

"Until you wear looser fitting clothes, you don't get to talk about me being distracted," Freed smirked.

"Maybe I'd agree to that if I didn't know how uncomfortable those jeans you're wearing are," Laxus smirked. "Flatters the ass but crushes the balls, right? Regretting it yet?"

Freed didn't answer, but blushed a little and Laxus cackled.

They quickly fell into step, working on the song again. They were focusing on the second verse, which Laxus had dubbed the catalyst chapter. It had initially been a torrent of ways to describe how explosive his kiss with Freed had been - though names were vague enough for nobody to know that. With Freed's help, it had turned into a well written lyrical explanation to the first flushes of a romance. The burning passion, the fire between the two people, the erotic rush that could ignite from a simple glance. Watching Freed write, Laxus had to hope he was writing about his own feelings for Laxus.

He also had to stop himself from jumping the man, because Freed knew how to write a hot song. A really hot song…

Taking his espresso and gulping it down, Laxus looked away from his lover. Perhaps if Freed were anyone else - if he weren't a guy, or if he weren't in the band - Laxus might have given in and kissed him. He wanted to, but couldn't,

Once they'd been signed, te band had been given a long speech about how you couldn't screw your bandmate by their manager, how it could ruin things and screw up the dynamic. When Laxus had discovered he was bi, and wanted to come out as such, multiple crisis meetings were held. Not only had Laxus not been allowed to speak about his sexuality, with the risk of his contract being terminated immediate held over him, but he'd also been forced to stage pictures with a woman so he looked to be dating.

There had been backlash even then. His fans were vicious to the poor model, many seemed angry at him for supposedly betraying them by dating someone, it was fucking insane, and Laxus hadn't known hot to take it, but it had scared him off relationships for years.

So, he couldn't date. Definitely couldn't date bandmates. Certainly couldn't date men.

And knowing that, he'd still come back to Freed. Slept with him after their tour, then in the hotel later that night, they'd even fumbled about in the tour bus to the airport when everyone else was sleeping. They'd been in dates - or as close to dates two famous men could get - and a week prior had sat down and talked. They didn't care about the rules, because their budding romance was too damn good.

Never let it be said Laxus kept things comfortable for himself.

"Stop that," Freed scolded.

"Stop what?" Laxus asked, looking from the song and towards Freed.

"Torturing yourself," Freed explained, taking Laxus' hand and stroking it. "It'll do you know good. Certainly not when we're trying trying to write a ballad about the two of us."

"Sorry," Laxus hunched.

"Don't be, I think about it too," Freed admitted, leaning towards Laxus and against him. "But drowning in what ifs and self doubt is hardly going to make things better. We might as well enjoy what we have while it's still between the two of us, and deal with the fallout should it present itself.”

"You're right," Laxus nodded, blinking himself back into focus. "Not sure I can write tonight, though. Not in the mood."

"You don't want to write sonnets about how much you want me? Should I be offended?" Freed smirked, and Laxus laughed. "Or perhaps should I see it as a challenge to refocus your attention."

A hand ran down Laxus' inner thigh, and his breath hitched slightly. "Really?"

"Well, the song needs to be finished eventually," Freed hummed a little. "The sooner the better, I'd say. So getting your mind back on me seems the only thing that makes sense,"

"Really," Laxus tried to make his voice sound seductive, but Freed's wandering hand made him crack slightly. "H-how d'you think you'd do that."

"Well, let's say that in five minutes you find yourself in the instrument store down the hall," Freed mused aloud. "And let's say you find me already there, and I happen to be kneeling there waiting for you. Well, we can hardly be blamed if we find ourselves distracted."

Laxus swallowed. "Here? You sure?”

"There's no one around," Freed shrugged far too nonchalantly, and then grinned a devilishly handsome grin. "And I must admit, making you come undone in here has been a fantasy of mine," His hand squeezed Laxus thigh, before he stood up, and all flirtation was gone. "I should find a guitar, we can hardly write without practice. Perhaps I'll see you in there."

And then he was gone, walking away with his ass hugged perfectly in his jeans. All doubts about his future with Freed disappeared, replaced by the uncomfortable tightness in his boxers.

He found himself grinning, and a few minutes later he found himself in the instrument room, panting and moaning.

——

"It was pretty normal," Laxus continued, not looking to Jason. "We wrote, we practiced, we rewrote."

"Keeping your secrets close to your chest, I see," Jason laughed. "Now, speaking of secrets, the rumours have been flying on Twitter about who this is written about."

"I hadn't heard about that," Laxus tried to dismiss the statement.

"I'm sure you haven't," Jason nodded almost patronisingly, clearly not believing him. It was fair, Laxus supposed. #WhoIsThunderstruck did trend for a week. "But you have to admit, a virgin songwriter making something so powerful on their first try, and in a song so distant from anything else you've ever made, does seem to suggest maybe you've found someone to inspire you."

"I'm around a lot of talented people," Laxus shrugged. "They know how to make a hit."

He was squirming now, and not because of Jason. Their manager was seating in the front row of the live audience, and a quick glance his way showed Laxus a glare. This was a topic he had to avoid, because his fans needed to think the song was about them. It was patronising, Laxus thought, but they'd found success with their manager for a reason.

"So," Jason continued. "Have you found yourself a special lady?"

And then something ridiculous happened. Laxus found himself furious.

Such a simple statement, so innocuous and normal for Laxus' life, had opened the floodgates for Laxus. Because why had he assumed it would be a woman? Why had he assumed he could ask a question like that? Why was Laxus in a position where he couldn't answer something so simple when he really fucking wanted to?

Every ridiculous injustice seemed to swarm over him at once. How was it fair he had to parade himself on shows like this, on his own despite how his band deserved as much love and respect as he did? How was it fair that he'd known he wanted to be with a man for five years, and he'd never allowed himself to indulge before Freed? How was it fair that he'd been forced to endure meeting after meeting about how 'stupid' he was being for hooking up with Freed? How was it fair that he couldn't go out for a fucking pizza with his boyfriend without starting a ridiculous internet scandal? It was all so bullshit.

"Nah," Laxus answered, leaning back in his chair. The anger gave way to confidence; every interview he'd been on edge, but not any more. "Not a girl."

"So nobody's tamed the dragon slayer then?"

"Not a girl," Laxus repeated. "A guy. I'm bi, and for the last couple months I've been dating Freed," There was silence, and Laxus grinned and turned to Jason. "Bet you wished you'd gotten him on stage with me now, huh?"

"You're…" Jason seemed at a loss for words.

"Screwing the bassist, yeah," Laxus laughed, exhilaration flooding through him. "Inevitable really. I've known I liked guys for five years, and there's a load of fan pages who talk about how hot Freed is, so it was bound to happen," He grinned, running a hand through his hair.

This felt so good. Fuck, he didn't know how much he needed to do this.

"So," Jason tried to recover. "Well, erm, we have r to go to break now. Maybe we'll talk about that when we get back, I really don't know."

The moment the cameras cut, people began approaching Laxus. His manager, his PR team, and most importantly, his band. Ever and Bix attempted to run interference on their management team, but the angry man and his cronies pushed through them with fury on their faces. Still, Freed met him first, and wordlessly grabbed Laxus by the collar and brought their lips together. It was more passionate and desperate than any of their kisses had been.

"I'm so proud of you," Freed whispered. "And we are definitely talking about how you know those fan sites exist."

"Who d'you think made 'em," Laxus grinned, and Freed laughed.

Their small, shared moment ended when a throaty cough cut through them. Their manager was looming over them, and Laxus met them with a cruel grin, knowing it was too late: that was the problem with live TV.

"Problem?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What the hell were you thinking?" The manager snarled. "You just fucked all of us, do you understand that? How fucking selfish are you. You've ruined this album, you know that? You think your bandmates will forgive you?"

"Nothing to forgive," Bix said immediately.

"You're a dick for not letting him do it before," Evergreen agreed.

Their manager seemed to flounder for a moment, before narrowing his glare at Laxus again. "Do you think your fans will want to see that?" He growled again, voice getting louder now. "You think they'll still want you now they know that. Now they have to think about you being with… with him!" He motioned to Freed disparagingly. "They'll leave you. You've fucked yourselves, you know that."

Silence filled the soundstage, and their manager seethed. Laxus grinned, then looked past him towards the audience, half of whom had their phones pointed towards them.

"Since you're always talking about PR," Laxus smirked. "How d'you think you'll look once this hits Twitter?"

Their manager halted, then slowly turned. He turned sheet white, and it was brilliant.

"Oh, and in case you're worrying about your little threat to drop us if I came out, don't," Laxus smirked, though looked up to his band, who all nodded. "Yer fired, so fuck off."

#Fraxus #Freed Justine #laxus dreyar #freed x laxus #Fairy Tail #Fanfic #Writing #Request #One Shot #fuckyeahfraxus #Word Count 3.8k

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lizzybeth1986 · 4 years

Text

Sea of Love

Book: Perfect Match

Pairing: Heathcliff Young x Rosemary Park (Hayden x MC)

Rating: Slight M for hints and innuendos, but mostly PG.

Summary: It's been a year since Heathcliff and Rosemary got together, and Rosemary has something special planned...

Song Inspiration: Sea of Love by Phil Phillips and the Twilights.

A/N: Heathcliff's personality is Pioneer (Mysterious | Sweet | Humourous | Logical). The cake mentioned here is a chai cake with orange-cardamom frosting, inspired by this recipe. The picture in the moodboard is from the same site too.

(Faceclaims:

Heathcliff: Ephraim Sykes

Rosemary: Nikkita Chadha)

Note to self: must send extra thank you note to Steve. With handmade cookies.

In the last one year that they'd been together, Rosemary knew enough about Heathcliff's cooking prowess to leave him in a kitchen without fear of burning the whole house down (and if it was party rice you were craving that day, you'd be in for a treat). She also knew that - until a couple months ago - she couldn't say the same for his baking.

Heathcliff had really pulled out all the stops to make this anniversary dinner perfect. Creamy chicken flavoured with garlic, thyme and sundried tomatoes (was this the recipe Delish had dubbed the "Marry Me" Chicken? Rosemary's hand ghosted over the side pocket of her trousers), and white wine. How he'd managed to keep this a secret until she came home from work was anyone's guess.

That wasn't even the best part. He'd baked. In front of her was an amazing, homemade chai spiced cake, with orange-cardamom flavoured frosting. It looked like it had come straight out of Steve's gorgeous bakery.

Heathcliff knew how much Rosemary loved her homemade chai masala blend (he even made an effort to stop saying chai tea, after she'd glared at him the first few times). He knew cardamom was her go-to spice for sweets (and saffron if she really wanted to splurge), and she looked at orange peel the way Heathcliff looked at...well...any pizza that didn't have pineapples on top of it. This dessert was like every food dream she'd had since childhood, all condensed into one plate. And Heathcliff couldn't have done it without listening. And remembering. And learning how to make it.

And then acting like that was no big deal.

That wasn't even the best best part! That prize had to go to his attire. His clothes were the perfect blend of casual, classy and sexy - as usual - but the icing on top of the cake was his "Kiss the Cook" apron.

What was a girl to do but oblige?

"Come here, you," she said, pulling him to her by the apron, tracing a line down the column of his throat with her lips. He shivered at the contact...for the first 30 seconds. Then he squirmed, laughing.

"Stop that, Rosie," he whispered, all cinnamon spice and hushed laughter. "You know that tickles."

"I know," she whispered, smiling against his skin. He responded in kind, raining openmouthed kisses along her jawline and her collarbone, gently biting at the joint between her neck and shoulder. Rosemary's pulse began to race.

"Keep that up and we won't be leaving this house all week, Heath."

His throaty chuckle reverberated against her skin. "Well, you don't see me complaining."

"Oh, but I will," she said, running a finger over the skin below his neck, beneath his shirt...then let it drop and pulled away.

"But -"

"Enough surprises from you today," there was no mistaking the smirk on her face, as she pulled out an old silk scarf, "It's my turn now."

"When's this blindfold coming off?" Heathcliff could hear Rosemary's windchime laughter, feel her soft hands as she guided him through a familiar, grassy path.

"A few paces more, I promise," she said. He could feel softness of mud give way to the crunch of gravel beneath their feet - that was how he knew they were no longer at the park near their home.

It was funny how even though a year had passed, he could still smell the rain exactly the way it was when they first met. Could still see the awning that he pulled her into to keep dry. Could still hear the footsteps of that old lady in the park, gazing fondly at them, telling them she saw in their eyes the same fire she felt for the man she loved.

Heathcliff hoped the old lady was resting in front of a cozy fireplace now, content in that man's arms. That she was still happy, still in love, still believing in the magic of love at first sight. Because she could tell already what they wouldn't realize until much, much later. That this love was a love meant to last the test of time.

They suddenly stopped. Somewhere in the distance, Heathcliff could hear the gurgle of water.

"Alright," Rosie was speaking now, "You can take that off."

The soft gurgles were from the lake. The same lake he'd taken her to on their first date. In the moonlight it was ink-black and glittering, the air smelling of just-bloomed gardenias.

Most of Heathcliff's memories before that first date were a little dim, and he wasn't even certain that little factoid he'd told her about "knowing a guy" who could allow them to use the boats at night was even true. All he remembered was Sloane mentioning it somewhere on his first day, which taking notes.

It appeared Rosemary was intent on jogging his memory of that night, because right in front of him on that lake was a boat, edged with flowers.

She placed her long, slender arms around his waist, resting her cheek on his back. "Blue roses for your shyness. Jasmines because you still make me laugh when I feel low and Gladiolus for the rare moments you show me how you really feel. Gardenias because you're sweeter than sugar syrup in a gulab jamun -"

"Hey!" Heathcliff said, playfully punching Rosie on the arm. His face felt incredibly warm.

"What," Rosemary pouted, all feigned innocence, "You know I love gulab jamun."

Heathcliff said nothing in response, just grinned as he parted her lips softly with his own, savoring the lingering taste of cardamom and orange peel on her tongue. The kiss soon turned heated and passionate, their bodies pressed against each other and their hands everywhere. He was dimly aware they might be caught and almost didn't care.

Rosemary moaned against his mouth, then practically ripped herself from his embrace, fingers still playing with his curls.

"Heath," Rosie said, her voice still coming out in halting, shallow breaths, "no more making out until we leave the boat. There are ways I'd like to get wet but falling into a lake isn't one of them."

Heathcliff let out a shocked burst of laughter at the pun, then allowed her to guide him into the boat. She settled in his arms for a few minutes when they were comfortably seated, before eventually picking up oars on the opposite side. Heathcliff's eyes softened at the memory - she'd done the same back on their first date too, telling him she didn't want him to row alone.

They rowed in companionable silence, before he heard her mumble and hum a familiar tune.

Do you remember

When we met

That's the day

I knew you were my pet

Heathcliff grinned. "Don't let Dipper hear that."

Rosemary scoffed. "You're the literal worst."

"Remember that restaurant we went to?"

"Yeah...Jade, right? That Asian fusion place. Such overattentive staff. Like they were literally swooping down to fulfill your every demand."

He had to admit - and he was a normally patient man who liked giving people the benefit of the doubt - even he had gotten annoyed. "They shut down six months ago. Wonder how much of that had to do with Eros getting a complete overhaul. They got a ton of patronage from that place."

"Pity," Rosemary replied, uncharacteristically focused on her rowing, "the food was pretty good."

"I barely remember the meal," he said, gazing at her fondly, "The company was far, far better."

Rosemary blushed, allowing herself a small smile.

They settled back into comfortable silence again, punctuated by the sound of the water, and Rosemary's soft humming. She looks so unbelievably beautiful in the moonlight, almost exactly the way she did all those months ago, in her beautiful pink lace dress, eyeing him underneath those long lashes. Her mood was different tonight, though - he could see beads of perspiration on her forehead and above her upper lip, and she was chewing at the lower one in that way she did whenever she was nervous.

"You okay?" He asked her. This was her surprise, she knew he loved it...why was she still so tense?

"I'm fine. I'm fine," she said, voice almost coming out in a squeak.

It didn't help that he'd been nervous all day too (he just had a better time hiding it). He'd planned to sit her down and talk to her after the surprise dinner...except she had sprung a surprise of her own instead. He breathed in the heady scent of the flowers before he spoke again.

"Rosemary?"

"Hmm?"

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She laughed, her voice still shaking from nervousness. "Okay. But only once we get out of this boat. I have something to say and I don't want to say it with us toppling over and getting all sodding wet."

Heathcliff raised his eyebrows. "What's this thing that you can't say sitting down?"

Rosemary eyed the pier, gulping. "Well...looks like you won't have to wait too long to find out. But before we get out...before I say this...can you kiss me?"

He shifted closer and buried his hand in her hair, knowing the slow caress of his fingers on her scalp would always calmed her. Their lips melted into each other, tongues tangling and exploring and pressing insistently. He caught her bottom lip gently between his teeth, reveling in the noise she made at the back of her throat. Her eyes were unfocused, and her lips swollen and rosy when they were done...and it only made him want to kiss her again.

Even if this was the last kiss they shared...even if the thing he kept in his pocket came to nothing...even if she never wanted to see him again after this...he knew they would both at least cherish this.

They got off the boat, walked towards the park. Sat at the place where an old lady had sat once.

And then Rosemary did the unthinkable. She knelt down.

"Heathcliff Young," she began, then stopped, clearing her throat. He felt like he knew what was coming, and suddenly every part of him felt numb.

"Heathcliff Young. I've tried this speech fifteen different ways all through last week. All the things I've practiced saying come out sounding silly, or cliche, or just downright...not us. So I think I'll just say it straight.

"I barely remember what my life was like before you came into it. Before you entered my world, before you won me over with your humour and honesty and your patience, and...God, to live with me you truly need to have a whole lot of that last one."

They laughed together, and Heathcliff found his grip on her hand tightening.

"From the moment we met I couldn't see myself with anyone else, and now that we've faced the worst together and lived together and destroyed kitchens together...I don't think I ever can see myself with anyone else. I don't think I ever want to....oh Heathcliff, don't cry."

He let out a watery laugh, sniffing. "Happy tears. They're happy tears."

She giggled back, tears glistening in her own eyes, then took out a box from her pocket. He could feel his fingers tingling from the anticipation. She opened it to reveal a beautiful platinum ring, thick and firm, studded on the side with diamonds.

"Heathcliff Young," she whispered, still on her knees, "will you marry me?"

"Damn," he replied. She frowned. "you got there a lot faster than I was planning to."

Her face fell. "What...what do you mean?"

Oh...oh no. She thinks I'm saying no.

"Well...I've been carrying something with me too. All month, actually."

He took out a box from his own pocket, revealing a gem-studded platinum ring. The sapphire and tiny diamonds winked at her in the moonlight.

"Oh...oh my God." Rosemary took a step back, covering her mouth with both hands and half-laughing, half-crying with delighted disbelief. "Oh my God! You too?"

"Yep. Had a big sappy speech planned and everything," Heathcliff grinned and wiped away his tears. "Looks like you beat me to it, baby."

Rosemary let out a strangled laugh, throwing her arms around his shoulders. "I guess I should take that as a yes."

He snorted. "Yes."

She put his ring on him first, marvelling at the perfect fit (she'd tell him later that it had taken her all week to measure his ring finger without waking him up). He smiled as the ring he got her, found its rightful home ("same, Rosie," he'd reply, "same.")

Rosemary buried her head at the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Heathcliff tightened his arms around her. This wasn't how he was expecting their anniversary to go...but somehow she managed to make it far, far better than what he'd envisioned.

Then again, that was what Rosemary did with everything.

"Can't wait to return home with us wearing this," she said, admiring her ring, then added cheekily, "Wearing only this."

Heathcliff groaned. "Keep that up and it'll wind up happening right here on this park bench instead."

It was amazing that after all this time, after taking one of their biggest decisions as a couple, they were back to teasing the hell out of each other. He laced his fingers through hers, taking her hand and leading them home. He could see her smile every time his thumb brushed the ring on her finger, and his (deceptively mechanical) heart soared.

Note to self, Heathcliff thought as they walked home, must send Nadia an extra thank you note. Both for the ring suggestion AND for recommending chai cake.

Tagging:

@haydenyoungappreciationweek @sazanes

#haydenyoungappreciationweek #HYAW #HYAW Day 5 #content: fanfic #hayden young #hayden x mc #perfect match #heathcliff is a beautiful beautiful man and i felt he deserved his own fanfic #sage too #my fic with her and sloane is still incomplete 😭#hopefully should be out today fingers crossed

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