#for the day crowd i suppose

[sketchy-tour]

Oh I should share more of just little tidbits of myself here more. Show off my collections or give insights on the things I enjoy. I dunno, sometimes I forget I can blab about stuff on here!

Anyway! Yall wanna see the chatterphone I got for Wally??? Because it is the most delightful thing ever and having one fills me with such joy and whimsy!

LOOK AT THEM! A couple of sillies!!!! He was so MENACING in the box haha. Oh I always wanted one, especially after seeing his lovely acting skills in the movie Skinamarink!

Wanna gather items that remind me of Wally to put all together on the shelf with him along with any other official WH merch I get over time! Rearranged my whole shelf so Wally could have the top all to himself.

#a shrine area if you will #I was gonna give him an area by my vinyl record player #maybe some other day #but my shelf is close to my computer and I like having him close #he was on my bed for a while! its getting crowded with stuffies on my bed tho. he needed his own space #special guy #oh right but the chatterphone!!!!! #thats what this post is supposed to be about- #i love chatterphone!!! I didnt have one as a kid. at least not that I recall #i missed out on them #NOT ANYMORE!!!! #Now I have a beloved silly of my own #I love when he looks up. like hes watching me curiously. so many thoughts behind those eyes and yet not a word to say #just rambling

[greentrickster]

Me going into this weekend: Well, it's time for the local anime convention, the one that I've been preparing for since December and worked super hard so I'd have lots of mage plushies in the store I sell them at downtown, all ready for excited anime fans to buy them!

This weekend: Protesters gridlock downtown on Saturday (aka, the Busy Day, aka the Profitable Day) because they can't handle the concept of a drag queen doing story time for kids at the library, someone escalates this to a very effective bomb threat that's fortunately fake but still forces local shops to close and the reading to be cancelled for the sake of safety, it pours rain, and is the coldest weekend we've had all month to boot. All the shops and the downtown farmer's market that brought in extra stock and produce in preparation for what is traditionally a very profitable weekend for local businesses due to exploring convention members are left in the lurch.

Me, now: (lying in my bed trying to console myself with humour) ...this did not go according to keikaku.*

*keikaku means plan

#my life #tw bomb #tw bomb mention #this weekend was supposed to hopefully net me the equivalent of a couple months of profit #instead two mages sold on Friday and I don't think anyone from con really went to the store the other two days #frustrated tears; I worked SO HARD to make sure there was plenty of stock for this weekend specifically #and extra sympathy for the farmers' market vendors who brought in extra food for the lunchtime crowd #which didn't come because cold wet weather + conservative protestors #also this wasn't some little phone-in bomb scare #a package was found at the library. a bomb squad with a dog was called in #the dog reacted to it in a 'we need to treat this as a threat' manner #and there was also a letter going 'yeah... this is ONE of the ones I've placed around downtown' #it was fortunately a fake out but it was still highly effective #and my parents got to learn all this after I was already downtown and there wasn't a good way to immediately retrieve me #it was Not a Good Day

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[hella1975]

it's interesting how when i read the words 'christmas break' i see time off uni to be with family in the holiday season but when my lecturers read it they see 'time to study for four in-person exams in january covering everything we've done in the semester'

#i just think that's interesting. like what does 'break' mean in their language. do they have christmas #furious about this if you cant tell #i have so. much. content to cover in 20 days and im working at the pub again #my first shift back is tonight and im lowkey bricking it #bc i know i always joke that im gonna have forgotten how to waitress but waitressing is like riding a bike #it's just that my place has lots of tiny specific things we HAVE to do on shift and i just KNOW ive forgotten it all #im gonna make so many mistakes this shift while i find my footing again which should be fine #but they hired SO MANY NEW PEOPLE when all the student crowd left for term time #and the people im on shift with this evening are either people i dont know or people i actively dislike #like only TWO GIRLS im friends with are working tonight this is the worst crowd to be shambolic with #they do not appreciate the shenanigans #so on top of all the shifts ive picked up im also supposed to be revising for exams in january #mind im the only course i know that have in person exams let alone FOUR OF THEM RIGHT AFTER XMAS #economics wants me dead i swear to god #me and the school of business are in a fistfight except im crying and bloody on the ground #hella goes to uni

[mejomonster]

Ridiculously depressed but I am running ragged (which is surely worsening the depression ToT) so like the idea of weekly therapy to further exhaust me and trigger the anxiety more doesn't sound super compatible

#rant #like. i havent eaten in 6 days im fucking miserable amd on edge. my gi issues are FUCKED right now #so i cant eat and im desperate To eat asap so i really hope my gi issues improve soon jesus fucking christ #anyway... on top of that which... homestly on its own is enough to destroy me emotilnally and exhaust me.... #i also am intensely deptessed a friend has like 5 crushes 4 dating options #i looked up advice today! oh no the spiral! i am considering paying money for a matchmaking service just so i can hate myself more i guess #when even that fails. i havent had a crush in 5 years either. i had like 3 crushes BUT they were married or aro #so i stopped my crush. so basically no crush on available for relationships peolle in half a decade. k feel broken #i looked up how to develop crushes today. google amd youtube apparently think its so rare to Not crush that theres no fucking advice #and then on top of it i have regular run of the mill anxiety. where i disassociate if im in public or around strangers. #which helps Me cope and i Feel great. as in not scared. but it means i dont talk well to strangers. #i try to. but i barely know what im saying and i dont see anyone i see them vaguely then block it out. and thats how i handle public. #and if i can manage to be present i need enough of a crowd i can hide. and if i see an attractive person i look away #cause i turn red and cant breathe. and im chicken i guess. so ur supposed to LOCK EYES with hot strangers and stare. but i need to PRACTICE #and then i also need to practice just. MAKING myself go places that make my anxiety shoot up horribly #and just sit and make myself stare at random peoplr and touch my skin and make myself endure being present. #then i have to do the same thing in public places i Like (which makes me more anxioud and in the past often resulted in panic attacks then #suicide attempts and self harm during said pamic attacks) so im not like super hype to endure that #and id rather endure it WHEN MY HEALTH IS SOLID ENOUGH I CAN EAT #because currently? me hungty? me in immense pain? even non anxiety inducing situatilns are shooting my stress level through the roof. #spilling coffee right now is making me feel like dying. just cayse im hungry and exhausted. i want to work up to 1. gi tract DIGESTING FOOD #PLEASE GOD SOON. 2. my back doesnt hurt so bad so i can STAND in public #3 stand in a nonthreatening public place like a bookstore or grocery store and stare at people #4 stand in nonthreatening place and stare at Hot people #5 attempt to enter a place in public i LIKE A LOT like a local hobby club. attempt for an hour if needed #call it a win if i make it to the doorway befote the panic attack hits. 6 attempt again at least standing IN FRONT of building 5 minutes #7 attempt again and maybr peak in and use bathroom so i can leave if im scared. 8 attempt again to enter building and maybe finally join #event i want to join. 8 attempt looking people in the eyes and remaining present at Location i like. #9 attempt looking pretty people In The Eye. 10 attempt saying hi i like your X #11 attempt conversation (if i got through all prior steps). which. this anxiety work could take 3-4 months minimum

[pekodayz]

why do I procrastinate. it is summer………

#i was supposed to wash my clothes 2 days ago… #i think im lazy rn. I need to combat this real soon or ill shutdown again #also txylor swhift is coming to my damn city so now it’s gonna be traffic mayhem hell. #this weekend #my friends want to go to pride fes but it’s gonna be so crowded bc of her….. #I hate crowds that r abysmal #it’s gonna be so bad. don’t underestimate a swi -ftie #idk….if i wanna go.

[crowcryptid]

Just found out that I will be stuck in atlanta for 7 hours waiting for my flight. bad.

#the consequences of buying the cheapest ticket available #I suppose the only good thing is that it’s in the middle of the night #so hopefully the airport won’t be really crowded?? #I can’t even bring my switch or a book or anything #cause we didn’t pay for luggage’s. all I’ll have is a backpack. #this is the most budget trip imaginable. #just renting a car and driving to various cities and checking the vibes #only a little nerve wracking to have 3 days to see a place and decide if you’re gonna move there. only. a little.

[badolmen]

Torn between god fucking bless and god fucking dammit

#ra speaks #personal #prof for my 10 AM has COVID so class is probably cancelled #aka I have wayyyy more time to work on my presentation for a) lab meeting and b) my other class today #HOWEVER…said prof is my advisor and he’s supposed to be going to a conference with all of us from the lab next week which he can’t do bc dug #which. y’know maybe it’s better if he’s not there maybe I’ll be less stressed but maybe I’ll be more stressed idk :( #gonna be attached to the postdocs hips the whole three days I need a Safe Person to follow around #a loud and crowded stressful environment full of well meaning and friendly people that are just Too Much for autism brain

[sera-wasnever]

I bring a kinda Marxist analysis vibe to the history seminar that public school boys don't really like

#my tutors do though <3 #ghost.personal #had to explain to one what I meant by bourgeois the other day lmao #we've all covered it in the obligatory historiography courses you were supposed to know what it meant 2 years ago god bless #i love the course I'm on now but it attracts such a different crowd to many of the ones i was on before

[orangetintedglasses]

You know what you should try and no one's suggested yet? I'd bet sex would be pretty interesting for you right now.

M!A: Only Human (1 Day Left)

✧ - "I-- I don't think-- it isn't like I can just--?!"

Annnd you have flustered him. Vash goes bright pink all the way up to his ears--

#vash responds;; #m!a: only human (2 days) #( spoilers he absolutely did think about that but only briefly ) #explicit;; #( i suppose! ) #curtains up ✧〗( ic ) #the faceless crowd ✧〗( anon ask )

[seraphim-soulmate]

kinda crazy how a guy will have chronic health problems and then get other health problems on top of that. you should get ONE thing and that's IT.

#personal #my right foot is starting to have a bunion and its potentially from my orthopedic insoles which i got for my knee problems #life is so fun and real for giving me that #the soonest appointment available for the exams I need is in april 🫠 #so i guess i can go to an orthopedic doctor before then who might just make me get another pair of insoles and its like giiiiirrrllllllll #so for now im just going without any insoles and hoping the problem will fix itself. it wont. but it could ! #i have to wear a stupid little toe thing to prevent more pain on the ever growing bump #and might soon get one of the little toe brace things in the hopes that it won't worsen #im 22 this problem is supposed to appear at 18 !!!! I was fine and now suddenly im not ???? #not to mention ive just had cold after cold for months on end now. brief days inbetween the colds where im not sick. #and the thing is that im masking in crowded places and keep washing my hands all the time #but i guess my inner circle is seeing more people and so if they catch anything im fucked

[softpastelqueer]

Okay, so Ted Nugent can openly and bluntly tell an entire crowd of MAGAts at a Trump rally that they need to “go berserk on the skulls” of those who oppose them and that they (the slim majority of Americans btw) need to be “stamped out”, and that’s somehow not inciting mass violence, mass murder, and terrorism???

#and the fact he said it the SAME day as a mass shooting white supremacist committed an anti black terrorism #these were the same people who cried at punch a Nazi day #but you’re openly telling an entire crowd to kill people? okay then #plus there were two mass shootings this week alone that was racially motivated #the anti black one in NY and the anti Asian one in TX #also most white people aren’t democratic voters so this was a racially coded message too #if you kill all of the supposed members of the groups listed you’re killing poc and queer whites and white liberals #leaving a mostly all white nation that’s rooted in Christofascism #trigger warning #tw #I’m tagging this because I don’t want to trigger or burn people out

[seagullcharmer]

gonna try and update breaking the chain before thursday but. augh. brain empty

#libra.txt #lean over the keyboard to type and suddenly pushing my melia x anyone besides shulk agenda #there is no need for that !!! #one day. i will help fuel the reyn/melia crowd #this fic is supposed to be abt shulk + the chain #but my alshiora agenda also keeps creeping in #[alvis standing behind me beating me over the head with his affection for shulk] #side note: why is there such division between the shalvis shippers and the shiora shippers? shulk has two hands #also sorry if anyone here ships melia/shulk. i just do not get it

[probayern]

.

#helppp does anyone have any advice for writing a toast #im supposed to give a toast at my friend's bridal shower on sunday #and i am SO stressed. literally what the fuck do i say #like. ahh. i can be funny BUT it's such an odd crowd to be funny for?? #it's like my friend's wealthy female family like..... hello #i'm gay and not rich my jokes will not land a;slkdgjasg #i mean i'm doing my best i've been thinking about it for days #but. i'm so stressed #bella things

[shamemp3]

covid really is making me insane 🧚‍♂️

#i cannot stay home for a whole day and yet i have to do this till saturday the screws in my brain are loose #and i was also supposed to get my paycheck today but i did not go to work so 😶 #LOSING IT!!! i am soooo bored it is insane i need to be around ppl and a big loud CROWD rn

[tardis--dreams]

Mcr is in 11 days. Don't expect me to be normal about anything

#I'm not implying any of you expect me to be normal ever #But like #I wish i could say that to people in real life because i just randomly want to start screeching #I'm still convinced something's gonna happen and it won't happen after all #Dear God can you imagine #I would die #Right there #Also hmt is in less than 2 weeks too #But i'm really not looking forward to that too much #Except for fob #As far as I'm concerned they're the first band #So if i don't feel like staying in the crowd for weezer and green day i can just leave and have a drink i suppose #But omg mcr in less than 2 weeks! #My emo self is coming through! #I want to dye my hair for some reason #I used to have them pink a few times a few years ago #Do you think I'm too old for that now? #(i'm not saying anyone is ever too old to dye their hair in fun colors #I'm just so self conscious and always feel like people will find me ridiculous for whatever reason) #shut up amy