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wandering-night19 · 1 year

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Lonestar Proud Thoughts and Feelings

Okay, so to start this off the two most important things to know are 1. I took my sister with me who has never seen an episode 2. I have crippling anxiety. I’m not being sarcastic or funny it can be truly debilitating at times. In fact it has me replaying everything that happened in a loop and not in a good way. But I left Saturday afternoon happy and having had an amazing time, so I keep reminding myself of that.

So this is going to be very long winded and I will put it beneath the cut along with every picture I took that day.

We were assigned to table 5 and at first it seemed like it was just going to be the two of us at the table, but we were later joined by four of the volunteers. I had no idea it was going to be so small and intimate, so I was immediately terrified because it would be impossible to be lost in a crowd of people.

They gave us the lineup for the day saying we’d start with autographs, then photos, then lunch, and after would be the Q&A. I swear to god it felt like an out of body experience when they came out. All day I couldn’t quite believe it was real.

Because we were at table 5 which was basically the volunteer table we went last for everything. Which was fine with me, I promise! I very literally could not let go of my sister the entire time. If I didn’t have a death grip on her sweater she was holding my hand. When we were called up for autographs there was no one at Rafa’s table and a line at Ronen’s, so we started with Rafa.

I was absolutely frozen. I couldn’t even say hi and I barely made eye contact. I just stared at the table. My sister did all the talking, which resulted in one of our favorite quotes from the day where she asked Rafa if he spoke Spanish. (I die a little every time I remember it.) Because there was a slight awkward silence while he read the poem my sister apologized for both her hand writing and any spelling errors as she doesn’t speak Spanish and was merely copying it down. He said there were no mistakes and commented on how beautiful it is before asking if it was for him. My sister explained I wanted it signed, he hesitated and said it was way too pretty to ruin with his autograph and then signed it anyway. We then had him sign a blank piece of cardstock because my plan is to turn it into a sticker for my hydroflask. He smiled and thanked us for coming and I feel like I smiled and nodded back, but who knows because my soul had left my body.

Both my sister and I were near death and automatically headed back to our table before she remembered we still needed Ronen’s signature and we had to turn around and get in the line for him. When my sister handed him the poem he asked if it was Italian and she said no it was Spanish. He asked if he was supposed to sign anywhere specific and she said no anywhere was fine. She explained it was my favorite poem and how I thought it fit TK’s and Carlos’ relationship. So then he yelled for Rafa to translate it. (I may have jumped when he yelled and he apologized.) Rafa said he would tell him about it later. He signed it and then my sister explained the sticker thing and he signed the other paper. Finally, we went back to the table. Me still not having said a single word. My hands were shaking so bad it was ridiculous.

There was then a small break while they set up for pictures. And then some very tense moments were we were told it would be a group photo with our whole group and not individual pictures. But the miscommunication was resolved and everyone was happy.

Again, my sister and I were last in line for pictures. I was terrified I was going to have to do it alone because no one else got pictures with two people. But then the husbands that were sitting at the table with us went together. This is the one regret my sister has. She really wishes she had made me do the photo on my own. I will be forever grateful that she didn’t because I would have blacked out.

I am not a hugger. I barely hug my own family. I also have this fear that famous people aren’t able to consent to hugging and feel obligated to hug fans whether they want to or not, which makes me want to not hug even more. There was a moment where Rafa started for a hug, but with my death grip on my sister it would have been a group hug, so he stopped. He read my t-shirt and it seemed like he opened his mouth to ask a question, but then my sister was pushing her way in and getting us into position for the picture.

Ronen accidentally pulled my hair because I don’t think he realized how long it was and he was super quick to apologize. The photographer took about a million photos. Like I was beginning to wonder when it was going to end. But then it was over and they were super sweet and thanked us (which still blows my mind) and we headed back to our table.

And while on the way back my sister whispered in my ear, “when would be a good time to tell you my hand accidentally brushed Rafael’s butt? Just let me know when.” I died. I think I was more embarrassed than she was.

Next was lunch and the Q&A. Everyone’s been over the Q&A, so I’ll just put up the pictures I took during it (and one snapchat.)

Then it was time for the meet and greet. Two of the volunteers sitting at our table left before the Q&A and did not go to the meet and greet. We ended up being a group of I believe four. We were definitely the smallest, quietest, most anxious group. I felt a little bad because they kept trying to get us to ask questions and there were lots of long silences. But I thought they were so kind and gentle with all of us. There was an older woman in the group that asked a lot of questions, so at least it wasn’t completely silent. But they made me cringe, but both Ronen and Rafa were so kind and answered them.

She asked about bringing back the bartender and having him be a guest at the wedding to cause some drama between TK and Carlos. Ronen said he didn’t think there would be much drama as TK wasn’t interested in the bartender at all. And Rafa stated that TK and Carlos were it for each other there would never be anyone that came in between them.

She then said the he could be the bartender at the wedding and that could be funny. Ronen said it could potentially be funny.

She then asked if Lou would be at the wedding. Rafa looked very confused for a minute and Ronen asked if she meant the lizard. She said she did. And they both said Lou had been set free and Rafa said he was probably busy making his own family and wouldn’t have time for the wedding. Ronen made the comment that he didn’t see any pets in TK and Carlos’ future.

There was one other question asked by the guy that asked the question during the Q&A about how to handle being so anxious for the characters. And I really, really wish I could remember it because Rafa answered it and was really sweet. The guy was sitting right next to Rafa and they had their own little conversation. And I know he was just as nervous and anxious as I was because his voice and hands were shaking whenever he spoke. But I also felt so proud that he did speak and ask his questions because I couldn’t. I was absolutely paralyzed. And i knew how hard it must have been for him.

Anyway, then it was time for pictures. Ronen was very much in charge of the whole meet and greet thing. He explained how it worked when we all got in the room and then he took charge during pictures and told us what wall had been designated as the selfie wall. Then as he and Rafa were walking towards it he said “and we’ll start right here” and touched my shoulder. I definitely blacked out.

So my sister and I got up. She had my phone and was going to take the selfie herself, but Rafa told her to give the phone to Ronen because he’s a professional selfie taker and my sister made a joke about her long arms, but that she didn’t have much selfie experience. He took a few pictures and then we were done.

When it was finally time to leave we had parked on the convention center side of the hotel when we had first arrived and had to make our way back over there. My sister was trying to tell me I had done a really good job and I had made it through the whole day without a panic attack and I could breathe now. AND I TRUSTED HER AND THEN WE RAN INTO RONEN IN THE PARKING LOT!

I for sure thought he was going to think we were crazy stalkers. But again he was just super nice and thanked us for coming and then saw our California plates and asked if we were from here. My sister said that she lived in Lakewood (it’s about 45 mins from Burbank), but that I had flown in. He told us to have a good day and then we got in our cars. There was the awkward follow through the parking lot with me screaming in the car at my sister that he was going to think we were following him, but thankfully we turned different directions when leaving the parking lot.

I just want to end by saying that even though right now I’m beating myself up because I wasn’t able to say a single word and I barely made any eye contact, not once did they ever make me feel bad for it. They didn’t try to force anything or say anything rude. They were just so patient and kind. So even though I have convinced myself that they probably think I’m an idiot and the most awkward turtle to have ever turtled, they were very, very nice about it. And I’m so glad I stepped outside of my comfort zone and decided to buy tickets and go. Maybe next time, if they do this again, I won’t be so awkward.

#911 lonestar #ronen rubinstein #rafael silva #tk strand #carlos reyes #meet and greet #this is all still so surreal #sorry for the length #i tend to ramble #my heart is literally beating so hard just remembering everything #sorry i'm so cringe #picture heavy

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tarlosislife · 11 months

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My top 5 Tarlos scenes :) I was tagged by @thisbuildinghasfeelings , thank you!! <3

I'm indecisive when it comes to.. literally anything, so this was a challenge, to say the least.

1. Proposal. THE proposal. 3x18, obviously. I'm 100% sure I'll never have a scene I'll love more than this one. I'm a pessimist and I didn't want to believe the people who said that this is gonna happen at the end of season 3 and I'm so glad I didn't cause in this way, this was a complete surprise for me. The best surprise ever. When TK said the words "Marry me." right after mentioning 'husband', I completely lost it. I've never cried that much before, during an episode. And those might have been the happiest tears of my life. :")

2. TK waking up in 3x04. Push. Listennnn. I-. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this scene. Season 3 started with a broken-up Tarlos and that made me so sad, so. This was the perfect way to cheer me up. With TK saying "breathe, breathe, breathe" and Carlos holding his boyfriend's face in his hands. It was simply perfect. The whole of Push is a masterpiece, mostly thanks to Rafa and his extraordinary acting. Wow. #push my beloved <3

3. 4x16. The soulmates-talk. Best scene in the whole of season 4, try to change my mind, you won't be able to. I love this more than I love the wedding and the vows, probably because at this point, everything was fine. Nobody realllly important was dying and there were two very happy fiancés (ok, they were both really scared but at least they could be happy with each other) with nothing but love in their hearts. I needed this, we needed this, they needed this, everyone needed this. The acting of both Ronen and Rafa was more than perfect and yeah. Not one scene of season 4 beats that. :')

Ugh, this is getting harder and harder.

4. "You're MY hot mess." 4x02. After the.. thing that happened in episode one of season 4, I reallly needed a scene like this. One where TK and Carlos were properly talking. And flirting. And kissing. It was necessary. And yes, I choose to ignore the stuff that happened right after this scene, cause..that didn't make me that happy, haha. Anyway, I love this one and I'll be forever fond of it.

I have so much more, I can't do this.

I could also say the beloved Police station, the "We make a pretty good team." scene, the fight at the fire station in 2x12 or the entirety of 3x13 and 4x12 but I won't cause when we talk about Tarlos, there is one main event that we should mention and that is obviously the wedding. So.

5. 4x18: THE wedding. I still can't believe we got to see Tarlos get married after all the horrendous stuff that went down in those last two episodes. I actively try to ignore and forget all the bad events that took place and concentrate on the fact that TK and Carlos are now husbands. They're going to be together forever and even though, I'm not entirely pleased about those episodes and I'm pretty sure I'll never watch 4x17 again..., the picture of my loves getting married will always make me happy. Especially because of those oh so beautiful and perfect vows that I'm so grateful for. :")

#911 lone star #tarlos

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