#formatting is fixed now. whew that's better lol

[kindkindling]

crying for help

fandom: the wayhaven chronicles

pairing: mason/nb detective (Billie Vale)

rating: T, swearing and vague mentions of sex

warnings: BOOK 3 DEMO SPOILERS.

words: ~2.6k

summary: The detective needs to work some things out, and Ava is there to help.

ao3

You up?

I am. Is something wrong, Detective?

If I come to the Warehouse, will you spar with me?

---

The detective came at Ava once more, but they had been at this for hours now and their fatigue was showing; she easily dodged the incoming blow and deftly swept her leg under theirs, tumbling them to the mat with a thump.

Ava watched solemnly as Billie lay still, their chest heaving, not having even broken a sweat herself.

Something was obviously wrong. Billie hadn't spoken a word since they began sparring — each attempt Ava made to figure out what the issue was had been rebuffed with a shake of their head and a silent prompt to make another move, exhaustion and determination equally evident in their narrowed eyes. After the third time, she gave up and resorted to critiquing their technique instead, correcting their form and motions.

Something was wrong, but there was only so much she could do about it if the detective was unwilling to share the details.

As Billie slowly pushed themself up on hands and knees, arms shaking and still chasing the breath they couldn't catch, Ava decided enough was enough.

"We'll stop here."

The detective, predictably, shook their head without looking up, even as their sweat dripped to the floor; but Ava's patience had worn thin. They were in no state to continue, and she suspected they knew it.

"Yes, we will," she growled. She marched to the bench and grabbed Billie's water; when she returned, they had at least moved to sit cross-legged, leaning back on their hands as they tried to breathe deep. She handed them the bottle and sat next to them, silently watching as they downed half of it in one go.

It was known amongst Unit Bravo that the detective would sometimes head to the station in the middle of the night to work, though what could possibly require that level of attention in this quiet little town was beyond Ava. Truthfully, she had initially been pleased enough to accept Billie's proposition — it was a simple task to adjust the patrol routes so that whoever was out could check to see where Billie was each night, but she would definitely prefer that they stay put, and there was nowhere safer for the detective than the Warehouse — but looking over them now, she would be hard pressed to say that sparring was the better option for them right now.

They looked worn, and not just from the training. Their short brown hair had grown shaggy and somewhat dull since the team started working with them, and the bags under their eyes were only becoming more prominent as time passed. Their body sagged like every burden that had been placed on them as of late was slowly sinking them into the earth with each step, yet they refused to set even one of them down.

Their dedication to their duty was admirable, but it was clearly taking its toll, and something needed to change.

Billie recapped the bottle when they finished and stared at the floor, steadfastly avoiding Ava's gaze. Finally, after a few moments of struggle, they managed to find their voice and gave a strained, raspy, "Thank you."

"Of course." Ava hesitated, then said, "Will you tell me now what is wrong?"

They let out a long sigh before shoving their glasses up into their hair and covering their face with their hands. "It's nothing, really. I just... My thoughts were a bit much to handle tonight. Usually I would go get some work done, but..."

"...It would be a poor idea given the current situation with the bounty?" Ava ventured. At Billie's nod, she continued. "I agree. There is no reason to put yourself in more danger than is necessary. Although," she leaned forward, "you must realize that wearing yourself ragged like this will not make you of much use come the morning."

"Heh," Billie huffed and fell backward, spreading their arms wide across the floor. "It'll be alright. This isn't far off from how I'd've felt if I'd stayed at the apartment, except I personally feel a bit more accomplished."

Ava frowned. "Can you not designate some of your duties to the other officers? You seem to have quite a lot on your plate, even without your responsibilities for the Agency."

"Not really," they hummed. "It's pretty much just me and Tina, and she's already got her fair share to deal with; there's nothing urgent enough to warrant pulling her from her own tasks. And it..." they seemed to stall out for a moment, chewing on the words, their narrow gaze turned to the ceiling. "If I didn't have the work to do, I would be stuck at the apartment, just spinning my wheels in the dark, worrying about this and that. So it's better this way, to be occupied."

Without giving her a chance to respond, Billie stood with a grunt and dusted off their clothes. "Anyway, thanks for your help tonight. I'll try not to bother you for it again," they said with a wry grin.

"Detective!" She barked. They flinched as they turned to leave, and Ava mentally cursed her tone as she rose to her feet. "My apologies, but you do realize you are not alone in any of this, don't you? You are a part of this team, and any one of us would aid you, should you ask."

Billie stared back at her incredulously, meeting her eyes for the first time this entire conversation, and Ava realized just how anxious they must have been to have asked to meet.

"What has you worried?" She asked softly.

They pressed their lips and folded their arms, shrinking into themself a bit, fingers tapping an aimless rhythm on their forearm as they seemed to consider answering. For a long moment, Ava thought they would lapse back into the silence that had taken them during their training, but they eventually sighed and spoke.

"There's a couple things," they chuckled humorlessly. "I know it was determined that... that Murphy isn't likely to come back any time soon. But that doesn't stop me from wondering about it when I hear my neighbors thumping around late at night, you know?"

Ava stepped forward to rest her hand firmly on Billie's shoulder. "The Agency is much better prepared now for any assaults from Murphy or supernaturals like him than they were before. And you have us watching over you as well; suffice to say, even should Murphy return, he will not succeed no matter what he may try."

"I know." They smiled, but it was stretched thin and tight, like they were close to cracking. "But unfortunately, knowing something isn't likely doesn't stop my feelings from going haywire."

"You are always welcome to stay here, if that would help," Ava offered. "You do have a room, after all. This space is as much yours as it is ours."

She felt Billie's shoulder tense under her hand at her words and heard their heartbeat stutter. Before she could make an inquiry, however, the words started pouring out of the detective like a waterfall.

"Ah, no, I think — I think I'll be alright, that won't be necessary, in fact I think it's getting to be pretty early, isn't it, gosh it really is, so I should probably head out actually, but, um, thanks again for all your help, I do appreciate it, genuinely —"

"Detective," Ava said, gently, and Billie's non-stop tirade puttered out like a hose shutting off, their gaze dropping to the floor.

"It's just, I — I don't think that's something I can do. For a while, not forever, just... just for now," they finished weakly.

Ava crossed her arms and considered this. "It would inarguably be safer for you to be here at night than at your apartment or the station. Are you sure?"

Billie drew back and their eyes met Ava's once more — any determination they had held before was gone now, and only the exhaustion remained. "It's for the best, I think."

Ava sighed. "I will not force it force it on you; our patrols should be sufficient regardless. But I cannot help but ask... have we done something to warrant your distrust?"

"Oh, no, no no no!" Billie exclaimed, their hands waving in the air almost comically. "Not at all! You're all terrific, no complaints here! It's — it's just, it's... me."

"It's you?" She cocked an eyebrow. "Even if you were not one of us, it is our job to protect you, Detective. Your blood puts us in no more danger —"

"Ugh, no, that's not what I mean," they groaned. Ava didn't think they could make themself any smaller, yet Billie somehow managed it. "It's... Can you promise not to tell the rest of the team about this? It's kind of personal."

"You have my word."

"I... I can't be around Mason right now," they mumbled.

"Mason?" Ava's eyes widened and narrowed in quick succession. "What did he do?"

"It's not what he did, it's more what I did... or what I made him think, I suppose, and now everything's changed, and I don't think I should be around him if I'm just going to keep on doing this..." Billie trailed off, hugging themself tightly.

"Start from the beginning, please."

They gave a deep sigh. "You remember when we left the Warehouse together the other day, right? When he escorted me to the station?" She nodded. "Well, we went to breakfast, and it was... nice. We had a — a moment, I guess you could say."

They turned their face away as if to hide their embarrassment, but it only made the flush on their ears more apparent; Ava might have found it humorous were the circumstances different, and she herself were not growing more uncomfortable with the direction of the story.

"But then Haley — you've met her, the baker at the square — she came over and said she didn't know I was... seeing anyone. Mason said that I — that I'm 'only seeing him naked. There's nothing else going on here.' And that was — it hurt, and I kind of... ran out on him."

Ava did her best to contain the longest suffering sigh that had ever threatened to escape her, and she thought she did a damn good job of it. Dealing with Mason's 'problems' had always been near the top of the list of Things She Has Been Forced to Deal With and Would Rather Delegate to Nat, but this was the first time that she could recall where the problem was not his callous nature, but his own brand of naivety.

She held up a hand as if to pause her own thoughts. "You made it sound as if this were your fault. How did you come to that conclusion?"

"It's because I'm a damn fool," they said, immediately and so full of conviction that Ava almost reeled. "I knew when we first started this that it didn't mean anything. That it was just fun, something to help keep my mind off how the world had turned upside down. And that was fine, I didn't want anything more, I didn't expect it, because I... I didn't let myself.

"I convinced myself at every turn that it was what I wanted, because it was what he wanted, and if I wanted something else, something... more, then we would have to stop, because that wouldn't be fair, not to either of us." Billie's eyes were gleaming as if they were fighting back tears, and Ava felt a pang in her heart at the sight. "And it looks like I did a good enough job, yeah? Because even if I didn't manage to stop myself from being an idiot, I've convinced Mason that I don't give a damn about him aside from his body. And that was the goal, wasn't it, to keep it as this casual thing?"

The tears won their fight and spilled over, but Billie kept on. "To hell with how he kept me from losing my mind when the Maa-alused attacked me in my apartment, right? And how he can keep me from spiraling further into a mess just by being in the same fucking room, that's a normal thing for a friend with benefits, isn't it? How I can look at him and just feel this, this resolve settle in my chest and straighten my spine, make me feel like I can do anything, just because this one person believes that I can?" They were yelling by the end, their hand over their heart, knees trembling, and Ava had to catch them as they collapsed from the exertion.

"I can't, Ava," they cried into her shirt, "I can't see him right now, I can't."

She held Billie close and let them wail, making small, calming noises as she tried to soothe them. It had been a long, long time since Ava had last done this for anyone, but it still seemed to do the trick; it took a while, but eventually their heaving breaths slowed and their cries turned to sniffles.

"Think you got it all out?" She asked.

Billie huffed as they withdrew from her grasp and straightened out their shirt. Their eyes were puffy and their cheeks ruddy, but their heartbeat was settling down. "Think so."

"Good. Are you willing to listen now?"

They nodded, wiping their eyes and moving their glasses back into place.

"You are right about one thing: you're a fool."

"Well, thanks for that, at least," they mumbled, their voice still raspy.

"Not for having these emotions, but for going through such convoluted leaps to convince yourself otherwise," Ava said. "Truly, it is dizzying trying to follow you."

That got a chuckle out of them, which she considered a success.

"And do you truly believe that Mason feels nothing for you in return?"

"I mean — I've thought, at times, that maybe..."

"I cannot speak for him, but I can say that, in all my years of knowing him and how he acts and how he treats those he engages with, I have never seen him treat any of them with the level of respect that he treats you."

Ava stood and held out a hand to help Billie up; as they stood next to her, she added, "And I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."

"Oh, Ava, please don't — please don't try to give me hope here, I don't think I can take it."

"That is not my intention," she said, using a hand to start pushing them toward the door. "I am merely giving you facts that you may not have been able to consider in all your astounding leaps of logic."

They gave Ava a small, genuine smile at the training room's entryway, their mood having finally lifted somewhat. "Thank you, Ava. Really."

"It is no issue," Ava said. "Now, go get your car ready."

"Huh?"

"You are in no state to drive yourself, so I will take you home. I would suggest calling in sick today, but of course that is up to your discretion."

"Oh no, Ava, you've done more than enough for me tonight, I can — "

"Go, Billie. I will be there momentarily."

Her tone left no room for discussion, so with a final resigned sigh, Billie conceded and walked off down the hallway. Ava watched until they turned the corner and took out their phone, dialing a number she knew by heart and speaking as soon as Nat picked up.

"Did you hear all of that?"

"I did, yes."

"You need to speak with Mason."

"I'm already on it."

#it's 2:30am take it away i'm done #i had a lot of Feelings so billie had to talk it out with someone who wasn't mason #fun fact: billie asked ava to spar bc they thought she wouldn't ask any questions and they could just bury it deep as always #JOKES ON YOU BUD #the wayhaven chronicles #twc #twc fic #twc a #ava du mortain #sea's OCs #twc spoilers #twc book 3 spoilers #book 3 demo spoilers #formatting is fixed now. whew that's better lol

[morgansyorkie]

Kan, may I ask how you feel about Carter being scratched the next two games, and AV’s comments on it (and Carter)? I swear I am not trying to start anything, I have genuine respect for AV and for your opinions. I’m just curious! But no pressure to answer if you’re not comfortable.

I’m completely fine with it, Moose has a good recorded playing up in Buffalo and with him being a veteran he needs these games to get him back to his normal self as well. You can’t take Buffalo lightly and we sadly found that out the hard way a few weeks ago in Philly (i was there, such a brutal win for sure). Also being an ice hockey myself I agree with AV, Carter needs to work on himself maybe not his physical play so much, but definitely getting out of his head and by doing that you go and train one on one and I think that’s what Carter needs right now is some one on one skating and training just to clear his head and better himself. Kim will work in special exercises to help see the puck better and how to move quickly with the play. He is a 22 year old guy who was thrown into a mess of a season a few seasons ago when we went through 8 different goalies and in my opinion was sort of rushed, he barely had any time to get used to the professional level with the Phantoms because the Flyers needed him because our goalie situation was disaster. He hasn’t played a complete full season yet in the NHL, his first season he was brought up half way and yes he was playing phenomenal last year bam Covid, so again never finished a full season and plus he had months off then he moved right into the bubble format of playoffs which again played amazing in. Now this season, again had months off, no pre season, one week of practice/training camp bam jump right into a 52 game season with many back to backs and unfortunate pauses because of Covid. People need to give the guy a break, let him focus on himself and his work. AV trusts Carter and Carter trusts AV. AV knows what he is doing, he has lead this team to success, he has been one of the best coaches that this team has had in a while. Everyone just loves to complain and bitch and want everything to be fixed like that. It’s called time and patience, everything with Carter and this team will be just fine, yeah this season might be wash we don’t know yet, but honestly I’m not worried and I have full trust in AV and obviously in Carter. Carter just needs that solid win under him and he will start believing in himself and getting back to the goalie that he truly is. One bad season isn’t going to ruin him or his career or the team, every top amazing goaltender goes through it. He just needs this time to focus on himself and get back into believing in himself, because he is his own worst critic and he can’t let that get to him right now.

Whew sorry for the long reply lol Get me started on a certain topic and I just don’t shut up lol

#kan speaks #ask and answer #anon ask #carter lb #in av we trust #come talk flyers hockey

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌

#💌.zade's mass response

[bananban-feature]

Seventeen: Hoshi

(It took me a while to write this because... I’m also not sure. There’s a lot of ideas here and there and my mind is all over the place. But here it goes.)

Hoshi appreciation time! I’m here to talk about another one of my biases in my bias group that I love so much, Seventeen. Hoshi is incredibly talented and creative, fun with an extremely loveable personality! Now, where do I start?

Talent

Dance - This talent is pretty obvious as he is the leader of the performance unit, which is equivalent to the team of the main dancers of the group. (Other Seventeen members who aren’t part of this unit are already really good dancers, so this unit is really something.)

Stage Presence and Energy - A big part of what I like about Hoshi’s performances is not simply his dance - it’s his energy and attitude. I especially like it when he performs with intensity, like his Fearless intro dance with the drums (GDA 2021). I remember watching a clip of their Ode To You in Manila concert on Youtube and seeing Hoshi  made me really wish I was there. (I only became a Carat after this, during quarantine.) It’s like he’s a ball of energy that hypes people up. 

His duality is INSANE. He knows how to use his facial expressions and charisma that would make you feel the intensity of the music and fall for him on stage. And yet irl he’s absolutely adorable.

Singing - With Hoshi being such a main dancer already, you wouldn’t think he would have good vocals, but Hoshi is actually a lead singer too! In fact, in Performance unit, he is the main vocals. He has a powerful voice!

Rap - Hoshi is the main rapper in their super fun sub-unit BooSeokSoon. (Sure, he’s not actually the best singer or rapper there is in all of kpop, but he really has the talent for it.) There are many songs only a few people can pull off but he does. His energy and attitude in “Just Do It” by BSS and “Bring It” is next level, and absolutely necessary for the song to be successful.

Songwriting - This hasn’t been much (you know, as much as Woozi), but Hoshi has also participated in writing some of their songs, and even composed some with the help of Bumzu/Woozi! He co-wroteThanks with Woozi and Bumzu.

In general, I just also love Hoshi’s confidence in his talents. He knows his strengths, he isn’t afraid to showcase all the good things he can do, and he recognizes when he performs well. Confident, but not bragging. He’s just so real and so passionate about performing.

Performance Unit Leader & Choreographer

I have a lot to say about this because the first thing that really struck me about Seventeen is the absolutely beautiful choreography and incredible synchronization. It is the reason why I really checked them out in the first place after seeing a video of them dancing to Don’t Wanna Cry in x2 speed.

Choreography - Hoshi co-choreographs the Seventeen performances with a choreographer hyung/noona, and also with the help of the performance team. (I am not disregarding the work of the pro choreographers, who in fact, did such an amazing job, but I’ve seen some people dismiss Hoshi’s contributions to these. Hoshi himself doesn’t brag about it, and ALWAYS mentions the choreographers that helped them.) There are a lot of records of him working on the choreo and formations, and there are interviews with Seventeen members, Hoshi himself, and even the choreographer hyungs that talk about his work. There’s a lot of hard work involved in this, especially when you have to think about 13 people’s positions in each scene. It just requires a lot of brain power! To add to that, Hoshi is incredibly creative! He is able to take inspiration from random objects (such as street lamps), and turn it into story-telling choreography (DWC example, skip to 1:32, this is an amazing video). I really love Seventeen's choreography, and I think they have one of the best choreographies in kpop! They are my all-time favorite in this area.

Leadership - (Obviously, they practice these dances also with the help of the choreographer hyungs too, but Hoshi really leads the whole group in terms of the performance.) Hoshi is strict and particular even with the tiniest details, angles and timing. I definitely think this is one of the biggest reasons why Seventeen is so good with their dance and are called Kings of Synchronization. Not only do they practice a lot, but I think they all really work hard because they’ve developed this sense of meticulousness in choreo that Hoshi imparted.

***Hoshi said himself that he’s a quick-tempered person. The members have actually shared their accounts of how Hoshi was as a performance leader - strict, not very patient, and has a tendency to say harsh words when they did not meet his expectations. (He’s the opposite of Minghao in Idol Producer. Normally, this impatient teaching style would get me pissed, but Hoshi as a teacher to Seventeen is different. Unlike the ordinary teacher-student relationship, Hoshi has a very close friendship with the members like family. Even when there are hurts and arguments during practice, they are able to talk about it, fix and overcome it.) It seems Hoshi has changed from this harshness though. And now the members are able to talk and laugh about it freely as memories from their earlier years.

Personality

Hoshi is so talented, but what really drew me into him was his outstanding personality. People who only look at Hoshi on stage might get shocked because Hoshi in real life is like a cute crazy hamster. (Oops, I meant “tiger”, horanghae!)

Hoshi is hilarious and adorable at the same time. It’s almost like a toddler in a grown man’s body. He says the silliest things and acts the silliest way! What makes him funny is not just because he tries hard to be funny by making jokes. He’s just naturally funny - the definition of chaotic comedy, major crackhead energy! His overhyping is hilarious. And his randomness will make you laugh. I love that he is unapologetically himself, accepting himself in all his weirdness. And no one can stop his tiger agenda.  🐯 🐯 🐯

Don’t Lie I & II are two of the first episodes I watched in Going Seventeen. I was so in love with Hoshi, especially after Don’t Lie II. He was so chaotic and crazy, but also very intelligent! It really was a successful game because of his incredible deduction (with the help of Seungkwan, of course). And my gosh, the way he copied Seungkwan (and even Vernon) in their 5th Anniversary is legendary! That’s both talent in comedy and talent in acting!

Despite being this comedian, he is often seen being very sweet to the rest of the members. Honestly, unless they are in the practice room or when he needs to protect the members, Hoshi is one of those who’s often like a fake maknae in the group because he’s so cute. (Okay, except Woozi always rejects his hugs. lol) He’s also sweet to the fans and interacts with them a lot.

Hoshi’s Visuals

He may not be an official visual but nowadays, I am really appreciating his looks. I’ve always found him cute (like a child-like cute). Even in his old videos as a rookie, he has a cute and fun visual. But he really has a face with nice proportions. Honestly, he’s growing more and more mature each day. And recently, I’m just loving his visuals so much as a handsome guy.

Like...look at this beauty?

///Update, March 2021: As I predicted, Hoshi has been showing his handsome boyfriend look more and more.

A better look of the last photo, whew:

*** update done ///

This post is waaaaaaay longer than I planned it to be. There’s just too many things to appreciate about Hoshi.

Anyway, here are random things I found you also might enjoy:

Article on Hoshi as a dancer/performer (The title is misleading, but this is actually a great compilation of amazing Hoshi and Seventeen dance things.) 

Reddit thread on Hoshi’s talents

IDK, random Hoshi YT compilations (1) and (2)

The Leader Line

I’ve written about my top biases right now: Woozi (previous post) and Hoshi, hard-working members for the team. In general, I really appreciate the leader line. At a young age, they led a group of teens to rise to the top of a very demanding industry. This is real life leadership with real life issues and pressures. They had a huge responsibility, it wasn’t playtime. (Great job to S.Coups, too, for being able to handle the crazy kids and keep them in order together. Imagine having to think about the individual issues of 13 people!)

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to talk more about them soon in my Seventeen members general appreciation post!

#kpop #Seventeen #kwon soonyoung #hoshi