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apollolovescheesecak · 4 months

Text

we aren’t speaking.

a good omens poem, through aziraphales pov.

my heart cries out for yesteryear, when you first tempted me at the gates of eden.

the aching melancholy and the absence of you both beg the same question. where did all the memories go?

caught in the forefront of my mind, enveloping me with wings of nostalgia, the same wings that sheltered me during that starstorm when i looked into your eyes, overflowing with joy the same way a glass overflows with water.

your eyes, your hips, your way of speaking, all the same yet so unique in the way you presented yourself to me. the very personification of sin itself, yet your body and words were more holy than god herself.

we traveled through the years, always pulled together in an ineffable sort of fashion. the way we followed each other was more faithful than the priest to the temple, each of us both the worshipper and the worshiped. our companionship ran deeper than the eyes you cast to me, as yellow and golden as the love we had.

the extreme of the blacks and whites of our mortality blend into a gray ocean of blurred lines, all good and evil mixed together to create the flaws and strengths of humanity incarnate. light and dark hues exist inside said ocean, but mellow and dulled. through your eyes, true evil and good do not exist, context the only value judging the grayscale, as impossible as it seemed to me at the time.

i see, now, the world is truly a menagerie of color and hue only to be compared to the fruits and fauna of the garden of eden, tragically and forevermore judged by colorblind eyes, our minds so inclined to point out the extremes instead of the subtle.

we never spoke about it, the simple truth of the fact we loved each other was a spirit, invisible and never quite enough proof to others that it existed, but nevertheless still hanging thick in the air.

the vastness of your affection and availability to me, and i to you, was more meaningful than any words alone. our avoidance of our true feelings was both the highest blessing, and the most torturous curse.

i wish i could tell you. i wish i could go back in time to tell you how much i need you, truly and deeply, the other half of me. my light cannot exist without your shadow, my sin cannot exist without your salvation. how i want to kiss you, not in an act of desperation and destruction, hoping it will bring you back to me, but in an act of kindness and mercy, knowing you are already there, willing to spend your last second by my side.

you are my best friend, my lover, a stranger and my enemy all at once. the words our relationship required to be described and understood, are hidden away from me, locked in a book in the tightest safe in my mind.

i’ve already forgiven you. i’ve forgiven most everyone i know. the only person that remains to be forgiven is myself. i can only hope that someday, you may forgive me.

but we aren’t speaking.

inspired by dreams i’ve had with these word in them, and the poems (mostly “do you remember”) of @ineffabildaddy. it’s been a while since i’ve written poetry so i hope you guys like it!

#poetry #trying something new hope y’all like it #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #kind of based on the “we aren’t speaking” comment #neil gaiman #text #angel #demon #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce #ineffable lovers #might add more to this

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jieyu · 3 years

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First Rehearsal in Ludwigs rehearsal room

Lennies hands vulgarly pass into moisture. [1] A considerable amount of ointment emit a fragrant odor [2] which he gently rubs with a scrupulous movement, with many fatty drops coming, especially from the cellular texture [3] of the ointment, for him to bathe his hands in. The ointment is made from kiki, a fruit that is sown in the fields [4]. The ointment is his eternal spirit. And that Eternal Spirit moulds forever, for his mortal child, images to remind him of the Infinite. [5] Applied in his hands, his hands transcend into a compound of silky tissue. In so far as the tongue communicates with others by speech, Lennies hands can now do so convincingly by the ointment, by its odor. [6] A ritualistic habitude, before he reaches to assertively stroke the first notes on this rather uncharacteristically bright Steinway and Sons. F sharp dominant chord. A fugue. Unfortunately, it is a Steinway with a coarse texture devoid of grace, charm, or rhythm. [7] That, he can bearably deal with. That, but Ludwig. The music theatre. For an exiled pope, the only theatre he could reserve. Ludwig. An island in the city. Embodiment of disentanglement. Distinct separation from his domain. Walls of the lonesome. Sonic isolation. What a horrendous space for rehearsing. Ludwig. For the proportions were what they should be, everything about it had been designed and calculated by a meticulous mind for purposes of maximum clarity in sound travel. [8] It is precisely the audible sound of voices and instruments in the reality of oscillating sound-waves [9] Ludwig fetishizes about. So, as Madrid was once placed in the mathematically absolute centre of Spain, so was the Steinway in Ludwigs rehearsal room. And the room, a room carefully crafted on the basis of simplex sigillum veri. [44] The interior, a reduction to white walls with soundproof wainscoting, brass strips (electrical conduits), suspended lighting fixtures and supercardioid microphones, mirrors, and two Thonet chairs. [5] From a logical point of view, the space could not be more reasonable. [10] The sound-waves have to reflect perpendicular to the precise walls if wished to be brilliant [11] and clear in articulation. Lenny plays an ornamented lower D ostinato that mushes into the first F sharp motive. A kind of protective coloration, he played. Though, it wasn’t really a color, but rather a colored sound, noise. [12] Ludwig is not made for noise. The brass strips echo particularly the higher frequencies of noise to remind the player of his inaccuracy in intonation. Brisk chrome. Stiff synthetic leather. Although adjustable in height, Ludwigs Thonet fights against Lennies bodily movement and the noise he creates whilst playing. Lenny fights against the idea of moving his vintage mahogany chair with cream colored leather upholstery, that gently screeches when he shifts his bodyweight in order to glide over the notes, from his very own rehearsal room to Ludwigs room. Lennys rehearsal room. A room he had made his own instantly after moving into Ludwig. Lennys room is carnal warmth, a coexistence where his Italian Marble and weathered woods feel at ease in its presence. [37] A textile skin. [22] With all the niches being plastered exuberance, decorated with painted stucco. [48] A room, a yearning for bronze relics, silver ceremonial objects and embroidery fabrics. Kermes minerals can be found next to the ointment flasks on the cupboard. Lennies spiritual alterants. [47] So unsurprisingly, Lenny naturally does not feel his usual drift in Ludwigs rehearsal room. For Lenny, noise is texture. Not for Ludwig. It is because Lennies pouring texture is not compatible with the onstage presence of Ludwig and the lack of bodies meant to incarnate it. [13] A pyramidal cascade of rubatos. The pyramidal cascade of Lennys very notably imprecise, however vivid rubatos entirely dissolve to accentuate the upward crescendo of four rocket like full scale accords. [7] And yet a syncretism of sensitivity keeps his accords from crystallizing into perfect solids. [8] Notable dissonance; before the eternal silence, the dominant chord! [14] Ludwigs turn. Ludwig dims the suspended lighting fixtures to 47% power. Ludwig now plays a dodecaphonical arpeggio generated by three oscillators, played at 120 BPM at 80dB.

One arpeggio appears, then another, then another, and so on, almost like the steady ticking of a metronome. [12] They are merely provided here to shape a certain pattern of expectations. [15] Algorithmic Selection. Autopoietic systems. [16] A well calculated process through lines of code, sequences of zeros and ones, links and repetitions, scans and databases. [41] The oscillators carefully select sine waves passing through the volume control hub, set to 40 ms of oscillation decay. Sound creation is synced between all four adjacent walls with each a perforated screen. [17] Unlike the soundproof wainscoting, these polymer screens refract the sound, so as the sound waves connect in the central focal point, after being equalized to a 110Hz lowpass, in order to bypass frequency interference between the generated oscillation and resonating objects in the rehearsal room, but Lenny. Neither the polymer screens nor the wainscoting calibrate towards bodily flesh. Disturbance of An otherwise absolute clarity of what is structural acoustic frame and what is not. [18] Disturbance of the calculated isomorphic partitioning and hexachordal combinations. There is no climax. The Arpeggios stop.

II.

Dress Rehearsal in the living room

F sharp mixolydian chord. Variation of a fugue. Reflection, luster, refraction, luminosity, darkness, color, softness, absorption, liquidity [19] Audible clarity of meta sound. The touch is inspired. [20] Lennys sound moves fuzzily this time - in this particular Ludwig, it moves in confused color, and the music was suddenly brassy, evil, haunting, flourishing in high crescendo [12], wild in gesture and motion. [21] Did the lower D ostinato already merge into the first F sharp motive? A reasonable uniformity of coloration. Variations in texture. [22] Texture as difficult and in some ways as secretive as the vision of potential history which it embodies. [20] Texture consonant with the onstage presence of Ludwig. [13] An alteration of Ludwig. Lenny had replaced about half of the soundproof wainscoting with his emerald marble panels. The heavy doors deliberately opened for the textures to delicately infuse each other through mutual reflections. The Steinway, now with some of Lennies Kermes minerals unmethodically placed on top of the piano’s cast iron frame, desires to move out of its perfect symmetrical positioning, so that accidental interference can start to enrich the sound. The brass strips of Ludwig, he had replaced with velvety felt, fixated with a considerable amount of organic rubber. Rubber so soft and sticky. [43] The Thonet, however, grew on him. The Thonet vibrates. Ludwig vibrates, the space quivers in every corner. [22]. Lenny notices the absence of the lowpass. As he reaches for the low A sharp diminished trill, it is as all the metallic doorhandles and railings start to respond. A change of timbre. A gentle resonance. Augmenting Interference. The screens do not refract absolute clarity. Spiritual reverberation. So much so, that the imperishability of Ludwig can be momentarily questioned. A pyramidal cascade of crescending rubatos decrescent in eclipsing emotion yet intent. Lenny reminisces of Antonio Gherardi, his companion, another special devotee of the conservatory he was sent to every summer by mother Mary. Gherardi was a very handsome man, with a full face, white skin but high in colour; he had an arched eyebrow, a lively eye, red ears, vermilion lips, a bold air [23]. Together, they drew freely on the existing grand works of Bach, Scarlatti, Händel. A musical palimpsest. When Lenny plays, Gherardi plays. No dissonance; no eternal silence, no dominant chord… [14] …as Ludwig has already started. Lennys rubatos were mimicked beginning at 6 dB, so as the hearer is left only with the general impression that language is [24] unconsciously continuous. Alpha, beta, and gamma particles, inscribe themselves in the soft tissue of the soundscape. [42] Oscillations between the code of utility and the code of beauty. [38] Each three decibel increment represents a 100% change in sound pressure. [25] Each sequenced BPM increment represents a 100% change in movement. This time, each decibel increase feels significant, each sequence presents bodies in motion. [13] Sound in motion. The arpeggios have been awaken by their individual micro-collisions with Lennies emerald marble. The stereophonic LFO pad, raises the apex of the melody by a mere halftone, complemented by the velvety felt it projects a mountainous sound of the breath of millions, shrivelling the grasslands [37] of rationality. A sonical error? Though, what can it be but motion? What can it be but metallic emotion? [22] The metallic luster that was clearly describable as moving within grayscale was now almost ivory in color. [12] Metallic interplay between shapeshifting fleshy arpeggios. Chunky pads. Dance of a serpent. [13] Intense oscillation. The metallic luster approaches some kind of a climax and stops. [12] The stage will not prepared for [17] the vacuum of silence.

III.

Premiere from the concert hall

The impenetrable walls of Ludwig, absorb the city’s cacophonous hustle and bustle. The impenetrable walls of Ludwig, today surrounded by the gasping anticipation of the appetent gathered. The anticipation cannot be wrong because it is what has taken the curious bunch to the premiere [45]. Patiently, they stand, as an indivisible mass, gathered as concentric ripples to the droplet of enigma. The droplet however does not grant access for the ripples as for the performers to be within each others uninterrupted profoundness. So outside, they wait, the gathered. Gathered ripples from all kind of liquids, all stretches of water. The space that has been opened by the tension and ‘expectation’ of endless speculation has to be filled with no less than ethereal matter. Air of short-lived serenity. The calm before the storm. [40] Just before the serenity turns unbearable… F sharp dominant tone cluster accompanied by dodecaphonical staccatos. Elevation of a fugue. Reflection, luster, refraction, luminosity, darkness, color, softness, absorption, liquidity, atmospheric density, instability of shape [26]; soul, spirit, breath, ancestors, fire, form, God. [27] Sound space creation in all directions, space creation in a continuum. [28] Rejuvenation of particularities. Ondulation of the sum. Evaporation of opaque bodies as objects disappear from sight. [29] The hall, a sophisticated form in sophisticated surroundings, a space subtracted from the whole, exposition of shifting thicknesses and firmnesses of walls and floors. [19] The walls, an organification of a synthetic body. Organic bodily tissue deliberately introduce layers of carbonization over fused sheets of metal. [12] The corners of the space, constantly in act of reconstruction between pliable skin and alveolar texture [51]. Absurd perforation and disintegration. The instruments, as well as a handful of sumptuous onyx and glass vases, appear to float on grounds, perpetually dampened by an unclassifiable, strangely fragrant solution reminding of both lubricating saliva and electric liquid. The ceiling is cut open; exposed, oculus: a circular opening 8.92 meters in diameter that is at the hall’s apex. The oculus illuminates. [49] The collected brass strips, fused into a colossal euphonium, attaching to the oculus, reaching into the troposphere. Exhaustive sound embracing all air particles. Composures being made up of the clearness of the skie, and moisture of the air, hath joyned together an indissoluble superficies. [30] Hall of Supreme Harmony. [31] Unity in fluids and solids alike, in compounds and in elements. [39] Fluid extravagance. [35]

L/L. L is free movement, outside any zone of both rational and sensorily apprehension, as L becomes L, movement equals rest, freeing its expressive power once the links that oblige bodily positions to signify fixed emotions are undone. [13] In retrospect, the bodies of L/L not only tend to indicate a world beyond themselves, but this movement beyond their own boundaries, a movement of boundary itself, appeared to be quite central to what their bodies are now. [32] Boundlessness. Absurd perforation and disintegration. A precarious balance. [33] How L matured within L, how noble, majestic the proportion; their bright, vivid colours have finally acquired all their brilliance. [5] Their musical hyacinth has risen to intense varieties with bright blue, pink, and distinctly yellow sound petals. [34] Kaleidoscopic fireworks of a thousand suns. Touching the luminous troposphere. Glance into the garden of unison. Creation and decay. Its flowers breathe parallaxing perfume, its grasses devise celestial white noise and its birds warbled amid the bloom. [50] Everlasting growth of harmonious fruits, fertilized by the scintillating Chorus of six-hundred voices. [40] A pyramidal cascade of crescending yet decrescending rubatos formed by the interplay of L/L, opens an inconceivable temporal dimension; the duration of time in time. [35] L in L, total synchronicity, now rings both sharp and explosive and as regular as an atomic metronome [12]. An intensely densified aural landscape. The rhythm is both stable and unstable. 3⁄4, 4⁄4, 6⁄4, 8⁄4, 4⁄8, 6⁄8, 8⁄8, 9⁄8, 5⁄4, 7⁄8, 12⁄16. Monophony, Micropolyphony, Macropolyphony. Adagio, Andante, Moderato, Vivace, Presto. 80, 112, 168, 324 BPM. 10 Hz to 20000 Hz. The embodiment of Metastability. [36] What a gleaming ethereal outflow of modular systems of coordination, of scientific methods of experimentation, laws of automation, and precision [37]. Of eternal source, matter; the form, the shape and the arrangement of the visible invisible. [1] Matters reached an ecstatic climax. A thing of indescribable awe. [12] Space in sound or sound in space. For us to dream there, to be in harmony with the irrationality of the depths... [8]

Consonance; eternal sound. [14] Awakening of the city. Galamb Barong.

[1] Seneca_Complete Works [2] Augustine_The City of God [3] Bichat_General Anatomy Applied to Physiology and Medicine [4] Strabo_The Geography [5] Mallgrave_Architectural Theory [6] Aquinas_Summa Theologica [7] Payne_Renaissance and Baroque Architecture [8] Bachelard_The Poetics of Space [9] Buehlmann Hovestadt_Symbolizing Existence [10] Eco_From the Tree to the Labyrinth [11] Hugo_Les Miserables [12] Asimov_Complete Robot Anthology [13] Ranciere_Aisthesis [14] Proust_In Search of Lost Time Vol III [15] Buehlmann_Mathematics and Information in the Philosophy of Michel Serres [16] Weinstone_Avatar Bodies [17] Hays_Architecture Theory since 1968 [18] Leatherbarrow Eisenschmidt_Twentieth Century Architecture [19] Evans_The Projective Cast Architecture and Its Three Geometries [20] Steiner_After Babel Aspects of Language and Translation [21] Kemp_Behind the Picture [22] Prince_Historical and Philosophical Issues in the Conservation of Cultural Heritage [23] Voltaire_Candide [24] Kittler_The Truth of the Technological World [25] Hovestadt Buehlmann_Quantum City [26] Evans, The Projective Cast Architecture and Its Three Geometries [27] Sloterdijk_Critique of Cynical Reason [28] Mallgrave_Modern Architectural Theory [29] Alhacen_Theory of Visual Perception Books 1 2 3 [30] Agrippa_Three Books of Occult Philosophy [31] Koolhaas_Elements of Architecture [32] Butler_Bodies That Matter [33] Foucault_The Birth of the Clinic [34] Darwin_The Variation of Animals and Plants under Domestication [35] Braidotti Hlavajova_Posthuman Glossary [36] Braidotti Dolphijn_Philosophy After Nature [37] Ockmann_Architecture Culture 1943 1968 [38] Schumacher_The Autopoiesis of Architecture Vol 2 [39] Rousseau_Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau [40] Joyce_Ulysses [41] Burrows_Fictioning [42] Morton_Hyperobjects [43] Zimring_Encyclopedia of Consumption and Waste [44] wikipedia_Music and Architecture [45] Ayache_The Blank Swan [46] Gannon_Reyner Banham and the Paradoxes of High Tech [47] Laennec_A Treatise on the Diseases of the Chest and on Mediate Auscultation [48] Marzano_The Roman Villa in the Mediterranean Basin [49] Yerkes_Drawing after Architecture [50] The Book of the Thousand and One Nights [51] Laennec_A Treatise on the Diseases of the Chest and on Mediate Auscultation

#a/rme #text

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