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theonlinemuse · 4 years

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So @lesbianmaxevans and I have been discussing how there’s very little backstory for Dani Powell on the show and we decided to contribute to the tags by coming up with our own headcanons for her:

Dani is a nickname obviously, but instead of Danielle or Danika, it’s short for Danys, a unisex Haitian Creole name. She only gets called Danys if she’s in trouble

Malcolm giggles whenever that happens and Dani threatens to put her cold hands on him if he tries calling her that

Malcolm learned her middle name the same day he met her middle sister, New York County Court Judge Naomie Powell, who barged into the precinct after an incident where Dani got hurt and went, “Danys Eliana Powell, if you’re going to give our family a heart attack, at least pick up your phone!”

Her dad is Haitian (I still say that episode 5 should’ve delved into this with Dani and her backstory) and her mom is Jewish. Dani and her sisters were all raised Jewish

Dani doesn’t regularly go the synagogue, but it’s tradition for the Powells to go to services during major holidays

Dani and JT explaining Jewish holidays to everyone

Powell wasn’t her dad’s original last name. Her dad and grandma came to New York from Port au Prince in the late 70s and their original last name was Poirot. Grandma Eliana kept the name, but her dad changed it to Powell when he started university

She’s the youngest of three girls in the family. Her oldest sister Mona is played by Meta Golding while middle sister Naomie is played by Sydney Tamiia Poitier

Naomie was the sister who suffered from night terrors after getting into a bad car accident as a teenager and Mona and Dani would often take turns looking after her. This is how Dani knew how to deal with Malcolm

Dani is bisexual. She and Edrisa went on a date before deciding to be friends and Edrisa likes to joke about them being exes much to Malcolm’s confusion

“When did you even break up?” “We didn’t, technically. We just went go karting and had lunch at Zabar’s before we realized Dani was wayyyy too much like an aloof little sister to me.”

And this is totally a crack headcanon, but after seeing Jurnee Smollett-Bell playing Black Canary in Birds of Prey, Dani and Dinah Lance are now cousins. Their moms, Zipporah and Dinah Senior were sisters

Dani and Dinah may be Jewish, but they don’t keep kosher all the time. They don’t eat pork, but they’re absolutely weak against shellfish, much to their moms’ dismay

Chaotic bi Dinah and distinguished bi Dani

Imagine Dani going undercover in Dinah’s band and them singing the Birds of Prey song from Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Dani can rock the punk rock aesthetic. Dinah makes her wear fishnet stockings, red lipstick, a corset over a dark lace shirt, and gold metallic temp tattoos. Malcolm has a heart attack

And then Dani starts singing and he’s a goner because he’s only ever hear her sing old songs from the 30s to 50s and there’s something powerful and sensual about her singing punk rock music. He’s not ready for it

JT teases the hell out of him, but he soon shuts up when Dani and Dinah bring Tally into the mix. Edrisa records the whole thing, as well as Malcolm and JT’s expressions. Gil ends up using it to keep Malcolm and JT from doing anything too outrageous

Grandma Eliana would sing old jazz and méringue songs to Dani and her sisters when they were little so Dani ended up with the habit of singing them absently whenever she’s focused on a task, usually when she’s doing her hair

Dani grew up listening to songs from the 30s, 40s, and 50s due to grandma Eliana always playing her extensive vinyl collection. She didn’t really get to listen to modern music until she was in middle school

In addition to jazz and swing, Dani’s surprisingly good at disco. It didn’t help that her dad often played Boney M and Earth Wind and Fire during her childhood

She used to joke that the Powell family is decades behind in their taste in music. Dani doesn’t listen to many modern songs, but she likes singing along to Yonce as well as Janelle Monae songs like Electric Lady and Sally Ride

Make Me Feel becomes Dani and Dinah’s bi anthem

Malcolm once caught her singing and he keeps trying to catch her again. He’s lucky to listen for five seconds before she kicks him out of the bathroom

Dani’s a bit of a tea expert thanks to grandma Eliana, who taught her many different ways of making tea. Other than Earl Grey, Dani’s favourites include grandma Eliana’s ginger tea and pomegranate tea

And I’m not just saying that last one because I saw tags about a Brightwell Hades and Persephone AU

She loves tea flavoured desserts as well. She often gets a glazed Earl Grey donut for breakfast on Monday mornings when she needs a little pick me up

She changes up the glaze depending on her mood. Lavender for when she’s stressed, balsamic and pomegranate for when she’s in a good mood, blueberry for when she’s irritated or stuck on a case, brown butter for when she’s tired, and caramel with blood orange zest for when she’s ready punch a dick

In the summer, she loves Thai iced tea popsicles and matcha green tea popsicles dipped in chocolate

Dani isn’t as big of a coffee drinker as she is a tea drinker, but if she has to have coffee, it’s always a cinnamon mocha with a shot of espresso

She can cook, but because of her schedule, she mostly sticks with quick to make dishes like grilled cheese and spaghetti. She likes spicing things up though, thanks to growing up with her dad and grandma’s cooking

Every Hanukkah, Dani always gets roped into preparing the desserts with Zipporah since her dad, grandma, and oldest sister are in charge of cooking. Dani’s the first to admit that she’s not a cook, but she’s gotten good at making sweets, even if she doesn’t always have the patience for it. Eight nights a year is her limit

Malcolm as a foodie bemoans this and his trying to broaden her food choices slowly becomes a thing

The look of horror on his face when he sees her chow down on a double beef bacon mushroom burger, poutine, chocolate pecan pie and a strawberry milkshake in one sitting is priceless

And Dani loves seafood, especially shellfish which Malcolm can’t have because it gives him hives

Dani was a bit of a trouble maker in elementary school, but for good reason. She stuck gum in a classmate’s hair because she stole her favourite scratch and sniff stickers and lied about it. And she once kicked a football player where the sun don’t shine because he was being a dick to her

She dressed like Kimberly Hart from the Power Rangers movie in high school, though she did have a goth phase for about two weeks in freshman year. She was trying to channel Wednesday Addams. She was definitely a bit of a rebel style wise. Malcolm was most definitely a nerd

Ironically, Dani’s the one with poor eyesight. She only wears glasses if there’s no more contacts and they’re a chunky pair that’s similar to Edrisa’s glasses

Dani does have some secret nerdy traits, she knows how to code thanks to her sister Naomie going to coding camp for five consecutive summers

And like Kay, Dani has some artistic tendencies too. She grew up with outdoor art programs that encouraged her to paint

She’s fluent in French. She, her sisters, and their paternal cousins went to a bilingual language school thanks to grandma Eliana’s influence

Dani also did competitive figure skating as a kid. She actually made it to the Junior Grand Prix finals. She got silver

There’s recordings of her competition routines on YouTube somewhere and she actually goes undercover as a figure skater for a case. Gil acts as her coach because he actually used to skate as well

She also did some cross training in ballet as well since her godmother is a well known ballerina turned dance teacher. There are a lot of pics of Dani in her early teens of her in a leotard and tights with curls escaping her ballet bun

She has an old injury that often acts up when the weather is cold. She broke her leg pretty badly in high school due to an accident in gym class. She got knocked off the balance beam when they were doing gymnastics and had to be rushed to the hospital for surgery

She prefers horror and thrillers to action movies, but she likes period pieces too. Belle is a recent favourite of hers

Dani likes Star Trek because her dad is the biggest sci-fi nerd and it was a big part of her childhood. She also grew up as a fan of Eartha Kitt because of him after he made her watch 1960s Batman reruns with him

As a result, she wanted to name her first kid after Eartha. She eventually nicknames her first daughter Kit because of this

Dani actually introduced Tally to JT. They were roommates in college (Dani majored in social work while Tally studied chemistry) and they went to the same synagogue

Tally designated Dani as godmother after she and JT had twin girls. She was the sandeket at Noa and Miri’s simchat bat

She practices Krav Maga, she and Dinah both learned it in high school, though Dani always says that Dinah had more of a natural talent for it

Dinah also did kickboxing and gymnastics and Dani ended up tagging along her lessons. She doubled as a coach and sparring partner

She and her sisters dressed up as magical girls for Halloween when they were little and the new Charm reboot is like reliving their childhood

She wraps her hair for sleep with funny and colourful scarves that Naomie always gives as gag gifts, a tradition that started when they were preteens

She’s dyslexic, but she wasn’t diagnosed until middle school. She had difficulty memorizing things so she got into a habit of carrying a recorder with her. She also has her phone and computer set to dyslexia friendly fonts and listens to a lot of audio books

It’s also the reason she sometimes makes mistakes when she’s dancing. She sometimes mixes up left and right

She also had trouble learning French at first because of this

Dani can hold her liquor, but after four drinks, she becomes a giggly drunk who randomly speaks French and sings 90s rock songs

She also suddenly gains a sweet tooth when sober Dani doesn’t usually go for sweets. Luckily Malcolm has a few lollipops stashed away for when this happens

Dani did a brief modelling stint back in college to help out her cousin, who was in fashion school at the time. She mostly modelled for women’s wear and book covers. She even posed for a couple of historical romance covers

Malcolm may have accidentally come across it thanks to his mom. Jessica might have been a little smug when she told him to fetch the book from where she left it. The look on his face was priceless

Dani ends up recreating a cover for a case. Edrisa makes Malcolm pose with her. She takes so many pictures

Given that Malcolm has Sunshine, it’s ironic that Dani owns a cat. It’s a mischievous black cat named Shuri and she loves climbing things, especially Malcolm

#Prodigal Son #Dani Powell

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leigh-kelly · 5 years

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When the Ones You Love Are There, You Can Feel the Magic in the Air

Some 80s AU.

November passes quickly and Brittany finds herself getting incredibly excited about Christmas. She’s already finished making Santana’s gift and absolutely cannot wait to give it to her. With all of the end of the year stuff at the bank, Santana ends up working late most nights and Carl lets Brittany teach another class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, which fills a lot of her time. Even though she and Santana are making gifts for each other this year, Brittany wants to be able to chip in for the fancy dinner Santana ordered, so the extra money at work helps immensely.

When Christmas Eve comes, Brittany spends the morning attempting to bake cookies while Santana is at work. She follows Millie’s recipes so carefully and she’s surprised with herself that she actually doesn’t do a bad job. The house smells good—even after one tray of peanut butter cookies was burnt—and Brittany puts them all on a pretty tray she bought at the Duane Reade, hoping to surprise Santana with them when she gets home. The rain has been pounding down outside the window and Brittany gets hot chocolate ready, knowing that Santana will be in a grumpy mood because of it and wanting to make her happy.

“This day.” Santana opens the front door, soaked from head to toe and shivering.

“Babe, what happened?” Brittany comes to the door, taking in the sight of her very wet girlfriend.

“I waited twenty minutes for a cab and while I was, a truck drove by me and completely soaked me. Now I’m in the worst mood and I just want to enjoy this holiday with you.”

“How about this? You go strip out of those wet clothes and I’ll run us a bath? I bet you’ll be in a way better mood when you’re warm and naked.”

“I was going to stop and get dinner on the way home before everything closed.”

“Chinese takeout is open, I just want you to relax, that’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

“You’re cute.” Santana laughs a little as she strips out of her wet coat. “And exactly what I need right now.”

While Santana goes in the bedroom to get her clothes off, Brittany runs the hottest, most bubbly bath she can possibly make. She doesn’t even wait for Santana to come into the bathroom, she just slips out of her clothes and slides into the tub, knowing that Santana likes to sit between her legs. By the time Santana gets into the bathroom—after presumably bagging up her clothes because they’re wet and muddy and need to go to the dry cleaner without contaminating anything else—the tub is almost full and Brittany takes in her naked form in the split second before she climbs in with her.

“You don’t even know how much better this is than being at my parents’ house right now.” Santana sighs, leaning back into Brittany. “She didn’t even call to invite me.”

“Has she...at all?”

“No. The first rule of the Lopez house is that you don’t question authority. I broke that rule and until I apologize, I imagine she won’t speak to me.”

“Are you going to?”

“I know it’s Christmas and I should wish them a merry one, but honestly, no. She disrespected you in our home and I’m not going to apologize for being upset with that. This has been a long time coming, Britt. I can’t put up with how she behaves anymore. I’m trying to be more comfortable with myself, I really am, but I can’t do that with her around.”

“So you’re really writing her off?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that for me.”

“I just really have so much guilt instilled in me from my whole childhood, it’s hard.”

“Listen, babe, I really support you, whatever you do. I’m not gonna keep you away from your family, I hope you know that.”

“I do. And thank you. I’ll figure it out, but as of right now, I’m not going to go running back to my mother.”

They spend a long time in the bathtub and after they get out, Brittany calls for takeout. Maybe it’s not a traditional Christmas Eve dinner but they’ve ordered a roast from Zabar’s for Christmas Day that is sitting in the refrigerator and Brittany thinks that lounging at the kitchen table in their pajamas while they eat is kind of perfect. She loves that she actually gets to be with Santana on Christmas Eve, unlike last year, and she smiles at her over her plate of noodles and Kung pao chicken.

“Can I give you your gift tonight?” Santana asks. “It’s a little time sensitive.”

“Time sensitive? You did make your gift, right?”

“So full disclosure, I made half of it. But the half I made is connected to the other half and I didn’t spend any money on it, so that’s fair, right?”

“I think so.” Brittany laughs. “I mostly just didn’t want you buying me something really fancy, so if you didn’t spend any money...”

“I promise, I didn’t.”

After dinner is finished, they wash the dishes and Santana goes up to the office for a little while to get her gift ready while Brittany takes hers out from the bottom drawer of her dresser. She really hopes that Santana appreciates the scrapbook she made, especially because it took her so long to find enough pictures of the two of them—and was insistent on taking a lot of them from the time they decided to do homemade gifts in October until when she got her last roll of film back two days ago. All she really wants is for Santana to see how perfect they look together and that no matter what the world sees, they fit together.

Santana finally comes back downstairs with two perfectly wrapped boxes and Brittany sits cross-legged under the Christmas tree. With the biggest smile, Santana sits down across from her and puts the boxes down and Brittany is pretty sure that she can hear a faint scratching sound coming from one of them. Santana just shrugs her shoulders and pushes the smaller box toward her and Brittany unwraps the paper, revealing a quilted pillow.

“I learned how to quilt.” Santana smiles sheepishly. “But if you ask Hummel, he’ll tell you I’m a terrible student.”

“It’s beautiful, Santana.” Brittany beams.

“It makes more sense if you open the other box. It’s not...exactly for you.”

“My Christmas gift isn’t for me?”

“I mean...it is, but also it’s not.”

Intrigued, Brittany begins to undo the ribbon on the other box. The scratching is not mistakable and when she gets the lid off, she sees a very tiny, but very fat kitten. She can’t even hold in her squeal when she sees him and she’s torn between hugging the kitten immediately to her chest and kissing Santana all over. Opting instead for a quick kiss to Santana and then lifting the little guy out of the box and into her arms, she feels like she’s going to explode with joy.

“I didn’t know what to make you and then Hummel suggested I make a bed for your cat. I hope it’s...okay.”

“Santana, oh my God, this is a billion times more than okay. You got me the perfect fat kitten and I don’t think I could love you any more than I do right now.”

“I was just thinking about how you said your parents never let you have a pet because they didn’t want the responsibility and how I can’t give you a traditional family, but I can give you this.”

“I’ve wanted a cat since the first time I could even say the word. He’s perfect. He’s...a he, right?”

“He’s a he.”

“Does he have a name?”

“They were calling him Aragon at the shelter, but I figured you could name him whatever you wanted.”

“You don’t want to help name him?”

“He’s your gift, whatever you decide, I’ll love.”

“Then I’m going to call him Lord Tubbington. Look how chubby he is, he’s like a huge ball of fluff.”

“Lord Tubbington.” Santana laughs. “That sounds so perfect.”

“I got you a gift too, but I seriously can’t top this.”

“Brittany, you know I wouldn’t care if you got me nothing. Seeing you so happy is my Christmas gift.”

“Well I made you this.” Brittany thrusts the wrapped scrapbook toward Santana, still cradling Lord Tubbington. “I didn’t even get help.”

Santana carefully unwraps the gift and Brittany watches as her eyes go soft, seeing the first picture of them, one she’d put the camera on the mantle to take. Carefully, Santana flips through the pages and Brittany can see a range of emotions pass over her features. Before she knows it, Santana is crying and leaving Lord Tubbington in her lap, she reaches over to grab one of her hands.

“This all just makes it feel so real.” Santana murmurs through tears. “I never even thought about the pictures...”

“I hope is okay...”

“I’m not ashamed of you, Britt. Of course it’s okay. I thought your anniversary gift was the best thing anyone has ever given to me...but this...”

“I know we don’t have framed pictures of us in the house or anything, but I just...”

“I never thought to frame the pictures. I don’t even have them. If you want to get doubles of these...”

“This is just for you, we’ll take more pictures if you want to frame them, but I want you to have this.”

“Babe. This means more than I even know how to say.”

“I love you, Santana, like, so much, and I just want you to always know that what we have is real.”

“I do know it, but thank you for reminding me.”

Because Santana is tired from her long day at work, they don’t stay up much longer. They bring the litter box and the food that Santana had stashed in her office down to the first floor and then they end up taking a bath, with Lord Tubbington peering into the tub, and they take the kitten to bed with them. He curls up right on Brittany’s pillow as she holds Santana from behind and she feels like nothing could be more perfect. Santana gave her this little guy and Brittany just feels like he completes their family. Maybe they don’t have something traditional, like Santana has said, but Brittany thinks this is better, two women who love each other and a fat little cat.

The next morning, Brittany wakes up with an excitement that it’s Christmas Day. Even though they’d done gifts last night, she loves that they have a whole day to spend together, just lounging around in their pajamas until they get dressed to have dinner and then Mercedes comes by for dessert. Even though Santana is still sleeping, Brittany gets out of bed and puts the coffee on and feeds Lord Tubbington. She looks at the instructions on the pancake box, furrows her brow and sets to work making her amazing girlfriend a Christmas breakfast. She just has the first pancakes in the pan when Santana comes out and wraps her arms around Brittany’s waist.

“Merry Christmas.” She husks, kissing behind Brittany’s ear.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Brittany turns around and grins. “I’m making breakfast.”

“I see that. What can I do to help?”

“You can sit down and drink your coffee. I’ve got this under control.”

“I’m impressed.”

“We’ll see how they turn out, you might not be.”

“You made me breakfast.” Santana smiles. “Even if you burn it, I’ll still be impressed.”

“Let me pay attention so that doesn’t happen.”

Brittany only burns one pancake. The rest of her efforts are a success and she brings the big stack over to the table so she and Santana can eat together. It’s still too early to call Arizona so she feels like she has all the time in the world to sit with Santana both at the breakfast table and on the living room floor where they eventually settle to play with Lord Tubbington under the Christmas tree. She thinks that it’s probably the most perfect Christmas morning she’s ever had and she’s really hoping that Santana is truly okay with not spending it with her family.

Eventually, they have to get up and get dressed in order to heat up dinner and then get ready to have Mercedes over afterward. They go into the bedroom and Brittany sits on the bed, watching as Santana takes off her pajama top. She’s wholly impressed that her girlfriend actually stayed in pajamas this long, since she’s usually quick to get dressed in the morning. Santana stands in front of the mirror exposed as she gets ready to get in the shower and Brittany gets off the bed and comes up behind her, snaking her arms around her waist and eventually bringing her hands up to cup Santana’s breasts.

“Think we have a little more time?” Brittany breathes into her ear, making Santana shiver.

“I...yeah.”

“Come to bed with me.”

Santana complies immediately, letting Brittany lay her back on the bed. Brittany presses her knee between Santana’s clothed legs and she tilts her head down to take a nipple into her mouth. Santana’s hands weave through her long blonde locks and Brittany spends a long time on Santana’s breasts, knowing that it gets her really turned on. She wants to have her writhing, she wants to be able to push her legs apart and crawl down her body to find her at her wettest when she gets there. Brittany thinks that if she had to choose one activity to do for the rest of her life, it would be going down on Santana, because bringing her to ecstasy makes Brittany happier than anything else.

“My nipples are so sensitive.” Santana murmurs, though she doesn’t push Brittany away.

“Think I can make you come just from doing this tonight?”

“It’s so embarrassing when that happens.”

“I think it’s sexy as hell.”

Brittany looks up at Santana’s face, flushed from both her ministrations and the knowledge that she absolutely will come from Brittany playing with her nipples. With a satisfied grunt, Brittany continues what she’s doing, only occasionally tensing her thigh between Santana’s legs to give her a little something extra. Santana’s first orgasm is small, a squeak and the tightening of her fingers in Brittany’s hair, but Brittany knows that she can do better than that and kisses down her body, pressing Santana’s knees flat on the bed.

Just as she’d wanted, Santana is so wet and Brittany laps it up, not even kissing her thighs, just wanting to get to the destination. Santana’s hands are still woven tightly through Brittany’s hair and she moans as Brittany’s tongue proves her entrance. It doesn’t take long before Santana comes again, this time, her legs shaking and profanities escaping her lips. Brittany keeps going though, until Santana finally pushes her away, breathing heavily as she lays sprawled out on the bed. She moves to touch Brittany, but Brittany stills her hand, having gotten enough just out of pleasuring Santana and knowing that her wonderful girlfriend needs time to recover after such an intense series of orgasms. Because it’s a little cold in the bedroom, even with the heat on, Brittany moves to cover Santana with the blanket on the end of the bed and she curls up beside her.

“I have no strength to get in the shower.” Santana laughs, cradling Brittany’s face.

“We have time.”

“I’m really happy right now.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah. Being with you makes me happier than anything else. I wish we could run away to Greece or Hawaii or something and just be in bed together all the time.”

“You’d get bored. You love to work.”

“Not as much as I love you.”

Santana gets quiet and contemplative and Brittany just leaves her be, stroking her hair, the scar on her abdomen, her face, just being with her. Finally, they both know that it’s time to get out of bed and they get in the shower together. Santana’s hair doesn’t need to be washed, but she washes Brittany’s and Brittany relaxes under her intimate touch. Once they’re done and dressed—and Santana looks so sexy in jeans and a sweater, Brittany thinks—they go into the kitchen and heat up the ham and side dishes that they’d ordered.

“You don’t mind that Mercedes is coming over, do you?” Santana asks as Brittany sneaks Lord Tubbington a tiny piece of ham under the table.

“It’s your Christmas tradition with her.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“No.” Brittany shakes her head. “I don’t mind. I wasn’t sure we’d ever stop being so wary of each other, but now I think we’re in a good place. We both love you and would kill someone if they hurt you.”

“She means a lot to me.”

“I know. You don’t open up to many people and you’re open with her. I’m glad that I think we’re becoming friends.”

“I am too.” Santana nods and leans across the table to kiss Brittany. “Now stop feeding the cat all of your dinner and enjoy it.”

They finish up their dinner and then clean the kitchen together. Santana starts a fire in the fireplace while Brittany takes the Yule log cake they ordered out of the refrigerator for when Mercedes gets there. She also fills up both of their wine glasses while she’s in the kitchen, then goes into the living room where Santana has her legs pulled up beneath her on the couch. She curls up at Santana’s side and Lord Tubbington hops up onto her lap. She just can’t help but cuddle the kitten, still finding it hard to believe that Santana not only got this little guy for her, but also made him his own bed. Her heart is just swollen with love and she looks down at Santana’s face.

“What?”

“I just think this is my best Christmas.” Brittany beams.

“Even away from your family?”

“Santana, you are my family. And I know we’re going to go out and party with my friends for New Year’s Eve, but right now, this is the only place I want to be.”

“I’m glad, I was worried it would be a disappointment.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know, it’s just not much. Christmas is supposed to be big and exciting or whatever but we’re just...home.”

“Do you really think I’d have a better time eating one of my parents’ friends quinoa loaf instead of being with you? Just because there’s not a lot of people around doesn’t mean it’s not special. I like Christmas like this, I want to spend every year like this. Are you...crying?”

“It’s just that I’m really happy. I’m thinking about how lonely I was all of those years with my parents and how everyone kept asking when I was going to find a husband and I knew I could never live up to what they expected of me. With you, I don’t feel like there are any expectations.”

“I wish I could have been in your life all the years you felt like that. It must have been really hard.”

“I just felt like a freak, you know? I was little when I realized I looked a little too long at my female teachers and I didn’t have crushes on the boys like the other girls did. It was lonely and being around my family made me feel even lonelier because they kept telling me how I should feel. I remember my grandmother used to talk about my wedding and ask what guy I was going to marry. I would just pick the name of whatever boy in my class that the other girls had a crush on and pretend I did too. It got harder when I was in college...sorry, I’m talking too much.”

“Keep talking, I want to hear.”

“My mom just always was calling Barnard ‘that dyke school’ and my aunts picked it up too. They would laugh about it right in front of me and ask me why I didn’t have a boyfriend yet. I would always make up the name of some guy I was seeing from NYU or Columbia or Fordham to keep them from suspecting anything. I would leave every holiday feeling exhausted and cry myself to sleep. All I wanted was to be normal, now all I want is you.”

“You have me, you know. You’re always going to have me. Look. We have a family now. Lord Tubbington, go cuddle with Mama.”

“Mama?”

“Yeah, tough luck, I already called dibs on Mommy.”

“I—“ The doorbell interrupts Santana before she can say anything else and since Lord Tubbington has nestled himself into her lap, Brittany gets up to get it, opening the door to Mercedes and snow.

“Girl, it’s freezing out here.” She laughs, bustling past Brittany and into the warm house. “Merry Christmas! Santana, do you have a cat on your lap?”

“Meet Lord Tubbington.” Santana waves his little paw and Brittany thinks she fits right in as his mama.

“Sweet Jesus, I never thought I’d see the day.”

“She got me him for Christmas.” Brittany chirps. “Isn’t he like, totally the cutest?”

“I’ve gotta admit, he is pretty cute.”

“I’ll go get the cake and the wine.” Brittany offers. “This is a great end to a great Christmas.”

#brittana #80s au

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zabariobrien · 5 years

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ABOUT:

ZABARI is the oldest child of two born to DEBBIE NELSON who didn’t care much about her son due to her drug habits. ZABARI spent a lot of his childhood acting out against a father who started another life in California and a mother who wanted him dead. He wasn’t good in school, but with his group of friends, he attempted to break into the Detroit music scene. It took a lot of missed classes, being kicked out of school and long days, but he got the attention of DR. DRE and his music career has taken off.

MUSIC:

Hail Mary: TUPAC SHAKUR

It Was A Good Day: ICE CUBE

Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe: KENDRICK LAMAR

I Got 5 On It: LUNIZ

Cruising Down The Street In My 64: EAZY E

Fuck Tha Police: NIGGAZ WITH ATTITUDE

Gin & Juice: SNOOP DOGG

Keep Their Heads Ringin’: DR. DRE

Hit ‘Em Up: TUPAC SHAKUR

Still D.R.E.: DR. DRE & SNOOP DOGG

THEIR FAVORITE SONG:

Bitch Please ll: ZABARI has had the pleasure of having some of the greatest mentors in the game from XYPNOTIC ENTERTAINMENT and his favorite song has been with recorded with DR. DRE, SNOOP DOGG, XZIBIT AND NATE DOGG. Even though they’re not speaking at the moment because he left the records for more of a powerhouse behind him. He knows if he needs them, he can go to them. He’s still loyal to his mentors and the people who got him from Detroit and gave him his start. This song reminds him of the people he has to look up to.

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

+ Traits:

[INTELLIGENT] - ZABARI isn’t good at school, but he is street smart and knows how to move and handle himself. He may not be able to tell you anything about The Great Gatsby but he can tell you useless math facts and how much you’re getting back on a brick with a vig of 2.5% easily. He moves with his smarts, he just can’ be tested in a traditional setting because he’s not book smart.

[LOYAL] - ZABARI’S loyalty is outstanding. For his friends and family, he’ll do anything for them and support them. His friends back in Detroit knows that he will use them primarily for any help in his music and as soon as his big break comes, his ground is coming behind him. He’s not the type to leave those behind, even the ones who did him wrong.

- Traits:

[TEMPERAMENTAL] - If one thing goes wrong, it can trigger anger and make him act out. He doesn’t have his anger issues worked out and all the things that has happened in ZABARI’S life, there is no guarantee how things will work out of someone upsets him. He’s not supposed to have guns on him, but he carries one everywhere and keeps the clip in his other pocket, so he has to think before shooting someone.

[CYNICAL] - Because of how his life has gone with his mother, ZABARI is very cynical and see the bad in people all the time, even the best. He doesn’t think people can change or that they don’t have very dark and bad sides. Because he tends to dwell in his darkness, especially as a writer and rapper, people who are happy are just hiding things that upset them and they’re just as bad. In fact, they’re worst because they’re lying.

THREE FUN FACTS:

ZABARI has a younger brother, who is fully white and loved by their mother. He knows it’s because his brother doesn’t look any different than their mother, even though his father also left.

ZABARI loves true crime and listening to true crime podcasts. He has his own that’s pretty popular.

ZABARI has a daughter who is his entire world. Everything he does is to make sure she has a good life. He had her with his ex wife when they were 19.

#*( i promise when you're finished we'll head to where i'm living )* headcanons #imma redo his about later on but im so tired #allergies

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coateslanier15-blog · 5 years

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usashirtstoday · 3 years

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Love Scuba Diving American Flag Veteran Independence Day T Shirt

“Both Raf and Miuccia wanted it to feel like a real style statement but make it feel modern and young,” said Guido Palau of conceptualizing the Love Scuba Diving American Flag Veteran Independence Day T Shirt hair looks with the duo. I grew up on the Upper West Side, a maideleh among those same bubbes, dreading every Jewish obligation my family dragged me to; we were hardly observant, but even the occasional Passover seder or day in shul was enough to strike fear in my tween heart. (I vividly remember my mother forcing me into a dark-green velvet, floor-length dress that most closely resembled a carpet, only to show up at a friend’s bar mitzvah and see that every other twelve-year-old girl there was dressed like a mini-Paris Hilton.) On a sunny recent Saturday, I found myself quietly weeping in the smoked-fish line at Zabar’s on 80th Street and Broadway. Yes, it felt like a deleted scene from a Nicole Holofcener movie, and no, I don’t think anybody noticed—sunglasses and face masks are great for public crying—but I couldn’t help it; it was the second day of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and stalwart Upper West Side bubbes were all around me, rapping on the counter with plastic-gloved hands and inquiring after the fish cutter’s new baby before haranguing him over an overly-thin cut of lox.

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blogwiseguy123world · 3 years

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Global Dried Cantaloupe Market Research Report 2019-2024

Summary – A new market study, titled "Global Dried Cantaloupe Market Research Report 2020" has been featured on WiseGuyReports.

The global Dried Cantaloupe market is valued at xx million US$ in 2020 is expected to reach xx million US$ by the end of 2026, growing at a CAGR of xx% during 2021-2026.

This report focuses on Dried Cantaloupe volume and value at the global level, regional level and company level. From a global perspective, this report represents overall Dried Cantaloupe market size by analysing historical data and future prospect. Regionally, this report focuses on several key regions: North America, Europe, China and Japan etc.

Also read – https://www.einpresswire.com/article/522277078/global-dried-cantaloupe-market-report-2020-by-supply-demand-consumption-price-share-revenue-and-top-manufacturers

Market Segment Analysis

The research report includes specific segments by Type and by Application. This study provides information about the sales and revenue during the historic and forecasted period of 2015 to 2026. Understanding the segments helps in identifying the importance of different factors that aid the market growth.

Segment by Type, the Dried Cantaloupe market is segmented into

Baked Dried

Freeze Dried

Segment by Application

Direct Consumption

Candy and Snacks

Others

Global Dried Cantaloupe Market: Regional Analysis

The Dried Cantaloupe market is analysed and market size information is provided by regions (countries). The report includes country-wise and region-wise market size for the period 2015-2026. It also includes market size and forecast by Type and by Application segment in terms of sales and revenue for the period 2015-2026.

The key regions covered in the Dried Cantaloupe market report are:

North America

U.S.

Canada

Europe

Germany

France

U.K.

Italy

Russia

Asia-Pacific

China

Japan

South Korea

India

Australia

Taiwan

Indonesia

Thailand

Malaysia

Philippines

Vietnam

Latin America

Mexico

Brazil

Argentina

Middle East & Africa

Turkey

Saudi Arabia

U.A.E

Global Dried Cantaloupe Market: Competitive Analysis

This section of the report identifies various key manufacturers of the market. It helps the reader understand the strategies and collaborations that players are focusing on combat competition in the market. The comprehensive report provides a significant microscopic look at the market. The reader can identify the footprints of the manufacturers by knowing about the global revenue of manufacturers, the global price of manufacturers, and sales by manufacturers during the forecast period of 2015 to 2019.

The major players in global Dried Cantaloupe market include:

Green Organic

Bella Viva Orchards

Sincerely Nuts

Urban Platter

Dwayne's Fresh Jerky

Zabar's

Fruitland

Manitou

Brix Products

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thebrowneyedlolita · 4 years

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MILLI

A long time ago, during what I would call a moment of self doubt, I remember writing to one of my friends this particular message: “ Wish I didn’t feel this much all the time”. I guess the signs were all there already… Now, his reply is the best part. He simply, without any further context given, just said: “I thought about it, but I always end up with the conclusion that I’d rather feel too much than too little”. And there you go. Here I am at the brink of my mid twenties, coming to terms with the reality of it all, and it is slightly terrifying but definitely liberating. I feel too much, I internalise every single little movement and word spoken and to feel for me is to live, experience in strong waves that exaggerate and amplify ‘til my whole body and mind are left exhausted.

My sadness, no matter how little, comes and leaves a mess of shattered glass everywhere, which I diligently and continuously pick up again and reassemble in the best way I can, ‘til the next wave of hurricanes hit the port. And the regularity of it has made me the best of my class at it. I have developed different techniques and methods to regroup and return to a formation, fit enough to fight the next battle. This shouldn’t inspire feelings of pity in the reader, as there is nothing quite as vulgar and easily manipulated as pity. I don’t want pity, in fact it’s not at all as bad as it seems. Happiness for example, can translate into a very strong and powerful emotion to me too and trigger a beautiful wave of intensity that washes over me and leaves me feeling complete.

For as long as I’ve known how to talk and fully understand emotions, my cognitive ability to process the world around me has always fascinated and scared me at the same time. Every stimuli from the external world has the ability to single handedly knock me off my feet and affect me in such a way that I can’t quite put into words. I’ve decided to scrap up a list of things that I am, the good and the bad, in an effort to come to terms with all of it and hopefully use this as a therapeutic ground for acceptance and growth.

When I was a kid, my grandparents had a cassette of Riverdance (Irish dancing),the whole thing fascinated me so much I spent two weeks learning the dance over and over again until my legs hurt. I devour books and songs, to the point where people don’t get how excited a bass line makes me feel that it changes my whole mood. Not to mention the immeasurable amount of times I’ve attended a concert and felt my heart would explode, or the times I’ve fallen into a complete trance whilst listening to musicians play jazz at my favourite spot.

I hate confrontation to the point where I physically feel pain after an argument and my stomach closes up, I frequently laugh and smile whilst walking on the streets which I recognise might scare the people surrounding me but I can’t help it.

I associate every track to a moment, a word, a feeling, an image, a time and space. I daydream on a regular basis which causes me to miss my tube stop very often. I am obsessive about my hygiene and will floss and oil pull and wash myself way more often than necessary but strangely am not compulsive about anything else. If I think a song sounds like another one I will spend the whole day trying to find what the other one’s name is. I look at colours and images very often and associate them in my head.

I am extremely responsible and I never wanna rely on anyone so am often the person that takes you home at night, tucks you in and leaves water by your bed. I don’t like change to be honest, I love the routine but only if it has excitement in it, if not I try and construct a new set of habits that incorporate that. I dance when I brush my teeth, when I take a shower, when I cook and when I’m supposed to work out. I am not great at sleeping, I am very wired at all times so to ask my head to shut up is a mission.

I love people that are passionate about something, and I will surely fall in love with you if you spend time trying to explain to me how much your passion means to you and let me into your crazy little world. I don’t care if your passion is collecting pencils, just walk me through it with lit up eyes and excitement and I’ll love it.

I love to make other people feel better even if I am not feeling great, I have a bit of a nurse complex but hey it is what it is. I don’t like criticism unless it’s feedback. I have developed a fear of heights which particularly affects my ability to climb up ladders.

I find comfort in music and being alone. I work well in social environments but thrive alone. Sometimes I am very hard on myself and it sucks cause no matter how well I do, it’s still not good enough to my ideal standards. I’ve been put on a pedestal my whole life and I’ve just recently found pleasure in stepping down from it and doing the unexpected. In fact being a bad girl turns me on. I love studying and academics is something I do miss a lot. I love past times and nostalgia for places and people I’ve never met. I’m extremely anxious about missing out and not knowing enough so I try to listen and learn as much as I can about history and science and music and movies and cultures and all the rest this world has to offer.

I can be a bit of a moon in scorpio but I guess it balances out with my sun in Leo. I make a lot of playlists and wish the days of mixtapes were still around. I idealise everything and everyone and it always bites me in the ass when reality hits. I find it hard to receive affection these days because of a rotten apple I’ve had in my past relationships but I’m working on it. I love the mountains and I could spend my whole winter season there. I can be very spiritual as well as very cynical and it’s a weird balance if you ask me.

I don’t suffer from PMS nor have a painful period which is usually very short lived and I thank the gods every time for this. My mother says I was born to be a mumma and to be fair I can’t wait to have lots of kids and have them wear Led Zeppelin t-shirts and buy them as many instruments as they want. I write a lot and it helps me process stuff. I eat pretty healthy but would down an IPA and pasta every day of my life if I had the chance. When I was a kid my dad used to cook pasta with tuna when my mum was away flying and that was pretty much the only dish he knew how to cook. Still to this day, I make the best pasta with tuna and vinegar and it’s my favourite dish ever.

I am a very sunny person that lives off of light and warm energy but unfortunately find myself contemplating the darker side of things more often than I wish.

I am extremely sensitive to people’s emotions and can usually get a good sense of how the other person is really feeling, therefore I go out of my way to make them feel comfortable and give them whatever they need which in return drains the energy out of me.

I love Woody Allen’s movies and walks at night in lit up cities. I love breakfast, it’s my favourite meal of the day. I have a necklace my grandad gave to me before he passed away and I always carry it with me so when I walk it sounds like him walking in the house. I am not scared of death and would be okay if I had to leave tomorrow cause I believe in fate.

My favourite movie is When Harry Met Sally and it’s a comfort blanket for me, I used to be able to recite what Billy Crystal said to Meg Ryan at the end. For a long time I wanted to be an actress and got into the actor’s studio in NY but decided I wanted to pursue music instead as I couldn’t see myself living without it. I also wanted to be a ballerina for many years and pursued ballet, frequently visited Julliard with my mum until I grew up and decided it wasn’t for me.

I don’t get along with technology and partly, I admit, it’s due to my rejection of all things that I find lack human touch. I am extremely fascinated by complex individuals, people that have different layers to themselves and think too much.

I am scared of clowns and anything relating to the circus. I have found out after an unfortunate incident that I talk a lot and calmly in situations of danger as an adrenaline release, like this one time where a robber came into my house whilst I was home and as a 15 year old girl at the time, I had long meaningful conversations with him although in a situation of panic and terror.

He caressed my face before leaving and said “You’re a clever girl”, that episode is still stuck in my mind. He was actually nice to be honest. I also didn’t cry for a while after that.

I don’t like to look at violence not even in movies. I am constantly split between a more tomboy aesthetic that comes naturally and a less comfortable feminine look. I can definitely tell the difference between filtered and unfiltered water and admit I might have a slight addiction to coffee. I don’t like to relinquish control, that’s why drugs have never really had a hold on me.

My dream is to get to see Michael McDonald perform live. I also wish I could just take a plane and go to New York tomorrow, see Allen perform and eat the best bagel from Zabar’s but I also have rent to pay. I never go shopping for clothes, and if I have to I will smash it out in a couple of hours. Lord knows how people find that interesting.

I sing because my granddad made me fall in love with it and was my biggest supporter. I love high end fashion but have mixed feelings towards it as I realise the negative impact it has on the environment. Sometimes I wish I could just be reckless and impulsive instead of a responsible routined human but can’t do much about that.

If I tell you I love you, it means I love you. I once had an outer body experience at a Tinariwen concert and I keep trying to see them live as much as I can to get that feeling again. My favourite instrument is the bass and unfortunately I have a tendency to start many things and never finish them.

I am a bit of a hypochondriac and am always freezing, always. Leo in Titanic was my first ever crush and as a funny coincidence, I too, draw with charcoal. In the summer of 2017 I couldn’t get out of bed, a really special person helped me get out of bed, gave me a job, a purpose and helped me get over it. I weighed 48 kilos, I made a promise to myself one day I would always make sure to never let myself get to that place anymore and I’ve been pretty good at that. I am thankful for people in my life that saw me at that time and helped me through it, I will never forget.

Other than that instant, I am generally very happy and my favourite flower is the sunflower. My favourite colour is dark green and if I could have a superpower I’d probably wanna fly. I have a very bad habit of chewing loudly and I’m tryna work through that. I also have a long time dream of doing stand up comedy but am not great at delivering punch lines.

I do believe that Christopher McCandless really hit the jackpot when he wrote “happiness is only real when shared” in his diary and I also think that people should put down their phones and talk more. I’m trying to make an effort to improve on that. I think that sums it up, although I do think I’ve left out a lot of stuff for sure. Ah yeah one last thing, no cilantro and Waffles over Pancakes any day.

EL xx

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leigh-kelly · 5 years

Text

Never Gonna Give You Up, Never Gonna Let You Down

Some 80s AU.

On the Friday of a long week at work, Santana is especially looking forward to a low key weekend with Brittany. The weather is getting colder and she thinks that just laying on the couch snuggling with Brittany will be possibly the best thing in the entire world. Hudson has driven her crazy the entire week, messing up deposits, getting snarky with customers and just being a general nuisance. She thinks that 5:00 can’t come soon enough, when she can lock the doors and just be done with the bank for two whole days. She’s thinking about it longingly when Terri buzzes her from her desk.

“Your mother is on line one.”

“Got it, thanks.” Santana rolls her eyes a little and picks up the phone. “Hello.”

“Hello, Santana. I’m calling to tell you that your father and I will be in the city tomorrow and we’d like to come by for dinner.”

“Oh.” She takes a breath and sees her relaxing weekend completely going down the drain. But it’s so hard to say no to her mother, even though a big part of her would prefer to never see her again. “That’s fine. What time should I expect you?”

“Around five, your father has a meeting and I’m having lunch with a friend.”

“Five is fine, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Santana hangs up the phone and leans back in her chair groaning. Her stomach already hurts at the thought of her parents coming over and especially at the thought of telling Brittany. She wants Brittany to stay, she wants Brittany to stay so badly, but she’ll understand if she doesn’t want to. Her parents, her mother especially, do not treat Brittany well and Santana thinks that if she were Brittany, she’d run out the door as fast as possible. And on top of all that, it’s after four and Millie has left for the week, so she is going to have to come up with something to cook for dinner on her own.

When 5:00 finally comes, Santana doesn’t feel the relief that she’d been hoping to feel. Instead, she just feels incredibly stressed out about tomorrow and she takes her time at her desk, making sure everything is settled after her employees leave. After she finishes, she says goodnight to Ken, the lone security guard and locks the door behind her, looking for a cab on the windy and rainy October night. She finally gets one and she leans her head back against the seat, pulling her jacket more tightly around herself and feeling like she could just start crying.

Brittany isn’t home yet when she gets home and figuring she could at least have something ready for dinner when she gets home, she orders Chinese food and changes out of her work clothes. Once she’s done, she sinks down into the couch and puts her head in her hands. She wishes she knew how to say no to the people who strive to make her life a living hell, the people who are supposed to love her unconditionally, but she just can’t. Despite everything, she still longs for them to love and accept her and her heart feels really broken when Brittany walks in the door.

“Hey babe.” Brittany drops her dance bag by the door and slides off her shoes. “You okay?”

“Not really.” Santana shrugs. “My parents are coming for dinner tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Brittany sits down next to Santana and rubs her shoulders. “I’ll call Sugar and see what she’s doing.”

“Yeah, I mean, if that’s what you want to do.”

“I just don’t want to make this harder for you.”

“It’s easier when you’re around.” She mumbles, looking down at her hands. “But I get that they’re awful and you shouldn’t have to be around that.”

“I’ll stay.”

“Don’t feel guilted into it.”

“I don’t.” Brittany takes Santana’s hand. “I love you and I want to be here for you. It’s just like Easter, I’m not going to leave you alone.”

“You don’t know how much I appreciate that. All I wanted to do this weekend was hang out in sweatpants with you and now there’s this...”

“We still have Sunday for sweatpants.” Brittany shrugs. “At least that’s something.”

“You’re right. I just...don’t want them here.”

“I know.”

The night is quiet, though Santana gets up off the couch after dinner and starts going through the kitchen to catalogue what Millie has left that she can possibly figure out a dinner from. She realizes it’s fruitless to even try, Millie only buys the things on Santana’s list, plus whatever she’ll use to make her and Brittany dinner during the week. Santana realizes she has to call Zabar’s in the morning and pray it’s enough time to order catered food for dinner. She honestly just feels sick to her stomach when she leaves the kitchen and she tells Brittany that she’s going to go to bed. Brittany, because she’s Brittany, follows her to the bedroom and curls up behind her, squeezing Santana’s shoulders and rubbing her back. It makes Santana feel a little bit more relaxed, but it’s a long time before she’s able to fall asleep.

Brittany is still asleep when Santana gets out of bed, brushing her teeth and then getting on the phone to try and order food. Luckily for her, the woman at Zabar’s says that they’ll deliver the dinner she picked out by 4:00 and Santana manages to take a breath, thinking that at least there’ll be dinner on the table for what’s sure to be a train wreck. Her mom hates Brittany living there, she’s made it quite clear, and it makes her sick just thinking that it’s going to come up again, thinking that her mother will be certain to make Brittany uncomfortable even though she belongs there so much more than the Lopezes do.

Santana can tell that Brittany is tiptoeing around her all day. She feels bad that she gets so stressed out that she makes Brittany nervous, but she just can’t help it. She’s sick to her stomach thinking about her parents being there, thinking about how the weekend she’d just wanted to rest with Brittany is completely ruined. At 3:00, she gets in the shower. She thinks of how her mother had made her put on regular clothes when she was sick and she knows that she has to be dressed for dinner. She won’t expect Brittany to be, but as for herself, she just doesn’t have a choice. After Santana gets out of the shower, she puts on a dress and her birthstone necklace from Brittany. If nothing else, she’ll feel better that she’s wearing it.

While Santana signs for the food from Zabar’s, Brittany gets in the shower. It shocks Santana when she comes out wearing a dress she’s never seen before. She wonders if that’s where she’d been when she went out earlier and she’s not sure if it makes her heart swell or break. Everything in her always feels mixed up when it comes to her parents and just for a moment before they get there, she sinks into Brittany’s arms, feeling her strong arms wrap around her.

“Are you okay?” Brittany asks.

“Not really. My heart won’t stop racing and I feel a little sick.”

“Tonight, after they’re gone, we can take a bath together and I’ll give you a massage.”

“That sounds so good. You always know how to calm me down.”

Before too long, the doorbell rings and Santana steps back from Brittany and takes a breath. While Santana goes to the door, Brittany goes into the kitchen to check on the food and Santana gives her one last smile. When Santana opens the door, her mother is wrapped in fur, despite it being only late October, and she pushes her way past Santana and into the house. There are no formalities, no time where her mother pretends she’s happy to see her and even her father is awkward as Santana offers to take their coats.

“Mama, Papa, can I get you something to drink?”

“We brought wine.” She reaches into her bag and takes out a bottle of red. “You know I don’t like the wine you drink.”

“Okay, well make yourselves comfortable, I’ll go pour this.” Carrying the bottle with her, Santana goes into the kitchen where Brittany is poking at the roast with a fork. “Get me a bottle of tequila, please.”

“That bad already?”

“It’s just perpetually that bad, Britt.” Santana sighs. “I’ll just bring them their wine, do you mind carrying a glass of white for me?”

“On it.”

Santana carries the two glasses back into the living room where her parents have made themselves comfortable on the couch. A minute later, Brittany comes in with two glasses of white and Santana watches the expression on her mother’s face change the instant she sees Brittany. It makes Santana’s stomach twist and she just wants to scream. Brittany never did anything to anyone. There’s no reason for her to be treated like garbage.

“Brittany.” Mrs. Lopez looks her up and down. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“I invited her, Mama. She was off of work tonight.”

“Well.” She huffs. “That’s something.”

As much as she hates to leave Brittany alone with her parents, Santana goes to start putting the food on the table in the dining room. Once she’s done, she goes back into the living room and is stopped abruptly in her tracks by the way her mother is speaking to Brittany.

“Really, it’s unacceptable that you’re living here. There are dormitories for girls if you can’t afford to pay rent. There’s no reason you should be taking advantage of my daughter. And to be a part of her family dinner, that’s just...appalling.”

“Mama.” Santana feels bile rising in her throat. “Don’t speak to her that way.”

“Don’t speak to your mother that way.” Dr. Lopez interjects.

“Santana, it’s fine.” Brittany murmurs.

“No, it’s not fine. Brittany is living here because I choose to have her here. It’s not your place to tell her that she shouldn’t stay.”

“I’m looking out for you, Santana. If only you would consider what people would think.”

“No one thinks anything because my neighbors mind their own business. I just...I think you should go.”

“This is unbelievable. You’re choosing this girl over your own family?”

“Brittany is my best friend and she’s never done anything but try to impress you. I won’t accept you talking to her the way you were.”

“Roderigo, lets go.” She gets to her feet and Santana feels her knees weaken.

“Lucia—“

“I won’t stay and be spoken to like this.”

Santana finds that she can’t stay on her feet as they walk out the door. She’s never stood up to her mother before and she’s fairly certain that she might vomit. Sitting on the couch, she puts her head in her hands and tries not to cry. Hearing that woman try to guilt Brittany into leaving not only made her angry, it also terrified her. The moment the front door clicks shut, Brittany sinks down on the couch beside Santana and wraps her arms around her, holding her close.

“You didn’t have to do that, babe. It would have been okay.”

“It wasn’t okay. This is our home and she was trying to convince you to leave. I just...don’t want you to ever want to leave because it gets to be too much. I can’t do much, but I can prevent someone from speaking to you like that.” Big fat tears roll down Santana’s cheeks and Brittany wipes them away.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise you that. I know that you try to keep the peace with your mother...”

“Not at your expense. I’ve let her talk for too long about how you shouldn’t be living here. It’s not right.”

“I don’t like to see you cry.”

“I’m okay.” Santana sniffles. “It’s just a lot.”

“I hate that she gets you like this. It makes me more mad at her than anything that she makes you so sad.”

“I just...need you to hold me like this. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like everything else is okay.”

“I’ll hold you for as long as you need, I promise.”

Santana ends up falling asleep sitting up in Brittany’s arms. She hadn’t slept well the last night and she just cried until she couldn’t cry anymore and found a restfulness engulfed in Brittany’s embrace. By the time she wakes up, the dinner is long cold and when she stands, Brittany insists on heating up a plate for her while she relaxes. She is so mentally exhausted that she can’t even fight that and she lets Brittany bring her a plate on the living room couch, even though she hates eating there. The food just tastes like sawdust to her, but she manages to get some down and then she refuses to let Brittany clean up everything alone. Side by side, they wash the dishes and put the leftovers in Tupperware before Santana goes in the bedroom to put her pajamas on.

“Are you going to bed?” Brittany asks when she comes in to do the same.

“I don’t think so. I just want to be out of that dress. Maybe I’ll make it up for Saturday Night Live tonight, I don’t know.”

“Whatever you want to do, I’ll go to bed when you do.”

“If you’re tired, we can go to bed.”

“I’m not, you know I usually make it up on Saturday nights even if you end up falling asleep, but I want to go to bed with you tonight.”

“Thank you, I really need that. Today was just a lot and having your arms around me...”

“I know.”

“You make everything okay, Britt. You really just...I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“I love you, Santana. I want to be the one that makes it better when the world sucks big.”

“You are. I know I’m going to have to deal with this mess at some point but tonight I want to lay on the couch with you and watch TV.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. I’m totally down for it.”

When Brittany settles in behind Santana and wraps her arms around her waist, Santana relaxes again. There’s just something about Brittany’s breath against her ear that soothes her and she couldn’t ask for anything more than that. She can’t pay much attention to the television, but she plays with Brittany’s fingers, she feels her heartbeat, she just revels in her presence there. She knows that Brittany knows she isn’t focusing, but she manages to stay up through Saturday Night Live and then makes to get up from the couch. It’s long past when she should be in bed and Brittany trails behind her into the bathroom where they brush their teeth together side by side. Once they finally settle into bed together, Santana presses her nose to Brittany’s and just breathes her in.

“You’re really special.” Brittany murmurs.

“I’m not.”

“You are. You’re brave and strong and amazing. I’m proud of you for standing up to your mother, even though you didn’t have to.”

“It’s hard to feel so much hatred for her. But if she knew who I really was, she’d hate me too.”

“She’s ignorant. Jeeze, I lived with a whole bunch of people and no one thought I was dating any of them. I don’t know why she’s so obsessed with people thinking you’re dating me.”

“Because it’s hard enough for her to think I’m unmarried, then living with another woman...what man would want that?”

“So dumb.” Brittany rolls her eyes. “Will you have to see her again before Thanksgiving?”

“I’m not going there this year. You’ll be home, Mercedes wants to come by after dinner with her family, I know Kurt’s dad isn’t local so maybe he wants to come over...I just can’t do another year of being in that kitchen with my aunts. I’m still recovering from my ulcer, I don’t need another.”

“So you’re not doing it just for me?”

“Just for you would be enough reason, but I’m doing it for me too. I’ve tried for so long, I’m just ready to not.”

“Okay. I mean, I’m totally glad that’s what you want.”

“We’ve been together over a year. It’s time we start our own holiday traditions together.”

Wrapped in Brittany, Santana falls asleep. Her rest is dreamless and she’s glad that she doesn’t have nightmares about her mother. By the time she wakes up, Brittany is already out of bed and she’s surprised to find egg sandwiches on the kitchen table when she finishes brushing her teeth and meanders into the kitchen for her coffee. Brittany hands her the Wall Street Journal and she sits quietly and reads, absorbing the news and not thinking about the day before. Her breakfast is exactly what she needed and she smiles at Brittany over the paper.

“Plans today?” Brittany asks.

“I was hoping to just stay in. I don’t want to stress about anything.”

“That sounds good to me.”

“I think Mercedes might come by, but that’s the only thing...”

“Mercedes hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you at all. She knows you make me happy.”

“She thinks I’m trying to take your money.”

“Oh please.” Santana rolls her eyes. “I’d give you all my money if you actually wanted it. But you won’t even take five dollars from me.”

“She doesn’t know that.”

“I’ll tell her again if it will make you feel better.”

“I just don’t think she’ll believe you. She’s super protective of you and I appreciate that, but I’d also like if she liked me.”

“We just haven’t spent a lot of time with her. She works even more than I do.”

“I know. It’s just...shitty.”

“She won’t be here long, and I’ll tell her not to come if it’s going to make you grumpy.”

“She’s your best friend, I don’t want you to tell her not to come.” Brittany bites on her lower lip. “I’ll just, try to be cool with her.”

“I promise she doesn’t hate you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

After breakfast, Santana has a little work to do in her office and as much as she would like to avoid it, she can’t. She gets dressed and she sits in there going through paperwork and smoking a cigar until Brittany comes in and insists she be done with it. Putting everything away, Santana comes out and falls into Brittany’s arms on the couch. That’s all she really has wanted to do all weekend but it seems things keep getting in the middle of it. They’re barely resting long enough when the doorbell rings and Santana groans, getting up to get it. Mercedes is there and Santana welcomes her into the house, a little on edge about Brittany’s earlier concerns.

“Brittany.” Mercedes nods. “Nice to see you.”

“You too, Mercedes. Can I get you wine? Or beer? Or juice?”

“A beer would be good, I try not to drink wine so early in the day.” Mercedes tells her and Brittany goes into the kitchen, leaving just Mercedes and Santana.

“Can you be nicer to her? It’s bad enough she suffers through my mother...”

“When am I not nice to her?”

“She thinks you hate her.” Santana confesses. “And you honestly haven’t made much of an effort with her.”

“What do you expect me to do? She’s totally different than anyone I’d ever expect you with.”

“And I’ve been with her for a year. She’s the one. I just want to two to be friends.”

“I’ll try, for you. I just don’t knew what we’d have in common.”

“You both like music, talk to her about music.”

Santana and Mercedes sit down on the couch and Brittany comes back in carrying two beers and a glass of red wine for Santana. For a few minutes, it’s really uncomfortable, but then Mercedes brings up Michael Jackson and suddenly Brittany is completely animated. Behind her hand, Santana smiles and watches as her girlfriend and her best friend debate music. She’s glad that she suggested the topic and just hopes it really does something to bridge the gap between them.

“So, Santana, you never told me how Arizona was.”

“It was good, right Britt?”

“I was glad to introduce Santana to my family, they had been itching to meet her.”

“You’re lucky you got her to go. I’ve known her since college and she still tries to avoid being around my family.” Mercedes rolls her eyes.

“Speaking of family, my mother may never speak to me again.”

“Praise! What did you do this time?”

“I live with Brittany. She came over yesterday and told Britt that she should live in a dormitory and that she’s taking advantage of me.” Santana bites her lip a little after she says it, hoping Mercedes’ fears about Brittany taking her money have faded. “What would the neighbors think, you know?”

“That’s how you know she doesn’t live in the city. Doesn’t she remember Kitty Genovese?”

“Who’s Kitty Genovese?” Brittany’s eyes widen.

“She’s this woman who was murdered when we were kids.” Santana puts her hand on Brittany’s knee. “Apparently no one called the police because they were minding their own business.”

“That’s...morbid.”

“Sorry.” Mercedes twists her hands. “I was just making a point that no one even worries about what goes on over here.”

“Yeah, I know.” Santana sighs. “My mother is just a lot.”

“I’m sorry, I know she’s your mother, babe, but I’m never going to like her for the way she treats you.”

“That’s absolutely something we’re in agreement on.” Mercedes nods. “But I know it’s hard, Santana.”

“I told Brittany that I’m not going to spend the holidays with her. We haven’t worked it out yet, but we might be in Arizona for Christmas. If not, I’d just like to spend it here.”

The conversation turns to lighter subjects and Santana is glad that she has her best friend and her girlfriend around after such a hard day yesterday. Mercedes has things to do, so she has to go before long and it surprises Santana when she hugs Brittany goodbye. If nothing else, Santana is glad that came out of the weekend and once Mercedes is gone, she locks the door and sinks back down into the couch. Brittany is at her side and she rests her head on her shoulder, so comfortable in her presence.

“Santana?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think I want to go to Arizona for Christmas.”

“Really?” Santana looks up at Brittany, who looks sober. “What about your sister?”

“I miss my sister a lot, but you’re jumpy in Arizona. I think I want to spend it here, where you can just relax and be yourself.”

“I can try to relax at your parents’ house.”

“But you won’t. We only got to spend half of last Christmas together and I think I’d like to do it here, under the tree we pick out, just me and you.”

“I don’t want you to sacrifice your family for me.”

“You are my family, Santana. I love you more than anyone else in the world and honestly, if it wasn’t for you, I’d never be able to afford to go to Arizona anyway. This is what I want. But I understand if you forgive your mom and have to spend part of the day there.”

“I’m not going to do that. I want to excuse myself from the holidays with my family this year. It’s been a really hard year and I think sitting under the Christmas tree with you is something I really want.”

“I have one more thing I want.”

“Anything.”

“I want us to make presents this year. I kind of...spent a lot on our anniversary and don’t you dare feel bad about it, but I think it would be fun if we made gifts.”

“I have no idea how I would even do that.” Santana’s eyes widen.

“I totally know you can. I don’t want to get you something lame when you go back to Cartier or something so I think this levels the playing field.”

“You have Tina and Lauren, they’re always making something.”

“I promise, if you agree to this, I’ll do it all on my own.”

“Okay, then I think that’s fair.”

Santana cuddles into Brittany’s side for a long time. She really feels like it’s all that she’d wanted and though she has to go back to work tomorrow, she’s going to spend as much time as possible doing just that. Brittany, because she can’t sit still, plays with Santana’s hair, strokes Santana’s sides, murmurs things into her ear, just makes her feel really safe and protected. It’s something she never experienced in her life before Brittany, her parents never did that, never made her feel like home was a safe place and in the years before Brittany, she could only feel like home was a place to let her hair down after stressful days at work. It wasn’t a place where she could be caressed and kissed and loved. But now she has just that, now she’s safe, now she knows what love is like.

“That feels really good.” Santana murmurs. “I love when you play with my hair.”

“It’s so beautiful. You’re so beautiful.”

“Did you know that no one ever called me that before you?”

“What? Santana that’s like, totally insane.”

“I’ve been called hot and sexy, but I think beautiful is way more intimate. And it feels that way especially coming from you.”

“Well I mean it a lot. I could look at your face forever.”

“Just so you know, I could look at your face forever too.”

“It makes me sad sometimes that people have never said nice things about you. You deserve to hear them.”

“It is what it is I guess. My parents don’t say nice things about anyone, the people at work are just...whatever. Mercedes and I don’t really do that in our friendship. But now I have you.”

“You look like you’re just so tired after yesterday, inside and outside.”

“I am. I’m honestly considering taking a sick day tomorrow just to have some time to decompress.” Santana admits, shocking Brittany that she’d actually consider a sick day.

“Do you want me to leave you alone right now? If you need some space...”

“I want you here, I don’t need space from you. But tomorrow I could reorganize some things around here, let Millie make me lunch, just veg out on the couch. I don’t know, I feel like I want a day.”

“You should. It’s been long enough since you had your surgery and you deserve it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to. Things have been really tough at work and I really needed this weekend to relax. But since that didn’t really happen...”

“I’ll love seeing you sleep in when I leave for work. I know you kiss me on the head when you leave and I’m still sleeping, so I’ll totally do that for you.”

“That makes me so happy.” Santana smiles. “And just so you know, I really do feel like I’m decompressing right now in your arms.”

“I hope so. I just want you to be okay, babe.”

“Britt, no matter what my mother has to say, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You don’t worry about what she says? About people knowing?”

“I’m always worried about people knowing, but here in this house I feel safe with you.”

“I hate that the world has made you so stressed. I forget sometimes, you know? My best friends are gay, Tina is bi, Lauren is probably dating her. You’re just...alone.”

“I’m not alone, because I have you.”

“It’s different though. I mean I guess you have Kurt now, but he’s your employee. You’re not going to open up to him like I do to my friends.”

“I guess you’re right. I just don’t feel comfortable with other gay people, honestly.”

“I wish you would find a community. It would be so good for you.”

“That means coming out to a lot of people, I don’t want to do that. I’m telling you, you’re enough.”

“Okay, if you say so. I just feel bad that I have other people.”

“You don’t have to feel bad, this is the life I chose.” Santana bites her lip.

“I love you, Santana. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“I promise you, Britt, I am.”

#brittana #80s AU #24 years late

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