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artificialzeezee · 7 years

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Satire Sexuality: Tis the season (1/2)

Summary: Cis!girl bitney - University brings out things never expected within people. The truth, the lies, the worst of the best and everything in-between. There’s the pressure of first time independence along with finding yourself, and the dread of loneliness that needs to find time in your schedule. Drinking, smoking, sex and studying; life has to keep going. Couples meet, lovers clash and it all happens while becoming an adult, what could go wrong?

Christmas. Courtney is home, but everything feels different. She’s not sure how to describe how she feels, and her friends don’t seem to be much help. Bianca however, always comes through for her in the end...

Warning: LGBT+ issues (such as homophobia, transphobia and the conflict of coming out), many sexual references, alcohol and drug mentions and violence. (not always relevant to each chapter but to be expected) - Mostly original characters minus girl!Bianca and girl!Courtney

PART FOURTEEN 1/2: “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

[A/N: Apologies for the killer delay! I had so much going on within studying and family and myself I was just never able to update! I will be uploading 2/2 within the next two days! Enjoy <3]

December, 2014

Courtney lay on the bed, her heart hammering as her blood spirals out of control through her body, heavy and hot. Tiny pajama shorts that leave little to the imagination, a tight white vest top and her hair tied up in a bun. Her skin feels alive, crawling free from her volcanic bones for something cooling, to settle the fires of her deprived desires. It feels as if the bed beneath her body could eat her whole, the springs unraveling and tearing her limb from limb till she’s nothing but an empty loss of the withered soul she possesses. This is a moment that will soon be lost in the paper thin timeline of her life when she’s 30, and the experience is nothing more than an average routine with less anxiety, and more luxuries.

The night is finally rising as the sun leaves the tranquil note of a salmon sky, and the chilled colour slithers past the curtain, resting on Courtney’s freshly shaven legs. She’s supposed to be at Violet’s, till a string of texts and a shot of her father’s whisky had her fingers feverishly typing out the rescheduled plan for her friend, and her feet found their way to another front door.

In the dusk of the arising evening, the shadow of the other girl, removing her jeans, catches her eyes and holds them attentively. Courtney traces the lumps and curves of her body delicately, taking in as much detail as she can handle before the moment fades away. She’s soft and precious, her skin glowing in the dim light, and her hair falling around the pointed features of her face. When she turns around, Courtney’s is breathless.

“You always look so scared.” Adore comments, her voice low and delicate. She approaches the bed and carefully holds herself above Courtney, stroking back the loose strand of hair that’s fallen from her bun. “Don’t be a wuss.”

“I’m not.” Courtney lies, hands finding their way to her hips, tugging the excess material of her band tee; The Killers, and a lacy black thong which is new to her usual collection of boxers. Adore chuckles under her breath, lowering to meet Courtney’s lips. It’s always gentle, and it still feels fresh like the first time, and Adore knows how to make her weak in the knees with the movements of her tongue against her own. Adore’s body gradually falls flat and she relaxes against Courtney, hands roaming and her lips swelling where the kisses burn her deliciously.

And Courtney feels delirious.

Every time, it feels like a dream, but she can’t shake the anxiety. She’d hoped, that if she kept kissing Adore, closed her eyes and listened to the sound track in her head, she’d be alright. The feelings would blend into something stupendous and bright, and she’d walk the world with a newfound confidence that kept her tall - but it wasn’t happening, and the darkening dread that often overcast anything light within her seemed to be convincing enough that she worried this would be forever. Always confused, and sick with worry, and a partner she she either hides or pretends to like; or both.

Adore’s hand slides down to Courtney’s breast, and the sudden touch causes her to jump, letting out a squeal. Adore flies backward, staring at her in disbelief and concern, while the other has deer in the headlights eyes, and her breath ragged with the fear.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Adore asks.

Courtney doesn’t answer. She takes a second to gather the crossed wires scattered in her mind before leaving a nonsensical goodbye to a worried Adore, and runs out the house.

Her feet beat the ground, the gravel spiking against her trainers and the pain becomes a beat heavier than her raging heartbeat. She needs to get away, constantly needs to get some air and find something that could lift her out of the anxiety of her own demons. The musky hot air of Australia bearing down on her like Adore’s body, and she tries to run faster, gaining more breeze and less concentration on her paranoia.

I can’t like girls, she repeats like a mantra. I can’t like girls, I can’t like girls, I won’t like girls.

December, 2016.

Australia, sometimes felt so hot that the locals swore they could hear the sizzling of the sun above them. Courtney has always been an enthusiast for hot weather and the joy of a golden tan, but when everything else that comes with being back home surfaces, she’s not sure if she’s delighted to be back or terrified. She almost had a panic attack on the plane before it took off, half to do with her fear of flying and half to do with what may be awaiting in her home country.

Lucky she fell asleep for most of the journey at least.

It wasn’t a wonderful experience, to be soaring through clouds and see what was assumed to be heaven, so close and fluffy, like sheep’s wool. Some people adore the freeing feeling of being so far off the ground, with the serenity of a clear sky as their comfort. The sensation of a weightless head, able to escape the clunky pressure of the earth against their feet, and gravity slithered between their fingers, begging to drop, teasing them to collapse. For some it was a pleasure to test the limits of mankind and fly high like a bird. Courtney however, she didn’t love the feeling of flying, it just made her anxious. When she got off the plane, she wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. She’d be back at the airport breathing into a paper bag before she knew it.

Baggage claim was simple enough. People stood around impatiently, tutting and huffing every few seconds; because the nerve of the airport not to deliver their suitcases the second their feet touched the ground! Courtney stood with her headphones in her ears, bobbing her shoulders in time to the music. She didn’t mind standing still for a few seconds, it gave her time to gather her thoughts. She thought about the face her mother would make when she walked through into the waiting area, and the python like hug she’ll be forced into as Betty cries her eyes out over her shoulder. Her father, Hugo, standing with his giddy smile, the prickles of his stubble left on his face despite Betty’s protests, and he’ll give her a ticklish kiss on the cheek. The crows feet against his youthful sunny eyes, the same for her mother, she remembers so clearly from all the months back when she left for university. She shifts her feet where she stands, and continues to think of the lines of her parents faces, and she finds that despite a slight distant blur on their images, she can recall memories of every insignificant detail to their appearance. The small beauty mark above her mother’s lip, or the scar on her father’s eyebrow, or the way they both bite their bottom lip when they smile at each other.

Her suitcase finally floats past on the belt and she jumps to grab it before it slowly slips away. She walks through the hurdles that are other passengers or workers, and she remembers to breath. That’s the most important part, that she never forgets how to breath. It’s so easy to forget when all there is is the raging tornado of panic following close behind, like a stalker in the making, ready to pounce. Courtney walks through the inspection gates where some people have been pulled to the side to see what they’re taking, and others walk on. England is very lenient she thinks to herself. The difference between the two countries was remarkable when it came to air travel - Australia was adamant to check you weren’t about to pollute their wild life infested country.

Her parents greet her as if they haven’t seen her in years, or that she’s been stolen from them and returned thankfully in one piece. They jump in the car and drive to a near by cafe for a quick snack. Courtney tells them all about the recording studio on her campus, how the doors are sparkly and the rooms are so modern, and she tells them about all the people she’s met.

“Danny sounds interesting.” Her mother comments, twirling her fork into her spaghetti. “I use to have a gay best friend when I was your age, oh he was absolutely fabulous.”

Courtney snickers, rolling her eyes and cutting into her vegan lasagne. “He’s not very fabulous to be honest, he’s more...rock and roll, very grunge.”

“Oh. Well, that’s still nice, I’m glad you’re making friends.”

When they were back in the car, Courtney put her headphones back in and stares out the window. The orange colours gave her a sense of familiarity, and her lungs felt light with the soothing knowledge that this was were she belonged. Despite the problems once faced in Australia, the heartache of old boyfriends or confusing friends, or the explosions she’d found herself subdued to, at least here she never forgot how to breath. She rested her head against the glass of the window and let herself relax for a change.

After a while of window watching, she decided to check her phone. A few messages:

Danny xo: Hello gorgeous! I’m wishing you safe travels, remember to stay calm, read a book or think about my beautiful face! Can’t wait until we’re reunited again. Let me know when you land!

Steven: Please don’t ignore me. I’m so sorry about what happened. We were drunk, it should have never happened and I promise it never will again. I miss you baby, I need to talk to you, properly. This can’t be the end of us, please call me, text me back!

Alix: You better buy me a dideridoo! Have fun back home! :)

Bianca: I know you’re scared of traveling, and if you were anyone else I’d do nothing but torture your paranoia, but you’re cute so I won’t. It’ll be fine Courtney, don’t worry too much! I lent you my book, read that, take your mind of flying. Text me when you’re home xx

The smile that lifts her whole face is involuntary. A tattered copy of ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’, sucking her into a whole new world and away from the consciousness of flying. The muscles pull her features and mood to fit the mold, and her fingers type feverishly to reply.

Blondie: Thanks. I’m glad you can turn off being a dick for me, I really appreciate it ha ;) It was a good book, I got through half of it. I slept for most of the journey though. I hope you’re all good, thanks for helping me pack before I left. Message me on Facebook later!xx

Courtney spent her last day in England with Bianca, the two in pajamas watching Sharknado while eating Ben&Jerrys ice cream. Bianca said she’d never actually had such a stereotypical sleepover before, and Courtney said she missed the nights she spent with her best friends in bed watching bad films on TV. Bianca slowed down Courtney’s erratic thoughts and she organised her so she could pack, and then they relaxed. For Courtney, it was the perfect way to say goodbye and chill out before the plane ride. She fell asleep next to Bianca, and the last thing she saw was the blissful look of Bianca breathing evenly, her eyelashes fluttering and the curls of her hair framing her face and falling over her skin like wild leaves of a jungle. She woke up the next morning with an arm over her waist and a bubbly feeling festering in her stomach.

But that - the sleepover and the plane ride - was over a week ago. Now, it’s Christmas, with no snow, just the summer sun, and the anticipation that she would see so many people she hadn’t seen in months. December 25th, Courtney opens her presents from her family and as soon as she saw the pink crop top and the tattered shorts her mother had bought, she rushed to get changed, adding a pair of thick heeled sandals. She gave her father the box set of Game of Thrones, her mother a bottle of Tommy perfume, and they listened to Christmas music as they ate Breakfast.

Christmas was never a particularly big event for her family. Maybe because most of the magic of Christmas came from the idea of white, cold weather - the crisp delight of being cosy and joyful with those you love. Courtney didn’t get a blanket of snow when Father Christmas visited like Bianca did, and she didn’t wrap up in thick scarves or drink hot chocolate in snowmen shaped cups like everyone back in England did. All of her Christmas’ were pleasant, but they were never splendorous or wonderful, or magical. She was always warm, with a glowing tan over her taunt skin, and as much as she loved feeling the heat radiate over her skin and burn away the calories of her heavy sins, she always desired years with vibrant wonder, and snow. Nevertheless, she smiled as chipper as ever and loved her parents twice as hard for the gifts they had bought her.

The evening rolled on quicker than expected. Around 6pm, Courtney made her way down to her friend’s favourite hang out spot where they were meeting to catch up. Walking through the town she was filled with the warm embrace of nostalgia, and the fanning of memories once left for the winds of time to court. With her black coat acting as a cap swinging behind her, she skipped through the almost empty streets with a pose she’d forgotten she’d had. Her long bare legs like lamp posts, and the clicking of her heels ringing through the clumpy heat of the air. To her right was the alley way where she drank from a vodka bottle with Willam when he turned 16. At the end of the street was the record shop her and Violet use to spend all their time in, ogling the guy behind the counter, Matt. Walking round the corner she saw the coffee shop her, Alaska and Katya use to study in, where they would always end up distracted.

She keeps walking with a pep in her step, till she’s met with the familiar karaoke bar they always went to; the favourite hang out spot Courtney shouldn’t have been so naive to think she wouldn’t dread when she arrived. The memory her homely comfortability had tricked her into forgetting suddenly flashed as vividly before her eyes as any of the others had:

Where her and Adore had sung together, too, many, times.

She stood before the large neon sign, the door fickle with chipping paint and blacked out glass, and she gulped down the knots forming in her throat. Adore Delano, the loudest thud to cause an earthquake in Courtney’s life before England. The girl who made her feel something more glamorous than her dreams ever did, with a fire that screamed of admiration. Last time they spoke it was awkward, and heated, in the worst way possible. They had a massive blow up a few weeks before Courtney left. That was supposed to mean it was final and finished, the same old perplexing issue fluttering between them since they started secondary school. Neither acknowledged the differing tensions within one another, so Courtney worried it would still be there. Would her friends help ease the awkwardness, or was she doomed to face a reality she really didn’t want to return to?

‘Foreign Lover.’

It had been revamped into something trendy and bright when one of Courtney’s friends, Alaska, had bought it. More precisely, her father. Originally it was a dive, with grubby furniture and grimy colours decorating the place - grungy and perfect when the group was 15. The owner thought they were a funny group of kids, and as long as they weren’t drinking alcohol, he let them hang out in the corner table with a couple of cokes. Courtney use to love when she was 15, when her hair was dip dyed pink and everyone was so tight and in love with one another. Willam use to keep a flask of vodka in his school blazer, and they would take a swig before and after they left. If it were up to him, they’d have it mixed in their cokes but Katya would whine about getting kicked out - she already hated the fact all of them drank. The first time Courtney went, she remembers how the group shoved her and Adore up on the small, squeaky stage, and they sang Birdhouse in Your Soul, and how free she felt just being with reckless, fun loving people the same as her. Everyone changed over time, but the foundation of their friendship stayed the same: be funny, don’t be a dick.

Alaska wanted to be two things: an interior decorator, and the centre of attention. When her father bought the place when she wasn’t even 17, she squealed in delight at the thought of planning how the new scene would be. Two small stages, a neon bar with mirrors behind the alcohol, and a changing colour dance floor at the centre of the room. She wanted something fresh, and she organised everything in 4 inch heels and long red nails. Alaska was a power house when it came to work. Now, she’s organising events at not only Foreign Lover, but several of the clubs in town. Courtney envied how put together her friend were.

Courtney stood outside the venue for a few minutes and eventually everyone gathered, leaving her bored for only a minuscule amount of time. Alaska found Courtney first, hugging her tight and telling her how gorgeous she looked:

“As always, Court! Did you lose weight, you look amazing!”.

The next was Willam, who’d grown a beard to Courtney’s surprise and was wearing the highest heels of the group. He gave her a kiss on the cheek then scoffed:

“You look fucking shit, Court, where’s your tan? Oh, yeah, you live in England now. How’s the rain over there?”

Then there was Katya and Violet, arm in arm laughing before shrieking at the sight of Courtney and wrapping themselves around her.

“You fucking slut, look at you! I can’t believe it’s been like, 4 months!” Violet cackled.

“Dude, you have missed a shit show back here, it’s been wild!” Katya said, listing off less than exciting antics she’d gotten up to with Violet and Alaska.

and finally, amongst the clatter of everyone speaking, Adore appeared.

The first thing that caught her eyes was the free falling material that hung off her body. It was light to look at let alone wear, and it shadowed her body in a dark, grungy way only someone like Adore could fully pull off. Her jeans were tattered and rolled up at her ankles, showing the frill of her white socks, and she wore big red dock martian boots that probably boiled her feet. Her top was a flimsy cut up rock shirt - probably a Rolling Stones tee with unplanned tears, and it seemed she’d gotten her belly button pierced while Courtney was away. Adore’s hair was new too - seaweed green and accompanied by a black beanie. The last time Courtney saw her, her hair was red with soft golden strings from where it had faded with time and the sun.

Adore took a long, hard look at Courtney and smirked. The signature cocky smirk of Adore Delano.

“Aint you a sight for sore eyes?” She laughed, trudging toward her and wrapping her arms around her. Courtney was hit with the familiar smell of Adore’s perfume, and she tried to relax into the hug like she used to.

“How’ve you been, Danielle?” She asked, walking in. Adore gave her an insulted stare, shaking her head.

“Everyone calls me Adore, remember? Or at least Danny at a push.”

“Right. Sorry. So, Adore, what have you been doing?”

“Oh you know. Writing music, recording, putting together an album. A lot of cool shit to be fair,” She laughs. They walk into the bar and find a booth to sit at. Alaska goes to the bar to get them all pitchers of cocktails and when the jugs hit the table, Adore is fast to grab the one filled of Blue Lagoon and pour herself a glass. “How about you, little miss perfect? You’re in fucking England!”

“Drinking enough tea to drown yourself?” Willam teases, taking a sip of his drink and turning to Alaska who’s laughing with him. Courtney rolls her eyes, but smiles.

“Surprisingly I haven’t met anyone who drinks that much tea. Everyone I know drinks vodka.”

“Sounds like my kind of people!” Violet winks, clinking her glass with Katya, who’s sticking to water so she can drive everyone home afterwards. “But come on, you went all that way for university, isn’t it everything your pretty blonde self always wanted?”

Courtney poured herself a glass of Woo Woo, sipping it as she shrugs and tries to buy herself an illusion of hours and hours of time by drinking slowly. When she puts it down, all the eyes are on her and she laughs awkwardly. “I…it’s amazing. It’s different, colder.”

“Ew.” Violet crinkles her nose. She’s currently wearing an impeccably tiny body fitting dress that shows too much of her model like figure - to even imagine having to wrap up with coats and clumpy, warm clothes makes Violet’s skin crawl, she lived for exposing too much of herself. Courtney laughs.

“Okay, but real question,” Alaska licks her lips and draws out the sentence with an irritating drawl that only Alaska could articulate in such a charming manner, “How’s your hunky, guitar playing boyfriend? What was his name, Steve?”

Courtney tries not to physically react. Internally, she’s thrown the jug of Woo Woo across the dance floor and is screaming about how she wants to rip off one of his balls. She thinks back to the night at the party, when Steven had shown his true, ugly colours. She thought about how he was a dry, dull person that didn’t interest her past the fact he could make her smile every once in a blue moon with a dumb joke, and then she was hit with the fact she’d let him so close when he was so horrific.

“I’m not with Steven anymore.” She smiles, feeling like the words can lift her off the ground. No one looks too shocked but everyone seems to have a quizzical expression, as if they knew Steven, and thought he was an angel sent from heaven above. She stirs a straw in her drink, waiting for someone to speak but no one ever does. “I uh, didn’t like him.”

“He was hot.”

“How do you know that, Katya?”

“Facebook, duh!” She giggles, taking out her phone and then finding a picture of him and Courtney, taken at a bar on freshers week by the club photographers. She was glowing, and he looked incredible. In an alternative universe where perfection magnetised, they’d be married with beautiful babies and live happily ever after.

Thank God it wasn’t that universe.

Courtney scoffs at the photo, brows knitted in a frown and shaking her head as the others ogle the boy in question. “If I may be so blunt, that boy, is a piece of shit.” Courtney clicked her fingers above her head, flicking her wrist to toss her hair and laughing. “Like, for real. Don’t waste your time even looking at him.”

“Oh no, did he cheat on you?”

“No. He’s just…” she thought about Bianca for a second, the regular, knowing tone and the gimlet-eyed glare, and her lips lifted with mischief. “He’s an asshole.”

“But why?” Adore rested her elbows on the table and looked at Courtney with more interest and allure than anyone at the table. Courtney met Adore’s eyes and tried to share the same devilish look, to little avail.

“Well…he’s homophobic, and rude. Really rude. Like, he’s just an inconsiderate, sex maniac, with some shitty views.”

“Oh,” Violet clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, side eyeing Katya who was sharing the same smug expression, “He wanted sex, now I get it.”

“What? No-“

“Aw, our little virgin Courtney, scared of the dick!” Willam teased, wiggling his fingers in her face till she swatted him away. “It’s not that big a deal, Court. Sex is great.”

“Yeah it is.” Violet high fives him, laughing before downing the end of her drink and pouring out another one.

“Like, once you suck a dick, your soul is set free, bitch! Don’t be afraid to get on your knees and sickle that pickle-”

“Tongue punch a few fart holes before you buy the apartment with a dodgy leak.” Katya interrupted, cackling to herself as everyone else groaned in disgust. Courtney winced at the statement, recoiling back into herself as everyone suddenly ran off track and just spoke freely of the one thing Courtney wished she could be so carefree about: sex.

Courtney was the last of the group to have sex. It wasn’t that she hadn’t had plenty of opportunities, she had just never found someone she was interested enough in to have sex with. Violet lost it when she was 14 to a man almost twice her age - no one approving off him but not expressing the disgust to Violet herself - and when Courtney first had a boyfriend at 15, she helped her look sexy. They went lingerie shopping, Violet did her eyebrows because Courtney was terrible at shaping them, and she helped Courtney not freak out about the whole ordeal. She gave her extra safe condoms, lube, perfume that she insisted gave good luck, and a kiss on the cheek.

“He won’t be able to keep his hands off you Courtney. Remember to relax, okay? It might hurt, and you might bleed, but that’s totally normal. And if he’s good, you might feel like your brain is about to explode, but that’s good. Ride that boy from here to Tennessee!”

But Courtney didn’t do it. She couldn’t - he came over with the look of a hungry dog and when he pinned her to the bed and wouldn’t let go when she asked, it ended in her kicking him in the crotch and grabbing her lamp incase he charged for her. She wasn’t going to let him take control of her, she refused to be that for any man. No matter how desirable and sweet they appeared, she would never let herself be pressured into sex.

Somehow though, Courtney always found herself pressured to have boyfriends. She’d insist she liked them, maybe even love them sometimes, but it was all a show. Occasionally they were perfectly nice guys - Mark was nice, and super funny, maybe one of the funniest boys she’d ever met, but they broke up when he moved away. Darienne was a funny guy too, but that didn’t last too long either. Then there were the guys that everyone thought were perfect for her, but in reality they were trash. The man she kicked in the balls, Joshua, and one of Katya’s friends she knew from the gym, Mike. Both gorgeous and a dream, but both had a terrible sense of humour and seemed more interested in Courtney’s body than herself. All her friends were able to get with guys, have both casual and meaningful sex, but she just couldn’t.

Alaska was the only other person in a long term relationship, and she was the in-between of the group. She had sex, and enjoyed sex, but didn’t need sex like Violet or Willam encouraged. She was with a lovely guy called Kyle, but he was from Perth so she only saw him every couple of months. She was the only one of their group who understood that sex wasn’t a must have.

Courtney sighed. “Look, I’m not going to be with someone who’s a homophobe, okay? Plain and simple?”

“Why?” Adore asked, resting her cheek on her hand as she sucked at her drink through her straw. “I mean, okay I get not being with him, because no one wants to date an asshole, but you could still fuck him.”

“What- no thank you. I’d probably lose all my friends back in England if I did that.”

“Psh,” Willam tossed his hand and rolled his eyes, “Whatever, if they can’t accept you have needs then they aren’t good friends.”

Courtney faked a laugh. “Willam, you’re gay. How can you support me being with a homophobe?”

“Bitch, I am the founding organiser for the ‘Get-Courtney-Act-Some-Dick-Before-She’s-Drier-Than-A-Nuns-Cunt’ foundation, and trust me, I have at least,” he counted the heads at the table, “four people backing up this cause.”

Everyone burst into hysterics, including Courtney, and soon (and to the relief of Courtney) the conversation took a detour to everyone else’s sex lives. Willam had met a guy the night before who wanted him to put some questionable things in a questionable place, Violet apparently had her first experience with rimming, and Katya mentioned something about pegging but ended up interrupting herself with a messy laugh. Courtney found herself wandering in and out of consciousness, hearing parts and then filling in the blanks.

More drinks were downed, more crude conversations were laid out like playing cards on the table, and then a song came on. It seemed Courtney had had too many drinks, because she never even noticed Adore had left until she spun around to see her on the stage with a microphone in hand and the devils smile stitched to her dark lips. Courtney’s eyes focused on her, trying to capture her in this moment, like a bug under a glass.

She pushed back her hair. “What up punters? Merry Christmas and all that shit,” She laughed, swaying her hips as the intro of the song began to pick up in the bass, “So this is a song I wrote over the summer. Do you ever like,” Adore licked her lips, giggling lightly, “feel stuck to someone? Like, ‘Hay I love you but please shut up and leave me alone’. Yeah, that’s this! I hope you like it.”

And before anyone could even say another word, lyrics fell from Adore’s thick glossed lips like melted spinning records, and the walls thudded with the spirits of Adore’s inner workings. Willam jumped up, clapping obnoxiously as he cheered for her with enough enthusiasm for every by stander in the bar.

Adore was a star. No one could deny that the girl was something to behold, with the charisma bursting from her like a faulty electrical wire, shooting stars into the abyss for those who loved her to catch and keep. Shooting stars that burned a thousand dreams, written down in the fire of Adore’s notebooks, shared because she could share them. She wasn’t afraid to be a power house, because it gave her life; the applause made her heart function. It made her feel clear - to see the amazement over her talents - and her breath fall light, and she felt such vibrant glee that came from the cheers of an audience.

Adore let the song move her soul, dancing against the frame of her body. Her tone wobbled, preciously, moving around the music to accompany her tune. Alaska grabbed Katya and ran to the dance floor, dancing without any precision just like the other members of the audience, eating up Adore’s performance. Willam took Violet by the waist and moved into the crowd with his friends, but Courtney stayed in her seat watching.

She used to be able to match Adore - her own vibrant personality flying miles above the grungy girl’s head like a phoenix, and she felt like the notes were sucked out of her body by the adrenaline of an audience, and the claps brought her back to life. They used to be able to push the other off the edge of invincibility, teasingly so, with lust in their eyes for the sake of a show, and people needed more. Adore used to sing the lower notes, and Courtney used to sing high. Then everything changed, and Adore took it as a chance to excel while Courtney shunned away from the life she craved.

The stage. Like a vortex that breed talent, but ate on the misery of a fragile, self doubter. It let the strong get stronger and the weak crumble into dust. Once you were on a path, it was a battle to turn around.

Courtney wished she had the same undeniable confidence Adore had. She wished she was able to be more than the pretty blonde for a change, and be a grunge girl with an attitude. The guitar rolled on like storm clouds, and Adore was the lightening that sent a bolt through the audience. No one could stop watching her - karaoke night was now Adore’s gig.

As her number came to an end, people were screaming her name as if she was a hero, and then the praise was thrown at her from every angle. Her song was modern, it was inventive, and catchy and a little bit rock and roll. Adore was a glowing goddess amongst the folk of Courtney’s home town.

Why was Courtney so afraid to be a star?

She too used to be that bubbly with confidence. Even when the worst caught up with her, and she thought she would pass out, singing was her savour. She took her drink and threw it down her throat, swallowing as she stormed toward Adore to congratulate her. When Adore turned to face her, she took the girls embrace and held her long, squeezing, as Courtney filled her ears with the same repetitive praise she was familiar with.

“You have a hell of a set of pipes on you, Adore!” Willam cheered as the two girls separated. “How about you, Courtney? You going to get up there with your own song?”

Not tonight, not right away on the same stage Adore had just blown away. She shook her head and shrugged. “Next time, I think I’ve had too many cocktails to sing now.”

Willam laughed, putting his hand around her waist as a Christina Aguilera song started to play. They looked up to see Katya and Violet holding microphones, twirling around one another and then reading the little TV with the lyrics in front of them. Courtney laughed as Willam stepped around her like a cha-cha, trying to make her shake her hips in her little booty shorts.

Drinks kept coming. Soon, five of them were falling over the consciousness of their sober selves, and Katya humoured them in their states. Courtney wasn’t sure when or how it happened, but somewhere along the line she ended up in a booth with Adore, sat in her lap and giggling like a couple of school girls. She can smell the alluring, delicious scent of honey flavoured whisky, so strong and shielding Adore. The other girl has a hand underneath Courtney’s top, stroking her back gently with the tips of her fingers, and she can’t stop grinning, the unlit cigarette she’d rolled minutes ago hung immobile in her mouth. Courtney feels like purring, where the touch is so breathtakingly sensual in the calmest of ways - a wave of bliss pulls Courtney away from the dry and the glistening current of the ocean sets her free for but a second.

“You regret everything that happened before you left?” Adore asked suddenly, slurring her words and panicking when her cigarette almost fell. Courtney stares above Adore for a second, cow eyes and a thoughtful chew on her bottom lip, before she meets the others eyes again.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“I regret the argument. I regret hurting you.”

Adore nods, lifting Courtney from off her lap and leading her outside where she lights her cigarette finally. “You told me I was nothing.”

“Yeah,” Courtney leans against the brick wall, holding her hair in her hands above her hair as she settles the fog over her vision. “You told me I was nothing but a piece of ass.”

“Yeah...that was shit of me to say.” Adore takes a deep drag of her cigarette and lets the smoke go above her, sitting like a musky halo before fading away. “But you hurt me.”

“I know.”

“I mean, didn’t you like me? Y-you always seemed so into me, and happy to be around me, and cuddly! What was it all for?”

Courtney acknowledges in that moment, finally, after too many years of pretending, that her own feelings of confusion were hurting people she cared deeply for. She’d been so preoccupied on untangling the crossed wires in her head, she’d forgotten that she was tugging other peoples heart strings in the process. The truth was, fooling around with Adore growing up and then avoiding her for days afterwards wasn’t healthy for either party involved. Kissing Adore, letting her say such sweet things and then panicking and blaming her that someone would find out about their secret was as painful as a knife between the shoulder blades. Behind the humour, behind the guard, Courtney saw blue sorrow festering within the green of Adore’s eyes. Seeing it, gave her flashes of a familiar brown sorrow, and the anger they held that Adore once shared.

She rubbed her forehead. “I was confused, and that wasn’t fair to use against you. I-I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Adore took the fag between her lips again and inhaled. Courtney could almost remember the taste of nicotine, if she focused hard enough. “Remember how it all started?”

Courtney crossed her arms, smirking. “You kissed me after prom, when we were walking home.”

“You in that black gown, me in my pin strip trousers and waist coat.”

“That was hot.”

“And you said you didn’t like being so alone anymore, because Violet was spending a lot of time with that Matt guy, Katya was dating Brian, Alaska was talking to Kyle and Willam had so much trade it was hard to keep count-”

“I’m surprised Willam hasn’t caught anything!” Courtney snickered.

“And I told you, you’re not alone...beca-”

“Because you have me.”

“And I wouldn’t let you be alone.” Adore held her cigarette between her fingers, one hand snaking round Courtney’s waist and pulling her close. The smell was toxic and musky, but Courtney wanted to swim through the clouds till she was dangerously close to falling, forever. She put her arms around Adore’s neck, cautiously, and hummed blissfully. “I meant it then, and I still mean it.”

“But,” Courtney’s head felt heavy and she blinked owlishly, before taking her hands back a lot quicker than she’d rested them around Adore, “no. I-I can’t go back with you, Adore. No, we were kids, and so much blew up between us, I can’t do that again. I-I-I...” she swallowed hard, shuffling out of the girls hold. “We can’t. I can’t mess you up when...I have some...we can’t-”

“Court, I don’t want to be with you, so chill.” Adore laughed, throwing her cigarette to the ground and stomping on it. “I’m talking more DTF, you know?”

Courtney stayed still, confused. “I...no, I don’t know.”

“I’m down to fuck. God, you’re such a virgin.”

“Oh!” Courtney’s eyes shot open and her mouth stayed wide, thoughts racing against the waves of alcohol swimming through her system. “I, um...I don’t know, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I, kind of...”

All she could think about, like the switching of a light and as clear as day, was Bianca. All she could find in her stuttered brain was a crystal clear, perfect picture of her Bianca, beautiful and rough and everything that gave her happiness. “I have someone, Adore.” Courtney lied- but she was so drunk and so caught of guard by her friend, her words felt as real as needles pricking her nerves, and as sharp. “I like someone.” Courtney restated, questioning whether that was a lie or not.

“Oh. That’s fair enough. Is it serious?”

“Um...no, not really, but I don’t think sex is fair.”

“So we can still have fun?” Adore’s mischievous smirk worried Courtney.

“Maybe? Depends what-”

“We’re going to have a great night. Come on, let’s get more drinks.”

Adore pulled her back into the bar and threw her against the counter, ordering two tequila shots. After another few drinks, Adore had captured the attention of an older gentlemen who seemed more than interested in the two young girls and what their plans were for the rest of the night...

#SS #AU: Satire sexuality #original #bitney #fic #The next parts written I just have to finish editing! Again sorry for the massive gap in updates and all........#i will be trying to post more regularly again especially in this month and in August

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wordfighter · 7 years

Text

Emperor of Fire

Summary: Tai gets a distress signal from Matt and finds his friend dying. He soon learns it’s the work of an old enemy. Type: Short story/fanfiction Words: 2851 Category: Digimon/W.I.T.C.H Genre: Adventure/Fantasy? Rating: Teen Characters: Tai & Matt Warnings: Blood, broken bones, trees, shadows, lava. A battle.

Read it here or at ff.net

AU where the Chosen Children are Guardians of Kandrakar

”Matt?”

Tai's voice was low, he didn't dare to call higher. He had been out on a mission when Matt had called for him and he had followed the call and ended up in a place he had never been to before. The trees were high, the trunks bare and at least 30 meters tall. The branches made a protective cover far above him through which little water could fall through. It also meant it was pitch black around him. It was a good thing his element helped improve his night vision. The ground was bare, moist, and he made almost no sound as he stepped on it. He looked up again. Matt should be somewhere nearby.

”Tai...”

Matt's voice. It echoed in his mind but still gave him a clue to where he had to go and Tai started sprinting. The trunks around him became shorter and then there was a clearing. He slid into it, stopped right next to Matt.

”Matt...”

Tai's voice was but a mere whisper and Matt didn't look towards him. Matt's face was paler than usual, his eyes were closed and his clothes were ripped and bloody. There was blood in his hair and a deep cut over the side of his face. Tai crouched next to him, notice Matt's chest slowly rising and falling, but also noticed that his leg was bent in a way it wasn't able too, there was a bone sticking through the skin of his right hand, his left arm was almost torn from the body.

”Tai...”

Matt's lips moved. Tai leaned forward, dried some of the blood off his friend's face.

”Don't worry Matt, I'll fetch Joe. You'll be okay.”

”Tai”, Matt's voice was weak, almost unaudible and Tai grinned.

”You won't even notice I'm gone, you hear me?”

Tai didn't know how it was possible, but Matt seemed to close his eyes even more. He would never stop being amazed at the number of facial expressions Matt was able to pull. Tai got up again, took a couple of steps back. It was possible to teleport together with someone, Ken knew how, Joe as well. Kari and Matt had also learned. Tai however was still terrible at it and Matt wouldn't be able to help now, he could see that much.

”I'll be back in a second!”

Tai lifted his hand to his forehead. It wasn't necessary for the teleportation, but it helped him focus, it was Ken who had taught him that trick.

”Telep-”

Ten figures jumped down from the trees surrounding the clearing, weapons drawn. Matt's eyes flew open, his hand hit the ground.

”Tornado!”

Matt coughed, winds picked up around them, caught the attackers, but their weapons were flying towards Matt and Tai, and Tai turned around.

”Flame shield!”

A bubble of hot air surrounded them and the weapons evaporated as they reached it. The wind disappeared, the figures fell to the ground, then quickly turned around and darted into the trees. Matt coughed again and Tai turned around to see how he was doing, let the shield around them disappear again.

”I... overexerted myself...”

Matt turned towards Tai, gave another cough and blood splurted from his mouth, splatted over the ground. He closed his eyes, his fingers made a gripping move and Tai laid a hand on his shoulder.

”Matt, shit. You need to... I'll... I have to fetch Joe. I...”

”Tai...”

Matt's voice was disappearing, but he lifted his hand, gripped Tai's hand. Pain flared up in Tai's body, images flashed across his mind. There had been a battle, Matt had been doing alright, had been winning until... Blackness. A laughter echoed. Something twisted his body. Tai recognized the signature in the energy that was coursing through him, had been coursing through Matt. There was a reason Matt had called for him. And... There was someone else, a princess? No, a nymph. She had tried to help Matt, but he was defeated and she was captured. Matt had met her before but that memory was hidden from Tai, it wasn't important and he caught a glimpse of her captor. He recognized him, he had battled him before and he knew why Matt had lost. Matt hadn't stood a chance against him.

Matt's hand fell to the ground and Tai was pulled back to reality, knew he couldn't leave even for a minute. He had to hope Matt would survive until he could get help. Matt was barely breathing, his body shivering, and Tai pulled off his coat, placed it over Matt and got up again.

”I'll go help her, and then I'll come right back to you, okay? Then I'll get help for you. Just... Whatever you do, don't stop not dying.”

Matt didn't answer and Tai turned his back to his friend, knew he didn't have much time. Matt was dying and there was an important connection between the nymph and the planet, he had gathered that much from what Matt had let him see. He made a mental note to himself to ask how Matt had done it after this mission was over and then the forest disappeared around him, opened up for a large field of rocks and lava and Tai ducked behind a bush. This must have been the second reason Matt had called for him and not Davis, who was equally strong against mental attacks as Tai was. Tai took a couple of seconds to catch his breath, then dashed forward, letting his evolution happen. Red and green armor covered his body, a sword and a shield materialized on his back. His body got stronger, more muscular and his hair grew shorter, was hidden under a helmet. He rushed acrossed the lava, not even thinking twice about it. The heat was absorbed by his aura, empowered him, and he continued towards the large building he could see in the middle of the field.

He could see animals prowling the edge of the field, could see figures in black clothes running across it just like he was doing. A couple of them tried to stop him, but he sent a wave of lava ahead and they disappeared again. Fire within me, Tai thought and chuckled. He stopped when he reached the stairs leading into the building, tried to scour his surroundings, figure out what he could expect in there. Nothing he had heard Ken tell Matt about this planet gave him any clues where the lava came from, it was a forest planet with some lakes, a mountain that wasn't more than a couple hundred meters tall and animals the size of busses. No volcanoes. He grabbed his shield, continued on inside.

Everything was quiet. The sound of the lava disappeared as he entered the building, a chill rushed through his body as the temperatures around him fell like a rock. His steps echoed as he walked through the hallway, stopped at every door to listen for sounds. Time was running out, he knew. Thirty more minutes, maybe less.

”Hold on, Matt. I'll be back soon.”

He continued onwards, could hear voices, a laughter, and he recognized one of them, had faced off against the owner before. There wasn't enough time to stop by the door and listen to them and he kicked it open, rushed inside and his sword flew to his hand.

”Emperor Kladerprus!” he called.

The emperor sneered at him, didn't got up from his chair and Tai took a firmer grip around the sword even though he knew it was virtually impossible for him to lose it. The shadows around him moved and he made a sweeping move over himself with his shielded arm.

”Flame shield.”

”I knew we would meet again”, Kladerprus said as he stood up. ”Tell me, did your little friend send for you?”

Tai didn't answer, but that seemed to be the answer Kladerprus was looking for.

”Who of you dimwits failed to kill him?!”

The ground shook, flames burst through the floor and the shadows backed away again. Emperor Kladerprus dried off his forehead and turned back to Tai.

”It doesn't matter, he can't have much longer to live.”

Tai didn't answer that either and Kladerprus smiled, knew he had been correct and Tai hated how Kladerprus so easy could see what went through someone's head.

”Let them go.”

The small voice sounded like the wind blowing through the treetops and Taichi leaned to the side, tried to see who it was, and saw the nymph from Matt's memory. She was beautiful and her eyes was locked on Tai, tried to tell him to turn back and run away. Emperor Kladerprus went up to her, his hand carressed her cheek, her arm.

”My little forest spirit, why would I do that?”

”I won't help you if you hurt them.”

”A little late for that, I'm afraid.”

He gripped her chin, forced her to look into his eyes and Tai shivered, rushed forward. The shield disappeared around him and ten cloaked figures surrounded him, forced him back again when all of them tried to stab him, slice him, hurt him. For a short second he wished he could fly, then he remembered them falling from the trees and knew it wouldn't help.

”Firestorm!”

His sword started glowing and he turned around, a wall of fire rising around him, travelling away from him, pressing the figures back. Emperor Kladerprus stomped the floor again and the fire died out, once again cleared the path for his underlings. They rushed towards him and Tai swooped around them, engaged in battle. Their swords locked, Tai's shield protected him without his guidance. His magic wasn't strong, but he used it to keep them at bay, to make sure not too many of them rushed him at once. Emperor Kladerprus neutralized his fire and the cold room made his magic even weaker than it normally was. Twenty minutes left. The hilt of the sword hit one of the figures in the head and he fell to the floor, it hit another, and a third one. Two more came up from the shadows and the battle raged on. Fifteen minutes.

”ENOUGH!”

Emperor Kladerprus' voice made the room shake, large rocks fell from the ceiling and the cloaked figures stopped, disappeared into the shadows and Emperor Kladerprus stepped forward.

”We have faced off before, Yagami Taichi, fighter of fire.”

”And if I remember correctly I won that battle.”

”You did, and I was forced to spend months inside a nothingness filled with the toughest criminals from all around the universe.”

The Prison. Tai had never visited it, didn't know anything about it. Only Ken knew what it was and he didn't tell them. Tai only knew everyone they defeated were sent there. Emperor Kladerprus let his hat fall to the floor, let his coat fall to the floor. His body was lean, stronger than it had been last time Tai fought him, but so was Tai's. Tai was even a little stronger than Emperor Kladerprus, he could tell, as long as they kept to hand-to-hand combat. But the Emperor didn't fight like that. Tai placed the shield on his back again, took a couple steps forward. Kladerprus walked closer as well, they started circling each other.

”You will find that I learned things in there. I saw things no person should be exposed to.”

”Lollipops and rainbows and kitties?” Tai grinned.

”I stayed alive in there, boy. I fought my way out. Do you know why I came here? I knew your friend would be sent here, I knew about his connection here already.”

Tai glanced at the nymph, who had hidden her face in her hands. She was tied up in chains and he could see a weak glow emitting from them.

”Why her?” Tai asked. ”What has she done?”

Ten minutes. Tai didn't have time for this. The Emperor sneered again.

”Don't you have something more important to worry about?”

Something twisted in Tai's stomach and he fell to his knees, gasped, glared at the Emperor.

”Your friend's state is weakening you.”

Tai swallowed. He had to believe Matt would make it. No, he knew Matt would make it, because he would kick Kladerprus' ass and get the nymph away from him and get help for Matt. He gripped the sword, got to his feet and rushed towards Kladerprus. Fists were flying, fire was everywhere, Tai's sword kept missing because Kladerprus could read his intentions, his mind. He had to empty himself, had to focus on another plane. Tai would win in a fist-fight, he knew. He put the sword on his back, got his hands around Kladerprus' wrists. Fire engulfed him, but didn't hurt him. Rocks rained from the ceiling and Tai threw himself to the floor, held Kladerprus as protection from the rocks. Kladerprus' hands twisted, grabbed Tai's wrists, twisted them. One of them snapped and Tai kicked Kladerprus away, into the wall. They both got to their feet, glared at each other, rushed towards each other.

Tai's fist collided with Emperor Kladerprus' cheek, Kladerprus' fist collided with Tai's armored stomach. Hot air pushed Tai backwards, Kladerprus flew through the air again. Seven minutes. It'd take him three to run back. Kladerprus was behind him, tried to grab him, but Tai ducked, kicked, but the Emperor was gone again. The nymph was tugging at the chains, tried to break free and Kladerprus grabbed Tai's hand, twisted the already broken wrist and Tai fell to his knees, but managed to grab hold of the Emperor's leg, pulled him to the floor and quickly turned around, placed his foot on Kladerprus' chest. The earth shook again and Tai lost his footing, grabbed his sword without thinking and Kladerprus got to his feet behind Tai, moved towards him. Tai placed his fingers to his forehead.

”Teleportation!”

He reappeared next to the nymph, his sword cut through the chains and they fell to the floor. She grew, wings sprouted on her back and her arms grabbed Tai, her body melted into his. Kladerprus rushed towards him, five minutes, and Tai ducked under the fist, jumped away, almost flew over the floor, slid to the wall. He kicked away from it, propelled himself forward and The Emperor evaded. Tai turned in the air, his back hit the wall, his hand hit the floor. Green light danced around him and he gathered himself again, made a new rush towards Kladerprus, managed to grab him. Kladerprus tried to pull away, but Tai's eyes glowed green, roots sprouted from the floor, was burned to ashes, sprouted anew. Tai raised his sword, was about to let it fall down, but fifteen cloaked figures appeared, was just as quickly gone together with Kladerprus.

We have to hurry, the nymph's voice echoed inside Tai and he put the sword on his back again, ran out of the building. Three minutes. Wings sprouted on his back, lifted him from the ground, carried him over the threetops. Two minutes. They swooped towards the ground, her body melted from him again and he fell, she ran to Matt and he put his fingers to his forehead.

”Keep him safe.”

The world disappeared, a new one appeared. Ken looked at him, Joe looked at him. Books were spread out around them. Study session, Tai knew. Davis was there as well, he didn't have time to question it. Joe was at his side before he could say anything, held a hand agains Tai's broken wrist.

”Heal.”

Tai winced as the bones rearranged themselves, grew together again, then he nodded towards Joe, towards Ken.

”Matt.”

He didn't need to say more. Ken was out of the bed, grabbed both Tai and Joe and Joe's bedroom disappeared again, they were back by Matt's side. Tai fell to his knees, watched as Ken and Joe rushed to Matt's side, to the nymph. He could hear their voices, their worry. Joe shook his head and Tai knew, understood. Joe couldn't help. It was too late, Matt wouldn't make it. He buried his face in his hands, his body shook, he was so tired, he had tried to be quick, had tried to make everything right, but Emperor Kladerprus had gotten away and Matt was going to die and the planet had gotten turned into a field of lava. There was a poof and Tai looked up again, Matt was gone, Joe was gone, Ken looked at him, the nymph looked at Ken and Tai's hands fell to his knees.

”...Matt?” he asked.

His voice was unstable and Ken got that weirdly stern look on his face, that was never meant for anyone in the group but looked like it could kill someone.

”Joe took him to Kandrakar. They have stronger magic there.”

Ken let out a sigh, pulled his fingers through his hair and turned to Tai. Tai felt his evolution disappear, leaving him in his regular body, his regular clothes and Ken sat down infront of him, nodded to the nymph, who disappeared, before he turned to Tai again.

”Now, tell me what happened.”

#english #fanfic #digimon #W.I.T.C.H #genre: adventure #genre: fantasy #rating: teen #character: yamato ishida #character: taichi yagami #character: emperor kladerprus #series: sailors

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