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luckydog251616 · 5 months

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Up all Night (Akitoya fanfic in honor of my insomnia haha)

||heyyyy guys! I decided to say screw sleep, and I am now doing a fic instead! Is it going to be me projecting a little? Yeah, definitely. Based of a song? Yep! (Up all night - Straykids) I do hope y’all enjoy and if you’re going through something similar, just know you aren’t alone. Also, this one is a hurt with no comfort for my angst lovers out there ;)||

It was another restless night for Akito. With headphones in, playing the same song on loop, Toya sleeping beside him. The faint glow of the computer lit up the otherwise pitch black room. The faint sound of typing also filled the room with the occasional sound of a car zooming by.

Akito often found it extremely difficult to rest, even though his tired body begged for it. Perhaps it was the caffeine he consumes daily is the issue? Either way, all he thought about was to create. Create something, leave behind something to be remembered by. Something for someone, anyone, to be proud of. Akito continued to type, tired olive-green eyes glued to the computer screen on his lap. Hours passed, before he knew it, he reached 4 am. No sign of sleep. “Akito?” A voice called out, sleepy and concerned nevertheless. Akito, snapping out of his trance, looked at the source of the voice. It was Toya, looking at Akito with concern etched on his face. His face…so beautiful…so hand- “Akito?” He calls out again, causing Akito to snap out of his train of thought, responding gruffly with a “Hm?” “Why are you awake? I’m not mad, I’m just concerned…” The blue haired male asked his partner. “I…got carried away” Akito confesses. “Akito…” “Yeah, I know…I can’t sleep” Akito responds with a sigh. “I’ll go back to sleep” The ginger says, a part of him hating himself for lying to his lover. Toya thought nothing of it, going back to sleep. Akito ended up working the rest of the night.

“I need to sleep…”

#lucky 🐾#akitoya #angst no comfort #i love angst #i’m sleepy #spelling errors #probably?#save my sanity #We die like my mental health

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uraniumnm333 · 11 months

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HI. HELLO. YES IT'S ME THE FA AU POLYSHO PERSON. it's funny because olysho's like a small amount of the au. like the main character is ichika. and the main ship is ichihona. so silly right all this chaos is going down.

miku is an actual existing character here because i love the virtual singer they need to be added in more fantasy aus for god's sake and not just the humans. her design is the sakura cherry tree 1.5 colorfes card! her hair used to be blue but she dyed it and her eyes are always closed. she's a mysterious magic lady that is probably the narrator idk haven't figured that out yet *CUES THE KAGAMINE TWINS THAT BOTH PINE OVER HER* yeah she saved the two from dying lolololol

yeah, rui sorta made a fancy potion allowing nene to walk on land. along with other mermaids. aka luka lolz!!! the reason he was able to cure saki is because he practically did all the work before,, he saved luka from dying.

KAITO WHITE DAY MEIKO AN WEDDING SHOOT THING KAIMEI KAIMEI KAIMEI KAIMEI KA- (i am so normal about them)

ACTUAL summary of the main plot is: there are two kingdoms. one in the mountains cold brrr (aoyagi kingdom), and the other not cold near the ground (tenma kingdom). they r in war. they were always fighting but like a cold war (pun intended). BUT when the tenmas took toya from the aoyagis (AS DESERVED) they started actually being in war yeah. ichika used to live in the mountains under the aoyagi's rule but she ran away lolololz!!! and then met honami, a girl who lived alone. she was a girl she was a girl this lesbian story will change your perception of love.

also akitoya but akito almost dies (WHY DO THE BOYFRIENDS KEEP ON ALMOST DYING HELP) (it's aoyagi harumichi's fault) (well only for akito's almost death) (rui just got poisoned lololol!!!)

mafuyu finds her true self having to take care of both this knight that got stabbed and this magic alchemist dude that might've gotten himself in a jiffy. kanade is a reseacher for the knights. ena cursed herself and now has horns. mizuki is a knight. they cause chaos occasionally

minoharu canon, we all die, so much lore, sorry for ranting about the sillies again.

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT ????

Mafuyu watching Tsukasa Rui Emu and nene pine is so goofy,,, but on the other hand they’re all so endearing to him,,, he’s so happy when they all finally get together it’s so silly,,,

ICHIKA AND HONAMI CHANGING MY PERCEPTION OF LOVE FORWVER AND EVER !!! I’d like to think Saki is like. Seventh wheeling at this point. She’s gotta see Tsukasa and the gang, toya and akito, ichika and honami, whatever the hell Mafuyu is doing w his self-discovery, ect ect ect. She is going CRAZY !!!

minoharu being the token “we have our shit together” couple is so funny to me. War and violence and then BAM !!! Lesbians

also akito and toya !!! Akito originally only saving toya bc “well it’s orders and Tsukasa wants him saved so *shrug*” to “he’s actually kind of growing on me” to “I would lay down my life for this man.” All while toya is doing his little silly thing

ALSO YOU DIDNT MENTION THEM BUT AN AND KOHANE ??? I’d like to think they also have their own “love but we can’t” vibe where the both of them are from rival families in the tenma kingdom and m. Boom. Lower one’s eyes moment and they just start dancing in the ballroom. Everyone learns love is love 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Kaimei in the background is so silly to me like they’re trying to help all these children and they’re also in love *explosion*

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ticklish-n-stuff · 2 years

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So, I just saw that requests are open so here I am. Can you write something for akitoya (pjsk)? lee toya & ler akito. have a good day/night~

Tickletober day 17: Games/Drawn on

I can and will always write for AkiToya

We love AkiToya in this household 💖

Hope you enjoy and have a good day!

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Akito x Toya (romantic)

Lee: Toya

Ler: Akito

Warnings: Tickles!

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The boys were currently hanging out at the Shinonome household, completely bored out of their minds. Luckily for them, Akito thought of a silly little game for them to play. Although Toya was oblivious of his true intentions. The bicolored haired male was found seated at the foot of the bed, with Akito right behind him.

"Alright, now you gotta guess what I'm gonna draw on your back. You ready?".

Toya nodded his head. With a mischevious smirk, Akito started to lightly drag his index finger along his boyfriend's back.

"Ah-!" a soft gasp escaped Toya as he lightly arched his back away from that evil finger, he didn't think that it would tickle this badly.

"Something wrong, Toya~?" Akito playfully whispered into his ear, making Toya turtle in as a few soft giggles made their way out of him.

"I-Ihit tickles..!" Oh Toya, always too honest and pure for his own good.

Akito couldn't help but chuckle at that "Well you still gotta guess what I'm drawing, so I'll go again~". This time the redhead swiped a nail down his partner's spine, making him shriek at the sudden tickly feeling. "So, any ideas~?".

"I don't knohow...!" Toya whined out, causing Akito's heart to explode right there and then from how cute his partner was. But that didn't stop him from messing with him.

"Oh c'mon, it's easy!" as a matter of fact, it was not easy to figure out considering that Akito was now just drawing random shapes and patterns all over Toya's back, making him fall into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

"Gyahahaha! I-I feHEhel like you're meheHEssing with mehehe!".

Akito mocked gasped, trying to look offended by the accussation. But his faccade quickly faded away as a dorky smile took over his face "So what if I am? What're you gonna do about it, huh~?" he taunted as he playfully wiggled his fingers along his partner's sides.

"Gah!! Ahahahaha! A-Akitohoho!" Toya fell into a fit of laughter, leaning against Akito's shoulder as he laughed all freely, not doing anything to stop him. Akito only smiled at him in endearment as he kept tickling him. Enjoying the cute expression he wore. Such a precious boyfriend he had, and silly Akito always messing with him. Oh well, not like Toya minds~.

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Idk what to do for the end, but I hope you still like it :]

#project sekai #colorful stage #tickle fic #project sekai tickle #project sekai tickle fic #colorful stage tickle #colorful stage tickle fic #akito shinonome #toya aoyagi #lee!toya #ler!akito #akitoya #tickletober 2022

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chiricat · 2 years

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🌻!

#anhane #vivid bad squad #vbs #colorful stage #prsk fa #project sekai #prsk #cat’s art #an shiraishi #kohane azusawa #i am never gonna speedrun art again my god trying this felt like 16 espresso shots #anyways I WILL BE COMING BACK TO THESE CARDS FOR AKITOYA…

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anzynai · 2 years

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hey… requests are open so I am RUNNING to ur requests because my wife writes the best fics

pls write something for Akito and Ena because they constantly cloud my mind, it’d be so cute if it were about ena giving akito relationship advice or trying to find out who her lil brother likes<33 (COUGH COUGH TOYA)

I love you so very much mwah mwah mwah

Akito’s Crush

Ena and Akito Shinonome (Project Sekai)

a/n: ANGIE…. thank you. so much. for sending this ask. these two losers have been all i think about lately and i can’t stop thinking about how cute they are as siblings. i absolutely adore their dynamic and i rlly liked being able to write for them again. plus it’s my birthday so yk gotta treat myself!!!anyways i hope you enjoy!!

summary: when ena learns her brother has a crush, she’s determined to find out who it is. (read as platonic ONLY)

warnings: familial tickles, implied akitoya, not beta read

word count: 1.6k

———

“This is the last time I’m helping you with shopping.” Akito grumbled, glaring down at the bags Ena had forced him to carry for her.

“Yeah, yeah. Just help me out.” Ena rolled her eyes, not taking his statement seriously. He acted like this every time yet she would always manage to drag him out on her shopping trips. Akito clicked his tongue.

They were close to their home anyway. Not much longer until he could have some peace. Toya and him were planning to meet in the Sekai so that they could practice. They were performing a duet at the Live House, and while it wasn’t unusual for them to do so, Akito had suggested they make some adjustments and perfect some of the parts they’ve been struggling on.

“Say.. Akito.” Ena began, snapping her brother out of his reverie. He hummed, to show that he had heard and for her to continue. “You’ve been happier lately, you know?”

Akito was a little shocked to say the least. Had he really been that obvious? It was true that he was feeling a little more light recently but he hadn’t expected Ena to notice.

“You don’t have to act so surprised!” Ena pouted, crossing her arms. “It’s my duty as a big sister to pay attention to things like this.”

“Oh.”

“That’s how you’re going to respond? Come on, give me something here!” Ena squinted at him as if looking into his soul. Akito would be lying if the intense staring didn’t make him feel a little squeamish as he averted his eyes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say…” Akito mumbled, sighing in relief since they had finally made it to their house. Ena moved forward and he took a step back to make sure he wasn’t in her way.

“Hm.. perhaps.. are you in a relationship?” Ena wondered, thoughtlessly as she unlocked the doors. Akito flinched as a rosy blush blossomed on his cheeks. It wasn’t the question, per say, that made the boy blush, but it was who came to mind when she asked it.

“No, I’m not.” He said, keeping his voice as neutral as possible but he felt it waver at the end. It wasn’t as if he was lying. It’s true that he and Toya weren’t dating.. but he didn’t know if he could call what they were now just friendship. As soon as she pushed the door open, he dashed inside, dropping the bags on the living room floor.

Ena followed after him, shocked that he had run away. “Hey! That reaction is suspicious? Why are you so flustered?”

“I’m not flustered!” Akito shouted, keeping his eyes on his bedroom. He hoped that he could get in there and escape his sister.

“You are dating someone, aren’t you?! Who is it?” Ena pressed on, curious to know who it was who had stolen her little brother’s heart.

“No one.” He murmured as he made his way into his room. Before he could shut his door, though, Ena had slid her way in.

“Come on, tell your big sister~” Ena smiled, sweetly. Except Akito knew it was anything but sweet. He opted for ignoring her because she would have to get bored eventually, right? He sat down on his bed, scrolling through his phone, trying his best to hide his grin at Ena’s annoyed expression. “Who is it~?” She continued, poking him in the side to get his attention.

Neither of them expected the squeak that left Akito’s lips. She paused, seemingly processing what she had done before a mischievous smirk had fallen onto her face. Before he could do anything, she had already pounced on him, squeezing his sides. He cursed himself for letting today be the one day he wore a t-shirt and a thin jacket compared to the thick hoodies he would usually wear. Surely, they would have provided more protection against Ena’s tickling fingers better than this!

“F-fuhuhuck off..” He whispered, trying to hold his reactions in. While Ena knew he was ticklish, the absolute last thing he wanted to do was talk about… feelings with her of all people. Sure, he knew he would have to talk to someone about his long-time crush on his partner but he would have to be crazy before he would admit it.

“Who’s the one who’s making my brother blush so much?” Ena asked, kneading her fingers between his sides and hips.

“Nohohoho ohohone!” Akito cried when he found he unable to hold his giggles in any longer. He tried prying Ena’s hands from his torso but his arms felt like jelly.

“That’s a lie and you know it!” Ena half-heartedly glared at her brother, deciding now would be a good time to get into a more secure spot so he couldn’t knock her off the bed. She moved towards the middle of his bed—which was fairly large, sitting on his legs.

“Ehehehehena! Dahahahamit, stahahap!” Akito pounded his fists on the bed when Ena decided to scratch at his tummy, noting how his laughter had significantly rose. It had been one of his bad spots since they were young and Ena had never been shy to exploit that knowledge. She had recently gotten her nails done with Mizuki, which she knew would drive Akito crazy.

“Come on~ you know what you have to do to make this all stop.” Ena laughed as her finger danced around his navel. Teasingly and slow, almost torturous for the male.

“Nohohoho, gehehehet awahahahay f-from mehehehe!” Akito shrieked, trying to twist away. He kicked his legs but they didn’t really go anywhere since she was sitting on them.

“Tickle, Tickle~ Honestly, Akito, you’re so ticklish I’m surprised you’re still not giving up.” Ena teased, relishing in how she had successfully made her brother more flustered than he already was. “Well, I guess I could understand it. You’ve always been a stubborn boy.”

“S-shuhuhuhut uhuhuhup!” He spat, trying to send her a glare but with the redness of his cheeks and the smile on his face, it didn’t look at all threatening.

“So rude~ I’ve been so kind to you, I haven’t even gone for your worst spot.” Ena rolled her eyes, causing Akito’s own eyes to widen frantically when he had realized he had just dug his own grave.

“Dohohon’t y-yohohou dahaHAHAHARE- wahAHAHAIT!” Akito squealed— yes, squealed, embarrassingly high pitched as Ena reached to poke and squeeze his thighs. The thighs. They had always been a god awful spot for him that even Toya was kind enough to give him enough mercy to not tickle them there most of the time.

“You did this to yourself, Akito. You know, I’ll stop if you just tell me who you’re in love with!” Ena reminded him, luckily, because he was going crazy and any longer, he might’ve forgotten what got him into this mess in the first place.

“NAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO EHEHEHENA!!” Hysterical giggles poured from the male’s mouth as his shook with laughter. He was beginning to feel almost light headed from laughing too much and his face felt sore. Without any pride left, he shouted, “IHIHITS TOHOHOYA!”

As promised, Ena stopped tickling her brother immediately. She barely gave him any time to recover from his near-death experience (which was definitely not exaggerated) before she spoke up.

“Toya, huh?” She smiled, content with herself. She scratched her chin as she gave him some thought. “I guess it does make sense.”

“Makes sense?” Akito questioned.

“I’ve never seen your emotions so open with anyone else but him.” She replied, as Akito pondered that. Was that true? He never really noticed but perhaps it was because he was too busy pining.

Ena spoke again before he could. “Are you going to confess?”

“No way.” He said, gruffly as if it was odd for her to even ask such a question in the first place. To be honest, he had always given the idea of confessing some thought, he always been too afraid to.

“Ehhh, why? You’ve definitely got a chance!” Ena rested her chin to her head as she scooted to sit beside Akito. Akito turned to her.

“Really?” He asked, though he felt he may have sounded too excited. He coughed, awkwardly.

“I always thought so. I think you should give it a shot.” Ena giggled, waiting for whatever Akito would say next. He yawned; the tickling really had done a number on him.

“Mm.” He hummed, not quite ready to reveal that he thought there would be no way someone like Toya could ever reciprocate his feelings.

“Well, I’m tired.” Ena broke the silence after it had been a couple of minutes. She stood up, stretching. It wasn’t too late but she had been shopping all day so she decided it would be nice to take a nap. Akito said nothing in response as Ena made her way to the door. He picked up his phone before Ena turned around. “Oh, and Akito,” He looked up. “If you do decide to confess and something happens, I’ll be here for you, you know.”

With that, she left and if ever asked about that night again, Akito would never say that he smiled upon hearing that.

——

A week later, when Ena saw Toya and Akito holding hands, she sent him a knowing smile. Akito didn’t exactly reciprocate it but he expressed enough that she had played some hand in it.

The moment was over when Ena started making kissy faces, never wanting to miss an opportunity to tease her younger brother, to which he promptly flipped her off. She only laughed but she couldn’t help but be proud of her brother.

#akito shinonome #ena shinonome #shinonome siblings #tickling #tickle fic #project sekai #proseka #pjsekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #colorful stage #ticklish!akito #lee!akito #ler!ena #jai’s fic

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mizs-fandom-hell · 4 months

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Hi there! You stumbled upon Miz's multifandom blog :3c

I am mostly here for Milgram and Project sekai stuff but you'll find other things too <3

My askbox is always open if you're curious about something and I love asks :3 (rizzing you up in a cringe and fail kind of way - PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE <3)

Putting fandom specific summaries under the cut cuz it got pretty long already :3c

Muu defender, 0104 shipper and Mahiru guilty voter, not sorry :3

~ Milgram ~

I simp for one man and that one is Mikoto (I like John too but in the way you adopt a wet dog on the street :3 /pos)

Haruka Sakurai is me frfr but also Kotoko is too relatable :3

Other liked ships: 0210, 0309, 0909

~ Puroseka ~

EN seasoned player, currently on hiatus on the game

#1 Akito Hater in-game name :3

(I am normal about him)

Faves: Akito (duh), Mafuyu, Tsukasa, Mizuki, An, Airi, Emu, Rui

Fav ships: AkiAn(!!), AkiToya, MizuRui, MafuEna, MafuMizu, MizuEna, MafuEmu, EmuKasa, AnHane, MizuAn, MafuKasa

Which prsk group would you be a member of? VBS

Leo/mid I'm too old for a school band story 😔 (I love the covers though)

First event: Mermaid Admiration

Event you're waiting for: Our escape for survival (Mafuyu will be mine)

Highest tier: T139 (Power of Unity) (never again) (maybe)

~ Vocaloid / Vsynths ~

It's been ten years you can't escape your vocaloid phase

First song: pretty sure it was Dancing Samurai

Fav producers: MARETU, Kairikibear, Guchiry, Cosmo@/BusouP, Yuyoyuppe, ZetsubouP, Giga

Fav vbs: Kagamine Rin+Len, GUMI, VFlower, Otomachi Una, KAFU, Natsuki Karin, Megurine Luka, Kaai Yuki

#milgram

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slightlytoastedbagel · 7 months

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top 5 project sekai covers?

Like with the commissions this is a top 10 just because.

10. Lonely Universe

MinoHaru... The line "Ever since I was able to meet you" alone makes this a great cover, but I love them so much it gets boosted all the way to here. I feel like this cover isn't as well known so please I am begging everyone to listen to it because it's gorgeous.

9. When The Morning Glory Falls

HONAMI MOCHIZUKI HAS THE MOST UNDERRATED VOICE IN THE GAME AND THIS COVER PROVES IT. She is stunning. Her alt vocal should just come free with the original song in game. The IchiHona duet with Miku is also good though.

8. MKDR

Why the hell did it take almost two years for KanaEna to get to sing together? Every other Nightcord duo had gotten a song very quickly into the game but they had to wait forever, and when they finally do they knock it out of the park. Their alt vocals for this song are also amazing. I was so happy to see this song get a 2DMV a few weeks ago.

7. Shanti

They let KAITO sing with people other than AkiToya for once and he unleashed one of the biggest bangers ever. Everyone was on point in this cover. Toya's rap is the part everyone likes to bring up but I'm also bringing it up because it IS just that good.

6. Ego Rock

I listen to this cover too much to admit. The entire thing is just very WxS-esque to me. I wish we could get an alt for any of them just because I think hearing one of them swear would be funny. Tsukasa has already gotten to swear let him do it again. Or maybe let Nene I think she should be allowed to.

5. Gehanna

MizuEna. Everytime Mizuki and Ena have sung together it's just been improvement on top of improvement. The fact we're likely getting another soon as KanaMafu have now hit 4 covers as well has excited me. There's also this sort of build in power throughout the song and it's just great.

4. YY

"What if we let AkiToya sing a fun song for once?" is what I'm assuming someone asked which led to the creation of this beautiful cover. They're all having so much fun you can hear it in their voices. Akito's high note in the chorus as well. An got an alt vocal for this just recently and while I haven't been able to listen to it fully I know I'll love it. Can we get a 33.exe commission at some point? Please?? Or maybe YY full???

3. From Y to Y

Leo/Need you will always be famous to me. I almost want to tear up every time I hear Saki open into the final chorus in the full version. L/N tend to fall into the pattern of Ichika and whichever vocaloid is there singing for the majority of the song, while this is no different I feel that Ichika and Miku singing the most adds to the song when considering the lyrics. It's just a beautiful cover.

2. Melty Land Nightmare

What if you had an idol group with two girls associated with blue, one with pink and one with brown and decided they should sing a song with the two main characters of said song being coloured blue and pink respectively. This entire cover is genius. MinoAiri and ShizuHaru singing seperately the entire time feeds into the idea that the former two are playing the role of Melty and the latter two the role of the blue girl. Miku is used amazingly to add a sense of mystery to the Melty Land. We need more Harumaki Gohan in game.

1. Alter Ego

BEAUTIFUL STUNNING MAGNIFICENT MUSIC PEAKED RIGHT HERE. I love everything about this cover. The use of the different duos within VBS (AkiKoha and AnToya in the verses and AkiAn and ToyaKoha in the chorus plus the single line for AkiToya and AnHane) is just perfect. The use of Miku as mostly backing vocals is perfect. The way everyone is singing at the end is PERFECT. It's powerful it's Vivid Bad Squad at it's peak it's everything I could ask for.

#project sekai #bagel answers

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chichiwritez · 1 year

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My Partner's A Mic Stand

It is a quiet night in the Sekai. Perhaps that silence is exactly what Toya needs. Let him mourn quietly. This one has been in my drafts since June of last year, so I've decided it's time to finally let this bad boy out into the wild! I'll probably crosspost this on Ao3! Rating: General Audiences Pairing: Meiko & Toya, Unrequited Akitoya

He hears it all first, hears the soft jazz with the whirr of the coffee machine, hears the shuffling of a pair of footsteps the entire group had gotten familiar with, hears the knowing sigh that comes from their lips.

He can feel it too, the sombre air in the usually lively cafe, feel the moon shine through the windows in a delicate caress, feel that empty ache reverberate into his bones.

It is sympathetic.

"Hello, Toya." She says, her voice softer, her words filled with this underlying sense of I know and unadulterated understanding. She’s always been good at this, easily slipping into the role of a caretaker, a shoulder to cry on, a tether to reality.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

No. That's the most obvious answer. He doesn't want to talk about him, at 25, utterly ruined and mussed by something out of his control. No. He does not want to bare himself to her, knowing once he starts talking everything he had wanted to be left unsaid with spill out, and it will be real. The world will acknowledge it in its entirety, and Toya will feel alone.

But also, it’s yes. He wants to talk about it because he feels horrible keeping it all to himself. All the selfish daydreaming, all the unrequited frustration, every single flutter and smile catalogued. It is the preservation of happy memories, the memoirs of a fool's heart. Yes. He wants to talk about it because all Toya has ever done was want and want and want in vain, as if the yearning would suffice.

As if his longing could be enough.

So, Toya avoids looking at her, opting to walk towards the stool nearest the counter with his head glued to his sock-covered feet. He probably looked a mess, unpresentable in his state, like a bumbling teen ridden by pent-up angst. A rage without an outlet, bubbling until it pours over and consumes him completely.

Toya can feel Meiko's eyes on him for a while longer, though he’s still refusing to make eye contact. He knows that her eyes reflect worry, and maybe even pity, and it's all the more reason for him to not look her way. It's as if she was gauging him for his reaction, gauging the depth of this—because there is no proper word to describe what Toya is feeling but a flimsy tacked-on this—and the toll it's put on him.

"Well then, you don't have to, but at least have this. You've probably gone the whole day without filling your stomach with something." She gently shuffles away from the counter, returning with a cup of comfortingly warm coffee, and a plate of cookies.

Toya puts his head up, and finally meets her gaze. He's right about the worry, but there's more to it. He finds himself under the gaze of an empath, as if she can see through the wreckage of his heart. He finds himself rooted in place because it hits him that there was nothing he could hide from Meiko, because her concerned gaze speaks volumes. It's the way she breathes in I understand and breathes out I am here.

Toya quivers.

"I felt it.” Meiko murmurs, sliding the cup towards Toya. “I felt what happened at that moment because your mics flickered away.”

Toya scans Crase Café, his eyes landing on the table, before returning to Meiko, and her gaze held nothing but concern and something akin to motherly affection even after Toya had grown out of his hoodies and statement tees. In this cafe, where nothing but the silence of the Sekai, the quiet whirr of the coffee machine, the wafting scent of sugar cookies, and the suit that feels too stuffy and small, Toya feel like a bumbling teen all over again.

He sees the mics, the usual pair now a singular one.

“I feel horrible,” Toya whispers, he says it like a eulogy, a wake. It is mourning for someone that isn’t dead, mourning for an idea held together by glue. The first words that leave his lips are visceral, a deep-seated ache.

“I should be happy, obviously. If I really did love him, then I’d be happy he was loved at all, even if that someone isn’t me. But…” He declares it, to the world, to the quiet of the Sekai. He knows, he is aware. He has loved for too long and has been loved back little. He feels a pit form in his stomach, a bottomless ravine that craves more than what he can have. He feels ungrateful.

“I’ve always ever wanted him. It was that or nothing else.”

Selfish. How selfish of him to want more.

He had always loved Akito, content to simply be by his side. He took joy in his company, and that was all Toya should want.

Should. Because Akito is happy, and that is all that matters. Because Akito is still his friend and most trusted partner. Because Akito is, well, Akito. Akito is confident and permanent, he is a constant, unchanging even as the years of double-layered hoodies and baggy jeans bled into loosely fitted polos with unkempt collars and simple shirts.

It is should because it can’t be could, because could implies that he was satisfied with nothing more than just that. As if the ravenous longing hadn’t grown and festered into something he could barely control. As if it hadn’t turned everything inside into a heedless desire.

Because neither should nor could is enough.

In a fantasy, in a whim driven by heart, there are no uncertainties. There is only loving and affectionate idiosyncrasy and a solid, unmoving too. I love you too. I long for you too. I want you too.

Requited. It is a beautiful word, a sweet dream, a fleeting memory.

“I don’t think its selfish to want to be loved.” Meiko supplies. “We give many parts of ourselves in loving, in that regard, it is selfless. You could even say its compassionate.”

“But love only turns selfish when you force that love onto someone else. Not once did you ever do that, right, Toya?”

Toya shakes his head. No. Never, he couldn’t. He wanted and yearned but he had always ever done that in silence. When the bustle of the day makes way for quiet moments between them, cans in their hands and an entire landscape to survey. When they’re tired and the warmth emanating from Akito creeps up his spine and gently reminds him of how absolutely lovely it is to be with him. When they’re aimless, and the only thing Toya can do is watch where Akito’s gaze lands, and finds himself wholly floored by it.

“Still, it hurts,” Toya replies. “Shouldn’t that count for something?”

Meiko gives him a sad smile. “I think you’ve loved enough for it to hurt, and I think that’s simply you being hard on yourself.”

Toya sighs. “Maybe.” He looks down at his now empty plate. Huh. When had he begun eating?

Meiko shoots him a look. It says are you tired? It says we can stop here if you’d like. It says I can wait until you’re ready.

“Want more cookies?” An olive branch. She can take some cookies she left in the back, and give Toya a few minutes to stew to himself. It is where it could end, and Meiko will never divulge whatever they’ve talked about here, on this rather lonely night in Crase Café. It is a parting.

“No, I’m good. I’ll take some coffee though.” He points to the pot on the coffee machine. It’s only a step away from where Meiko is perched.

That is his response. It’s an I want to stay a little while longer. It’s an I enjoy the company you give me.

It’s a thank you.

The mic remains solitary on the table.

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