#i can barely cary my own backpack
Text
Beyond the Hollows [Week 3]
Read Another Part:
[One] [Two] [Three] [Four]
_________________
There’s a ringing in her ears and Sae has to blink her eyes a few times to free herself of the haze clouding her vision. As a sharp pain twinges in her back, the young woman exhales and it all comes flooding back.
“Sae!” The voice is frantic as small hands try to shake her back into the present situation at hand.
With luck, during their backwards descent down the stairs, Sae had managed to pull Cari ontop of her and so the child is relatively unscathed from the fall. Though, clearly more than a little frightened by it.
“You okay?” She huffs out, still refusing to move.
Cari nods her head, before something hits her and her eyes open wide in fear. “Sae, you’re bleeding!”
If the pain of falling backwards down a flight of stairs and landing on her back somewhere between the second and third step with a fifty pound child landing on top of you has rendered Sae immobile... Hearing that she’s bleeding springs her back into action.
She scrambles to her knees on the stairs, pain shooting at her from all directions. Sae ignores them though, her hands quickly and desperately moving over her body until she can find the blood.
A scrape on her right arm, likely from the staircase railing. It’s big and bleeding quite a bit for a scrape, but it’s only a flesh wound... It isn’t a bite.
Sae breathes a sigh of relief.
She doesn’t know much about what’s going on, but she used to be a pretty avid horror movie fan and judging by what she’s seen, these ‘creatures’ are zombies. What she knows about zombies is simple...
If you get bitten, you die.
Kate and Martin have proved that, so while a scrape can be inconvenient - It’s better than the alternative.
A growl from the staircase above them snaps Sae’s eyes to the fire exit door that she just slammed. She can see Kate’s face in the window, which hurts more than the fall down the stairs did, but it appears that the woman can’t figure out how to open the door in order to shamble after them.
It’s a relief, but not much of one as another growl can be heard. She clues in that it’s probably coming from the third floor, the door might be open up there and their fall down the staircase was less than graceful.
“I’m okay.” She says finally, turning to look at Cari who is still staring at her in terror. “Look,” Sae shows her arm to the eight year old. “It’s just a scrape.”
The child still trembles wordlessly, tears pooling in her eyes as she continues to stare where Sae is hurt.
It’s like she’s frozen in time. Sae can see as the shock sets in for the little girl, and so she takes her hands gently. “I promise you, I’m okay, it’s not a bite.”
Sae doesn’t make a move to get off the ground, she instead keeps looking at Cari, the girl uninjured but obviously very shaken up. Her eyes dart over the little girl, just to make sure that she is indeed not injured, but then the growl turns into a dragging sound and Sae can tell that whatever’s up there, is trying to come down the stairs after them.
“We need to leave now, okay?” Sae tries to tell her as softly as possible, despite the fact that her heart is racing in her chest. “We’re going to go try and look for your car, maybe Curtis hasn’t found it yet?”
At this, Cari finally moves, shaking her head. “Daddy.” She whispers. “We can’t leave without my Daddy.”
Sae’s heart hurts. “He can’t come with us.”
“I’m not leaving without my Daddy.” Cari repeats, firm on her stance. The demand is only just a whisper, but it still shakes Sae to the core. She doesn’t need this.
For a second, her mind wanders.
It would be so much easier on her own. Sae wouldn’t have to worry about taking care of anyone, she can really go much faster without a child slowing her down. She could even find Curtis, maybe, he’s the only family she has left and he’s strong, he’s smart, he’ll take care of her as long as she listens to him.
The only question is can she live with this on her conscience? Leaving an innocent child to die, or worse. Can she handle being THAT person, who only worries about themselves and sacrifices others?
The answer is no.
“Sweetheart, I understand that you want your Daddy, but he just can’t come with us...” She tries to explain it as gently (and quickly) as she can. “Same with my sister, I want my big sister to come with us more than anything, but she just... they just can’t, okay?”
The tears in Cari’s eyes roll down her cheeks leaving streaks. “We won’t ever see them again, will we?”
“No...” Sae confirms. “But I’m going to take care of you until we find somewhere safe though, I promise.”
The dragging turns into a thudding as the zombie above them begins his shuffled descent downwards.
“We need to get out of here.” Sae repeats, and this time Cari nods, her fists wiping her tears away before she holds out a hand to help the older woman up.
Sae struggles to her feet, even with help from the eight year old, her body screaming at her in pain.
She eventually makes it though, dusting both her and Cari off in the process and collecting the backpack that flung off of Cari as the girls had fallen.
“I think our snacks might be a bit squished...” Cari says softly, pulling the bag back on as Sae hands it to her.
“That’s okay.” Sae offers her a hand. “Still edible.”
The girls hold hands as they move down the rest of the stairs quickly, and quickly make their way outside of the building and into the morning sun.
If inside is bad, then outside is worse.
Bodies litter the pavement, maroon seeping into the smooth gray stone, evidence that some people had tried to escape earlier. Tried and didn’t make it.
Cars have been beaten down; bumpers dented and windshields cracked as desperation clearly had settled in and survivors attempted to break into vehicles in order to escape from the resort.
Sae sees a car stopped in the middle of the parking lot only about fifteen feet from them, the windows are all broken and blood stains the glass. If it wasn’t obvious that something - or someone - was pulled out of the car by the rips of fabric snagged on the glass... The half a torso underneath is a clear indicator.
Sae lets out a gasp and pulls Cari against her once more. She tries to shield the little girls eyes but a cry means that it’s too late. “It’s okay, don’t look Caroline.”
“Cari.” She whimpers. “Everyone calls me Cari.”
“Okay Cari,” Sae breathes out. “I respect that, my name is Sarah but everyone calls me-”
“Sae.” Cari interrupts.
“Yeah. It’s a nickname that my Dad gave me.” Sae keeps the girl talking as they move away from the wreck, looking for the SUV, and possibly Curtis.
“Cari, do you know where your Dad’s van is? Do you remember where you parked when you got here?”
“I think so, I think we parked...” Cari trails off.
Sae finds herself staring at the stone wall that surrounds the resort, the pretty cobblestone she had admired on the way in is now full of scratch marks from people (she hopes) trying and failing to get out.
As she stares, she doesn’t notice that something else has peaked Cari’s interest, not until a sharp cry of “Sae! It’s Daddy’s van!” breaks her concentration.
She turns her head and her heart stills in her chest.
It’s crashed... Into part of the resort fence gate, bending the wire frame backwards and popping open whatever lock was on it so that the other side swings free. First thought that pops into her head is -
“Curtis!”
She breaks into a sprint, running at the smoking vehicle as fast as she can until she’s at the front and ripping the driver’s side door open to find him.
It’s empty.
The driver side door is empty and undisturbed other than the airbag that was deployed. There’s no blood, no carnage, no hint that he was dragged out of the vehicle or that anything bad had happened to him other than crashing the vehicle.
As she stares at the way the car has wrecked, Sae starts to think that maybe it was on purpose. That he smashed the car into the gates to break them open, to make it so that he had a way out of the resort.
It’s brilliant, other than the fact that he left the car.
Why would he crash into the gate knowing that it would total the car and make it so that he had to walk from that point on? That seems exactly like what happened, judging by how big the gap is where the other gate has swung open. It’s big enough that another car could fit through, much less a huma-
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!
It hits Sae even before she can see the chips of blue paint along the broken spires of the busted gate.
“Curtis you didn’t...” She murmurs as she turns quickly, eyes peeled to see if she can spot her Honda. They parked close to the entrance so it should be right here... It should be right here, but it’s not.
Cari catches up to Sae, trying to peer around the older woman to see into the car as well, concerned for what or who she might find in the wreckage.
It’s what Sae and Cari don’t find that happens to be the much bigger issue for the two girls.
“My car...” The blonde whispers to herself in disbelief. “How the fuck did he take my car?”
Her eyes trail down to her wrist, still red from where Curtis had grabbed her and tried to get her to follow him. Her wrist, bare, when before her key had been looped around it with a hairtie for easy access.
“Goddammit!” She screams, unintentionally loud.
Cari just blinks at her, confused for a moment as Sae paces back and forth beside the van and mutters obscenities to herself. She’s mildly aware that screaming that loud, especially now is probably not a good idea to keep them from attracting everything in hearing range to their immediate location.
“Aren’t we getting out of here?” Cari’s voice wavers, watching as the body on the ground from the earlier wreck, the torso with only one arm and a head, looks up at the sound and begins crawling towards them.
Sae just shakes her head in defeat. “We can’t.” She murmurs. “Curtis wrecked your Dad’s van to get the gate open, then stole my car and used it to get out of here. That was probably his idea from the start.”
The sound of shuffling and groans from inside of the resort reaches Cari’s ears and she steps closer to Sae. “Couldn’t we walk? It’s better than being here.”
Sae catches on to the fact that they aren’t quite alone and so she nods. “Yeah, that’s a good idea, we’ll just follow this road into town and to a police station.”
Closing the van door, Sae pulls the gate towards them, allowing her and Cari to graze through before trying to shut the zombies out enough for the two of them to get a head start on whatever might be following them from the resort.
“It shouldn’t take too long, right?” Cari asks, cocking her head to the side as she stares down the abandoned road that connects the resort to a few of the more residential neighbourhoods. It’s a far way off, most of the trail is clear green grass and wooden advertisements to “Come again!” and “Remember Riverrock Resort for your Window to Niagara!”
Sae just grimaces. “It was about ten kilometres if I recall, so maybe a few hours, not too long at all.”
_________________
And so they walk. And they talk.
Cari talks about her Daddy. It makes her kind of sad, and they have to stop a few times so that Sae can give her a hug and brush away her tears, but the little girl talks about the kind of man he was.
She talks about the fact that it’s just been the two of them since Cari was four, that her Mother got sick and then one day just went away. Cari tells Sae he was a social worker, and that he threw himself into his work heart and soul. His determination to save others.
Sae can tell, the way that he put himself and his child at risk the night before, just to help Sae and Curtis.
Cari tells Sae her favourite colour, favourite animal and what kind of food she likes best. Sae encourages her to share all of the little information, anything she can think of, just to distract the child from the growing pit of worry in Sae’s stomach.
The worry that even after walking for over an hour, the road is disturbingly empty, void of any sign of life.
Sae shares with Cari too; how she was going to school to become a teacher, how her own Father passed away when she was younger than Cari, and all of the shenanigans that her and her sister used to get into.
Cari takes the same pauses that Sae does, moments where she stops walking and instead hugs the older woman, telling her that it’ll all be alright.
They leave the talk of zombies back at the resort, along with the shambling monsters that have long since forgotten about Sae and Cari - especially after the two girls had disappeared from their sight.
They talk about school, about movies, about music and even a bit about places they’ve been to.
About an hour and fifty-six minutes into their walk (but hey, who’s counting) that they start to run into houses. The narrow resort road opens up to a neighbourhood and at first it’s just a few houses, some of them rather run-down looking, but it isn’t long before they get into suburbs.
Most of the homes look like they’ve been evacuated, or something; front doors are left swung open, lights turned off and cars are gone, deep tire tracks left in the dirt of front yards as if the people driving only cared about leaving as quickly as possible.
A chill runs down Sae’s spine. What if a rescue team did make their way through here, and the girls had missed it through the night... or even worse, if they had missed it during their walk from the resort.
Sae is halfway through trying to reassure both Cari and herself that they are going to just have to keep walking until they find someone when she spots someone moving through the front window of a house just down the street from them. “Look.”
Cari follows Sae’s pointer finger to the window, and the two girls can hardly contain their excitement as they practically run up to the house and begin to ring the doorbell beside the large wooden door that they’ve found.
The doorbell blares out louder than expected, and Sae winces like she’s been hit by how abrupt and intrusive the ‘playful’ musical tune is as it choruses down the porch and into the street.
The person in the window stops moving and freezes, their head turning to the window. Sae can’t see their face, but suspects that through the white lace curtains, the person might be able to see her, and so she stops to wave, her words spilling out of her mouth. “Hello? Hello, please, can you let us in... There’s something really bad happening out here, and we need help!” She can’t help as the words drop out of her, desperate yet awkward.
She feels a tugging on her arm and turns to look down at Cari, the girl looking up at her with wide eyes as she points across the street. Sae glances briefly, paling as she sees a zombie shambling out of the open door directly opposite of them.
They should have never rang the bell.
“Sae... Sae, there’s more!” Cari whimpers, looking around at the once thought to be abandoned street, now bustling with zombies that had been hidden in the dark only to get brought into the light by the hollow chiming of the bell.
“Oh shit.” Sae whispers as she turns instead to knocking, her fist rapping on the door quickly. “Please, please let us in! They heard us, and their coming!”
Slowly, one by one, the zombies take a step forward towards Cari and Sae. There has to be a half a dozen or more of the monsters, and as they shuffle closer and closer to the porch where Sae and Cari stand, her knocking becomes desperate and panicked. “Oh god, please, please help us! Please!” Sae cries out in fear.
The person in the window peers out from behind the curtain, the sheen of raven hair showing through the gaps in the curtain. Sae gestures at the window with a plea. “Please help us!” She screams out again, the zombies now varying states of halfway across the street and some even take their first steps onto the grass in the front yard of the house.
Cari ducks her head against Sae’s side and begins to whimper, her entire body trembling in fear as the chorus of groaning gets louder while the zombies begin to close in on them.
“Oh shit, oh shit.” Sae begins to cry as the zombies begin to ascend the front step of the porch.
She’s got her eyes wide as she sweeps the front porch, trying to figure out what the best way to escape is... At this point it’s clear that whomever is inside isn’t coming to their rescue anytime soon.
Sae is seconds away from shoving Cari towards the back of the porch and hoping they can climb over the side. She figures that they can drop down onto the ground and run like hell before anything is able to catch up with them.
Her mouth opens to tell Cari to run when she hears the door creak open behind her and an arm reaches out to pull her and Cari back through the opening.
#Beyond the Hollows#original content#original story#zombie saga#zombies#lesbian#lesbians#queer women#queer zombie saga#an Even Gayer Panic original#original series#tw: zombies#tw: slight gore#tw: death#original zombie story#zombie story
1 note
·
View note
Link
by Imperial-Radiance (aka me)
"Damn, I can't believe I haven't been ambushed, yet. It's a good thing I planned ahead because, whew, that's rough."
The day had finally come for one of the biggest games of the year - not the Championship and not Nationals, but the rivalry gridiron game of the season. Of course, it was all in fun, but the heat and intensity of all the fans were always at their peaks during these games, especially since the two schools were relatively close to each other.
Madeline, or Madi as her friends and family referred to her as such, had already had the experience of what these games were like, but she and the rest of the people there representing her Kingston University Royals were even more happily hyped as they demolished their rivals in score, and she wasn't even on the sidelines to see it.
Madi and her twin sister Caroline had been the best of friends since birth, and the only time they had ever separated in their lives was their choice of schools. Once diverged, their number of similarities decreased from there, but despite being away from each other, they maintained to share a few commonalities like major choice, clubs, GPA, and more. However, the one main difference that had resulted in Madi running in a panic right to her sister in the middle of the game was Cari's sudden relapse.
Read more on DA, or...
She was so relieved that her coach was so understanding to let her go and care for her, but the time it took for Cari to return to some sort of stability using her specialized health kit was a lot more than she wanted.
"The things I do for my sister," Madi sighed, trying to hustle back to her team's temporary locker room to change back into her cheerleading uniform before getting back on the bus to return to her own school. "I'm glad that I got it to her in time. But, God, I am not living for this insanity!"
While the cheers of the Royals could've been heard from Cari's dorm room as they won and Madi tended to Cari's needs, the groans and yells from the Nash U. Knights' majority surrounding her on all sides and the reputation they had whenever they lost were things that she didn't want to experience firsthand, especially after barely making it out alive after their last clash on her own campus. As soon as Cari kicked her out to care for herself rather than call for help - the immense pride the sisters had was always their downfall - Madi found herself in the eye of an accumulating storm of brawling and spats.
Only by the grace of God, her sport-influenced speed, and her non-school-affiliated sweats worn over her uniform, she made it back to the stadium's public but reserved, empty, co-ed locker room unscathed, practically collapsing on a bench in exhaustion.
"Oh, thank God!" she panted, setting a hand on her side and the other over her heart, slipping her backpack off herself onto the floor. "I, uh, better get out of here before some nasty Nashers barge in on me or something. But, why did Coach have to make that cursed policy of having to be in full uniform during all parts of travel? Is she trying to kill me!?"
With a groan, she stood up, getting ready to disrobe her casual wear until she suddenly felt how dry her throat had become and how tired she was. She was about to go look for a water fountain until she remembered the unopened can of soda she had grabbed from the squad's cooler while they were taking a cheer break. Unfortunately, the jostling of the bag as she ran to and from her sister didn't come to mind, resulting in it exploding upon opening.
"Oh. Oh, God!" Madi exclaimed, stammering from the flow of carbonation shooting onto her face, the rest of her body, and the floor. "St-Stop! Jeez!" The amount of liquid in and on her person eventually built up to the point where she was coughing some of it out and her hand was too slippery to maintain a grip on the can, causing her to drop it. The spray of soda spread to lower levels of her clothes and doused her backpack before crashing and fizzling out on the floor where the can broke in two on impact. "Shoot, I need to get this mess up, or the school's going to get charged. Wait, my uniform!"
Trying to juggle two problems at once, Madi took off her sweatshirt and pants as quickly as possible and threw them onto the elongating puddle on the floor before running to a sink to dab the not-as-large stains on her uniform with water. As she focused on her clothing, she was unaware of the growing stickiness and hardening of the soda on her exposed skin and hair. Taking a shower occurred nearly every night, anyway, but having to go into the strenuous and lengthy routine that was treating, washing, and drying her uniform was something that she hoped wouldn't have to happen.
She had gotten to the point where visible stains on her clothes had faded to half of their previous intensity when the familiar sound of a notification chirping from her phone reached her ears. Knowing how late she was and figuring that her team was probably worried about her, she cut off the sink faucet and ran for it. When she returned to her stuff, she was happy that her clothes were doing what she had wanted - absorb as much of the spilled drink as they could. Much of the liquid mess had retreated into the fabric. Still, seeing how the list of fabrics also included her bag wasn't relieving, bringing another sigh out of her as she grabbed and shook her phone that was poking out of a shallow, brown pool like a rock in a mud puddle.
Remembering how the captain of the team tended to snap at some of the smallest issues, Madi hesitated at unlocking her phone to see her new message. But, she was a big girl, and if she wanted any chance at possibly being a leader next year or a front-row starter at Nationals, then she was going to have to answer, and so she did. However, the message she read had only little to do with her as it had been sent to the entire team.
"Huh? A recall?" she read, confused and worried. "'Due to adverse effects in direct correlation to being exposed to the following drinks, DO NOT CONSUME THEM.' Well, that's not ominous at all. Another health scare, oh boy!" Madi started simply going back to cleaning herself until she thought about the drink company and expiration dates in the text. "Wait, my drink doesn't apply to that, right? I didn't drink my soda since it fucking-erupted on me, but it said just 'being exposed' was an issue. Hmm."
She turned back to the mess on the floor, and after looking at the can fragments, she felt that something was off. Nevertheless, she went for the bottom half of the can to check its information. Its size seemed much larger than what she remembered when opening it – looking more like the 12-ounce size rather than the 7.5 fluid ounce type that she could've sworn she picked up – but the labeling was a greater concern because it fit right into the drink batches in question. However, as soon as Madi made her realization, she found herself on the floor, putting all her hard stain removal work in the trash as she fell face first into a soda stream and darkness.
When Madeline and Caroline were younger, they and their family would frequent to the lake that a family friend of theirs had property on. Each visit was lovely, except for the one where the twins were a bit too confident in their swimming skills and drifted too long and far into the lake. Madi couldn't forget the feeling of water filling every orifice more and more as her appendages gave out over time and the heavy coughing that tested her lungs as their father swooped them back up above the surface to receive air once again. She imagined that Cari had similar experiences, but they had never discussed it - the memories were too bad.
So, why was she thinking of them now?
Madi's vision faded in from black as light reached her eyes once again, but in conjunction with the light, a sensation of liquid also came to her, flowing into her slightly open mouth, a nostril, and an ear as a surprise, forcing herself to pop out of lethargy and raise up to breathe. As her sights cleared, she could feel wetness falling from her head, down her curves, and into what felt like a sticky lake around and beneath her. Gumminess and saturation in all her orifices were two feelings that she never wanted to have, and her outfit now being painted in a shade like the fluid surrounding her and stuck to her skin like latex, along with almost drowning, only made it worse.
"What the hell is this?" Madi screamed, throwing her hands up and down, rippling the aqua around her upon impact. By doing so, she became aware of how heavy all her muscles felt - each one needing more force than usual to move - as if she had been in a twenty-four practice... or trying to keep from drowning. "Where even am I!?"
To figure out her location, she looked around, only to find blurry white as far as her eyes could see, except for the dirty collection in which she sat. This was something she only saw in movies and creepypastas, and it got her terrified, not knowing where to go or what to do - sitting in a blank, unknown, quiet room alone, almost. It was almost quiet, except for the sloshing noises that her movements made and a faint bubbling that couldn't have been too far from her.
Madi searched for its source, running her hands through the dark goop and feeling around or anything out of the ordinary. When she detected nothing, she decided to trudge toward the sound, not bothering to stand up as he figured that she would just fall back down. So, she got on all fours and began to crawl.
With each movement, she could see her optics slowly improve, introducing more and more colors and shapes into view. However, her good news was countered by the difficulty of dragging through the murky goop, comparable to those barbed wire mud crawls she saw soldiers do in a documentary once. As much as she wanted to quit, she knew that locating the sounds were more important, and so she persevered. In not too long of a lumber, she found the origin of the bubbling - her submerged phone vibrating and blinking below the brown surface.
"What the-? This still works?" she questioned in utter shock.
Pulling her cellular device out into open air, through the strain it took to do so, Madi saw that the waterproof case she had on it stood up to its claims, along with the tens of messages from her coaches and squad family asking where she was and if she was okay. It devastated her to know how so many people were worried about her, but she was even broken by the fact that her hands were so gluey that she couldn't make precise movements on its screen to respond to them that she was at least alive. Each touch appeared to open every app she wasn't trying to interact with, thus frustrating her to no end. She only had a brief calm when the camera application open, and only a brief calm it was.
The back camera was on, and through it, she saw that her eyesight had returned to normalcy, seeing her pile of sweats and bag in the distance as she had left them. She sighed in bittersweet relief, understanding that she was still in a Nash University locker room like before. However, she noticed how they appeared to be farther away from both herself and each other than what she last remembered as well as the lockers, floor tiles, and bench being much wider and/or taller, almost comedically large. Intrigued, Madi turned off the camera and chose to look at the bench at her side for herself, just to then find herself awestruck and lock-jawed at not only a wooden bench that seemed to tower over and overshadow her like a building but also a not-as-high yet still twice her sitting height, sliced, metal, hollow cylinder in front of her with jagged edges that could make her bleed infinitely and the same brown slop streaming from it into the pool around her.
It didn't take long for her to realize the truth, looking back and forth to other spectacles of the room - the other half of the cylinder behind her also pouring liquid, the skyscraping and never-ending lines of lockers, the heavenly white lights way up high, and the walls that seemed impossible to reach no matter how far or quickly she ran - but she just didn't want to believe it.
"This is some sci-fi shit," Madi mumbled to herself. "There's no way I've... freaking shrunk. How in the-?" She paused her questioning when she remembered the one cryptic message she had received earlier that evening and looked at its reference - the colossal can, taunting her with its girth. "Youdid this!" she yelled at the metal container with a shaken voice, frightened at how in this wide, empty room, her voice neither carried nor echoed at her dimensions. "No wonder there's a fucking recall! This is literal chemical warfare! What the hell!?"
With the recall in mind, she could only hope that no one else had been affected by it, especially with a whole school full of enraged Knights stomping around. After all, how else would they have known about it, in the first place? But, Madi tried to keep a relatively cool head, hoping by the grace of God that she was the only one, even though there was much greater chance that anyone else would've had someone nearby to care for them in her scenario. Would she ever be that lucky?
"What do I do?" she wondered, analyzing the situation. "I can't move. My everything hurts. I barely know my way out of here, if I can even get there without passing out, getting lost, or worse."
Her sentence nearly faltered as she started visualizing the most terrible scenarios, all of which a Nash Knight of any age finding her, a cup-sized K.U. cheerleader, or them coming across her unknowingly, perhaps even literally. Each idea brought its own chills down her spine.
“I'm totally screwed!" she continued. "The only things I can do are speak and hear, I guess, but who knows how well those would do against a 'normal-sized' person."
Though, after saying her somewhat positive qualities aloud, she gained a bit of hope and curiosity, looking down at the phone in her hand.
"Yet, this thing is small as hell, and it still works," she regarded, rubbing a syrupy finger across the screen and seeing how it was more responsive than before, perhaps calibrating to her new touch and feel. "There is no logical reason, I think, that this thing should still have a signal or a working battery, and yet it does! It can't hurt to call for help, but if I can even get through, who do I call?"
Looking at her contacts, scrolling down the page to the best of her ability, Madi juggled who would be the best choice. Her ICE numbers were her parents and Cari, but with Cari needing to heal on her own and their parents being far away, none of them would be able to get to her before it got dangerous. Her next choices were anyone on her squad and the coaches. They had already shown their unease toward her absence, so it would make sense for them to want to help her in her time of need. However, as she only listed full names of people in the list without prefixes, titles, or grouping, she would have to go at least halfway through before reaching one of them.
"Jeez, did every single cheerleader this year have to have a name that starts after M!?" she moaned, failing time and time again to use the letter quick scroll on the side of the screen, eventually resorting to flicking her thumbs and indexes to go down the hundreds of numbers, email addresses, and names.
As the list grew longer, her fingers became pained, and her head starting to go dizzy, not able to take in so much changing information and action at once as well as her viscid finger pads only allowing bits of movement at a time. So, she had to stop at some point to work out the kinks in her hands. However, when she did, she wasn't aware of where her fingers landed and how they had started a dial tone. It was only when a familiar voice broke the silence did she comprehend that her prospects had come true, even if the way of doing so was unexpected.
"H-Hello?" a disembodied male voice called out through what sounded like a party. Madi gasped, knowing only a few people that could be that orotund in a crowd but only one with a voice like that. She looked down at her cell and thanked God at the name on its screen. "Madi, are you there?"
"Yes? Yes, I'm here!" Madi tried to answer back through tears, nearly dropping the phone in anticipation and excitement. "P-Please tell me you can hear me. Please."
"Uh, yeah. You're coming in fine on my end, even through the craziness on this bus." Madi had to hold back crying out loud from happiness, even though she wanted to express it.
"Oh, thank God! I honestly can't believe I reached you. Are you nearby?"
She figured that with nearly a hundred players on the team, including him, and them constantly giving their hardest and being switched in and out during the game for as much as she could remember and hear from Cari's room, that it would take a lot of time for them and the squad to reenergize, grab food, and re-board the buses to go back to the Kingdom aka K.U.'s main campus.
However, her interlocutor then lowered her sentiments when he continued, "Uh, I'd say 'close' is pretty dependent on where you are. I mean, the team and I are still in the parking lot, but we're going to be heading off soon. Why do you ask? We're all going to end up back at K.U., right? Did something happen to y'all or the bus?"
Madi realized that the squad's coach bus must've already left. It was the tradition for the cheerleaders to return first to join the JV and smaller squads that were already on campus to support the team, win or lose, but she didn't think they'd just leave without her.
"Uh, I don't think so?" That was all she could say about them, considering that she wasn't there to know for sure. "I hope not, or do I? I don't know."
"What's with the lack of clarity? That's not like you." Madi couldn't help but agree. However, it was all that she could be. Nothing was going right or making sense. "What's wrong?"
There was so much that Madi could say, and she knew that explaining her body issue would've probably been the most logical thing to describe, but there was no way that he would believe her. So, she went on a just-as-true but somewhat indirect route.
"I-I'm not on the bus?" she admitted lowly.
"What!?" her friend yelled, most likely being the cause of the quieting background noise. In a more hushed tone, he resumed, "Why? Where are you, then?"
"I'm in the NU locker room, and I can't move."
"You can't? They're not keeping you hostage over one loss out of, like, eight games so far, are they?" he asked in a whisper-shout. "No one hurt you, right?"
"No," Madi replied bluntly. "No one's here, but there's nothing to stop them from doing so if someone does show up. I came in here a while ago, but I passed out, and I'm just coming to." Explaining the horrific doings and possibilities raised Madi's already-high stress levels even higher, and she had to pause to compose herself. "No one touched me, but it sure feels like someone did."
After saying that, the other side of the call went coldly silent. Madi prayed that the call didn't drop, and she was too scared to look on the phone and check for herself.
"Jake? You're still there, right?” she tried worriedly.
A few seconds passed before the man, Jake, answered back,
“Yeah, I'm here. I'm just moving stuff out of my way. I didn't think I'd have to go back to the front of the bus until we got back, but here I am doing just that. I’ve got to let the coaches know about you, girly - mine and yours. We may need some backup going back on that cursed ground."
"Wait, what?" Madi cried, not expecting Jake to tell someone. "No, no! Don't tell anyone about this! That's just asking for trouble!"
"How is a search party for you more dangerous than me going in alone? Sure, a coach makes the plays, but the players do them, and I don't think the one player that scored the turning point of the game that led to their ultimate demise should go in alone on rival turf."
On one hand, Madi felt that his thought was selfish, but she also understood what he was saying on the other. She hadn’t thought about what would happen after Jake or someone else found her as she was, but having more people dealing with her, especially those she didn't know or trust, was just something that she didn't want.
"Plus, you know there are, like, five locker rooms in the proximity of the stadium, right?" Jake continued. "You never said which one you were in, so more people looking would make finding you a lot easier."
"Don't sass me with your valid logic! Jake, I'm having a crisis right now!" Madi shut him down before breaking down herself. "Jackson, please. With everyone I know, and everyone that must deal with me, why would I call you of all people first if I didn't need you and only you?" Of course, she knew him being her callee was a lucky coincidence, but she would never admit that. Her argument was too good.
It proved to be true as Madi was met with another silence before sighing broke through the phone,
“Madi, you better be in some deep shit, because I'm not going to risk myself getting suspended for basic pettiness."
"I swear that this is as real as it gets, as much as I don't want to believe it, myself," she promised tautly. "I can't do this on my own. I'm scared."
"Don't be. I'm coming for you," Jake assured with a smoky tinge. "Just sit tight unless you have no other choice, and I'll find you."
"Please do."
And then, the call ended, leaving Madi alone to collect her thoughts and wait on the sidelines of a soda can for whatever or whoever was going to come with nowhere to turn and nowhere to run.
#g/t#my writing#sideline#sw#shrunken woman#aka the smut fic#contains smut and small girls and sports and stuff
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
October 7th, 2018 (Sunday)
Osmeña Peak
Sunday I woke up the Oslob hostel feeling the absolute worst. Throughout the night I kept adding additional clothing and was at a point where I had my towel as a blanket because the aircon was blasting. When I eventually got up at around 7am I had the worst sore throat, headache, and head cold. I walked to the bathroom and spit thick sputum in the sink and looked in the mirror. My eyes looked like I’ve been crying all night with huge dark circles and bags. I asked Anna if she felt like shit as well and she said her throat hurt with the puffy eyes.
I notice the aircon or places with air conditioning throughout the Philippines made me sick every time I was exposed to it. I’m not sure if there was some kind of antifreeze in it or if it was always just pumping out pure mold. I would feel absolutely terrible. Air conditioning in the car would make me extremely nauseous here as well.
We stayed in the room until almost 8am. Sam and the guy from the Congo walked in the door looking wide awake. The guy from the Congo’s name was Charamant. They apparently already did the whale shark tour in the way early the morning. I started telling them how shitty I was feeling. The guys said, “yeah the aircon was absolutely blazing when we got up at 430am.” They said it was winter cold. I’m not sure what makes the aircon machines take a cruel freezing turn or turn off in the middle of the night. Its the worst waking up scolding hot like a dry sponge or freezing with a cold.
I asked the guys how their tour was. Charamant said, “it was pretty good. I couldn’t really see anything.” I said “well did you swim with the whale sharks! You can’t miss them!” He said, “nah I stayed in the boat because I can’t swim.” I thought that was interesting. He came all the way to Oslob in Cebu to see the whale sharks from inside the boat! I was laughing and asking if he was kidding. I felt bad but hey if you’re a sinker you can’t really enjoy the whale sharks if you’re panicking and kicking them to stay afloat.
After talking with the guys, they packed their stuff and headed to Moalboal together. We got ready to see osmena peak. The girls were saying the hostel owner was trying to convince them to do the osmena peak tour with him including transportation for 1000 pasos a person. We now learned that we were a bit ripped off with our whale shark and waterfall tour so we weren’t going to go through that again. I had to break it to him that we were going to head that way ourselves.
The girls left their stuff at the hostel, I took my backpack I came with because the hike was already towards Cebu city where I’ll be returning right after. My flight was at 740 that evening.
We walked out of the hostel and started walking on the road. As Anna was asking, “how do we find a bus that goes that way?” a bus came around the corner as I flagged it down. It was one of those big tour buses. I told the ticket collector we were going to osmena peak and he nodded. I never know if they would remember where I’m going so I just monitor our trip on google maps. It was only 50 pesos to bus from the hostel to about 45 minutes north. Once the bus stopped where we breed o get off, the ticket collector pointed to a corner where men waited with their 50 motorcycles.
The previous evening, I was warning Anna and Carys that the motorbikes here have up to 4 people on them. I quickly became comfortable to the idea (after I first overreacted). Anna was used to it living in Vietnam for a while and even having her own bike while there. She still said we would get two bikes.
When we arrived to the guys, we told them where we wanted to go. I read online it would be about 300 pasos a person for to and from transportation which was about 30 minutes away or so. When we asked the men they said, “100 a person and one bike.” Anna responded saying, “that’s too much.” I was impressed she wanted to cut the price even more down when it was barely $2 a person in USD. We accepted the price and all piled on.
The driver took my backpack and wore it on his chest. The order when you stack a bike is heaviest to lightest, specially affective with climbing hills and going down hills. The drive waited, Anna hopped on followed by myself. Carys was lightest so she sat last.
The drive
During the drive I was thinking, we should have said we wanted two bikes as the real danger to the idea was now surfacing. It’s funny how cheap you get living somewhere like the Philippines. You try to save a few pasos when it’s literally a dollar or two difference in reality. The drive was full uphill climbs and turns. We had to all lean forward to crawl up some of these steep roads. I felt like we had a scooter from dumb and dumber when Harry and Lloyd ride to aspen on their moped.
When we arrived we paid 30 pesos to enter and our bike hire waited for us until we were finished with the hike. During the hike, it wasn’t even a difficult climb but I was breathing heavy. I thought, “oh man I’m in trouble for when it comes time for base camp.” I felt like I was really winded and hot. It only took maybe 20 minutes to reach the top with some beautiful lumpy hill views. It’s so weird how lumpy they were.
On the top, there was this older guy with a big white beard from Oregon. He was super friendly and outgoing. I was interested in his story. He had a cane but looked in good shape at the same time. He said he and his Filipino wife live over there- as he pointed among the rolling hills to one house that was present. He said he was undergoing radiation for having cancer of the vocal cords. He has his treatments in the Philippines and said he hasn’t been able to travel as much as he would like due to the treatments. He hadn’t been in one spot for more than three months and it’s the longest he has been in one spot. He handed me his business card and said, “here’s my card, call me anytime you’re in Oregon. I own this winery here, and you can stay for free anytime you want! You tell the guys there you know me.” The man also opened his own orphanage in the Philippines many years back. I was just so intrigued with his life and who he was. He took our pictures and that was that.
We headed back down. Instead of leaning forward, we all leaned back on the motorbike while going steeply downhill. Once we arrived at the main road, I had to say my goodbyes to Anna and Carys. They were a blast and I was super thankful they let me in their duo.
I waited at the bus stop and saw them take the bus back to Oslob in the opposite direction. As I waited a curious woman began talking to me. She asked where I was from and where I was going. I told her I had a 730 flight to catch. She pretty much told me I wasn’t gonna make it due to the buses unpredictable arrival and multiple stops. It wasn’t really something I wanted to hear but at the same time I just shrugged my shoulders. If I miss it I miss it. I couldn’t change the future and it was already 2 o’clock. The drive back to Cebu city was 3 and a half hours. Then I would have a 30 minute taxi to the airport from the terminal.
The woman also asked if I was alone. I said yes, and she gasped saying, “oh so lonely!” I feel like the people who believe it is utterly lonely to travel solo are people who tend to get lonely.. Some people are not very good at going to the places where it’s easy to meet people or starting conversations when they are in those opportune places. I had just left two awesome chicks from different parts of the world. They were complete strangers and after only two days I felt like I knew them for years. And when we said our goodbyes it just felt like a goodbye like “alright take care, see you soon sometime.”
Some people are very uncomfortable with the thought of solo travel. I would always much prefer to have a companion, friend, or family but I’m also not the type to wait around until it’s convenient for them. That could be months or years delaying my opportunity. I think people think I get a hotel alone. Or a lodge. They think I go snorkeling alone or do solo tours with just me and the guide. I would not allow myself to be totally secluded like that, if I did I would accept the response of “oh so lonely!” Then i'd day.. “yeah it is lonely..” but for being a solo traveler I’m making the most of it.
So I nicely said to the woman. I’m travelling alone but I’m not really alone. And I’m not lonely. I smiled and my bus came.
The bus was SO much smoother than the private driver on the way back. Three hours or so go by. I get off at the terminal and wave a taxi like mission impossible. I jumped in the passenger seat and said, “if we can hurry please that would be awesome, I got a flight to catch!”
I get to the airport with “plenty of time” to spare. I was distracted walking in and out of shopping spots and spritzing myself with expensive perfume when I heard, “May I have your attention please. Will Courtney Bishop please come to gate 12, your flight is boarding.” I hurried and oh shit ran to the gate. It was weird because they boarded 30 minutes early.
I get on the plane and it rolls out. But then sits aside next to the runway. It sat for about 20 minutes and then we were informed that other planes were landing and we had to wait. As I looked out the window I saw planes taking off not landing.
Another ten minutes go by. “This is your captain. We are uh having some uh trouble with the hydrolics. Stand by.” Another 15 minutes go by.. “folks were good to go, the problem has resolved. We’ll be leaving soon.” ANOTHER 20 minutes… “This is your captain again, we’re gonna turn back to the gates. The hydrolics gave us problems again. This is for your safety.”
It was a first for me so I just followed the crowd. We all got on a shuttle that took us back to the airport. I sat in the far back next to another foreigner like myself. I was getting vibes she wasn’t a talker so I just kept quiet. As we were coming to a stop I made eye contact with this hooded Filipino guy. We locked eyes for a good 10 seconds and I was drawing in closer like I was examining him. “Mayor!! Is that you!” I said. He started smiling then removed his hoodie and I was right! I have now seen Mark the mayor in Guiuan, Cebu city, and now on the same flight!! Craziness.
We were super excited to have each other to hang out with while we waited for the long line to the service desk. After a little waiting, the mayor jumped the line and talked to a woman and got his voucher for a free hotel. He then spoke in waray upon my behalf. It’s nice to know people, judging by the size of that line they could have ran out of rooms or only had crappy far away ones.
We shared a taxi to the hotel, and I got a two bedroom hotel with hot running showers and it even came with a robe!! The air conditioning scared me because they’ve been making me sick lately so I remained sticky cool but the AC was just not agreeing with me here. I took the hottest longest shower. It was already midnight and I was taking my time enjoying the freedom of the hotel amenities. I had to be up by 4am to catch the shuttle back to the airport for the first flight back to Tacloban.
0 notes
Text
Script
This “script” is still a very rough draft and is still a work in progress. I will be editing, adding, and reconstructing this post over the next few weeks.
So far I have only outlined the conversational exchanges between the 2 characters for half of the “major event checkpoints” and have a working introduction. I will be writing the transitional narratives later on in the process. As coding these conversational responses and choices is becoming difficult for me, I am hoping that the next FLOWCHART deliverable will really get the ball rolling on my script writing. Trying to write this script without a visual aid is really driving me insane.
INTRO:
CHEERS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Loud cheers of congratulatory wishes and the sound of clinking glasses echoed through the dark restaurant, giving the other patrons a startle. In the far corner of the trendy bar, Mahogany’s Social House, was a table of university students celebrating a friend’s birthday. Two amidst the group of 20 were preoccupied with their own conversation, taking little interest in their surroundings...
Jamie : Hey, so how do you know the birthday boy?
Cary : Oh, uhm… I’m actually friends with his girlfriend, we’ve known each other since pre-K. How do you know the birthday boy?
Jamie : We’ve been in a few of the same classes before and we did a group project together just last semester. Spending 2-3 hours a week doing homework together brought us closer.
EVENT 1 — bubble tea date @ BoBo’s
Tired, sluggish, and hungry, Jamie walked through the hallways of JFU. Having just finished a 3 hour long midterm, Jamie wasn’t in the mood to do anything but sleep. While trying to duck through the crowd of students in the corridor, Jamie suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder…
Cary : HEY! I called out to you back there, how’s it going?
Jamie : Oh my god Cary? Hey! Sorry… I didn’t hear you back there, I just finished a midterm and I barely slept last night from all the studying. *sigh* How are you? Did you just finish class?
Cary : Aaah, so the usual grind? I just finished my STAT’s 300 midterm too, it was brutal, I didn’t even have enough time to finish the last page.
Jamie : Well that’s not good…. You think you can get your grade back up with assignments and finals?
Cary : Yeah probably, but enough about exams, you wanna go grab a drink? I saw someone with a BoBo’s cup in the lecture hall and now I have the biggest craving for it.
Jamie : Sure! I’m starving… I overslept and didn’t have time for breakfast.
As the two walked towards the main entrance of JFU, they soon realized that it was pouring rain outside…
Jamie : Oh crap… I totally forgot to bring an umbrella…
c A1 : Well that’s too bad, I always have one in my backpack but it’s only big enough for one. Come on, use your hood.
Jamie : Excuse me? No. Give me your umbrella, I don’t even have a hood. You have a hood, give me the umbrella.
c A2 : Okay, do you want to wait here? I’ll go buy the drinks and come back.
Jamie : Really? Omg you’re the best. Can you get me passion fruit green tea with
pearls? I’ll pay you back.
c A2a : Go buy the drinks.
go back to give Jamie her drink
walk her to bus stop
go home
c A2b : Go home.
“Hey sorry, something came up and I have to rush home.”
(he’s already home catching up on GoT)
c A3 : Okay I don’t have time to argue, I gotta catch up on GoT. I’ll catch up with you
next time.
c B1 : Here, take my hoodie. C’mon let’s run! Last one there’s treating!
Jamie get’s to BoBo’s first.
Jamie : I win! Drink’s are on you.
c B2 : -pay for drinks-
sit down & chat
bring up topic of movies
exchange numbers
“we should go see a movie together next time"
c B3 : Crap… I left my wallet at home today… Could you spot me? I’ll pay you back the next time I see you.
he lied
Jamie : Oh… okay…
sit down @ chat
exchange numbers
c C1 : It’s okay, we can share mine.
sit down & chat
exchange numbers
c C2 : Do you want to stay here and get some studying done?
Jamie : No, I think I’m gonna go home and take a nap, I barely slept last night.
c C3 : It’s getting late, I gotta go home for dinner, I’ll walk you to the bust stop.
EVENT 2 — movie date
Jamie tries to call Cary to ask him to the movies.
c A2 : pick up call
Cary : Hello?
Jamie : Hey are you busy? Do you want to go for a movie tonight? The new Jackie
Chong movie’s out.
Cary : Sure, let me check the show times on the Cineplox app…
Cary : There’s a show at 8:45pm. Let’s meet at the theatres around 8:15?
Jamie : Wait, aren’t you supposed to take me out for dinner first?
c A2a : Sorry, I’d love to take you out for dinner first, but I have classes until 7pm
tomorrow.
Jamie : Just skip class, this is supposed to be date isn’t it?
* c A2b : Not unless you’re paying.
c B2 : ignore call
c B2a : pick up call
Cary : Hello?
Jamie : Sorry, were you busy?
Cary : Yeah sorry, I just got out of class, what’s up?
Jamie : The new Jackie Chong movie’s out, and I remember you mentioning that you wanted to watch it too, did you wanna go later tonight? I checked the
times, Cineplox has it running at 6:50 and 8:45.
Cary : Sure! I still have another class later today, so maybe we can catch the 8:45
show, Let’s meet at the theatres around 8:15?
Jamie : Great! See you tonight, bye!
Cary : Bye
c B2b : ignore call
c B2aa : pick up call
Cary : Hello?
Jamie : Sorry, were you busy?
Cary : Yeah sorry, I just got out of class, what’s up?
Jamie : The new Jackie Chong movie’s out, and I remember you mentioning that you wanted to watch it too, did you wanna go later tonight? I checked the times, Cineplox has it running at 6:50 and 8:45.
Cary : Sure! I still have another class later today, so maybe we can catch the
8:45 show, Let’s meet at the theatres around 8:15?
Jamie : Great! See you tonight, bye!
Cary : Bye
c B2bb : ignore call
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from http://ift.tt/2n5X8VH
from Blogger http://ift.tt/2mXpiRZ
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from DIYS http://ift.tt/2nhj0Om
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from DIYS http://ift.tt/2nhj0Om
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from DIYS http://ift.tt/2nhj0Om
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from DIYS http://ift.tt/2nhj0Om
0 notes
Text
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If you google "procrastination", it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 16, 2017
I live in fear of the day my kid asks "where's all my other drawings?"
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 14, 2017
Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 15, 2017
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do when we bicker over who gets to shovel the snow, because the other person has to watch the kids.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 14, 2017
Sittin' here sippin' on a juice pouch at work.
My, how things have changed.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 13, 2017
I lost my patience. I think it's under the couch cushions next to my kids' socks, chip crumbs, and my temper I lost earlier.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 14, 2017
What's inside the family suitcase?
•60% kids' clothes
•20% kids' toys
•10% kids' miscellaneous
•9.9% mom's stuff
•.1% dad's stuff
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 14, 2017
Without kids I would have never known the joy of cleaning a spilled bottle of glue out of a backpack at 6 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 15, 2017
"I'm hungry! Is it lunch time?"
-my kid, at 9:17am
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 13, 2017
Spring Break is just 10 days in a row of disappointing my children with the boredom that is real life.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 15, 2017
"It's just that the snow is reflecting the moonlight."
-Me trying to convince my kids it's totally bedtime even though it's only 5:45
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 15, 2017
March Madness: When I don't know whether to dress my kids in a winter coat or shorts and I'm always wrong.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 16, 2017
My kids were late to school. I signed 'em in with the reason: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STINKS! (Just the facts)
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) March 13, 2017
It smells weird in here.
-How parents enter a room.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
Not sure what happened here, but that toy looks a little freaked out if you ask me. http://pic.twitter.com/az5MxfzFWH
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) March 17, 2017
Gee I wonder why we're always sick I say as one kid has her bare feet in her mouth and the other one is licking the floor.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 14, 2017
"I TOOK A CRAP!"
- my 8yo to me in line at Panera
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 16, 2017
90% of parenting is doing just enough to keep other parents from judging you.
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 13, 2017
Empty Nesters, my 2yo forced me to watch him poop in the toilet this morning. Eyes locked. Grunting.
You're welcome.
— Cari (@cariastark) March 13, 2017
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid's 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2017
Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017
Being a SAHM allows me to do the fun things. For example, today I spent the day playing hide and seek.... with socks and car keys.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 15, 2017
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://huff.to/2nhqzo7
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
diegooceanfive
Ocean Five
produsengamisaulia-blog
Tanpa judul
mindsynthcreations
mindsynthcreations
nyawinterquartz
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here