#i could've said so much more too!!!!!

[notmoreflippingelves]

Wardrobe Appreciation

↳ Esteban Flores (Elena of Avalor)

#elena of avalor #esteban flores #chancellor esteban #this gifset is entirely about his little sailing/archeology/adventure outfit #that's why it has pride of place in the middle #realistically i know that he is really not THAT much more underdressed than in any of his other outfits #but to me; he is still in a delightfully shameful state of deshabille comparatively: #his neck exposed because he has *gasp* no cravat and has unbuttoned his shirt two whole buttons #the yellow sash belt that clearly has no other purpose except to remind us that his waist is snatched #no longcoat to partially cover his hips and the back of his legs? the brazen audacity. I need some pearls to clutch #moment of silence for all of the cute little potential esteban fits we never got to see on the show #at the very least; we were owed a nice little Navidad look in the snowbound ep #maybe a nice green jacket and/or one with little embroidered poinsetta accents to match elena's dress? #a carnaval fit would've been gr8 too; even gabe of all people got one (tho esteban still has more outfits than him overall so it even outs) #i would say that esteban should have a dias de los muertos outfit too (maybe matching francisco's) #but that would require the writers actually putting him in said episodes to begin with #i mean; i get it #it's not like he has any lost loved ones that he might hypothetically want to remember on day of the dead--OH WAIT!!! #i mean word of god is that he's visiting his parents' altars off-screen; but it would've been nice if we could've seen this once #even if he's just shown briefly in the background #also i *hate* that the shuriki era uniform looks so good on him #i mean she's still a monster and was definitely a hell of a boss to him #but dang; the woman has quite the sartorial eye #and you'll never not convince me that her chancellor looking excellent in black #isn't the entire reason the palace guards wear black too #she knows how to coordinate a retinue #esteban flores: assigned goth at conquest #poor thing #lucky (or is it unlucky?) he carries it off so well

[saviourkingslut]

lmao was at a small social event at a colleague's home. conversation turned to video games. i drop the name fire emblem. turns out two guys present know the franchise. one of them has played three houses but only crimson flower, he's firmly on the left but somehow also seems convinced she was the good one for abolishing the nobility (anti-establishment/monarchy/capitalism etc) and fighting 'the monsters' (he has never played another fe game and is unfamiliar with their stories so to him monsters = bad). i disagree with him (in a normal way bc otherwise he's a nice guy). another guy asks for my opinion on her and the writing in general. cue me info dumping abt this game for 15 mins looking generally deranged.

#i was like the game has four routes and he didn't know bc he didn't know abt silver snow. also didn't know abt cf being much shorter #he was like hell yeah edelgard. i was like im a dimitri fan. he was like oh #bro you haven't even played his route 😭 so i told him abt dinitri's reforms etc #anyway i also said sometimes the writing between the routes doesnt seem to add up but it's bc characters have access to #different information. and it's not always the right information. so that's incongruity that makes sense. #but at other times. it's just lazy writing. #and also edelgard could've been a much more interesting character if they hadn't tried to make her moe and cater to #a very specific fire emblem player base demographic #curry rambles #i was dropping way too specific facts abt this game i felt like a wiki page fr.

[ratsalad]

the whole time i watched “everybody dies” i wondered why there was a fire. it felt too much like a device, too obvious, something put in place just to get house to make a decision

but it hit me just now: fire is rebirth, it’s been symbolic of rebirth and reincarnation for centuries in so many cultures.

gregory house “died” in that fire, and when he comes out of it, he’s a changed man. his hallucinations of stacy and cameron made him realize his faith in love if not god, how much he loves wilson and how poorly he’s treated that love, and how no, he isn’t doomed by nature to be selfish, and how he has the capacity for selfless action (when he saved his patient’s life even though that meant the patient couldn’t go to jail for him - even though it meant he couldn’t be with wilson). and while house has realized his capacity for change before (e.g. “broken”), the fire symbolism is so heavy-handed - especially considering it’s the last episode of the show - that it could only mean house’s rebirth is intended to be read as lasting, even permanent.

#so he decides to live. he decides to fake his death because he realized he’s capable of finally honoring his and wilson’s love for each othe #*other without repeatedly taking advantage of him. #i have so much more to say. his faking his death was his killing off his old persona #and embracing that he's ready to face the possibility of wilson dying. because he's now sure that he'll survive it #which aligns with what stacy said about wilson dying being good for house. and what wilson himself said: 'there's only one person in the wor #*world you can count on' #house md #im gonna kermit yall. embracing the possibility of wilson dying = house is ready to endure pain to be there for the people he loves #and i refuse to believe it stops with wilson. for sure that's why he decided to live and decided to fake his death #but i refuse to believe his selflesslessness and capacity for love stops with wilson. otherwise there would be no point to stacy telling him #that she and cuddy weren't the only people he could've had a life with #like she said. if it could've been then it can be in the future too #goshhhhhhh. i'm so proud of house #8x22 everybody dies #vaaya moodu #hilson #houseposting

[djenxuelmxue]

Somethig is seriously broken about me.

And I don't know why.

#this is why i was so mad at dad #i was like him #so it could've been genetics #also #he was absent when i was a kid #mentally anyway #his body was there but he. barely spoke to me except yell at me for opening and shutting the fridge door #taking too much space #so! this is why i keep the fridge door open until i find everything i want #even tho it may cost more $ and i crige thinkig dad will notice #WELL WHICH IS IT #you made me a burden #by being a burden #or else something else #or there is no reason im just. a nothing #which is what he always said about himself #i nevvvver wanted to be like him #well guess what #why i hate myself

[mistbow]

スタン「ディムロス……」 ディムロス「最後に一つだけ言っておく」 ディムロス「私は嘘をついていた。おまえは選ばれた存在などではないのだ」 スタン「…………！」 ディムロス「元々、人間にはお互いに意志疎通を行う力があった」 ディムロス「だが、長い時間の中で、天地戦争が始まった頃には、人間はそれを忘れていた」 ディムロス「おまえは私と出会う前から、その資質を目覚めさせていた」 ディムロス「それは非常に希有な事ではあったが、特別な事ではない」 ディムロス「その資質は誰の中にも、眠っているものなのだからな」 スタン「なんだ、そういうことか……　気にするなよ、俺は別に気にしてないからな」

STAHN: Dymlos.... DYMLOS: I want to say one final word to you. DYMLOS: I lied to you. You were not chosen. STAHN: .........! DYMLOS: In the beginning, people were blessed with the power to truly understand one another. DYMLOS: However, this power was lost by the time of Aeth’er Wars. DYMLOS: But you found that quality within yourself even before you met me. DYMLOS: It was very unusual to find someone like you, but your abilities are not extraordinary. DYMLOS: This is because this power, this ability lies dormant within everyone. STAHN: Is that all? Hey, don’t worry, it doesn’t bother me at all.

When people (usually English-speaking people, because Japanese fans of Destiny often have this attachment to the original game because of nostalgia) ask me if I seriously prefer the original version to the PS2 remake of the game in terms of overall narrative and characters, I really mean it unironically.

I feel like in the bigger picture, the message of the original game (like why it was even called Tales of Destiny, for instance) had truly been lost when it was remade, and I lament for this loss more than anything else. In terms of gameplay, yes, it’s more polished and I’d argue they had turned one of the most horribly-aged games to something that’s so damn fun to play, and I know that’s what matters the most when it comes to videogames in general, but I wish it had retained what made the original game so special to the people who have played it, despite of all of its faults. (As a disclaimer: I started with this game, however, I don’t have nostalgic attachment to it like a lot of people do; that nostalgia is for D2 in my case, as it was the first one that wholly captured the magic of Tales to me. However, that doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate D for what it was at the time.)

Sure, you can say more details are fleshed out (debatable for the characters, as I feel they have become more of flanderized or even outright contradictory versions of themselves at worst, and ‘softened’ at best, not allowed to act truly like humans at times, compared to their original counterpart with all their 人間臭い qualities), but is it worth it in place of muddying or even distorting the message it was meant to convey in the first place? I’ve said before that in my opinion, overcomplicated worldbuilding just for the sake of it is overrated. In trying to explain how the Swordians work in the remake, they changed the setting, but then the above doesn’t work anymore in this context. It’s gone. Just like that.

Making the characters more ‘palatable’ beats the purpose. I deliberately used the word 人間臭い because you know what? Yes, they stink, but you can feel the humanity exactly because of the stink. Humans are good, but humans are also bad. If you’re gonna say Stahn (or anyone for that matter) is not that special, then show it to me, show how human he can get. I’m not saying the original version of the characters are that well-written either, because honestly, they could’ve been fleshed out more... just not in the way how the remake does it, if you can call that fleshing out the characters. There are so many ways you could’ve expanded on them without truly erasing what made them charming in the first place. As well as, again, I want to believe the characters were created and written that way for a reason, and getting hung up in the details of these characters make a lot of people miss the point.

(There’s a beauty in Stahn having done all the things he did in the game because he believed he was destined to do so, but deep inside, even if he wanted to tell himself that, he was still doing all of these because he believed in what he had already believed, long before even meeting Dymlos. That’s an admirable character.)

(By the way, I know a lot of these issues also stemmed from how D2 tried to expand on the world of D though they can't even be consistent with D2 despite coming after it; for the record, I’m not absolving D2 for these problems either. However, at the same time, if you let my bias speak for just a moment, D2 is there to tell its own story. It doesn’t try to override D. The remake of D’s raison d’être is to be the definitive version of D. That’s the biggest problem there.)

These details don’t matter much to me, what matters is if these details truly serve their purpose, which in my opinion is the themes along with the messages. For me, everything has to begin with an intent, with a broad idea, as well as end with that intent, that idea. And I’m not sure if the remake manages to expand on the idea the original game represents... it just seems like they were confused about what D was really about in the first place. Applied to things like world and characters, it might make it seem like I don’t really care about the individuals, that it might make me seem so detached, but on the contrary, I want to appreciate something as a whole, and to appreciate that whole, I need to appreciate every individual element that is there, that is needed to build it. Because the individuals, when divorced from their contextual whole, mean almost nothing to me. They shine more because they work together to make up something that is whole.

#mino rambles #mino rants #/ #// #/// #sorry for once it's not about zesty but i have to get this out #though i know lately tales has been more and more... hm idk #commodified? #like look at all these character goods! #and stuff! #but they lost sight of what is truly important #/at least for me/ #and yeah all these spinoffs goods etc are fun stuff and i indulge in them too #but man #you could've been so much more... #this is also probably the only Big Negative thing i'll put out on my blog #though i can't promise on that #also this is why i said i Truly accepted that people see things differently from me #as in #they see value in different things than i do #plot characters worldbuilding etc don't mean jackshit to me if they don't serve the overall themes #that's the most important thing to me #and even then #i *know* different themes appeal to different people #this is what i mean by it #if people like the remake for the themes? it's totally fine #but i'm not gonna pretend they even remotely try to say the same things lol #and that's a problem for people who like the original

[willows-woes]

my autistic ass didn't understand there's a place to bring up the fact that autism used to be thought of as a schizo-spectrum disorder and there's almost every other place in which if you bring up psychosis people will go silent 🙁

#BUT IT'S INTERESTING!!!! I WANTED TO SAY MORE #THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE I COULD'VE SAID TOO ☹️

[floating--goblin]

hnghnh obviously i don't like dana but i don't dislike her as much as it would seem from how i clown on her. like that's all funny haha. but actually i'm thinking about her

#sm 2099 #she's giving daisy buchanan yknow #kind of naive/easily swayed. used to the finer things in life. not particularly profound #not because she lacks the capacity for it but ig just because she's been raised that way #she doesn't get the kind of conflict anyone in the o'hara family is dealing with because she's simply never had to experience that #and that's not necessarily her fault #but there's this fundamental fracture between them that can't be bridged #is she still shitty? yeah #but to be fair. from her perspective her fiance just started acting weird one day and then threw her out #does that explain hooking up with tyler stone? maybe not. cause who in the world would touch that man like girl what were you thinking #but no no jokes aside i get her thought process and i can't seriously hate her #she deserved better treatment from the writers too tbh cause she could've been more fleshed out #all the women in the comic could've been- that's why i love the way they rebooted lyla for spiderverse so much tbh #giving her more agency and making her an actual person #xina and dana deserve that kinda thing too :/ i guess xina got it better but still #dana was kind of just an accessory to various guys WHICH TO BE FAIR COULD'VE WORKED HAD IT BEEN AN INTENTIONAL THEME THEY WANTED TO EXPLORE #but i don't Think that was the case because like i said xina's writing had this problem too #just. man. what the fuck is this comic

[caffeinatedopossum]

Not triggering just personal

I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.

And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!

I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.

#anyway that felt good #i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here #i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is #its not just passively accepted #i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism #i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there #suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed #or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me #im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals #i dont know if i can ever change those things either #i dont know whats worse #the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person #or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed #it hurts so much you dont understand #it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways #but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love #it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult #and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that #i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes

[maeamian]

I don't mean to come off as harsh or rude, but the fact that we beat the shitty dude by multiple millions of votes but he got to be president anyhow and make three supreme court nominations because Mitch made up some traditions on the fly to let him, maybe doesn't show that we didn't vote hard enough in 2016 so much as the institutions of the senate and electoral college structurally bias republicans and are fundamentally undemocratic and I think any conversation that blames voters for how they interact with that system completely misses the fact that the systems are failures and failing us and at minimum a voting based strategy needs to acknowledge that some people's votes just flat out don't count or at least count significantly less thanks to these systems

#Just like I've voted in practically every election my entire life #I did miss one that I view as having been crucial and unfortunate #but one was not the vote difference in that election so my lack of vote there even didn't technically turn it #And things do keep on getting worse in spite of that #and I feel like maybe it's okay to look at these two things and wonder in what way they are related #I'm not saying give up on voting or whatever but my votes just flat out count for way less as a Californian #So I'm not sure what they want me to do about that if voting is the only solution to any problem #Luckily it isn't and I've spent years on election related issues #tbh this is also the fault of the Democratic party who could've seen any or all of this coming. #literally 'the GOP wants to take control of the judiciary to repeal the later half of the 20th century' was common knowledge #among activists when I was in high school back in the early 00's #And probably longer too that's just when I came into possession of it #As has been pretty much everything else they've tried to do or succeeded in doing #Like they aren't doing it in the dark it's just that Civic Society requires elected Dems to feign ignorance #Or at least they seem to think it does #Like for fuck's sake leadership won't even unendorse the last anti-choice dem in congress #And regularly have said 'focus on abortion access is bad for us' #so forgive me if I'm not lining up on the 'we just need more democrats' parade when we also need better Democrats #I'm allowed to demand they at least have a pro-choice litmus test before I go all in on them in response to this #I'm telling you that 'look what voting got us' isn't a cry to give it up but a cry to build power in other ways too #Not mad at anyone but OP of the post this is obviously responding to #But genuinely unimpressed with being chided about voting at this fucking point in history #It's just that I gotta share one good senator and one useless senator with San Fransisco #While the same population out in the midwest gets literally thirty senators #Just can't see how I'm supposed to vote my way out of a system where the winner isn't the person with the most votes

[ink-asunder]

I think going to school was literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

#and i have been assaulted on multiple occassions! #i'm writing some school-related scenes in a story and all of them are So Much to just write down and I am having Symptoms of Trauma #idk i think it was the constant disregard and downplaying of my rights as a human. the lack of bodily autonomy because i was a minor. #the relentless bullying from peers who literally called me It and That Thing and threw a fit if they touched me #being humiliated every time I Exhibited Being Human (like going to the bathroom during break or grunting while exhibiting physical Effort) #not to mention the time some kid sh-ed and said I bit him and the entire middle/high student body witnessed against me #when nothing could've physically taken place. and the principal literally told me (at least TRY to make your story believeable) #Not to mention how my family treated my grades. it was standard shit but at the same time. the fact that parents ALLOW the kind of abuse #that goes on in schools is among the most fucked up parts of our culture #parents don't give a shit. and they don't believe you. and They have it worse as adults so why are You complaining about having 6 hrs #of homework a night. and dedicating stupid amounts of time to school. and complying to a schedule that ruins your body #i literally homeschooled because i wasn't physically able to keep up with mainstream school. and homeschool was faster. 4hrs a day tops. #not to mention the teachers who were total creeps and totally assaulted several students. yeah parents believed that one too. #ugh i have ptsd from severe medical trauma (the aforementioned assaults...) but the idea that EVERYONE is going through this school shit #it hurts my soul more than my own traumatic experiences. this isn't okay. #anyway i'm 23 and dropped out of college but for any of you still going to school--please take care of yourselves. #i'm here i hear you and you need better.

[ornithic]

cons of watching someone stream a game i’ved played for 600+ hrs;

- i want to play it Again

#caw caw #this is about stardew v/alley................. </3 #one thing that i didn't see when i played is that all this time i could've!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRAFTED FIELD SNACKS FOR EASY HP + ENERGY #and i don't have to wait for salmonberry and blackberry season and hoard all of said fruit..................................... #well. i'm in late game anyway with most things in the highest quality possible and i already have a Big Stash of food hwesdhsghwghj #BUT /STILL/ i have so many maple seeds and acorns and pinecones from clearing out my farm #for crops and animals and decorating! #i like how there's different farm layouts and i went with the river one when i first started and then my current one #has the forest map! i like it a lot more <3 #the hilltop farm looks rlly cool too!!!!!! #elliot.................. i love him so much that i!!!!!!!!! MARRIED HIM TWICE #in my Old File i'm currently married to leah but i think i married penny at some point too? #like!!!!!!!! maybe when i got the game for the first time! #i'm a sucker for how poetic elliot talks when you're with him and i also like Fancy Men [pensive emoji[

[noxtivagus]

i seriously love music & stories so much

#🌙.rambles #i did not mean to ramble i told myself i'll be productive today but as usual i have a lot of thoughts. n it is my wont to just. #forget everything else n write.... #sigh i love listening to music sm n stories n words n wtvr just everything in the world. i take in everything. observe n analyze it all #i love. music. i love stories i love music sm as a form of story-telling & then w the emotion in it too? the way it cld be interpreted n #everything. yeah really just everything oh my god i cld ramble on n on. I HAVE SM TO RAMBLE ABOUT OH NO #the endless possibilities n opportunities in this world. the unknown future that fascinates me so much. the depth n beauty of creation 🥹 #for one i admire like. video game composers for making the ost fit so well into the game n #i'm so gay wait i looked at discord rq n looking at my silva pfp.... she's so pretty i lov her sm #hmmm thinking about some stuff n while i've always had a sort of interest for theatre n. appreciation ofc n. fondness for its aesthetic #i wna get more into it >< #me remembering i also really did love to paint when i was a kid i wish i cultivated that into a bigger skill :c #i remember i really did read so much books back then damn. i wna read n write again aaaa #i started piano when i was 7 n i had lessons for a few summers consecutively then stopped for a while n it's been so long now #but i remember my teacher then saying that. soon if i really cultivate that skill i really could've #i have regrets regarding that bcs in gr3 apollo n i also had this invitation to this math thing advanced lessons n all #i overshare too much on social media wait the words really flow when i get started this is why i don't rlly talk to others w these stuff :< #i'd love to i really do but i'm afraid of being too much or too little where it matters #that said though i really love. yk creation. this world being so full of creators making their own creations in their own way #i love thinking about how. there's so much things in the world that affects n influences. yeah. #help i am making no sense with my phrasing #infinite possibilites in life. surely there's no denying how daunting n intimidating n scary it may be #but god i live for. that. yk the. my curiosity hdfkdfjdlk #i cannot word nymore but :< i really love life so much thinking about all these sort of things give me so much comfort from #all the cruel pressure in this world. the burden of regrets. the feeling of loss and failure. #with. these as my wings. these moments these. emotions n thoughts i can indulge peace n time n comfort in. for my own self #perhaps i can fly free in my own way in my own time.

[shiningstages]

‘ i honestly believed in you . ’ @ lilia !

FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION) SENTENCE STARTERS PART ONE

@flovverworks

Blood-red eyes pierced the fading darkness, stabbing through Akira’s gaze like their words deserved to die. Yet they didn’t…Those held nothing but emotions warranted to berate the short warrior, and while he wanted to tell them off for not even knowing the first thing about how difficult all this had been, Lilia kept his mouth shut. Akira probably knew that too, and could only imagine all the emotions swirling within Lilia at the moment. 

How could these foreign wizards look up to him anyways, when he was just a stranger unbound by the technicalities of their lands and unwavering in his forceful way of interacting? He had practically jump scared every wizard in the mansion - at least, the ones who could be easily scared, and took precautions so no wizard would accidentally try to kill him upon reflex - and invaded all of their spaces with his endless curiosity and wonderment. And yet they were all varying levels of willing when it came to helping him get home, and even complimented him on his battle prowess and other unique skills. Training together, palling around, walking through various locations in order to teach him so many things - it almost felt like he was back at Night Raven College, or in the distant past with Malleus and Silver in Briar Valley. Doting on the younger wizards, watching trainees work hard every day towards their goals, and helping whip everyone into shape while also having a big dose of fun for himself. It almost made him let his guard down completely around them all.

Almost. Because, especially in a foreign land, you couldn’t be too careful about what unknown dangers lurked in the shadows. But Lilia never expected to lose against such forces. It was a request of monster extermination and supply protection given to the wizards that had more than they were prepared for, and of course blood was going to be shed because of it. Lilia just wished it had been his own, not Shino and Heathcliff trying to both protect each other and their newfound friend. Not knowing how exactly to use his magic against these foes, especially when he was still getting used to his new way of summoning it up in this world, proved a failure at the worst of times. It was desperation, after Shino had gotten so injured yet could barely stand, that made Lilia grab onto the two of them and teleport them back to the mansion. “Mission be damned,” he had said in front of a surprising crowd, leaving the injured wizards in front of Akira without another word before teleporting back to the den of monsters. It was barbaric then, after having sneaked a sword from the mansion, that he decided that none of these things should be kept alive. Supplies be damned; materials be damned; his own magic and wellbeing be damned; if blot worked in this world, he would certainly find out after quelling the rage in his heart with fresh deaths mounting on a long since abandoned counter. He wondered how impressed his queen would be to see these masses slaughtered so quickly, or would she shiver under a long forgotten thirst for war? Would Malleus and Silver try to stop his outrage with their own magic or persuasion? Would he even listen to them anymore?

All questions came and left as swift as the fight itself, yet the aftermath of both weighed heavy on him. His clothes were soaked in areas, but with the monsters’ blood or his own he wasn’t sure, yet didn’t care either way. He felt every ache in his body, emotional and physical, yet at once felt nothing at all but the gaping feeling of defeat. For he had promised to lead them and protect them, with that cheeky confidence he loved to wear, and yet he…

He slashed the sword through the air, all the blood that was on it practically becoming daggers hitting the nearby trees, before he began walking in the direction he pleased. He didn’t mind being lost in the woods for a millennia. Just as long as he took a nice walk to calm himself, that was what mattered. No thoughts of going home - to either home, for Malleus and Silver would be so disappointed in him, and Akira was certainly too busy to worry about him now. No thoughts at all, really. Just a walk until he could breathe and think again like normal.

And it was in the breaking dawn before he could do so, though he can’t help but think that Akira’s shouts from behind him also snapped him out of whatever darkness had possessed him, taking a deep breath in and out once the sage started speaking. And Lilia listened intently, yet didn’t dare turn around, instead taking his wand from his jacket’s chest pocket and staring at the tiny jewel inside. Dirty with dried blood, but underneath showed a shining green that stood the test of time. It was in his surprise at the small sight that Akira’s words struck him, turning quick on his heel to reveal the severity of his physical state - disheveled beyond belief, caked in dirt and dried blood, cuts and bruises that littered his body. Yet it was all deserved; another scene of a fight well fought, yet a sentence that painted out his failure in his heart. 

Any anger in him leaves with a soft gust of wind, all tension leaving his body as he continues to stare at the other, before looking done at his wand once more. “...I honestly did too.” muttered soft enough for another gust to carry it away, before pocketing his wand in a neat way that would make Silver chastise his sloppy appearance less. “All the more reason that I should get out of your hair sooner rather than later. I'm completely unreliable in my current state, though I am impressed with how well I did with this after so many years.” He looks over to the sword in his hand, raising it to inspect it - tip now dirty from being dragged through the ground - before doing impressive slashes and stabs in the direction of a nearby tree. If he could sheathe it, he would, but he just decides to stab it into the ground so as to never hold it again. “...Are Shino and Heathcliff recovering well? Sleeping like two babes while holding each other's hands, I would imagine?” An optimistic way of avoiding all the negatives, at least in Lilia’s mind, mustering up whatever smile he could for the sage as arms crossed over his chest. Akira would’ve taken care of them well, and they certainly would’ve taken care of each other through their bond, so he’s sure that they survived the night at the very least. If they had perished, though, Lilia was certain that all the creatures in the forest would be gone in the blink of an eye. Though he would certainly teleport Akira far away so as to not become collateral, for no matter how much they may hate Lilia now, Lilia couldn’t truly hate them yet.

#( lilia tbt ) #( the saddest thing: not having a lilia tag yet;;; #i'm sure i'll think of one soon #me; reading shino and heathcliff's wiki entries again: *points* lilia and malleus-core #they are like them yet not like them at all but my brain also likes this idea #and it makes me think that lilia would totally dote on those two because of how their relationship is #and how he could probably see flashbacks of his younger self in shino #being a warrior for briar valley and serving the queen and king faithfully and closely #and how; while it is still very different dynamics; the lord / servant role while still being best friends and trusted allies #yeah he vibes with that too much; especially when separated from his own charge and family #so shino and heathcliff are just my fav characters now; no future me don't say you like any other mhyk boys more; forbidden #that said also whoops poor shino / akira #like also poor heathcliff but i definitely feel like he was the more protected of the two friends #akira i'm so sorry but my wizard has been through a lot; i know your boys could've died but um pls be gentle here #ALSO WRITING LILIA ANGRY AND REGRETFUL WAS VERY FUN #like the only time he's gotten angry so far was book two when leona tried to basically murder malleus #and it was that very smirk-of-unhinged-potential kind of mean and downtalking to leona #and i can both imagine lilia seriously made being maniacal laughter and devoid-of-feeling deadpan rage #so um take your pick on what he was while slaughtering monsters~ #also said monsters are from my imagination because no sources had enemy info so :))) free real estate on that!!! )

[cactusdodes]

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#back on the L thing bc i can't fucking shut up about her #i do actually think she caught feelings too.. like it's one of those gut feelings/intuition but one where you just know it's true #but we were supposed to stay casual since she was moving anyway so there was no point in starting anything serious #so she tried to keep her distance when we weren't on dates but then when we were together she was so sweet and we just fit together so well #and it was so natural and easy and nice and it just worked #and then when she found out she'd have to move way sooner than expected #and we hadn't known that the last time we'd been together and then she was gonna have to be gone in a week and a half #and with us not meeting up again there would be no official goodbye and less pain in the moment #idk i could be wrong but i really don't think i am #idk i just miss her and i miss how easy and smooth everything was with her #and i really miss kissing her #like A was great and i liked kissing them because well.. making out is making out. it's pretty much always going to be fun #but it was so much more natural and smooth and right with L #and I literally could've just kissed her for hours on end and been perfectly content #madi says shit #and like i know in the past i've said that i know L didn't have feelings for me but i've been telling myself that bc it would be easier for #me to try and move on if i knew she never had feelings for me #so i've been trying to convince myself she didn't #blake says shit