#yeah he vibes with that too much; especially when separated from his own charge and family

[shiningstages]

‘ i honestly believed in you . ’ @ lilia !

FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION) SENTENCE STARTERS PART ONE

@flovverworks

Blood-red eyes pierced the fading darkness, stabbing through Akira’s gaze like their words deserved to die. Yet they didn’t…Those held nothing but emotions warranted to berate the short warrior, and while he wanted to tell them off for not even knowing the first thing about how difficult all this had been, Lilia kept his mouth shut. Akira probably knew that too, and could only imagine all the emotions swirling within Lilia at the moment. 

How could these foreign wizards look up to him anyways, when he was just a stranger unbound by the technicalities of their lands and unwavering in his forceful way of interacting? He had practically jump scared every wizard in the mansion - at least, the ones who could be easily scared, and took precautions so no wizard would accidentally try to kill him upon reflex - and invaded all of their spaces with his endless curiosity and wonderment. And yet they were all varying levels of willing when it came to helping him get home, and even complimented him on his battle prowess and other unique skills. Training together, palling around, walking through various locations in order to teach him so many things - it almost felt like he was back at Night Raven College, or in the distant past with Malleus and Silver in Briar Valley. Doting on the younger wizards, watching trainees work hard every day towards their goals, and helping whip everyone into shape while also having a big dose of fun for himself. It almost made him let his guard down completely around them all.

Almost. Because, especially in a foreign land, you couldn’t be too careful about what unknown dangers lurked in the shadows. But Lilia never expected to lose against such forces. It was a request of monster extermination and supply protection given to the wizards that had more than they were prepared for, and of course blood was going to be shed because of it. Lilia just wished it had been his own, not Shino and Heathcliff trying to both protect each other and their newfound friend. Not knowing how exactly to use his magic against these foes, especially when he was still getting used to his new way of summoning it up in this world, proved a failure at the worst of times. It was desperation, after Shino had gotten so injured yet could barely stand, that made Lilia grab onto the two of them and teleport them back to the mansion. “Mission be damned,” he had said in front of a surprising crowd, leaving the injured wizards in front of Akira without another word before teleporting back to the den of monsters. It was barbaric then, after having sneaked a sword from the mansion, that he decided that none of these things should be kept alive. Supplies be damned; materials be damned; his own magic and wellbeing be damned; if blot worked in this world, he would certainly find out after quelling the rage in his heart with fresh deaths mounting on a long since abandoned counter. He wondered how impressed his queen would be to see these masses slaughtered so quickly, or would she shiver under a long forgotten thirst for war? Would Malleus and Silver try to stop his outrage with their own magic or persuasion? Would he even listen to them anymore?

All questions came and left as swift as the fight itself, yet the aftermath of both weighed heavy on him. His clothes were soaked in areas, but with the monsters’ blood or his own he wasn’t sure, yet didn’t care either way. He felt every ache in his body, emotional and physical, yet at once felt nothing at all but the gaping feeling of defeat. For he had promised to lead them and protect them, with that cheeky confidence he loved to wear, and yet he…

He slashed the sword through the air, all the blood that was on it practically becoming daggers hitting the nearby trees, before he began walking in the direction he pleased. He didn’t mind being lost in the woods for a millennia. Just as long as he took a nice walk to calm himself, that was what mattered. No thoughts of going home - to either home, for Malleus and Silver would be so disappointed in him, and Akira was certainly too busy to worry about him now. No thoughts at all, really. Just a walk until he could breathe and think again like normal.

And it was in the breaking dawn before he could do so, though he can’t help but think that Akira’s shouts from behind him also snapped him out of whatever darkness had possessed him, taking a deep breath in and out once the sage started speaking. And Lilia listened intently, yet didn’t dare turn around, instead taking his wand from his jacket’s chest pocket and staring at the tiny jewel inside. Dirty with dried blood, but underneath showed a shining green that stood the test of time. It was in his surprise at the small sight that Akira’s words struck him, turning quick on his heel to reveal the severity of his physical state - disheveled beyond belief, caked in dirt and dried blood, cuts and bruises that littered his body. Yet it was all deserved; another scene of a fight well fought, yet a sentence that painted out his failure in his heart. 

Any anger in him leaves with a soft gust of wind, all tension leaving his body as he continues to stare at the other, before looking done at his wand once more. “...I honestly did too.” muttered soft enough for another gust to carry it away, before pocketing his wand in a neat way that would make Silver chastise his sloppy appearance less. “All the more reason that I should get out of your hair sooner rather than later. I'm completely unreliable in my current state, though I am impressed with how well I did with this after so many years.” He looks over to the sword in his hand, raising it to inspect it - tip now dirty from being dragged through the ground - before doing impressive slashes and stabs in the direction of a nearby tree. If he could sheathe it, he would, but he just decides to stab it into the ground so as to never hold it again. “...Are Shino and Heathcliff recovering well? Sleeping like two babes while holding each other's hands, I would imagine?” An optimistic way of avoiding all the negatives, at least in Lilia’s mind, mustering up whatever smile he could for the sage as arms crossed over his chest. Akira would’ve taken care of them well, and they certainly would’ve taken care of each other through their bond, so he’s sure that they survived the night at the very least. If they had perished, though, Lilia was certain that all the creatures in the forest would be gone in the blink of an eye. Though he would certainly teleport Akira far away so as to not become collateral, for no matter how much they may hate Lilia now, Lilia couldn’t truly hate them yet.

#( lilia tbt ) #( the saddest thing: not having a lilia tag yet;;; #i'm sure i'll think of one soon #me; reading shino and heathcliff's wiki entries again: *points* lilia and malleus-core #they are like them yet not like them at all but my brain also likes this idea #and it makes me think that lilia would totally dote on those two because of how their relationship is #and how he could probably see flashbacks of his younger self in shino #being a warrior for briar valley and serving the queen and king faithfully and closely #and how; while it is still very different dynamics; the lord / servant role while still being best friends and trusted allies #yeah he vibes with that too much; especially when separated from his own charge and family #so shino and heathcliff are just my fav characters now; no future me don't say you like any other mhyk boys more; forbidden #that said also whoops poor shino / akira #like also poor heathcliff but i definitely feel like he was the more protected of the two friends #akira i'm so sorry but my wizard has been through a lot; i know your boys could've died but um pls be gentle here #ALSO WRITING LILIA ANGRY AND REGRETFUL WAS VERY FUN #like the only time he's gotten angry so far was book two when leona tried to basically murder malleus #and it was that very smirk-of-unhinged-potential kind of mean and downtalking to leona #and i can both imagine lilia seriously made being maniacal laughter and devoid-of-feeling deadpan rage #so um take your pick on what he was while slaughtering monsters~ #also said monsters are from my imagination because no sources had enemy info so :))) free real estate on that!!! )

[itsbeaconhillsbaby]

(cruel) summer || tom holland x reader

a/n: well...this took me a lot longer than I expected. I can only apologise for how long this has taken, especially since the absolutely wonderful @glahmouur​ requested it so many months ago. I hope you’re still excited to read, and that I’ve done it justice for you. clinging onto the last of these summer vibes before my favourite time of year - and hopefully plenty more writing to come over the next couple of weeks! I’ve missed you all so very much. enjoy x  word count: 3735 (oops) warning: swearing, gross paparazzi, little bit of angst summary: it’s the summer of your dreams with your favourite people, something was always going to try and ruin it

The trip had been booked for months.

Tom, Harrison, Harry, Tuwaine and yourself. Mexico. 

Two whole weeks. 

No interruptions. No work. Just pure bliss. 

And, it was shaping up to be the most perfect break.

The first couple of days since you had landed included a lot of amazing food, sightseeing around the quaint picturesque villages and cultural landmarks, tackling hiking trails and joining in on the sports activities set up for you and the boys on the crystal white beaches. 

Your favourite part however, was the amount of quality time you got to spend with Tom. Both of you were considered workaholics, and you loved your jobs, but it meant that for the majority of the year you were in separate locations working on your own individual projects.

You both deserved, and needed, this break.

The timing couldn’t have been better, as across the two weeks you would be celebrating your 23rd birthday. Birthdays weren’t always something you and Tom could share together in person, but you would always make it work with FaceTime calls and the promise of a do-over when you were together again. 

“Hey!” 

You tore yourself away from the soft paperback that was resting warmly against your thighs.

“Hm?”

You look up at your boyfriend, strong arms hauling himself up against the hot paved edging of the pool. He shook his wet curls out of his hair, droplets springing from the tips. Tanned, freckled shoulders peeked out from beneath the water. The sun, strong and intense, commandeered the bright blue skies. A far cry from the cold, rainy weather you’d left back home in the UK. You were unwilling to make your way back to your hotel room in the sticky heat for your forgotten sunglasses, and were instead using your hand as a shield from the glaring rays. 

“The water looks good on you,” you flirt, smiling across at him from your position on the reclined sun-bed. 

He grins back at you, cheekily. 

“It’ll look better on you. Aren’t you coming in?” 

You pointed to the book nestled between your legs, “I’m reading, plus the water is freezing.” You teased him, training your eyes back onto the page. You heard brief splashing alongside the laughter of the boys as they continued to play their water basketball game. 

A shadow blocks out your sun, dripping water onto the hot concrete. 

“Yeah, no. Sorry, but that’s just not going to cut it birthday girl.” 

Before you had a chance to take in his words, Tom had scooped you up from your position on the sun-bed. The light droplets from his wet, messy hair chilling your tanned skin. 

“Tom! No! Put me down! What are you doing?” You laughed, lightly kicking your legs, “Wait, at least let me put my book down first.” 

You felt the grumbled laugh against your body, as you gently tossed your book onto the lounger. 

“Okay, go ahead.” 

He pressed a sloppy, wet kiss on your mouth - your hand knotted in the back of his wet, tangled hair as you pushed for more.

“Love you.” He said, before dropping you into the pool with a splash. 

“You suck, Holland!” You shouted back to him, once you’d come back up for air, shaking water out of your ears and trying to scoop your tangled web of hair out of your eyes as he laughed, eyes twinkling. ****

You continued to watch from your perch on the side-lines, legs tracing patterns in the water whilst the sun beat down across your back and shoulder blades. The boys continued to mess around in the water. Your book had been long since abandoned on your sun lounger, pages now curling with the heat. You couldn’t contain your laughter when Tuwaine jumped on Tom’s back, Harry on Harrison’s so the two teams could race from one end of the pool to the other, legs peddling in what seemed like slow motion under the water; raucous fits of laughter emanating from both parties as your cheered on your boyfriend.

You couldn’t help but be automatically drawn to Tom, his smile so wide and eyes creased with laughter as Tuwaine casually slung his arms over his shoulders. His hair was completely dishevelled from the water’s attempts to flatten it entirely. You could see a smattering of freckles breaking out across his nose, complete with a small shock of pink on his cheeks as he was officially branded by the sun. 

“Hey, pretty girl – forgive me yet?” Tom whined, swimming up to the edge to meet you. He gently pulled your legs further into the water, sliding himself between them, wrapping his arms around your waist as your legs wrapped themselves around his. 

You laughed, pushing against his broad shoulders.

“Not sure yet. I’m thinking about it.” 

He gave a toothy grin before peppering a small cluster of kisses against your lips, “You look so good.” He mumbled quietly against your mouth.

You rolled your eyes at him, before returning the kisses.

“Oi, get a room you two!” You laugh as Tom covers the front of you, ultimately taking the hit of water from Harry.

He gives you a light squeeze round the waist, and a soft kiss on the cheek whispering a quick, “Hop on.”  

Wrapping your arms across his warm shoulders, you eased yourself fully into the water, feeling the immediate chill up your sides before wrapping your legs around Tom’s waist. Leaning forward against his back, he held onto the backs of your thighs – propelling you both through the water.

As you arrive next to the boys, you lightly floated away from Tom and were pulled into a one-armed hug by Tuwaine. As Harry held up a fist for you to bump against, you flicked your wrist just under the surface of the water – splashing him as payback.

Tom tread water with the cheesiest grin on his face as all the boys’ eyes immediately trained on you.

“Come on then, what’s this ‘mermaids’ game you were talking about – and how do we play?” ****

The air con hummed lowly, wispy curtains gently blowing in the cool breeze from the open balcony doors. The ocean twinkled in the late afternoon sunshine. You were sprawled out on the large king-sized bed wrapped in one of the hotel’s fluffiest white towels, legs dancing in the air behind you. Lounging on your front, wet curls drying in the cool air you could hear the faint sound of spraying water from the en-suite shower. It soothed you as you continued to follow the written words on the pages of your, now slightly wrinkled and rough to the touch, paperback.

Your phone vibrated from the opposite side of the room, plugged in and charging atop the rustic, vintage vanity table where your new camera, battery pack and Tom’s wallet had all been left.

The camera had been a special gift from Tom which he’d surprised you with on your birthday, celebrated only the other evening. He’d been so giddy the morning of. The carefully, yet haphazardly, wrapped parcel had protruded just slightly from under the bed in the hotel room you shared, where he’d attempted to hide it. You pretended you hadn’t noticed. Puppy dog eyes shone as he eventually handed it across to you, surprising you in bed as the sun was going down, casting golden specks across your bodies, as he whispered a soft ‘happy birthday’ against your lips. Beaming at you once he saw your sheer shock and joy at his thoughtful gift, he had kept the first photo you’d taken in his wallet from that evening. Just the two of you - both sleepy shadows, full from all the sweet lemon sponge cake that has been especially ordered up to your room - cuddled together, legs entangled as you fell into each other’s embrace.

You’d all taken a boat to one of the smaller islands for a special celebratory dinner the next evening; where Harry had surprised you with the battery pack, his smart quick-thinking leaving Tom with a pink blush upon his cheeks. You thanked him with a smile, the rest of the crew spoiling you rotten with drinks and food. As the boys parted ways, you and Tom had waited around for the sunset, high off the sparkling, sweet tasting wine you’d both consumed all evening – bewitched by each other’s titillating company. A small wrap was knotted around your waist, as you had all stayed in your beachwear, black bikini top on show as a server snapped a picture of you both with your new camera per Tom’s polite request. The sun burned low behind you both, it’s vibrant orange glow glistening across the water towards the cove. 

Posting the photo in your wine induced haze, you captioned it with a simple 23 and a golden heart before tagging Tom in the blurry, sepia quality polaroid.

You knew the vibrating would be your phone going into overload. A common occurrence that happened anytime you posted a photo with your boyfriend, the hordes of fans coming in full throttle to interact in some way.

Leaving it to buzz in the background, you turned your attention to the bathroom door opening. Tom stepping out as he shook his wet hair, towelling it dry as it stuck up in multiple directions haphazardly.

“Come here.”

You sat yourself up, legs crossed beneath you as he walked over to you – that soft smile high on his lips.

He sat on the end of the bed as you brushed through his temperamental curls, “Please leave it curly,” you murmur, pressing your lips to his tanned shoulder blades, running your hands through the brown locks.

“We’ll match.” He said, turning to you as your hands fell back into your lap.

“Would it be too much?” You asked, as he gently tucked a rogue drying curl behind your own ear.

“Oh definitely. But I love it.”

With that, he pushed forward. Noses brushed as you both relaxed into each other’s embrace, mouths eagerly seeking out each other, the sweet smells of lotion and ocean spray engulfing you both.

****

“Right, it’s my round! Get your orders in!” 

The whole group hollered at Tom, who pressed a firm kiss onto your forehead as you tilted it upwards towards him, his two hands cradling either side of your head. Your eyes closed involuntary at the warmth before you turned to watch him leave the table and join the small crowd up at the bar. Dressed in a tropical patterned shirt, unbuttoned and billowing just slightly due to the aircon, you took a minute to admire him from afar. He worked hard to look the way he did, muscles contracting and relaxing again with each breath. 

You pulled the thin material of your summery dress down further, eager to cover up some of the bare skin you had on show after seeing Tom’s. You paled in comparison to the web-slinging actor, and sometimes if you focussed on it too much you couldn’t understand why such a gorgeous man would be interested in you. 

“Hello. Anyone in there?”

A hand waved in front of your eyeline. Shaking your head, you returned your attention back to the table where the boys were trying to mask their laughter. 

“She can’t take her eyes off him for two minutes. Outrageous.” 

“What? I’m on holiday, leave me alone!”  

Tuwaine smirked slightly, as Harrison patted your arm reassuringly.

“Why did we agree to have a couple on this trip again?” Harry complained cheekily, grinning his cheesy grin at you. You reached an arm across the table and pushed a hand against his forehead, playfully shoving him back.

“Shut up, you love me.”

As Tom came back with the tray; a colourful array of cocktails, shots and ciders, the group continued to laugh and joke around, cheers-ing to your recent birthday and to the remainder of their holiday under the heat of the Mexican sun. 

**** “Uh oh, incoming Tom.”

Everyone was rosy cheeked as they tumbled out of the restaurant, laughing and giggling as the sun cast its low golden glow over the glistening blue waters. Waves gently caressed the edge of the shore as you revelled in the drunken clinginess of your boyfriend, and the support and love of your friends. 

You walked with Tom - the pair of you in your own little bubble, as he tucked you into his side, his arm slung casually across your shoulders as you wrapped yours around his waist. You could hear the thumps of his beating heart beneath the now buttoned up fabric of his shirt.

As the words spilled from Harry’s mouth, catching you all off guard mid conversation, Tom whipped his head round; immediately sobering up as his arm tightened around your shoulders. You peeked over his.

Behind a cluster of people, the striking black camera was obvious as the paparazzi pushed forwards, eager to catch a glimpse of the web-slinger himself.

You felt a brush of cold air sweep over your body, the hairs on your arms rising like tiny pinpricks as little goose bumps littered your skin. You straightened up, unwrapping yourself from Tom’s side.

“You okay?” He murmured into your ear, eyes hardening as he focussed on the path ahead of him whilst navigating the drunken, bustling crowds.

You nod.

“How did they even find us?”

You could sense Tom’s frustration and anger at the situation, resting a comforting hand on his arm. You knew what this meant, if the paparazzi had caught wind of where you all were, it wouldn’t be long before they figured out where it was you were staying and you couldn’t imagine that they’d leave Tom alone for the rest of his trip.

“I posted a photo the other night. Someone could’ve recognised the restaurant.”

It was during your worried ramble that the shouting started, camera-wielding men desperate to get a photo of Tom.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault, okay? Let’s just head back.”

Your heart was racing as you were led through the dimly lit cobbled streets of the small village, losing Tom’s hand you were flanked by Tuwaine and Harrison – Harry hurrying up ahead with Tom. The camera shutters were getting louder and louder, the constant clicking ricocheting off the stone walls surrounding you as you attempted to block out the shouting and the grabbing hands of the people around you. The once happy, bustling streets now felt claustrophobic.

It was so easy to forget who Tom was in regards to his public image and celebrity status when you were together. Forcing you to recall that he wasn’t just your boyfriend, he was suddenly an A-list celebrity, ‘Spider-Man’ himself. Back home you could easily be together in public without too much attention – only having to accommodate for the occasional fan photo or dinner interruption. Premiere’s and special events weren’t so bad because the press was supposed to be there, and whilst extremely intimidating, you understood it was part of the job.

You noticed Tom and Harry slip down a small alleyway to the right, a blink and you’ll miss it move – as you and the boys continued up the cobbled paths to the main street. It was a distraction technique discussed every time the five of you went out together and had to deal with any irritating situation.

“They said they’re getting a car, and they’ll meet us back at the hotel.”

As Harrison organised your transport, you reached the main road – twinkling lights from the city and the roaring of cars sweeping past you. The paparazzi slowed behind you, their shouts less desperate now that it was obvious Tom was no longer with the group. Their frustration was obvious as they all grouped together, scanning through the photos that they had managed to sneakily take.

Then there was a stupid comment.

As the paps brushed past you all, one leaned in far closer than you had anticipated, stabbing a pointed finger straight into your chest and leaning in close.

“Think you’re so special. Girl like you. So many other beautiful girls out there.”

Whilst the language was slightly broken, you pieced enough together before Tuwaine stepped in front of you both.

“What the hell man! Fuck off, you’re just a bully, why don’t you just leave her alone, yeah? Pick on someone your own size!”

You grabbed at Tuwaine’s arm, shaking your head in silent surrender.

“Just leave it. It’s okay. It’s not worth it.”

“I just hate them so much. Never let anyone have a bit of privacy. Constantly looking to bring people down, and start fights - assholes!” He shouted down the road at the small cluster of men as they continued on their way, “Are you okay?”

You nodded, “I’m fine. They’re just mad they didn’t get their picture. Let’s just get out of here. Should probably make sure that they don’t follow us back to the hotel.”

Harrison came jogging over, hand beckoning to follow him to a sleek black car parked just around the corner.

“Car’s here,” He paused for a minute. Noticing your smaller stature and Tuwaine’s puffed out chest and frown, he tilted his head, “We all okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good. Let’s go.”

Smiling a small, grateful smile you gave Harrison’s arm a comforting squeeze before sliding onto the black leather seats.

***** “Can’t even give us a couple weeks off. I love this job. But I would pack it all in if it meant that paparazzi just fucking left us alone.”

“Tom. Think we should call it a night.”

Harrison nodded over at you. Whilst your body was curled into Tom’s frame, your eyes unfocussed, having found a spot on the wall to gaze into as the boys all had a drink in the private hotel lounge.

You didn’t want to admit that the photographer’s words had any impact. And you really didn’t want to bring down the light-hearted, fun energy that your vacation had been full of. You were usually so good at brushing off any unwarranted comments, which were usually inevitable seeing as your boyfriend had such a large fanbase. There was no way everyone was going to like you, and you could cope with that. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been doing so for ages now. But whether it was the alcohol you’d already consumed, or something else – you just couldn’t stop thinking about what the man had spat at you.

Tom’s body shifts beneath you, holding out a hand for you to take as you both rise from the luxurious chaise. Shaking your head out of your daze, you smile softly as you grasp his hand and haul yourself up.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow okay. Thanks for tonight boys, and sorry for ruining it.”

“Tom, you didn’t-” Tom waved them off with a shrug, before sliding his arms across your shoulder and entwining your fingers at the other side.

“Night guys.” It came out as more of a whisper, as you processed to walk with Tom up to your floor, your head nestling gently into his collarbone.

****

The hotel room was suffocating.

You lay on your side, facing the firmly locked balcony doors. The room was cold. The air conditioning incessant with its obnoxious whirring. There was a rustle. The thin cotton sheets slide across your body as Tom hops in next to you.

“I’m sorry.”

His soft words caused your entire tension-filled body to exhale.

“Tom.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were closed, tiny creases etched into the space between his eyebrows. Tom didn’t like being vulnerable, you knew he was staving off his true feelings – the striking anger that was coursing through his body. Gently smoothing the creases out with your fingers, he leaned ever so slightly into your touch.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault.”

You pressed a soft kiss on his brow bone before settling in next to him, bodies warm to the touch.

“I love you. You know that, right? Whatever they’re all saying, it’s rubbish.”

The lump in your throat that you had been impressively swallowing down all evening came back to the surface, the pressure building.

“How did you know?”

He shrugged.

“I saw some of the comments.”

The pictures had been released pretty quickly. By the time you had all arrived back to the hotel they were already circulating across the internet, which people took as the perfect opportunity to hurl insults at your social media pages.

He shifts his head to the left to look at you, eyes softening.

“Hey. You can let it out. It’s just me. C’mon.”

You curl further into him, as his lips caress your forehead.

“People suck.” You mumble into his chest as he wraps himself around you, lightly trailing his fingers up and down your arm, the skin bursting with tiny goose bumps. You revelled in the soothing comfort.

“Sometimes I just forget. I forget that there are thousands – maybe even tens of thousands - of people out there who just don’t like me,” Tom squeezes you that little bit tighter, “And it’s okay. I don’t mind, really. I just wish they didn’t have to be so vocal about it – about how I look, how I act, how I dress. About whether I’m good enough.”

“You are good enough. You’re more than good enough. You’re amazing.”

Your lips pull up into a small smile as you look into those concerned brown eyes.

“You’re biased.”

He let out a small huff, chest vibrating beneath you, “Am not.” He sighed, those fluffy brows saying a thousand words, “I’m supposed to make all that crap better, not make you feel worse because of some so-called fans on the internet, and those stupid idiot paps; I’m so sorry.”

“Maybe if you just…weren’t so damn attractive. That would help.”

You both laughed.

“Oh, really?”

You nodded, as he pulled you in, peppering more soft kisses along your temple until he made his way down to your mouth.

“You’re ridiculous. And beautiful.”

Another kiss.

“And smart.”

Another kiss.

“And kind.”

Another kiss. “And I am so in love with absolutely everything about you. You’re enough. You’re everything.”

You felt your eyes glossing over. Scrunching your nose to avoid an onslaught of overdue tears, you felt Tom move beneath the covers – his arms wrapping around your torso, his curly messy hair resting on your stomach.

“I love you too.”

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfic #tom holland one shot #harry holland #harrison osterfield #tuwaine barrett #lisa writes #lisa takes 10000 years to write more like

[thetrap]

why i think deancas just might go canon

i’ve been wanting to write this for a bit, but i haven’t really had the time until now. basically this is just a super unorganized collection of thoughts i have on why i think that dean and castiel actually have a fairly decent shot of becoming canon (and by decent shot i mean like.....a solid 5% chance. and that’s being generous). this is based off of the show itself (obviously), quotes from andrew dabb, and other things.

1. andrew dabb is deancas positive

i made a post a while back that never made it out of the drafts, but it was basically a summation of all the good deancas shit dabb has given us as a writer. here are the bullet points:

- the hug/"i'm not leaving here without you!" moment in purgatory (8x02) 

- "don't lose it over one man"

- "he's in love.....with humanity"

- cas/colette parallel ("dean. stop.") in 10x22

- just the fight scene from the prisoner in general like......wow

- sam/jess and dean/cas parallel in 12x23

- "we've lost everything......and now, you're gonna bring him back" + dean's just generally overwhelming grief in 13x01

- "and how is it that you lost dean? i thought the two of you were joined at the.....you know, everything"

and these are just the big moments.

also notable is the fact that an activist sent dabb (and some of the other producers of spn i think) a book about dean and cas and why the fans want it/why it would be a good thing for the show. a few years later, meghan fitzmartin (who wrote the most recent episode!) was hired as dabb’s assistant, went into his office and posted a tweet a with pictures of the book, saying something along the lines of “doing some reading for work!”

the fact that dabb actually kept a fanmade deancas book for years.....the fact that he’s consistently written episodes with really strong subtext for years.....the fact that the dean and castiel romantic tension has only picked up since he took over as showrunner (mixtape, lily sunder, cas’s death, dean’s grief arc, the entirety of season fifteen, etc.)......idk i just think it’s really interesting that there has been such a marked shift since he was put in charge.

2. the mixtape

i know this was a few seasons ago, but it’s still relevant because like. a mixtape is not platonic. this scene was not platonic. full-stop.

and it’s not even the act by itself; it’s also the dialogue!! “it was a gift. you keep those.” this is more than likely a direct callback to aragorn and arwen in lord of the rings (that’s the first thing i thought of, at least).

the fact that dabb let this slide, like......he knows what this looks like. berens and glynn, who wrote this episode, know what it looks like. they knew precisely how this would be perceived, and then wrote and aired the scene anyways.

and that’s not even getting into the camerawork. like what?? was this shot???

yeah so. definitely not platonic.

3. the trap

honestly i thought about just posting this part of this overlong essay thing, because to me, this is the episode where i went okay, so this might actually happen.

there are SO many things in this episode that made me go insane the first time i watched it (”i left, but you didn’t stop me”) but the thing that stuck out to me the most was dean’s reaction to castiel saying, “you don’t have to say it. i heard your prayer,” when dean tries to tell him something.

like?????? he does not look relieved!! nor does he look particularly happy!!

hell, if you go back and watch the video you can literally see him swallow his words down like....jensen ackles is the master of micro expressions and that shit is Not Accidental. this moment 100% gives the vibe that there is something that is not being said. the camera following dean as he gives cas a lingering look is really interesting too.

3. dabb’s comments about dean and cas in season 15

this part is actually sort of related to the point above, since a lot of dabb’s comments are in reference to “the trap.” here are some interesting ones that i want to point out:

But the Leviathan won’t be the focal point of the purgatory story. Rather, it’s about what Dean and Castiel are going through. “They’re not going to resolve the emotional stuff, but it allows them to redefine their friendship a little bit in light of what’s happened especially earlier this season,” Dabb says. (x)

the key thing here is that dabb said that, in 15x09, dean and cas are “not going to resolve the emotional stuff.”

now. i don’t know about you, but dean falling to his knees, praying to cas and weeping feels a lot like emotional resolution to me. like, sure, things will probably be awkward between them for a while, but surely this is the peak moment of their emotional vulnerability with each other, right? surely this is the moment where they’ve resolved the issue between them? like how the fuck does it get more intensely emotional than this??

yet dabb seems to be implying that it will, which leaves us with the million dollar question: what is left about dean and cas’ relationship to resolve?

keep in mind that as of 15x16, there hasn’t been much forward movement on that front; that is, we’ve had some cute moments between them, but in terms of serious conversation about their relationship, there’s been basically nothing. so we can assume that this development, whatever it is, will occur in 15x18, since dean and cas will be separated for most of 15x17, as cas will be off with sam.

aka the episode where cas will likely get yanked away by the empty. aka the episode with the teary (!!!) conversation we saw in the promo between dean and cas.

also notable from the above quote is dabb saying that dean and cas are redefining their friendship. like....redefining how? to what?? that wording is just really interesting to me.

another quote from dabb re “the trap”:

(x)

it forces them to “start that process.” indicating yet again that the prayer scene between dean and cas is not the moment where whatever is between them is resolved. yet, from where we are right now, dean and cas seem mostly fine. which means that whatever they have yet to work out doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their fight.

lastly:

a really significant chunk of what happens to dean in 15x09 is him confronting his issues with cas. don’t get me wrong - there are other important things that happen in the episode - but the fact that an episode where so much time/emotional energy is given to dean and cas’ dynamic is considered a turning point for dean is very notable and, to me, speaks to the importance of their relationship for the rest of the season.

4. dean/cas and sam/eileen being set up as units

i’m of the opinion that sam and dean will (by choice) go their separate ways at the end of the show. i think this for a variety of reasons that i wrote about here, and to add onto this, i think that dean/cas and sam/eileen are, in a way, being set up as two units.

this theory comes from two points:

1. the fact that eileen got brought back at all

this isn’t to say that eileen isn’t an interesting character all on her own/outside of her romance with sam, but the fact that they brought her back and then proceeded to set her up in this romance feels really significant to me. what’s especially interesting is how, even after she leaves in 15x09, we get a continuation of their romance in 15x14. i don’t necessarily think that she’s sam’s endgame in the sense that the final episode will show sam going to her or whatever, but i do think that part of the reason she was brought back was so that sam would have someone who he loves/someone he could potentially build a life with after he and dean defeat chuck.

2. the way the two couples were portrayed in “the trap”

like....just watch the future scenes in the bunker. there’s very much a sense that these are two couples living together. and “ever since the mark made cas go crazy, ever since i had to bury him in a ma’lak box.” note the use of i, not we. and then dean/cas and sam/eileen are directly paralleled when dean tells sam he needs to give it up after eileen’s death, comparing it to how dean has given it up after having to bury cas in the ma’lak box.

5. dean does not do Well without cas

this is probably an understatement. there have been a couple of notable instances in this season where the viewer is given a glimpse of what happens to dean when cas dies/is in danger of death/is separated from dean (in case the whole ass widower arc in s13 wasn’t enough).

two of these are from “the trap”:

1. dean freaking out/crying/praying when he’s separated from cas in purgatory

2. dean giving up on life/hunting after burying cas in the ma’lak box in the future world

3. dean’s reaction to cas temporarily going to the empty in 15x13

the one i want to spend the most time on is number two, in large part because sam was witness to it and i think that this might get brought up in 15x17.

part of my spec for that episode is that cas will tell sam about his deal/sam will find out somehow, and in reaction sam might tell cas about how dean reacted to his death in s13 - a conversation that was notably absent from the show when cas finally returned in 13x05. i also think that he might mention no. 2 above, basically telling cas that if he dies, dean is done. that he won’t be able to handle it/move past it. the show has been telling us this over and over for a while now, and it’s only been emphasized more in season 15. i think that 15x17 is the episode where this will finally be verbally expressed.

to me, all of this emphasis on dean giving up when cas is gone isn’t for nothing. in my opinion, it’s being done very purposefully to set up an endgame where dean and cas are together in some sense of the word. and a lot of what i’ve said above is what makes me think it’ll be a Romantic together.

5. bobo berens’ three part deancas saga

so we all know that berens is pretty much spn’s foremost deancas warrior, and what i want to point out here is how this season has been utilizing him as a writer.

this season, berens has three solo episodes (he wrote “galaxy brain” with meredith glynn):

1. the rupture

2. the trap

3. despair (formerly known as “the truth”)

so far, these first two episodes have had major deancas moments. you could even label them as:

1. the rupture (the breakup)

2. the trap (the reconciliation)

3. depair (???)

keep in mind also that berens wrote 14x18, where the dean and cas sort of had a preliminary breakup. he’s been in charge of this arc for a while, and the fact that so much of his writing this season has been deancas focused.......i don’t know, i just think it’s significant in part because, while berens has always been deancas positive, he also writes plenty of episodes that aren’t focused on dean and cas. but now, in the final season, the dean and cas emotional arc has been handed to him, and it’s been the primary focus on his writing.

(sidenote: berens was promoted to executive producer for this final season)

to me, this is all leading to a big moment between dean and cas in 15x18 - and the fact that it was at one point called “the truth,” only to be switched back to despair - makes me think that there will be some sort of confession involved. my money is on cas being the one to say it (especially since this would line up with the leak), especially given the glimpse we saw of (what might be) this moment in the promo. which leads me to...

6. cas does not cry

i saved this for last because the promo where we see teary-eyed cas is actually what pulled me back into this shitshow.

cas does not cry. like. ever. he got a little teary in 15x15, when jack told him of his plan to sacrifice himself, but we have never - never - seen him shed actual tears. and in the promo, particularly that shot where cas says “you have fought for this whole world,” it 100% looks like cas is about to cry cry.

cas has seen his son die. he has seen dean die. he died himself, over and over and over. and we have never seen him cry.

yet for some reason, in this moment of vulnerability with dean, he’s crying. i find it highly unlikely that cas would cry because of his impending death, for a number of reasons (for one, he wouldn’t want to upset dean more than he has to). so, assuming he’s not crying because of his own death, then what is making cas so emotional that he is genuinely crying for the first time in the twelve seasons he has been on the show?

my guys.....i can only think of one thing.

#THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG OH MY GOD #i'm so sorry for this i just have SO many thoughts about this and had to get them all down #disclaimer: i still think it's highly unlikely we'll get confirmed romantic deancas #but i do think there's a chance #and this is why #deancas #destiel #s15 spoilers #spec

[bciwasinlove]

how would you analyize or interpret the song walls?cause i‘ve heard a lot of people say it‘s a break up song as it‘s written in past tense and basically saying he‘s stronger now after a break up (maybe even from a toxic relationship), he‘s risen above it and it doesn‘t really sound like a love song about an ongoing romance, does it?

Hi anon this is going to be a long one bc there is no quick answer to this so just know you asked for this.

First let's get one thing straight the ones who claim Walls [the album in general] is a break up album are the "Rads" short for Radical Louies. Essentially they are toxic louies who once were a larry shipper [not even a real larrie] but now hate Harry bc their mad Louis hasn't gotten the same promo and solo opportunities Harry has and some how in their eyes that's Harry's fault. They don't see it was Syco trying to sabotage Louis and in no way is Louis being sabotaged Harry's fault. Rads try to twist the truth and believe Harry left Louis for fame so since they hate Harry they have twisted the meaning of Walls to in their head a break up from a toxic relationship. They also really want LT2 to be a HUGE SHADE break up album which is 100% not the case so don't believe their crap.

Tho I heard you may have sent this same ask to others [who probably ignored you] so there is a chance you are a rad trying to find out what larries believe. Either way if you are a confused larrie or an undercover rad you probably need this info that no one else will bother giving you the time of day to tell you but I myself thought why not I'll answer you.

Second Louis and Harry have been happily in love for 10 years and have not officially broken up. Yes they have had issues like any couple does but it did not stem from eachother their issues stemed from them being forcibly closeted, the stunt gfs and their labels thus their songs are not break up songs but songs about not being able to be free and forced to fake date others when all they want is to publicly be with the one they love.

Now that that is out of the way here's why Walls is about Louis loving one person and one person only since he was 18. I'm doing the whole album [minus TOU] bc it is impossible to state why Walls the song is not a break up song without mentioning the others like Too Young [which rads also claim as a break up song] bc the album as a whole paints the whole picture.

Bree's analysis on Walls

Kill My Mind:

You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.

KMM is definitely the sexual song of Walls [not No Control type sexual but just we click right from the start sexual] It has the I just met you and we are figuring one another out vibe [both physically and just as people] and how right from the start Louis craves Harry and his attention. It has a similar vibe to Watermelon Sugar which Harry said is about the euphoria of falling in love and the way the other person makes you feel right from the start. Louis in KMM is saying I've just meet someone and they are now all I think about, crave and I don't know how I would be able to live without them.

Don't Let It Break Your Heart:

And I know you left apart of you in New York under your bed in a box, but your doing better.

Flashback to HS1 "Ever Since New York" seems like they both love to mention something happening in NY with their lover. We may never know what happened but it's always a funny coincidence when they mention the same places in their songs almost like their singing about the same situation.

Life gets hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it's not enough when the highs to high and the lows to low when you love somone and they let you go.

As I stated before their issues involved the stunts [fake dating women] so when Louis says love someone and they let you go he means when his lover gave into what they were being told to do for the sake of their careers. As young as they were when this all started it's hard not to think they may have fell for the lies being fed to them. So Harry let "Louis go" by being seeing with a ton of women gaining himself the brand of "lady's man" while also being forced to watch Louis be with someone else [Eleanor] and publicly act like that was the one he loved. Harry wrote the song Just a Little Bit of Your Heart which is a prime exactly of those feelings. Harry loves Louis so much but he only gets to love him privately while Eleanor gets to loves him publicly and as Harry wrote a little bit of your love is better then none.

Were driving down a one way road to something better. What hurts you is going to pass you'll be doing better.

This shows they know the pain all the bad things thrown their way won't stick around forever. They will overcome this and one day they will see the light at the end of the tunnel or the rainbow after the storm.

We Made It:

Cause we made it, Underestimated and always underrated. Now we're saying goodbye waving to the hard time yeah it's gonna be already.

Do I need to explain it I would say the title alone and this chorus makes it very clear. Break up who when where how? They had hard ships but NOT from their own doing. WMI is about how decpite all they were put through they made it. Flashback to Harry HS1 tour with Kacey in a rainbow dress at MSG in front of 36k people singing "[their/where] still together still going strong." They want you to know nothing will break them apart no matter how hard anyone tries. We are keeping the bad in the past and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about. Things we'd never say to someone else out loud.

This reminds me of their Xfactor days or early 1D tour days bc in 1D interviews it was always made clear they would share rooms and also how on the bus Louis bunk was filled with his junk so where did he sleep then? Also there are many former Xfactor contestants that have come out and said they were forced to be in the closet on the show. Flashback to an article claiming the people in charge of the 2010 Xfactor season tried to hide and keep a same sex couple apart wonder who that was? That line is about when they were young and the late nights they spent together wondering how their future was going to go. They were still just big smiles, wide eyed, oblivious young boys when they imagined only good things to come of the future with them and the band.

We were only kids just trying to work it out. Wonder what they'd say if they could see us now?/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.

We were only kids [when Louis fell in love with said person] and we're so young reminds me of Harry's song To Be So Lonely where he says "Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy." They both mention falling in love at a young age and both mention how after all this time they are still just as in love as back then but just a little less naive/oblivious. They are both hinting at a higher person [their label/management] who didn't approve of their love and telling them it wasn't going to work out. Harry going you can't be mad at me I was only a boy and Louis going wonder what would happen if they saw us now meaning look we didn't let you win. They tried so hard to separate Louis and Harry but it didn't work and Louis wants us and THEM especially to know they are still very much together, they handled it as best at they could and they weren't going to let them keep Louis and Harry apart.

Meet you at your uni, cheap drink, drink em all night

This is what we call a stunt line to push a narrative. Harry does stunt songs [Carolina and Cherry] while Louis does stunt lines. This line is suppose to allude to the album being for Eleanor [bc she went to Manchester Uni] but the rest of the album is so clearly not for her. If this song was about a break up from Harry then why would they bother adding in a stunt line about Eleanor when the public story is El and Louis are happily still together with Louis planning to marry her? Unless Walls isn't a break up album and it's very loudly Louis declaring him and Harry are still happily together and they wanted to try and force the image that Louis is happily in love with Eleanor. Also funny how this album is gender neutral and has no she pronouns in it unlike Zayn's new album having she pronouns.

Too Young:

We were to young to know we had everything. Too Young, I wish I could've seen it all along. I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no we were to young

This song is all about how when Harry was only 16 and he was 18 [Louis himself saying the song is about meeting the one at 18] he was to young to realize he had the best lover he was ever going to have, he had it all. As I said before issues in songs = management/stunts and this is Illuding to how Louis let them minupulate them and do what it was they wanted aka stunting and forcing Louis to be with Eleanor and Harry have a "lady's image" since he was only 16 and Louis now looking back and realizing he should have fought harder. Louis at the time didn't realize how much all this would hurt Harry having to share Louis [once again Just a Little Bit of Your Heart is Harry's feelings about that] and its once he's older he realizes what he did to hurt the only one who he ever truly loved and it pains him to know he put his lover through that even if it wasn't Louis fault Harry went through that.

I've been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I've ever known. Oh I can't believe I gave in to the pressure. When they said a love like this would never last. I didn't know no better now I realize yeah I realize.

So similar to before he's saying Harry is all he's ever known and him giving in to the pressure was about agreeing to fake date Eleanor and allow them to be heavily closeted. Reflecting back on those days he regrets so much what he agreed to do. They said a love like this wouldn't last is their management/label not agreeing with them being together and how two boys in a boyband marketed towards young women won't last, they won't sell records as an out gay couple with Louis believing their lies for a bit and he now regrets ever thinking they were right. This is a reflection song of not understanding what he had when he was so young but he sees it clearly now and he will never let THEM win he loves Harry and won't ever let him go ever.

Walls:

These high walls, they came up short now I stand taller then them all. These high walls never broke my soul and I watched them all come fallin down for you.

The high walls he refers to is all the assholes who tried to break him, break Harry and tried to ruin his career out of spite. This is towards the ones who told him they would never succeed being as they are a committed gay couple. Louis for a time believed them when they said their love wouldn't last, no one will want to listen to their music as a gay couple but eventually he realized they were wrong and those walls he had up filling him with doubt and insecurities were broken down. He allowed his "high walls" to come down because Harry was worth the effort it took to bring them down.

So this one is a thank you for what you did to me. Why is it that thank you's are often bittersweet? I just hope I see you one day and you say to me, Oh.

This is what one calls a metaphor he does not mean a physical person he means the walls he had up for a long time making him feel so insecure bc of how some of the people around him that made him feel so worthless crushing his spirt for so long. The metaphorical person he is thanking for helping him become the person he is today is the wall he broke down. The hardships he dealt with when he was younger got him to where he is today.

For every question why you were my because

Why am I still fighting?

Why have I not given up yet?

The because to his question is his lover HERE is where he directly refers to his lover. Harry is someone who is worth fighting for and will always be one of the reasons he hasn't stopped fighting. He loves Harry more then anything and will fight until the day he can publicly hold his hand, publicly post pictures of them together, publicly go on dates and publicly declare his love for him.

Habit:

You're the habit that I can't break, you're the feeling I can't put down, you're the shiver that I can't shake, you're the habit that I can't break, you're the high that I need right now.

Written over and over throughout the song these are some of the most important lines he wrote about Harry. It's Louis way of saying even if he wanted to, even if it would be easier for him and Harry he can never let him go. Harry's version of this is in Adore You when he sings "You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing and you don't have to say you're mine. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it's the only thing I'll ever do." Harry is saying even if publicly you can never say you love me I know you do and I will do anything for you because I am madly in love and could never let you go. They both would go through hell along side each other then being partially happy and the other not being by their side. Harry is the only one he ever wants to spend his life with and no matter what hardships they are put through there is no scenario where being without each other is a better alternative.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be but honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

The line of all lines he took time away bc he was tired of the facade of faking what makes him happy, faking loving some girl, faking being anything but himself. He's back now and knows without a doubt who he is and is proud of it. No more confusion, no more lies he loves a curly haired dimpled boy and no one will tell him he can't love him. Harry's version of this is the chorus of Lights Up "All the lights couldn't put out the dark, runnin' through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are. Do you know who you are? Shine step into the light, shine so bright sometimes, shine I'm not ever going back." They both tell you they have figured out whi they are and are very proud of who they have become and no one will tell them they can't be anything but themselves. They WILL scream it out loud and proud letting everyone know who they love one day [as if 16 and 18 year old H&L didn't already do that.]

And it's been ages, different stages come so far from Princess Park. I'll always need ya in front of me, in front of me

Oh the line that shocked every larrie I know. When he first sang this song and we first heard this line at a live concert everyone was shocked because we all knew what their was only one meaning to it. It was such a drastic line that the Elounors tried to claim he sang Starbuck [until the official lyrics came out.] Princess Park is the name of the apartment/flat complex all of the 1D boys lived in after the Xfactor BUT Niall, Liam and Zayn had their own apartment/flat while Louis and Harry shared one and they always made it very clear to everyone they met that they lived together.

So in a love song Louis sings about how him and his lover have come so far since their Princess Park days and his lover will always be the one he needs. Putting Harry's fav love song Sweet Creature plus Louis line about his lover together it would read " And, oh, we started two hearts in one home, come so far [since] princess park. I'll always need you in front of me. Wherever I go you bring me home" you do the math here. Their lyrics sink up just as much as their tattoos do.

Always You:

I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you and oh-oh-oh I should've known

The Amsterdam line one of those lines that can be fact checked and proven to not be for Eleanor. So Louis took Eleanor to Amsterdam for her birthday at a gay bar no less back in July/August of 2017. Then a week or two later wrote the song Always You leaking a snippet of it to us where the lines of him singing about how he went to Amsterdam without his lover and his lover was all he could think about were heard. If he went with Eleanor then clearly that isn't his lover but we know this. Fast forward 2020 Walls comes out and we FINALLY hear the full song of Always You.

Louis said he only put the song on the album because the fans wanted it but if it was just because of us and the song wasn't THAT important to him why did he leak those lines back in 2017 that could easily be fact checked that the lover he sings about isn't Eleanor? It's like he wanted us to know it's not for Eleanor this line is important. So the fact that almost 3 years later he still put the song out shows the song means a lot to him and even in 2020 the meaning of the song still resonates with him and how it will Always be THIS one person that means everything to him. Funny though how his loudest, easily fact checkable songs [to not be about Eleanor] are the ones he downplays the most about importance to him.

I went to Tokyo to let it go. Drink after drink, but I still felt alone I should've known

When it comes to this song the Amsterdam line is Louis speaking [because he went to Amsterdam without Harry] while the Tokyo line is Harry speaking [because Harry went to Tokyo without Louis] and after Harry came back from Tokyo, Japan Louis was seen wearing a ton of new clothes from Japanese clothing brands. This is both of them saying I may be in a wonderful new place but it's not the same without you here. They are sad and alone and would rather be with each other then traveling around the world.

I'm wastin' my time when it was always you, always you. Chasin' the high, but it was always you, always you

I think this is self explanatory he sees no reason to even think about being with someone else because he knows without a shadow of doubt [thinks he always knew deep down] it was always Harry. There was never going to be anyone else for him but Harry.

I went from LAX to Heathrow. Walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home cause you're not home. Waiting to wrap your legs around me

LA and London are their two main residences and places they tend to go back and forth a lot. When he "goes home" if Harry is not there Louis feels as though it doesn't really feel like home because home to Louis is wherever Harry is. They can travel all around the world, meet a ton of new people but no place and others will ever make them feel fully satisfied unless their lover is by their side.

Fearless:

Cashin your weekend treasures, for a suit and time a second wife. Now I'm not saying that you could have done better just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.

The first line is a nod to the industry itself and how to get your "weekend tresures" [be famous and earn a lot of money] you have to put up a fake facade, acting and looking the way they want you to because in their eyes if you are not the conventional person Hollywood wants they believe you will not make them the money they desire because we all know they only care about money nothing else. At a cost of the real them they must put on a fake smile, go out there sing doing nothing unconventional and they will get money and fame.

The second line yes they are happily together and Louis doesn't want or believe Harry will find someone else but he has seen Harry when all of this gets to be to much and when Harry puts up a facade of I've never had an issue with all of this Louis reminds him that I've seen you when your not fine, it's ok to not always be fine and I am here for you when things are not rainbows and sunshine.

Tell me do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people? Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you.

Refering back to Xfactor and early 1D days he's asking Harry if he remembers those days together back when they hadn't really gone through hardships yet and all the strength they had during their youth willing to take on the world together. He's asking him to bring that strength back and remember the younger version of himself. He's asking him to not give up because the younger him wouldn't want him to. It's been 10 years and they are still fighting, fighting as hard as they did when they were merely teenagers not knowing what lied ahead but wer happy as long as it meant they had each other in the end.

Now if happiness is always measured by the life we design, the car on the drive then you should feel better then ever but you know as well as I it's all lies.

This line speaks volumes as stated before with Fearless we have references to the industry and even just life in general. From the outside looking in they got money, fame, material things, they have it all and if deciding who is more happy in life was based on those things then they would win but Louis is telling Harry we both know that isn't the case. The industry isn't sunshine and rainbows, they treat people like shit and strip away everything about a person if they don't think their real self will sell. They only want to make a profit off them and don't care about how they feel about any of it. Everything is a lie the truth must be counseled.

Perfect Now:

You say to me your jeans don't fit, you don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss. I wish you could see my point of view as someone staring back at you.

This song is personally underrated to me I love this song. This song is so uplifting when you are feeling insecure and negative about yourself. Louis personally had a certain curly haired boy in mind when he wrote this. He's talking about Harry's insecurities with himself and Louis wishes Harry could see things from his view and how amazing and perfect Harry is to him.

Cause everybody is looking at you now. I guess some queens don't need a crown and I know why. Even when your tears are following now still someone, you're perfect now.

One of those it's definitely not for Eleanor moments. We all know [especially during fine line era] everyone was talking about Harry, knows his name and eyes turn to him when he walks in the room. Louis is so proud of Harry and is happy everyone else sees what he sees but Harry doesn't always see what others see in him and during those times where he is not already Louis is saying I will be right there with you. I am with you through the good and the bad because even when tears are running down his face Harry is still perfect to Louis.

Cause you're the only one when it's said and done. You make me feel like being someone good to you. Even at your worst you steal the scene.

No matter where life takes them, no matter how hard it gets Louis is reassuring Harry he will always be there by his side. At the end of it all when the final act is over and the curtain is closeting he will still be there because there will never be anyone else he wants to be next to at the end of all of this. Louis looks into Harry's eyes he watches all he does and is intrance wanting nothing more then being the one to be there when he is down and always being the who makes the pain go away even if for a moment.

Defenseless:

I hate to say, but I do we're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams. We walk up early morning and they're still under our sheets.

*Sigh* this is reality setting in things aren't perfect. In their line of work, being who they are, being a closeted gay couple things aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time. Most of the time they would rather ignore all the shit they are forced to indure but Louis realizes just ignoring it all won't make it go away he will wake up each morning next to Harry knowing those issues will always be around by neither fault of their own. He hopes one day they will get to be a happily open couple who posts pics online, goes out on public dates and gets to live the domestic life they always wanted but right now that just isn't their reality. Their reality is I can only look at you for more then 5 seconds or touch you when no one is around to notice.

Been up all night, all night running my lines but it's only the truth. Been up all night not sure how to say this right got so much to loose. / You just keep on building up your fences but I've been so defenseless.

Another metaphor here Louis wondering how to bring this up to Harry and not upset him. The last thing Louis ever wants is for him to be the reason Harry has a frown upon is wonderful face. Harry is more the one to bottle up and ignore the negative things while Louis is the more practical one and he knows he has a ton to loose [Harry and his love] if he doesn't go about this situation right.

No you don't have to keep on being strong for you and me acting like you feel no pain I know you do. And I can't get inside your head when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove.

Harry is the one who bottles up his pain, puts on the fake smiles, and makes everyone believe he is perfectly fine. He acts like he can handle what he is forced to indure 100% of the time but Louis sees through that and just wants him to open up more. He knows Harry feels just as much pain as he does and wishes he wouldn't hide it and pretend everything is always fine. Louis wants to be able to help Harry through the pain and to let know he will always be there for him no matter what so don't pretend your always fine just to make others around him, make Louis feel better.

I hope I'm not asking to much just wanna be loved by you. And I'm to tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you.

Louis is tired of pretending, wishes everyone understood, wishes what he is asking for wasn't to much. All he wants is to be loved by Harry and live the domestic life he always invisioned with Harry and no one else but his live is not that simple.

Only The Brave:

Pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history. I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. It's a church of burnt romances and I'm to far gone to pray. It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.

I'm sure you understand Louis is gay but if you didn't this line right here is all you need to understand that. No straight man is going to write or sing those lines. He's gone down a path of self discovery and figuring himself out he knows he is and he is to far gone to turn back now but he has no desire to even if he could turn back. He is proud of who he is and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell, like their ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tell tale and it's only hello, hello, no goodbyes.

It's only hello no goodbyes meaning the confusion, the is this for life between Louis and Harry questions are gone. They aren't turning back, they aren't saying goodbye, they are only saying hello to what lies ahead. The truth is clear, their story is clear, they fell for one another and Harry metaphorical speaking fell for Louis in a way where his star shines brighter then ever just by being with him.

Pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say, I told you so come on when you know you know. All the lonely shadows dancing from the cradle to the grave.

When you know you know they knew right from the start it's me and you until the end. Some won't agree but in the end that does not matter to Louis because he only cares about Harry being by his side. He will not apologize for falling in love he loves who he loves and that is it.

We Made It Directors Cut MV:

If the lyrics alone don't tell you the full story then the music video mini movie should. It sums up everything I explained. Louis being forced to do things he doesn't want, it effecting his relationship to the point their drowning [Harry in Falling MV] but manage to survive. Louis lover never speaking but the girl with ties to the evil one in charge does until eventually Louis breaks free from the man in charge controlling him and Louis finally gets to run away with his lover because he made sure they would make it in the end.

Ending:

Walls is about self discovery, learning to overcome your insecurities "breaking down your walls" no matter how hard it may be and Louis understanding he met the one at 18 and how Harry will always be worth fighting for, THEY will always be worth it bc they knew even as young as they were they were going to get married, have kids and grow old together. So you still want to tell me how any song on Walls is about a break up or Louis moving on from Harry because I certainly don't see it. Walls is Louis perspective on their 10 year relationship and his support and love towards Harry if you want Harry's perspective and his support and love toward Louis you would have to dive into HS and FL but that's a whole other analysis.

They have not given up on each other even if at times it would have been easier they didn't so I will never give up on them. They continue to fight I have been in this fandom supporting them for 10 years watching their continous fight and I will be here another 10 years supporting them if that is how long it takes for them to get the life they knew they wanted when they were only 16 and 18.

#larry is still together going strong #walls lyric analysis #walls is not a break up album #larry is and always will be real #louis #harry #larry stylinson

[dexi-green]

Okay so wrap up thoughts for ep. 4:

Where is Zemo? Do not let this man loose. Also bless marvel for releasing the longer cut of Zemo dancing earlier 🙏🏽

We love the Dora. However I wonder if the arm thing was a gag or if it’s going to come back. I could definitely see Buck having some questions and beginning to wonder whether they actually freed them or just put him under Wakanda’s control with a longer leash. He obviously has reason to be skeptical about people’s intention with him (see; how Zemo used him) I can definitely imagine them explaining that it was impossible to wipe out the WS controls but rather they just changed them and just never intended to use them, making him a sort of unintentional sleeper agent White Wolf for Wakanda. He is clearly very thankful and grateful to them, and is very close to the Dora, especially Ayo, so I could see that distrust being a good future character arc. But I stand by that with T’Challa in charge they would never seek to take advantage of Buck in that way. Also I was never a HUGE fan of Stan’s acting, I felt he got too hyped up for just brooding, like he was good but not Oscar worthy as some on here tried to say (you can just say you think he’s hot, you don’t have to lie about his acting to justify your adoration of him and watching his whole filmography, it’s okay I promise), but that scene at the beginning was actually amazing. I love the change between fear to relief and realization. Chef’s kiss.

As I mentioned several times, I love that this show is carefully exploring warring ideals, and actually saying them pretty plainly. It’s giving me what Civil War could’ve been. In Civil War there was just too many blatant misunderstandings and things that could’ve been cleared up if the Avenger’s didn’t share one (1) brain cell and it somehow ended up with Peter Parker who had homework to do. In this show, the ideals come from very understandable different perspectives, different lives lived. I know I want a conversation, but that alone won’t truly solve this like it would’ve in Civil War. It comes from very real criticism of our very real govt and society which I thinks helps cement this so much more in reality in a way that isn’t boring to watch like some other comic things that try to be gritty and realistic. The only part that has taken me out so far was the so very subtle cop scene in the second episode, which leads me into my next point

ISAIAH BRADLEY! Loop his story back in, let’s get some backstory and information and all that good stuff. Obviously Isaiah has made it pretty dang clear he wants nothing to do with any of this but obviously that’s not gonna happen, and it’ll be a tremendous waste of an absolute amazing and groundbreaking story to just bring Eli in at the end in some shoehorned way or something. Isaiah needs to be a part of whatever solution this story/season comes to. I’ve seen a theory floating around about either Isaiah being Wakandan (either like killmonger with one or both of his parents being from Wakanda, or more distantly) or perhaps Erskine’s secret ingredient for his serum was derived from the heart shaped herb (which would’ve made Cap White Panther 😬) which I think would be an interesting way to completely tie in Wakanda but perhaps a little unnecessary, specifically the first theory, we don’t need every future black person in the MCU to be secretly Wakandan. I just need his story to be more prominent then it has so far. It’s very important and not something that should just be a basically D grade side plot at this point.

I feel like we have shifted away from much focus on Sam. But I feel like the focus has pulled more on Zemo, Karli, Walker and Buck. Like Sam is doing what he needs but we aren’t getting as much insight into him as we did in the first episode. Which is why I think I liked his talk so much with Karli. We went back to his history of counseling and got to see how it uses it, how he calms down a situation, and his own insight into Karli’s ideals, he agrees but wants to go about it in a different way. We have constantly seen him offering help to others, but hasn’t really received much in return. I feel like now every time the shield comes up it’s just Bucky being all pissy that Sam gave it away which really turns me off his character. Sam already explained that maybe he made a mistake, but also Buck is so set in his way and his ideation of Steve that he can’t for a second consider Sam’s side. Like at this point it’s getting kind of annoying how Buck is being with Sam about it. I want more insight into Sam’s feelings about Steve, and Cap, and all that. Hopefully these last couple episodes with shift the focus back. At this point I feel I know more about Karli and John as people than I do Sam and that’s not great considering the title of the show. This was one of my earliest concerns for the series when it was announced, that it was going to focus too much on Bucky who has had his story almost front and center for almost all of the Cap films, they almost all in some part revolve around Bucky. Perhaps I need to rewatch and there has been some bits of Sam’s I haven’t appreciated enough, but it feels unbalanced, not in favor of him.

Sharon is being sketchy I fear. I do kind of like the idea that she is the power broker, but it’s hard to wrap my head around her threatening Karli like she has been. I mean she obviously has changed a lot, but if she is the power broker her motives have to be something different than what she is trying to lead people to believe. I think what’s more possible is her working for the power broker or perhaps working for/as the power broker as a cover for Fury or some other person/organization. She’s worked undercover for Fury before, she is obviously loyal to him, which might’ve changed since she talks to much about being abandoned by everyone, but I don’t know. It’s obvious something else is going on with her character, and while I love if she had just pivoted to this crime lord role, I just think of her speech at Peggy’s funeral and her loyalty to Cap and Fury in TWS. It’s possible she flipped on a dime like that because everything done to her and what she’s been through, and it may be too predictable for her to have the exact same storyline as TWS but who knows... that or she’s a skrull, always a possibility, can’t be too careful.

John Walker is clearly becoming the actual Anti-Cap. They are getting storybeats to line up. A ‘good’ soldier, turned propaganda tool, turned govt lap dog, serumed up, best friend dies, then what? Switched on by society? I love the moment with him and the flag smasher. It brought me back to when I was in the theater watching Civil War and I swore Steve was going to chop Tony’s head off with the shield. Steve just smashes the arc reactor of course, but John straight up murders this guy. And people are watching, the world is, people were recording. Definitely some purposeful similarities to our very real recording of police brutality irl. Which makes me think what will the govt response be? Will they spin it and try to get him out of this (which will feel really...weird? With the trial going on rn) or maybe will they abandon him completely and leave him high and dry? Hopefully we will see whoever the current MCU president is (prolly maybe Thaddeus Ross??) speak on it as well as the flag smashers and GRC. Walker is obviously not a good person at heart. I theorized before that he had already been given the serum, which clearly isn’t true so he has just taken it but there is something about his background that needs to be revealed. It has to be more than just “‘we did bad stuff while we were deployed” like... yeah it has a profound and damaging effect on people, but I feel like when he was talking to Hoskins it felt like they were remembering what went down slightly differently. I don’t know why, I’ll have to rewatch the scene. Either way, I think there is some stuff we still don’t know about Walker, something so terrible about him that made the serum change him like that. He was already clearly on edge, feeling insecure about people not giving him the respect he thought he deserved just from putting on the suit and carrying the shield, feeling that same imposter syndrome Sam did/does, and his pride was clearly DECIMATED by the Dora. He has this seeming obsession with super soldiers... he’s just giving weirdo vibes.

One thing I noted is that I think this series is taking apart Steve/Cap and spreading him out over several different people, and having them all pick at and dissect what makes/made Captain America the symbol he was, and what happens when you dig a little deeper. Karli seems to be the embodiment of the kindness/concern for others. She is fighting for the people, to protect them, as Cap was. But she is not holding back and is willing to put everything on the line, but where Cap was putting himself in the line of fire to protect people, Karli is putting others. Buck may be the classic idealism and Steve himself, I’m not 100 sure, but he seems to embody the kind of idea that people need something to put hope in, something to lean on, the idea of true good. He always brings up what the shield means and represents, doesn’t ever actually get specific though which is interesting. This may be because Bucky has a hard time separating Steve from Cap, since he saw the two grow up, when he talks about the shield and Cap he IS talking about Steve, there is no symbol or hidden meaning, just the Steve he knew. He conflates it all together. So I guess he represents whether or not the classic ideals can survive, the idea of hope, and Young Steve. Sam I think could be change. Where change is unwavering, like Cap’s fight for freedom never changed, but also where it is inevitable, in Steve and Cap’s place in a time that isn’t their own. How the idea of Captain America needs to be updated for modern times, or whether it should be thrown out altogether. I don’t know this is all ramblings. I though I had something but it’s almost 5am 😩

I believe we have 2 more episodes left so it’ll being interesting to see what they do with it. Fingers crossed 🤞

#tfatws spoilers #tfatws #tfatws liveblog #marvel #mcu #captain America #Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson #Zemo #dora milaje #Karli morgenthau #Sharon carter #agent 13 #powerbroker #spoilers #episode 4

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY Volume 8 Episode One: Quick Thoughts

Or not so quick, seeing how long it took me to write this and how much I ended up having to say. Spoilers (duh) under the cut, as this thing got insanely long.

So we open with a maid scrubbing a floor, a shot that lasted long enough I was starting to wonder where it was going before we cut to Cinder. So, Cinder backstory - interesting way to open the volume, but I’m not sure if it’s a good way. At the very least, I would have cut it a couple seconds, or have it flash between Cinder’s face and the flashback. Same information, but given in a quicker manner that lets us know exactly what we’re seeing instead of wonder who this random maid is for 10 seconds.

Whale aircraft carrier. The design is interesting, if looking a bit too clean for my taste. I would’ve liked to see the bones and muscles of the Grimm incorporated into the design a bit more, the surfaces less smooth and more textured, but it looks good.

Facial acting on Neo is good - I appreciate being able to see what’s running through her head, even if it also makes me wonder why Salem isn’t picking up on the obvious tells.

Emerald and Mercury are back and with new outfits; I can hear the diehard EmMerc fans screaming from here. Would’ve liked a better look at the whole outfits (I don’t think there’s even one close up of their entire bodies), but I like Mercury’s! Emerald’s model feels off to me for some reason, like it’s wider or more padded (?) than before, but it’s not a big deal and is probably just a result of her wearing a jacket now.

Oh, yeah, Hazel got one too, don’t care.

Why does the whale have a screen? A connection to one of those seer orb Grimm?

Cinder is still not interesting to me, but I am curious - can one woman hold multiple maiden powers? What happens if one woman holds them all? If they can hold multiple powers, what happens when they die? Do they both/all go to the same person, or would they split?

I like the Faunus that gives Oscar the soup. His design is pretty cute to me (I think he’s a mole Faunus?), and I feel like he’s based on something, but I’m not sure what. Getting a Narnia vibe for some reason, which I’m always on board for.

How did Ruby know where Oscar ended up? Did he call? 

Weiss’s braid looks much better! I’m still not a huge fan of it, but this model is an enormous improvement - it actually looks like hair instead of rope, it’s slicker, and doesn’t look as heavy. Nice job, animators. Blake’s looks better, too, more fluffy, but it’s not as drastic a change to me.

Nice to see the Happy Huntresses actually doing something to help Mantle, and having Joanna(? that’s her name, right?) take charge and be helping Ruby get Oscar back in exchange for their aid is nice. It feels realistic for a situation like this.

And more secret keeping, but in this case, dropping the Oz bombshell would actually probably be a bad idea. There’s enough going on, bringing up Oz being back can wait until tensions aren’t as high.

Why would Ironwood stop evacuation? That makes no sense for his character, and there’s no reason to stop them. Until he gets Penny back, Atlas isn’t going anywhere. Might as well keep evacuating until you can find here, get as many people to safety as possible before getting away. I’d assume the Doylist answer for this is that Mantle still needs to be a factor in any decisions made after this and it can’t be that if we can get everyone evacuated, but that doesn’t make the Watsonian explanation make more sense.

Actually a good plan, getting everyone into the crater if it is in fact warm (why, I wonder? Thermal vents? Heat coming off of Atlas?) solves the cold problem (that people should’ve probably already died from) and having to defend one smaller location is strategically a good option. Corralling people would also make any eventual evac to Atlas easier. There is the small problem of, you know, Atlas literally crushing anyone in the crater if the staff is used on anything else, and Salem is known to be after that Staff, sooooooo -

Okay, maybe a nitpick, but I thought Pierto’s specialty was prosthetics and robotics. Doesn’t seem like something that necessarily overlaps with what’s needed to convert Amity into a satellite. I guess maybe the engine/whatever is going to propel it into the air could be similar to Penny’s boosters/whatever lets her fly, but it doesn’t seem like something that he would be involved in raising Amity. Whatever - I know we need a scientist person to tell these things to RWBY+Co and Pierto is the most likely candidate to be in a position to do that.

It seems like, from Ruby’s dialogue, she both wants to warn the other kingdoms and ask for their help. This has been trampled to death, so I won’t rant, but - there is no one that’s going to be able to help. Argus is hours away, will take time to assemble, and isn’t a very large force to begin with. Mistral is still weakened from V5 and has next to no huntsman, and is even farther than Argus. No idea what’s going on with Vale, but they’re probably still nursing their wounds from the Fall. Vacuo is the only kingdom likely to be able to muster up a force, but they’re on the other side of the map and will take hours, if not days, to get together an army - and that’s if they decide they want to help at all. The other objective was warning the Kingdoms about Salem. Ignoring that Salem is immortal and can just throw as many Grimm as she pleases until the defenses fall, ignoring that the other Kingdoms might not even believe Ruby, what’s to say they won’t go “F*ck Atlas, they’re on their own” and recall every available Huntsman and Huntress to shore up their own defenses? Or what if the other kingdoms just fall into anarchy? Learning an immortal witch with an endless supply of Grimm will come knocking on your doorstep soon tends to cause chaos. Or is Ruby going to leave the whole immortal part out again? I just can’t see what this will accomplish.

Holy shit, it’s actually happening. Dissent from WBY, and it’s coming from Yang of all people - I love it. I wish Yang had gotten to finish her sentence, say something along the lines of “Maybe if we’d told the truth immediately things wouldn’t have gone this way” since that would fit with her “hate secrets” thing she had going on in V5/6, but the fact that Yang is actually questioning Ruby’s leadership and choices - yes yes yes, more of that please, less of the hive mind. I wish it’d come a little earlier, but at this point I’ll take what I can get.

I’m slightly confused at the sides that Ren and Nora are taking here. I like that we’re splitting them up here (we never get to see them separated, and after last volume, I am more than on board with letting Ren get some breathing room), but Ren going with Yang, Jaune, and Oscar to help evacuate Mantle while Nora goes on the “bigger picture” team to get Amity up and running seems weird considering where they were last volume. Nora was always screaming about how the big picture stuff was hurting Mantle, while Ren was pushing to keep training, keep working, support Ironwood and try and work at the big picture problem, so it would seem like they should be on opposite sides. I’m not saying it makes no sense - I can absolutely see Ren feeling protective of towns under attack from Grimm with no Huntsmen in their corner - but it feels like a bit of a 180 from their last positions. 

Did Oscar just call Jaune “John”?

Yeah, if nothing else, don’t let Penny get anywhere near Salem or her cronies. Salem can absolutely not be allowed to get her hands on the Staff, especially with the whole “get everyone to the crater” plan. Squish.

Yang and Blake splitting up, maybe we can actually get some conversations on what the hell is up with them that we should have gotten in V6/V7 instead of petty showing off and Nora projecting.

“But what about Mantle?” “Oh, I’m helping Mantle.” with the same thing you spent all last volume complaining about. Uh-huh, that’s not annoying.

Weiss has an idea on how to get up to Atlas - Winter’s ship, maybe? That one she came in on in V3 was her personal ship, wasn’t it?

Ironwood calls Penny. From the music, it sounds like they were aiming for foreboding and manipulative, but Ironwood just sounds tired, the poor man. Love how Ruby doesn’t even try for a comeback for Ironwood’s argument, really convincing.

Dead Clover, and I hope that he stays that way, because if he’s brought back to life, so much of V6′s themes of life and death and the natural cycle is just going to be spit on (again). Clover is dead, and there should be no way around that save interference from a literal god. Any attempt at bringing him back needs some kind of drawback - some prevision of life, a body that moves but his soul isn’t there, something, please RT, don’t double back on your “Death is permanent” thing again.

And Ironwood did lose his arm completely. It’s an awesome looking prosthetic, but the fact that it’s black when the rest of his prosthetics are silver, combined with the comments made by the CRWBY about Ironwood’s humanity, make me very afraid they’re going to go for some sort of bullshit parallel to Cinder’s black Grimm arm. I do like the orchestral version of Hero playing here, though.

I like Winter’s new hair style - similar enough to her previous one, but looser. Not exactly happy about what that might symbolize, but it looks really good. It looks like she might have nerve damage, though, which would mean she might be off the battlefield until she can get her hands (hah) on some sort of brace to help her move her hands (which might be hinted at in the OP~)

I do really like Ironwood and Winter’s relationship, please don’t f*ck it up, CRWBY.

Is the only thing CRWBY knows how to do to make Ironwood seem like the bad guy shoot people for no goddamn reason? Ironwood was surrounded by loyal soldiers after declaring martial law, there was no reason for him to not just order Slate detained (that one was Slate, right? Not that it matters). The man’s annoying and probably in cahoots with Jacques, but shooting him is out of character, excessive, and makes no sense when he could just be arrested. “It shows he’s slipping -” No. It’s lazy writing meant for shock value and to give characters a reason to go “Oh, he’s going evil now, I better question my loyalty to him” (based on the look Winter and Harriet share) rather than any actual flaw in his plans maybe because CRBY realized that Ironwood’s plans are rational and the best one on the table right now, so they can’t use that to turn people against him. F*ck that.

Salem sends a bloodhound or whatever after Oscar, we already saw this bit in the trailers. No comment.

TLDR: Once again, RWBY sets up a lot of stuff that I find interesting and want to see more of. However, their treatment of Ironwood doesn’t make me optimistic for them to treat him right, and RWBY has a track record of setting up good concepts/plots/characters/arcs and then failing to execute them well or at all. We’ll have to see if V8 actually lives up to the promise or falls flat due to the issues that plagued V6 and V7 .

Going to make a whole new list for the OP because dear Lord, this thing is dense.

This song is definitely more in line with RWBY’s usual sound than Trust Love, and I’m all for that. The beat is a little hinky to me - it’s going to take a few re-listens to get used to it - and once again I wish the lyrics were clearer, but I know people that weren’t as happy with V7′s sound will be happy with this return to form.

Establishing shots of Mantle going to hell, nice use of red and contrast, but I wish there was a bit more use of shadow to really sell the red coming from fires and emergency lights.

Ruby standing alone, turning to find the others standing at the ready to fight, but away from her and with their backs turned. Any chance of more dissent? Will we actually get some growth from Ruby, in regards to her leadership in particular? We can only hope.

The four girls, on a blackish/blue background with floating warm lights, with images of their V1 selves in their clothes/hair/weapons. I really love the animation in the portion, the girls look so good. It also makes me wish we’d get some sort of flashback to V1-3, because I want more of their Beacon designs in the new animation style. The fact that this background/setting shows up again later in the trailer makes me wonder if it might be what the interior of the Atlas vault looks like. No basis for that, just a random thought. Couple minor nitpicks, focused on Yang. The fact that she’s the only one not in a more dynamic pose (and this is Yang of all people) seems odd, and the way her hair flows looks weird to me based on the angles and whatnot. Putting her in a different pose like a charge would fix this, letting her hair flow more naturally and giving them the space they need to to add in her past self. Otherwise, gorgeous. 

Ironwood with Atlas inside him, slowly being overtaken by the red as he looks up. No real comment other than beautiful.

Clover dropping his pin, with the AceOps and Qrow in the leaves, before transitioning to Qrow taking Robyn’s hand in prison. It looks like Harriet will be taking over as team leader. I don’t have a lot to say here - Marrow’s the only AceOp I’m interested in, and Qrow and Clover’s relationship has never been compelling for me. Robyn, similarly, is not a character I like, so a Qrow/Robyn team-up jailbreak isn’t something that I’m interested in unless Watts is involved. Already teamed up with one villain, Qrow, why stop there?

Oscar in pain holding his head, while Grimm eyes surround him and then Salem with wyvern wings comes out and looms over him preparing to grab him. I like the visual of Salem as the Wyvern at Beacon, but her face looks almost doofy in this shot. I think it’s the lack of expression mixed with the eyes. If she had a more menacing expression, I think this would work a lot better.

The falling weapons of the girls, Crescent Rose with Myrtenaster and Gambol Shroud with Ember Celica. Cue the shippers.

Jaune with his sword in front of his face, pulling it down to be at the ready, with Nora and Ren in the far background, their backs turned on each other but looking sad at their positions. I know Jaune’s thing is probably generic, but it gives me Mulan vibes, which is funny considering. Hey, hint that Martial Arcs will become canon now that Renora is on the rocks? fingers crossed More of Ren and Nora’s rough patch, and I really hope that that gets some focus. Their kiss last volume left a bad taste in my mouth with how it went down, and getting into these two as separate characters and their relationship. Ren not requiting Nora’s romantic feelings towards him would be a really interesting place to go with these characters that everyone’s pegged together since episode 4 (in no small part due to their lack of interaction with anyone else, but I’ll get to that). 

Winter and Weiss walking towards each other on the Schnee symbol, passing each other by with Winter getting her new hairstyle and a brace of some sort. She’s actually wearing this brace in the hospital, but on the other arm, while now it’s on the arm she couldn’t bend her fingers with. Interesting, and it looks all looks really good!

The Schnee snowflake falls between Whitley and Willow, before shattering onto a chessboard. YESSSS, Whitley’s in the intro again! That’s more than I could’ve hoped, and I really really hope that him looking contemplatively like that means something - that’s he’s figuring things out, coming up with a plan, something! Still no new design though T-T CRWBY, what do I have to do to get my boy some new clothes?

From the chessboard, Salem rises up, turning the other black pieces into Grimm to attack the white where Ironwood stands. His pieces turn to dust, the board blowing away entirely. Nice callback to V1. Ironwood stands alone - no allies, and no space to move forward. He’s a king with nowhere to move - check or checkmate. 

Smug Watts hacking while leaning against a mirror, rotates to show Pierto doing the same, his reflection looking over its shoulder at him, then a pan to Penny to show the same thing before the mirror breaks. I’m not sure what this might symbolize. Inability to trust yourself, maybe?

A snowflake flies through the air and lands in Ren’s palm. It turns into a flower petal, (or scraps his hand, I can’t quite tell) then Yang, Jaune, and Oscar join him, Ren smiling to Jaune. Another flower petal flies by to transition to Nora, who reaches out but can’t catch it, looking dismayed until RWBP comes in to join her. I assume the symbolism is straight-forward - the snowflake turns to a petal when caught by Ren (lotus guy), then flies to Nora who can’t catch it. Really living for the Ren focus in the op~

Pans to a shot of the whole group in the middle of everything - Atlas and Mantle overrun with Grimm on one side, Salem’s whale and Grimm army on the other, and Amity in the middle, which Penny flies up to hover below. Penny is going to be vital to launching Amity, and probably for reasons other than the terminal.

Then Ruby and Yang looking at each other with a smile and nod before the girls jump into fighting some Grimm. Interesting bit when the volume opens with the sisters starting to have disagreements.

The entire thing freezes, Cinder strolling cockily past the crew to walk in front of a bored/disgruntled Neo and Emerald who starts to wave but looks dejected when Cinder ignores her. Not much to say here - I don’t really like the freeze frame for some reason, no idea why. This also doesn’t give us any new info on the dynamics between these three characters.

Cinder grabs her Grimm arm in pain as fire flares up behind her, transitioning into Merc, Tyrian, Hazel, and Salem with the lamp in her eyes, transitioning to the lamp and staff twirling around each other, both emitting smoke like they’re being used as they come together. I wonder if this means that the last question and the Staff are going to be used, and maybe together? Once again, though - Atlas falling, people in the crater die.

Smoke clears up to reveal Ruby, looking up to Atlas first in invasion mode, then peaceful. Turn to a shot of the group standing looking to the left, Yang and Ruby looking like they’re posed but the others just kind of standing there. It’s a weird shot, and I’m not sure what to make of it, honestly.

The ice breaks beneath Ruby’s feet, sending RWBY falling into a void, their bodies trailing those lights that we saw before. Ruby opens her eyes to see the brightest light, the Staff. She reaches out to it, but Grimm paws and hands drag her down. V6 callback?

The word Happy? flashes only to be crossed out, a sketchy Grimm roaring, then the words Ever then Never as it’s crossed out, with a sketchy Penny lifting her head and her eyes then face going red, then the words After Again being crossed out. I’m not really of the words - I think it’s going for a Happily Ever After Happy? Never Again thing, but there’s no Happily that I can see, and it just kind of comes across as a bit emo to me. I like the sketches of the Grimm and Penny - I think it might be a Wyvern Grimm or something like that, and the red spreading from Penny’s eyes to her entire outline is interesting. I wonder if it’s connected to the Maiden powers and how she’ll use them.

Sketches of RWBY’s weapon fall into the snow, Crescent Rose falling with the tip stuck in the snow, then a flash and a pull out to Crescent Rose in the snow in full animation, framed by the broken moon as rose petals fly by with the “Created by Monty Oum” credit appears. I really like this as a reference to the Red trailer, and compared to the very cluttered ending shot of V7, this is a nice change of pace.

I like this OP. It’s definitely above V7′s for me, with a good song and some beautiful animation in it’s visuals. If I had to criticize it, I would say that it feels very long and cluttered. My breakdown of the opening feels as long as everything I mentioned in the actual episode. I realize one was going almost shot by shot, while the other summarized, but the point still stands that this things feels longer than it needs to be (I’d have to check time stamps to see if it is actually significantly longer).

A more promising start, all in all, than I’d hoped for. Things irritate me for sure, Ironwood’s treatment, Ruby’s plan, all that stuff, but I know I would have those bones to pick going in. The shake-up of the usual teams and the promise of inter-group conflict is enough to get me to want more, and I look forward to seeing how my favorite characters will be utilized. 

What are your thoughts on the episode? Reblog and comment down below, and we’ll start a convo.

Until next time~

#rwby #rwby8 #rwby volume 8 #rwby8 spoilers #rwby 8 spoilers #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xioa long #episode breakdown

[punksarahreese]

Okay instead of it being nat and wills bachelorette/bachelor party it’s Sarah and Avas

Sorry this took so long anon! I really loved this idea though

CW: allusion to Sarah’s marking kink again because I’m gay and I can’t be stopped, blood mention (fake this time though)

***

“You have your costume?” Ava’s arms slid around her waist as she asked the question, making Sarah sigh.

“Ava, you asked me that ten minutes ago,” Sarah wasn’t as annoyed as her words made her sound. She knew Ava was hovering for good reason, she didn’t like surprises and that night was supposed to be a huge surprise.

“Right, sorry.”

“Love,” Sarah stopped walking and pulled Ava over to one side of the hallway outside the ED entrance, “Look at me.”

“I’m looking,” Ava mused, “And you are as gorgeous as ever.”

Sarah’s eye roll was almost audible as she caught Ava’s wandering hand before it could land on her hip or any lower, “I know you’re nervous but we do still have to work today.”

“I know,” she replied and laced her fingers with Sarah’s, “I’ll behave.”

Her girlfriend laughed at the little pout and patted her cheek lightly, “That’s all I ask. Try not to look so scared, you’ll make Maggie nervous and then we’re all screwed.”

“I can’t help it!” Ava whined, which was completely out of character, “I hate surprises.”

“I’m aware,” Sarah agreed, “I know this is out of your comfort zone, it’s out of mine too, but it’s important to them. It would have been better if we had been in on the planning but it’ll work out either way.”

“Yeah, I know,” her short curls bounced as she nodded, “I’ll try to humour it.”

“Thank you,” Sarah replied, allowing Ava to press a gentle kiss to her cheek. They weren’t really about PDA, especially not at work, but it helped ease both their nerves in that moment. They parted ways in the lobby, Ava making her way up to CT and leaving Sarah to go to the ED alone.

Sarah was immediately met by an excited Maggie the second she stepped through the sliding doors of the ED. She was flanked by Doris and April, making Sarah nervous with their mischievous smiles.

“There’s our bride to be,” Maggie came around the nurses’ station to hug her, “Excited for tonight?”

“Terrified, actually,” Sarah hoped her tone was playful enough as she hugged her back, “Not as much as Ava though, you have the poor woman more nervous than I’ve ever seen her.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”

“We don’t like secrets, Maggie,” Sarah whined, “Can’t you just tell me something about tonight?”

“Nope. Except,” the charge nurse reached under the counter and pulled out some shiny white fabric, “You have to wear this.”

Sarah realized what it was when she took the silky thing, a gaudy looking sash with “Bride to be” spelled out in glittery cursive. She sighed, cheeks already flushed in embarrassment at the thought of wearing this.

“I would really rather not, Maggie...”

“You have to!” Maggie passed another thing to Sarah, this time it was dark red; the same words written across the sash in gold letters.

“For your wife,” she explained, “Now no more complaining, you two will love it.”

Sarah couldn’t help but blush at the thought of Ava being her wife, it still felt so surreal in the best way. Still, she just muttered a comment that they weren’t married yet and insisted she had patients to see, trying to escape the nurses’ pre-party excitement.

She was excited too, of course, but the plans had gotten so out of control. She had just wanted a small dinner with their friends from the ED and CT, not really a huge bachelorette party. Maggie and April, however, decided that was not allowed and took over the plans. They even tease Sarah about it, saying that she was just lucky they were letting them have a joint party instead of separate groups for the brides like most bridal parties go.

Sarah was glad about that at least, she didn’t like crowds and she wasn’t too fond of parties either. At least having Ava close by all night would calm her nerves partially. She knew her girlfriend would appreciate that too, since she still wasn’t all too close with a lot of the other doctors from the emergency department.

She put the sashes away in her locker, along with her work bag and the one holding her outfit for that night. After that, Sarah made her way back out into the hall, deciding she might as well let work distract her as long as she could.

***

“Ava?” Her fiancée’s voice drifted from the door in the locker room, making Ava look up with a soft smile. She had been leaning against the mirror on the wall, trying her hardest to put in coloured contacts without damaging her corneas. She wasn’t sure how Sarah did this every day, contacts were weird.

“Hey, Reese cup.”

Sarah came around the corner and returned her greeting. Once Ava had successfully gotten the second contact in, she blinked harshly and then turned to the other woman. Her vision was slightly blurred and tinted by the red film, but she could still see just how beautiful Sarah looked.

“The white was definitely a good choice,” Ava hummed as she moved a bit closer to toy with the end of Sarah’s sleeve, “Pretty.”

“You like it?” Sarah asked sheepishly, “It’s a little showy for me.”

She was clad in a white ruffled blouse with a much more plunging neckline than Ava had ever seen Sarah wear. Her neck was adorned with a lace choker, the same shade of white with little strings of pearls that settled in the hollow of her throat; contrasting the fake blood on one side of her neck. Paired with heels and a nice pair of dress pants, Sarah looked absolutely gorgeous; even if the outfit was a bit out of her comfort zone.

“You look stunning, darling,” Ava promised, smiling to show the fangs she had already put in. Sarah returned her smile, her own fake fangs making Ava laugh.

“We really are a couple of hot vampires, huh?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Sarah replied, “I really love this dress on you.”

Ava’s outfit was dramatic to say the least, but suited her for exactly that reason. When Ava dressed up she didn’t come to play, so Sarah had expected her to make this costume absolutely wonderful. Her dress was all black with some serious corseting, how she managed to do that up herself was beyond Sarah, and it fell off her shoulders into flowing sleeves. A dramatic layering of red and silver costume jewelry and some blood red heels completed the look, making her appear even more regal than usual.

“Well then,” Ava finished pinning back her hair before offering her hand to her fiancée, “Shall we?”

“Hold on,” Sarah took her hand but instead of moving to the door she stepped a bit closer. She reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Ava’s ear, smiling at her warmly.

“What?” Ava looked at her in amusement, not quite sure what the glint in Sarah’s eye meant.

Sarah just grinned wider, her free hand sliding down to Ava’s waist, pulling her body against hers. The confident motion surprised her fiancée, hands bracing themselves on Sarah’s shoulders as she laughed a little.

“You’re confident today,” she mused, “Why’s that?”

Sarah shrugged, “Can’t I appreciate my beautiful wife who just so happens to look really hot right now?”

The way Ava’s cheeks flushed ever so slightly made Sarah happy, enjoying whenever she could render her confident lover a little flustered. She looked so regal in that moment but her attitude completely changed when she giggled a little at that comment.

Sarah swore she fell in love all over again at the sight.

“I like being called your wife,” Ava hummed, leaning a little closer so they were almost sharing the same breath. Sarah was the one who initiated the kiss, though it was a lot more chaste than she would have liked in that moment. She didn’t want to mess up Ava’s pretty red lipstick just yet though; that would be a shame.

“Good,” she replied as she pulled back only to press a kiss to Ava’s exposed shoulder, “Because once we’re married I’m never going to stop talking about my gorgeous, brilliant wife.”

***

“There you two are,” Crockett exclaimed over the music, “Was beginning to think y’all ran off.”

“And miss our own party?” Ava questioned, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“That’s not what you were saying twenty minutes ago,” Sarah said in her ear, making her shiver at the sudden closeness and her insinuation. Ava didn’t know what had gotten into her girlfriend or where all this confidence came from, but she couldn’t say she really minded. Crockett saw that interaction and rolled his eyes, ushering the two further into the room.

“Nice wings,” Ava’s remark was teasing as she flicked the fluffy feathers on his back. He just grinned, the halo on his head bobbing as he nodded.

“Ethan’s a devil,” he explained proudly, pointing to where a familiar doctor was clad in all red.

“How ironic.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sarah watched in amusement as they bickered, Maggie catching her eye from across the room. She was waving them over, her pink leather jacket standing out amongst the crowd of more spooky costumes.

After Ava and Crockett had stopped their argument about whose costume concept was better, Sarah led them both over to the group of people dancing. They all talked and exchanged hugs, Ava giving Natalie a bigger hug than anyone expected. That made Sarah smile, she was glad to see her borderline reclusive fiancée open up to the ED staff a bit more.

“I’m gonna go talk to Connor,” Ava’s voice was suddenly right in Sarah’s ear, “I’ll be back.”

She left after giving Sarah’s hip a gentle squeeze, heading over to the bar where Connor had been talking up some bartender who looked too enchanted for her liking.

“Connor, you’re not terrorizing this poor girl, are you?”

“Ava,” he rolled his eyes as the bartender excused herself to serve another customer, “Good to see you too.”

“Ah yes, you do look like quite the dashing pirate. Did you get her number, then?”

“Maybe I did,” he pointed at the silky sash that was interrupting the overall vampire vibe of her outfit, “Nice, by the way.”

“Maggie,” she sighed, “I’m just here to smile and nod and pretend I’m not completely unfamiliar with half the ED staff.”

“Well they seem to love you regardless.”

“They love Sarah,” she shrugged, “And I’m grateful for that. I like knowing she has a support system.”

“Reese is a good kid,” Connor replied and then paused, looking at Ava quizzically, “Well, sometimes.”

Ava raised an eyebrow, silently questioning what that meant.

Connor just laughed, gesturing to her neck, “That part of the costume?”

Ava’s hand went to the left side of neck, realizing the skin was clearly bruised when she pressed down and if she could feel it then it was most likely pretty obvious. Which meant people would undoubtedly see it with her exposed neck and shoulders in this dress. Sarah and her damn hickeys; it’s like she expected Ava to just wear turtlenecks constantly.

Not that Ava would ever really complain.

Ava was saved from more teasing from her colleague when Sarah came up to them, a big smile on her face that warmed her fiancée’s heart.

“Hey, Reese,” Connor greeted her with a side hug, “Congratulations.”

“Oh so you congratulate my wife and not me, I see how it is.”

“How do you put up with this snark constantly, Sarah?”

“She’s sweet to me,” Sarah shot back with a shrug, “Must just be a you thing, maybe you deserve it, Connor.”

“That’s my girl,” Ava laughed, throwing an arm around her waist as they left the bar to return to their friends. Eventually Sarah saw Crockett come over and drag Connor onto the dance floor as well, which made her smile. She liked seeing everyone having fun, despite everything.

The rest of the night was spent with friends and colleagues, enjoying the Halloween party and celebrating the upcoming wedding. Even though both brides weren’t too keen on this kind of bachelorette party, it ended up being a good experience in the end. It was nice to spend time together outside the hospital, a chance to celebrate and relax for once.

#the ending was weak I’m sorry 😭 #me? writing Connor clowning Ava about Sarah’s constant hickeys? absolutely #chicago med #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #my-writing #chicago med one shot #chicago med fanfiction #asks #anon

[ghost-writing]

The Monster 2/?? - August Walker fanfic

This is a re-post from my other blog... I’ve decided to post my writing on a separate page, it’ll be easier to access like that.

I’ve edited this a little, but there might still be some spelling mistakes & grammatical errors. (English is not my 1st language!) So, if you see something that irks you, please tell me! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PART TWO - Breaking

Word count: 3.2k  (The bit below the 2nd gif was labeled “part 2.2″, and titled “Interlude at the office”, but it’s quite short, so I decided to not make it separate anymore.)

Warnings: Sex (unprotected), rough sex, a certain dose of violence (including light choking), SMUT, swearing and bad language. And August Walker. (The Kingstache deserves its own warning.) And it’s probably full of typos and redundancies.

Part one can be found here!

He texted her around midnight. He had tried to not give in, resisted for almost a week, but he needed to let some steam off tonight. And he thought he liked her, which was angering him even more. She was a good investigator: smart, could think outside the box, and did not take shit from anyone, not even him. He used to like that about Sloane: she commanded respect. She did not deserve it, though. He did not know yet if Annie Franken did, he had not scratched under the surface enough. But after the month he had spent here in Brussels, he could say that he almost enjoyed working with her. At the very least, she made this dull case more acceptable. He had been offended when Sloane had given him the assignment. He felt it was an insult to his previous accomplishments. And the case would last months. At least, he’d get to travel around Europe. And since that night, he thought she was another perk.

Less than five minutes into his first meeting with the captain, he had requested to see the whole team’s files. He wanted to know exactly who he was working with, especially as it was his first time working with the Nexus. The man in charge had refused, but he went higher to get them, and he got them. Detective Franken’s dossier was heavier than the others, almost as thick as the captain’s. Apart from the chief, she had been there longer than everyone on that team, which was why she was in charge, and his direct liaison officer.

She had been in a little more trouble than the others, too. Nothing important: some insubordination (from what the redacted report seemed to say, she had been right, and her senior officer got fired shortly afterwards), and a one-time misconduct while handling a criminal in her care (he was lucky to still be alive, but he had it coming). He smiled thinking about the pics of Denizio, the “victim”: covered in bruises and scratches, a couple of deep bites, a dislocated shoulder, and multiple fractures (nose in two places, left side of his face smashed in, seven ribs, and right ankle). He was impressed: she was a fighter, and a nasty one. He had searched for the video of the incident, but had not got to it yet. He didn’t doubt that the evidence had been deliberately lost, to avoid her too much trouble.

The file also contained a lot of praise: from her former chief in the federal police, and her current one. Thinking back of his first meeting with the man, all these compliments, the twinkle in his eyes: the captain admired her, maybe even had a crush on her. August understood the appeal: good at her job, and a nice rack. Maybe too virtuous, at first sight, but he could smell that there was something hidden under the surface of that porcelain skin. Something wicked. He could see it as clearly as his own darkness.

So he stole her psych evaluations, and got disappointed when he read them. All pristine. Not in an obvious, “I’ll tell them what they need to ear” way. She admitted some problems, discomfort, insomnia, anxiety even. But she had a degree in psychology and criminology: she could’ve been faking it. He listened to the tapes: she sounded genuine. Articulate, but still confused by her feelings and reactions at times. Not the reactions of a control freak, just someone genuinely trying to understand herself, and better herself. He particularly disliked the way she was bouncing ideas off the shrink, as if he had been a wall to play against. No, actually, it’s the guy he hated. He either talked too much, or didn’t ask the right questions, the ones he would’ve asked her. And she seemed to like that bespectacled poster boy of blandness. He thought for a moment that they had fucked in his office, but after a really quick check, he found out the man was a closeted gay.

And so, an hour ago, he parked his car in front of her building, trying to calm down after Sloane’s phone call, a fire burning low inside him. He texted: “Are you at your place? Can be there in 10.” He knew she was in: shortly after his arrival, she got out on the balcony, sipping a drink, looking at the horizon, stretching her limbs, trying to unwind after a long day. The answer he got ignited something else in him. “Sure.” Not yes: sure. Sure, you can come over and fuck me. Sure, I’m waiting for you, CIA. Sure. He was panting, raging. He tried to steady his breathing, which took some time. He gripped the wheel tight, his knuckles turning white. Concentrating on the air filling his lungs, then escaping, slowly. Better. Blank face, blank mind, the August Walker way. Never give too much, to anyone. So tonight, he was going to take. And he made himself a promise.“If she has changed from that black t-shirt and sweatpants from earlier, I’ll take everything I want.” He too needed to unwind.

He got out of the car, slowly making his way to the 3rd floor apartment, still breathing in patterns, not to snap too quickly with the pretty doll upstairs. He knocked, looking at the floor. Seconds stretched, and she finally opened the door. She was barefoot, naked legs, dark red satin starting a few inches above her knees. A short kimono, belt knotted tightly around her waist, modestly covering her ample breasts. Sexy, not slutty. He felt his cock twitch. She still sported the same ponytail she had earlier, but she looked younger than at work. Probably the absence of the constantly furrowed brow, which was a common look in those offices, anywhere around the world.

Pushing past her, he entered without a hello. He heard her protest: “I did not invite you in!”, and made his way into the living room.

“I am not a vampire, I don’t need your invitation.” Thinking to himself “What you are wearing is one, anyway.” He heard the door close.

“Yeah, you give more of a werewolf vibe, actually…” His cock twitched again. He turned to face her, menacingly backing her against the wall. “Doll, you have NO IDEA”, he thought.

He towered over her, a nasty look on his face. He was so close she could probably feel the warmth of his chest, though they were not touching yet.

“Don’t you like a wild beast?” He breathed her scent deeply. “Damn, you smell nice, doll!”

“Do I look like a poodle lady?”, she jested.

And all hell broke lose inside of him: he slammed his body into hers, pinning her against the wall, making her gasp from the physical shock. He grabbed her wrist in his left hand, and opened the kimono with the right: she was wearing a dark red satin balconnet bra that barely covered her breasts. He grabbed her ass: a thong. All assorted to the robe. “Something for guests.”

She was pushing her hips towards him: he growled, less than an inch from her mouth now, but instead of kissing her like she wanted him to, he bit her throat and sucked viciously. She yelped : the thought that this man could hurt her, or break her in two with ease, crossed her mind, but she was still aroused. And she could feel that he was too. She could feel his heart beating in his chest. The thought of August Walker having a heart made her chuckle, and he growled some more as a response to her silent joke. She ran her free hand in his hair and, wanting to kiss him, she grabbed him to make him move towards her face. But he snatched her wrist, brought both her arms above her head and held them secure in his gigantic left paw, still nibbling on her throat. He unbuckled his pants with his right hand, undid the zipper, moving away from her just enough to look at her heaving chest, moving up and down rapidly with desire. Her nipples were peaking out of the satin, now, hard as rocks.

He brutally yanked her thong, and she felt the elastic band clap on her hip. She almost told him that those cost a lot of money, but decided it was wisest to just go with the flow, right now. She got distracted almost immediately anyway: he took his cock out and penetrated her without holding back. As she was dripping with anticipation (she had been since receiving the text, to be honest, running to the bedroom to change out of her comfortable sweats, into something more appropriate for a booty call), he slid his entire length inside her with ease, up to the hilt, and stayed still for a few seconds, looking hungrily at her round tits, biting his lips at the sight of her exposed nipples. He let go of her wrists, leaving them tingling with the sensation of blood circulating again in her veins, and pushed the satin robe off her shoulders and arms. She let it slide off her, feeling it brushing the back of her legs as it fell to the floor.

Suddenly, he pushed the vase and the decorative bowl that were placed on the sideboard next to them, sending them crashing down, and lifted her with his other arm to sit her on the wooden piece of furniture, still inside her. He then planted both his hands on the wall, on each side of her head, framing her, leaning in, his forehead touching hers, pushing her shoulders closer against the cold surface, and he started moving his hips, back and forth, between her thighs, wide open for him, increasing the speed every few thrusts. She moaned louder, and tried to grab his shirt to open it.

“Don’t.”

That one syllable made her blood freeze, and she took her hands off him, grabbing the edge of the sideboard outside of her legs instead. He was grunting like an animal, a huge bear completely enveloping her with his frame. She had always liked big guys, she liked feeling small in their arms and under them. She didn’t need a man to protect her; it was more about being shielded from the outside world for a moment, forgetting everything but the man fucking her senseless. And this large grizzly was very good at that, even if he was rough. She liked rough. She preferred a bit of pain than feel nothing at all.

But the bear man was inflicting more than a little pain, now. His eyes were still fixed on her breasts, dark with rage, his thrusts becoming violent. His lips occasionally sucked at her nipples, more often his teeth bit into them, but he was mostly looking at her breathing in and out, slightly smiling when she’d whimper in protest. And as she started to cry a bit louder, a visible grin was adorning his face.

He stopped pumping into her, grabbed her with one arm around her waist, carrying her next to the couch. There, he pulled her off his cock, savoring her gasp, and put her down. Her legs were slightly shaking, but she did not try to hold onto him for balance. She had understood that he was in a foul mood, and did not want to be touched. “Good girl.” But he was still raging, not feeling like calming down, and she would pay the price for it, even if she behaved. But he was sure that she could take it. If she had wanted him to stop, she would’ve fought back, and he’d be in a similar state as that “poor” Denizio guy.

So, instead of feeling sorry for her, he turned her around, bent her over, and parted her legs with his hands, guiding her ankles with a feet. He slapped her ass once, twice, three times. She let a scream escape only with the first blow. He pushed her forward, so that she ended up kneeling on the sofa. But instead of letting her upper chest rest on the back of it, he grabbed the base of her ponytail in his left fist, and yanked, silently ordering her to look at him. And as soon as her eyes met his, he slid his cock back into her, making her moan loudly. He saw fire behind her pupils: she was enjoying this. Thus, he fucked her, hard and fast, into oblivion. And her cries of rapture grew louder and more desperate. He let go of her hair, seizing her elbows instead, pulling her to him, allowing him to go even faster. She came, but it still wasn’t enough for him, so he let go of her arms, and shoved her face in the seat, pushing her back with both hands. She was screaming now, her petite body jerking with each thrust. He slapped her ass some more, leaving big red marks on her pale, soft flesh, and vigorously took hold of her waist, knowing perfectly well he’d leave bruises, feeling pride at the thought.

She felt him withdrawing, turning her around to face him. She was a rag doll in his hands, unable to think for herself. Not once had she fought him, asked him to stop. She thoroughly loved being used by him. He could take whatever he wanted, right now. And he did: he bottomed out into her, making her howl, a throaty wail after her prior screaming, and pinned her down with his hips. His right hand lifted her leg up, allowing him deeper access into her cunt, and his left hand caught her throat. The surprise of his touch made her climax, her whole body shaking, her eyes rolling in her head, her back arching, her walls clenching on him. Thereby, he huffed and puffed as his own orgasm built, and swore profusely as he pulled out of her to come all over her belly and her breasts.

Both out of breath, they looked at each other, panting, completely spent. She saw a light in his eyes, hoped he would just collapse on top of her, and finally kiss her, but in an instant, his expression changed. He got up, tucking himself back in his pants, rearranging his clothes, smoothing his messy hair. And without one last look at her, he got out, his words slapping her face.

“See you at work tomorrow, Franken.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had been long, just like the rest of the week. She still couldn’t sit down without wincing. She couldn’t sit down at all the first day. And she had to wear a fucking turtleneck to hide the bite marks and the hickeys he had adorned her neck with. Her whole body was covered in bruises, purple finger prints on her wrists and forearms, on her hips, on her ass. She was raging inside, and he was there, working like absolutely nothing happened.

He did not avoid her, they still exchanged about the investigation, they had prepared a necessary trip to London. But it felt different than the week before, the week after that first night. Before, she had noticed his gaze, a furtive smile; once, he even had asked her if she wanted tea. But now, he was distant. Or maybe she simply wanted him to be closer.

She was angry about all the marks left on her, and she definitely would’ve preferred to be able to sit normally, but it was the way he left that hurt the most, and how he acted now. She wasn’t a fuck toy to discard after use. She didn’t want a relationship, she just wanted him to acknowledge her existence in a decent way. Say hello, and kiss her before, during and after making her climax like she hadn’t in a long, long time. She could’ve been nice to him too, reciprocate. Because whatever August Walker tried to pretend he was, deep down, he was human too. Probably. Or maybe he was just a psycho.

She could see some signs: the manipulation, the violence. She wasn’t sure about the lack of remorse or guilt. She felt he was wearing a mask, not just covering up a mistake. Doing what was expected of a cold, calculated man. But she had seen glimpses of humanity in him. He had grabbed a fantasy book left by Simon on his desk, and had smiled as if remembering the first time he had read it. She heard him hum to a song played on the radio while on a stakeout, thinking she was asleep. Not a robot, just a character he was projecting, for protection most probably. She could relate: she had tried that, but could never maintain it for too long. She still joked, she still cared. And she needed to come out for air after keeping a serious face for too long. Just like she could not let him get away with using her like he had, not without saying something.

So tonight, after sending Simon and Niklaas home, she confronted him. He was finishing the cold pizza they had earlier, mumbling about anchovies.

“How did that broom get stuck so high up your arse?”, she asked, a fake incredulous look on her face. He almost chocked on a tiny hairy fish, and he fumed.

“I’d really love to ear that story. Please, tell me how!” She batted her eyelashes, simulating fascination.

“I’m not playing this game with you…” He dropped the slice back in its box.

“No, of course not. I can’t take control of the conversation, that would belittle you, wouldn’t it?”

He remained silent, stood up and walked towards the door. Before he got there, she aimed and fired: “You lost control the other night.”

He stopped in his tracks, turned around.

“I did not.”

“Yes, you did. I had zero control, I left it to you, but you lost it anyway. If you had not lost it, you would’ve pretended. You’re a great pretender, Walker, that’s part of your job. But instead, you acted like a little boy who can’t help breaking his toys.”

“There”, she thought. He twitched when she called him a boy, almost catching fire. And right after, a flash in his eyes. Regrets. Just a hint, before snapping back.

“You enjoyed it.”

“I do like it rough, yes. But I don’t like being treated like a cheap whore.” She got on her feet, moved slowly towards him, stopping just an inch from his tall frame. “I’m not cheap in any way.”

Looking down on her, August wrapped his arm around her waist, resting his hand in the small of her back, drawing her closer to him. Almost tenderly, if it wasn’t for the hardening cock in his pants, rubbing lightly against her belly. He breathed in slowly, before what must have felt to him like spilling his guts.

“Let me take you out while we’re in London. For dinner.”

She pushed away from him, moving towards the door.

“No.” She got out of the office. “See you at work tomorrow, Walker.”

#fanfic #august walker #august walker fic #august walker smut #The Monster #smutty smut

[spaceraspberries]

(The first chapter of my 18+ Undertale Fic ‘Monsterous Skeletonus’ is complete!)

(It’s gonna be a -very- slow burn, but there will be a whole lot of the UF Skelebro’s (G included!) in later chapters and a whole lot of eventual smut to go with it, even if the plot is gonna be heavier than a semi as it maps out 👀)

(Once I get it proof read fully I’m going to post it on A03!)

.................

‘Alright, alright! Easy now. We don’t need anyone breaking a leg, do we?’

‘Ugh, why do we need to go -all- the way down here? It’s not like the machinery for this shit doesn’t exist. I feel like a old school miner or something, y’know?’

‘Hey! That’s no way for a brave explorer to talk, Meg! Don’t you want to see what’s down there? Could be all sorts of cool, weird stuff!’

‘Like what? More rocks and dirt?~ Oh! Maybe some ‘sand’ even? Give me a break’

‘Guys, d-don’t start arguing. We’re going to be down here f-for a while so it’s best to get along~’

.................

The varying chatter of excited, muffled voices ringing down into the unknown, inky blackness of what was assumed to be a rather hidden among the weeds and rocks but still wide crevice leading into Mt. Ebott that had been only recently discovered, the forested area had been well scouted out over the past few weeks and had been mapped well so that the current team leading the charge wouldn’t have to contend with trying to figure out where their destination would be by sight alone.

The ‘team’, otherwise known as FTL (Future team leaders. A cheesy name if there had ever been one) were simply a group of third year Geo students who had been tasked with taking core samples from the innermost caverns of Mt. Ebott for substrate testing. It wasn’t exactly a glamorous job by any stretch of the word but it was good experience for the youngsters in terms of field work, the leader of the group of ragtag students, a rather burley, bearded man named Sean and his partner Gunter already being at the bottom of the cavern as they waited for the rest of his team to follow suit, the impatient Sean watching as Meg and Desmond, the third and fourth oldest on the team respectively, carefully sidled their way down the craggy rock surface, arguing all the way much to the usually cheerful but honest mans chagrin.

“The more you guys complain the more time your gonna spend down here getting the damn samples. We still have to set up camp too so I suggest you guys pick up the pace”.

A collective groan coming from the duo grappling down, Desmond and Meg soon reached the bottom of the dimly lit cavern while two other members on the surface still suited up, Terra and Mira, a pair of naive adventurers if there ever were any, looking seriously nervous as they prepared to begin the descent down into the unknown.

“You ready?”, Mira smiling nervously at the freckle faced Terra as her friend nodded back hesitantly, it was more often than not that Mira was the braver one between the both of them, Terra being more of the ‘I’ll just follow you for safety sake’ type ever since they were children and Mira often having had to assume a’leadership’ role because of it.

Not that she minded it at all though! If anything, the short-stack of a girl enjoyed leading her best friend through the forest and hills when they were merely kids, the both of them often fighting imaginary monsters and imagining what it would be like to climb the forbidding and dangerous Mt. Ebott that had the reputation of housing -real- beasts and all sorts of angry spirits for centuries.

Well, according to many a scary bedtime story it did at least, Mira no really longer believing such childish fantasies and thinking them about as real as a monster under the bed. The girl had always been terrified as a kid by the thought of some horrific creature climbing down the mountain and snatching her up in the night when she misbehaved, her being unable to look back at those times without laughing at how her own imagination used to run wild.

“Y-yeah, let’s just take it easy though, alright?”.

Terra blushing nervously as Mira grinned and the both of them began the slow descent down into the inner workings of the massive Mt. Ebott, the dark slag that covered most of the upper surface area soon gave way to crumbly, brown flecks of caked in dirt about halfway down that rained into the depths below at the smallest touch, the bright entrance to the surface growing smaller and yet smaller still as eventually it was merely a pin prick of light far, far above the teams head when Terra and Mira finally hit the weirdly soft and rather squishy ground beneath.

“See? We made it down okay~”, Mira helping to unclip Terra’s equipment as she could tell her fellow team mate was uneasy, she was used to Terra being a bit of a worry wart but she seemed to be especially unnerved today for some reason, “Told ya we would make it in one piece”. Sticking her tongue out playfully at Terra as the girl batted her hand away with a sigh once she was unclipped, Mira laughed as Sean meanwhile approached with bottles of water for both of them.

“Hey now! Looks like you made it all in one piece!~”, Sean smirking broadly as he playfully patted the nervous looking Terra on the back, the girl smiled small as she watched the others in the group already beginning to set their bags down alongside the smooth, stone covered walls of the wide, expansive cavern they had landed in.

The circular area where they stood being lit by a few torches that Gunter, a rather quiet short man that was second in command to Sean had placed around what would be their designated base area, it was easy to tell that whatever this place was it must have been pretty damn old, scraggy bits of moss and thick, thorny vines creeping up the strangely, almost ‘carved’ looking walls that were reminiscent of a oversized well in a way.

The dirt covered ground being rather soft and squishy as was mentioned previously, it wasn’t ‘wet’ but had the texture and feel of a half absorbed sponge that had been wrung out and left to dry, bits of dried plant matter, green and yellow, making up a bulk of the signs of life that had floated down from the surface to the seemingly lifeless cave over the years, a large pile of the shriveled mess having formed a rather neat mound directly below the gleaming entrance far above.

Meanwhile, the lack of hardiness in the soil was proving difficult for Desmond to drive the stakes for his tent into by his annoyed grunts and frustrated strings of cusses.

Nature wasn’t for everyone apparently.

A naturally formed but crooked arch towards the east appearing to lead deeper into whatever lay beyond the teams immediate landing spot, it was oddly convenient, almost as if it was beckoning anyone who fell or grappled their way down here to enter it and take a chance with whatever dangers laid beyond Its dismal, abyss like entryway.

Mira getting a bit of a odd vibe from the area as she decided to stick by her team mates side for now, there would be plenty of time to explore later, her taking a sip from her water bottle with a content sigh as Sean soon formed everyone in a loose huddle to discuss their next plan of action.

“Alright!”, Clapping a hand to get everyones attention as he visually assessed that his team was safe and sound, Sean held his constant, positive outlook proudly even as most of his members looked exhausted from the day trek up Ebott and grappling down here, “Now, we all know why we’re here, collecting samples and all that fun stuff. Of course, to avoid outside contamination from -that-“, Sean pointed upwards at the tiny prick of light to the surface above them, “We are going to have to do a bit of traveling inwards once morning hits!”.

“Oh! Does that mean we get to see how far all this goes?~”, Mira speaking up as she genuinely seemed excited about the possibility of traveling farther into the cave system, she ignored the sound of Meg behind her muttering something annoyed under her breath, “I hear some of these caves can stretch for -miles-!”.

“Andddd your exactly right, kiddo! Of course, we only need to collect samples unspoiled by outside contamination. We won’t need to travel too terrible far in for that, but I wouldn’t discount the idea of another trip down here if funding for this pans out”, Sean winking at Mira as the pint sized girl blushed and internally swooned, a intentional, rough cough from Desmond seemed to break the pair out of whatever little ‘thing’ was blooming between them as he motioned to the tents that still needed to be set up.

“Yeah, uh, a-anyways, another thing guys, I don’t want to see anyone wandering off either, got it? We have no idea where these caverns might lead and the last thing we need is to have to send out a rescue squad to find one of you. I’m sure everyone has heard the horror stories of those idiots who decide to go off alone and wind up wedged under a boulder or something”.

Sighing a bit awkwardly to himself as he seemed to get the hint across to his team judging from the murmurs of acknowledgement they gave, Sean was a natural leader and the head of this group obviously....but sometimes it was a bit difficult to get everyone on the same page, the only real ‘friendship’ between them all outside of being grouped students and cavers being Terra and Mira, two of the youngest mates among them.

This was going to be a long, difficult journey if they couldn’t all manage to find a common ground to communicate on, but at least in the end their mission was likely to prove successful now that they had arrived safely in the interior workings of Ebott as planned with barely a scratch.

Soon enough everyone would be back on the surface and they could all go their separate ways, but for now there was work to be done in terms of getting tents set up and dinner ready, the long hike just to get to the top of Ebott having been almost a full days worth of energy.

“Meg, you get a fire and dinner set up since Desmond already has the tents”, Pulling out a small note paid from his pocket as he scribbled something down while he spoke, Sean than looked at Terra and Mira as his usually eager eyes seemed to grow a bit more tense in thought as he rubbed his temple slowly with his free hand.

“And you two....Just...don’t do anything stupid, okay? We don’t want another Cauldron incident. That -especially- goes for you Mira, got it?”.

“Uh...yeah, y-yes Sir”, Mira blushing and nodding once as she glanced at Terra who now had a chance to smile and nudge her friend back playfully, neither of them particularly were proud of the unspoken ‘Cauldron’ incident but it was good reason for them to stay put and out of the way.

...........................

The team taking the next hour or two to set up tents and unpack gear, the plan was for a three day excursion to take samples from the depths of Ebott for both sediment and groundwater exploration. Of course, no one had really ever been -in- this mysterious cave system until now to map it out, the next few days having the potential to be longer or shorter depending on exactly how difficult the terrain proved to be to navigate.

By the time Meg had managed to scrap together a decent fire and everyone had settled down around it for a meal of rationed leek and potato Soup, the group seemed to be more than happy to simply have the chance to relax and take off their worn jackets and boots, The night sky far, far above them having the faintest sparkle of stars and moon mist to indicate the time of day on the surface.

Mira sitting to the left of Terra and near Sean on a blanket while Gunter sat near Desmond on the ground and Meg had perched herself on her bag, it could have almost be called a crude form of camping in a way if any of the said campers shared any sense of shared camaraderie.

“I’ve always heard weird things about this mountain, y’know? Things like ghosts and goblins and the like”, Desmond sipping his soup as he spoke with a sly grin, the flannel shirted man seemed to enjoy the way he made the nervous Terra especially perk up and shuffle ever so closer to Mira like a lost pup.

“How they especially like to eat little kids that wander away from home....Yeah, I bet they are just waiting to snatch some new prey up when they get a chance~”.

“Real mature, Des. I bet it took you all day to come up with that one, right?”, Meg rolling her blue eyes as the man continues to grin and simply drank his soup, Mira meanwhile seemed to be quite curious about what Desmond was getting at though as she suddenly became a bit more attentive.

“Well...I’m not a kid and neither is Terra, so we should be fine~”, Smiling lightly as she kind of wanted Desmond to continue talking about his little stories of what might be in these mountains, her gaze silently urged him to keep speaking as she let Terra cuddle close to her for warmth.

Desmond chuckling and shaking his head at Mira’s assertion that she wasn’t a child, he closed his eyes for a moment in thought, “ Nah, you don’t wanna hear stuff like that before bed, believe me”.

“B-but, I mean it, I’m really curious about -all- that kind of stuff! Cryptids, ghosts, you name it! I-I mean I don’t -believe- in any of it...it’s just, uh...fascinating I guess”.

“Mmm, I think he might be right, Mira. Besides, we should be hitting the sack soon anyways. Everyone’s got a big day ahead tomorrow”, Sean raising a brow at Mira’s apparent interest in what might be lurking around the inner workings of Ebott, his input seemed to only fuel Mira’s insistence in knowing more about what she thought Desmond was ‘hiding’ from her because he saw her as merely a kid.

“Come on, just -one- story?~ You can’t just lead me on like that”, Mira feeling Terra cuddle a bit closer to her even more so as she seemed to be persistent enough to convince Desmond to give in, the man sighed and put his empty cup down as Mira internally cheered that he seemed he was going to tell them more about his creepy tales.

“Alright alright, but only one, got it? Man, you kids these days know how to work a old mans feelings”.

........................

................

.........

Sleep coming easy for the exhausted group by the time Desmond had sufficiently managed to spook nearly everyone out with his tale of a creature called the ‘Crooked handed woman’, Terra had, as usual, decided to remain by Mira’s side even when they were comfortably safe inside their tents and was cuddled up next to her best friend once the group had decided to call it a night.

It wasn’t as if Mira minded much that the perpetually nervous girl wanted to share a tent, her honestly thriving off the warmth that the both of them being this close gave in this unnaturally cold cavern.

Desmond’s tale still ringing in the back of Mira’s mind as she fell into a mild sleep not long after getting herself comfortable, the thought of some old, crone like hag with skin like old onion paper and a twisted and gnarled hand with a ‘mind of its own’ was enough to keep her up a little after everyone else had fallen asleep, the occasional sound of what Mira assumed was dried leaves shuffling outside her tent instinctively making her cuddle up a bit more in her sleeping bag to feel smaller.

Yeah, maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to beg Desmond to tell his tale after all....

‘T-there isn’t anything out there! Stop being stupid and get your mind off of it already!’

Maybe Desmond was right to not want to tell his creepy stories when what she really needed was to sleep for tomorrows expedition deeper into the cave, Mira sighing a bit to herself as she watched Terra’s soft, unworried, sleeping face next to her own as she slowly tried to lull her body into rest as well.

............

......

-scerch scerch...scritch....~

‘W-what? What is that?’

Mira cracking her groggy eyes open after a minute or so of letting her mind rest, the sound of rustling ‘leaves’ outside of her tent had for a second or two became a bit louder than before, her senses instinctively going on high alert as she waited in silence to see if she wasn’t truly just going crazy from exhaustion.

...............

.........

‘scritch scritch....-c r u u u u n c h-

.............

The sound of what Mira could best describe as one of the Lit-A-Fire portable logs that had been put out by Sean earlier snapping slowly in half, the girls heart was pounding in her chest by now as it was more than obvious that someone, or some t h i n g, was out there just beyond her tent, her wide eyes focusing on the still sleeping Terra in front of her as she debated on waking her friend up to investigate.

‘No, she is just gonna freak out. Just stay put Mira...I-it’s probably just Sean or someone out there....’

............

-c r u n c h-

The sound of another one of the logs seemingly being split in half reaching Mira’s ears as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to panic, a odd tapping noise, almost like long nails clicking on stone, was a new sound to emerge after a few seconds of silence, the story she had heard from Desmond earlier returning to her already panicking young mind ten fold.

The old lady with her crooked hand and it’s long, gnarled nails....t-there was no way it was real, right?

............

.......

-tap tap-

A terrified, muffled squeak coming from Mira as she buried her head in her bag, the sound was now right outside of her tent as she felt Terra stir besides her, her not wanting to see who or whatever was attempting to seemingly try to get her attention as the front zipper of the girls shared tent opened rather slow and quietly.

“G-go away!!”.

Mira bolting up and slamming a pillow directly into the face of a most perplexed looking Gunter, the sleepy, heavy set man crunched his brow together as he put his hands up in a mock fashion to show he surrendered.

“Hey there, just calm down!”, Shaking his head once as he tried to speak quietly to avoid waking Terra, Mira blushed heavily out of shame as she immediately seemed to realize how stupid she had been to think that the kindly second in command to Sean had been some kind of ‘monster’.

“Was wonder’in if ya had the first aid in here. Kinda stepped on some of the logs while going to take a leak...and, well...”, Gunter running a hand along his hairline as Mira immediately went to hand off the box of medical supplies to the sleepy looking man that resided safely by the tent entrance, the pink blush she had sprouted didn’t leave her face as she sighed and retrieved her pillow she had thrown at him as well.

“Sorry bout that....”, Speaking quietly as she hugged the parcel to her chest, Mira was merely given a nod by the typically introverted Gunter as he went to zip the tent back up, her and the still sleeping Terra once again being left in the dark, Mira feeling like a total fool for letting Desmond and his stupid story get to her to the point of her actually thinking some terrifying beast had been shuffling about outside.

..............

........

-Scritchhhhhh~

Laying back down to -finally- get some much needed sleep, Mira paid little mind to the sound of what she assumed was Gunter bandaging up his wounded foot, her giving a mighty yawn as she wrapped a arm around Terra and-

..........

-B A N G-

.............

A heavy, extremely loud jolt rocking the pairs tent and apparently the others nearby as she could hear the sound of confused yelling and tired murmurs almost all at once, the startled Terra too blinked her eyes open as she gave a scared, confused look to Mira, her putting a finger to her lip to silently signal to the younger girl to remain quiet as she unzipped and peeked out of the tent to see what the heck was up now.

.......

-B A N G!!!-

A heavy, hot pressure nearly collapsing the heavy canvas tent in on both Terra and Mira as the girls let out a terrified cry of confusion as the fabric fell around them, Mira even under the mess could tell that Sean was shouting indistinguishable words to the others in a apparent panic at whatever was going on, Meg’s just as muffled, frantic pleas mixing in with his orders as Mira tried to yank Terra out from under their collapsed tent as another heavy bang and a sudden, strange whistling noise erupted around them again.

“T-Terra! We need to get out of here!!!”.

Terra, fearful tears streaming down her face as Mira grabbed a hold of her wrist while a bright flash of what could only have been described as a ‘ball of green hued flames’ slammed into the opposing wall nearest where Desmond and Meg’s tent had been, Mira squirmed out from the remnants of tent fabric as she didn’t bother or try to look at whatever or whoever was causing this havoc, her only instinct telling her to run as far away with Terra as she could while she still had the chance.....

Whatever was going on m-must have been some weird, natural cave phenomenon....that was the only real explanation Mira could come up with on the fly e-even if it made little sense logically....

Flames just didn’t shoot out of nowhere like this though.....but maybe since Ebott was rumored to be a long dormant volcano t-that had something to do with all of this?

As little sense as it made it was the -only- logic running through Mira’s imagination as she tried to block out the frantic sound of yelling and screaming back from base, the loud crack of a shotgun being added to the fray as Mira practically dragged Terra towards the archway nearby.

The dimness of the cavern making it nearly impossible for the pair to get their footing as the torches from earlier had been put out by Sean in anticipation of a good nights rest, Mira blindly ran towards the stone archway that led deeper into the yet unexplored inner cavern, her bare feet scrapping painfully along the much rougher, cement-like surface of the pitch black entry way into the unknown depths.

Her nearly crushing Terra’s wrist in her grip as she pulled the hyperventilating and crying girl along, the sound of the carnage from the base camp was now only a muffled, distant drone as the wide eyed and fully shocked Mira eventually stopped to take a breath once they reached a narrow alcove that was eerily silent and still compared to the chaos outside.

“Y-you alright?~”, Whispering softly to Terra as she held her sobbing friend close to her chest, Mira tried to shush Terra but it wasn’t doing much good, the easily terrified girl unable to calm herself as she clung to Mira tightly.

“I want to go -home-, Mira! Coming down h-here was a mistake! I -knew- it was a bad idea and now look what happened! We need to g-go back and help them!!”.

“I know, I wanna go home too....but I don’t think going back there is the best option right now”, Mira trying to give Terra a little smirk to lighten the mood but failing miserably, it didn’t help much at all as Terra simply broke out into a fresh round of sobbing, “We will figure this out, okay?~ I-I’m sure things aren’t as bad as they seem and we probably just over reacted. To be honest I bet this is one of Sean’s stupid pranks”.

“Thats -not- funny and you know that isn’t true!! F-for all we know Sean a-and Desmond and everyone else is hurt back there! I don’t know what happened but whatever a-accident or...-thing- tore up all our tents...but we are going to have to go back and help them!”.

The sound of the distant drone of chaos back from the base slowly growing less urgent as a unnerving silence began to replace it instead, Mira gave Terra a look that said to not even try it, her keeping her grip on her friends wrist as tight as ever.

“Listen...”, Mira taking a hold of Terra’s trembling hand as she tried to be the braver one between them, she sensed that the agitated girl was going to run off the first chance she saw to who knows where and wasn’t going to take the risk of letting that happen.

“Your going to stick with me until we can figure out what’s going on, okay? Going it alone in this place...seems a bit, uh, dangerous...”.

“B-but Mira!-“.

Mira letting out a deep, exhausted sigh as she shuffled Terra to her chest for comfort with the girls protesting, it was partially to avoid letting her see the nervous tears forming in her own eyes, Mira not being cut out to be a leader on the fly like this by any means.

“We need to see if there are any other exits out of here. I know this is scary a-and all, but I know you can do this, Terra~ I know your really brave deep down even if you don’t think it”, Giving her friends hand one last squeeze of determination as Terra seemed to brighten up slightly at Mira’s kind words, the darkness ahead of them seemed to be silently daring the inexperienced pair to take it on, there being no chance of going back now as Mira gave a slight tug of Terra’s arm to prompt her along into the unexplored and potentially hazardous new world, “We are going to get out of here together, I promise”.

Unfortunately for the unwary girls, the journey ahead of them wasn’t going to be easy and the chance of either making it back to the surface at all was slim, a certain green eyed, rather dirty furred ‘beast’ already being well aware of Mira and Terra’s presence~

#Undertale #undertale fic #fanfiction #horror #slow burn #undertale fanfiction #o.c

[abri-chan]

I saw you talking about X Reader fics and trying to write for Giorno, what would you say are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to Giorno x Reader fics or just general Giorno based fics? I'm trying to write for Giorno for a fic. that pairs him with a female OC and I check other fics for inspiration apart from the manga and purple haze feedback, and it seems like there are specifically three different versions of Giorno that show up in fics

I’ll be honest the xReader fics I read are smut (yeah I know I don’t write smut myself but hey I need my porn). The fic I’m writing for Giorno is actually a somber one kinda and is about him and Dio, so no reader or OC in that one.

Also, I kinda approach readers as OCs a lot, so we’re similar there. (I do have actual OCs tho!) I would like to know more about what you think the three versions are.

I’m rambling here, and not all may be useful. These include xCharacter, xReader, or just Gen.

Submissive Giorno. I’m separating top/bottom and sub/dom here. I feel like Giorno is always ultimately in control. I kinda HC Giorno as being a thot like Dio, in that he will not hesitate to use charm or sex to get what he wants. But even though Giorno could be fine with humiliation I think even that is calculated. There were some nice examples in abbagio fics where physically it seems Abbacchio was in charge: he was getting payback for Giorno’s behavior, but emotionally it was Giorno that drove him into getting rough with him. I joke that the D in Don Giovanna stands for Dom, but I believe Giorno is always in control of how the situation unfolds, bedroom or not.

Innocent, childlike, or melancholic Giorno. This is a big one. I’ll admit I ship Giorno into what could be considered incestuous because I think his dynamics with other Joestars are interesting (he’s partly Dio after all). I used to consume giotaro/giojota/giodio for a while. Great art by some artists, but the fics I’ve read... not the best. I feel giobru falls under this category too. Not that the stories the fics tell are bad per se; it’s the characterization of Giorno that is off. It seems when Giorno is paired with an older character or manlier character he comes off either as overly naive or overly depressed. (I believe Giorno would fuck over any other Joestar except maybe Jolyne) While as far as we’re shown (through behavior, never thoughts) Giorno manipulated his capo (Bruno) and became Boss in 14 days. You can argue that maybe if Giorno falls in love he’d wear his heart on his sleeve and I don’t quite buy it because it would be too much of a drastic change. IMO Giorno kicked melancholy in the face when the nameless gangster gave him hope-- he seems “a look towards the future kind” of guy.

I’m not saying he doesn’t have any feelings or thoughts on the sacrifice of his comrades, and I do believe Giorno grew a lot in what a leader should be (specifically the opposite of Diavolo): value loyalty (Narancia, Abbacchio), be open to what your subordinates think (Mista in Ghiaccio’s fight), pay people by their worth (the entire La Squadra fiasco could have been avoided). But I think Giorno sees them as a testament or sacrifice to a bigger vision: his bigger vision. So he looks at the bad aspects with respect and awe instead of depression or melancholy. Which brings me to the fourth point.

Give power when power is due. After Giorno becomes Don describe a Don lifestyle. Don’t have Trish just walk into his room anytime or Giorno lazying around. Don’t have him friendly with Mista or Fugo, because they’re not on the same level-- there’s a huge power imbalance and idc how much Giorno values them, he needs to maintain order and hierarchy. Yes he may be 15 in some fics but he never even acted 15 in the actual story. I feel being Don forced him to mature faster-- think of how helicopter parents force their children to perform adult feats in academics (taking college classes) or arts (child prodigies in music). You’d have to deal with the ramification of a character never having a childhood and not being allowed to have one. 

Especially if you want to explore romantic relationships, you’d have to deal with how a huge power imbalance comes into play. I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if Giorno didn’t intend to fall in love but instead planned for it. He’d task a trusted subordinate one day to find him a suitable wife (using wife since your OC is female). How would love unfold for someone that has it planned on how it should be and things don’t go according to plan?

(fourth point) There’s something wrong with Giorno. And I don’t know what it is, but I feel a good characterization would be able to capture it (if not in words in events or overall feeling it conveys). A lot of fics are not even wrong, in the sense that: yes Giorno would be overly romantic and prince charming. He’d also be unforgiving and cruel. But he’s somewhat never quite here or there. Maybe there’s something to be explore with Golden Experience Requiem: you chase a personality trait Giorno may have and realize you have return to the starting point without quite pinpointing it (just like Diavolo can never quite die).

I haven’t read PHF, only skimmed a bit, but there were some points where it gave off this vibe. For example, if I remember correctly Sheila was Giorno’s bodyguard. But then he just sends her away to find Fugo and the question is why? I mean the Don does need a bodyguard and especially trusted people-- you’d have to find another person to replace Sheila if something went wrong. You can read it as Fugo was important because Purple Haze is a dangerous stand, so Giorno must send his best wo(men). But the disturbing way I read it was that Sheila resembled Narancia’s devotion to Bruno in her devotion to Giorno. I think Fugo comments on how he thought Sheila was just as naive as Narancia at first. Did Giorno actually do this on purpose, because he knew what Sheila would remind Fugo of? That’s twisted, and I don’t know if PHF touches on that, or if it was just a coincidence: the author went for a character that resembles Narancia but not with the extension of how it would make Giorno look (this was emergent). There were also fans that screamed ‘fugio canon’ but idk did Giorno say those words (there’s this nice scene towards the end) to manipulate Fugo?

---

By the way isabelbuccellati has done very nice characterizations of Don Giovanna. Unfortunately she only has one public fic up on AO3 (it is nsfw so check at your own risk). I think the way she writes him has some depth you don’t usually see in his characterizations (these writings aren’t public tho).

But you can hop over to her tumblr and ask about Giorno, she’s a very nice person. She’s also one of the few people I’d trust to write smut of my fics.

---

Another advice would be to not be afraid to write a strong OC, because that way you can explore the characters around them through reactivity. You may end up putting Giorno in a situation that throws light into some hidden aspect of his personality.

I don’t mean strong in the sense of “great powers” or “great personality” or “role model”. I mean strong in the sense that she has presence in the story: for good or bad, with all the virtues and flaws, someone could definitely say “This is a person. This is a believable person.”

#anime manga rambles #Giorno Giovanna #jojo #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #Ougon no Kaze #Golden Wind #Vento Aureo

[semi-imaginary-place]

I started watching deca-dence

1: oh what was that called. there’s a name for this tech aesthetic.... also the city is floating on monster goo which is also their energy resource... is that really a good design?????? why is there open access to the monster goo i mean those kids are totally going to fall in. Oh boss dude’s a super secret agent thing. lots of reveals this ep. That action sequence at the end was really cool but wow i do not like those squishing sound effects. also, of all the livestock to raise, why cows??? per pound of protein, cows are horribly inefficient especially when land and resources like water are scare.

2. We have a post apocalyptic society and they kept bagpipes of all things??? I’ve noticed this in fiction and perhaps this is true of real life but sustained conflict coincides with the glorification of the warrior/soldier social class. oh god and now the creators are doing a post moderist take, yay capitalism. this is a good take on the isekai “transported to a game world”/mmo lightnovel genre (see past post). what makes something “real” I was playing of a ttrpg around that concept... mikey’s got all the flags to die horrifically and be part of kaburagi’s tragic backstory. lol kaburagi got turned into a mod. There’s also something dehumanizing and horrifying in managing a society like this all to maintain the status quo. so let’s see if I have this straight, the remnants of capitalism made deca-dence and then a bunch of little robot people who are incentivized via a game system to destroy the squishy monsters. the city design makes sense now it wasn’t made with things like safety or efficiency or any regard for the residents in mind, it was made to look cool. Living in a fuel tank is exactly the type of bullshit to expect from a videogame.

3: kurenai has the vibes of that one cool npc that the the main character out grows to show how strong you’ve become. (the trope is rife with misogyny. who was the one that talked about it? ... femfreq?), wonder what the show will do with it. good job deconstructing the instant expert trope. lit. unregulated capitalism. what is corporations replaced government but for little cyborg people. curious about this minato guy. the 175 years until decommission or whatever makes me wonder how long all of this has been going on. on the screen with the eurasia bubble, were other structures, so i wonder whats happening elsewhere in the world.

4. the game trailer style shots.... the juxtaposition of the tankers discussing battle strategy for a life or death situation, with the cyborgs excited for the next raid event and talking about the game’s story is real good. its a revolving door of mood whiplash. oof dramatic irony since the entertainment corp also seems to control gadoll numbers. Why do none of the Power wear armor? oh right aesthetics and game logic, i answered my own question. I was thinking about this for a little while but kaburagi really does have the set up to be an isekai/mmo light novel protag so I’m really glade we have natsume as well. If done improperly her character type can get kind of annoying, the show did a good job of humanizing her which is important since so much of the disconnect between a game world and a lived reality hinges on her. why isn’t altitude sickness a problem for anyone?

5. yikes. saved twice within the first 10 minutes. maybe dont charge in there natsume. and it was the cool lady too! oh shit limit release. now the stakes are up. isnt kaburagi totally going to get his little head chopped off and the his little green battery extracted.

...

...

...

6. I’ve always had a soft spot for the struggle against the inevitable and unmovable. i was wondering how they were managing the squishies population. just where is this lake? what weird ass hazing system has kaburagi ended up in... is this the slow part of the anime? where they save up frames for the finale?

7. i just realized that kaburagi purposefully chose dog faced characters twice in a row. like he can choose to look like whatever he wants and he good, i feel comfortable looking like this. good for him. How did they punch a hole in the wal anyways, mechanically? with gadoll? We’ve see that they can either change the projection surrounding deca-dence, or actually have full control of all material int he bubble. oh kabu-san you are finally starting to think. but its not the gadoll that are the root of the problem, its the deca-dence system. btw since cyborgs run on the green juice which i think is made from gadolls??? how does kabu plan on fueling everyone. he hasn’t thought about it has he. of course the gadoll have a kill switch. do the tankers have one...?

8. a setup episode. my heart was racing during the avatar retrieval part, so much tension. jill is great. not sure why kaburagi doesnt just tell natsume whats going on. i do think it’d be a shock and a lot to take in just like when the gadoll reset on the mountain, but it’d make coordinating much easier. as is taking her along while not telling her whats going on doesnt feel right. also the green slanty eyed cyborgs given me bad vibes from the start, after all he’s the one that told mikey about removing the limiter. I’m kinda sad we only have 12 episodes so we have to enter the finale already. i would have loved to see the tanker teams, natsume and fei, and minato and kaburagi relationships fleshed out.

9. YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER. so she would have time to process all that world shaking information not in the middle of the operation when it could cost her her life! also doesn’t this mean all the cyborgs still alive are now trapped in the waste disposal place.

10. i totally forgot about that tunnel. that said it looks kinda fragile, how’d it survive the explosion? And how did the robo crew get a hideout?? jill is amazing. she’s like a wizard. Natsume just doesn’t get a break, no ones explained to her the cyborg-avatar thing. I’m too invested in this show to analyze anything.

11. holy shit i wonder what the last few episodes were going to be about. they’re going to black hole the whole place. also we can finally hear pipopi! I thought it a bit funny pruple nose seemed to be taking advice for them but really eh was taking orders? so minato did the tremendously stupid thing of logging out and then hopping on a shuttle to get from orbit to deca-dence so he could talk to kaburagi face to face. even if they take out the gadoll, that doesn’t stop the deca0dence system from having a kill switch on the bubble.

12. POMDOROSA DID THE END SCENE ART. it really is 7 degrees of separation, they have a tumblr here. right as the natsume flashbacks started, I knew what was going to happen. Was it really safe inside the drill thing?? ah whatever. Kaburagi really went all out and busted himself huh. He probably didn’t actually need to use so much force that it’d break decadence. ah I’m rambling. I binged watched this show in 1 day. i started tearing up at the natsume flahsbacks... I dont remember what i just watched it was pure experience. I do wonder whats happening on other continents.. Jill! I can’t believe it took you 3 years to organize your files and find kaburagi’s backup! well i mean its realistic but still.

Deca-Dence is very good, like not even talking about the thematic stuff the execution in both animation and writing are both really good.

#deca-dence #deca dence

[itsakpopalypse]

Lou/Kim Hosung Astrology: How He Loves

OML he’s so precious i wanna squish his cheekies

As always 18+ under the cut

“omg i loved your astrology ask - romantic breakdown with Ayno so much! Can I get one for Lou, please?😊” - @randomkpopfiction

A/N I'm so happy to hear you’ve been enjoying my posts ! Here you go , I hope that you like it !!

Let’s talk tall boi

okay so his big 3 by our best estimation is Aries Rising, Sagittarius sun and Taurus moon, 2 fire and an earth

His chart lean is pretty evenly split between fire and earth, with one more earth and one air. no water whatsoever

that’s notable because water is the emotional element, so that suggests he isn’t prone to big emotional driven actions

we will get into that more as we go 

it’s just something that sets the tone of his chart

also his perfect split between mutable and cardinal suggests he can take the lead or be incredibly adaptable

so he actually seems very chill just looking at those facts 

for the romance-y stuff lessgo

Aries are confident go-getters, so he will seem pretty sure of himself in all situations

whatever he does he puts his WHOLE DAMN ASS INTO IT

we do not half ass anything in this house we whole ass it

can be a little brash, but his moon will help stop that from being too prominent since Taurus is basically the slowest moving most careful earth sign. 

since Aries is a cardinal sign though, he may seem a little intense and take charge in situations where others don’t seem to have their stuff together

Sun in Sagittarius, he is adventurous, lacks fear, and longs for intellectual insights, like he will ask you so many questions and fire back anything he thinks fits his own life

is really interesting to converse with

probably really laid back but still willing to talk to anyone

the kind of person who could make friends anywhere and with anyone

probably super curious and less cautious than he should be 

Taurus moon is affectionate but a bit shy and likes things to be very familiar

they are generally uncomfortable with change so his sun is a great balance to push him into more outgoing settings and to try new things

even if his moon will be a little filled with butterflies 

aw im soft

since your moons is the depth of your feelings he is steadfast and intentional

slow moving but once he has chosen for himself it is his focus

he will be a steady and reliable partner, but still be fun and spontaneous since his sun is so fiery. 

honestly looking through this chart I’m like he would be anyone's coolest best friend and just vibe in the most interesting way what a neat person?? where do i get one ???

let’s translate these and his other signs into a relationship starting with 

FLUFF

listen Sagittarius is the peter pan right? 

he doesn't WANNA grow up 

he wants to experience life and DO THINGS

but his Taurus moon will probably make him shy away even though his heart is BURSTING OKAY

Taurus is also one of the more artistic minded and sensual signs 

so he is creative and romantic and probably loves a cheesy rom com with cuddles

you may have to encourage his courageous side when emotions hit but you may have to chill him out where danger is involved

since his Mercury is Capricorn which is the cardinal of earth he will be really smart about his communication

so he will think things out well and be incredibly clever and quick witted

it suggests his humor is a bit sarcastic and savage and honestly 

like i consider Cap the most ‘millennial’ humor 

as in sarcasm and self deprecation 

but since that Aries stands proud he will probably still simultaneously know he’s pretty fantastic

like he knows he is awesome but also judges himself really hard probably

Venus in Sagittarius so this is interesting

of the fire signs it’s kind of more reserved romantically

Has REALLY high standards when it comes to what he wants in a relationship and intends for them to be met

not like how you look or sound or whatever

but will not tolerate disrespect of degradation on either side

has a lot of pride in keeping his relationships solid and communicative

an enthusiastic speaker, once he has set you as a comfortable person to communicate with he will lean into that and probably has a zillion incredibly interesting things he has pondered over about life and love that he wants to have deep conversations about

he would be the coolest to have talks about really relative things

might need some pushing if you want to discuss emotions 

that Taurus moon will win out only if you nourish and validate his feelings

so if you meet and he likes you somewhere a long the line, it will be a push and pull between Sagittarius wanting to love everyone and Taurus wanting to be sure of someone

the philosopher mind of a Sagittarius will draw him to you platonically and if you are affectionate, steady and warm his Taurus will basically flop down like a huge dog and beg for pats-metaphorically

His venus suggests that he would love to entice you with his wit, his spontaneity and his laughs,

He knows he is charming and full of life and he will use it against you 

and probably tease the ever living shit out of you for it

say he is cracking jokes or being adorable and you stare at him fondly, or giggle at a joke

he will be playful back

expect him to call you out

he is going to say something like “Oh I know I am beautiful but you’ll wear my face out staring like that.” with a wink

honestly a little shit sometimes wtf

doesn’t get jealous and doesn’t tolerate jealousy

so if you start as friends it will be this seamless fit into his friend group and he won’t even care if Ziu lays all over you or whatever

it won’t even seem abnormal to him even if he likes you

in fact he will probably just join the cuddle huddle or make sarcastic jokes about it

Sagittarius venus love fun and new experiences but they are not about to enjoy a shallow relationship

expect him to solidify boundaries and ask you out officially pretty quickly 

They are not a flighty sign even though they are a bit in the clouds sometimes 

the love an intense and passionate love and will not settle for less

Get you those healthy boundaries Lou

so i imagine as adventurous but thoughtful as his blend of signs is, especially with a Virgo Mars

he is going to think of the most interesting and sincere way to ask you out

maybe plan a day trip somewhere special

idk a hike or the beach or something 

and after he’s spent the entire day building memories with you 

he will ask you if you want to keep making these memories

maybe show you a little album on his phone of the selfies he’s taken with you for the last few months

wow soft and cute i love it 

and if you say yes he is going to start by being like oh yeah okay cool

then he will walk a few steps away and turn his back and start freaking out about how happy he is

a bouncy giggle mess over there and you’re like.... are you okay

he’s like.... *cough* yes I am FINE

sure you are

his north nodes is Libra so he is likely to need you around as he accomplishes goals

basically he wants to experience life with you and not separate from you and will work to make sure those goals align with each other

probably neither against nor particularly for public displays of affection

it will matter most to him that you are there with him, and if you want to add affection into it he won’t be opposed

but expect snark

“If you need to hold on to me you can.”

I also see him as the type to fall asleep on you during movies and really relish if he wakes up still in your arms

really low key affection is his thing

probably writes i love you on your leg with his finger when you are in the car or around people but he doesn’t wanna shout it out

likes to put his chin on your head and kiss the top of your head so gently

gently cups the side of your face and stares into your eyes all dreamy 

HAND KISSES

so cute I’m soft 

soft hours are closing

18+  below the cut

must he do this I’m scared

WOOOP 

spicy talk 

INTENSE

playful but intesnse

Sagittarius are exploratory signs  so that will probably make it into the bedroom ngl

like they like new experiences

so he is going to be learning things and sitting you down to talk about hard yes’s and no’s

we stan healthy communcation

maybe a little switchy?

I think he prefers to be in charge of your pleasure but I think he would be down to try laying back and letting you take the reins

to be honest he seems like he would really be into blindfolding ?

like blindfold him and tell him he has to make you cum but he has to do it with just his hands

jfc those hands i think you’ll be okay

lives for excitement and trust in a relationship

it has to go both ways, the Taurus moon demands it

he wants you to trust him with your whole being and he will give that in return

he wants you to be greedy with your own pleasure

“Touch yourself for me baby, I wanna see you”

looks at you like a work of art he wants to paint with his hands and tongue and cum

probably nasty but in the absolute most intimate way

hey you know what he sounds like saying give me more already I expect that’s what you hear after your third orgasm sorry I don’t make the rules

with a Virgo mars (his actions) mixed with so much Sagittarius expect him to treat you like his own personal experiment

really wants you to be as vocal about it as he is 

communicate what you like and don’t

wants you to ride him so he can watch you and comment on how beautiful you are

“you want me to fuck you hard you have to earn it.”

teasing little shit i stg

the Taurus makes me think he is kind of really intimate about it all

the kind of guy who might spank you , but will massage it gently after, 

holds onto the back of your neck and pulls you into his thrusts 

probably furrows his brow in concentration

and he has this like.. excitable side with all this fire energy that makes me feel like he gets really energetic about the whole ordeal

like he is SO AMAZED you are letting him touch you that he just kinda 

implodes

probably makes the softest little groans when you run your nails down his chest

wants to be marked in places no one else can see

doesn’t think of it as ownership or “marking” in  a traditional way

thinks of it as little reminders on his skin for only you two to know about 

that’s kinda beautiful tbh 

aftercare is probably haphazard but it will involve a lot of touching,

like none of his signs are particularly care-taker-ey 

but he will be sure you get lots of affection after more intense sessions so  you feel loved and protected

probably kisses your face all over and pulls you into an embrace

mumbles about your future together as you fall asleep 

it’s really cute aw

TWO MORE MEMBERS and both have been requested, expect them soon!

thank you for requesting and while I have a few more astrology posts and one request for a short story coming down the pipeline, I also have a oneshot I wrote on my own and am currently editing coming. Expect some stuff!!

Requests are open !

#vav lou #lou #kim hosung #vav #vav fanfiction #vav reactions #lou fanfiction #vav smut #lou smut #kpop fanfiction #kpop astrology #astrology asks #kpop astrology asks #kpop asks

[makeste]

I 100% agree with your assessment on the Overhaul arc in bnha. Started series when that was the most recent arc and completely lost interest in the series halfway through. Trying to get started again, though. What would you change about the arc as a whole?

first off, anon, I hope I haven’t inadvertently spoiled anything! you said you’re trying to get back into it now, so just a heads up that this post is also going to contain spoilers for the end of the arc, though that’s probably obvious lol.

also, now that I’m a dozen chapters past it, I’m very happy to say things are moving along smoothly again and it reminds me of the “old” BnHA. all of the little things I missed so much are back. so it does get better! I’m really pushing to get fully caught up with the manga myself now.

so now! regarding this question, there are really two ways I could answer. because truthfully, the most honest answer I could give to “what would you change about this arc?” is “I wouldn’t have had it in the first place” lol. but that’s just me. even if I took out all of the stuff that annoyed me, even if it was more cleanly executed, this arc was just never going to be one of my favorites. it explores some themes that are important, but aren’t really connected to the things I enjoy the most about the series. the focus is too narrow at the expense of a lot of my faves who got excluded. and the tone is just too dark. which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy angst or when Shit Gets Real, but, how to put this… it has more of a DC vibe than a Marvel one to me. it’s more Dark Knight than Infinity War. and that’s just not quite my taste. so yeah, if we’re talking full control over the manga, I would probably have gutted the entire thing and chucked it completely and done something else. not sure what, but it would have been really different.

but since that answer is kind of a cop-out, here are some of the things I would change if I had to leave the main framework of the arc in place, but was allowed to make smaller changes here and there.

speed up/condense some of the stuff that happens after they encounter Eri and prior to the rescue op. it felt like it took way too long to get to the action. we met Eri in chapter 129 and they didn’t commence the rescue until 9 chapters later. some of the stuff that happens in between is important – especially the All Might stuff and the reveal about Nighteye’s premonition – but Kiri’s fight went on longer than necessary, and then there was no need for them all to meet up, start to plan Eri’s rescue, break off to gather more information, meet up again a few days later, and then finally start the raid. that was too much

I would put Kiri’s flashback in his first fight (the one against knifey stabby man). despite me having just said that the fight went on for too long, lol. but this would be a good way to break it up to make it more interesting. and then I could…

put Ochako and Tsuyu back in the arc and give one of them (or both of them – tag team) Kiri’s second fight instead. if their quirks don’t match up as well against Shield Monk and Chance the Rappa then just change those later two’s quirks to something more interesting. their original quirks were pretty boring anyway

put Ryuukyuu in the arc too bc obviously the girls should be accompanied by a grown-up just like the boys were. that part made sense

speed up Tamaki’s fight (like, don’t even bother trying to make it a challenge. just let Tamaki have his time to shine and kick their asses with no trouble), and have Fat Gum stay with him (just toss in an extra bad guy for him to fight) and speed up the Hot Gum reveal. and then just have the two of them get cut off from the others afterward

and I’m not sure what, but have Aizawa actually do something. as opposed to nothing. which is what he pretty much ended up doing

(ETA: I forgot to account for Kirishima during the raid! so now what I’m thinking is that he ends up making it to the final battle along with Aizawa, Nighteye, and Deku, but ends up being plot abducted along with Aizawa. because that’s a very interesting combination to me, and having to look out for his student might be a good way to nerf Aizawa a bit while still letting him actually fight. then maybe Kirishima gets injured much like what happened with him and Fat Gum. and then Aizawa steps back in to beat whoever it is they’re fighting. because it’s probably someone with a more cinematic quirk than Chrono tbh. anyway. so yeah, bonus Dadzawa feels. eventually he will come to realize that all of his kids are, in fact, problem children.)

actually, you know what, since most of my changes would just be little tweaks to the way things play out once the raid starts, I’ll just write up my version of a chapter-by-chapter outline instead

delete most of chapter 138 and have them get to the basement by the end of that chapter

139, Tamaki and FG stay behind to fight. Tamaki has his flashback and kicks some ass

140, we finish up the fight, with FG’s part of it. but the two of them find their forward progress blocked off by Irinaka. the chapter then ends with the ladies staring down another group of villains

141, a quick flashback shows how Irinaka separated Tsu, Ocha, and Ryuukyuu from the rest. Ryuu takes on the stronger villain (dragon time bitches) while the girls tag team a second bad guy. I have no idea how this would go, and it would take more time and effort and planning on my part than I currently am willing to devote since it’s a hypothetical scenario. but I have no doubt it could be very badass. we’ll give this fight two chapters, maybe, so we can have flashbacks and some more in-depth action. so that’s 141 and 142

143, we get League of Villains antics and flashbacks

144, the conclusion of that, and they take down Irinaka

145 and 146, Mirio vs Overhaul, with the others catching up at the end of 146

147, Aizawa (ETA: and Kirishima) get plot abducted and have their own little fight scene. Nighteye gets impaled trying to help the others escape. make that a bigger moment and show a bit more of his fighting beforehand, and make that the cliffhanger. since I’ve now added Kirishima to the mix, this may possibly take up an extra chapter

148, Deku turns back, activates 20% OFA, and fights Overhaul for a little bit but doesn’t do too well. Eri comes back and offers herself in exchange for the others’ safety. the ladies come barging in to turn the tide, having smashed their way through the labyrinth

149, Deku and Eri vs Overhaul part 1. first half of Overhaul’s flashback. establish his backstory and his plan and the boss’s objections. end with 100% OFA

150, Deku and Eri vs Overhaul part 2. second half of Overhaul’s flashback. show him using his quirk to fuck up the boss. (or at least, show enough to make it clear beyond a doubt that that’s what happened. you had no problem showing what happened to Eri and making that abundantly clear beyond what was necessary.) show him afterwards talking about the boss’s sudden decline in health, and how he’ll be taking charge until he’s healthy. show him monologuing about how this is all for the good of the family and one day the boss will be able to understand that too. “I’m grateful to you, old man. so until then, just sleep.” Deku and Eri take him out; chapter ends with the KO punch

151, the aftermath. basically what we got in 159

152, grand theft auto

153, Nighteye feels

bam. end of arc

so that’s more or less it. if we also speed up the pre-rescue stuff, I think this arc could easily be at least 10 chapters shorter. they can cut most of the villain flashbacks, too, since we don’t really need those. we got along just fine without villain flashbacks for the most part before this arc; only Tomura and Stain had them, and we managed perfectly well. also, give them more interesting designs, seriously. having them all try to stick to a theme/uniform with only slight variations was really dull, and there were moments when I genuinely lost track of who was who. none of the heroes look alike even though they’re all on the same team. it’s fine lol

anyways, so that’s my answer, I guess! thank you for the ask!

#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #anon asks

[kimmycup]

*flops down face-first in your inbox* Hi. I live here now. Don't mind me. *groans* I am 2 pages into my paper and I already don't want to anymooore. I hate this. If this were a fic, I'd already be five pages in. Which would mean I'd be DONE. I want Jagnus, with Magnus visiting Jace in the belltower for the first time and totally being into the dramatic aesthetics. And then they kiss. I dunno. My brain is broken... *hides under pillow*

LIKE. Jace moved out of the loft BECAUSE he fell in love with Magnus. And that is Not Good. And now he's living in his angsty dramatic bell tower, dramatically angsting around. And Magnus comes visit because he too has fallen for Jace, right? And then they kiss in the bell tower and get together. But there be angst before that. yes? *nods*

This fic operates under the assumption Max never said shit he said in 2x08.

“Knock knock?”

“Jace.”

Alec was clearly surprised seeing him in the doorway, eyeing the duffel bag on his shoulder. Jace smiled sheepishly.

“Think I can come back home or will the new Head of the Institute uphold my banishment?”

Alec frowned, standing up and ushering Jace inside, closing the door. Jace dropped his bag onto the floor, collapsing on the couch and looking at Alec with pleading eyes.

“Did Magnus do something? Because if he kicked you out and you don’t feel comfortable coming back yet...”

“No, Alec, stop.” He groaned, blushing. “Magnus didn’t do anything. I just didn’t have a reason not to come home, right? And I... I had my reasons. Leave it be. Can I move back to my room?”

Alec shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze and Jace felt his heart skip a beat.

“About that... Your room is a bit occupied.”

“What?”

“Well, Max moved in now that he completed his training, so... You can imagine what his reaction was when he realized your room is standing empty at the moment. You may be able to salvage what things you left there, but I think he adopted a lot of your stuff, old leather jacket included.”

Jace stared at Alec, unable to believe he got his own room kidnapped by his little brother. Still, he could help but smile, shaking his head and feeling warmth spread through him seeing yet another sign of Max’s ridiculous hero-worship of him.

“He probably drowns in it, doesn’t he?”

“He does. He insists he’ll grow into it.”

Alec smiled back and Jace gave up.

“Let him keep it. The room too. Didnt we have a spare bedroom in the bell tower?”

Alec frowned.

“Yeah, we do but it’s a bit drafty? I could ask Magnus to isolate--”

“No, there’s no need. Don’t bother him, it’s still warm and I think the room has a fireplace, doesn’t it? I can live there. It’s bigger than my old room was, almost like an upgrade.”

He smiled, and hoped Alec wouldn’t see through his deflection, focusing on keeping the bond unreadable.

“Well, fine. If that’s what you want.”

There really wasn’t any reason for him to stay living with Magnus and it has become absolutely unbearable. Jace needed to escape. The realization that he had fallen in love with the warlock was absolutely terryfying. Staying near him had become a whole new brand of torture.

Jace couldn’t look him in the eyes and stay so close after it sunk in. He needed to stay away, he needed to separate them before it was too late, before he couldn’t get over it, before he ruined their relationship with Magnus, before Magnus found out.

Coming back home was the right choice, Jace thought, snuggling deeper under the covers and looking at the fire crackling, spreading nice warmth through the room. It was unused for a long time but in his fluffy blue pyjamas and with a few blankets it was enough until the fire spread through the room.

It felt nice. The room was big enough Jace could fit the piano here and it came with a pretty, stained glass, tall, very climb-able bell tower. He was looking forward to that for sure. And being back home was great, wasn’t it? Being back with Alec, with Izzy, with Max, finally, after years of separation.

So why, despite the fire warming the room, Jace felt the cold emtiness spreaing through his heart?

There was absolutely no reason ever for Magnus to suspect that his new living arrengment had been anything but temporary. And with Aldertree gone and Alec in charge, there was no reason for Jace not to come home.

Especially after the war ended, victory that cost Jace his life. It was natural that after literally dying Jace would want to go back to the comfort of home, to his family, where he would feel safe and could process everything easier.

So Magnus had no idea why Jace announcing that he was moving out surprised him. And he had even less of an idea why he found himself disapproving of this idea. He didn’t voice that thought, of course, but it kept nagging him, constantly at the back of his mind.

He missed living with Jace.

Jace Wayland Lightwood Herondale, whatever he was, to Magnus he had at some point become just Jace, a roommate and a friend. He was no longer just another pretty, overly confident Shadwhunters.

Magnus got to know him, got to see the vulnerabilities hdden under as many masks as he had himself, got to taste the amazing cooking Jace did to relax or when he had a free day, got to watch Jace fall asleep on the couch because he got too immersed in a book.

And now that Jace was no longer there, the flat suddenly seemed so... empty.

Oh no.

That was it, wasn’t it? Magnus had gone and done it again. He fell in love.

Magnus knew it was a bad idea. He knew it was an idea he should immediately abandon and forget. But since he was already at the Institute, helping Alec with setting up some stronger wards after bad experiences during the war, he couldn’t help himself.

That was how he found himself at the door to Jace’s bedroom, surprised when the voice that answered his knocking was not Jace’s, and neither was the figure on the bed his familiar blonde.

“Maxwell?”

“Magnus! Hey! Can you do some magic for me? Maybe magic my homework done?”

The sassy kid turned to Magnus with a wicked smirk and the warlock shook his head fondly. 

“I’d love to but I’m afraid I’m all out of homework magic already. I was actually looking for your brother. Didn’t he live here once?”

“He did!” Max practically lit up at the mention of Jace. “Isn’t taht awesome that I got his room? He lives in the bell tower now, last doors on the left.”

Magnus nodded, sending Max a wink and closing the door behind himself with an overly flashy sweep of magic. The awed gasp behind him made him smile. Their world’s future looked a lot brighter with kids like Max, young Nephilim who were fascinated by magic and not afraid of it.

Arriving at the the door Max pointed out, Magnus knocked. This time the voice the answered was familiar. When Magnus gently pushed the door open, he was not prepared for the sight that met him.

Jace’s new room was amazing, lit up by candles, with a paino to the side, embers crackling in the fireplace, heavy mahogany furniture and big, stunning windows. And then...

And then there was Jace.

He was in the middle of the bed, curled together so he looked incredibly small on the huge bed, dressed in blue flannel pyjamas and his hair falling softly onto his face as he was lost in a book.

Magnus couldn’t help a small whimper that left him at the sight.

Jace looked so soft and pure and vulnerable like that, a far cry from the confident, proud warrior, all barriers down and completely exposed. Magnus just wanted to go over an hug him and wrap im in a blanket and take him home.

He wanted to keep him.

He was fucked. As Jace looked up at the pathetic sound Magnus made, blue-brown eyes that fit the PJs so nicely wide, with long eyelashes, Magnus fell just a little bit more in love with him.

“Mags.” The nickname didn’t help Magnus’ poor heart. “What did you need?”

Jace looked hesitant, almost anxious as he slowly closed the book and sat up, looking at Magnus who kind of forgot how to breathe, let alone the reason he came here.

Did he have a reason he came here?

Was stealing Jace to take care of him forever and pamper and cherish him an feed him belgian chocolate and italian wine a valid reason for coming here?

“I...”

He wasn’t sure what to say and Jace kept being distracting, brushing his hair out of his face which only fluffied them up some more and turned Magnus attention to the pillow lines on Jace’s cheek.

Another small whimper escaped him.

“Are you okay, Magnus? Is there something you wanted or are you just going to stare at me and making noises like a dying kitten?”

There was a hint of amusement colouring Jace’s tone by now and damn but that smile only added to the picture.

“I am pretty sure I must have had a reason to come here but you went and had to...” He made a vague gesture at Jace, trying to imply his point. “Can you please stop looking so adorable? It’s distracting.”

Jace chuckled but his cheeks floded with red.

“What? I’m not adorable, Mags. So erm... do you want to... You sure you can’t remember why you came here?”

The atmosphere was becoming slightly awkward, so Magnus decided to come over and sit on teh edge of the bed next to Jace.

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll remember in time. Or maybe I didn’t have a reason and just wanted to be graced by your heavenly presence. What are you reading here?”

“I, what, no, it’s nothing, leave that-- Ugh.”

Magnus happily let his magic keep Jace away as carefully took the book, making sure not to loose the mark of the page Jace left off his reading on. 

Jace groaned, burying his face in his hands and collapsing onto the bed. What the hell did Magnus want from him, sauntering into his room looking like a million dollars, staring at Jace and calling him cute of all things?

Max was cute. 

People like Izzy and Alec and Clary were cute.

Jace was not cute. Jace was broken and crude and too much and no one besides Alec, Izzy and Max ever stuck around to see past all the shitty  vibes he couldn’t help but give off when people where around him.

“Sweet Filthy Boy? My, my , didn’t take you for the BDSM erotica kind of guy...”

Magnus was talking off handedly about the book, an sue him, Jace loved it, he enjoyed it in a way he didn’t enjoy a book in a while, getting lost in it and never wanting to finish, but somehow, Jace couldn’t focus on the warlock’s words.

Magnus’ voice was suddenly irritating, just because of being there when Jace didn’t want it there because what the hell was this whole thing supposed to mean? Coming in with no reason and taking Jace’s time at this hour when Jace was already in bed, in his PJs and drifting off?

“What the hell did you want, Magnus? Because it’s kinda late so if your only plan was to bother me I’d rather reschedule.”

Magnus at least had the decency to look scolded at that.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything, I mean, it’s perfectly okay to be into BDSM and--”

“--oh I don’t need your permission to be into BDSM, kindly fuck off that. Why did you come, here, Magnus?”

His last words came out as a soft sigh, his calm anger rune glowing softly as he activated it with his magic, letting the tiredness take over instead.

“Holy shit, that’s so pretty. Did you know your eyes glow gold when you ativate runes?”

Jace sighed. The warlock truly had the attention span of a kitten.

“Why are you here, Mags?”

“I missed you.” 

Jace was surprised by the words, not sure what happened as Magnus’ whole demanor changed and the warlock laid down next to Jace, looking at him with beautiful eyes, golden and slitted, his glamour down as he seemed vulnerable.

“I haven’t lived with anyone in ages and it was nice suddenly having a roommate but I didn’t realize I didn’t like just company, I liked your company, I didn’t realize that until you were done.”

Jace looked at Magnus with wide eyes and open mouth, unsure what was happening.

“I have fallen in love with your, Jace Herondale.”

Jace’s brain rebooted.

“You’re not serious.” But before Magnus could reject him, looking rather put out by the comment, Jace quickly explained. “I literally moved out because living with my crush got weird, Mags.”

He blushed, watching as Magnus tried to compute what he just found out an a wicked grin, grabbing Jace by the waist and bringing him close into his embrace.

“Does that mean I can keep you? And take you home to my bed?”

Jace just shook his head fondly and leaned in to kiss him.

“Sure. But maybe tomorrow? I’m kinda comfy here right now.”

And as they drifted off together in the bed under the bell tower, Jace realized he was home here too. Some people had more than one home. His was with the Lightwoods but it was also with Magnus.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT PHOE, i dont even know how long it is and its totally not what the prompt said but fuck it, i wrote it all in literally one sitting and chose it over sleep. fucking hell, i havent had a flow like that in ages, is that was being high feels like?

[mossyrossaliceinterviews]

Marcus Love: A Need For a Serious Conversation

Aug 2, 2020

By Mossy Ross

I met Marcus outside of Legion bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn about six years ago. It was shortly after some of the momentum over Occupy Wall Street had faded, but we were both still fired up. I was a few whiskeys deep, so our first meeting is a bit hazy. But what still stands out all these years later, is how many ideas Marcus had. Talking about the problems of the world can get wearying and discouraging. Talking about ideas on how to solve those problems, revives, and instills hope. Marcus had a myriad of methods for how we could join forces to abolish the outdated, racist, misogynist system we all live in, but in peaceful and intellectual ways. He’d composed a series of prolific, melodic hip hop tunes about it, that managed to address infuriating or painful issues while keeping an upbeat, positive vibe. He’d also written a manifesto. He has yet to complete it because, according to him, it wasn’t only up to him to finish writing it, it was up to all of us.

I was curious to find out if Marcus’s passion was still alive and well, now that the protests for the Black Lives Matter movement have begun to decrease. Most likely because so many people are back to working for the system again. And then there’s the unconstitutional use of force that’s being imposed on protesters. I was relieved to find that Marcus is still just as passionate and full of ideas as ever. He’s also written a couple of new songs that we’re excited to be premiering on Alice.

Marcus and I talked in the courtyard of one of the housing projects in Bushwick, while his eleven-year old daughter, Maliah, played with her neighborhood friends nearby.

Mossy: Let’s start with how “I can’t breathe” seems to be the mantra for this summer, but it has two completely different meanings. It’s the cry of George Floyd while he was being murdered by police, and it’s one of the main excuses given for not wanting to wear a mask in public.

ML: People say “It’s our constitutional right” not to wear a mask, and it don’t even have anything to do with that. You wear a mask to protect yourself and other people, because you don’t know if you’ve got (coronavirus) or not. People are dying from it…it might not be nobody you know. But it just shows…everything that’s happening is just exposing everything for what it is. It shows the lack of empathy Americans really have. In the public eye or on TV, it’s like “We’re America. God bless America,” but as soon as you challenge an American, there it is. You can see exactly what we are, what we’ve become, what we have been. Selfish, self-centered…we are the sun, basically. That’s how we feel, and that’s not true. That’s why we bein’ laughed at.

Mossy: It seems like the fury some people feel about wearing a mask, is a sign that Americans truly have no idea what freedom is.

ML: Everything that’s happening is exposing the country. You can’t hide behind the flag, the troops, none of that. When you talk about black lives matter…all lives matter, yeah, we know that. Who don’t know that shit? Of course they matter. But if a certain people is on fire, then you gotta put that fire out first. You gotta bring those people up to where they matter. When you say “All lives matter,” well some people are not feelin’ it. There’s always gonna be mistrust. I understand that. But we ain’t havin’ real conversations, we haven’t had real conversations, we still not havin’ real conversations.

Mossy: What do you think we’re doing instead of having real conversations?

ML: Lookin’ for attention. I think everybody tryin’ to be the man. I think everybody wanna be the person who brought forth a revolution. I think people lookin’ at it in glory form, instead of actual change, and what is needed for actual change. Everybody got their own rallies, everybody got their own protests, and then people inside of the protests is doin’ different things, and it’s just all over the place. And the person who organized (a rally) is at the front with the bullhorn, and it just feels like they want the glory, and not the blood that comes with this shit.

Mossy: How do you feel about the protests dying down now that everyone is going back to work? I mean, I think that’s the way the system wants it. They want us to work so that we’re too busy to continue protesting, or sacrificing for a cause.

ML: And I think some of that was boredom, too. People had a chance to get out the house, and release steam and pressure and anger. Of course don’t get me wrong, there were passionate people, and still are passionate people inside these protests, for sure.

Mossy: What do you think needs to happen? What do you think should be the first thing people should do?

ML: I think there should be some type of common mind meeting ground. Some of these ole’ school leaders, it’s cool. I wouldn’t say they out of touch with what’s goin’ on around here. But when you sittin’ where I’m sittin,’ it feel like they out of touch. I think the new voices, like Sean King for example…it take people like him or other people with influence who really care about this shit, to use their influence to have a gatherin’ spot. It’s the same way you use social media as a tool…I think we should gather first, and talk about some of the things we need to do. And it needs to be from every region. The brightest and the best from the west, from the midwest, the south, the northeast.

Mossy: What would qualify someone as being “the brightest and the best?”

ML: To me, it’s if you can have a conversation with people without bringing religion, or any of the other things that divide us, into it. For black people, some of the things that divide us is money, who’s in charge, religion, social status, values. Basically all the shit that we see on TV… people who sittin’ where I’m sittin’ at the bottom, and all we see is the flashy and fancy on TV…that shit got a tendency to separate us. Even though we all poor, it’s still like, “Who got the best shoes on? Who got the best clothes on?” And we both gettin’ into the same fuckin’ elevator, and live in the same piss poor fuckin’ building.

Mossy: It seems like some of that comes from the white, patriarchal system of values being imposed on all of us. People think showing off is the only way to show they’re equal. So when you say “the brightest and the best,” it seems to me like you’re saying it’s people that don’t see those as meaningful measures of equality, but see intellectual conversations, solutions, and ideas as being more important.

ML: There you go.

Mossy: How would this common meeting ground look, so that everyone could have a voice?

ML: I think it should be just as plain and real as us sitting here talking right now. I think the cameras and media and all that type of shit will cloud it. But I think it should be in places like this. Where we sittin’ right now, is just as fine of a meeting ground as any other place. But I don’t think it should be the big rally yet. It should be a meeting where we find exactly what we want. Like, after this meeting, we know where we’re going, we know what we want. It ain’t gonna be half sayin’ defund the police, and others sayin’ blue lives, black lives, white lives, green lives matter, all this shit (laughs). If you sayin’ that this is America, and every man is endowed by his creator, everybody equal, the law is the law for me or you, black white don’t matter…then what in the fuck is all of this shit? You know what I’m sayin’? It’s just like a back and forth battle…it don’t even have to be a battle. We know what black people go through in this country. Everybody does.

Mossy: It’s just some people are denying it, for some reason. But it’s become undeniable at this point. And that’s where I’m so thankful for social media.

ML: That’s right, it’s not a secret because of all the videos and all that shit. But if you can get past that, I don’t want to have a meeting to sit and talk about what’s wrong. Like “Aw man, black people are gettin’ hit and killed, and black people are livin’ poor, and we need reparations, or we need economic this or that, blah fuckin’ blah.” We know that. We know these are things we need. How are we gonna go about gettin’ ‘em? I’m not King Black Person. So I can’t tell you how we can get to it. But I got ideas that I want to share, so we can come to a point where we can get to a list.

Mossy: What’s one of your ideas?

ML: I don’t think school frees you. Let’s say “poor people.” Let’s take the “black” out of it. To tell a poor person, “Hey man, you can just start at the bottom and work your way up.” Or, “Go to school and get your major, and then start at the bottom and work your way up.” To tell a poor person that, when you was handed your shit, you didn’t even have to start at the fuckin’ bottom…I think that’s ridiculous. I think that schools and funding, especially in communities like these, should have options for children for what they really wanna do.

Mossy: What you’re talking about is the dream school I’ve wanted to open. I think school is the last place for learning. It’s basically daycare. Most of the things I’ve learned came from reading a book. But aside from self-teaching, people could be connected to experts in mechanics, or horticulture, or whatever the fuck else they want to do. And that’s where the funding should go…to paying experts to take on apprentices basically.

ML: You take poor people and you teach them how to do what they want to do, instead of putting so much red tape in front of them to make money. The whole system is broken, and it don’t do nothin’ but keep poor people, black people, cus I’m gonna say it now, it don’t do nothin’ but keep us down. It keeps people lookin’ at you like that bootstrap sayin.’ Like, of course we don’t have bootstraps. The system always gonna look at you like a nigga, because it knows you ain’t got no bootstraps. It knows you didn’t have the education, it knows all of this already. So why we playin’ the game? It’s a game. You bunch people up in housing projects like these, and tell them to start at the bottom, where there’s never no room for growth or improvement or nothin.’ And they really wanna learn to do…but they in the house stuck. They’ve read as much as they could, and now they need hands on experience. They need centers where they can go and learn how to put that carburetor in a car. All that shit without having to pay, or their parents who live in one of these complexes, havin’ to pay money that they don’t fuckin’ got. The system is fucked.

Mossy: Yeah, you learn by experience, you don’t learn in a classroom. It’s a complete scam. If you could do anything, what would it be? Like, if this school you want to create existed, what would you study?

ML: Aw man, that is a great question. Well, as a kid, I would probably start one thing and then move on to another.

Mossy: Which is totally cool. I don’t understand why we’re expected to only study one thing for our entire lives. I think I read somewhere once, that the idea of specializing in one subject was originated by kings. Kings were the ones who could have a variety of skills and interests, but they wanted their minions to be good at one thing and one thing only, so they would be less well rounded. I may be pulling that out of my ass, but…

ML: I would study how to do the audio inside of a car. That’s what I was into when I was a kid. I liked the music inside of a car. And that was big business. People takin’ their cars and gettin’ all their sounds hooked up inside the car. People paid big money to have their shit sound good. All the wires are hidden, you know if something’s gonna blow the speaker, or what’s the best speaker. That is somethin’ that could free you to start a business. And right now, I’m a self taught chef. I taught myself. And I gained experience in the real world by doin’ that.

Mossy: Not by going to culinary school.

ML: Exactly. I did not go to culinary school, but experience and research will put you in a place where you can skip all that bullshit. That’s not for the kids right now. Like, I want to save the kids right now. I want to save them from that bullshit, so they can free themselves. So they really can stand out on the street and be excited about startin’ a business, and startin’ from the beginning. They came out of school with a skill, something they wanted to do, a skill that they learned. And now they’re excited about startin’ it, because they know everything about it and it didn’t break their bank, and it didn’t break their parents’ bank.

Mossy: Taxes would pay for it, because that’s what taxes are supposed to be for.

ML: Yes. So that would be the first thing I would concentrate on. And yes, I would concentrate on in the black community. The black community deserves a chance. We’ve been here forever. The civil rights movement paved the way for a lot of different races that’s comin’ into America. That have come here for opportunities. There’s nothin’ wrong with that. They’re gettin’ jobs, they’re gettin’ ahead. They don’t have the anchors. But we still have the same anchors after fighting to get those anchors off. You see other people comin’ here for the same chances that we fought for, and the opportunity is missed on us. And that’s not sayin’ everybody should go back to where they came from, cus that’s bullshit. This is America. It’s so big. We all can have this opportunity, but you still gotta take the cuffs off of us, though. When people is hollerin’ “civil rights,” think about civil rights, and what that actually means, and why it means that. Think of all the leaders that died. Some from our own hands, some from stupidities, a lot from the country and the way the country is. Infiltration. Pitting each other against each other. It’s easy to do that in the black communities, it’s easy to do that amongst the leaders. But still, with all of that, you just think about civil rights. What happened? Why are people still to this day hollerin’ about civil rights? It’s because black people been through the mud for this shit. And I think it’s only fair that that’s where we start. In the black communities. These are our lowest brothers and sisters. We’re no good unless black people are good. We can’t hold our head up in front of the world, we can’t go to the United Nations, and sit there comfortably, and act like our black brothers and sisters are not in shit conditions.

Mossy: When you look at the black people that are in the United Nations or other political positions, you don’t usually see people from the projects as representatives. They’re usually black people who have assimilated to white culture in one way or another. Whether it’s that they went to college, or dress a certain way, speak a certain way, or have certain values. They’ve got the seal of approval from white people. It’s never white people trying to assimilate to black culture in politics…it’s always got to be the other way around.

ML: Let’s say you grow up in the projects, and you manage to get an office in Washington D.C. First, we already hear how they say Washington works: “If you don’t know this town, it’ll swallow you up.” But let’s say you manage to get there. Automatically you’re gonna feel free. You’re gonna feel free from your situation, you’re gonna feel like you made it. And just like you were sayin,’ the more you’re in that environment, the more your constituents start to change. They’ll start to look different. You’re feeding into the system, and what the system is saying. You’re only one person. So you go to Washington and you wanna talk about the projects where you came from? You’re gonna get nowhere. You might get another black person that’ll come up to you and say, “Hey man, this is how the game is played around here. So if you wanna get some bread and make sure your family is straight, then you gotta do it like this.” So you just keep conforming and conforming. Because there’s no actual grassroots candidate. Like when they talk about grassroots, and people lifting you up to the place where you are the voice of the people…it’s not comin’ from the projects.

And look how the country treats black people. Why would anyone want to work for it, or do anything to make it better? Everybody always talkin’ about how black people act toward the country like, “Look at them, they’re so ungrateful.” Oh my God, that’s like the most horseshit I ever heard. Man, if somebody whooped your ass every fuckin’ day, you gonna wanna go home and fix it, and build it up and be a part of it? Fuck no. You gonna wanna burn that shit down. Like fuck this shit, I can’t wait to get away from this shit. You don’t get no opportunity or chance. Look how grateful black people be, just to get a dishwashing job. Cus you’re so fuckin’ poor, and again, it’s not just black people, I’m just speaking from my black experience. How I was brought up is a big reason why I feel the way I feel. It’s got a lot to do with why I don’t trust my countrymen.

Mossy: What was your experience growing up?

ML: I was born in Cleveland. My father and mother grew up in pretty much broken homes. Their mother and father was together because of the times, but still pretty much broken. Arguin,’ fussin,’ drinkin,’ fighting and shit. So that shit didn’t last. My mom moved to Alabama where my family on my mother’s side is from.

Mossy: Do you know what your great grandparents’ lives were like?

ML: Nope. I was even recently trying to find how far my last name went back, but nobody knows. After a certain time, you can’t trace your history. And we all know why that is. You’re talking to a person who’s alive in 2020, who can tell you without a doubt, that because of slavery and the way it was, you can’t trace my lineage back. Which is another reason to have nothin’ to be proud of. If you white and you can trace back and find your great great grandfather was a king, wouldn’t that inspire you? What if I knew my great great great grandfather was a king? How would I feel? Or one of these kids around here? How would they feel? Or even if it wasn’t a king. Maybe it was someone who was just a great person who worked hard. That inspires you.

Mossy: White people go to therapy all the time to talk about how their parents fucked them up, and how their grandparents fucked up their parents, and so on. This is the same sort of thing that, as a country, I think we have to recognize. Why black people are still in the situation they’re in here, is directly related to things that happened to their parents which happened to their parents which happened to their parents. From slavery, to sharecropping, to Jim Crow, to separate but equal, to mass incarceration…it’s all led to what is happening now.

ML: That is one thing that you can’t tell a boomer or even some of the white people that’s not from that time period. That shit gets completely lost on them because it’s like, “You’re a negro! What the hell do you need a heritage for?” They don’t even think that we deserve lineage or heritage or anything like that. We should just be happy that we were brought over here, not to live waddling in the mud or whatever the fuck they think.

Mossy: And yet clearly heritage matters, that’s why they’re getting all bent out of shape over fucking statues.

ML: Exactly.

Mossy: Okay, so go back to your parents.

ML: My father was a hustler. They was young, they split. My oldest brother came first when my mom was real young, like 16 or 17. Then I came eighteen months later, and by the time I was six or seven, we were living in Alabama. And that’s where I realized I can’t stay in Alabama. I hate everything about the south. I don’t like the weather, I don’t like the people, I don’t like how black people live down there, and I experienced it firsthand. My mom was on drugs, my pops was on drugs. We was livin’ in the projects then, too, and it was always a struggle. My mom would try to sell drugs, she would use drugs. We always moved…I went to every school in Huntsville, Alabama. I only went to one middle school, though. And I think you’ll find this interesting.

I went to one middle school because my parents went to jail at the same time when I was eleven. And there was a white guy in the neighborhood, his name was Walter Matheny. And when I say “the neighborhood,” we was in the hood. And he had a house across a main street, but it was back on a hill. It had a long driveway, it had an arch, it had an orchard, it had land and shit on it. And he had a swimming pool in the back. So if you got a permission slip from your mom, you could go to his house, and he would teach you how to swim. And all the kids used to go over there. I met Mr. Matheny when I was eleven years old, and both of my parents was in jail. And he would teach me and my brother how to swim. He and his wife, Linda Matheny took a liking to us. They would pay us money to do chores around the yard. Like, they knew we were poor little kids. And that would turn into him showing us things in his woodshop.

One day after Christmas, we went up to his house on the usual Sunday. That was how we would get extra money to go fuck around and shit. And he asked us what we got for Christmas. And I remember not wantin’ to say shit, cus my mother was always like, “Don’t be tellin’ my business!” But my brother just says, “Nothin!” (Laughs) Ms. Matheny was in the kitchen, and she came out of the kitchen and pulled Mr. Matheny aside, and then he came back and he just asked us, “What is goin’ on in your lives?” And I told him. Both my parents is locked up right now. My grandma can’t do it. She’s old and she’s gettin’ older and older…there’s just nobody. And that’s when my life changed, for a little while at least. A week later when we came over there to do our cleaning, he asked us if we wanted to live there. Maaaan, fuck yeah we wanted to live there! There was a pool, and he used to have this thing called the Magic List. Whatever you wanted from the grocery store or whatever, you just write it down on the list.

Mr. Matheny, the whitest man I know, was the person who told me about the mistrust, about the way that people might view me. It wasn’t about the way that I looked, but the things I knew. Mr. Matheny would say “Don’t listen to what people around you sayin,’ or what they’re sayin’ on TV. The world is not a scary place,” is what he told me. And I believe the big reason I kept going is Mr. Matheny. That was like my pop right there. Straight up.

Mossy: How long did you live there?

My mom did ten years in prison. So I spent from the time I was eleven there, until I was sixteen. Cus they gave me a car, and they gave me a credit card so I could put gas on it. And my dumbass took the credit card and bought rims for my car, music for my car. Dumbass little kid. They was so pissed. They was like, “No man, we need a break from this. You broke our trust.” So I left there for awhile, and that’s when I went to my first group home, The Harris Home. And then I went to the boys ranch. And then I came back and I stayed with them for another year.

Mossy: What were the group homes like?

ML: They was whack. The Harris Home was, picture a country neighborhood with a whole bunch of houses on it, and each house got a group of kids and a person (to watch them). So they were like, just basic houses, and the food was shit, and everybody knew that you stayed there and you got made fun of at school.

Mossy: That’s another thing that’s fucked up about school., You put all these kids from all these different backgrounds in one room, and the only thing they have in common is their age. That again, creates a situation where kids, at an early age, learn to seek those white patriarchal values. Because the kids that do the best, or get in the least amount of trouble in school; are usually the ones who come from certain types of families, and conform the most, and raise their hands, and do what they’re told, and dress well.

ML: Exactly.

Mossy: Are The Matheny’s still around?

ML: They both are deceased now.

Mossy: What about your parents?

ML: My mom and my father are still alive. My father has kicked the habit. He lives in Decatur now, (he’s a) pretty responsible adult. He got his own house, and he into racin’ and stuff like that.

Mossy: Do you guys talk?

ML: Yeah, we talk. He gave me a Cadillac. He workin’ on it for me right now. It’s a ‘72. I can’t wait to go down and get it.

Mossy: That could be your first project for your car audio business! You could use it as free advertising and just roll around with the bass going. Maybe you could teach yourself. I mean, you taught yourself how to be a chef, right?

ML: Yeah, that’s currently my mission right now, with the Love’s Shack Chicken and Ribs. It’s gonna be a pop-up first. But I won’t open up the Love’s Shack until next spring. I gotta get some more licenses and permits and stuff. Plus I’ve been workin’ on recipes. I cooked my ribs, I think I got a good start for a rub, my chicken and my white sauce…cus this is north Alabama-style barbecue. So I got a pretty good start. I’m just lockin’ the menu down.

Mossy: So you got your barbecue business, and you also told me you have some new songs now. You hadn’t written anything for awhile. Did Black Lives Matter get you reacquainted with music?

ML: Yeah, all of that. It’s been within the last year. You’ll see when you hear the songs. I’m talkin’ to black people, my people, about certain shit that nobody else will tell them or talk to them about. That’s how I feel, that’s what came out of me when I was writin.’ And it’s not what’s wrong, it’s just about us. I’m talking about what I think we should do, or what we can do. And that’s basically to come together, and understand that it don’t matter what hood you in. We live the color of our skin. That’s what I would like people to understand. Especially if you listen to my music and you’re black. We live the color of our skin, we shouldn’t let where we’re from separate us. We got so many things in common. We should take the things that we got in common, and come up with serious goals. I think we’ll be surprised by the shit we can do. Black people themselves will be surprised how many people, around the world, is waiting for us to rise up. Like, come on. This is our country, too. We just have to do certain things to really solidify. We still movin.’ We been movin’ since slavery, since Reconstruction, since civil rights, Jim Crow. Here we are, still moving right along.

We need a political party. You know, to a lot of people, politics is a joke. And to me, right now politics is a joke. Cus it’s always that political filter, it’s never real. It don’t ever feel real to a person who sees real shit all the time. And goes through real shit all the time. It’s just a bunch of mumbo jumbo bullshit. That’s what this political party can be…it can be not that. It can be a real voice for America. America is waiting. That’s why this clown Donald Trump appealed to a lot of people at first. Because he didn’t have a filter to what he was saying. That shit never fooled me. You know it didn’t fool nobody around here. That slick talk con man…we hear that shit all the time. So that’s all he was. But he got people’s attention because that political filter was not there. And that should be the base of our party. It should only put real people out there.

Mossy: I feel like we should no longer have one person as president. Especially in America, if not only in America. We’re the most diverse country in the world. It’s ridiculous that we are constantly only given the choice of old, rich, white men to choose from. We need a panel of people in office, not just one person. We need a white woman, a white man, a black woman, a black man, a trans woman, a trans man, a gay woman, a gay man, indigenous, Asian, Latino…people who represent the mass majority of citizens in America, so everyone is represented. And whatever the most common needs are among the people, that’s the legislation that passes. If that means the old, rich, white man’s vote is lost, then…that’s democracy.

ML: I like that idea.

At this point, an argument broke out among two men in the courtyard.

ML: Let’s see if we need to make a move.

Marcus was afraid one of them might have gone to get a gun, so he wanted to go and take his daughter home.

ML: Like, I didn’t want the interview to be bland or fake. I wanted you to see.

Mossy: It’s like you said (in a previous conversation), everyone’s coming to Williamsburg because there’s nothing open in their neighborhood.

ML: Yeah, they don’t block off the streets here for sidewalk cafes.

Mossy: Did the marches come through here?

ML: Nah.

Marcus’s girlfriend, Liana, shed some light on one of many reasons why tensions are so high in the neighborhood. It’s 99 degrees outside, the air is thick with suffocating humidity, and no one wants to take the train to the crowded beaches, and risk infecting their families. There are no sidewalk cafes, no streets blocked off for recreation like in other white, affluent neighborhoods. People are out of work, with nowhere to go, and no money. To quote Liana, “It’s a recipe for disaster.”

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEhgaSEscFg

Song Premiere: “Same Nigga” https://soundcloud.com/mlove23/same-nigga 

Marcus Love Music: https://soundcloud.com/mlove23 

Marcus Love IG: @starving_artis

Be on the look out for Love’s Shack pop-ups and grand opening: @loves_shack

[ponyregrets]

Bellamy, Leadership, and 402

I was gonna put this up earlier in the week when 402 was still our most recent episode but life happened in ways that got me distracted from meta so whatev have some feelings dump now

Okay, so, obviously, the record will show I love Bellamy awkwardly twitching his eye at Clarke and telling her she can come along on their Azgeda roadtrip in 402, but I also want to talk about that from a larger perspective. Because I think it's interesting to note how completely differently I see that entire interaction going had Clarke gone along.

Part of that is, of course, that Clarke would have been firmly on team "generator now, slaves later." I think that's completely clear and, in theory, that should make it a tied vote: Bellamy, Harper, and Bryan voting to free the slaves vs. Clarke, Monty, and Miller voting to take the generator and leave the slaves.

But, in my opinion, if Clarke was there, it wouldn't have ever come down to the kind of vote that's set up in the episode, because of the way Clarke (and Clarke and Bellamy, as a leadership unit) function and dominate decisions. And it's very clearly a function of Clarke, not Bellamy, which is a surprise in a lot of ways. Back in 104, we get Bellamy telling Clarke to not get other people involved in the Murphy issue, and Clarke learns he's right, and we get a callback to that in 401, when he tells her not to tell people about the end of the world until they have a plan.

On his own, though, Bellamy (especially post-S1 Bellamy) is probably the most democratic leader on the show, by which I mean he is the character who takes the most feedback from other characters. Which makes sense, in a lot of ways. Even in the garbage fire that was S3, Bellamy is positioned as being the leader who actually interacts with his people. Pike is, in theory, a populist leader, and even though the story got very garbled and we had no real perspective of what that meant, Bellamy was allied with the will of Arkadia and (apparently) understood what they wanted. And it's interesting to contrast that with Kane and Abby, who set up an election as an excuse to transfer power between the two of them, and then lose it, because they don't actually realize that their people no longer support them. And with Clarke, who is working "for her people," nominally, but is completely separate from them and doesn't really know what's going on. And at the most opposite extreme is L.exa, a leader who has no obligation to listen to her people; despite being positioned as a uniter, she's a monarch who rose to power because of the color of her blood and her ability to murder people, and if she represents what her people want (and it's not totally clear to me that she does), it's because of luck.

The show has this problem with Bellamy that's also a strength, which is that it doesn't really think he deserves the power he has. It's unfortunate, because Bellamy has, over and over, earned his position as a leader, and the show still sort of acts like he hasn't. You think about Bellamy saying something like "You may be the chancellor, but I'm in charge," and it's just not something the show would ever do in an uncritical way; that wouldn't be a triumphant moment for Bellamy, but a villain moment. But it has this nice upside of meaning that Bellamy gets to consistently show what kind of leader he actually is, and gets to show why he has the power he does, which almost no one else does.

(I do think Clarke basically does this in S1, where she seizes power in a fairly organic way, which I think of as most analogous to working on a group project for class, and she's not planning to take charge but NO ONE ELSE IS DOING IT RIGHT and GUYS WE ARE GOING TO FAIL, COME ON)

Bellamy, again, listens to people, and that's true in S1 for him too, when he's largely a villain with fairly shady motivations. Because the way he rises to power is by appealing to what the delinquents want, and by rebelling against the cultural elites, who don't understand what the people actually need. His motivations aren't altruistic, but his focus is textually giving the people what he wants.

And this is consistently a way that he leads. In small groups, Bellamy is basically always in command, but he also doesn't mind taking a backseat. @hawthornewhisperer reminded me of the scenes in 301 in the rover, which do this in a lot of nice ways. During the singing scene, Bellamy is basically acting as the authority figure, but in a nice way, not joining in, but enjoying his friends enjoying themselves with that slight distance. And then, when they get the signal from farm station, they talk about it, and he cedes the final decision to Miller and Monty, as the people with the most direct connections to farm station.

Again, these are actions that, to me, read as unique to Bellamy, as a leader on the show. Most characters have a range of Trusted Advisers on whom they depend. L.exa, again is on the far end of the spectrum, IMO, as I think the only person she seems to think is on her level is Clarke (with people like Titus and Gustus as advisers, but still not her equals), and then people like Kane, Abby, and Clarke, who have groups of other leaders they trust and whose opinions they value, but who don't seem to be as aware of their actual people.

There are a lot of extra-textual indications that the show thinks this is the "right" way to do things, although I'm hoping their return to Clarke and Bellamy as a leading unit also signals a return to more of a balance. Season three especially ended up doing a whole lot of "have you considered that if you find the right person to make all the decisions for you society, dictatorships really aren't so bad" vibes, which was not really a message I was totally down with, but it's definitely been present throughout the show, starting with both Bellamy and Diana Sydney as leaders who were ostensibly working "for the people," but were doing it with worse motivations than the ruling members of the elite class.

So, to get back to the episode at hand: I think it says a lot about how the show sees Bellamy that they set up a big moral choice for him as a discussion between him and four of his friends, where all of them stated their opinions before he did, and then called on him to break the tie. And it says a lot that these friends have previously acted as subordinates, not equals, and that he ultimately sided with the characters in whom he has historically placed the least trust.

(Which is not to say that Bellamy distrusts either Bryan or Harper, of which we have no indication, but we know from S1 that Bellamy looked to Miller as his second for some time, and maybe still does, and he and Monty are tight in S3, whereas he doesn't get much significant interaction with either Harper or Bryan.)

It's also notable to me that everyone goes with this, and that there's no indication of hard feelings from Miller or Monty about the decision. The show even makes a point of showing that Miller assumes he and Bryan will be cool after this, and that Bryan is betrayed by the disagreement in ways which no one else (apparently) is. Even Monty, who came up with the idea of using the Ark as a shelter in the first place, goes along with Bellamy's judgement without question, and he's not present for Clarke and Raven's disapproval later, although he could easily have been saying that he voted against it and speaking out against Bellamy.

I don't think most of this is something that the writers were thinking about or aware of, but I can't imagine it going down like this if Clarke was around. When Clarke's around, she and Bellamy become a leadership unit, and even if other people made arguments, it would ultimately be Their Decision in distinct way from this being Bellamy's Decision. When Bellamy and Clarke do something together, he makes a point of sharing the burden with her (see: Mount Weather); when Bellamy does something for the rest of the group, he makes a point of taking responsibility on himself, even if he's not the one who made the decision alone.

If Clarke had been there, I feel pretty sure they would have left with the generator. She would have talked Bellamy around, and they would have come up with a plan to come back for the slaves that probably wouldn't have worked, and it would become another shared sin for the two of them, because that's what this show does with Bellamy and Clarke.

But I think we would have seen resentment towards them from Harper, and it would have been another sign that Clarke is out of touch with her people, and does the right thing for them even when they disagree with her. Whereas Bellamy does what the show tends to paint as the wrong thing (or, perhaps more accurately in this case, the less right thing), but does so with the respect and support of his people.

(Including, in my reading of the scene, Clarke, whose rebuke about innocent lives is fairly mild and without any kind of anger, and who immediately shifts to their standard operating procedure to deal with the situation: Bellamy made a hard decision, and I will bear the burden of dealing with it with him, including misleading my people to minimize how bad it is.)

So, yeah. You see Clarke spending the episode figuring out whom to trust with her decisions: Raven and Bellamy are a given, and Monty is an interesting addition to the initial scene, clearly representing an upgrade. She has to decide how she feels about advice from Jaha, who's trying to elevate himself to the position of peer, but who does not have her trust.

Bellamy is the leader on the show who listens to everyone he's with, and who makes his choices based on all input. Clarke makes unilateral decisions and therefore often has no one to blame but herself; Bellamy presents group decisions and shields the rest of the group from responsibility for them. All of which makes sense for their overall dynamic, with Bellamy as the direct leader in the trenches and Clarke as the big-picture leader off the front lines, and I think it's part of why they make such a good team. But I do think it ends up being part of the frustration with Bellamy as a character on both sides, where he actually gets the most textual support for being a good leader who has the respect of his people, but also gets the least credit for it, and ends up shouldering almost sole blame for decisions that were made by popular vote where everyone had a defensible point of view.

So I will stand by my first reaction to the 402 decision, which is that it is Peak Bellamy Blake, on, like, every level. Not just because he'll always save the person in front of him from a definite threat, but also because he's incapable of ignoring the people in front of him, will always listen to them and consider their points of view, and then will always take the full burden of whatever he does based on what they tell him. Which I also like as a way of looking at Bellamy not wanting to tell people about the end of the world until they have a plan, because Bellamy is basically incapable of not listening to people and not thinking about their point of view, and if everyone knows, he has five-hundred people with opinions he's going to have to think about and present to the rest of the group and fight about, while almost everyone else in the show is great at just ignoring things they disagree with, that's not Bellamy's thing. Which is kind of adorable, honestly; his position seems to be, well crowds make bad decisions and leaders do what they think is right but I AM TOO EMPATHETIC AND WILL LISTEN TO EVERYONE'S OPINIONS so let's just keep this on the down low. Good job, buddy.

(Also, I can't help mentioning, I think one of the reasons we get so many weird mixed messages in S3 is because Pike is positioned as kind of a Trump figure, taking advantage of people's prejudices and fears to rise to power, but, unlike the threats that Trump leveraged, there was really a lot of legitimacy to what Pike was actually saying, and plenty of good reasons the citizens would be upset about Kane's alliance with L.exa and with a grounder army literally at their gates, and the show dropped those as unimportant sidenotes, instead of genuine conflicts. It's REALLY HARD to talk about how Bellamy was Respecting the Will of the People in 3A in a post-Trump world, guys. But the writing really downplayed how many real issues there apparently were for Sky Crew.)

#bellamy blake: human disaster #a rare sidetrack into meta #if last season is anything to judge by it won't happen again #the 100 s4 spoilers #the 100 s4 #the 100 spoilers #the 100