#i crush their fragile ego by saying their advice doesnt work and they get upset instead of adjusting it to help solve the specific problem

[autisticlee]

that feeling when you get advice from someone who you know is well-meaning and has good intentions....but it's just the most allistic, neurotypical, and/or abled advice you have ever heard and completely invalidates the point you're trying to make about why you struggle to do the thing in the first place.

they're telling you to "do it in this specific way that is completely opposite of how you physically/mentally work" for example, make eye contact/read people's facial expressions and intentions! but you're autistic. initiate verbal conversation and don't be shy! but you're nonverbal or semispeaking. get out of the house more and participate in these physical activities! but you're physically disabled. Just Be Yourself! but you have DID/OSDD/other personality disorder. etc.

i'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help. I appreciate it, really. but it's all things i've heard before and none of it helps me specifically. I have tried (maybe even still try out of habit) and learned I can't just do those things. they don't work for me or cause more issues. practice isn't the issue. not everyone can simply willpower through everything. but thanks for trying 😔✊️

#autistic #autism things #autism #actually autistic #adhd #audhd #neurodivergent #disablity #disabled #too tired to tag other thinhs sorry thats all you get #lee rambles #that feeling when you also just have to pretend to accept their advice and move on because people get so upset when you dont take it #i lesrned if i tell people their advice doesnt suit me and my unique circumstances then they feel bad that they didnt help #they want you to do it anyway. even if you cant. pretend you do or say thanks and move on. but it gets annoying hearinf the same stuff #over and over. more expectations on you. more pressure to do things in ways everyone else can but you cannot... #when will the advice be lee shaped? when will it be just for lee and consider all my circumstances? #why is telling the person giving advice their advice wont work fkr me bad? why cant they change their advice to fit the issues i face? #when im asked for advice and someone hits a deadend while working it out i try to help solve that so they can find a way around #but everyone else expects me to grow a bulldozer out of my head and ram the wall down instead of helping me work around it #i crush their fragile ego by saying their advice doesnt work and they get upset instead of adjusting it to help solve the specific problem #its exhausting because they become one of the many problems i have to deal with then 😒 #no im not “making excuses/dismissing you/not trying” im trying. your advice sucks try again. and my problems are valid!!!!!! accept it!!!! #anyway. genuinely appreciate people wanting/trying to help but sometimes its such inappropriate advice i dont know how to respond