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okiedoketm · 5 years

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pls talk about your clay siblings hcs! what are all of their names, what are they like, what do they enjoy?

Oh we are about to have so much fun here.

For anyone who’s curious, this is referring to my efficiently named fic Hey Caduceus Come Eat This Snail, which I first wrote just for the cute Baby Caddyshack moments, then stumbled into plot and… well making headcanons for the entire Clay fam tbh. Details under the cut!

So I don’t want to give everything away, since I have another 3 chapters queued up, but I can give you the magic table @apricotsandlemondots (this fic’s lovely art gal) and I use to keep track of the Claybies. Names, human-equivalent-ish ages, etc.

When I started writing this (the day Taliesin gave the trash fire quote), we didn’t know much about the Claybies - and we still don’t - so if it wasn’t on the official wiki, I made it up! Only canon details I really had: Clarabelle (sister) “was weird,” Corrin (unknown gender) exists, and his Father’s name is Cornelius. Plus, Cad is a younger sib and has a lot of sisters.

Rad. From there I assumed everyone’s name starts with a hard “C” and I made them all Latin-based because that seems to be a trend and, well, I like Latin.

When it comes to characters, I honestly just let them develop as I wrote, with sort of a vague idea. My baseline parameters were that Calais, in true Disney-older-brother fashion, would be kind of a shit head, and CJ as the oldest would be involved in running the temple and therefore the most responsible, but also still a sibling at heart.

I’ll give a few details on each of the sibs, but I don’t wanna give it all away! (After everything is published I’ll come back to this and add anything that doesn’t make it into the final draft.)

Cleo (2) - basically she’s babie. she’s cute, under Corrin’s care, and isn’t talking yet. not much else to say about her except that apricot’s design of her melted my heart

Caduceus (7) - imagine our caduceus, but not all the wisdom yet? that’s my baby caddyshack. he’s dumber than a sack of bricks and I love him.

Clarabelle (8) - the one sibling I had canon info on! it’s hard to make a character weird for her family when they live in a graveyard, tbh. my take was that she’s very independent and spacey, and is off unlocking the forest in druidic ways that confuse pretty much everyone. also i just took all the weird things me and my little sister ever did and imagined her doing it. she’d stick both arms in a bucket of glue just to peel it off.

Corrin (10) - You want to experience Corrin firsthand in the next chapter without any priming. trust me.

Calysta (13) - other middle kid! in my experience, the midkid tends to be the most empathetic, so calysta’s got a big heart! cad also mentioned that one of his sisters made his armor for him, so i made her a paladin and gave her a sword bc lets face it the midkid is also the most likely to shiv someone outside of the family.

Camilla (15) - she’s close with Calais, and kinda a shit head by proxy! she’s a bit more petty and lazy than he is, but still somehow more likely to show concern and affection for her sibs. there’s a lot of complexity in her. i really do like her a lot she’s a low-key fave.

Calais (16) - my high-key fave just bc i created him first and he’s such a shit head i love him. he’s a teenage boy! they’re like 90% apathy and being the worst. yeah. he lives to torment his younger siblings. it’s the best. (fun fact: he’s named after his mother!)

CJ / Cornelius Jr. (19) - the business boy! spends most of his time with Cornelius Sr., learning the ins and outs of taking over the grove. he’s acutely aware of the responsibility on his shoulders, and takes the job seriously. that being said, he loves his siblings and isn’t above getting involved in antics from time to time!

And i gotta say, @apricotsandlemondots‘s art really brings them all to life. The moment she sends me a design i literally can’t believe i didn’t think of the sibs like that the whole time. they’re great and sometimes when i need a pick-me-up i look at the Calais one and feel better. it clears my skin.

(side note, in the middle of writing this, talks machina happened and Taliesin dropped some juicy Claybie Content, including pranks? love that. apricot made art and it really did kill me)

Those are my headcanons for this fic! I’m sure by the time it’s all published it’ll be total au, but i don’t even care since I’m having such fun with these Claybies! what they enjoy is a bit of a spoiler in some cases, but you’ll find out soon!

Thanks for taking interest in our little Clay family! If you have any more questions I’m more than happy to answer them here!

#screaming into the void #hey caduceus come eat this snail #critrole #cr2 #critical role #maddy summons friends #anonymous

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shutterbug-12 · 5 years

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Succession S2E3 Thoughts

I...am sickened. And that made me hurt. Lots more under the cut.

Overall:

Well. That was terrible and horrifying and heart-wrenching. Obviously, Boar on the Floor was...just...the most awful thing that’s ever happened in this show. In a lot of shows, actually. It was humiliation porn, and it was sickening. It was in no way funny. And I wish Tom and Greg would run far, far away from this terrible family, but...I can’t realistically see that happening. The only redeeming thing about this episode was (aside from Connor’s continued absurdity) Tom’s decision to protect Greg, showing that, despite wanting some prestige and status for himself, he doesn’t want it that badly and that he is still different from...this fucked up family. That he has a god damn heart in there. The two of them at breakfast the next day, guh. *hugs them* I really think this bonded them more than they already were. And I kind of do want them to just...run away and open a California Pizza Kitchen. And be loved and safe.

And, after Shiv’s continued horrible behavior towards Tom (the world, really, but especially Tom), I wish Tom would leave her, but...he won’t. It goes without saying that Logan acted in a disgusting way--beyond disgusting--but so did Shiv, as she always has; we’re just seeing it more out in the open now, more obvious. Everything she does is calculated and deliberate. And everything she does is selfish. What she pushed Tom to do was both of those things--she wanted to insulate herself from having to tell Logan what she thought of the acquisition and position herself advantageously in his mind, and she didn’t give a shit about what it might do to Tom. I can’t even get into how I feel about all this open marriage bullshit. Look, I know polyamorous relationships can and do work, but this is in no way working and in no way healthy, for them, especially for Tom. And my heart just...broke for him at the end. Just...into a million little pieces. I realize that Tom has never fully come out and told Shiv that he is absolutely not okay with this, but if she didn’t see it in his face and hear it in his voice, then she...is either more callous than I even thought or positively oblivious. But, as Shiv has said herself, the essence of a person can’t and won’t change, so I don’t see her somehow experiencing some grand revelation and changing her behavior in this relationship. I am totally mystified at how Sarah Snook (who is great, absolutely) insists that Shiv loves Tom. Completely baffled, because I continue to see...no love there, from her. I see that he loves her. I do not see that she loves him. So...color me interested to see how she changes, I guess? But right now, at this moment, I’d like to push Shiv off the top of the Empire State Building.

And I want to surround Tom with as much love and affection as possible. Oh, speaking of Tom--I’m not sure how much more shit he can take, really. I’m worried about him. I wouldn’t be surprised if next episode includes the water bottle throwing, because, even though I think he and Greg are more bonded than ever, I think Tom has quite a bit of misplaced anger to get rid of, and I think he might hurl it in Greg’s direction.

Kendall: I am disappointed in him. He is still a lifeless zombie, and I need awesome Kendall back. The savvy businessman with a heart. I want him back.

Roman: I admit that I felt a tiny bit of sympathy when we really got to see the little insecure child that he really is.

Connor: please keep being stupid, I love you.

As I watched:

I'm a time-pressed executive. Oh, Greg. Trying to speak so clearly, and use big words. And yet...you're failing to mention any of this is off the record. You said all the words but the most important ones. Oh, there they are. Said 'em too late.

Who's dying? Well, Logan doesn't care, whoever it is.

This Logan sidekick adviser guy was a Nazi in a movie, wasn't he? I swear, he was. I just can’t think of which one.

Wow, a real meeting to executives.

"French kissing an armadillo." A+ for that, dude.

No, Gerri does not like this. And she's a smart lady. I'd listen to her.

I love how Tom is trying to absorb all this Logan-and-business-related information, but...is clearly struggling to keep up. I also like that he's clearly not comfortable there. He even sat himself at the far corner of the giant table, next to no one. At least you're pretty, Tom.

A morale booster. Uh huh.

Oh my dear God, Connor. The ideas primary. He is nutso. So nutso. And I think Roman is serious about 1% of the time, but I totally believe him when he says Connor only knows about jail from Monopoly.

Ha, Tabitha! You've just fucked all of NY's elite, haven't you? And Tom. Sort of.

A big angry puffer fish bristling with dick. Bwhahaha. No, Tom, you're right, I would stay far away from whatever that is.

You know what, Shiv? I know you're really pissed off because you weren't invited to the corporate retreat when you're...you know, not yet part of the family business, which was...your own damn choice, but don't ask Tom to do that. You know what's going to happen.

Tom, come on. Hold your ground, maybe?

Your meat puppet? Wow. Oh, don't try to walk it back. You're not joking. You know how I know? Because it was mean. Not funny. Okay, well, at least you can admit you weren't joking, Shiv.

Greg, bless you. A very white, very wealthy band. U2! Ahahaha!

Historically speaking, when I'm betrayed, it's usually you. Okay, that was kind of funny.

No, no, no, bad time Tom. Don't talk to him now. Don't talk to him at all. Don't do it.

WONDER WOMAN! IT WAS WONDER WOMAN. That sidekick dude was the Nazi dude or whatever evil power he represented in Wonder Woman. Ha. I remembered.

Sam looks like a douche. Cool hair, bro.

Was Greg in the front craning for a look around? OMG, he was. Eheheh. He's taking pictures, I love him.

Tom in a sporty down vest. Love.

It IS good to see Frank, actually!

Connor's scenes have seriously become some of the most hilarious ones of the show. He is so incredibly absurd. Hyper-decanting, ahahahahahaha. I'm dying.

I can't get over how Shiv can speak truths about other people, but be so, so hypocritical at the same time.

Aww, Tom doesn't want to lose his buddy. A girl can start to wonder. Aw. On the friend level. Awwww!

Ratfucker Sam! Yeah, he looks like a ratfucker. Is he nice? You're asking about the moral character of a man named Ratfucker Sam? That...is the funniest line in the show so far, OMG.

Aw, that was a great scene, too. With Greg and Tom. Tom knows how vulnerable Greg just made himself. He knows the kind of damage he can do to Greg with this information.

Kendall's hat! Can we talk about Kendall's hat?!

Oh, man. Everyone is putting Tom up to be the sacrificial lamb. Oh, yikes. Poor Tom. Practically getting pushed now. Ugh, of course Gerri and Karl know Shiv asked Tom. *hugs Tom*

Aw, Greg and Tom really are cut from the same cloth, aren't they? Tom's bizarre preamble "heads up" is almost exactly like Greg's "pre-meeting" with the author. Gaaaaah. I'm already cringing. Oh, poor, precious Tom.

........ Just a guy who works for me? Shiv. ......fuck right the fuck off, you fuck. Also, did you take your rings off? Or is that guy just a blind moron? Don't let me down, soldier. Ugh.

Logan, you trying to get us drunk? Taking a page out of Roman's playbook? Oh, damn. That hurt my heart. "Why don't you pipe down until you tell me I've got a grandson coming? Or are you shooting blanks?" That...man, that was even more painful for Tom than Logan intended, probably.

This is...excruciating.

Oooh, but what a great shot of Logan and Kendall.

This is some nightmarish shit. This is so fucked up. I just...this is like...psychological torture. Way, way beyond bullying. This is humiliation porn, and I am a little bit sick over it, to be honest.

Ugh, and now we get to see Shiv fuck another dude. Cool. Ah, she did take off her rings. And it is NOT simple, Shiv. It really isn't.

Can I just...Tom needs to get all the hugs and love and ice cream ever. Just...all the cuddles.

I think this is the strongest Tom has ever been...just...showing up to breakfast in the morning. I would have tried to become one with my bed and pretended to be dead until everyone else left. Someone please hug him.

They need to hug Greg while they're at it. Just bear hug those two at their sad little humiliated breakfast table. At least Greg is saved. For now.

Awwww, Greg saying thanks. Tom touching him, aww. That was...nice. The only two decent hearts in the room, I swear. (For the record, Kendall, I still believe in you, but you've become a lifeless puppet, and I want you to come back, please.) A little cute, though, that Gerri is taking pity on man-child Roman.

NOBODY KNOWS THE PRICE OF A GALLON OF MILK. I'm with Roman on this one.

Tom, baby, just walk back out of the house and never come back. He doesn't even try to hide how he felt about that terrible...ness. Oh, god, and he's trying to stick up for himself just a little bit. SHIV, GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE WHILE HE'S TALKING, JUST ONCE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Okay, okay. Good.

Also, Tom, it's not at all being a dick to want to have an equal say in a relationship. But, I hate to break it to you, I don't think Shiv is going to change any time soon. I just can’t see that happening. She even said so herself, that the essence of a person can’t change.

Aaaaaand my heart just broke. Tom's little..."Oh. Maybe later." And he's so desperate for some kind of affection that he needs to hug her anyway. Guh. Just. Kill me now. That was agonizing.

Yeah, that whole thing was agonizing.

#succession hbo #succession #tom wambgans #greg hirsch #kendall roy #logan roy #roman roy #connor roy #shiv roy #ratfucker sam #i'm sorry but i had to give him his own tag

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honeylikewords · 5 years

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Anon Asked: Ok so i’m curious: if you can, could you rank your favorite Oscar boys from least to most boyfriend material? they all seem very charming and sweet but i can’t figure out who the cream of the crop is!

First of all, THANK YOU, I L O V E making lists of my favorite things. You guys know that. Listicle formats are, like, my lifeblood. Thank you for enabling me.

Second, I’m going to rate these on MY personal scale. Now, I also should point out that “husband” and “boyfriend” mean two different things to me, and that I instinctively value “husband” material more than “boyfriend” material. The “husbands” are going to be the winners of this list, because I can see them having long-term, fulfilling, happy and mutually beneficial relationships with their partners. So, without further ado, here is my list, from LEASTboyfriend-able to MOST husband-able.

1. The Unmentionables Category.

These boys don’t even get to be part of the discussion because in their roles they are either misogynistic, evil, assaulters, or something else to prevent them from entering the race. A little villain apologism here and there is okay sometimes, but only to certain degrees, and these boys exceed it. Blue Jones, Nathan Bateman, En Sabah Nur/Apocalypse, and John, King of England all exceed my limitations. Begone, thots. You’re disqualified for the Boyfriend Campaign Race. (I do still like them as characters, though, or for Sexy Oscar Gifs, but they’re just… un-boyfriend-able!)

2. The Low Tier Boyfriends.

These boys are boyfriend-able, but come with some problems. Can we sort them out on here and make them into better boys on this blog with careful re-writes? Maybe! Are we doing that in this list? No! We’re just taking objective looks at these Oscar-boys as they stand. So, here are the low tier boyfriends.

Laurent LeClaire: He’s sexy, but he’s also, like, a murderer. And a bit of a playboy. Could we make him better on this blog? Absolutely! But, as before, we’re just looking at them as they are. So, sexy French boy or no, he’s a pretty low-ranking Oscar for the murders and the philandering.

John “Jack” Johnson: Kinda dirty, kinda rude, also a murderer, but nice to dogs and pretty darn intelligent. He’s sure somethin’. Only slightly higher on the list than Laurent simply because I liked him and he made me laugh, and he was good to a dog, so I suppose that’s a tick for him!

Bud Cooper: A bit of a sneaky boy! I like him a lot, but his trickery and sneakery place him lower on the list. Still, points for looking good in a weird mustache, and points for being clever!

3. The Middle Tier Boyfriends.

These boys are much more boyfriend-able, but still have baggage. Could you work around it? Hypothetically, sure! But we’re still just discussing canon behavior, so let’s rock and roll.

Llewyn Davis: Llewyn is shockingly low despite how much I like him, but he has a LOT of issues. Besides his inability to hold a stable job and the couch surfing, Llewyn struggles with attitude problems and relationship issues, apparently having to deal with the issue of terminated pregnancies with two women. We could certainly gloss over that for a more romanticized Llewyn on this blog, but I think it’s important to address that while he holds a place in my heart, he’s a difficult person and a little hard to love, maybe because he doesn’t know how to love others or himself yet. So, he’s higher on the list because at least he isn’t a criminal, but he’s low-ranker because of his life issues. Maybe if he sorted himself out more…

Basil Stitt: Basil’s got problems. I mean, just… a lot of problems. But I like him, and I like his scars, so I think we can work with him. Having a paranoid breakdown after sustaining an injury isn’t the worst thing that a person could do, right? We’ve all been there; scared, alone, afraid. I think, with time, Basil could really make steps in the right direction and be quite a cute boyfriend.

Shiv: Shiv’s a sweetheart. He’s doing his best in a world not inclined to allow him the freedom to do so. Sure, he’s a criminal, but he has a heart of gold and wants to make his son happy. He wants to do better. He’s kind, if misled, and a little dumb, but, hey, morosexuals stand up, ya know? He’s a cutie, even though he’s involved in some shady business. With a cleanup and a fresh start somewhere else, who knows? Maybe he could be a much better boy and end up in the husband range!

4. The High Tier Boyfriends.

Oh, now, these are some boys. These are some cute boys. Oof. Yeah. Let’s see these boys!

Rydal Keener: Poet, dancer, thinker, and sometime scam-artist, Rydal is a Grecian romance just waiting to happen. He’s not perfect, but he’s passionate, he’s sweet, and he’s doing his level best to try and get himself out of a sticky situation. He’s young; let’s find him some young love!

Standard Gabriel: Oh, Standard, how my heart beats for thee. I love Standard, and the only reason he’s lower on the list is because he’s got a lot going on in his life that makes it hard for him. Cheating wife, creepy people following him around, prison sentence sitting on his shoulders from the past; things are hard for our baby. But he’s resilient, he’s loving, and he’s loyal. And if given a new chance in a new place, I fully believe that Standard would be a great boyfriend, and, someday, a great husband.

Reeves: Sentimental, sweet, and a sumptuous songwriter, Reeves rings of a great boyfriend. He’s soft and tender, but firm when necessary, funny, relaxed, and witty. This guy has it all, and when he finds love, he hangs on tight. Ten plus years, tight, apparently; he’s still chasing the girl he had a crush on in high school! How sweet is he?! A beautiful boyfriend, no doubt.

5. Husband Tier.

These boys are the peak performance. These boys bring it. These boys aren’t just boyfriends, they’re partners, fiancés, and, one day, husbands. These are not just boys… they’re Men.

Kane: Loyal husband and dutiful soldier, Kane’s endured a lot, but still did his best to come home to his wife, even if it wasn’t “him”. Kane deserves to be a husband with a woman who will love and appreciate him as he loves and appreciates her (which I assert is NOT Lena. Lena did NOT appreciate that man). The only reason he’s lower on this list is because of the unfortunate nature of his storyline, and because he’s part-alien now. Actually, that last one isn’t that bad. He’s a cute alien. We stan.

Santiago Garcia: This man has been through so much, and I want him to be happy. He’s kind, great with kids, funny, generous, protective, and strong. I would rant and rave about him, but then this post would be a mile long. I love you, Santi. Brave boy. Husband.

Orestes: Orestes was in love with the same woman since he was a young man and advocated for her freedom and equal status in society, trusting her as his sole counsel consistently through his years as a public servant. The dude took a stone to the head for defending her. He went on stage to declare his love and play her a beautiful two-flute solo, for God’s sake! This man is husband material.

Mikael Boghosian: Actual angel. Has endured the depths of hell. Deserves all the love in the universe. My words are not enough for his goodness. Please, someone, fill this man’s life with joy and light. I am begging. This is a husband.

Abel Morales: I would fucking die for Abel Morales but he’s so good a man that he would never let me. My love for him is as boundless as the stars and twice as bright. May God’s light shine forever on his perfectly coiffed hair. Holy angel of the heating oil industry.

Miguel O’Hara: SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN, DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN! FILLS MY HEART, UP WITH LOVE, AT OUR WEDDING RELEASE SOME DOVES! LOOK OUT, I LOVE YOU, SPIDER-MAN! But in all seriousness, the guy’s great. A goober, yes, but nevertheless, his fangs have pierced my heart and I am paralyzed with love for him and also venom.

Poe Dameron: I betcha all knew he’d be at the top of this list. I betcha knew. He’s… Poe Dameron, you know? What can I say that hasn’t already been said? We know he’s wonderful. He just is. He carries his mother’s ring, searching for his future spouse. This man is a husband. I love him. I will not change my mind.

6. Honorable Mention Husband.

Peter Malkin: Since Peter Malkin is based on a real person, I feel hesitant to talk about him. However, since the movie was juuuuust enough divorced from reality and his character changed juuuuustenough to call it fictionalized, I’ll include him. I love Peter Malkin. He’s a good good Jewish boy who visits his Mama for Shabbat and wears his kippah and that man is a primo husband. N*zi hunter, loving son, honorable soldier. We have chosen to stan forever. And wed, when the time is right. Mazel tov!

There are some other boys who didn’t make the list simply because I didn’t wanna go too overboard and make a too overwhelming post, but here’s my general take on the order from least to most boyfriend-able, and then husband-able. This list also shifts around depending on my mood, and the order in which some of the husbands are categorized can change from day to day. I love them all! I will not be silenced!

I hope that helps, and if anyone is curious about where a non-mentioned boy falls on the scale, lemme know and I’ll either add him or explain his spot in a separate post!

#let's hope this posts clear and clean jeeeeeeeeeeezus #non fic #messages #reference #multi

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