#i dont know but like! what a book! what a goddamn book!

[backlogbooks]

sorry spoilers for the cabin at the end of the world by paul tremblay but

i cant stop thinking about wen, about how not one adult wanted her to get hurt, everyone thought they could protect her, would protect her—but they were always kidding themselves, they were always lying to themselves that they could control the violence. The four that broke in kept emphasizing that they didnt want “unnecessary” violence—they didnt want eric to fall and hit his head, they didnt want andrew to beat up redmond, whenever one of them broke and started threatening eric and andrew, someone else (usually leonard) called them back to the ritual. Adrienne and Leonard dont die the way they’re supposed to, at least judging by the ceremony surrounding redmond’s death—yet they still put the white masks over them in death, as though doing so will recontain the violence, put it back in its ritual safe, wash the blood from their hands even though they know they cant do that but it’s all just to make themselves feel better, because really, they never had control of the violence

and after wen dies, leonard is consumed with guilt, not only because he broke his promise, but because he knows he didnt have the right to make it in the first place

#the cabin at the end of the world #paul tremblay #i feel like it’s a horror rule that you protect the kid but you cant! you have no control of the violence #not that you have control over the consequences of your nonviolent actions but violent actions are especially unpredictable #i dont know but like! what a book! what a goddamn book! #mary emma talks

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

more historical fiction needs to be set in ww1. bonus points if you fag it up

#every time i check historical fiction books its like the year: 1943 and like OK geez #either ww2 era or like the 60s or 20s or some shit #can i PLEASE get a story set in the goddamn trenches of verdun thats mean and nasty about killing characters #sorry theres no easy “bad side” in that war ?? make the bad side the governments cuz thats what it was #my god. can i read about our protag watching some guy die horrifically from a gas attack #and then fuck one of the other soldiers to find any form of intimacy+comfort #read one book set in ww1 but it focused mainly on the russian revolution. still a good one i love u martha hall kelly #but they made this one random dude enlist in the air force and i was SURE he was dead walking corpse u know #but he SURVIVED i was mad. kill this bitch #pilots at a certain point in the war i wanna say 15-16 had such short life expectancies KILL HIM !!!!! #anyway if u have recommendations of queer ass ww1 books i will take them please and thank u #dont even have to be queer just want some all quiet on the western front type shit

[fate-defiant]

i have two, no three fancomics in me rn and it's rotten work it's such rotten work

#ill fucking do it but christ alive #do you know how frustrating it is that nowhere on the internet. NOWHERE ON THE INTERNET CAN I FIND A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO-- #--.......any folk clothing really #like listen. everytime i look up that shit its either #1) photos of folk dancers wearing STAGE COSTUMES. its a start but it aint it #(though i did give in eventually cos eeeehhhhh it fits narratively kinda?? you'll see before i am dead i hope) #2) old and grainy photos where you cant make out the fucking details #and that's not even scratching the surface like #EXPLAIN ALL THE LAYERS TO ME. DON'T JUST LIST WHAT CLOTHIGN ARTICLES ARE WORN TELL ME WHICH IS WHICH. SHJOW ME THE ORDER #HOW IS THAT SHIT TIED WHAT CLASS/MARITAL STATUS/RELIGIOUS GROUP DOES THAT INDICATE WHAT OCCASION #IS THERE LIKE A NONO? IS THERE A NONO FOR CERTAIN PATTERNS AND COLORS? BITCH TELL ME #TELL ME ALL THE DETAILS I NEED THEM I DONT WANNA DIG AROUND THE INTERNET FOR BOOKS #ALSO WHY. WHY ARE THERE FASHION HISTORY BOOKS WITH BARELY ANY PICTURES #YOU ARE DISCUSSING A VISUAL MEDIUM! V I S U A L!!!!!!! #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #also did you know izmir turkey has a long and messy and fascinating history. like 4000 years. Goddamn #fate.txt #off topic

[trees-to-meet-you]

I forgot that the first episode Stinky appeared in was the one introducing the invisible girl. I’m going to skewer him.

#i dont remember him being as bad later but like #what an introduction. bullying an abused girl. what the goddamn fuck stinky. #im going to kill him. #and the next episode too where he fucking makes ninny think he might be kind then TRAPS HER IN ORDER TO MAKE HER INVISIBLE AGAIN #this is his lowest. but god damn is it low. #actually i don’t even know i never actually finished watching the whole series and haven’t read the books or anything #this had fucking better be his lowest #moomins #stinky moomins #how tf do i tag him anyway

[broke-on-books]

I think the universe just hates me personally (can't find my scooby doo comics)

#WHERE ARE THEY #i own like 5 individual issues split between SD WAY and SD & batman adventures and i cant find like 4 of them #this is important bc i just got this new app where you track which comics youve read and i need to be accurate bc yay lists and just aaaggh #also sidenote i think ive found my soulmate this one person leaves a review on each and every WAY comic and they EVEN AGREE WITH ME #literally they said they hated over the boardwalk and i was literally like 'i think im in love' #also i know you guys almost certainly dont know what that is. i have an insanely unporportional hatred of that story especially compared to #its relevancy to scooby comics much less scooby doo as a whole #however i hate it so fucking much its unreal. like pure rage. its worse than scooby apocalypse to me <<<<absolutely nonsensical opinion #anyways feel free to ask me about it (i dare you. i dare you to do it) because i WILL fume with rage and i think that must be heard #but i will not go into a scooby comics rant unprompted. because before i subject you to that i need to know that at least 1 person is #remotely interested lol #also to properly form my rant id have to make myself read over the boardwalk again 🤢🤢🤢 <<<again nonsensical response #and i wont do that for me but id do it for any of you in an instant #ANYWAYS WHERE ARE MY COMICS. LITERALLY ONLY MY SCOOBY ONES (minus one sd & batman issue) ARE MISSING #my far sector tpb? got it! the historical civil war comic i think my grandfather gave me in 5th grade? have that! the scooby doo comics? #gone. vanished from this plane of existence #actually i do know where they are. i have too many books to fit in my bookcase so theres a huge stack that takes up like part of a wall of #books and notebooks and folders and old school binders and other junk #................ #goddamn it im going to go through that aren't i #this is gonna be a total mess dear lord #if i die know that i got crushed by a huge tower of books btw #anyways now time to go thru a bunch of trouble to track down like 3 single issues i KNOW i own #blah

[prozac-shaped-urn]

the amount of hours i have spent watching the same four fucking videos of donna fucking murphy sing the same four goddamn songs should be a concerning element of my mental health* but alas i'm by far the most stable i have ever been in my life and i'm beginning to think this whole hyperfixating thing is actually how my brain works when it's lacking in dopamine and should not be a concern at all

*a sign that i'm escaping reality, as that's been my lifelong pattern which i desperately desire to no longer repeat and have been taking active steps in doing away with altogether

#irl post #also the four times (8hrs total) i've watched passion with and without commentary from the cast/creators/sondheim in the last two days #would make my father DEEPLY concerned about my mental state #and the unholy amount of donna murphy trivia i've collected in the short span of roughly 3 weeks WITHOUT EVEN TRYING should be illegal #istg my brain just slurps up random useless hollywood trivia like it's a goddamn gas station icee #i dont want to know these things. i want to unlearn them. my brain refuses to do that. #i still know useless fleetwood mac trivia i learned in 2006 #the amount of osmond family trivia stored in my long-term memory is legitimately very concerning like wHY do i know these things????? #why do i know all of marie's kids' names?? and that donny has mottephobia?? and that wayne is a pilot?? and that alan wrote children's book #like what the genuine shit

[natugood]

I have incomprehensible thoughts rn about how many classic American folk songs are kinda fucked up (and many are "sanitized" for modern listening to be less fucked up), and it's wild that we just, teach these songs to children without any context or anything? like, clementine is about a miner's daughter DROWNING TO DEATH as he watches helplessly? Old folks at home is a fucking RACIST AF ass song written by a white dude in the perspective of a slave who has been freed who misses his life on a plantation? when John Henry was sang by miners it often had ad-libbed, graphic lyrics about having sex with women at the end of the work day (as a way to motivate themselves and get them through the hell that was mining in the 1800s), and a lot of our modern versions are just super sanitized? like I get its hard to explain a lot of that shit to kids but like, its often never revisited and those songs are just left as sanitized, incoherent childhood introductions to America when they actually all have great amounts of value and history when put into context!!

#I will die on this hill that American folk music is an important part of history and it makes me sad it gets left behind and sanitized #its original meaning should not be incomprehensible and forgotten. even if it is extremely ugly and vile; or even if its really dark and sa #like in order for the country to reconcile with its evil and paiiiinful past we need to ACKNOWLEDGE IT and stop trying to sanitize it #anyways. fun facts clementine was a favorite song of mine as a child and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. and dont get me STARTED #ON OLD FOLKS AT HOME #that song is soooo racist but I learned it in a cello positions book so I didn't know the lyrics or context for YEARS after I learned it #and I always thought it was such a hauntingly beautiful song cause musically IT IS. SO GOOD. #but goddamn when I found out the lyrics and the context I was so fucking mad. thats some awful fucked up bullshit like I cant even begin #and idk it makes me upset to think about the context but also I think it really important we recognize that was really the true atmosphere #at the time and that was our country. Stephen foster is an American folk legend and he wrote that awful racist song. he is great at his art #form but is not separate from his place in time. he was a racist even if he was progressive at that moment in hisotry. #and that is our country. and idk like I think that that adds even more pain to that song and it makes it even more painful to listen to #and thats why we need to not forget it and listen to it to fucking remember and acknowledge how we got here and what we came from #I hate that song and I love that song but I hate it and ughhhhh I wish I hadn't learned it on cello and loved the melody for years #cause its gross af. but also like #its where we came from so I shouldn't hate our history cause thats ignorant and not productive #anwyays #googoogajoob

[dramat-ique]

okay so pet peeve is people getting really uppity about people having a wrong idea of a comic book character because "the comic that idea comes from is bad/wrong/a retcon."

on one hand, yes, that sucks and I hate it too!! I've complained about that very thing.

on the other. that's the fault of the people making the comics, not the people who read them. you get that, right?

no one is actually obligated to do the research and read what you consider to be the correct versions of that character and fix their mindset. if a person reads a shitty version of that character and forms ideas based on that then?? that's a shame but it's not a fucking crime. where do some of you people get off attacking and shaming people for reading canon material and treating it like it's canon? you may not like it. it may ruin that person's experience with that character. that sucks but they didn't actually do anything wrong and they aren't stupid just cause that's the version of that media they happened to engage with.

#calm the fuck down and stop publicly shaming people istg #dont like a persons take on a character? block them and move the fuck on #i dont like a lot of them too #but you know what i do? #blovk and move on #you arent bwtter than them because you read different comics than them #truly get over yourself #they are picture books its not that goddamn deep. #sorry for bwing pissy but if i see another person publicly shaming and preyending thats not what theyre doing #im going to lose my shiy

[kuiinncedes]

:D

#heartstopper spoilers #i like lowkey feel bad abt posting bc i never like warned ppl that i would or what i would be tagging or anyhthing XD #but this is my blog and also it's not even an hs blog lmao TT #but that's ur warning if u dont have it filtered lol and ig im just gonna say tag stuff until theres a read more #so yeah hs s2 spoilers lol :D u have been warned if u havent seen it yet #altho according to my dash that is just filtered tags after filtered tags im the only one who hasnt seen it XD #TAO AND YAN ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PPL TO ME GOODBYE #i love tao. so fucking much. goddamn #why are there so many problems damn i hope paris gives them (and me) a little respite (i say as i know what else is coming in paris :| #also the scenes from the books have been so good :'') fuck that david and nick scene #fuck david but it was done so well #ALSO MXM TOON COMING OF AGE IN THE SOUNDTRACK SOOOOOOOO FUCKINGGGGGG TRUEEEEEEEEEEEE #one of my newest fav songs frfrfr #2 eps in :'') i gotta do a little more work but then i think i'm good to watch the rest lol #jeanne talks #the SELF CONTROLLLL DO NOT START EP 3. I HAVE 2 NEWS ARTICLES I WANT TO GET THRU FOR TODAY DO THOSE FIRST

[raspberryjellybrains]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Dream's main problem is not that he is cruel and cold by nature but that he is sad and stupid and, most crucially, extremely off-putting.

#i dont think i need to explain this one honestly #he doesnt mean harm but he does it because he gets harmed and doesnt know what to do with the hurt because hasnt fuckin figured it out #which its like. my brother in christ. you are the prince of stories. read a goddamn book. you are not the exception. #and yet i think all of this would still not be as monumental a problem with him if he were not so thoroughly strange to be around #hes not mean. hes not really all the creepy for any particular reason. hes just sort of odd so people dont like or trust him. #rolled a 0 on the charisma 😔 #autism boy i love you~~~~~ 😜 #dream of the endless #the sandman #raspberry rambles

[wabblebees]

assigning me homework is cruel and unusual, actually

#my brain is fucked. literally why are u making me do this shit. its fucking ridiculous #complain complain whine complain #whine whine bitch moan complain whine #scream. tear hair out. consider running away to the mountains #realise im already in the mountains and i still have to do this shit #grrrRRAAAGH. #the assignment is to read 30 pages of our textbook and take notes in an Atrocious & Exceedingly Specific Format that my brain DOES NOT LIKE #it does not FUCKING COMPUTE. and its making me so frustrated that i cant even READ anymore #after exactly One Hour of reading my entire brain went NOPE WE'RE DONE HERE and now its been TWO hours #the whole point is so we have a ~reference book~ to look back at in the future when it may be relevant! but what that Actually means is #YOUR HOMEWORK IS TO REWRITE THE TEXTBOOKAND MAKE YOUR OWN ✨️EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS✨️ TO THE TOPICS COVERED #sir. if i told u the ✨️emotional connections✨️ i am making to this textbook #my mother would tackle me to wash my mouth out with soap. ''respectfully.'' #the professor (derogatory)((<-the guy teaching isnt even technically a professor)) didnt even make up this assignment or the curriculum #he just got the job bc all of the other ACTUAL department faculty refused. bc this sucks ass. #he talks FOREVER abt some tangent & THEN is like 'hm. so we dont have time for the things i planned to do in class today. what do we do.' #WHY SHOULD WE KNOW. THATS YOUR JOB #and i like him (sort of.)((i at least want to be decent to him yanno?)) but this is fucking insane. i hate it here #id be so on board to read this textbook and learn this shit if i didnt have to take those GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING NASTY-ASS NOTES. FUCK. #this shit is legitimately so interesting to me!! but knowing i have to do ALL THAT?? #makes my brain book it out the back of my skull like a fucking looney-toons skit. makes it go kablooey. leaves no trace but a dust cloud #thinking abt this assignment has been making my attention span so skittery that i havent been able to work on my OTHER homework Either #ugh. whatever #ill get over it & finish eventually. i just. the textbook is ALREADY oversimplifying so much #so im sitting here highlighting nearly fucking EVERYTHING. and then cant figure out what to actually take down as nOtEs #30 pages. of which im supposed to distill ''the 4-5 most important pieces of information from each page'' #meaning my shit in ~column a~ should have. AT L E A S T. 120 FUCKING BULLET POINTS??? #and THEN. im supposed to put an equivalent amount of ✨️personal connections✨️ in ~column FUCKING b~ #fuck me ig. fuck. #bee speaks

[sasha-whos-askin-racket]

Apparently, my poor little meow meow of the moment is centuries dead Catholic plotter Thomas Percy.

Thanks, Oliver Savile.

#treason the musical #i dont know how to tell y'all that i cried over a very dead catholic earlier because of this musical #this is the SECOND character played by oliver i have cried over #except i think whizzer is a bit more acceptable #anyway i was thinking about Blind Faith and The Inevitable and Martha being correct in thinking Thomas would Catesby to his death #*would follow Catesby #and then Catesby and Thomas dying together #like some historians say they were killed by the SAME MUSKETBALL #and y'know #the whole 'blind faith' thing #also that bit in All We Dreamed And More? #'you can do this thomas' #like goddamn make me sob over him why dont you #he was so eager to please catesby because he had so much respect for him and it upsets me #also i was listening to White Winter Hymnal and by GOD thats a Thomas Percy song #ANYWAY if thomas and catesby aren't even a tiny bit homosexual with each other then whats the point in this musical #like martha is singing about how much she loves her husband #and said husband spends his verses of that song going man i love catesby he's my hero #im being totally normal about this musical (lie) #i walked two miles yesterday and bought a book on the gunpowder plot #if anybody important or relevant sees my gross misinterpretation of this musical no you don't its fine #ANYWAY UH I LOVE THOMAS PERCY #THANKS OLIVER #queue's asking?

[noxtivagus]

i love talking w others ( apollo especially tonight ) but oh man i shld really sleep it is 3 am

#laughing together n messing around while listening to music #while also having deep talks on life ! #i love love listening to others n sharing in dialogue our individuality. n connecting together as well #i find analyzing life n society n ourselves to really be interesting #i really am someone that thinks n feels a lot n deeply n i genuinely really love that for myself #help we talked about sm as usual. but yk i really love thoughtful people like us #goddamn i really love individuality. we're all so unique n we're all human #i love analyzing both the good n bad n trying to read others n also yk with what i know and with what i can infer in a way #i want to read actual books made my professionals to learn abt it all properly tho #to see if i really am correct about all this. i have a feeling i am. my intuition is usually uncannily spot on #i love talking w apollo but i really wonder n hope that someday i can connect w others this way as well #in different ways as well. maybe with a childhood friend now very different from me #or a lover. oh man one day i'd really really love to experience that #n with my parents. i want to understand them better as their own people #but. yk there are boundaries in life n i can't learn everything #i find it all really interesting though. i want to learn n understand so much #hmm one thing in particular rn that im thinking of is the dimensions of love. n how memory works #memory n identity. n how we grow as people. #and love as. its different forms. the way we express it. the different ways we love different things n how we differ in that way #and. help idk if i'm even using the right terms bcs my vocab is wide but sometimes i dont match definitions accurately #i understand familial love as a daughter. platonic as a friend. n self love n love for the world #but romantic love. i write about it but goddamn it intrigues me so much i really want to experience it for myself #there's no end to the things i want to learn. romance is no exception. i wonder #i find perceptions so interesting n the way our worlds n the way we all live could connect with similarities n differences #the way life works as a human person in it and. stuff like physics n biology n science #wah i'm so curious abt so many things. i want to understand the universe. n the ppl in it #i really crave that realness n authenticity. if i wasnt so shy i wld just randomly ask my friends questions from time to time #i could randomly ask a creative question n analyze both your answer n the way you expressed and shared it #i really want to share the more intricate aspects of life n our humanity as well. i want to be mutually in love with another. #n to have deep friendships where we mutually understand each other too. n family. n. everything oh god there's sn to think n feel n write

[lordsardine]

.

#i will shut up after this #but . maybe im too in over my head with what i want for my next novel but hoping the random college professor i emailed responds to me ^^; #miscellaneous #spent like 15 minutes just trying to word it right #anyways hashtag. when you want to write a book that uses asl as one of the main aspects of communication in the novel #but you dont know asl nor have you ever spoken with a deaf person #and then there's the added nuance that the deaf character i have is black. and black asl is different #so i just hope this college professor can answer some of my questions ... #also i know i need to take an asl course too #and then there's How to represent the asl in fiction which people differ on #so here i am a bit over my head and i havent even written a goddamn outline for the novel yet #so it's like... do i not make the one character black? but then would the main character still be white? i want the story to be diverse but #also need to grapple with trying not to tell the story of marginalized voices #but then there's the fact this is just a light fantasy middle grade novel so like at the end of the day............. #gah enough contemplating this story for a bit. though i will get to writing an outline at least in the next week or so

[dangaer]

if you don’t think shin cares about toma you’ve played a completely different game to me.

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc. #or you only take shins words to be directed @ the heroine and not toma which is also. incorrect. #going back to my earlier post he refuses to reveal straight up what he believes tom.a has done. despite whatever happens ( i.e: the heroine #chooses to hang out with toma all the time. everyone calls him out and gets him in trouble with the police instead ) #but like. as an introverted person ... the fact that shin goes to tomas house constantly to just read a book or play cards with him bc he #doesnt like being lonely sometimes rlly signifies to me just how much he does care for toma. #he comes up with a whole story that allows toma to come back in heart world ( which thankfully he does in crowd. but not without shin crying #with heroine bc he misses him ) #shin also apologises and feels so much guilt in that world bc #of how much he knows tomas sacrificed for him. #he ALSO tries his best in diamond world. #especially in crowd and later #he physically has a go at toma for keeping everything inside when him and mc are there for him #gets HIGHLY upset when mc and toma dont tell him about their harrassment even though hes there ... to help :') #actually comes rushing into their house when he cant get in contact with either of them to come and see them hugging in the cage(tm) and ask #what the HELL he's gotten himself into YUFDGVFDYGVYU #still joins them for dinner and stuff and also allows heroine to use him as some kinda bait bc they both know toma will take her on a movie #date just to spare him from going to see a scary movie #i cannot WAIT to play through shin telling toma they need him ur not gonna hear me shut up about it for an entire goddamn YEAR #otoma.te also released a bonus au where shin and toma run a youtube channel #and have shin be the first person who looks at the fated cage(tm) #and go: this is for animals right? #and before toma can argue physically buys animals to the point he finds a much better use for it and you know what #proud of him ... a real king #shin is constantly comparing himself to toma but finding out toma has insecurities over him upsets him ... he never wanted that #im REALLY emotional over my ships today ive been looking through all my pin boards for them and (sobbing sounds) i ... rlly love my shipping #partners so much . im so LUCKY to have you guys and like tbh ... im happy i chose the whole one version per muse im so happy to give so much #love to my partners like that .... actually soppy on a sat night i cant take it </3 #gonna update my icon to a new shin in a day or so bc ... predictability #long post /

[renaultmograine]

If you can't tell by the fact that I'm still thinking on Riyria, The Blade Itself left me rather uninspired all things considered.

Not even done with the damn thing yet but I already know that where all the plot is and I'm not happy I sat through 20.5 hours to get there.

#i don't like any of the characters other than logen and west #and i dont really have a reason to actually be invested in any of them. #disappointing from a goddamn 4.8 star book! #not to mention that abercrombie seems allergic to worldbuilding. i hardly know what the fuck is going on. #shame too. he's a good writer. love his characters interacting. just wish they did something. #paska