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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

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cerealmonster15 · 5 years

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(anon from the other day sorry i was gone lol) buddy me too i am on anon for a reason but it's so nice to infodump i totally feel u!! i cant speak for all ur followers but in my adhd having opinion i loooove seeing people gush abt their hyperfixations/special interests/stuff they love!! :D [owain voice] it gives my heart wings!! (1)

[im just gonna screenshot the other parts and paste them as i answer them to keep it all together c:!]

BWAHH THANKSSS if u ever wanna come off anon im 1000% down for jammin about fe forever lsjkfjsd naga knows i can t a l k. OWAIN WOULD SUPPORT US ;A; i too like seein people get super HYPED it’s so sweet and fun when people are havin a good time ! i still worry that i overdo it kjdsfbkj but i am glad it’s not a bother for u :D [the rest are gonna be in a readmore]

DKLSJFD YEAH HONESTLY ,, when i started conquest at the decision chapter i fuckin LOST the first time and was like ,, well,,,,,,, hmmmmm...... this is going to be Difficult LOL cryin... IM SO SAD BC THE NEXT CHAPTER I HAVE IS CALLED POSSESSED AND LIKE,,, I PLAY FEH,, I HAVE POSSESSED TAKUMI,,, I PLAYED BIRTHRIGHT I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I DONT LIKE IT !!!!!!!!! i misss himmmmmmme the entire time i played birthright: i miss leoooooooo i miss elise im so sadddddme the entire time ive been playing conquest: i miss takumiiiiiiii ryoma is disappointed in me and im so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd and also the spoilers ive heard for what’s about to happen make me 80 times as sad i dont wannaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

god the end of chapter sakura w/everyone being so upset and hans + iago ruining everything LIKE ALWAYS was just. so awful. the hoshidans are so heartbroken and depressed and im SO UPSET IM SO SORRY SAKURA + CO I LOVE YOU EVEN THO YOU HATE ME RN ;0;

JDKSLKFHDS HONESTLY WHEN I MARRIED SILAS I WAS LIKE,,, SHIT,,, I HAVE A TYPE AND IT’S GOOFY + LOYAL RIDE OR DIE BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS WHO ALSO HAVE SORTA BLUE HAIR I GUESS FKDSLJFKLSDJ and effie is so pretty i cry,, and her lines crack me up sfkjldsjkfjkds i love when shes guarding the prison and she says something like “this prison doesnt seem very secure. why dont the prisoners just bend the bars and leave?” and im like EFFIE.............................. MY LOVE...... WH................... DSLKJFL

omg ok with dating sim type games i typically make them like,,, meish, but with fun colored hair LOL so my first one in birthright has my name and similarish hair to me except it’s pink LOL , but then when i play as boys i tend to play more of a character ? tho this one is sorta just boy me with wild purple hair lksfjds, his name is Tino bc it’s partially a section of my not first name and also “cupertino” was a family name in my fam that i always thought sounded kinda cool *w* tino loves his strong wife and is bffs with keaton (THEY WERE KICKING ASS TOGETHER AS DRAGON AND WOLFSKIN SO IM LIKE,,,,, UR BESTIES NOW IT’S CANON) . and i like to imagine leo and corrin are really close bc theyre close in age so i made sure to make them really close :3 AND ALSO ODIN AND ELISE BC FAVES LOL.....

rev is probs gonna be me again bc like. im marrying odin. im in love w/him i gotta do what i gotta do fdskjlfjsjlk [THO IM FOREVER SALTY ABOUT HOW THOSE SUPPORTS GO HHHHGHHGHFD CORRIN DONT BE A COWARD AND BE NICER TO ODIN DAMMIT]

What’re ur corrins like,,, eyes emoji,,

WHAHH NO UR GOOD !! listen any lore is good lore for me , I REALLY WANNA HEAR ABOUT BRADYS CLINIC, i remember u talkin about him and owain in that one and also brady in feh mentions it and it MADE ME SO SAD MY SWEET BOY I LOVE YOU BRADYYYYYYYYYY

i need to replay awakening so i can actually get kjelle this time ;w; I RAN OUT OF MEN IM SORRY SWEETIE SKLJFSD

me cryin at intsys why wont u let chrom hold mrobins HAND they r in love,,,,, god if they made an awakening remake id cry and marry chrom 50 more times fjkslfdjdsls

PLEASE YOU GOTTA THEYRE SO FUNNY I CRY SKLLFJSKLFDS

IM GONNA POST SOME OF MY FAVE 4KOMAS HFSDKJFSJK LOOK

I THINK ABOUT THOSE TWO ALL THE TI M E JFKDSFLJS

also odin and niles are banned from the kitchen forever and i. i die:

cooking with niles uhh corrin voice: i would prefer not to fsdklfjslkdfjksdl

i saw a fancomic just like this one and i just think about both every time i put kaze or the other ninjas in the arena fkjlsdfjdsklj POOF , alas,

im in love with these two oh my god. this + skimming through felicia’s and ryoma’s supports similar to these comics made me dead set on s supporting them together when i play revelations because oh my god this is the cutest thing ive ever seen in my entire LIFE . ryoma!!!!!!!!! you blushy dork !!!!!!!

RYOMA RIPPING OFF HIS SHIRT AND TAKUMI BEING LIKE BROTHER NO WHAT THE FUCK FSJDKLFJSKL IT’S SO FUNNY , and these two have a fun rivalry about corrin fjskdflskl ive skimmed their supports and it’s Amusing

but like, best one is still

THESE STUPID LOSER BROTHERS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FJSDKLFHGHH i cant fuckin wait to play rev and to force everyone to be best friends . also the first 60000 times i read this one i didnt even notice the arrow so i thought leo just saw a far away enemy headed for them and just punched him about it fkjsdlfjds

god theyre just

so funny

#Anonymous #asks

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patheticfrogarchive · 7 years

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also i find it Interesting that my mom can sit in some family therapists office and cry and say how shes worried abt me and wants to have a meaningful connection w her daughter and “why dont u talk to me about whats going on i can see ur hurting” and all that bullshit but literally ANY goddamn time i bring up something thats bothering me, something that someone said/did that upset me, something that im worried abuot, etc. etc., she just immediately goes straight to blaming me, making me feel like a stupid piece of shit, and doesnt offer any kind of support. like you can say you care about me all you want, but what the fuck am i supposed to think when you threaten to pull me out of school, the one place where i feel i can be 100% myself and happier with my life, when you tell me to “just get over” the fucking months emotional abuse i went through bc of my roommate, when you twist everything to make it sound like she treated me that way because of something I did and that i deserved it or im just overreacting, when you tell me to just move on from the goddamn suicide of one of my goddamn best friends who meant the whole fucking world to me and expects me to be just fucking fine because its been 9 or whatever months even though i keep begging to go see a therapist to talk about it, to work through it, i still have fucking panic attacks about what happened, i still have fucking panic attacks when my shitty brain reminds me of the fact that i fuckign saw his goddamn dead body lying on the goddamn sidewalk, and i guess thats supposed to be something i can just “move on” from, when you tell me that i verbally abuse you, when you tell me that i ruined my brothers childhood and im the reason hes an absolute asshole and in therapy now, when you insult my hair, my clothes, my whole fucking face even after i beg you to stop pointing out flaws, i know they’re there, i know my hair needs to be fixed, i know i have that spot on my face, stop pointing it out please, when you tell me that my best isn’t enough, when you tell me that im just going to go back to school and annoy the few friends i have left away from me because i have a hard time waking up in the morning even though im trying to get better about waking up, when you tell me that i’ll end up killing my cats because i dont really care about them, when you tell me that i wouldn’t have given a shit if my dad’s cancer hadn’t been caught soon enough and it killed him, when you go on and on about how my social anxiety is apparently ruining my whole life but refuse to give me credit for ANYTHING i do that’s a step in the right direction, I’m part of a fucking committee at my goddamn college thats made up of literally all of the most important faculty/administrators at the whole school, the deans, the vice president, a whole bunch of other fucking important people, i sat in on a 3+ hour conference meeting and SPOKE, in front of a whole table of super important people, and the entire room listened to what i said, they took it seriously, I organized and ran a fucking campus-wide event, i would have NOT been able to do that a year ago, hell, half a year ago, but apparently that doesnt count or matter, what i see as a huge fucking improvement and achievement doesnt matter, i say i don’t want to order a fucking pizza over the phone and apparently im non-functioning.

like part of me feels bad you know, idk what to do when people cry and i just naturally feel bad, like “oh damn maybe she DOES care”, but the second we get home its back to fucking screaming at me and blaming me for everything and criticizing my every single breath and i can’t fucking do it

fuck whatever this therapist lady says, just cause you’re family doesn’t mean you’re fucking obligated to be all lovey and emotional and all that shit. i dont give a quarter of a fuck if i “look just like my mom” or any of that shit, just cause she shoved me into fucking existence doesnt mean i have to sit here and tolerate any of her goddamn gaslighting manipulative awful bullshit. she can cry about how much she cares all she wants, until she starts fucking acting like it, and actually shows she gives even 1/8th of a shit, i dont fucking care

#personal #im......really angry lol i didnt mean to rant for so long #if anyone bothered to read this whole thing (idk why u would tho)..... thanks i guess?#sorry for being depressing?#anyway hope u all have a good day

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lawlliets · 7 years

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personal post / dont feel the need to read or reply im just venting abt myself and my life and my head and its super super SUPER SUPER long and i have nowhere else to vent besides this website and if youre wondering its just me venting about my anxiety and my life and myself, nothing else

#long post #deleting later

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0n3-h4lv3 · 6 years

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10:17pm 9/7/18

FUCK yall. Heres some things that *i* have 2 say. @ morgan : i love u so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U literally deserve every good thing in this entire world. You are so loving and bubbly and positive that it is Infuriating to me that you have to face any hardship whatsoever. You dont deserve that, but you are strong enough to push through it and to make the most of any bad situation, and im SO excited for your future and the amazing things you will accomolish. Youve been my best bud for like ??????? 12 years almost ??????? How badass is that !!!!!!! U are the one bitch on this planet that i truly can tell everything. Nothing on this blog would suprise ir shock u, like a bitch knows whats up bc. God i rlly truly can 100 percent relax in ur company. SOMETIMES i still worry abt dumb shit but then i tell u anyway and it works out ok. Im mad greatful for that. Even with my other besties, i think id go mad without u and our friendship. I dont always send u the most responsive texts, but i DO think abt u every day and i LOVE u 2 bits and bits and bits. I wanna have sleepovers again. And tell bad stories abt marvel and folklore characters in the dark until we pass out laughing at eachother. I miss being kids. I dont think there was a point in my life so far where i have Truly been blissful or care free, i wasnt built that way, but memmories of u and me playing and creating and laughing together are truly the happiest i have. If not for you I would have killed myself three years ago in my bedroom after school, that day that i couldnt stop crying ? I went home and i tore at my shirt and i screamed and sobbed and slammed my head into the floor, lamenting how unlovable i was, but i really did have something that kept me from giving up, and it was you! I know thats heavy, which is why im putting it here and not actually telling you, but even though liv was my big fp at the time, you were rlly my reason to live. I just pray that i can do something meaningful for you, to repay you for being there for me before i die.

Finny! : BUD!!!! Ur actually. An angel but irl. Like sometimes i see you and stop breathing for a second. And im not even talking abt that ur like hot or whatever, its like. Gosh, finn you just have this presence ? And you are simultaniously so forgiving and understanding while taking Absolutely no shit and i respect that hard. Its like rlly hard to be uncomfortable in your presence. I still manage to sometimes, because god made me and was like "yeah this bitch will never see rest of any form", but like compared to the discomfort i feel around Most people, the discomfort i sometimes feel around you is WAY less and very warm asfjgja. I wish i got more hugs from you, i know thats like Mad stupid, but theyre. Validating and wonderful and they mean a lot and feel rlly good so more of those would be cool. I miss laying w u on the couch and watchin horror movies !! I know that was just like a month ago and its not like we cant do it again, but with how busy we are and how busy Everything is im very scared that we actually wont get to, or that u dont want to. Anyway im rambling, but u DO mean the world to me, and im so so sorry if im too much or overbearing. I dont know if you know how much you mean to me ? If youre on this blog you have an idea but i dont think these posts actually paint it accurately. For the past 10 or so years ive had a pattern of latching on to people, one at a time, and putting "all my eggs in one basket" so to say. It can be a best friend, or romantic interest, or both. But regardless ! This person directly and immediately impacts my emotional state. And rn its you !!! Which sucks a LOT. Bc even outside of my shitty "favorite person" thing, you are very important to me, and your friendship is so important to me. But i havent figured out how to negate or counter the whole fp experience, and so whenever u do anything... that i could interpret as disinterest or disgust or like anything negative, it has a 50/50 chance if sending me into a panic, sometimes a full fledged anxiety attack ! And whenever you show interest or affection or anything positive, it beyond makes my day. And thats. Like weird ? And it sucks even more for you, because if you realized how strongly just the tiniest thing can fuck me up, you wouldnt even want to talk 2 me. You would distance yourself to save urself from the stress and me from the whatever this is. But i know that my brain would just pick someone else as soon as you abandon me, so i have to just keep in my head and to myself until the fp thing moves on, or u abandon me anyway, or whatever. Bc i dont want to lose our friendship. And its ok !! But it makes our friendship more complicated on my end. I unintentionally put so much stock into how u percieve me, and so you not wanting to date me for suoer valid reasons still tears at my heart a lot. Like somethings wrong with me or you dont rlly love me or whatever even tho thats not necissarily the case. Anyway. Ill be ok. I rlly will, this is something i just need to man up about and push through ! Thank u for being such a cool friend :).

MADI !!!: UGH bitch. I do love u. Im sorry im late every time u pick me up in the morning and that i complain so goddamn much. I know its unbecoming but in my defense im feeling pretty rock bottom these days and u r like a cute little ray of sunshine that drinjs too much coffee. You are so. Beautiful okay ? That sounds like bullshit cuz im ur best friend and all. But this is honesty hour. See what i wrote to finn and mj ?? Im not fucking around. Im laying it all bare. This is the post yall will find AFTER i kill myself, so im not gonna LIE to u in it. Could u imagine ??? Anyway point is: you are so beautiful, and you are complex and interesting and Capable okay ? Like ur not a background character or basic or none of that. U feel like u are, and u say ur not pretty or whatever, and its like. The dumbest shit bc if u could only see what Every One Else was getting to look at ? U wouldnt recognize urself. Also. U have an INSANELY kind heart. I cant believe u were ok with me fucking your boyfriend. I cant believe you put up with my drama. You buy me coffee ? You go out 2 lunch with me ?? You seem to take genuine interest in me, and like my company !! Its bananas girl. I dont know how i can be so vile and low and selfish and you still stay by me. I dont believe i deserve it, but ur kinda adimant abt remaining my best friend, so hopefully ill have time to become a better person for you, and 2 return the favor. I love u mads. Like, big time. Ur a rock and roll girl and id do anythin 4 ya <3

Myla !! : buddy. Oh my god. A lot of people r likr "ohh im chaotic good" or "wow shes got such chaotic energy" and its MAD bullshit. But real talk ??? U like... do have such powerful chaotic good energy. Ilysm. Ur smile is Contagious. Actually just seeing u at school makes me smile. Ur company and friendship is such a blessing. ALSO lmao ur so ??? Like coy ?? And cheeky ???? Its mad fun, ur just like a very silly very lovely bud. I know you are Also very depressed and hurting. And i hate that so much. You dont deserve it. Nothing about you has earned it, but like depression doesnt care who earns what ya know ? Anyway ur strong. Likr 4 real, and i want u to know that you can SO overcome it, and u have such a bright future okay ?? I love you ! I KNOW finny loves you! I dont know ur parents that well but they'd be BATSHIT to not totally love you. Having you in my life is like a blessing, and i rlly rlly rlly hope i can repay the good energy some day okay ? I know u dont like talking abt how ur feeling, but if u ever want to, or u think of ANYTHING i can do to help, tell me asap okay ? Bc i will not hesitate to be there 4 u, no matter how big or small.

OKAY @ all of you !!! :

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY !!! IM *SO* GREATFUL YOU ARE ALL IN MY LIFE !!! Literally i cant. Express how important you all are. Im crying and i would Literally die for any one of you. That sounds like a silly thing but it would be. An honor to actually lay down my life for the sake of any of u guys, tho im not sure how the situation would arise lol. I feel like i owe y'all so much. I also know that if i am going to get better, i cant do it alone, and i might end up asking more from u guys :(. I hate that, but im hoping you can understand and allow me to return the favor somehow someday.

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