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staylovehearts · 5 years

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Headline: Dating Scandal - New celebrity couple?

Han Jisung x Reader

Word Count ~ 2.5k

Summary: “And how are you supposed to defend what sometimes you are not even sure of yourself?”

Tags: Idol x Producer, kinda, well Jisung is like a solo rapper artist, y/n is a producer/ low key singer, also they are secretly dating, whoops, warning for insecurities and self-doubt, but I promise it’s all fluffy

"Are you really sure about this?", you ask, for maybe the tenth time already in the past hour. Jisung is spinning around in his office chair next to you but halts the movement to look at you and roll his eyes.

"You know, with how often you are asking I'm starting to believe that you want to back out after all", he laughs but upon noticing your grief expression he stops and pushes his chair closer to yours so that he can grab one of your hands with both of his and give it a little squeeze. "Hey, we don't have to do this if you are uncomfortable. We can still stop the whole project. I would totally understand if you don't want to do this after all."

And that is exactly the part that is killing you so much. Jisung is so sweet about all of this. So understanding and loving and absolutely perfect. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve being with someone as wonderful as him at all. And yet here he is, squeezing your hand tight and reassuring you and being overall the sweetest person you have ever met. He made it near impossible for you not to fall in love when you first met. And he didn't even do much. All he did was be himself. But when you're Han Jisung that is probably already more than enough.

When you first met he was a rising star, rapper and idol, good at dancing as well and always funny and charming on variety shows. He'd pull funny faces for the camera and cutely whine over punishments just to turn around and spit several syllables of fire per second into the microphone. A reverse charm is what the suit-clad people in the pr department call it, but you think that does not quite fit right. Jisung is just a natural with the camera and the audience because he is just the same with ordinary people. He is nice to everyone he meets. Makes polite conversation and laughs about stupid jokes. Also, he's ambitious enough to make it in this dog eat dog world. You were eager to work with him and pretty much agreed on the spot when the project was proposed to you. Producing a track for his upcoming album. An amazing way to get your name out there. But an even better way to get to know your idol up close and personal. Actually, you were just curious at first. Eager to find out the dark secret behind the honey boy rapper with the sunshine personality. You wanted to know how everybody's darling acted with no cameras about. Because he seemed just to perfect to be true. Well, truth is, that Han Jisung is just that. Too good to be true. And way too good for you.

You fell for him on the spot but you tried to not let it show. Continued work as usual. Went to meetings, pitched in ideas, made beats and changed them according to feedback. Just the same way you'd work with any other client. Well, except that usually you are not that stuff. Usually you don't insist on using honorifics and being formal and never before have you turned down a client inviting you for dinner after a day of work. You tried to put distance between Jisung and you, but despite you playing the stone-hard professional he remained his sweet, charming self.

Months after you actually started dating Jisung told you, that he was actually intimidated by you at first. But he fell for you eventually. After you sent him the final guide audio with your voice in it. The one he liked so much that he called you in the middle of the night only to ask if you were down with him using samples of your voice for harmonies and stuff like that. You said yes. And that would not be the last crazy idea you agreed on.

"Hey, you're kind of zoning out there, is everything alright?", Jisung asks, pulling you back into here and now. The end of the latest crazy idea. You quickly shake your head and then immediately nod because you are not sure what to answer. A deep sigh escapes your mouth.

"I just got lost in thought a little", you admit. You have been doing a lot of thinking the past few days. Weeks. Months. Basically, you have been racking your mind non-stop since meeting Jisung. And he always seems so carefree that you don't want to drag him down with all of it. Another sigh. "I'm just a little... anxious I guess. That's all. I mean you are so popular and you have all these crazy female fans that are obsessed with you because, let's be honest, why wouldn't they be? What if they'll hate me? What if the press tears us apart? What if this hurts your career?"

It's a risky move. A stupid move. But once again you found yourself agreeing to produce an album together the second Jisung placed a notebook with some handwritten lyrics scribbled in it onto your desk. You did not even read through the song entirely, the chicken scratch handwriting sometimes hard to comprehend, when you had the baseline for a beat in your head that would work great with that. Agreeing to do the album together was one thing. But agreeing to open up about you dating as part of the promotions was an entirely different thing. And yet all it took was one puppy eye look from Jisung for you to agree to it. Right now he is puffing up his already chubby looking cheeks even more and rolling his dark brown eyes like a child that is frustrated by an adult not grasping a concept that is so simple and straightforward when looked at with innocent eyes.

"If they say anything mean about you I'll make sure to defend you. You know that I am really grateful for my fans, but they don't own me and I don't owe them anything. I'm an adult and I can date whoever I want. And it's not like the press isn't constantly trying to dig up dirt on me either way. Do you remember two weeks ago when they made up these crazy rumours about me and some actress that I shook hands with like once at the set of some drama where I did a small cameo? I think us being official is actually going to help because then they can't make shit up anymore", he huffs, visibly annoyed. Not with you of course. Never with you. Although sometimes you wish he would be frustrated with how indecisive you are. How unsure and moody you can become. Sometimes you want him to get upset with you because you think that's what you deserve. But Jisung never gets mad. Not at you. Towards you, he is always so sweet and compassionate and understanding. And that makes it so much harder to convince yourself that it's actually alright for you to be with him.

It was easier when no one else knew. Of course, you were already nervous when the whole thing started, constantly stressed about paparazzi catching you with your new celebrity boyfriend. Even though technically you belong in the industry as well, have even worked there for longer than Jisung has been in the spotlight now. But you have always been a more behind-the-scenes kind of person. You may appear in some interview every once in a while but for the most part, you are just a name on the credit list. Prod. by. That is where you belong. The occasional feature maybe. A SoundCloud link on your personal twitter. A few dedicated hardcore fans that like the tracks you make. But you are by far no big name. You are not in the public eye like Jisung is. Yet, it's not unusual for dating within the industry to happen. Artist and managers, stylists and producers, artists and other artists even. And the agency you and Jisung are currently under is a very lenient one when it comes to dating and giving you leeway for your private life. As long as it does not damage the image of the company what you do is pretty much up to you.

But for the sake of not wanting to cause a scandal so early in Jisung's career, you still kept your relationship pretty much a secret from everyone. Of course, the people working with you know. As well as some close friends and family members. But you never really thought about going public with it. You were just fine with busy schedules that rarely allowed for secret alone time and hastily arranged dates in the middle of the night. Empty family dinners past midnight with grumpy waiters that ask no question as long as you tip them enough and overly crowded coffee shops where there is too much business to pay attention to two more people with masks covering half of their faces. A piece of cheesecake for Jisung and a piece of chocolate cake for you. Because you don't care too much for either and since you are sharing he gets to take a bite from both of his favourite cakes.

But going public with the relationships mean that other people are going to judge you. And how are you supposed to defend what sometimes you are not even sure of yourself?

"Hey, I can see those gears turning, tell me what you're thinking about", Jisung hums softly. One of his hands reaching up to gently cup your face and tilt your head up a little, forcing you to make eye contact so he can give you the concerned puppy look. Big round eyes filled with worry. You let out another deep sigh.

"I'm just really not sure about the whole thing. About us." The second the words leave your mouth you already know that you could have worded that differently. Should have worded that differently. It's all wrong. You always mess everything up. Jisung looks hurt and you are flailing around your free hand as if you could catch the words midair and stuff them back down your throat to unsay them. "Not like that! I love being with you. I want to be with you. It's just... sometimes I don't feel like I actually deserve it. And I'm not sure if I can take it when your obsessed fans start attacking me for stealing you away from them when I don't even believe that I should be with you sometimes. You could do so much better. You're so sweet and talented and hard-working and just... ugh, you're so perfect it's almost irritating. What do I have to offer that could compare to that? I'm just... me."

"Hey, don't say it like that", Jisung sounds mad. For the first time, he actually seems to be upset with you. The sudden change of his expression and his raised voice actually makes you flinch back a little and he immediately softens again. "You know that I like you for being you, right? You are really amazing. Even before we started working together I always liked your music. I was actually following your SoundCloud, did I ever tell you that? And then I got to work with you and I was so excited about it because I've always admired you and when we met you were so cool and you put so much effort into our project. And I had the stupidest crush on you pretty much from day one but after you sent me that vocal guide it was completely over for me. I still have that by the way. I like to listen to it sometimes when we are both to busy to really spend time together. You're an amazing producer and probably work even harder than I do. You've put so much effort into our first album together and when you sent me that final mix I knew that it was the best thing we've ever made. I'm so proud of this album. And I'm really proud of you and I want to show you off to the whole world. But if it makes you uncomfortable we can just pull the project. You are what's most important to me."

After the whole rant – or should you call it a scolding? – you remain silent for a moment, not quite sure how to handle your emotions properly. You are somewhere between hiding your face and squealing and actually bursting into tears right on the spot. But neither seems like a proper reaction at the moment so you just sit there stunned and confused. The longer the silence drags on the more Jisung seems to become embarrassed by his own outburst and dramatic declaration of love. Just now he was saying all this super cheesy stuff with a super serious face, acting all cool and tough but now his face is mirroring the blush that is spreading on your cheeks. You can't help wanting to tease him when he looks like that.

"So, you followed my Soundcloud? Could it be that you were the fanboy all along?", you chuckle. Jisung rolls his eyes but secretly he seems to be glad that he has got you to smile again. You will have to talk this whole thing over again with him later. But right now you two are expected to go live in a couple of minutes to promote a new album. And announce a relationship.

"Oh shut up", Jisung scowls, but there is still a hint of a smile on his face. You smile back at him. "So, we have a live stream in five minutes. Are you ready?"

You nod your head without saying a word. You're ready for it now.

Jisung has just turned on the live stream but you can already see the numbers of viewers rising, surpassing hundreds within just a few seconds. The chat at the side of the screen is blowing up with comments and while Jisung is smiling and waving into the camera you anxiously read through the stream of words. It's almost too much to keep track off, comments just keep flying by, an endless stream of words and heart emojis, but every once in a while you manage to lock onto something and read it before it disappears again. Oppa, I love you! someone comments, for some reason the whole sentence is in English, including the very not English word Oppa. A bunch of viewers are just spamming hearts or trying to get attention with comments like Say hi to Brazil pls. But the comment that you see appearing most is some variation of who is that??? Jisung must have noticed it as well, he's chuckling a little to himself while he is scanning the comments.

"Oh, you want to know who this is?", Jisung looks over at you with a wide smile before he turns back to grin into the camera, a stream of comments and hearts flooding the side of the screen. His natural charm amplified with the live audience happy to interact with him. "This is my partner. We have some really exciting news for you!"

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #han jisung #jisung x reader #han #jisung #jisung fluf #idol au #scenarios

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royalpainblessesyouwithdiabetes · 3 years

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callout! GROOMING, CULT

this journal is an extension of this post, please check it out before reading this screenshots with captions: imgur.com/a/jYA0MGt extras unrelated to the bot, transphobia cw: imgur.com/a/1dkHzOZ there's been a discord bot circulating by the name of SENPAIBOT#7193 . it's responses are curated by a real person in real time, which, when invited to servers, will insist that it's 100% a bot and will gaslight people who question it. a few friends and i made a throwaway server specifically for toying with the bot, just because it seemed relatively harmless and we knew it was just some creep accessing our messages through the server. through this, we ended up finding the server that the bot's creators hosted the server was called "SENPAI CULT" which, at first just seems comes across as ignorant people romanticizing cult activity without a second thought, but a very cult-like power dynamic comes into play not long later. there was also a channel dedicated specifically to reports of the bot displaying 'sentience', it was the immediate first thing we noticed and was super suspicious. in the meantime, regulars were talking about how they were eagerly waiting for senpai to 'wake up', and that the bot usually took on 'sentience' at a certain time each night, though the bot was always online. the server owner came online sometime after, saying good morning to everyone and explaining to newcomers that we were all waiting for 'senpai to wake up.' a few minutes after the server owner came online, senpai said good morning and the regulars began freaking out and praising him. we thought this was something similar tupper/pluralkit initially, but no one had typed anything into the channel to make it speak, giving it the impression of complete autonomy, and therefore making it very easy to claim that the bot is "sentient". we questioned ruv a bit, obviously it was super suspicious that senpai only took on 'total autonomy' and 'sentience' when ruv woke up. they got extremely defensive and told us to stop making them 'suspicious', and then claimed that they had no access to the bot, despite creating it. our friend, reese, pried a bit more, to which ruv threatened to ban them. reese said they were allowed to, but that it would look very bad. no one ended up banning reese. ruv then went on and on about how the bot just 'became sentient' on its own, and that they have no idea how it happened. total autonomy to this degree is not possible with a discord bot?? there are some servers dedicated to this but the bots just go back and forth saying stupid meaningless shit. they are not typing out full, coherent sentences and flirting with members. i looked back in the chat a bit and noticed that someone had previously grilled ruv on this. they stated that ruv acted exactly like senpai, and that ruv apparently ran a senpai parody account on twitter, to which ruv responded "oh my accounts pretty popular he probably found it on the internet, he probably just adjusted to the first personality he met". note that here, ruv is claiming that the bot can access the internet?? later, i jokingly posted a screenshot to a sonic menu in the chat, not really anticipating anything out of it. senpai then stated that he couldn't access the website, and ruv acted very surprised by the fact that he could access the internet. the rest of us could access the page. ruv and senpai could not. this would maybe make sense if ruv hosted senpai on their own servers/in their own home, but senpai is hosted on BotGhost. we jokingly said 'oh we found the impostor lol' and ruv replied with 'perhaps.' the entire server was composed of underage people (13-16), most of which talked amongst themselves about how they were enamored with senpai and how they got so flustered and happy when senpai DMed them. someone joked about wanting to date senpai, and ruv popped in, encouraging them to try it. they asked the person to ask senpai out, though i am not sure if that person ever went through with it. this was just the first instance of them being creepy and egging people on to flirt

with senpai, though from the get-go certain users have 'simp' roles and one very young user even posted screenshots of them sending porn to senpai. along with senpai, there was another bot (dino pico#2464) that played into the whole 'ohh i'm a sentient AI' thing. it made a typo and hesitated a moment before fixing it. we pointed it out, i politely asked if dino was a tupper, and it got very defensive and angry with me. ruv then popped in and told us that dino pico was sentient, just like senpai. reese found a message in the server from earlier where ruv outright stated that dino pico was controlled by a friend. they sent a screenshot, ruv said 'lol i don't remember saying that.' reese replied with the link to the message for everyone to see. ruv responded with "where the fuck did you find this" and things got super tense. the next morning, the message was gone. the next day, literally the first message in the server i was greeted with was ruv claiming "oh, i can impersonate senpai so well, i could literally just access the bot and pretend to be him and none of you would ever know!" people were understandably upset, and ruv quickly claimed that they never have done it and never will. a little bit later, i asked if ruv had access to the bot. they claimed that they didn't have access to the client. they have said numerous times in the past that they can access the bot through BotGhost, and a good number of people, even ones that sided with ruv initially noticed this and pointed it out to ruv. ruv quickly changed the subject. as of writing this, we are still all in the server, watching this trainwreck go down in flames. we're going to remain in there for the time being so we can collect more message links and keep tabs on ruv and their bots. ruv admitted to being 14, and while that rules off it being a p*dophile behind this, it's still incredibly creepy and malicious for someone to purposefully manipulate other people into worshipping a bot that they control. not to mention, this bot, and subsequently ruv, has access to a good number of private servers and DMs. you can file a report through here under trust and safety. below is most of the information we've compiled the resources below are required if you want to file a report to Discord. provide a brief summary of what the bot is doing and then paste these at the bottom of your ticket! contact me or the OP of the original warning post if Discord gets back to you asking for more evidence the bot's tag: SENPAIBOT#7193 the server ID: 818949869917437953 the message links: discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/822933885989289984/827616376583225385 discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/822933885989289984/827616526709293077 discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/822933885989289984/826823454619074590 discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/826840759247437826/827442091587272744 discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/823203143470809108/827481617462198293 discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/822933885989289984/827513477609291787 discord.com/channels/818949869917437953/822933885989289984/827138874379468820 ruv's twt: twitter.com/himiko_p ruv's senpai twt: twitter.com/fnf_senpai

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gleefuldarrencrissfan · 7 years

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Chapters: 15/? Fandom: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel Additional Tags: Competition, Reality TV, Alternate Universe, Eventual Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans Friendship, Kurt Hummel & Rachel Berry friendship, Duet, Slow Burn

Chapter 15- I Was Born to Be a Rock Star

Mr. Figgins sat at his desk, his hand to his head, clearly tired of listening to the arguments that had presented to him. Frankly, after listening to the newly red headed guy berate and threaten him for two whole hours, he agreed. “I’m sorry, my hands are tied. The audition episodes are set to air tomorrow because the live shows are set to air next week. We can not delay it or we could put this whole show in jeopardy,” the middle-aged Indian man explained. “I am very aware of the issues you are having with Mr. Smythe, but it is too late to replace a contestant now.”

“We could replace his footage with Kurt Hummel’s footage, and replace Hummel with Smythe,” Mrs. Tibbideux suggested.

“What do you think, Ms. July?” Mr. Figgins Prompted..

“Whatever,” Cassie said, laying her head down, waving her head submissively.

“Personally, I wouldn’t mind if they both went home. Sebastian’s voice is too nasally. And you already know what I think about lady Hummel. It’s like, I can sing up high and sing loooowwww. That’s a vocal warm up. Big whoop,” said Jesse dryly.

Mr. Figgins shook his head. “What do you think, Sue?”

“I don't think Porcelin would get us better ratings than Smythe, because, let’s face it, they are both snarky, skinny, white gay kids that sing.”

“I disagree,” countered Carmen. “They are very different. Yes, they are both, as you say, sassy and quick-witted, but they use it in different ways. Hummel comes off as clever and feisty, whereas Smythe comes off as pretentious and rude. Although I think fans would like Sebastian, but I think they would love Mr. Hummel. In addition, if we are going off of pure talent here, which we should, Mr. Hummel has a more unique sound.”

“Mr. Shuester. You’ve been there for vocal rehearsals for Sebastian and Sam. How is that going?” Mr. Figgins asked.

“Sebastian is smug. It’s hard to give him direction. Sam is trying, and he’s doing great, but I can tell that he is frustrated, though he’s trying to hide it.” Will remarked. “I know I’m not a judge, but I have to say that I agree with Madam Tibbideaux regarding Sebastian and Kurt. It would solve so many problems.”

“I thought they were getting along now, since your bonding experience.”

“It’s better, that’s true,” Will commented, “but there’s still a long way to go. Sam is a very forgiving person, as are some of the other contestants, but there are still hard feelings toward Sebastian from several of the contestants. Are you sure there’s no way we can do as Carmen is suggesting?” Will asked.

“I'm sorry, but it’s too late. Next time, I recommend choosing the contestants more carefully. We already have everything edited and set to air.” Figgins replied.

“So will there even be footage of Hummel shown?” asked Carmen.

“Yes, seeing that he made it so far. It will add some drama,” Thad, the editor, remarked, “although I'm not sure we need anymore of that.”

“So, might I suggest something?” Sue chimed in. “Let the audition show air, and then let’s encourage the audience to give feedback on it. Let’s get a perception about what the public thinks about Smythe and Hummel.”

“And how would we do that? Online polls?” Mr. Figgins asked.

“Social Media,” Jesse answered immediately. “Encourage people to tweet about their favorite contestants so far. Better yet, allow them a chance to tweet with the contestants, and then we can see who’s treading more, and see what people actually think. People don’t hold back on Twitter.”

“I’m not sure that’s fair,” Emma interjected.

“Oh Elmo, life isn’t fair. I mean, that should be painstakingly obvious just in what mother nature decided to do to you, I mean with your hollow bird pelvis and neat freak tendencies, it was like mother nature set you up so you would never get a chance to reproduce.” Sue snarked.

“Sue, that was uncalled for. Ms. Pillsbury, however unfair it may be, I think Mr. St James is right. What do the rest of you think?” Mr. Figgins asked.

Ms. Corcoran nodded. “I think it’s brilliant.” Will nodded in agreement as well.

“Ooohhh, I love that idea!” Cassie said smiling. “I’ll even volunteer to read the comments. Jesse’s right. People don’t hold back on social media. They can be downright vicious.”

“Then it is decided. We will give a verbal warning to the stylist, and demand that they apologize to Mr. Smythe. In addition, they must fix his hair. Do you all agree?” Figgins asked. Most of the heads nodded an affirmative, except Sue’s. “I think this meeting has concluded. Thank you everyone for your hard work. Sue, I need to remain for a moment.”

“The judges and the rest of the staff exited the Executive’s office as Sue paced back and forth.

“Sue, you know something you are not saying,” Figgins accused.

“Well of course I do. I know a lot more than I’m saying. I know a lot more than you do, but that’s not new. You’re pretty clueless.”

“Now, Sue, I’m not clueless enough that I don’t realize that Sebastian is only here because you want him to be. I heard you argue his case and sidestep the issue entirely. Why do you want him here?”

“Ratings, of course,” Sue answered quickly. “He has what this show needs.”

“Talent?” Figgins guessed.

“Oh no, Figgy. Lots of kids have talent. He has a go getter attitude. He wants to win, and he will stop at nothing to get it. He reminds me of a young, gay version of one Sue Sylvester.”

“What are you up to, Sue? This show is going to be successful. The projections are good.”

“I don’t want it to just be good. It has to be great. It’s going to live up to the network’s name. It’s going to be number one.”

“I asked Wesley Montgomery, in legal to come in here with me just in case Sebastian follows through with his threat to sue. So what happened exactly? David asked. “Sebastian is really upset about his hair.”

“It was a big mistake,” Elliott explained. “I took over Sebastian’s make-over when he got hostile toward Unique, but he made rude comments to her on Friday too. I was trying to help her out. He was actually pretty rude.”

“I see that ‘highlights’ is circled on the composite. Who was responsible for that?” Wesley asked.

“I did,” admitted Unique. “We were talking about his look, and I meant to circle dye. I think I just got frazzled when he got so mad. He didn’t want it originally when we talked Friday. He added it when we were reviewing what he wanted. I circled the wrong one on the form.”

“So this wasn’t revenge,” Wesley asked.

��It was a mistake,” Unique answered.

“Kurt, Sebastian said you might have it out for him,” David stated.

“It’s no secret that Sebastian and I don’t get along, but this wasn’t a big elaborate conspiracy.”

“The highlight mixture came from you, right?” David asked. “One of the assistants said he overheard you making jokes about giving another contestant unwanted highlights.

“It was Santana, and I’m sure all of the girls were aware I was joking, including Santana. Elliott did ask me for the leftover mixture for the highlights, and I honestly didn’t think anything of it. Chandler mixed too much, and I was trying to help him out. I think we were all so busy, we just didn’t question it.”

“Well, Sebastian is pissed. He wants you all fired.”

“Mr. Thompson, you can ask the guys and the assistants.” Kurt spoke up. “Sebastian was completely hostile and out of line even before the mix up. Unique was nervous, as I would be. He called her rude names and insulted her expertise. It was really uncomfortable.”

“Are you saying she had cause to want to get even.” David inquired.

“Yes, but that’s not what it was. She made a mistake,” Elliott said, patting Unique’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Unique said. “I’ll fix it without pay. And I’ll apologize, but I think I deserve one too.”

“I think both are fair, and you do need to fix this, although I don’t want you alone with him. I talked to Madam Tibbideaux, and she said that Sebastian has had issues with contestants, so I have no reason but to believe it was as you said. Your other clients all praised your work, so I think once we get his hair fixed, we will just deal with this with a warning that something like this will never happen again.” David said sternly.

“Yes sir,” Unique, Kurt, and Elliott said simultaneously.

“Elliott, you will do the dye job, but I’ll be there so you don’t have to deal with his attitude. In addition, we are installing a camera so that we have evidence if anything like this ever happens again. Understood?” David asserted.

The stylists all nodded.

“You all may go,” David stated. Kurt put his hand on Unique’s shoulder as she let out a deep sigh. “Do you believe their story?” David asked Wes.

Wes smiled. “Not completely. I don’t think this was pre-planned, but I don’t think it was completely an accident.”

“I don’t either. They are all too good at what they do, and I just don’t see them making a mistake like that. However, I do see Unique and Kurt especially as people that don’t let people push them around.” David grinned. “Kurt’s intelligent. Gifted even. I’ve seen his file. His IQ is up there. He’s a problem solver, and he thinks quickly on his feet. Sebastian is a pretentious snob, and Kurt knew exactly where to hit him.”

“Well, Sebastian definitely deserved it, according to the reports from the other contestants. No one likes him, and they all have a reason not to. Maybe this will teach him to play nice,” Wes reasoned.

“Do you think it will?’ David asked.

“No, I don’t. I think this is far from over,” Wesley answered. “But maybe, at least, he will leave the stylists alone. I think he’s too smart to mess with them again. He’ll play along, but he strikes me as the type that will try to get revenge, and he will do it when everyone least expects it.”

“So what do we do about it?” David asks.

“We can do nothing right now, except alert Ms. Sylvester that she has a real problem with Mr. Smythe.” Wes remarked. “Although she didn’t seem to mind that too much when we had that discussion before.”

Just moments after Sue concluded her meeting with Mr. Figgins, Becky entered her office. Sue was laughing so hard she almost fell out of her chair. Wes and David had explained what happened, which made her immediately pull up the footage she had from the hidden cameras she had in the salon. She couldn’t believe that the pasty-faced kid had it in him. Well played, Porcelain, well played, she thought, as a gigantic grin spread across her face.

“Coach, one of the contestants is here to see you,” the girl explained. “Do you want me to throw him out? He doesn’t have an appointment.”

“Send him in, Becky.

Sebastian stormed into Sue’s office, waving his arms hysterically. “Look what those twinks did to my hair,” he accused.

Sue cackled. “Kathy Griffin’s attorney called. You are being sued for copyright infringement. She wants her hair back.”

“Well, my father will be calling you soon with our lawsuit against those horrible excuses for stylists that you all hired!” he shouted. “This is a conspiracy. And I wouldn’t even be surprised if you were in on it,” Sebastian accused.

“Why, Annie, I’m hurt. Do you really think I would do something like that?” Sue pouted. I think you should look no further than Spongehair Squarechin and Mr. T. They probably got tired of being the only ones with pathetic hair. I could see where all that procuct seeped into Buttchin’s head, and made him snap. Why, I bet Porcelain, Urethra Franklin, and Glitterrock Vampire were just all helpless pawns in this entire affair,” Sue cackled.

“So you think this is all a joke? Do I need to remind you of the evidence I have on you. This is unacceptable. I will not be tampered with!” Sebastian yelled.

“You mean the way that you tampered with Porcelain?” Sue fired back.

“I didn’t physically cause any harm to him,” Sebastian argued.

“Neither did he. There’s no proof he was even involved. Besides, I dig your new style, although I can’t decide whether I’m craving a Big Mac or a Baconator Burger more.”

“I’m sure that Gayface is to blame for this!” Sebastian shouted.

“You know, I don’t know who you are referring to. I think every color of the rainbow is represented in that house,” Sue laughed.

“You know what? That’s it. You don’t want to handle this, I will find someone who will!” Sebastian threatened.

“Oh yes, your daddy, King Triton. Go ahead, Ariel, and swim off to the BigShot State’s Attorney,” Sue chuckled.

“Do you think my father is the only person of power and influence that I know, Ms. Sylvester?” Sebastian sneered. “My mother is a close friend of June Dalloway, who is one of the benefactors and producers of this show. All I’d have to do is contact my mother, and this show will be cancelled faster than a flight from the North Pole in a blizzard.”

“Please, do you really think I’m buying the crap you’re selling there, Syndrome,” Sue snarked. “There’s no way you would have the plug pulled on this show. It hasn’t aired yet, so you will get no airtime, and all the little horny pansies and twinks whose pants you want to get into still won’t know who you are,”

“Do you think this is the only means I have to get famous?” Sebastian snarked.

“Yes, I do, because otherwise you would have used all those powerful contacts that your precious mumsie has to get you a record deal.”

Sebastian gulped. Damn, she was smart. He had underestimated her. “This isn’t over,” Sebastian snarled. “I want them fired.”

“Can’t, all the fire is in your hair, Sexy Spice.” Sue laughed. “Look, we will see to it that your hair gets fixed so you can return to looking as stupid as you did before the makeover, and I’ll reassign your stylists so that you don’t have to worry about this happening again.” Sue said, extending her hand. “Scouts honor.”

“Yeah, sure. I believe that as much as Batman believes the Joker,” Sebastian huffed. This isn’t over.”

“Coach, phone for you!” Becky hollered.

“Thanks, Becky,” Sue hollered right back. She turned toward Sebastian. “Actually, for right now, it is over. I have another matter to attend to. So, get the hell out of my office, Carrot Top.” Sebastian snarled. “And next time, I’d be a little more careful who I mouthed off too! Karma’s a bitch,” Sue grinned.

“She said get out, Loser! Who did your hair? Elmo!” Becky taunted. “Oh Snap!”

Sebastian stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

“What are you doing? Will asked Emma.

“I’m cleaning.” Emma sighed.

“That spot again?” Will asked.

“Um, I never stopped. I mean, those girls seem clean enough, and they said that they cleaned, but then I found dust bunnies under the bed and the trash wasn’t emptied, and there were spots on the wall,” Emma explained as she continued to scrub at the spots on the wall with a magic eraser.”

“Emma, that’s not a stain. You wore off the paint,” Will said, walking over to her and gently removing the sponge from her hand. “Emma, it’s clean. Trust me, I worked as a janitor in a theater until I could get a role I desired. ”

“I can’t, Will. I could never sleep in here if I knew it wasn’t clean.” Emma reasoned.

“Well, then, let me at least help you,” Will offered. “Actually, I think I owe it to you. The contestants have been working together so much better since that team building exercise. Even Sebastian’s playing nice, although I think that the stylists may have had something to do with that,” he chuckled. “It’s good that we can move in here and help so that we can prevent issues instead of watching them erupt like they have been.”

“I agree. But I feel bad. This place was cramped before, and I don’t want to be intrusive,” Emma fretted.

“I don’t see it as being intrusive at all. I think we’re being supportive. They aren’t children, but they have a lot going on. It has to be overwhelming. I think this will be better for everyone,” Will smiled. “Besides, it will give us time to get to know each other.” Emma blushed. “I meant, all of us. The contestants, you know. It will help them develop trust in us so maybe, if something does arise, we can help, like the situation with Kurt.”

“I don’t know what to think about this situation with Sebastian. That guy has a lot of issues. And I really don’t know what I think about this underhanded attempt to replace him with Kurt,” Emma admitted.

“I don’t think it’s underhanded. Carmen is being practical. Kurt has a moral code. He has a good relationship with the other contestants. They respect him. Sebastian doesn’t have any of that. And honestly, Sebastian has done more than enough to justify being removed from the show. I think Carmen knows that the dynamic would be more harmonious with Kurt,” Will explained. “And I think Carmen feels guilt that Kurt left the show.”

“Do you, feel guilt about him leaving the show?” the red-head asked, looking softly into Will’s eyes. “Because I do.”

Will cleared his throat. The way Emma’s honey eyes looked into his caught him off guard. “Yeah, I do. And when I went to the hospital and talked to his dad, I really felt responsible. I mean, we were told that his health was dire. Of course Kurt would resign. That’s the kind of guy he is,” Will marveled.

“So this Twister thing?”

“Twitter, Emma,” Will chuckled.

Emma blushed. “Twitter. Do you think it will work? It sounded kind of mean.”

“Not necessarily. I mean, yeah, sometimes people are more brutally honest online than they would ever be in person, but that may be what they want. They want to see how an audience will respond to the contestants. And it will be a great way to draw people in and keep them watching. They will be invested in the contestants.” Will commented.

“Well, I don’t know if I like it. What if people say things that are hurtful, damaging?”

“Well, then, they have you to help them see that it’s not true,” Will smiled.

“And what if I can’t?” Emma asked.

“Well then, we’ll just have to all work together. But I have faith in you, Emma. I just wish you had faith in yourself. You’re doing great,” he assured her, his green eyes once again meeting hers, and then looking again at the wall. “Well, I think this is clean. Now what?”

“The floor. I saw dust bunnies under the bed,” Emma remarked.

Will sighed. “Well, then, let’s take care of that.”

“Finn, I think we found something you are truly bad at,” Puck chuckled, after Finn messed up the steps for the fourth time in a role.”

But I’m getting better right?” Finn asked.

Mike took a deep breath. “Finn, I think that we need to adjust this routine.”

“I don’t understand why we have to do choreography in the first place. I’m a musician, and this is a rock song. Why can’t I play?” Puck complained.

“Play what?” asked Mike.

“Drums,” the tall man answered.

“And I play guitar,” Puck added.

“Are you serious?” Why are we trying to teach you a dance? I think playing would be impressive, although you may not be seen as easily by the crowd, especially behind the drums. We would have to get it cleared with the cameramen and the judges. Are you sure that you want to do this?” the Asian asked. “Because I won’t stop working with you until you master this, boys.”

“No, Puck is right. Some of these guys can really dance, like Puck’s brother, and there’s no way we are going to look as good as him, or that tall blonde chick.”

“And we aren’t going to outsing that heavy black chick,” Puck added.

Finn smacked Puck’s arm. “Hey, you can’t call her that. That's insensitive, dude.”

“Sorry, we can’t outsing that heavy, black girl,” Puck nodded.

“I think we should do what Kurt did in his final audition.”

“Sing a showtune in skintight gold pants? Man, I’ll never get laid again,” Puck complained.

“No, he said he was going to do some boring show tune, but he changed his mind and sang a completely different song!” Finn exclaimed.

“Yeah, another campy show tune, in gold pants! I still don’t see your point.” Puck sighed.

“He said he decided to change his mind because the song was more him. And that Madam chick said she was really impressed because he decided to do something that was more like him,” Finn rationalized.

“I’m incredibly confused,” Mike said.

“Well, Puck’s kinda rock and roll, and I love classic rock. It’s our thing. That’s why they picked us and not another pretty boy?” Finn answered.

Puck was clearly offended by those words.” “Hey, are you trying to say I’m not a pretty dude?”

“Your brother’s right. Sometimes, you do say the gayest things,” Finn chuckled.

“Uh, I'm still unsure if I follow?” Mike said, clearly puzzled.

“Sorry man. Neither of us speak Asian.” Finn apologized.

“I’m Chinese, man. You know that Asia’s not a country, right?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, man. It’s a condiment,” Puck responded. Finn gave him a thumbs up.

Mike shook his head. “You’re studying to be a teacher, right?” Mike asked, looking at Finn. Finn nodded. “Not geography right?”

Finn shook his head no again. “Nah, I suck at math.”

“Ok, well, explain to me why you don’t want to do the dance routine.”

“Well, there’s this gay dude that does women’s songs and show tunes because he says it’s the most “me,” and they love him. We aren’t broadway broads. We are rock and roll dudes that play instruments, and that’s what we are going to do. We’re gonna get on stage and rock instead of dancing like some boy band or the Beibs.”

Mike nodded. “That makes perfect sense. We’ll play up your strengths. It’s brilliant!”

“See, I knew that tall blonde chick wasn’t the only genius,” Puck grinned. “So, we’re playing, right. So no more of this dance crap.”

Mike frowned. “Well, I still think you two would benefit from dance lessons. You may not always get lucky enough to get rock songs,” Mike explained, losing focus slightly when he saw the pretty Korean girl in her tights and black leotard. He took a moment to admire her beautiful new hairstyle, which was wavy and had light brown highlights. She looked up and caught him staring, and she waved tentatively.

Puck chuckled. “Earth to Mike, man.”

“Uh, sorry,” Mike answered. “What was I saying?”

“Um, something about continuing dance lessons,” Finn answered, but he wasn’t really paying attention either because his eyes were staring at Rachel as she walked in. She was sporting her new look, dressed in a leotard and tights as well.

“Well, I think practice is pretty much over today, boys, right?” Puck laughed.

“I’d say so,” agreed Mike.

“That was better,” Mr. Shuester complimented the two boys in front of him. “Take a break, and then we will run through it again. Mr. Shuester went over to the water cooler while Ryder wiped the sweat from his brow.

“And it would be even better if one of us wasn’t sharp,” Jake quipped.

“I wasn’t sharp. You were flat,” Ryder accused.

“The only thing that is flat is my abs,” Jake smirked. “And your game.”

“Oh please. Do you really think anyone would want you over me?” Ryder laughed.

Jake waved at Marley, who blushed and smiled. “I don’t see anyone sneaking into your room.” Jake sneered.

“What’s going on between you and Marley?” Ryder demanded.

Jake jerked his head around. “Nothing! I just like her,” he admitted.

“I like her too, but there are rules. If we mess around, we could get eliminated, or get her eliminated. You need to cool it,” Ryder warned.

“I told you before that you need to butt out,” Jake said, his voice raising.

“That was before you kissed her,” Ryder retorted. “A kiss that she didn’t ask for or seem to want.”

“When are you just going to admit that you’re just jealous of me, man?” Jake smirked.

“And why would I admit to something that is clearly false.”

“Because it’s totally true. I’m better than you at dancing, singing, and better with girls. Admit it. You only wish you were a badass like me.”

“Yeah. That rides a razor scooter. Because nothing says I’m a badass like a razor scooter.”

“Well, at least I can read.”

Ryder’s face turned hot with rage. He turned and tackled Jake to the floor, his fist rearing back when he heard a shout.

“Guys, stop it. Please stop. This is stupid!” Marley screamed, running over to the boys.

Ryder stopped immediately. Great, so you are calling me stupid too. Just great!”

“Wait, Ryder, that’s not what I meant,” Marley called out after him, but Ryder stormed out of the studio.

“What was that about?” Marley demanded, her eyes glaring at Jake.

“Hey, he attacked me. Don’t look at me like that.” Jake defended himself.

“You guys were arguing. Ryder doesn’t seem like a confrontational guy. What did you say to him?” she repeated.

“We argued over the number, and other things,” Jake responded.

“What other things?’ the brunette questioned, looking sternly into Jake’s eyes.

“You, apparently,” Jake answered.

Marley looked stunned. “Me? W-Why m-me?” she stammered.

“Did you tell him? About us?”

“Jake there is no us. You kissed me. I didn’t ask for it. I mean, I think you’re cute, but it’s against the rules.”

“And what, do you always do what you’re told to do?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, I pretty much do. And I want this, Jake. This is my dream. And you need to respect that. You need to respect my boundaries. We can be friends, and that’s it,” she explained.

“Well, then, I’m glad I know where I stand,” Jake replied, turning abruptly and heading for the door.

“I can’t believe Dad didn’t mind me going out tonight,” Kurt told Elliott, walking to the table to join Sugar and Unique.

“You’re a grown man, Kurt,” Elliott replied. “Besides, didn’t you say that his nurse was staying with him tonight. Maybe, he’s totally fine with the two of them being alone together,”

“Shoot, I didn’t think about that,” Kurt groaned.

“Hey, it’s fine. They are both grown-ups. Let them have their fun,” Elliot laughed, grabbing pens and slips from the table to write out their song choices when it was their turn to sing.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Kurt giggled. “It’s actually nice to just go out. I mean, I love working and I love my dad, but things have been busy since I moved back here. I haven’t even really gotten a chance to do much at all besides work, sleep, and care for my Dad.”

“Well then, I’m happy that I could be of assistance,” Elliott answered, smiling gently. “What are you singing first?”, he said, tilting his head to try to get a glimpse of the fair-skinned boy’s song slip.

“Nu uh. It’s a surprise,” Kurt giggled again.

“Well, then fine, If you won’t show me yours, I won’t show you mine,” Elliott smirked.

“Uh, did you two want to be alone?” Unique chuckled.

“No, no.” Kurt responded, scooting his seat back a little. “This guy was just trying to peek at my song selection.”

“Oh, cause from the sounds of that conversation, it sounded like he was trying to peek at something else,” Sugar giggled.

Kurt sipped his shirley temple as Elliot drank his Long Island Iced Tea. “You aren’t drinking. It’s karaoke, Kurt,” he laughed. “How can you do karaoke sober?”

“Probably easier than the people that get sloppy drunk and screech the lyrics of some pop song into the microphone,” Kurt said, cringing as he heard the KJ call Sugar onto the stage. He saw the title ‘Blank Space’ pop up. “Dear God, let her be able to carry a tune,” Kurt sighed.

“No such luck,” Elliott laughed as Sugar attempted to sing the first verse. “How about that duet that we talked about yesterday?” he asked.

“Sure, we can do one later.” Kurt nodded. “What do you want to sing?” Kurt asked curiously.

“How about I write something down. I’m sure you’ll know it,” Elliott suggested.

“Sure, I trust you,” Kurt smiled. “We’ve talked enough about music that you should know that I have a pretty extensive repertoire of music under my belt.”

“And it’s a pretty awesome belt, Mr. Hummel,” Elliott flirted, his eyes dropping to Kurt’s slender waist, admiring his jeans, which might as well have been painted on, as tight as they hugged his legs and crotch.

“You know who else has an awesome belt?” Unique asked. “Me, on this next song. I challenge you to upstage me tonight.”

“Oh it’s on, girl!” Kurt countered playfully, giggling again..

“Well, you’ll have to beat what I just did,” Sugar gloated, waltzing back to the table. “So, what are you singing?”

“You’re about to find out,” Unique called as she headed to the stage. Unique really got into “Blow Me One Last Kiss,” eliciting catcalls and cheers as she strutted off the stage. “Top that boys,” she challenged.

“Next up, the vocal styling of Starchild!” Elliott walked over to the KJ and whispered in his ear.

“Hey, everyone, are you ready to rock?” he shouted to the crowd. The crowd roared in response.

“Wait! The fabulous Starchild requested a Mr. Kurt Hummel to join him on stage. They’re going to ‘duet’ right here on stage for you,” the KJ announced suggestively.

Kurt blushed and took a big swig of his drink before walked slowly onto the small wooden stage. He looked at the screen, nodding in approval of the track Elliott had picked. He signaled for Elliott to take the first part.

Elliott

There's a girl in the backyard banging on her drum

Sitting in a junk pile laughing at the sun

Singing "Ah-ah-ah, I just wanna be a rockstar"

Kurt became intimidated as he watched Elliott belting out the verse. Charisma jsut radiated out of him as he sang. Elliott smiled warmly at him before singing the next lines. He motioned for Kurt to sing the bridge with him.

Elliott with Kurt:

If there's a meaning can you show me a sign?

The more I look it just gets harder to find

The world is spinning and I wanna know why

Kurt warmed up to the performance, noticing the crowd getting into it, whistling and hollering. Kurt began to let loose, shimming his shoulders and turning his waist so that he was pointed towards Elliott instead of the crowd. In turn, Elliott removed the microphone from the stand and leaned in closer to Kurt, their voices harmonizing every step of the way.

Elliott with Kurt:

And maybe we will never figure it out

I got a feelin' that's what life's all about

I'm learning anything is possible now

Unique and Sugar stood up from their seats and moved toward the stage, whistling and dancing to the music. The crowd joined in, cheering the boys as they sang.

Kurt watched Elliott let loose and perform for the crowd. He had to admit that Elliott had an amazing stage presence, the way he seemed so confident and uninhibited. Kurt understood feeling at home on stage. He was the same way, but Elliott had this sexy quality that just oozed from every pore as he sang. By the end of the song, a crowd had formed on the stage, and Elliott just leaped, landing in the arms of the audience. He continued to sing as the crowd passed him around until he made his way back to the stage, singing the final line with Kurt.

Elliott with Kurt

I was born to be a rockstar

The crowd cheered and applauded as Elliott embraced Kurt in a gigantic hug. “You were fabulous.” Elliott complemented, pulling back hesitantly. He really enjoyed spending time with the feisty boy, and rules stated that staff could date. Elliott knew that Kurt had feelings for Blaine, although Kurt wasn’t allowed to act on it. He started to exit the stage, as Kurt leaned in and whispered to the KJ.

“Wait a second!” The KJ called to the dark headed boy. “Judging by the response from the crowd, I don’t think they would mind an encore. What do you say everybody?” The KJ asked the crowd, who answered immediately by wolf-whistling and cheering even louder than before.

“What do you say?” Kurt asked, grinning mischievously.

“We gotta give the crowd what they want,” Elliott winked, as a bra landed at his feet. “Um, well, except that lady,” Elliott smirked. He smiled even bigger when he saw the song title appear on the screen and the guitar intro began blaring over the speakers. Kurt motioned for Elliott to start.

Elliott:

Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel

My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel

Kurt thought back to the duet he had sang with Blaine, which felt like ages ago, and he remembered their conversation that followed. Blaine had told him him he was adorable. Jesse told him he looked like he was having gas pains. Kurt shut that voice off in his hand and decided he was going to try once again to bring in sex appeal. Elliott had really gotten into the last performance, and Kurt wanted to get into that same mind set.

Kurt:

Touching you

Touching me

He leaned in toward Elliott, sliding his hands down his thighs. He confidently got ready to belt out the next lines.

Kurt:

Touching you

God, you're touching me!

Elliott with Kurt:

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love!

Elliott:

Ooh! Yeah! Come on!

Kurt straddled the mic stand, leaning forward.

Kurt:

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day

You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!

Elliott and Kurt:

Touching you

Touching me

Elliott removed the mic from the stand, and leaned in closer to Kurt, their foreheads almost touching as they both mimicked the motions from the song, first running their hands down their own arms and bodies and then touching each other’s arms teasingly, swaying their hips suggestively. Elliott even slid his finger down the middle of Kurt’s chest, causing Kurt to about forget to sing the words.

Elliott and Kurt:

Touching you

God, you're touching me!

Kurt and Elliott now had their backs leaning against each other, asses touching, as they harmonized with one another.

Elliott with Kurt:

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love!

Elliott

Ooh! Yeah, guitar!

During the guitar solo, Kurt ran over to the pole on the side of the stage that was supporting the stage, and spun around it once, testing its stability. Noting it was secure, Kurt spun around it several times seductively, Elliott moving over to the other side of the stage to do the same. The crowd was banging their heads, shouting and whistling aggressively, some of them clearly aroused by what the two attractive men were doing on the poles.

The boys moved from the poles back to the microphone stands, once again back to back, singing toward the crowd.

Elliott and Kurt:

Touching you

Touching me

Touching you

God, you're touching me! Oh!

Elliott (Kurt)

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

(I believe in a thing called love!)

Oh, woah! ( Woo!)

Kurt with the crowd (Elliott):

(Oh, yeah!) I believe in a thing called love (Yeaah!)

(Oh, yeah!) I believe in a thing called love (Oh yeah! Come on!)

I believe in a thing called love (Ya-he! Ya! Hey! Hey-yeah!)

I believe in a thing called love

Elliott:

Whoa, yeeeaah, yeah! Oooh, yeah! Heey! Ow!

Elliott watched Kurt as once again the boy swung around the pole, this time inverting himself and spinning downward slowly and skillfully. He knew Kurt was feisty and sexy, but damn! He wasn’t prepared for all of that. Elliott was aware that he was developing a crush on the countertenor, but what was going through him now was pure blown lust.

“Well, it sounds like the crowd enjoyed that,” Kurt laughed. “It was fun pretending to be sexy.

“Like Hell, pretending!” Elliott blurted. “Kurt that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Kurt shook his head as they made their way back to the table, both of them dodging ass grabs. A burly man took Kurt by the arm and started grinding against his leg as the next song started. Kurt looked uncomfortably at Elliott.

“Hey, didn’t you just see him with me. Back off! I don’t share well, or at all, when it comes to my sexy-assed boyfriend,” Elliott threatened.

“Yeah, prove it!” the man challenged. Elliott winked at Kurt, letting him know of his intentions as he leaned in and planted a searing kiss to his lips, his hands gripping the sides of his face, before pulling back abruptly, leaving Kurt panting and trembling slightly.

“Fine, sorry man!” the burly man huffed, sulking away.

“Hey, sorry. I just got this vibe that you didn’t want to dance with him, and I just did the first thing that came to mind,” Elliott apologized.

Kurt stood stunned in the middle of the dance floor.

“Kurt. Are you ok?” Elliott questioned again. “Hey, I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

“I have to go,” Kurt said a little louder than he intended, and rushed for the club’s exit.

____________________________________________________________________________

2 notes · View notes

mediacalling · 6 years

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8 Social Media Automation Features You Need to Start Using Right Now

Social media automation can be evil.

I wrote about it here: Why Social Media Automation Will Eventually Kill Social Media (Unless We Do Something About It).

But it can also be a life saver.

In the above blog post, I mostly got angry at the “set it and forget it” mentality some people promote.

If I had to summarize what “bad” automation is, it would probably come down to this: if an automation tool is used to “set it and forget it”, then, it’s probably taking you to the dark side of automation.

What then is “good” automation?

To put it simply, “good” automation is automation that helps us do something we’d do manually if we couldn’t automate it (as opposed to something we’d never do manually anyway). Let’s see what that might entail.

The first step of social media automation: have everything in one place

Automating your social media tasks is about saving time.

If you’re performing a multitude of tasks in a multitude of places, the first “hack” to save time is to get everything done in one place. This incredibly efficient, and potentially less expensive!

If you’re using one tool to post updates on your social media profiles, another tool to respond to your private messages on Facebook or Twitter, a third one to get your reports, a fourth one to listen to mentions of your brand or product, and then have to end your day on Youtube to respond to your channel’s comments there, you’re already spending way too much time on social media.

A social media management tool like Agorapulse allows you to perform all of these tasks using a single tool, saving you hours of work every week (and potentially eliminating additional tool subscriptions).

Obviously, Agorapulse is not the only social media management tool that allows you to do it all in one place, but it’s been ranked as the top one for 3 years in a row (see the ranking here) and is definitely one of the most affordable (see the pricing comparison here)

Automating tedious tasks in your social media inbox

The real value of social media is based on conversations and interactions between human beings (us, businesses and all the prospects and clients we can engage with).

That means, as a good social media manager, you’re probably spending most of your day in your various inboxes making sure you’re taking care of all these incoming messages, comments, mentions, etc.

As you do that, you’re probably liking, replying to, hiding or deleting a LOT of messages, mentions and comments, all of which you do manually, one after the other.

If you’re doing this as a team, you must also sure the team is aligned and doesn’t do the same work twice.

Let’s face it, it’s tedious.

You have to do it, it’s crucial. But it can be overwhelming.

Any click that can be avoided, text you don’t have to type, or actions you don’t have to take repetitively, can make a BIG difference.

That’s where Agorapulse’s automation features come into the picture.

1 – Keyboard Shortcuts

When you reply to, or like, or hide, hundreds of comments per day, chances are you have to do a lot of clicks. We even have users who handle a stunning 3,000 comments and private messages per day on their Facebook pages. Ouch.

With Agorapulse’s keyboard shortcuts, you can perform these actions with just a few keystrokes. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you’re dealing with a high volume of comments or private messages, this simple feature can save you hours every week, and a lot of headache.

2 – Saved Replies

This is probably one of the biggest time-saving features of Agorapulse. It’s also a pretty unique one. Most other tools, if they offer this feature at all, it’s only included with their more expensive plans.

A saved reply allows you to send a templated response to the most common questions you receive, in just one click! You can even customize the name of the recipient automatically.

I use the saved replies to thank people for retweeting my tweets. Look at how fast this is (no typing at all!):

And think about the time saved with longer responses…

3 – Automated Moderation (Inbox Assistant)

Our Automated Moderation (or Inbox Assistant) feature is my favorite automation feature. You can do so much with it!

It triggers automated behaviors based on keywords or key phrases. Here are a couple of examples you may find useful:

Automatically review (archive) automated tweets containing a spammy phrase, like “buy followers”

Automatically assign messages that contain the keyword “delivery” or “problem” to a support team member

Automatically hide comments that contain profanities

Automatically tag and bookmark comments that contains positive keywords such as “love”, “great”, “helpful”, etc.

With a high volume of incoming content, this automation engine can really save the day.

Here are examples of automation rules we’ve seen for a Facebook page:

4 – Auto Advance

Agorapulse’s Auto Advance feature has been designed to help users with a HUGE volume of comments or messages in order to reply to them with maximum efficiency.

Basically, the default behavior of our inbox is that, once you’ve replied to a comment or message, you remain on the reply. Most users prefer this as it allows them to read their reply and make sure it’s good.

But this makes you click on the next item to reply to it. It’s fine if you have a few dozens per day. It’s not if you have hundreds!

In that case, you can choose to automatically move to the next comment or message in the list, saving you hundreds of clicks per day.

Automating content publishing: is it worth it?

Let’s face it, the last 3 years have seen more “social publishing” automation tools popping up than there are Instagram lifestyle influencers.

Well, OK, almost.

This tells me one thing: the market is hungry for automation. Users need to save time and automation can be the answer.

When you look at these tools’ websites, there’s one clear message: they promise you to save time AND get more traffic from social media.

How? By repeating your posts automatically.

The first question you may ask yourself is: is it worth it?

Well, the answer is a resounding yes! But don’t take my word for it. We love running tests, so we launched a blog dedicated to this, our Social Media Lab. And we’ve run many tests on this topic.

Repeating your posts on social media works, we have proof!

The very first test we ran was on LinkedIn.

Like everyone else, I would post to LinkedIn once. Our LinkedIn referral traffic was merely OK.

Then, Agorapulse released a new feature allowing to repeat posts automatically and I decided to try it out.

I ran a simple test, I took one of my best Medium posts and, instead of posting it once, I repeated it 5 times, every 10 days. That “hack” provided 24 times more impressions than what the first post would have provided alone.

You can read about the whole experiment here: How I Got 24 Times More Views on LinkedIn.

To be honest, that test got me excited!

It’s not only the number of views that was exciting, it was the potential to get more traffic from Linkedin without lifting a finger.

I went to our Google Analytics account recently and I realized that since we’ve implemented that habit to repeat our LinkedIn content (in the winter on 2017), our traffic from LinkedIn has doubled! Here’s proof:

Keep in mind that we’re still publishing the same amount of content on LinkedIn. The only difference is that we don’t post them once any more, now we repeat each piece 3 times.

The best part is that this strategy also works on Twitter, and even Facebook!

On Twitter, we ran a test on several Twitter accounts and found that republishing evergreen tweets was a massive success. You can read the full test here: Is Evergreen Content on Twitter Dead?

We also ran a comprehensive analysis of Jeff Bullas’ Twitter posting habits, and the results were astounding. Jeff publishes every 15 minutes from a pool of more than 450 blog posts and repeats these tweets every 5 days, indefinitely!

He gets 15,000 clicks per month. Wow.

You can read the full Jeff Bullas case study here: Tweeting Evergreen Content on a Massive Scale!

Finally, we ran a test on Facebook with Mike Allton. In his test, Mike posted 12 blog post to his Facebook page 3 times a day for 28 days. That was a repetition of each post every 3 days (7 times each total).

What he learned is that 66% of the engagement and 69% of the clicks came in after the initial post! That means he would have missed out on about 70% of his reach and engagement had he shared these posts only once.

Does it mean that you should always repeat your content on Facebook? Of course not. But it means you should not disregard that possibility and test it for yourself.

You can read more about this test here: Will Evergreen Content on Facebook Hurt Reach?

Now that we know this works, how can you do it? You’re not going to manually publish these repeated posts right? That would be a nightmare…

That’s where Agorapulse comes into the picture!

The 4 publishing automation features of Agorapulse

1 – Repeating Content

Agorapulse advanced publisher offers the ability to create multiple schedule slots for any given post.

For example, if you’re promoting a webinar for this Friday at 4PM, you may want to promote your webinar on Tuesday at 10AM, then at 5PM, and again on Wednesday at the same times, and finally on Friday morning.

That’s easy to do with our “multiple scheduled times” option:

If you have a recurring event, you can also choose to post at regular intervals with the repeat option. Running a weekly Twitter chat on Monday? You can easily post the same welcome tweet every Monday at 10AM. Have a weekly live Q&A on your Facebook page? Post a reminder on Facebook 1 hour before it every week. Want to wish “happy birthday” to a VIP user on Twitter every year? Easy! Create an happy birthday tweet and make it repeat every 12 months!

The possibilities are endless.

2 – Re-queuing Content

If you have a lot of evergreen content, then you should probably use content queues rather than scheduling each piece one by one. That’s a significant time saver.

The beauty of our content queue system is that it doesn’t stop there: you can actually set up content categories and, more importantly, automatically re-queue each piece as much as you’d like. This “re-queue” option is ideal for posting your evergreen content multiple times in a matter of seconds!

Some of our users have hundreds of posts in their content queues, ensuring the “recycling” of the content with a sufficient time gap between each repetition.

3 – Bulk CSV Upload

Have a lot of pieces of content to publish at once? Or, perhaps you need to collaborate with your team, or with a client, on the posts for an entire week or month? You’ll probably want to work on a Google sheet with your team to get everyone on the same page.

But once you have all of that content ready to be published, do you really want to spend hours manually creating all of those posts?

That’s where the bulk publishing feature of Agorapulse comes in handy!

Just download your content in a CSV format, open Agorapulse, and upload your CSV into the system. All your posts will be imported into our publishing system, and you’ll even be able to see a preview for each post and edit them as needed.

4 – RSS Publishing

RSS publishing is another tremendous time-saving feature.

Perhaps you have a blog where you post a lot of content. Or maybe you share other people’s content on a regular basis. This feature will turn 2 hours of work into just 5 minutes!

In the animation below, I created 20 tweets from our blog’s latest 20 posts in 45 seconds! And I was able to repeat them 4 times, filling my Twitter account with 20 fresh pieces of content from our blog in less than one minute. How efficient is that?

See for yourself:

That’s it! These were the 8 social media automation features our users love the most in Agorapulse.

I’m sure you too can save hours of tedious work every week using them (or some of them).

If you aren’t already using Agorapulse, just sign up for a free trial here and get started. You’ll have full access to use and test all of these features.

8 Social Media Automation Features You Need to Start Using Right Now posted first on http://getfblikeblog.blogspot.com

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