#i had enjoyable group activities. i had ppl telling me i was doing a good job. i had AUTHORITY FIGURES telling me i was doing a good job!!!!

[piplupod]

me when i realize that pretty much everything in my life has actually only gotten worse since i graduated highschool, and all the times i was told things would get better were absolutely false !!!!!!

#i am going fucking insane. this is so stupid #i had a social life. i had friends. i had a job i could keep up with outside of school. i had a solid routine and schedule. #i had insurance. i didnt have to worry about money. i didnt have to buy groceries. i didnt have to cook every day. #i had enjoyable group activities. i had ppl telling me i was doing a good job. i had AUTHORITY FIGURES telling me i was doing a good job!!!! #i had a place to go to be away from home every weekday!! i had hope for the future still to some extent (not a lot but more than i do now)! #I DONT HAVE ANYYYY OF THAT NOW. I do have friends but not in-person!!! zero social life except hospital out-patient bullshit!!! #anyways the highschool is doing one of my fav musicals that i came THIS CLOSE to doing my grad year #but the vote was indecisive so they did some bullshit that nobody was happy with lmfao #i fucking petitioned hard. lobbied HARD. to get us to do that musical. i worked so hard to get everyone on board #but everyone was just waffling about it. and then we ended up w smth that nobody was happy with #AND NOW THIS YEAR. THEYRE DOING THAT FUCKING MUSICAL. THAT HURTS. LIKE A LOT. A LOT A LOT. #like to the point where i have now genuinely cried after hearing that theyre doing it #that was my one fucking chance in highschool to be part of a musical i actually cared about and enjoyed and i lost it #i had watched my brothers be in these fun musicals when they were in school but for my three years I got NOTHINGGG #it hurts so fucking bad. i had been looking forward to that ever since we moved to this town. and then i got fucking nothing. #and now that im out of there and realizing how my life is absolutely fucked and i have to kill myself then they finally do it. #gallons of salt in the big fat gaping wound. insane. #genuinely feeling kind of shocked. how the hell do things line up so perfectly to hurt me this badly so often fjfkfl #maybe im just fucking pathetic and overly emotional idk victim complex or smth awful #i just kind of want to be done like right now. but i have to wait at least a month before i call it quits so i dont wreck this time of year #for my family for the rest of their lives lmfao #my siblings and dad dont deserve that. my mother probably does but whatever #im tired!!! im fucking exhausted!!! this sucks so incredibly badly!!! #suicide tw

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 189 - I still have no clue why the lords' sanctuary is used as a grave like okay yeah I do it's mostly symbolic and to grieve but I still think it doesn't make sense. All the other uses? Yeah cool. Grave? Nah, not when purebloods dissipate into red mist when they die. Extremely funny imagining mvp lord picking out a fancy coffin full well knowing he won't leave a corpse though like okay king <3 and I haven't even started on those damn stairs.

- Everytime Rael's being cringe I flash through renditions of memes that cover the general energy of habitual suffering that is simultaneously willing yet forced.

- Tbh as someone who doesn't particularly believe in the whole concept of honourable fighting unless it's sports or agreed upon beforehand by all parties and because they're going against what they perceive as traitors or invaders... Rajak shouldn't be scolding Rael for trying to get rid of the trio.

Chapter 190 - Here they know the traiters were behind the Loyard massacre but later Seira doesn't even think that Zarga may have played a part until he said it himself so what's the truth.

- Really, Rousare having died should make it obvious that Gejutel wasn't involved and prevent all this. At least Ludis has some sense.

- Ah, time for grandpa's trashtalk.

Chapter 191 - It always drives me insane that Raskreia knows jack shit about Frankenstein and Raizel like she really did not give a fuck about them did she lmao? Oh father has sent clan leaders out on an arrest warrant? Oh father asks me to regularly visit this random stranger who he adores often and wishes for him to be lord? Why would I ever wish to learn more about them? Like queen ily but keep track of important events in Lukedonia even before you're lord please.

- I know Gejutel's just bullshitting but like. The traitors having foresight? Sjjsjsis where? Lagus and Roctis yeah sure I get it. But the rest? Ignes literally experimented on ppl in Lukedonia. Urokai, as much as I love him, is definitely the stupid dumbass of the group. Zarga if he had any foresight would have either just stayed on Lukedonia and chilled as a loner or had a heir who he passed Lontrick on to and left Lukedonia to once again chill as a loner since unlike the others he only disagreed with the new ideals rather than wanting to actively murder someone. As for Gradeus... we know he can use his brain but he really turned it off entirely when deciding to install bloodstones huh? Like if all you want to do is fight than becoming that strong even when you're already the strongest around is not gonna be enjoyable. Well then he went cuckoo so whtever. Ofc I do wonder whether his goal went from enjoying fighting to mere murder before or after he was exposed to bloodstones and the same for him massacring his clan since the options have implications.

- And here we are at the "clan leaders should go into eternal sleep with the lord" bullshit. Like sorry but just cos the good guys are the ones spouting it doesn't mean I'll ever agree with it. Like tf. It makes me think immediately of rulers who had their servants buried alive with them, emperors whose harems were killed upon their deaths, wives set fire upon their husbands funerals, etc. It is interesting ofc that even nobles who are very obviously written as the best race in noblesse have such regressive and cruel practices. Much more fascinating to have humans take inspiration from them for both good and bad after all.

- Grandpa really tried to be mean so Raskreia wouldn't feel bad executing him huh. Not that it worked ofc.

Chapter 192 - It's so funny that Raizel changes his clothes to Lukedonia's black and gold upon entering because like, did he feel like the odd one out or something?

- Darling clan leaders, I'll excuse your ignorance and underestimation of the enemy, but esteemed lord please, you should know better.

- Hilarious that Gejutel saw that the current gen had extremely spotty knowledge due to their predecessors being like that ig but instead of fixing that he essentially went "It's none of my business idc idc" and ignored it until it came back to bite him in the ass. Like at least tell the lord about all this pls. She should know what a noblesse is 😭

Chapter 193 - Rip Karias not finding everyone in the throne room. It's like when a class gets changed last minute and you have no clue which new place it's in.

- Raizel just take the earring off normally I swear. Imagine having only one memento from a friend you actually meant to keep but you just tear it apart. I would cry.

- Gejutel being apologetic about making Raizel use his lifeforce... grandpa,,,

Chapter 194 - The fact that Ludis' eyes glow as he sets up the protection for the sanctuary,,, love him.

- Insert 300 page analysis on Raskreia's relationship with being lord and just her in general here. I'm too lazy to type it out so insecurities, lack of communication, lack of clarity, formality and duty leading to distant relationships, etc etc etc.

Chapter 195 - This is so rude 😤

- God Karias' entrance and interactions with everyone,,, the way he fusses over Raskreia openly, the way Rozaria beckons him over, them,,,

Chaoter 196 - "The clan leaders share my thoughts" obviously not with the traitors. Well Roctis may have agreed but Ignes prevented him from all that. Still, even from the other 4 non traitors of Ru, Elenor, Loyard and Mergas, it's very much possible they disagreed but simply kept quiet about their thoughts because how dare they go against the lord? I mean, the track record isn't exactly great and that's just how it is in these sort of systems.

- Well I definitely think the method he decided on was stupid but I do think mvp lord's sentiment was very sweet. And ofc just how he wants the best for Raizel... it makes me sad everytime like he just wants him to be happy and be able to enjoy life and yet. Just how his message always has him with that soft smile for Raizel as he tells him to live a long joyous life... that he wants him to be safe... that he's happy he's been outlived... gonna go cry brb..

Chapter 197 - Yeah just gonna ignore and replace the misogynistic bs they make mvp lord spout with like "Be wary of men; instead of wasting time beating them up see if you have any interest in women instead. Especially if they're not nobles. Only wear what you're comfortable with and don't let anyone pressure you. Remember to train often with swords or your skills will become rusty. Etc etc etc."

Chapter 198 - At least he has earring number 2 ig

- "This house is a little old and needs some renovation" It's great that you're being tactful but Tao we both know that this estate that hasn't had any upkeep for at least 5 centuries needs a hell lot more than a little fixing.

- M-21 just has his priorities straight okay,,, you all do need to change.

- Why did Tao pack aprons and gloves for the trip?

#noblesse #raining while reading #so it didn't save the first time and i had to go through the entire group of chapters again #hell #volume 3 done

[onghwangs]

now i'm curious! who's your personal top 11 vs what you want the top 11 to be?

Wow okay…my personal top 11 is comprised of ppl I foundenjoyable to watch and have fun cheering for, I’m a sucker for dumb fools and hiddenstorylines so yeah. 

But, man if they put this group together I would screambecause noooomg it would mostly be a comedy troupe than an idol group. theymight as well be called 10gagmen1straightman (10G1S)

(edited for guys in the top 59, in no particular order) 

yoon jisung- I likedhim ever since ep 1. I think that most, if not all of the trainees were chatteringaway during the auditions but I find that he seems to not really censor hismouth. I think a lot of the trainees are very and tense image conscious (theyshould be due to mnet) and Jisung (and the other MMO guys) were more relaxed. He’s funny but not offensive funny…Iremember like when Daehwi was explaining his avengers team, Jisung was likeyeah, go ahead and eat up all the popular members, Dahewi and JKKSJDKSJKJKSTHAT MAN. He seems like a genuinely fun and nice person to be a round, judgingby how he seems close to both his label-mates and his 10/10 group-mates….anyways📢📢📢I LVOETHIS MAN AND THAT ANTI WHO DM’D HIM TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE CAN SRSLY FCUK OFF!!!📢📢📢

kim taemin -  he was so cute in his intro vid but he was sonervous his voice was shaking so much lmao poor thing…. But im fucking….ifthere’s really a meme in this show, it’s taemin…everything they show of him, he’smaking a damn fool of himself. Him screaming in the hiddenbox thing, himfailing to do headstands, him dancing to nayana…yeah I lof the fool!! What reallymade me like him was him acting so surprised and happy when someone called hisname wayyyy back during the first nayana perf. Like….he seemed so amazed to have fans lmao what a gem. He’salso quite photogenic too.

Ong seongwu – THEBEST ALL ROUNDER IMO???????????? He’s a good singer ( hE WAS ONE OF THE 6TRAINEES THAT SANG PICK ME! WITHOUT HIM THERE WOULD BE NO NAYA NA), a great dancer, already has charisma and is hotwhile being complete dork? Amazing. I really adore him and his three moles and I’msuper worried for when the 1-pick voting comes because he doesn’t seem to havea lot of individual fans (someone prove me wrong pls)

Park Jihoon –yeah that wink got me shook. But yeah, srsly speaking, his wink did catch myeye but I thought he was going to be wayyyyyy to cute-ish for my tastes. I wassurprised by the way he carried himself (cute, but not too much, he seems to bevery calm too).  I think he’s skilled butcan improve much more (esp his singing) so I look forward to his improvement!! @mnetI’m still waiting for his angry clip L I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WOULD BUY ALL THELIPBALM HE NEEDS, JUST TELL ME WHAT BRAND U WANT BOY, I”LL GET U A SUPPLY SOBIG THEY’LL OFFER U AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL

Kim Yehyeon – He seemslike a really sweet guy and this story is what basically made me stan him (andgave him that 39+ rank rise) my boy is a fuckin saint he went to the emergencyroom because he was too overworked and he had to perform Be Mine will injured..T_T He did not almost die for no screentime and continuous repeats and zoom-insof ppl gulping….anyways he’s also dumb, you should support 

Lee Junwoo – an actualbaby!!!!!!!! He caught my eye in episode 0 but I totally forgot who he wasuntil I saw his famous TATATA dance. What I liked about him was that he didn’t completelygive up after messing up and he kept on going hard @ the dance (he even made itto a C despite those mistakes!) he’s an awesome dancer and has good expressions!I really look forward to seeing his Shape of You stage (I think) I heard it wassupposed to be real good. I’m also screaming because he looks like a baby is ashuge as an elephant IRL 184CM HOOOLLLLLY

kim yongguk – I gotto know him because of that pann post and I support and adore him so much butnot as much as kim sihyun does!!!!! He’s a pretty nice vocalist and pretty goodsinger..but I think because baekho stole the entire stage, it’s hard to judgehis stage presence,  I really do lookforward to seeing his stage and seeing him be more of a savage!

Ahn hyungseop – Ilove him, he’s such a textbook slyth, he even expressed disappointment ingetting a lower rank than before. I can see why ppl don’t like him (similar todaehwi) but I really do adore him and his quirky ways. While I think he’s agood performer, I do think he would be more a B-rank rather than A. I’m stillnot quite convinced of his singing just yet….

Joo Haknyeon – tbh,I feel like he was born to be an idol with a face like that, I think it has amore idol-ish feel than Jihoon’s. I find that he’s a really decent dancer too!I do wish he had a better audition song…like why’d u choose that song and b-boyto it omf. He seems to be a total sweetheart as well! Hanywayz…..i wanna seemore of his friendship with ong, they seem to be good friends as well Y_Y @mnetGIV EHIM MORE SCREENTIME.

Yoo Seonho – it’sa surprised to me how much I like him?? He’s so cute and harmless lmao. I can totallysee why he was casted, along with guanlin, and sent out despite being only trainees for 6 months. they will super popular in thefuture (if cube doesn’t fuck up). I’m not really expecting much from him, beinga 6 month trainee, but he did surprisingly ok in sorry sorry compared to hisexperience, I’m looking forward to seeing his next stage. He also seems to be agreat guy, judging by his fanaccs and activities.

Yeo Hwanung – he’sa great dancer and stable vocalist, why is he being slepton?????????????????????? He seems super sweet and patient with Justin too likegoing through the notes together…

Notable mentions: everyone else, I fucking love and support all of them!!!!!! I just find these 11 really interesting at the moment.

—

 hennyways……here’s my top final 11 AKA B.O.I. …sorta. I thinkit’ll probably change after the next eps as people come to prove themselvesmore!! But this group, I’ll be pretty comfortable with them debuting and confident that they will be able to handle different concepts, all can carry their weight, etc. (in noparticular order)

Ong Sungwoo – HAHAHAHA iLL SERIOUSLY QUIT THIS GROUP IF ONGDOESN’T GET IN LIKE SRSLY HE’S GOT IT ALL I’m SO FUKCING SCARED OF HIS FUTURE THAT’SHOW MUCH I LOVE HIM???

Kang Daniel – He’s another well rounder. So he seems like areal sweet person but he ( along with Ong ) don’t really seem to take shit fromppl and I like that they speak there mind, though I want him to be careful ofhis actions as well LMAO. He’s also a fuckn miracle worker, my friend went fromdisliking him in ep2 to being a full stan by ep5 so I think he seems to be aperson that would keep fans engaged for a long time.

 Park Jihoon – Yeah, I’m kinda being biased, but he’d doreal well as a stan attractor! He dancing is good and I feel like he’ll improveon his singing soon….okay enough…

Kim Jaehwan – holyyy shit his voice is sooo good. All theguys in sorry sorry team 2 were good, but the dude carried the vocals for histeam, lbr. Im sincerely hoping he pulls up into the final 11, the vocals would get a huge upgrade holy shit son.

 Im Youngmin – alpacaaaaa aaaaaa!! He’s growing on me somuch and seems to be a very kind person, teaching the be mine moves foreveryone. I love that group so much, they seem genuinely close to each other !!  His rapping is good and he seems to be quitecharismatic on stage

Kim Taedong – His jump from F to A holyyyy shit whattaman!!!  His moves are sharp and he’s astable singer, I’m really liking what I’m seeing from him so far. I think he’s real idol material and he seems likea complete dork too, I loff!!!!!!

Yoon Heeseok, lmaoooo he’s also another living meme. He’san excellent singer, I really want him to work on his dancing a bit though but heseems to be improving quite nicely, from F-B. his shoulders are also killer.

Lee Daehwi – Another all-rounder. He doesn’t deserve thehate he gets, I honestly hope he makes it, he has the skills and personality tomake it into the idol world. He’s a sweet boy.

-(wildcards) x 3

 lmao okay I cheated, it’s because I haven’t fully decidedyet….i still wanna see more perfs Lbut here are a list of guys I would love to see in the final line up as well.

Wildcards:

from my personal top 11: jisung, yongguk, hyungseob, hwanung,anyone that shows they’ve got what it takes/improves immensely

vocals: sewoon, hoeseung, woodam, gwanghyun(???), donghyun,dongsu, kiwon, keonhee, seonglee. youjin

rap: woo jinyoung, namhyung, big woojin

dance: hyunmin, eunki, kenta, samuel, kim donghan

nu’est, hotshot members: I’m reallllllllly conflicted inthis. In a perfect world, they don’t make it in the top 11 but their companiesgive them comebacks they need and the make it big and win awards and it’s the perfectcomeback story lmao…but I’ll still be happy with any of them in the line up aswell

wow i’m sorry i wrote too long jdksajd

#asks #anon #this is truly too long im sorry i shortened it lmao #im sorry for typos i'll come back and edit later #produce 101