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#i just wanted to fill in the gaps bc he literally disappeared from the world
pitynostars · 5 months
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ok so first things first, i loooove gatwa's doctor so much already. if nothing else, i love the masterclass in acting he's putting on, his expressiveness is so impressive. he brings a very fun energy to the role
the church on ruby road has me feeling a bit mixed as well. the plot was kind of meh, and i didn't like how in the alternate universe ruby's mum was just so mean without her. it didn't make sense. like what makes ruby so special, hm 🤨 what's this one white blond baby got that all the other babies in the world don't 🤨 i know the point was to show how much ruby meant to her mum, but like. there are other ways to do it than have a complete 180 in characterization.
i'm honestly not super interested in the mystery of ruby's parentage (which apparently seems like it will be a huge thing unless they're just making stuff up to fake us out, in which case, good on them). but i don't want it to be some big reveal i'm sorry 😩 especially not because if it is, people will bend over backwards to say how great storytelling it is when they'd never say that if moffat did a plot like this. i hadn't even considered the possibility really, when i'd first watched it, i thought it's just not that deep, but maybe i'm wrong. the people who are theorizing that ruby is rose and tentoo's daughter are sooo funny though like
ur only saying that because she's blond and we all know nobody on this show can be blond without being related to The Blond(tm) 🙄
that literally means they abandoned their kid. yes. such good parents 😫
i also feel like we didn't....really get to know ruby that well? i'll reserve judgement to give them more time obviously, and millie seems very green (not a judgement on her, and she and ncuti seem to have a lot of fun energy together) so there's still time and there's a lot of time in general for the stories to get going, and it had to do double duty as a christmas special and an intro episode for both new doctor and new companion so like, my feelings may also change with time. anyways those are my thots for now
yesss i was sold on gatwa very quickly i just hope he doesn't become 10th doctor rehash number 2345932853845 i am so tired. give him something new. also praying him and ruby don't have a romance angle there were a couple of moments in CORR i was like. GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT AGAIN.
CORR plot being meh i agreeee but also xmas specials plot is a lot of times like a wafer and as someone who watched it quite roasted ngl i kinda appreciated it 😂
YEAH omhg tho with ruby disappearing and her mum (i want to say carla??) completely changing as a person??? i get that the point was supposed to be like one little change can make such an impact etc etc as well. but also i was just like. .... ok but what about the other kids wasnt good enuf ???? maybe i'm a cynic lol. but fr have another MORE kids on the wall bc she's trying to fill a gap she doesn't know is from what !!!! IMAGINE.... especially with it being sort of set up as a doctor/companions parallel oh my god
nooo oh my god i know what you mean about rubys parents i like that theyre setting it up as a counter to 13s "it doesn't matter i'm good as i am my past doesnt define me" etc. but i really want it to not be interesting. i want her parents to just be like. normal people who had to make a hard choice lol. oh my god. i just realised. we're gonna go thru a fucking rey star wars arc with her im gonna lose it byee... imagine she ends the series like "im ruby doctor" :) i would quit watching.
but yeah 100% it's gonna be a big thing. atm i dont care but i guess we'll see and hope they do something interesting with it.... prayers she's an alien tbf
rose and tentoo would be terrible parents tbf i said what i said.
YEAH i know what you mean i feel like that about gatwa too i think its hard making the first intro for both an xmas special because it has to be kinda silly and rompy so you cant rlly get too into the grit of the characters?? still reserving judgement on them both, but its taken me a while to warm up to like. everyone in dr who since bill--- wait i take that back i loved bel in flux from like her first scene but she's not a doc or companion.
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hahn-dredregrets · 4 years
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Location: Northern Water Tribe Time: After the Siege of the North Playlist: skeletons - keshi SELF-PARA.
aka what happened after Hahn got kicked off the Fire Nation fleet and failed the mission he was leading.
The air was cold, but their stares were even colder, accusatory ice knives homing in on his already battered body. But the coldest thing of all was his own beating heart, slowed to an almost deadly pace: the passion that once burned bright within now snuffed out with a single breath.
He was still clad in the outdated Fire Nation army uniform, now ripped in multiple places, leaving parts of his skin bare to the biting breeze. Yet, he couldn't care less about the shiver that ran down his spine each time the wind blew in his direction, or the way his muscles ached for the warmth of his own home, or even the way he was dredging along the wrecked streets of his home city like an undead just risen. Nothing could push away the blooming self-loathing that had found roots in his mind, telling him just how big of a failure he really was.
Because that was the truth. He had failed. He didn't know what had possessed him when he'd reached Commander Choi (was it Commander Choi?) on that ship hull. Was it complacency? Pride? Foolishness? Or perhaps he had simply wanted an epic battle to be remembered by, to go down in history and be the subject of reverence and awe for generations to come, so his legacy would extend far beyond his mortal frame could. A schoolboy selfishness that really stripped him bare and showed him who he was: a worthless, ordinary boy parading as an extraordinary leader. Whatever it was, he had put months (years, for him) of preparation on the line. And he'd led a dense ball of ice straight into its path, destroying whatever it was that he'd been building for himself with only belated remorse.
News of Yue's quickly made way to his ears, slipping across silent ice sheets to meet him at the ruined walls of his city. It was all that was needed to deal the final blow. It was then that he knew that he had ruined everything. The shockwave of denial reverberated through his entire being, leaving him weak, then the feeling of loss, then sadness and then despair.  At the end of it all, he was a crumpled mess on the floor, face tear-stained, clutching the hems of his clothes like a lifeline. Later on, he would think that there was probably guilt too-- that subconsciously he knew it was his fault that Yue was gone, and that his city was in this state, and that he had let slip his dreams from his grubby grasp.
There was no warm, boisterous welcome that greeted him or his returning party of ten, only solemn murmurs that hung heavy in the damp air. The pieces of cracked, ice floating in the waters only reminded him of his own state. Merely shattered fragments now, once a beautiful whole he would have been proud of.
He resigned. From work, to the life fate seemed to have bestowed on him.
And he spent the first few nights mourning.
As the sadness of the city began to melt away, Hahn heard stories of how The Avatar had saved his city, how his team had helped them emerge victorious over the Fire Nation fleet. How they’d cleaned up after his mess. They celebrated Aang, throwing feasts in his name, and if Hahn was being honest? He grew bitter. They didn’t see how Hahn had to swim for miles after being throw off the boat, how he’d have to literally drag his comrades’ bodies back to safety, how he had to literally push himself to his physical limit just to get on the Fire Nation boat in the first place. They didn’t see the sacrifices he had to make all this time. So yes, he was bitter that he was somehow taken for granted in spite of all that he’d done, while Aang and his team had simply catapulted into glory because fate had determined them to. They didn’t have to fight to the bone, survive by the skin of their teeth like he had to, and he hated it. Hated how life had dealt him a disastrous hand and left him to struggle for himself, only to push him back down when he’d finally risen tall and throw its head back in laughter. Most of all, he hated how he’d only proven everyone else right: he was no hero, merely an ordinary boy with extraordinary dreams.
But as the sun rose on the fifth day and began to bleed orange, igniting the sky with a warm glow, Hahn felt the fire within him rekindle, too.
It’s easy to feel lonely, Hahn thought, when he was alone like this in his home, bathed under the moon’s light. But he’d chosen this life for himself, one of strict regimentation, and perhaps in some sense, alienation. His parents passing had only been months before, but he hadn’t missed them the way he did now. Perhaps the euphoria from anticipating his promotion to tribe chief had shielded him from the heartache of loss, but with his bulwark gone, they came crashing into his battered soul with a strength he only wished he had.
And so, he channeled that pain and anguish, not through intense, physical training, like he would have merely a month ago, but through meditation. He never wanted his emotions to cloud his judgement ever again. So he’d have to learn to control them. Amidst other things, of course.
It wasn’t easy, but nothing on this journey of his had ever been.
Some days he’d lose the thread that bound his emotions to his guiding hands. Other days his body would be curled up on bed, muscles protesting even the slightest of movements because he’d pushed his body a little too far. There were nights where he’d struggled to keep his eyes open for another minute, and he’d wake, bent over his desk, from the light filtering through his window. And living in what was practically self-exile meant he had to struggle with caring for himself, too, with overcooked fish or undercooked plants.
But he got better.
Two years later, when the crack of dawn heralded a new age and the end of the Fire Nation’s tyranny, Hahn knew it was time to leave the bubble that had ensconced and protected him from those he’d hurt the most. He was, in some ways, merely a shell of his past self, homing a new spirit within him, though guided by the same light he’d held on to all these years.
This time, he was ready to earn his redemption, and prove he wasn’t the ordinary boy he was years ago. This time, he’d prove himself worthy of reverence and respect.
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my fic masterlist
decided to do this for my own sake more than anyone else’s because sometimes I have to make sure the idea I get at 3am isn’t one I’ve already written hehe. anyway, a lot of these are on my ao3, but I’m also going to try and track down some of my TuMbLr-eXcLuSiVe fics, too. I’ll update this as often as I remember (so, uhhh–)
In-Progress: Not On A Consistent Updating Schedule Bc Abi is a Mess ™
midst of the mind – Anakin has always had a pretty good understanding of his feelings, even if he's not particularly disciplined in acting on them. But things surrounding the Chancellor seem to be off and Anakin's determined to get to the bottom of it. With a little help from his friends.(or: fix-it ROTS fic where Ani, Obi, and Padmé take down the Chancellor one fake smile and late-night tea party at a time)
evermore – "dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found" within the lives of our favourite space fam. (or: TAYLOR SWIFT LITERALLY OWNS MY SOUL, OKAY?) (unrelated one-shots based on taylor swift songs ha)
filling the gaps – after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)
Obi-Wan & Ahsoka: Best Father-Daughter Duo In The Galaxy According To Me (because let’s be honest...that’s why I’m here) (tagged: #obi & soka)
filling the gaps – *in-progress multi-chapter* after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)
playing catch – Ahsoka finds an old friend on Tatooine and has lots of questions. they cry a lot. obi-wan tells some white lies. they get the hugs they need. (Obi-Wan & Ahsoka reunite on Tatooine)
all too young – during a bout of insomnia while on Onderon, Ahsoka gets some advice and insight about her Master. (or Obi-Wan hears Ahsoka laugh for the first time and they get to have a snuggle and he absolutely spends the entire next day training the rebels trying not to cry thinking about it every dang time he sees her.)
hologram heart-to-hearts – we see Obi-Wan and Ahsoka have a conversation via hologram in the final season of tcw, but what if there had been...more?(three-parter) (basically Obi and Soka keep in touch after she leaves the Order and there’s...a lot of emotions involved)
little love – a sort of follow-up to hologram heart-to hearts; Ahsoka sticks her nose into the wrong Alliance meeting and discovers a certain Jedi is alive and on Tatooine of all places, so she places a long-distance call.
bad days – Ahsoka tries to squeeze out of her Grand Master exactly what happened on Mortis. and, as always, Obi-Wan is powerless to deny her anything, no matter how painful that truth may be.
sleeping with monsters – Ahsoka is having a hard time sleeping after her time on Felucia, so Obi-Wan offers a solution.
chance meeting – Obi-Wan is up late researching for his Master in the archives when a certain sneeze–and pair of big blue eyes–catch his attention.
‘drooping eyelids’ prompt fill – Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have a conversation about attachment while Anakin’s missing. they (plus Anakin) get some platonic cuddles.
‘dancing’ prompt fill – they attend a senatorial gala without Anakin because he’s feeling grumpy grump after deception arc fall-out. Obi realises that there are still things to be thankful for. 
sorrow – Ahsoka feels the full weight of loss as she clutches her Grand Master’s dead body. (deception arc FEELS!!!!)
‘I do not pretend to set people right, but I do see they are often wrong’ prompt fill – *trigger warning: death of children; Obi comforts Ahsoka after they witness an atrocity of the highest order.
the silence between — Ahsoka gets assigned to the 212th as her Master recovers. Unwanted quality time with her Grand Master doesn’t go as planned.
untitled ‘Obi & Ani role reversal au’ ficlet — Padawan Obi-Wan pays a visit to his best pal Ahsoka in the crèche.
‘falling asleep on each other’s shoulder’ prompt fill – the summary says it all. fluff!
'I don’t wanna die’ – Obi-Wan comforts Ahsoka in her pain. *tw: implied major character death
‘I made tea’ – Anakin is off-world so it’s up to Obi-Wan to take care of his sick grand-padawan.
sorry for the soup – post-deception arc. Ahsoka stops by Obi-Wan’s quarters to check-in.
Obi-Wan & Anakin: The Early Years (tagged: #obi & ani)
figuring it out – Anakin learns waking Obi-Wan up can sometimes be a good thing and Obi-Wan learns that maybe everything's going to be okay. (padawan!ani & new dad knight!kenobi)
if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more – Anakin overhears a conversation he wasn’t meant to hear and lashes out in response. lots of hurt is uncovered and Obi-Wan hears some hard truths from his Padawan. angst, angst, angst...but with a hug.
reading lessons – the team takes a trip to the archives to find some reading material. Anakin is adorably insecure.
cold – Obi-Wan and Anakin have their first solo mission, but in typical Kenobi & Skywalker fashion, it does not go as planned. Exasperated Obi-Wan and Won't-Shut-Up Anakin are put to the test by deep space and a completely out-of-fuel ship. (or some more fluff where padawan!ani and new knight!kenobi get to try and figure out how the heck this master-padawan thing WORKS. hint: it's not easy!)
playing hooky – angel baby Anakin breaks Obi-Wan's heart and it's not for the last time...womp wooooomp.
like you – sweet, angel baby Ani gives himself a haircut and Obi-Wan deals with the aftermath. (I’m copying and pasting most of these summaries directly from ao3 and cracking up because I called Anakin a sweet angel baby in two in a ROW hahah)
fun? – the Jedi Council gives Obi-Wan his newest orders as a young Jedi Knight and he struggles to understand them. he was instructed to take his new Padawan and...have...fun?
go away/please stay – Obi-Wan has been disappearing for solo missions more and more often and Anakin's starting to wonder if it's more than just on request of the Council. (or: can you say TEEN ANGST!)
‘forehead kisses’ prompt fill – Anakin stumbles upon his Master having quite the nightmare, so he handles it the way his mom always handled his own nightmares. with patience and affection.
unnamed NAP TIME fic – Obi-Wan gets home from a solo mission early to find his bed occupied.
‘sweets’ prompt fill – Anakin gets a little ambitious with his choco-ball indulgence.
‘fuzzy socks’ prompt fill – years after arriving at the Temple, Anakin still hasn’t quite adjusted to the cold. Obi-Wan gets him a gift to help. (really just an excuse for some obi ani banter)
‘snowball fight’ prompt fill – Anakin takes his boredom to the next level, much to his Master’s chagrin.
untitled Anakin sickfic bc I’m not feeling very creative right now – the team goes on a mission but Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan is ultimate mother hen and Anakin makes an observation.
got germs – sickficlet where both of our best boys are sick.
you’re okay – just some classic protective parent!Obi-Wan and teenaged son!Anakin post disaster.
‘you lied to me’ – angstpril day 13. Anakin really wants to go to Ilum and make his lightsaber...but is met with disappointment.
random sickfic – because we all know Anakin is the most annoying sick person in the world.
don’t struggle – the ship is crashing, as usual. but this time, Anakin’s seatbelt is stuck. *tw: implied major character deaths
relic – sith!Obi au. *tw: major character death
aspectabund – Anakin’s eyes betray him and his Master.
Obi-Wan & Anakin: Brotp But Also Idiots Who Don’t Know How To Communicate (still tagged #obi & ani)
define ‘attachment’ – while the dads esteemed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker wait for Ahsoka to wake up, they talk about attachment, worry, and that time Ani caused an accidental security breech at the Temple.
favourites – Obi-Wan has been tasked with telling Anakin of his special assignment to keep an eye on the Chancellor, but he gets sappy and sentimental in the process because these conversations are hard.
after all these years – Obi-Wan tries to talk to Anakin, but it doesn't go well. does this sound familiar OR WHAT? (post-decpetion arc angst)
brilliant – Anakin is having a difficult time adjusting to his new mechno-arm for one very specific reason. (the boys communicate properly in this one and even get a hug as a treat!)
sober words said aloud – Anakin's meeting with the Council is interrupted by his highly intoxicated–and wildly affectionate–Master. (crack fic turned fluff)
‘you’ve been crying, I can tell’ prompt fill – Anakin makes the mistake of checking in on his Master after a particularly grueling mission. it doesn’t go well. (or: Obi-Wan loses his sh!t)
going somewhere? – Obi-Wan catches Anakin on his way out for a midnight rendezvous with a certain Senator. Anakin makes a quick decision and chooses Obi-Wan. sweet words are exchanged on a sentimental walk.
shaking hands – in the immediate wake of Ahsoka’s departure form the order, Anakin...isn’t okay. Obi-Wan tries to do something about it. (post S5 angst)
untitled platonic tired cuddles/back scratching fic – Anakin resorts to an old tactic to make his Master rest.
sun shine on – Obi-Wan and Anakin take a little trip to Tatooine to visit Shmi’s grave. (post-ROTS fix-it au of sorts)
pushing it too far — Obi-Wan calls Anakin for some help when he takes ‘intel’ too seriously and ends up drunk on a street in lower-level Coruscant.
whump prompt fill – Obi-Wan looks after Anakin after a near-miss. They talk.
‘was it another premonition?’ – Obi-Wan dreams of Luke. He wakes up to Anakin.
post-mortis angst – Anakin remembers. *tw: implied suicidal thoughts
angstpril: ‘you have to let me go’ – Anakin and Obi-Wan are stuck in a pit. only one of them can make it out alive. *tw: implied major character death
role model – post-deception angst. Obi and Ani talk. it doesn’t go well.
here either way – conversations about mental health. *tw: panic attack
hiraeth – Obi-Wan walks alone. *post ROTS
Anakin & Ahsoka: Dream Team Sharing One Single Brain Cell (tagged: #snips & skyguy or (for the really angsty) #its crying about snips & skyguy hours)
that one person – (my first fic!) Anakin gets assigned to lecture a class of younglings, but he's not the only one who doesn't want to be there.or Ahsoka Tano is done with Jedi sh!t and tries to leave, but this time it's just a classroom and not the entire Order and there's a lot less tears and pain.
define ‘attachment’ – while the dads esteemed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker wait for Ahsoka to wake up, they talk about attachment, worry, and that time Ani caused an accidental security breech at the Temple.
here and now – the Force has tried to swallow Ahsoka Tano three times. it's hard to be the last one standing. (or Ahsoka feels the death of three important men in her life and is tired of being left behind) *tw: major character deaths (canon compliant and not depicted, only mentioned)
whumptober: crying – Anakin comforts a distraught Ahsoka after her disaster mission over Ryloth.
reaching out – Anakin is always there...until he’s not. Ahsoka reflects on how different it is fighting and living without Anakin at her side. (angst)
help would come  – Anakin and Ahsoka get stuck on an ice planet and things get dire. I chalked this full of parallels to the final conversation between Ani and Luke bc I love pain, I guess?
whump: ‘i’ve got you’ –  Anakin pulls Ahsoka from a nightmare.
zen!Anakin ficlet — Ahsoka visits Anakin in his new job as Galaxy’s #1 Dad (well Plo Koon still exists so maybe #1.5?).
right as rain – Ahsoka insists she is fine when she is distinctly not.
snoozeville – Anakin and a few boys of the 501st find their Commander catching some extra z’s.
stitching up – Ahsoka performs some in-the-moment surgery for Anakin and he tries not to scream. *tw: field surgery
‘platonic spooning’ prompt fill – do I need a summary after that?
sad hours: dancing – Anakin and Ahsoka dance in the aftermath of tragedy.
rainy ending given to a perfect day – Anakin and Ahsoka take a trip into downtown Coruscant. 
Anakin and Padmé: Abi Tries and fails To Write Romance (tagged: #anidala)
not enough – Anakin has a hard time with the Mortis fall-out. Padmé doesn’t know how to help someone who doesn’t want it. some painful connections between Ahsoka and Shmi are made. (angst, no happy ending, trouble in paradise)
I will not have this baby in a jail cell – some fluff, some crack, some Anakin-being-so-proud-of-his-badass-wife.
marcid – domestic fluff in which Padmé almost shoots him. ha. oops!
rubatosis – angsty anidala hours. Anakin can’t go to sleep. 
Obi-Wan and Satine: Abi Tries and fails some more To Write Romance (tagged #obitine)
don’t go – Obi-Wan makes a choice. *year on the run timeline
that’s mine – some happiness AU obitine. waking up next to each other. laughing. all the sappy stuff.
accidental keldabe kiss – all the ridiculous tropes I love with our favourite pining idiots. it’s the ‘kiss me so they don’t see us!’ trope!!!! *year on the run timeline
you’re shaking – Satine knows Obi-Wan more than he’d like. *year on the run
Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex, Padmé: Space Found Family In Whatever Form It Comes
here and now – the Force has tried to swallow Ahsoka Tano three times. it's hard to be the last one standing. (or Ahsoka feels the death of three important men in her life and is tired of being left behind) *tw: major character deaths (canon compliant and not depicted, only mentioned)
i want your midnights – the gang attends a New Year's banquet (read: party) and Padmé surprises them all with her midnight kiss.
evermore – "dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found" within the lives of our favourite space fam. (or: TAYLOR SWIFT LITERALLY OWNS MY SOUL, OKAY?) (unrelated one-shots based on taylor swift songs ha)
flair for dramatics – when the gang gets their ship stranded on a desert planet, Anakin and Ahsoka get creative as they try to keep spirits up and minds off the sweltering heat. Obi-Wan questions his sanity. (crack fic turned fluff)
nothing a cup of tea can’t fix – when Anakin shows up to Obi-Wan's quarters in the middle of the night, the Jedi Master knows something has gone awry. answering Anakin's desperate cry for help, Obi-Wan is reminded of how very, very prone to dramatics his former Padawan and Grand Padawan are. (or: Ahsoka gets sick and Anakin flips his shit.) (sickfic)
in the sandstorm – when Tatooine's weather takes a turn for the worst, Ben Kenobi finds a young boy in need of shelter and some lessons on how wonderful his dad had been. (luke and obi-wan hurt/comfort)
remembering hurts – Rex and Ahsoka strive to survive on the snowy moon in the days after Order 66. tensions are high and emotions are volatile.
balter – disaster trio dances at a senatorial ball.
reunion – au where Anakin doesn’t completely turn to the dark side but everything up to and including Mustafar (except for the last like...five minutes) happens. Padmé has the twins, Obi-Wan is overwhelmed, Anakin is a mess. they’re happy...or at least, they will be soon.
‘cookies’ prompt fill – disaster trio makes cookies for the crechelings for Life Day. (just fluff and banter)
first ever codywan! – Cody does some bedside vigil for a hurt Obi-Wan. :’)
transponster – disaster trio is tired and delusional. Rex and Cody want Jedi to have some kriffing self-preservation.
one final salute — Obi-Wan and Cody get trapped. Obi-Wan’s luck is running out. (angst? angst.)
codywan whump – Cody saves Obi-Wan’s life. again. (more fluff than whump)
girls’ night – Ahsoka hangs out with her mom pal Padmé.
driving lessons – Obi-Wan and Anakin teach Ahsoka to drive. ha.
affectionate obi – the kids get Obi-Wan a puppy. fluff!
sorry I don’t speak idiot – Rex and Fives deal with a drunk Echo :’)
post deception disaster trio sadness – Ahsoka tries to keep Obi-Wan company in the aftermath of Rako Hardeen...but Anakin isn’t playing nice.
verklempt – Ahsoka and Yoda talk about being chosen. and Ahsoka finds out maybe she hasn’t been left behind afterall. *pre-TCW
apricity – disaster trio have a picnic at the temple! just pure fluff.
pyrrhic – codywan but make it angsty. some battles are won at too great a cost.
disaster trio sickfic – two Jedi dads and their (sick) daughter :’)
‘you’ve been here this whole time?’ – newlyweds anidala (but shh, Obi-Wan doesn’t know that! yes he does, everyone does.) are there when Obi-Wan wakes up and he ownders just what he did to get so lucky.
Febuwhump 2021: A Foray into Hurting the Characters I Love the Most 
mind control – Anakin’s narrative as he fights Ahsoka on Mortis. sad boy hours. a lot of insecurity happening here.
‘I can’t take this anymore’ – during the Obitine (plus third-wheel Qui-Gon) year on the run, Satine gets tired of Obi-Wan trying to die for her. a bit hurt/comfort, a lot sappy.
imprisonment – on their first mission together, Obi & Ani get captured. Anakin learns how Obi-Wan feels about tight spaces.
coma – post deception arc. Obi-Wan goes into a coma after a particularly intense conversation with Anakin. Anakin tells Obi’s unconscious body how he’s feeling. angst, angst, angst. there’s your warning.
‘take me instead’ – Anakin escorts Padmé on a diplomatic mission but things get dicey and quick decisions must be made. Anakin isn’t the only one in this relationship willing to be an idiot for the sake of *love.* (or: another attempt to write Anidala in a convincing way because they give me a tough! time! so this time make it...dangerous)
insomnia – Anakin overhears a late night holo-call and learns that his Master has a...friend that is a girl???? and is pretty???? but also that his Master may need some fixing and he thinks he may just be the nine-year-old for the job.
poisoning – Ahsoka gets drugged and Anakin gets...er...angry. (read: dark)
‘hey, hey, this is no time to sleep’ – as Ahsoka and Anakin wait for help, Anakin tells a story. an ancient monster in the heart of Tatooine...waiting for it's day of reckoning. (or: Ahsoka gets dehydrated and Anakin can't deny his hurting sister/padawan anything so he talks a little bit about home.)
buried alive – Anakin reflects on some things as his Padawan tries to rescue him from the rubble. angst!!!!!!!!!
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know’ – the Council loses a planet and Obi & Ani get tasked with finding it, but after nine hyperspace jumps and a painful discovery, Obi-Wan teaches his former Padawan one more lesson. (or: the boys talk about failure and feelings when Obi-Wan finds out Anakin's mechno-arm has been causing pain for a couple years)
hallucinations – Ahsoka tries to fix things. it doesn’t work. (post-order 66) angst 
‘who are you?’ – Anakin and Ahsoka rescue Obi-Wan, but things aren’t okay and Obi-Wan doesn’t recognise Anakin. (or: Obi is tortured for information about the fall of the Republic before it happens and goes a bit mad bc of it)
‘I didn’t mean it’ – Obi-Wan learns how cold and unfeeling his young Padawan thinks he is and has a rough day. angst
burned – Anakin mourns the loss of his Padawan in a tactile way. Obi-Wan watches. (or: Anakin throws Ahsoka’s Padawan beads into a fire)
‘I wish I have never given you a chance’ – Obi-Wan is reminded of his own incompetence through a vision form his old master.
you have to let me go – Ahsoka has one heirloom: a hologram of her old master as a padawan. but it’s time to let the past go and step into the future, with help from an old friend.
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vexedtonightmares · 4 years
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hey :) do you mind sharing some more about the skam austin panel today?
yeah for sure!! i’ll put what i remember under the keep reading tab for ppl who wanna hear about it :) i only went to the panel, not the rewatch (bc money lmao) so there are probably some other things they talked about that i missed, but i’m sure there are other ppl on here that can fill you in on any gaps that i miss!
it was valeria (jo), julie (megan), and lakeisha* (shay), and pedro (p jo) on the panel (he was the moderator, the other three did most of the talking), though they did mention other castmates throughout :,) 
*lakeisha was the name they went by on the panel, and in the info before the panel it said they use they/them pronouns, so that’s how i’ll be referring to them throughout this 
all of them started out by talking about what they’re doing currently, julie said she’s dropping out of school because her therapist told her “you as a person matters more than you as a student” which i thought was a great sentiment as well 
lakeisha said they’ve been making a lot of clothes and music (also throughout the whole thing they kept showing us their shoes and they left to pee like halfway through something they were answering one time hfjskaj)
they then talked about their audition processes (val had the most chaotic series of audtions omg i would love to see her audition tapes)
val originally read for either jo or megan, and she had literally just moved there like right before casting and almost didn’t go to her audition
she said that she decided to be the loudest person in the room so that they couldn’t ignore her, and that carried her through most of the rounds of auditioning
she said that at the end she said “if you don’t choose me, which you should choose me, but if you don’t, please choose another latinx actress because you have no idea how much it means to see someone who looks like you on screen”
julie auditioned because she was hoping julie (andem) would bring lisa and tarjei and she basically wanted a free meet and greet djkfshk 
she found out about skam og on tumblr !! she’s one of us 😌 
she thinks julie andem is the coolest person in the world 
they told her that she was pretty much everything they envisioned megan to be, so they cast her fairly early on and then had her partner with the marlon prospects 
giovanni, who eventually played tyler, auditioned for marlon and they kissed during their audition even though they weren’t supposed to
julie went to high school with till who ended up playing marlon and people would always ask her what it was like to get to make out with him and she was just like .... we just working bruh
lakeisha found the ad to audition on instagram and decided why not because it said it was a paid job 
they looked up a bunch of improv games the night before because they had no experience and had no idea what they were doing
in the audition julie asked what the tattoos on their hand meant (and also the one thing lakeisha was excited about being out of contract was that they could get as many tattoos as they wanted without asking for permission)
they all had a lot of love for julie andem and loved working with her
val said that she’d always try to make julie laugh and she said that julie is the reason og and austin are so good, because it’s her story and her vision 
they roasted the shit out of fb too (as they should)
basically fb ghosted them and never renewed the show but also never cancelled it so technically they don’t even know if anyone else could get the rights to reboot the show somewhere else (lakeisha said ‘skam austin onlyfans’ lmao)
i don’t remember which one of them said it but they said fb is like an inconsistent dad lollll
they also think that fb sort of finessed julie/her team because they were under the impression that it would be like og where they had their own website for the show and everything, but then it ended up just being a facebook page
they also filmed promo for season 1 that never ended up being used but they don’t know why 
lakeisha felt super disrespected by the fact that not only did they not get their season, but also the fact that they just dropped the show like it was nothing and none of them even found out that they probably weren’t getting more seasons until they saw that their instagram accounts were gone
everyone was upset about the igs getting deleted too because they put so much work into the content on there for it all to just disappear 
val said “no one tells a story like the one that was about to be told” and everyone agreed
val said that if the show would have continued, jo would have been undocumented and they would have shown her trying to navigate college (not only were we robbed of a jo season, we were robbed of college seasons 😤)
jo x jo were definitely going to be a thing
val said that when they wrapped s2 she was like finally!!! because now they could get into the stories that they really wanted to tell and really knew would make a difference (everyone vehemently agreed)
they were proud of the fact that they’re the most diverse cast and that they don’t just treat the characters of color like sidekicks like the other remakes do
julie talked about how skam france was the only remake to have jonas not accept isak right away when he was coming out and how it was suspicious that he happened to be the only non white jonas and that was the choice they made
val said that druck is the only remake she’s watched but she likes it
they also talked about how, even though it’s great that the cast was so diverse, practically everyone behind the scenes was white
val said that she didn’t really think about it much at the time because she found it hard to speak up since she was very young and inexperienced but looking back she wishes jo’s body wasn’t so fetishized as a latina (she didn’t clarify whether she was talking on a production level or within the fandom, but she talked about costuming so i assumed she meant more on a production level)
they all wished there was more representation off screen as well as on
shay x megan was brought up and julie said that shay was going to have her own love interest (am!even !!!!) come season three, and that it wouldn’t have been megan 
she also said that megan was mostly just confused and like ‘haha i kiss girls when i’m drunk’ but then she also said that megan and shay never had feelings for each other at the same time so 👀 
she was upset that they made megan and marlon get back together at the end of season 2 because she wasn’t a fan of them together, but she said it also makes sense because a lot of teen girls go back to their toxic exes even when they know it’s not good for them
lakeisha said that they hated shay’s acrylic nails because it didn’t make sense to them for her to have them (especially since shay was a musician)
they also said that they’ve been pretty confident and open with their sexuality since they were around 12, and that one time in middle school they dated a boy because he had an xbox and then they were like oh no is this toxic am i using him because he actually has feelings for me?? hdskafja 
they also said that the cfgc music happened because they heard that the boys from og also had a song and at first i was like wtf are they talking about but now i think they meant the penetrator song 💀💀 
julie has a cfgc shirt :,) and they all stole a bunch of clothes and stuff from set, val said she took a bunch of outfits that jo never wore which makes her sad to think about now 
val’s favorite scene to film was the car scene in s1 before the party (she said it was one of the best moments of her life) and julie said she liked that one as well (val said there’s a shot of her looking into the camera and flipping it off but they didn’t include it in the show, i feel robbed)
people asked how it felt for lakeisha to be the first lesbian isak and they said that they didn’t feel like they were, because they didn’t really get the chance :(( but they also said that the idea itself was very intimidating and there was a lot of pressure around it
they also said that they and gio were very very close both on screen and off, they said it wasn’t even like they were an extension of one person, that’s how close they got
there were a lot of improvised scenes, particularly with val, and she also said that incorporating spanish into jo’s dialogue was mostly improvised 
julie, val, and pedro also all talked about how they’re all mexican, and how each of their life experiences vary so much from one another, on the show and off and julie said megan’s upbringing was a lot like hers 
they all also said that they liked the music the show used and a lot of them have emotional attachments to a lot of the songs 
val said she wishes they used more frank ocean and i agree 
they also said they’re not sure if there are bloopers or anything, but they’d love to see them if there are 
i’m trying to think of anything i missed ahhh i feel like they talked about so much but i think i’ve got the key points soooo
that’s all !!! hope this was interesting to ppl who still care about austin like i do :,))
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s-n-a-k-e-p-i-t · 4 years
Text
draco x hermione // love is blind
inspired by @raspberrykiss28 post. I just saw that and I was like wow a beautiful story, I must attempt. I tried what can I say. 
ps. sorry for mistakes bc yet again i am tipsy. no one beta’d this, but no one ever does when I drink because I like my raw writing... okay here we go 
- - - - - - - - - -
They were on the edge of the forest, someone had attacked her and he had jumped in. It was still. It was calm. Their heaving breathing, from a duel with some wizard far beyond their years, was the only thing filling the gaps of silence. In a small matter of seconds, he had reached for her, begging her to come into his arms, to meld their bodies into the safety of one another, to feel that moment of relief, similar to what they had found in one another in the weeks leading up to this. And just when they thought they had defeated who they thought was the last foe in their wake. And just as they realized it was over. And just as their fingers brushed, desperately grasping for one another, she saw it. 
She watched as the curse.... dark, unforgiving, and cold, left a wand and she witnessed the second it hit his cool, dark eyes and in that moment, in that very second, she knew the cold hard truth of the matter. His hand retracted and searched for a hold, for an anchor, for anything that would tether him to this world and confirm it was all in his head. 
But it wasn’t. And the realization flooded her face much more quickly than it did his. And she knew.  In that moment, despite the glow of the moon, and the lights of the castle, that he would not find her. 
She blinked as he fumbled, falling to the ground. 
“G-Granger, are you there?”
She panicked and thought the worst. But she was the Golden Girl, able to overcome anything. And despite her emotions flying and the chaos surrounding them, she packed all the negativity away in the depths of her mind. Shoveling those worries under anything she could think of; the years and years of lucky get aways and somehow overcoming the worst. And she hoped for a moment that Harry’s luck had rubbed off on her, and that what was in front of her wasn’t the truth. 
His cold hands reached for hers desperately, connecting in a whirlwind of sensations, his pulse racing. She tried not to give her hopes up, that it was just a situational thing, like all the moments they had spent in the towers, losing themselves from the reality of what was coming. 
“Granger, I can’t,” his voice cracked as his hand squeezed hers, “I can’t see.”
The pain in his voice hit her like a train, knocking the breath out of her, she had never known him to be so emotional. She gasped and he heard it, his face crumbling along with his body. And he held her there, arms wrapped around her middle, on his knees as his body shook. 
“Granger, I-”
“It’s okay,” she said, her voice pulling him back as his head followed the sound of her voice. He fell into her even more, and his legs gave way.
And despite her need to comfort him in that moment, to be there for him, to kiss away the tears on his pale, thin cheeks, she knew she had to act quickly. Whether it was a moment of desperation or not. 
“Malfoy, you need to stand up,” she whispered, her voice strong, surprising her. She looked down at Draco Malfoy, on his knees, holding her like she was the last thing that kept him in this world and her heart skipped a beat. But she knew what she had to do. 
His shoulders hunched and she could feel the panic in him rising. 
“Malfoy, I need you to stand up and make it to the apparition point, I can,” she stumbled over her words, “I think I can help you, but I need you to help me get you somewhere safe.”
His shoulders bobbed against her hips. He shuddered and she could imagine his eyes searching for something, anything that could confirm his sight was intact.
“Draco,” she said lifting his chin, her voice steady, “I need you to trust me.”
He raised his head to hers, but his eyes were shut. But even in his features, she could see his honesty. 
“Please, Hermione, I wouldn’t trust anyone else.”
The confession blossomed a strength inside her she hadn’t known, not recently at least, and she pulled him to his feet. They hobbled off into the darkness and with a snap they disappeared. 
- - - -
ONE WEEK LATER
- - - - 
Hermione had been scouring books for days and Draco had reminded her, but as time went on he let off much to her surprise. His snarky comments had turned into words of encouragement, something she didn’t know she needed from him.
And when she wasn’t looking over potions and counter spells and he wasn’t nagging her to hurry up, she was tending to him in a safe house of the Order that had been long abandoned before the war had started. She had learned his favorite way to take tea; no milk, three sugars. She had learned that he liked when she left the window open, to allow the calming sensations of the sea drift into the cabin. She learned that he had quite the brilliant mind when it came to suggestions for reversals. Not that she hadn’t noticed his mind before, but now, it seemed to awaken something she had never quite seen before. And he had noticed that she liked listening to classic piano melodies at night even though she never spoke to him after ‘work’ was over, that he knew she was always coming into the room based on the way the energy shifted around him, that she liked the morning stillness of being up before the world until he had to stir and disturb her, only to sit peacefully beside her and enjoy it too.
And when things became too much for her, that was when she returned to her books. 
Scanning each page three times over, four if she thought she had an inkling of a solution. But nothing had been sufficient. Yet.
But then she began spending evenings with him. A cup of tea in both of their hands, sharing stories about their childhoods, something she never imagined would have come from forbidden kisses in high towers and glances across the classrooms. He was a person who had gone through hell much like she had. And she could see it.. Not in his eyes, but the way his hands shook and the way his brow furrowed as he retold certain events. He also apologized for much of the pain he had inflicted on her and she returned that by not apologizing for nearly knocking his teeth out third year. They had laughed about that.
And sometimes he would ask about her. What her parents did for a living, how she felt her first year at Hogwarts, even how she had felt in the months prior to their secretive meetings.
They were facing one another on the couch, legs crossed, their tea growing cold when he asked.
“Do you ever see me in your future,” he asked one night, as they nibbled on cookies she had whisked up as a companion to their cups. 
“Malfoy, I-” she didn’t know how to finish the statement. 
“In any capacity,” he added.
“Malfoy...” She started hesitantly, not wanting to crush his spirits nor wanting to give into him. She knew who he was, what he believed in, more so what he had believed in. And for the month or so they had been together, she had known it was always an act of rebellion, a way to feel something. And yet, she had always hoped it was something more. And now, sitting here across from him, spilling their darkest secrets and stories, she thought that maybe, he had felt the same. But she couldn’t risk it. Not now. She had to stay focused.
At her silence, he moved away from her, cowering on the edge of the sofa in a way she might’ve imagined him as a child, but never at the current moment. 
“It’s fine.” He snarled.
But despite her will, something in her pushed her forward while also tickling the back of her brain. 
“Malfoy, no,” she paused, mustering up the courage, “Draco,” he perked up, “I have alw-”
That’s it.
Her mind lit up, the idea flying to the front of her thoughts, sparks flying from every direction, slamming into her imagination. She darted from the couch, despite the disappointed sigh he released. She threw a book open, searching the index, finding the page, and there it was. A healing potion and a sprinkle of muggle belief. 
She grabbed her cauldron and began adding the ingredients. 
“Granger,” he moaned, “I swear to literally anyone if you make me drink another nauseating concoction I will hex you into next year.”
“Shut up,” she snapped back. She reached into her bag and pulled out a series of vials. A healing potion, she thought, a healing potion with-
She rushed into the kitchen and Draco sat up, feeling the air shift as she left the cozy living room. 
She raced back to the table and began cutting, carving, and finally waving her wand over the thick brew in front of her. 
“I’m not positive, but it’s an old Muggle belief,” she whispered, praying to everything that it would work. 
She scooped the pale orange potion into a vial and hesitantly brought it to him. She bit her lip and she raised his hand to hers, passing it off before her fingers could linger too much. 
“Drink it,” she pleaded.
He slowly brought the vial to his lips, fumbling slightly as he searched for his own mouth. She watched, nervously, as he took it down. He licked his lips and his head turned expectantly to her. 
“How do you feel?” She asked, her heart in her throat. 
“Like I did two minutes ago, he answered, and her stomach dropped as she waved her hand in front of his face, “Though, this didn’t taste nearly as bad as I thought it would.” 
“I’m rolling my eyes,” she said with a scoff and stormed off back to her book, back to the drawing board it was. 
“Happy I don’t have to see it!” He called after her.
She continued reading on and on and on and on. Her eyes straining as she struggled to stay awake. She had been so sure that she had found a solution. So positive it would make a difference and yet again she had failed him. She felt her heart sink. She was feeling less and less confident in her skills the more she failed. Her heart began to race and she struggled to control her breathing. When suddenly...
A hand on her shoulder. It made her jump. Draco had been relatively quite making his way over to her, in a way he hadn’t moved since before this. She whipped her head around to see his eyes boring into hers. She was speechless.
“Hermione,” he said, using her first name for the first time since that moment in the forest. “I see you in mine.”
“Draco-” she whispered, her voice cracking and getting the best of her. She quickly stood up, brushing her hair from her face and then grabbing his. His eyes followed her every movement. She gasped. 
“Can you-”
“Yes,” he said, brushing a straying hair from her face. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Her body shuddered. 
“I can see you now,” he nearly cried, his face painted with an emotion she had never seen him wear. Perhaps he even smiled. It must’ve been minutes before she finally gathered the strength to pull away, her doubt getting the best of her that he would leave, now that she had fixed him. That he would run away. Never to be heard from again.
“Draco-”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
A first for Draco Malfoy. He buried his face into her neck and held her. 
“Now that I can,” he started, “I can see you in my future, in any capacity.”
She pulled his face to hers. 
“So can I.”
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