#i realise my standards for myself are insanely fucking high so i could release this chapter feeling ass abt a couple scenes

[sorikkung]

wgoin enjoyers wya. [rattles you around like a jar of marbles]

#i know its literally almost been a year and im so sorry #2023 was literally me speedrunning all the Canon Youth Events™ i missed bc i was too busy being depressed. like making friends #among other things. LMFAO. #twas a bit insane #things r normalising now tho #and this fucking chapter #that has been HAUNTING ME FOR THE WHOLE YEAR #is finally nearing completion #it might not be good. #well. some parts of it i really like actually #but the smut scene got edited so many times then changed entirely bc i fucking gave up dude i cannot anymore #now im just committing to what ive got even if i dont like it anymore i just need this chapter fucking POSTED n GONE #i realise my standards for myself are insanely fucking high so i could release this chapter feeling ass abt a couple scenes #n yall will probably not thing its any worse than the rest of it #thing is i write this more for Me than anyone else which is the problem but fuck it Me wants this chapter Finished so i can move on lmfaooo #HOPEFULLY i can finish it within the week #no promises tho lmfao #mischiefing time #what goes on in neverland

[baekhyub]

It’s different - Mark Lee

warnings : car sex, fluff

Alternative Universe Mark Lee Best Friends To Lovers AU!

You and Mark had always been good friends ever since you’d met . You made him when you first joined high school and from then you instantly clicked when you began talking to him as he was the locker next to you

Not to be mean or anything but mark and I have always been at different “social standards” as people awfully would call these days and all my friends would tease me for hanging out with him even though I loved hanging out with Mark more than anyone in the world

He knows everything about me

He knows what i like

He knows what I love

What’s my favourite food

My favourite show

My favourite movie

My favourite words

Basically everything we get each other and i love it but no one else understands it usually calling us a “weird pairing”

I remember when we turned 16 we would always go to the drive in movie theatre and it was so cute but I remember the first time I was really nervous , do I cuddle him ? Or not , do we share snacks or not? Is that just a couple thing

I always turned away the idea that I ever had a crush on mark but I only realised it when he wasn’t around me anymore

We graduated school and promised to talk to each other every day

We went to two different universities in two different places

Sure we talked for a few days but soon after everything stopped

No texts

No FaceTime

No phone calls

No meet ups

That was it

A few months back I tried texting him but someone replied saying they didn’t know who I was and I found out he’d changed his number

I tried to find him on Instagram but i can’t

So I eventually gave up and officially got not so much mad but quite upset at the fact he done that to me

-

The next week i decide to take a trip back home and I’ve never been more excited to see my family I haven’t seen them in so long being away in a different country for uni

When I arrive I greet everyone and it really truly does feel like home

I decide to hop in my car and drive round the neighbourhood

As I’m driving I lose track of where I am and as I look around I realise I’m in marks street where he lived I notice all the houses and trees in the exact spot from when I used to come to visit mark usually taking the bus and finally I reach marks house . I stop outside and look for a minute reminiscing the past and how much fun we would have together for basically nothing I start to tear up but quickly wipe away my tears , why am I so affected by this he’s just a stupid boy

When I am getting ready to drive away that’s when I see him

He walks out his house

He has blonde hair now he must of dyed it

He’s wearing a shirt with a black denim jacket and black ripped jeans with a nice pair of boots but where is his glasses he would always wear ?

He looks good he looks really good, better than I remember

I’m considering going out to see him

Is that weird ?

We haven’t spoke in a very long time

Does he even remember me ?

And he walks back in his house after getting something out his car

I decide I’m gonna do this what’s the worst that could happen , we’re older now and more mature

I park my car and I nervously step out

I come to his fence and pause for a second contemplating if I should really do this

I decide yes just do it

I open the gate and walk up the steps and finally I am on his porch for the first time in 5 years

I knock the door and I stand there nervously

fumbling with my own hands and then becoming sweaty out of my nerves

I feel my heart beat out of my chest as I hear him walking towards the door

He opens it rather quickly and then looks at me for a second and then goes

“Y/N OH MY GOD HI”

He practically shouts before leaning in to give me a hug

I hesitate for a second before deciding to hug him back

“I’ve not seen you in forever Mark”

“Yeah i know it’s been a long long time”

“You changed your number” I asked with a slight show of annoyance in my voice making sure he would understand

“Oh yeah sorry I got a new contract for my phone and everything and I couldn’t message you any way to tell you I had a new number so sorry”

“I was really hurt about that you know”

“y/n I’m so sorry, please let me make it up to you”

“how can you make up ignoring someone for 5 years”

“You’re right thats not forgivable” he pauses for a minute, the air silent and things starting to be awkward

until he finally speaks up again

“Wanna go see a movie”

“At the drive in” ?

“Yes at the drive in”

“It’s still open”?

“Yes I actually checked yesterday that’s when i got back”

“You checked why”

“Just to remember old times you know”

“I get you”

“So tonight for the movie”

“Yes that sounds great”

“I’ll pick you up later”

“See you”

I rushed to my car I was excited? nervous? kinda scared? I don’t know how I feel I have mixed emotions right now

-

It was finally later on in the evening and Mark should be coming to pick me up soon

I wore a pair of leggings and an oversized jumper with some trainers but did my makeup nice

Just as I finished applying my lipgloss I heard a knock on my door...it must be him

I quickly grab my bag and head to the door

“Hey”

“Hey y/n you look nice”

“Oh it’s nothing”

I closed and locked the door behind me and I got into his car which was definitely upgraded from when what he would drive when we were in high school

we arrived at the drive in still as busy as ever and parked in our spot, it was a horror movie, Mark and I’s favourite

he reclined the chairs back and we sat down together in the back seat feat up on the chairs in front

We already brought snacks from both sides and had them placed in front of us

As the movie began me and mark didn’t really talk

Both of us definitely too nervous to speak

But I decided to crack the ice

“Feels weird doesn’t it”

“Yeah it does, feels like yesterday we were 16, I miss those days”

“Me too , so much, you don’t understand”

“You know I literally loved you y/n”

“I love you too mark your my best friend”

“No” he laughed “I had the biggest crush on you”

I went bright red “oh really”

“Yes i would die every time we hung out”

“That’s funny”

“Sorry are you weirded out by that, damn I knew I shouldn’t of said anything”

“No Mark It’s funny because I really liked you too”

“REALLY”

“Yes dummy I always liked you I can’t tell you how devastated I was when we didn’t talk anymore it broke my heart”

“Me too y/n but I thought the only way would be to distance my self from you so it would hurt less and it worked for a while but now I’m back here” mark paused for a moment to hold my hand, “I’m back here with you in the drive in, our place, where we would spend countless weekends and we would sit here and cuddle and talk about everything together”

“Mark”

“Yeah” he leaned in and looked down at my lips

I looked down at his before looking into his eyes and then I closed my eyes and kissed him , I finally did it I’m kissing Mark Lee, my crush since forever, the moment feels unreal, my dreams coming true

He pulls away and then pulls me onto his lap

I sit on top of him kissing him more roughly and I start grinding down onto him(feeling confident) he grabbed onto my hips and starting rocking me back and forth against him until I felt him go hard through his tight ripped jeans he threw his head back onto the window on the back seat and I took this opportunity to kiss up his throat and I started to bite leaving hickeys down his neck “fuck y/n”

He sat up and lifted his shirt over his head and he did the same with me, lifting my jumper off and then quickly un doing my bra and my nipples went hard instantly as they hit the cold mark leaned forwards and started to bite my right nipple and then sucked on it making me whine he then did the same with my left driving me insane

He started to leave hickeys down the valley of my breasts and then trails kisses until he reaches my mouth again kissing me passionately

“I want you to ride my baby girl but we gotta be quiet”

“Okay” I reply quickly wanting to get into it

Mark helps me taking my leggings and underwear off, not caring who sees, and then I help him take his jeans off , as soon as they are off I start palming him through his underwear and I can see he is already wet leaking pre cum

“Fuck y/n stop teasing and take them off”

I take them off painfully slow just to tease him even more

I run my hand down his length and lightly squeeze him before I line myself up with his length

“Are you ready”

“I have been for a long time”

I slide down onto him moaning when he finally fits all the way in

I start to bounce on his dick gradually getting faster as I grip onto the headrest for support

Mark and I moan in sync but we’re trying to be as quiet as we can trying to make sure no one can hear us

Mark reached his hand out and starts to rub my clit and that’s when my hips twitch and I lose my fast pace

“FUCK MARK” I say as quietly as I can

He starts to rub faster trying to make me cum

“I’m gonna cum mark”

“Try told it in for a bit longer”

“I don’t know if I can”

Just then mark takes his hand away and grabs onto my hips fucking up into to me to try chase his own release

I start to clench around him really starting to give up

“Okay cum now”

I cum all over his dick and he pulls out and cums on my stomach pumping his length to get the last bits out

Luckily mark had towels so we cleaned ourselves up and got changed by the time we done that the movie had come to an end and we left to drive back to his house

“Well that was the best time I’ve ever had there”

“Not for me” I smirk

“WHAT how, was I not good enough”

Mark was concerned but I was laughing just teasing him

“My favourite time is when you got out the car and tripped in the mud , you were COVERED it was absolutely hilarious”

“IT WAS NOT”

#mark lee #mark lee smut #nct smut #nct imagines #mark lee x reader #mark lee imagines #mark lee fanfic #nct fanfic #nct127 #nct127 smut #superm #kpop smut

[howlsmovinglibrary]

All of the question tags!!

Damn, it seems that this is what happens when you run out of phone data and are away from wifi for a while. The 11 questions tags take over.

Imma gonna answer every tag that I can find in this one long post, and sweet jesus I’m not tagging anyone in this particular chain, for fear of starting some kind of infinite loop that eventually becomes sentient and takes over the world.

So, time to seriously overshare!!

From @books-are-portals​

1. Favourite mythological being (of any kind)?

It’s a tie between dragons and unicorns, and you know what that means…..FIGHT!

2. Least favourite drink?

I hate coke/diet coke/pepsi/cola. I’m quite intolerant to caffeine in large doses, so the last time I drank a glass of coke, at like 4pm in the afternoon probably about 8 years ago, it kept me away until 3am D:

3. What book(s) do you recommend for everyone?

The Wicked and the Divine comics. It’s hella diverse, the art is amazing, and it’s about insanely powerful magical pop star gods. EVERYONE SHOULD READ.

4. Can you touch the tip of your nose with your tongue?

No – I have both an incredibly small nose and a very stubby tongue.

5. Least favourite book protagonist?

Ummm, bar all the protagonists from classics that I could endlessly moan on about all day and all night (I’m looking at you, Pamela), I’m going to say Zoey from The House of Night series, for all her toxic slut shaming, double standards, and just generally horribly written narrative voice (‘bullpoopy’ is a word that will forever be branded on my mind).

6. What TV show/film makes you happy?

Brooklyn Nine Nine is my go-to happy tv show, Spirited Away/Howl’s Moving Castle are the film equivalent.

7. Favourite trope?

Anything where a platonic friendship (particularly between two women) gets prioritised above a romantic relationship.

8. What piece of fictional technology would you like to have?

An alethiometer from HDM – it tells you the truth, but not enough to stop you from being in control of your own fate (the beauty of a book about free will, I guess.)

9. Finish sentence: I didn’t get enough sleep last night because…

…my back aches from lugging all my books to storage.

10. Favourite food to eat when you’re feeling down?

To be honest, it’s probably toast (with peanut butter if it’s been a really bad day).

11. Can you knit?

I can, but I can’t knit well. If you want a scarf, I can, in theory, do that. Anything that isn’t just one uniform band of the same stitch and I am not the person for the job.

********

From @heretherebebooks

1. Have you ever fallen out of love with a book? Why?

There are a lot of standard answers: ACOTAR, Twilight, etc. but my most recent is Borderline by Mishell Baker – I really like books with ‘unlikeable’ protagonists so I gave this a very high rating on first review, but I didn’t realise how damaging this representation of BPD is until I read multiple own voices reviews on the subject.

2. What’s the strangest book-related dream you’ve ever had? 

I have a lot of book dreams which feature me as the protagonist in my favourite fantasy novels, but then when I try to use magic to defend myself my brain goes ‘but Emma, magic doesn’t exist’ and so I’m suddenly facing down a demon hoard with no powers whatsoever.

3. Have you read a book that you didn’t really appreciate until later on? 

Ash by Malinda Lo is the main one for this, because  I didn’t appreciate that Ash is not supposed to get with the unbelievably hot fairy prince…until I reread five years later and saw that the hot fairy prince is a dick.

4. What book would you like to see a musical adaptation of? (Bonus: any ideas for song titles?)

To be honest, I just want Starkid to do a ‘A Very Potter Musical’ version of Cursed Child and watch the fanfiction of the fanfiction.

5. Have you ever thrown a book across the room? What was it? 

Ms Marvel Volume 4 (my ship was sunk…for now, anyway).

6. What book cover do you absolutely hate? How would you redesign it?

The Falconer and Dark Days Club UK covers are just super tacky – I’d take the Falconer US covers, and replace the Dark Days standard ‘pretty woman in fragile looking pose’ covers with either ‘plain looking woman fighting a fuck tonne of demons’ or just ‘fuck tonne of demons’, which is what the story is about anyway.

7. Have you ever cosplayed a character? Who?

I’m read this question at a con while dressed as Newt Scamander, so…. (last year I was Violet from the Rat Queen comics).

8. What’s the last book that made you want to scream from the rooftop? 

Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty (the thing I screamed was “MURDER. IN. SPAAAACEEE!” when my housemate asked me what it was about, although I was not on a rooftop at the time.)

9. What’s your favourite subgenre? 

My new favourite is ‘geeky contemporary’, bonus points if it’s ‘geek convention contemporary’ (Queens of Geek, Geekerella, Unconventional)

10. If you could bring an author back to life to write one more book, who would it be? 

I think Angela Carter could write one hell of a feminist YA fairy tale retelling, so I’m gonna bring her back.

11. Mug full of tea on your bed - yay or nay?

I just….I don’t live life this dangerously xD

*********

From @bookcub:

1. Who was the last character you related to and what were they from?  

Luca from The Burning City by Amanda Foody – he was basically the reason I kept reading that book, which otherwise wasn’t really my cup of tea, despite being a perfectly good book. He was the love interest, and was explicitly demiromantic. Although I’m not entirely sure where I place on the ace spectrum, and also felt that his portrayal was a little bit too cut and dry – with no sexual attraction until the MC shows up and then all the sexual attraction immediately at once with not really any grey area – his indifferent attitude towards sex as a general concept until those feelings latch onto a specific person, and his hesitation surrounding how to handle a relationship when it’s not something he’s has to consider before that point, were both very relatable for me. It certainly fitted my experience a little better than Tash Hearts Tolstoy.

2. What’s your favorite genre of music? 

Hmmm…there’s a wide range but I guess singer songwriter covers it? I care more about a song’s lyrics than what genre it’s in.

3. Which tags on tumblr do you follow and why? 

*whispers* I still don’t really understand how following tags works…..(someone plz explain)

4. Do you have any book related jewelry? 

I have a necklace of an owl delivering a Hogwarts letter, and Howl’s earrings from the Ghibli movie.

5. Thoughts on booklr being dead? 

I think the parts of booklr that were active a few years ago might be dead, but that’s just one specific group of people and they’ve probably moved on for a reason. Given it’s only in the last year or so that I’m getting notes and making friends, if booklr truly is dead then it seems that I’m either a necromancer, or having one hell of a party in the graveyard.

6. What are some of your favorite picture books from when you were a kid?

We’re Going On a Bear Hunt is the classic (my parents used to sing it to me to get me to go on hikes). When I could read for myself, Varjak Paw. 

7. What’s the first book you remember reading or being read to you? 

My dad read me the first and half of the second Harry Potter books on the Eurostar train from London to Disneyland Paris.

8. What’s your favorite dystopian novel and why? 

Hmmm, I’m not really a fan of dystopias all that much (more of a fantasy person), but I really like the Wolf by Wolf series, which I think counts due to it being alt. history, and The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. The first because a) it has fantasy elements, and b) A* character development over the duology. The second because it was the first ‘literary’ book I read for school and enjoyed, and because the TV show has been one of my favourite things this year.

9. Where do you get/buy most of your books? 

Truthfully, Amazon. I’m trying to do better now that I’m no longer strapped for cash.

10. Favorite animal? 

Cats. Fluffy, smooshy faced cats in particular ^^.

11. What book release are you anxious for (one you know the release date for) (yeah that means not Doors or Stone) 

It’s a toss-up between The Stone Sky by NK. Jemisin (which is out like, next week!!), Provenance by Ann Leckie, and Warcross by Marie Lu.

**********

From @accidentalspaceexplorer:

1. What do you think of science fiction?

I think it is good when written well, where the focus on world building doesn’t leave the characters one dimensional. Unfortunately I also think it is coded masculine in a number of ways - the focus on a ‘logical, technological’ world rather than ‘illogical’ femme coded magic  -  which means that sometimes I find it quite an frustrating and alienating genre. 

2. What’s one of your pet peeves?

Mansplaining. Currently there’s this really horrible man at my book club who keeps trying to explain narrative to me and I’m like, dude, I’m an English Literature graduate.

3. If you could pick one magic system to exist in real life, what would it be?

Oh, fuck. There’s so many that would be amazing, but I think the main I always gravitate back to is Elemental magic a la the Avatar universe, because that was the first type of magic system I fell in love with.

4. What is your favorite tree?

Cherry blossom

5. Do you have any plants around the house?

I do not own any personally, but my housemate has like fifteen spider plants to which I like to think I am a caring godmother figure.

6. What is the book with the weirdest premise that you’ve read and would recommend?

The Jane Austen Project - time travellers go back to Regency era Britain to befriend Austen and try to steal one of her lost manuscripts.

7. Have you loved books for as long as you can remember, or was there a particular event that sparked you becoming a reader?

As long as I can remember - I remember giving a presentation in class about how I was going to be any author at age 9.

8. What is your favorite recipe?

Lemon meringue cake - cake, lemon curd, a fuck tonne of meringue, what’s not to love?

9. Do you reread books? If not, why not? If so, what’s one that you reread again and again?

Yes. Always reread. My three main ones are The Dark Days Club, Uprooted, and (of course) Howl’s Moving Castle.

10. What’s your favorite weather?

Cold sunshine in winter. 

11. Do you read every day?

Pretty much (I read on my lunch break at work).

I think that’s every outstanding question answered - sorry if I’ve missed anyone!

#11 question tag #some would say 'too many questions' tag #about me #some would say 'too much' about me

[ramblyravingnnjashark]

Nier Automata - Genius and Madness

the works of Yoko Taro are something that have eluded me for most of my life, and that I have given very little attention to. Probably for good reasons because from the outside, the gameplay of his games range from Mediocre to Average at best and I consider myself a very "gameplay First" person. Some of my Freinds would rave about Drakengard and how weird it is but that didnt quite convince me to look into them much further. However, one Fateful Day a little game called "Nier Automata" was announced, a sequel to Yoko Taros Xbox 360/PS3 game Nier with a little line of Text that would change things in an instant

                                   "Developed by PlatinumGames"

now friends of mine will know that, PlatinumGames is one of my alltime favourite Game Devs for their Crazy High skill Character Action Beat em up titles, containing Larger than Life characters and great and tight Gameplay that owes their roots in the Arcade games of old, which is something I have a appreciation for.

So, with a combination like this I finally decided to take on this series, by means of watching Youtube essays about it because goddamn, the gameplay in these games can get rather mind numbing sadly but honestly? Yoko Taro mighta earned himself now a nice cushy place as one of my favourite Directors, right next to  Hideki Kamiya and Hideo Kojima themselves.

But there is one thing I realised from watching these Essays and actually playing one of them it is one thing to watch a guy sum this series up for you, its a whole different thing to watch the Insanity for yourself

because the works of Yoko Taro arent stories about Heroic Knights slaying Demons and Evil Dragons, or Loving Fathers/older Brothers trying to survive the Fall of Humanity with their Daughters/Little Sisters

they are stories about Love, Hate, War, the meaninglessness of the Universe and the Hope growing from it, what it means to be Human, and what it means to lose all reason and go complete and genuinely Mad

(there will be spoilers, so be warned if you wish to expirience these games yourself!)

so originally, this was gonna be a brief recap of Drakengard and Nier, but then I realised I couldnt do these games justice so I just link this and this recap of these games that should give you a good idea what these games are about but to keep it brief

Drakengard is essentially to RPGs what Evangelion was to Mecha Anime, and thats a fairly approviate comparsion when you just look at, this

its also notable for how it handles its different endings, usually referred to as Ending A, Ending B etc, Ending E of the first Drakengard game was a Joke ending that nontheless became the basis for the setting of Nier, a ruined Planet Earth set hundreds of years after the Fall of Humanity about a Father (in the Western Releases) or a Older Brother (Japanese release) having to fend for himself and his Daughter/Younger Sister in a world under constant threat of creatures known as Heartless Shades

both these games are interesting, because their gameplay is nothing special, in the case of Drakengard its outright terrible,they got mediocre reviews and poor sales and yet these games have a dedicated Cult following and  tons of Novels, Audio Dramas, Manga and even Stage Plays that expand the Universes of these games and its lore

and thats for a simple reason: these games may have mediocre gameplay but, their Stories, their Characters, their Art Direction is actually of fairly high quality featuring intriguing Characters and worldbuilding that makes you invested in them regardless I mean, theres a entire exchange in Nier thats entireley between two Magical Talking Books for cryin out loud, and its one of the best parts of the game!

however, these games have thus far had a life as just that, Cult Classics, that didnt manage to garner a mainstream audience due to its aforementioned quirks, the Gameplay just could never stand up to the well written stories of these games

this is where PlatinumGames comes into play

now, the gameplay of Automata I honestly felt like was more on par with what Revengeance offered: there is stuff you can do with it but all in all its below the likes of Bayonetta and Devil May Cry 3 but thats not to say its poor, of course not, it doesnt encourage you to try anything other than just Mash about, but thats Fine, theres also Chips that your characters can even equip Chips that enhance their abilities and giv e them new ones such as a Bayonetta style Parry and Witch time or give them Heals upon Killing the enemy and while the actual enviroments can be a bit of a chore to go through (until you get Fast Travel), it still felt good to Parkour your way through them, nice snappy and smooth which gives me hopes they take a cue or two from this game for Bayonetta 3 in that regard at least

another thing I loved is the Soundtrack itself. Now I dont consider myself a musical person, however I can tell when a Song is used perfectly, and in Automata? Every Song is used to actual perfection. Music to me can be the deciding factor wether a Area or Scene in a Game or Movie is Garbage, Forgettable or Legendary, and for Automata, every song makes each area fall niceley into the latter fortunatly. One Standout track for me is Birth of a Wish (Become as Gods) a retake of an earlier song that adds in additional Chorus, and the Theme for Pascals village which is a cute Melody involving Children singing.

now onto the game itself, Route A puts you in the sexy and Lucious Thigh High boots of YoRHa Unit 2B, whereas Route B puts you in the cute Boy shorts of her Partner and mostly Good Boy YoRHa Unit 9S both tasked with ridding the world of Machine Lifeforms and making Earth inhabitable for the Humans stuck on the Moon again Both Routes play out roughly the same, 2B plays like a Standard Character Action Heroine with Lights and Heavies and such, whereas 9S is mainly focused around his ability to hack enemies and engage into brief SHMUP segments.

of the two I felt like 2B was a little more fun to play all in all, the Hacking was fine but also felt a teeny bit like a pace breaker but not too much, at least until late in Route B the game throws curvebals and unique hacking segments into the mix

a thing Yoko Taro games have been very good at showing, is showing the process of a Person losing their mental stability and throwing it all away to become a one track minded Mad Man and I find that interesting.

Drakengard had a good example when the Character Inuart completley loses it and becomes obsessed with bringing back his Dead Love interest, causing here to turn into the monster posted above. Automata meanwhile, shows this also but with Machines, being that shouldnt even go mad in the first place but become Insane with concepts like Revenge, Fear or other. Now I am not a Psychology Major or anything but I cant help but feel "this is Intriguing", not sure if thats a bad thing or anything but thats how it is.

now, Route C is where officialy the PlatinumGame ends and the Yoko Taro game begins, in that things become utterly, utterly Bleak. Not to say it was happy funtime before, many of the sidequests end on a very sour or outright terrible note, but here? Shits gon Bad!

YoRHa falls, everyone on the Protagonists homebase dies or becomes infected with a Virus that makes them go insane, 2B dies and 9S is severeley wounded and has his mental state utterly ruined by seeing 2B, his Love interest, die. from this Point onward, you play as Either A2, a former YoRHa gone Rogue and 9S as he tries to kill every last Machine Lifeform, and as hes utterly loses his mind. Focusing entireley on his one Goal so that maybe, he can find Death and be with 2B in the Afterlife.

this is where the game really became interesting to me. Gradually 9S goes from this sweet pure boy to a Violent Mess that only wants to Kill and Kill and Kill, Over and Over, its a Interesting Development for such a Character I feel. A2 meanwhile, while still a Great Character and a Blast to play, I felt like was severeley underutilized, getting very little playtime compared to 2B and 9S, with most of her greatest character Development limited to a Japan only Stage play that got a short text recap on a terminal. and it just goes from there and it keeps going, plot twists happen, reveals happen, callbacks to the first Nier and Drakengard 1 happen, its just this huge Mountain of themes and stuff to uncover and analyse. references to old Philosophers and the Concept of Nihilism itself ebing explored, little details that popped up in the early game and now have much greater meaning, its....actually incredible?

I dont think I ever played a game that had so much going on, the last time I think I did was, Metal Gear Solid 3, maybe?! I think....this might actually be one of the best written games I ever played?

and there is still so much content I could go through, the Stage Plays, the Novels, theres probably a buncha Audio Dramas for it too already its like, Jesus christ. and then theres Ending E, which while rather difficult (and probably causes at least 4 people to fucking hate my Guts) was probably one of the best ending sequences I seen in recent years, I'm not gonna go into detail what it is because, it needs to be seen to be belived, but I find it genuiley incredible.

I dont think theres a single game in the Drakengard and Nier series I would actually consider my "Favourite Game", maybe Nier Automata but thats up for consideration still, but I think I can safeley say that both games story as a whole is easily up there with Metal Gear as  one of my favourite Game stories out there, and friends and followers of mine would know by now how much I love that Franchise and its wacky insane story, Drakengard and Nier are special little series that you dont see enough of these days, but maybe thats for the better

I'm not gonna say "Nier Automata rekindled my love for video games" or anything, but I am glad I got to expirience these two series.

#Recent Ramblings #Ramblings #Ninja Original

[thatguywhoreviews]

Baywatch

 It’s 1AM where I am right now. I should really be sleeping, but I’m not. I need to talk about what in the name of hell I’ve just sat through. It was two hours long. I could talk about the issues with each scene in-depth. I’ve just watched Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson swim through LITERAL FIRE.

 It.

Is.

The.

Worst.

Film.

 I.

Have.

Seen.

All.

Year.

  “And not a single fuck was given”

This quote was my reaction to every single joke that they attempted to even hint at in this entire movie. I didn’t laugh properly once. I cringed more than I laughed. The acting is awful, the character development is awful, the plot is worse than a fever dream that you dreamt up whilst you were drunk at a bar. And the CGI. Oh god, the CGI. The CGI is worse than that time you thought you were a genius and decided to dabble in the art of Scratch. Oh, you don’t believe me? Look at this.

That fire was an actual special effect used in the actual film that was actually released in 2017. I’ve watched three different films this year that at one point of another I’ve classed as the worst film I’ve ever seen. I’ve watched The Room (expect a review on that at some point) which I’ve recently came to love as a cheesy little independent film that grew well outside of its bubble and became a cult phenomenon. I’ve watched The Emoji Movie (Only expect me to review this if I run out of films that I want to review or find to review because I don’t normally put myself through filmic torture) which I’ve not came to love quite as much as The Room, but I have come to hate even more through the exposure it had in the media and the fact that it literally only exists to milk yet more money from the people who choose to see the film. Also, they got Sir Patrick Stewart to voice the Poo Emoji. SIR PATRICK STEWART. If that’s not a waste of the talent that you’ve got, then I don’t know what is.

Baywatch is the final film that I’ve watched this year that I’d class as the worst film I’ve seen all year and this time, I mean it completely. I sat watching this film with a look of utter contempt and hatred on my face that I don’t think I’ve ever had whilst watching any other film. I didn’t even laugh at the CGI, I felt like erupting into tears at every possible avenue. Everything in this film is made by people who don’t understand how films work and the worst thing is the actors that they got are actually pretty good in other things. The Rock has done so many films that by this point he’s almost a classic actor and he’s so much better than whatever this film is trying to be. Even Zac Efron and Alexandra Daddario can do SO much better than this. The characters all fit into heteronormative character stereotypes that I could literally write in my sleep (and yes, I think I could also write them better in my sleep thereby proving the fact that the writers were all high when they wrote this film).

You’ve got the geeky character (Played here awfully by Ronnie Greenbaum) who has fell in love with one of the lifeguards and wants to become a lifeguard just to impress her. He literally doesn’t even care about the massive responsibility and job that he has put on his own shoulders, he just wants to get this girl into bed and that’s literally his characters only motivation to do anything in this entire film, he’s given no character beyond that point.  You’ve got an Olympic Gold Medallist (Played here by probably the second strongest performer in this entire film, and the only one with any real charm, Zac Efron) who has been assigned to this beach for mysterious reasons and falls in love with yet another of the potential lifeguard candidates, Summer Quinn (Played by Alexandra Daddario), who has literally no character development in the film because, like both other female leads (Victoria Leeds (Played here by a seemingly bored Priyanka Chopra) and Stephanie Holden (Played by Ilfenesh Hadera, the less said about her performance here, the better), she was never given a character that could be developed. Every female character in this film is simply eye candy for the males and the film never even shies away from this fact, instead openly accepting it to a weird extent. Even the ‘nerdy’ character at the very least gets a modicum of character development, represented as a weird outcast who could never fit in and who, may I just add briefly, gets his penis stuck in a deckchair during the first half hour of the film and that joke can simply never be forgotten because the implications of it are simply horrifying. Like, what happened next? Did it get ripped off? Is it still there to this day? Is it in a museum collecting pieces of memorabilia that document accurately quite how this travesty of a film actually got the chance to ever be made and somehow made it to a cinema screen rather than a television screen, which incidentally would have actually made it better because I feel like I could deal with this time in small bite sized chunks (or at the very least, it would have meant I didn’t have the misfortune of seeing this movie). I’d also just like to point out that as much as Efrons character seemingly messed up, the treatment he’s given throughout the film really doesn’t represent this well in the slightest and there was no point in making him an Olympic Gold Medallist. In fact, I feel like the only reason they even made him a gold medallist is so that he had a reason to have a body that looks like it was ripped straight out of God’s Favourite Bodies and a reason to have a ‘complex’ plot based around the fact that, oh yeah, he was a gold medallist.

“Fire?! What does that mean?!”

Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. You want me to talk about the CGI used in the film. Fine. But don’t expect this section to be short or even fun. Wait a second. That’s exactly how I’d describe the atrocious CGI that’s used in this film!

 This film literally has some of the worst special effects I’ve seen all year. This year has actually been one of my favourite years in cinema (due to the fact that so many good films have come out this year and I love them all) and I’ve adored some of the effects I’ve seen this year, yet this film couldn’t even be bothered to render something approaching realistic fire. Like, seriously I’ve already shown you this stuff and if you reacted in anything even approaching a similar way to how I reacted to the CGI, you almost died with laughter and then slowly stopped laughing as you realised that this was a still that was actually taken from the film. You know what, it’s easier to show you a comparison of this film and another film that was realised this year. It’s important here that we ignore budget because if you stretch your money enough you can do anything with even the smallest amount of money. You ready? Look at this.

 Did you take a good wide berth at it? That first still at the top is taken from Blade Runner 2049, an incredibly well made, well directed and brilliantly acted film that, like Baywatch (a name I can’t even think about anymore without wanted to walk outside, wait for somebody to walk past me, knock them out and then proceed to kill them and hide the body), was released in 2017. Yes, you read that right. It came out this year. That still at the bottom is taken from, you guessed it, Baywatch. Please, tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see special effects in the Baywatch still. I see somebody who has thrown paint at a landscape painting of a boat and said “Yeah, I think that’ll do it”. I just refuse to believe that this is what film studios have become these days, desperate money hungry husks of what they used to be.

There’s more examples like this in the film and they’re all as bad as the fire scene that you’ve just had the displeasure of looking at. God, I can’t even look at it without screaming internally in a manner that implies my eyes are melting and I’m losing the will to live. There’s a scene that is thankfully very late in the film (thankful in the sense that you don’t have too much of this abysmally made disgusting train wreck to watch after you’ve seen these scenes) that involves a large number of fireworks, a gun and the top of a large tower. Suffice to say, The Rock is shot for what seems like the ten millionth time at this point and it looks like the bad guy has won (more to be said on her later, but suffice to say I have more than a few little bones to pick with her and her scheme that is borderline insane to a level never seen in film before) and then the bad guy (who I’m going to admit right here, I don’t even know her name. I don’t even know if they said it in the film, if they did I can’t remember it, but it wouldn’t exactly surprise me if they didn’t even bother to properly characterise their villain and just kept them as a mysterious presence that isn’t even that mysterious) is distracted by pretty fireworks. Yes. You read that. That actually happened. The villain of the piece, the woman who shot THE ROCK for gods sake, the woman who is seemingly about to make millions of dollars from drug and property sales is distracted by a few pretty fireworks which makes it seemingly impossible for her helicopter to pick her up. And the firework CGI is also pretty poor by the standards that we’ve (very much rightly) came to expect from any film that has been released in 2017 (we got Thor: Ragnarok this year for Christ’s sake). There’s nothing redeeming about the CGI in this film, something that will likely not surprise you as I am a strong believer that this entire film literally has no good or even believably decent moments.

 “It’s not about the drugs for Leeds”

Leeds! That’s the name of the villain of the piece! I can’t believe I forgot her name! Oh wait, I can. Just like I can voluntarily forgot every single moment of this film and feel all the better for having do so.

She’s an awful mockery of what could have been really quite the fun character and yet just…. isn’t. At all. She’s not fun. She’s not funny. She doesn’t even have a half-decent plan which, as a, y’know, villain, is the only reason that she even exists in the film in the bloody first place.  Her plan is to sell drugs and make enough money to….do what exactly? It’s never even explained why she wants this money, just that she wants money so she can have money. It’s never actually explained what she’s going to spend that money on and we’ll never find out the reasons because by the end of the film she’s dead.

 “That’s not how this story ends, Mitch”

Actually, yes it is. This film is the complete antithesis to anything that a good film should be and I wouldn’t even wish this upon my worst enemy.

0/10- It’s really that bad. I wouldn’t even recommend watching this film as part of a marathon of bad films. If anybody ever gets you this film as a gift and thinks that by buying you this film that they’ve carried out a good deed, burn the DVD in front of their eyes and then slap the person who bought you the film, clearly they don’t care about you in the slightest and they just want to laugh as they watch you suffer in what will be something approaching silent and unparalleled horror at whatever you’ve just pressed play on.

#baywatch #review