#i really wish there had been more done with the human experimentation element in kh2

[aliceslantern]

Nocturnal Memory, a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, chapter 10

[Summary:  Dying takes a lot out of you, it's true, but when Demyx wakes up for the first time since his fight with Sora nothing's right. His memories are fragmented and he's missing his true name. And he's not the only one. An incomprehensible mystery and an inevitable war make him question what, exactly, he would do to become whole, and reclaim the music lost to him.

on FF.net/on AO3]

"Well, what are you sitting there for? I mean today," Even snapped.

Demyx got up too fast, and vertigo rolled through him. He put on his shoes and followed them out the door. He still felt weak and struggled to keep up with their brisk pace.

But they didn't leave the castle. Instead they went straight into some office Demyx never had been to. The room was round, with low bookshelves all along the walls, and a massive picture frame leaning against the wall had been covered by tarps. Even and Ienzo breezed right through to the room behind it.

Demyx barely had time to take the room in. There was a console computer overlooking a gaping hall. It looked like there were massive glass containers on the wall—containers more than big enough to fit a person. He exhaled sharply. "What—"

Even turned to face him. "Tell me something, Nine," he said. "What do you feel now?"

"What?" Demyx repeated.

"How did you know it was darkness?" He pressed.

"Well…" He could barely tear his gaze from the glass containers. Even, Ienzo, the rest—they had been scientists—their experiments dealt with darkness in the human heart—he took a shaky breath. "I… felt wrong for a few days when I worked with the committee," he explained. "Like, tired, like my muscles were burning, and even when I slept I never got my energy back. I thought it was just because I was using my powers too much, but yesterday… it was worse than usual."

"Can you describe how?" Ienzo asked gently. Demyx saw Even pacing back and forth, mouthing words to himself.

He clasped his arms around himself. "The burning was like all over, and then my teeth started going numb. And it reminded me of when I became a Nobody. I had thought that maybe it was a toxin in the water, from sitting stagnant for so long right above those crystals, but…" His throat was still dry and he swallowed. "It made me feel… dirty, kind of… itchy…"

Ienzo came towards him. He put a finger under Demyx's chin and looked deep into his eyes. He checked his pulse as well. "You seem unharmed," he said. "I don't even smell the darkness on you."

"It didn't touch me. I felt it in the water. I didn't make it up, I swear, I—"

"We never thought you made it up," Ienzo said, as Even's muttering increased in volume. "Still… curious, how were you able to feel it without being exposed?"

"My powers," Demyx tried hopelessly. "I can feel bodies of water in my consciousness. I used to be able to figure stuff out about them—if they were contaminated, or drinkable, or how deep or far away from me they were. I hadn't gotten that back yet, but I think the darkness, for whatever reason, gave it back to me for a little while and I wasn't ready for it."

"We already know darkness does not confine itself to any logic," Even said. "You must be very careful and tell us in an instant if you begin to feel that way again."

Ienzo dove towards the computer console and began to hammer away at the computer. "It won't let me in," he hissed. "They must have changed all our passwords."

Demyx had never seen Ienzo this close to losing his cool. Nausea began to curdle in his stomach.

"Remember the backdoor, Ienzo," Even said in a voice that was probably supposed to be soothing. He went over to him. "We will fix this."

"We've done enough," Ienzo said bitterly. He slammed on the keys. "Damn it!"

Demyx flinched.

Even put an arm around him. "Take a deep breath, Ienzo. We need you to be calm."

He did so several times. Demyx swore he saw tears beading in the corners of his eyes.

"This is not something we can do on our own," Even said to Ienzo. "We can do some damage control for now, but we need the boy."

"Me?" Demyx asked faintly.

"No, Nine, but we need you to sense the extent of the damage. We need…" he grimaced, as if he tasted something bitter. "We need Sora."

Demyx's blood ran cold. "No," he said through his teeth. "No, I… I can't…"

"You felt how strong the darkness was. Do you want to risk exposing the townspeople to it?" Even asked.

His hands started to shake. "How long will it take him to get here?"

"Depends on where he is in his journey," Ienzo said in a shaky voice. He kept his eyes on the floor. "It could be minutes, it could be hours."

"I will go and explain the situation to the committee," Even said. "Both of you need to stay here and field the situation. That is, if you believe yourself capable of keeping it together."

He's coming. The words jumbled together in Demyx's head. He was coming and even worse Demyx would have to work with him. An ache sprang up in his chest and his lungs constricted. He slid down against the nearest wall.

The battle. The blood. The bluntness of the Keyblade scraping against his chest. A tight, pained sound left his mouth.

"He won't hurt you," Ienzo said tiredly. He leaned against the console for support. "If anything, he'll be looking to make amends."

Demyx clutched his knees to try and stop his hands from trembling. Breathe. Count to ten. Was it darkness or pure fear making him feel this way? Slick, cold sweat gathered on his back. And then when he'd woken up after dying nothing was the same, nothing was right—

"You're not the only one who faced defeat at the hands of Sora," Ienzo said. His voice was still faint and his eyes faraway. "Perhaps you should talk to Xal—ah, Dilan. You might find it somewhat cathartic."

Cold tears snaked down his face, but at least he seemed able to breathe again. "Why are you so afraid?" Demyx asked.

Ienzo shut his eyes. "Because," he said. "All of this—Xehanort, the world falling to darkness, Nobodies, the Organization—it's because of me."

"…What?" Demyx said.

A long moment of silence. Ienzo's breathing became more labored, and he was trembling, but Demyx couldn't bring himself to go over and comfort him. "When… when I was a young child, studying under Ansem the Wise," he began. "I was quite precocious—precocious enough for them to introduce me to their own research. Ansem the Wise was always a man who was interested in the heart, but he didn't dare put any of his ideas into physical practice. The ethics, you see. The people of Radiant Garden used to be so strongly moral. With the arrival of the boy—Xehanort in Terra's body—it reawakened his curiosity. And I chose that moment to strike. I convinced him, and the others quickly backed me, to build a laboratory and put some rudimentary experiments into practice. It was all to try and heal the boy's memories; he was an amnesiac. He had replaced me as the favorite, the protégé, and I was jealous. I thought—if I could help him, then… We only had good intentions. And then…"

Demyx swallowed. "…And then?"

"Because of the psychological and emotional rigor of the tests, the darkness within the subjects' hearts spread like flame and devoured them. And we learned about the Heartless." His voice was level but his face was splotchy and tears coursed steadily down his face. "Whatever came next-inadvertently it was all because of me. And I wanted to spare him pain. Him. All along."

Demyx didn't know what to say.

"I am trying my best to try and make up for what I did," he said. "But I can never undo it. I can never go back in time. I… must take my leave." He strode briskly out of the room and left Demyx there alone to contemplate the new meaning of the bottles on the wall.

He came quietly, and he came alone.

Demyx associated Sora with theatrics and loud bravado; not to mention those accursed friends of his. When he heard the knock on the wall, he assumed it was Even or one of the others, but then he looked up and saw the spiky hair and sky-blue eyes. Demyx's heart flew into his throat and choked him.

Demyx was still alone, as well. Ienzo's breakdown must have hit him pretty hard. Instinctively, he took a step back and raised his hands. He tried to breathe, and tasted bile.

Despite panic Demyx noticed that Sora looked different. Not just the outfit, or the hair, but the slump in his posture and the exhausted glint in his eye.

"I thought nobody was here," Sora said in a quiet voice. "Where is everyone?"

He dropped his hands. Sora expected an answer, but he couldn't speak.

Sora took a step forward. He was smaller than Demyx, and looked like he needed a good night's sleep. "You were the one who first sensed it, right?"

He nodded.

Sora walked past him over to the computer. "I'm not gonna hurt you," he said to the wall of bottles. "I can feel how tense you are from here."

The voice was uncanny, but Demyx was certain this was a different Sora. Still, he couldn't feel all that sorry for him. "Where are your friends?" he asked in a tremulous voice.

"They have other friends they need to help," Sora said. They made eye contact for the first time, and a chill shot down his spine. "It's just me. If that's okay."

You killed me, Demyx thought, but the words didn't leave his mouth. He shrugged.

"So I guess that means," Sora continued awkwardly. "That you turned out okay? After… our fight?" His hand flicked up to the back of his neck. "You're helping the committee. That means a lot to me."

"Not really," Demyx said. "I mean, I'm not."

"Not helping the committee? But Yuffie said—"

"No. I am. But I'm not okay."

"Oh," Sora said. "I'm… sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

Is there anything he can do? A blazing anger scalded away the rest of the fear, but Demyx was speechless.

The sound of footsteps in the hallway interrupted any stillborn expletives. Lea swaggered into the room, Keyblade akimbo. "Hey, you made it!" He called to Sora. "You know, you look terrible." Demyx watched in morbid fascination as they high-fived. "Oh, hey, Demyx," Lea added neutrally.

Sora squinted at him. "You still go by that name?"

"He has no other," Lea said. "It's a long story, right?"

"Right," Demyx said through his teeth.

"But he knows," Sora said quickly, and with a trace of panic. "He knows about the-?"

Lea put a hand on Sora's shoulder. "We still waiting for the others?"

"They think it has something to do with the lab," Demyx said. "And I have no idea how to get there."

Lea's smile faltered a little. "Well, don't worry about that, because I do."

"It's going to be dangerous," Sora said. "Can you fight?"

He had no weapon and his powers were unpredictable at best. He shrugged.

"I've got him covered," Lea said.

"I only sensed darkness in the water," Demyx said. "That doesn't mean I can face it."

"Maybe we should leave him here, then," Sora said.

It was irritating to be referred to like an object. Demyx grit his teeth.

"That may be so, but the boy might be our only indicator that the problem is solved." Even came from the doorway. Ienzo was not with him. "The laboratory's placement… was unfortunate in that regard. Connected right to a massive underground reservoir. Hello, Sora."

Sora squinted. "Hey, there."

"You don't remember me, do you? No matter. It's for the best."

Lea exhaled. "All right, old man. Let's get going."

The four of them went through a doorway to the south of the room. The lighting in here was dim at best, and a long, spiraling ramp proceeded down as far as Demyx could see. "Where is Ienzo?" He asked.

"He wanted to come, but he was unwell. I insisted he remain behind and lie down. He's let himself get all torn up about it. Things have changed. It will take him a while to realize that this burden is not his alone to bear, but all of ours."

Demyx noticed Lea look away sulkily. He drew his Keyblade.

"I don't like this place," Sora said. "What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Even asked. "Really, truly sure? I would be glad to address it another time over tea. You must keep your head."

"I know it had something to do with… hearts," Sora continued. "But all the information I have is vague."

"I never realized you cared," Lea cut in. "Since when do you gather intel?"

Sora shrugged. "It helps," he said weakly.

As they proceeded down the staircase, it grew darker and colder. A thick, acrid smoky smell filled the air. The faint lights couldn't fight the gloom. Sora gathered a small ball of light in his hands, and Lea created one of fire. Demyx and Even huddled close behind.

"We're getting close," Even said.

Demyx could see his breath. A shudder crawled across his skin, but a hot bubbling sensation started in his peripheral, accompanied by a massive pressure. Even was right; the reservoir was huge. He gasped out loud. He felt like he was being squeezed.

"Nine?" Even asked through the darkness.

"I feel it," he said.

"I do too," Sora said.

"I'm afraid it's gonna get worse before it gets better," Lea said. "We're barely halfway there. Will you be okay?"

"I think so," Sora said. Demyx couldn't be too sure. An overwhelming nausea gathered in his stomach and he kept his mouth shut.

The stairway emptied out to a flat floor full of doors with slotted windows. Overhead fluorescents popped on, but it didn't do anything to ease the gloom. They all tensed at once; Even and Lea both wore tight, drawn expression. Sora's eyes flooded with tears and a hand fluttered over his mouth. "Their pain… I… what happened, here?"

"I believe we can discuss it later," Even said firmly.

"No." Sora's voice was sharp. "I have to know. Pain like this—it's not natural. Can't you hear that?"

All Demyx heard was a pressing silence and the simmering of the water roiling with darkness. He leaned against a wall to keep his balance.

"Look at where we are, Sora. What do you think happened?" Lea asked in a harsh voice.

Sora stepped back. He glanced at the cells. His eyes widened and he turned even paler. "Why?" He asked. "Why? How?" He spat the last word at Even.

"Sora, you have to keep it together so we can fix this," Even said.

He turned. "I have to—I have to help them," he muttered.

"It's too late for them now," Even said. "But you can keep the people above from reaching the same fate."

"It's not too late for them," Demyx said faintly. He was feverish. "If we fix this, we'll be helping them."

"Them?" Lea asked.

"Not all people who become Heartless become Nobodies," Demyx said. "Their souls and bodies have to go somewhere. And the darkness keeps them here."

They all looked at him. Finally Sora nodded. "All right. Enough is enough. Where do we have to go?"

"There's only one more level," Lea said. "If they're not here, they're going to be down there." He gestured with the flame in his palm.

Sora bobbed his head again. "I'll go alone," he said.

"What? Are you crazy?" Lea barked. "You could still get slaughtered down there."

"It won't help them go in peace if their perpetrators are the one taking them down. Again." Sora's gaze was fierce. "So I'm going." He turned to Demyx. "Will you come with me?"

#nocturnal memory #demyx #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3d #fanfiction #i really wish there had been more done with the human experimentation element in kh2 #like HOLY SHIT that happened??? #this is a kid's game #it's got so much narrative potential that was just wasted #so much moral complexity #then again #so much in kh has potential that gets wasted #and instead there's time travel bullshittery