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melanie-ohara · 3 months

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Do You Want Me on Your Mind?

Whumpuary2024, Day 21 - Prompt: Memories

Nocturne helps Shadowheart recover her memories (pre BG3)

I love Nocturne, everyone write more about Nocturne

AO3 Here

Nocturne waited anxiously in an ante-room off the temple library. The expedition would be back any minute, and she hadn't read a page of the tome sitting on the desk in front of her. Occasionally, she turned a page in case one of the other acolytes passing by was watching her, and she forced herself to stop bouncing her leg every time she caught herself doing it. Nocturne had picked that specific reading room for the view it gave her of the cloister's main door, so she was one of the first to see it open. As much as she wanted to rush out and greet Shadowheart straight away, she made herself wait. The Mother Superior had eyes like a hawk, and she didn't want to look too eager. Certainly not as eager as she was.

She turned a page in the book without bothering to even look at it, watching the agents of Shar file in. Shadowheart was at the rear, and Nocturne's stomach flipped when she saw her - the way it always did. Even from that distance, she looked tired. Her usual perfect posture was slightly slumped, and she had allowed the long curtain of black hair to drop in front of her eyes. There was blood on her armour, and a little on her hands and face, but nobody seemed hurt. Nocturne's cleric in shining armour, returning victorious in battle. She watched as the senior quartermaster relieved Shadowheart of her weapons, and judged that enough time had passed. She left the book where it lay and went out into the cloister proper.

The first meeting was always strange. It was a thrill to approach her as though they were barely acquainted, but there was always the very potent fear that she wouldn't be able to reawaken the memories locked behind Shadowheart's pretty green eyes. Nocturne knew that, except for very rare and extreme circumstances, the mirror only suppressed memories rather than removing them outright. For all Sharrans valued loss, a cloister member that couldn't remember their allies wasn't much use to anyone.

"Hello, Shadowheart," she greeted her. She kept her smile polite in case one of Viconia's spies had their eyes on them, but she knew her eyes were beaming at her.

Shadowheart started to say hello in return, but paused. A frown of concentration scrunched her brow and Nocturne couldn't help her smile growing broader in encouragement. "I know you, don't I?" she asked.

"Rather well," Nocturne said, and leaned a little closer. "Come to the store room when you have a moment, I'll help you remember," she murmured. As always, her tone brought a slight flush to Shadowheart's face and Nocturne had to bite her lip. "Now," she said, returning to business, "if you'll let me take your armour you can go and wash the blood out of your hair."

Shadowheart half-helped Nocturne unclip and lift away the plate and chainmail, leaving her in dark leathers and directing her to the washrooms. For some reason Nocturne had never fully determined, Shadowheart never retained their location - but she suspected it had something to do with their occasional illicit rendezvous there. She tried so hard to be a good Sharran, and sometimes that meant trying to forget the things that set her apart from the others. It made Nocturne a little sad to be such a source of guilt for her, but the way Shadowheart smiled at her made all of that melt away. Surely that was a kind of loss, too.

Nocturne waited for her by the crates she used to obscure their hiding place, acting as though she were taking inventory. She wasn't there long before Shadowheart came to her, with her long hair down and still wet from washing. She had changed into the tight-fitting sleeveless leather she favoured, and she walked with the vulnerable air of someone who was not quite sure where she was. A gentle frown creased her brow, and Nocturne was pleasantly surprised to see it disappear when she caught sight of her.

"Come," she said, before Shadowheart could speak, and led the way past the crates and into their space behind the walls.

"I… I think I remember this place," Shadowheart said softly.

"Do you remember the flowers too?" Nocturne asked.

Shadowheart stepped a little deeper into the cave and looked around slowly, taking in the pale light and the blankets spread over the ground. "Night orchids," she said. "My favourites."

Nocturne smiled and bent down to gently snap a delicate stem, and then handed it to Shadowheart. She took it, and her hands lingered for a moment where their fingers touched.

"This has happened before," she said.

Nocturne nodded. "We have a system," she explained, taking Shadowheart by the elbow and leading her to sit down on the blankets. "To help you remember after a mission. First I give you the flower, and then you remember my name."

"But I don't - " Shadowheart started, but Nocturne shushed her gently.

"It takes a little time."

She sat next to her, and the two of them were quiet for a moment as Shadowheart turned the night orchid gently in her fingers. Nocturne waited for the moment she started to carefully invert the petals, bending them back against their natural curve until the flower splayed outwards instead of curling around the centre of the plant. Her hands relearned the movements a little slower every time, and the idea that one day it just wouldn't come back to her gnawed at Nocturne like a beast with prey. Eventually though, she saw her touch her thumb to the back of the petal and slide two fingers along the face until it yielded to her touch.

Shadowheart noticed Nocturne watching and gave her an inquisitive look out of the corner of her eye. "Is this part of the system too?"

"No," Nocturne said. "It's just something you do. A habit."

"I see."

Shadowheart laid the flower gently on the blanket in front of her and then pushed her hair out of her face.

"That's getting long," Nocturne pointed out, watching as Shadowheart ran her fingers through it so it didn't turn to knots before it dried. "Perhaps I should cut it for you."

"Do you do that for me?" she asked. Every time Nocturne was reminded of how fleeting her memories were it stung anew. How could she forget all the times they had sat together, in that very place, with scissors and stolen makeup and clothes? Every one of those days were precious to Nocturne, she couldn't imagine ever forgetting the feel of Shadowheart's sleek hair trailing through her fingers, or the thrill of experiencing her trust. She knew that Shadowheart couldn't help it, of course, the mirror took what it took and there was no rhyme or reason to it, but even so it hurt.

"Yes," she said. "Yes, I do."

"I know I trust you," Shadowheart blurted out, which made Nocturne wonder if she had a scroll of Detect Thoughts smuggled somewhere inside her leathers - though given how tight they were, it seemed unlikely. Just in case though, Nocturne made herself stop thinking about how nicely the black accentuated her pale skin, and the way the leather clung to her curves.

"We look out for each other," Nocturne said. She placed her palm gently against the back of Shadowheart's hand, and knew she was making progress when she didn't immediately yank it away. In the early days, when she had tried to jog her memory rather than coax it, she had made that mistake. "We grew up together."

"Nocturne!" Shadowheart said, her eyes widening with sudden recognition and then slamming shut in a wince of agony as the wound on the back of her hand pulsed with pain. Nocturne lifted her hand a little so Shadowheart could pull her own away, but she stayed where she was.

"You remember the scar, then," she commented.

"It hurt me before," Shadowheart said. "I was thinking of home then, I think."

"Do you remember more than my name?" Nocturne said, changing the subject away from what did and didn't draw Shar's ire.

"I… know how it feels to hold your hand." As she spoke, she turned her wrist until her palm was touching Nocturne's, and then curled her fingers so they were interlaced. "Like that."

Nocturne fell in love with her smile every time she saw it again.

"And I seem to remember hitting someone for you," she added.

Nocturne nudged her shoulder into Shadowheart's arm affectionately. "My valiant defender," she laughed. "Always defending my honour."

Shadowheart laughed too, but didn't seem amused. "Is that why they don't like me?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"The odd strange look, that sort of thing," Shadowheart said, and started picking at imaginary lint on her trousers. "Maybe they remember me elbowing them in the face."

Nocturne smiled. "You remember that?" She reached across her own body to touch the tooth-shaped scar on Shadowheart's elbow.

"It's coming back to me," Shadowheart said. Finally, Nocturne heard the confident tease seeping back into her voice - the playful lilt she only used with her. She might not remember everything yet, and maybe some things would stay repressed for a while, but the foundation of their relationship was back in place. Nocturne was happy to rebuild that particular church with her.

"Anything… specific?"

The first kiss after Shadowheart remembered was always special, and the gentle touch of their lips and the moment of tension before Shadowheart melted into her almost made the pain of losing her for so long worth it. Then Nocturne felt a hand snaking up the back of her neck into her hair, and she knew she could stop worrying. At least for now.

#fanfic #writing #baldur's gate 3 #whumpuary2024 #shadowheart #bg3 nocturne #whumpuaryno11 #Memories

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