#i remember when i was a kid i would say something and i wud forget id i ever said it

[urmomw4ntsme]

4, 23, 25, 15 for the ask game <3

hiiii lilyyyy <3 ty for the ask

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ok so it depended on which teacher u asked ig? cus my language teachers adored me (😋 academic validation yes) but my p.t. teacher LITERALLY H A T E D me like from day 1 to day last she LOATHED me i have a suspicion why but forget that but my science teachers also loved me mainly cus i was good at science then 😭

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

okay well we never had to read books for assignments but we had library books that were switched weekly from 5th grade right? and i wud say my fav book that i read out of those was probably 'The Twins at St. Clare's' by Enid Blyton or the Secret Seven series. i love love loveddd these ones i would literally beg around asking for who had the next book in the series so that i could exchange my current book with them next week. another series i literally loved sm was the fairy chronicles by J. H. Sweet. like, r u kidding me? just look at the names of some of the books they SOUND so good

and they are kind of spiderman-esque? like, i dont remember very clearly because i was literally 10 when i was reading these but i think it was smth like there is a secret fairy society and these girls are fairies but they can't tell their parents or any normal human but they have to save the world whenever there's smth wrong it was SOOO GOODDDD. anyway i'll stop ranting about them now 😭 (also one last thing, i loved the twins at st clare's sm that i actually googled if st clare's is a real school where i can convince my parents to let me go to BECAUSE IT SOUNDED SO AWESOMEEEE AAAA)

23. strange habits?

ok so out of the habits i do know that i have, some strange ones are:

i am one of those people who will crack(?) their bones sm it will either terrify you or piss you off. not kidding. i start with my back, the typical try to bend backwards with some kind of support halfway till your back, and then i twist my upper back all the way to the left and then to the right and it literally sounds like gunshots. (i think theres sm up with that, gonna go to the doc soon) next i crack all my knuckles etc etc etc i do it with my elbows and my knees too its sooo satisfying but it drives my dad crazy aksjks

i touch my nose a lot. this is smth i have noticed recently but i feel like whenever im having a convo with someone and dont know what to say i scratch the bridge of my nose or just touch it or smth and its SO SUSPICIOUS 😭 like i feel like the person's gonna think im hiding something or lying i promise im not suspicious im just nervous or smth 😭

i......sing. like, when you're saying smth but u realise that that sentence is a song lyric too and then why would u say it normally when u cud sing it like an i-deserve-a-grammy-person? yea. that. i do that a lot 😔 do u still think im cool

25. first song you remember hearing?

i donttttt knowww i guess it would be a lullaby or a nursery rhyme? i really dont remember any songs from my childhood 😭 like i guess i remember the theme of this one cartoon i used to watch which was called 'chhoti anandi' (its so cool i still sing it sometimes) but i think i was around 8-9 when i started watching it? pretty sure i listened to more songs at that time and before that too but ig thats one of them so 💪🏽

#its goes like #chitti si pitti si chappal ke sitti si chulbul si chhori hai woh #chutki me kar deti mushkil ki chhuti smth smth smth #yaaron me mukhiya basti ki budiya baato ki hai fuljhadi #ay ay ayyyyy ay ay KUCHI KUCHI PYARI PYARI CHHOTI ANANDI #i loved her sm ur my roman empire chhotianandi #the twins at st. clare's #secret seven #the fairy chronicles #ask games #enid blyton

[thesecretattic]

Another Bizarre Incident + something about Aditya at the end

I have no other option than dying thanks to his/their unwantedness, he himself had come go through the signs I’ll die while saying this that since he was also interested and we shared those signs till the very end I deserved a chance instead of getting rejected that too unequivocally due to superficial reasons. I have lost 8+ years of my life from 2015 bed ridden all alone abused at home crying and then his torture. I still remember frantically texting him my link (in 2018-19) again signs and coincidences I was scared that he’ll react in a very bad manner pls read my post which says how it has impacted my health and mind and BRAIN (physically) and he did he reacted in such a hostile dismissive way that I almost fainted my mother on the other end was torturing me to death, this is what my life was all about pls read everything from at least Jan-Mar 2023. I wanted to get hypnotherapy done to forget everything related to him after finishing my book and getting married to someone else but there was NO ONE he was my soulmate rest maximum are taken in today’s times i had told you it’s EASY for others NOT for me, he has made it impossible THEY ALL SEEM to share the same reason as him, I’m treated like an untouchable in India when one does something the rest COPY NO ONE WANTS TO EVEN TALK that is exactly what is going on and I feel like I’m already dead as if ppl can’t hear me, enough of innuendos I’m too sick I kept crying again

It occurred to me today that whoever was with him like his ex and all those who were close to him who were in his life, were very lucky they were the luckiest ppl on this planet. I wish I would’ve been exactly what he wanted, I can’t type much I’m coughing due to low pressure I am too ill that impacted tooth has given me an infection in my chest and all my head nerves have sensitised they are too tender and painful to touch. I wanted to share this incident - I was 15 and I was at the service centre to repair my 15 inch MacBook 💻 That area had a church and a cemetery right opposite that and lot of odd incidents have happened there with me and even my mother, she’s also a witness, there was a man who came out of nowhere and he was following me my mom and my brother when we were kids, he kept going everywhere we went, we crossed the signal to get rid of him my mother’s idea but he too crossed behind us and he kept crossing signals JUST LIKE US it was dusk after Magrib the cemetery was right there so I think it was a lost soul or it could be just some random old person with dementia, nonetheless I’ll share the other incident which is very weird, the weather is scary btw it’s like doom’s day is approaching and I’m too scared cuz I’m very ill so I get dreams where I see horrible explosions in the sky and the worst kind of thundering possible due to climate change threat, anyway we were at the service station (I was 15) my chest is quivering at the slightest sound while I’m writing this due to that infection and all the stress I had told u I will die I won’t be able to handle it. My book could’ve explained this incident but I’m dying with all the secrets, I had thought someone would ask me what the story was about but people are so boring, I was adding them for that contract marriage (I don’t think even platonic is possible for me so house mates one) and I thought if they’ll like the story and we’ll become acquainted with each other then we can try having that contract marriage (+ hypnotherapy) at times I feel like I want a normal relationship but my bf age is gone I was always that “type” and it’s too late, I really wish I would’ve been whatever he wanted, and now I don’t this anyone wud accept me, I feel like sharing a normal life with someone with complete “acceptance” for everything he rejected that’s the only way I’ll get my confidence back and realise that I wasn’t that unacceptable. He never wanted me, I was okay with the dark ugly pics (had to mention I realised he doesn’t actually look like that so u don’t have to assume he’s like those old photos the camera might be such) but I was okay with that and even when his fingers were looking dark again due to low res. camera and lights, inspite of the ring I was okay with that too and I cried so much I just never want to face him in real life I had stopped going to Malad in 2016 itself due to all that hate (repulsion) then I stopped going out and I haven’t left my room since 2017, I wish someone would’ve gotten me out of this exile, I never cared about the eyes and all I really don’t I never wanted this handsome or rose I wouldn’t have maintained a distance from fair and rich guys, I wanted to hold his hands in my thoughts as usual when I felt like I was dying or I couldn’t make it but now I can’t after the ring (pls read that story also it’s in my previous post) the devil killed one of the characters IN REAL LIFE I had Aditya singh’s screenshot in my hidden album it doesn’t have the death date cuz

he was alive back then, I had taken that cuz I had recently come across his profile I had not stalked though it was from Google that too because of the Singh Rajput surname from that show Pishachini I was making peace with the fact that it’s not Jayesh Rajput and that such surnames are common. Cuz I was insecure my name had come up with Harsh’s last name as Zara Rajput and there were several ZH even with heart (I have SHARED ALL EVIDENCE AND SCREENSHOTS in my previous posts) our initials and numbers (marriage related kept coming up) and now when I see that Aditya’s screenshot I feel horrible cuz it doesn’t have a death date, his SS was amongst all the hidden pics which have Jiya and Harsh etc. That too not many it’s all just evidence but not related to signs, just some of my rivals I don’t deem them as rivals he made them that but it just has their ugly shots (even other girls hehe) and a few other things which I clarified for my assurance. But his SS was amongst all this and he was a part of the story back then I didn’t even know he was his friend and one of the characters is dead now. At this point we should’ve been Serious, there’s a reason why he was killed read my prev post. It was for the ring which took away his hand from me. I can’t even hold it in my thoughts while dying my own hand is cold n numb n paralysed rn can’t type autocorrect mode I was okay even if those hands would’ve been actually dark like the pics I was okay I loved him so much I did feel like maybe someone should’ve accepted me in the same manner my hands are lighter (so are his or else he’ll blame me for lying it was just the camera) but the bottom line is I was okay even if it would’ve been real. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else’s hands I was okay with them cuz they were HIS. I just wanted “Harsh” I have 0 confidence I feel like my story (if you’ve read that Anu Gupta part) doesn’t matter like I have no right to voice it or narrate it, I feel like I don’t have enough respect or ppl don’t want to hear from me they don’t want to know they are all dismissive like him, they don’t value me and I’m not going to quote unrealistic soliloquies such as “If they don’t value you find new ppl” WHERE ARE NEW PEOPLE? I’m talking about ALL PEOPLE. I’m getting wheezing had to share that “teaser” before dying tonight, I just wanted ppl to realise that someone like me also will have something worthwhile to say and we should be given a chance I don’t know what separates me from you, and makes me an untouchable unspeakable online too, no one LITERALLY NO ONE wants to associate or talk either they have too many ppl in their lives or they are just busy copying him, he was my soulmate but he DIDNOT want me so I was waiting for someone else and my posts do reach out ppl notice I even send friend requests to find someone but none of them want a “reject”. I have to die I can’t even heal from his rejection he meant everything to me, like I said all those who were with him were the LUCKIEST of all, I can’t do my hypnotherapy to forget that or move on with someone else (WHY SHUD I BE ALONE ALL OF YOU GUYS GAVE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, it’s NOT my age to stay with my parents ppl get married and shift into their dreams homes I’ve seen several especially during Cov BUT my life has only gotten worse) it’s NOT normal their behaviour is not normal

If you are that conservative and you only want someone from ur HINDU religion then mention it on dating apps even that Taher who met me married some Gujju girl so Muslim guys don’t want us Hindu guys don’t want us or they only want money my OWN SOULMATE doesn’t want me, go thru the signs in prev hood posts, so what do they want? Its not about contract marriage someone should’ve actually made up for all those 10 years and accepted me the way I accepted him, inspite of his monetary status or lack of “popularity” (social status) complexion which was there in the pics or even looks (height and all even the double chin in 2014) I had to say that cuz I really wish I would’ve had someone like me for the first time I am saying “Like me” and not like Harsh. Why can’t all other men budge yaar? They only marry their mother a choice this is MODERN DAY INDIA? Yes mummy yes mummy waale dumb imbeciles, why can’t anyone man up and message? Flirt? Ask me out on a date? (You don’t have to flirt with others you can flirt with me all you want but only me) why can’t they ask if I need help with the book like a matured adult? Why can’t they APPROACH OR TALK TO A GIRL? They say na Sx is easy these days then where’s your spine? Can’t man up to even TALK? I’m done with this, what kind of boring c**ts do we have in India? They can sleep with those typical Lokhandwala behenjis who have that fake accent and same common “tone”, all those stupid bimbos they have a fetish they call them “cute” acc to them dumb girls are cute?!!

SHAME ON YOU can’t handle a bomb? Itna bada Tope hai aur bomb handle nahi kar sakta hai? This quote had come up for me “She’s fragile but now like a flower like a bomb” I had said another variation of my name means a flower and I never wanted to be recognised as that I’m not a flower 🌸 I’m not something that feminine or boring, I’m not some cliche representation of beauty, my spelling means light as a matter of fact and I’m happy about it.

I have no other option I am DYING DUE TO ALL OF YOU, had to share that bizarre incident to light the wick and drop that bomb before dying. - Zara Sauleh

[hifurio]

I literally never take in any info ever i was talking to an irl and i dont remember what i said but she responded like “haha yeah you are” and i was like huh? And she repeated what id said and then i was like OHHHH yeah

#.txt #the words leave mt mouth and rhey rake the backdoor out of my memory #i remember when i was a kid i would say something and i wud forget id i ever said it #id have to ask my one friend like did i say that or did i just imagine mysrlf saying it? #because i would forget #it still happens sometimes #like id forget i said it RIGHT after i said it

[undermattsun-archive]

japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

i go dwnstars, yelling ‘by mum!’ bfor laceing up my wite convrrse hightops (NOT blck becauz u cant sharpi on it) wth 1d lyrics scribbled on it. i rmb to draw a directioner infinite sign on mywrist. perfect, i think to mysdlf.

I never thot i would get to go to the olympics all the way on the other side of the planet in toky o japan! It was a dream come true for a simple, average, run of the mill girrl like me, who is 5’7 with naturally wavy hair, that’s not curly or strait and eyes as blue as the dark blue part of the ocean. 

I been dreaming of the olypoics since fetus. I just knew I had to be here, but I never thought it would actually happen. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a smezxy smexy boyfrwend! (A/n: Tee-hee! Maybe even two! (Or five! <333) haha! Aren’t I so quirky? <3)

I’m Wearing A Mint Green Crop Top That Ties In The Front And Some Denim Shorts With Black Converse. I Don’t Need Makeup Because My Skin Is Naturally Smooth And Clear And My Lips Are Already Red #wokeuplikethis And I Listened Only To MCR And P!ATD On The Plane Ride. I Bet You Dont Know Who They Are, THey’re My Favorite Banxds And Are Super GOod And Like Underground Bands. (A/n: Okay But If You Don’t LIke Welcome TO THe BLack Parade GTFO Of My FIc I Don’t Need YOu Here xoxo) 

ok so like,, im on my way to the olympics but then like, i get kidnapped !!! the car i was in was like super expensive and i cant see anything with the blindfold on. i hear voices of men all around me though, for like, a whole 30 minutes before they bring me somewhere and tie me up? "Take Her BLindfold off," one of them say, i hear. and im so nervous. but it's like a dream when they tug my blindfold off and im met with the prettiest emerald orbs ever looking back at me.

my stomach knotted in fear (more like an angry swarm of butterflies fluttering around ) i feel like screaming or squealing or both bc those eyes belong to someone so gorgeous . even more gorgeous than harry styles. hes like a god. i woukd so worship his foot. or something. (squee omg i can’t believe this is happening. i bet you wish that it was you huh?) 

bro who tf has emerald orbs green eyes im blanking rn

^ yo i was gonna ask i cannot for the life of me remember who

his #afff14 sppheres peered into my soul i really just felt seen. i took a deep breath before fainting he was just so pretty. *one hours later* i woke upa nd saw the pretty viridescent peepers staring into mine. like he was literally two inches away from my face omg i could feel his minty breath on my lips it smelled so good.

“My name is atsumu miya,” he said gruffly, the gruffness in his voice so gravely. “And me and me mates here think yer the most gorgeous girl weve ever seen. I blink up at him, orbs gleaming amd full of tears. 

“What do u mean, i’m just a normal quirky girl?” I say shakely, biting my lip. I bit my lip as the piss blond man spoke.

“You don’t know ur beautiful.” YOUR INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WAlk THROUGH THE DO OO OOOOOR

“U may be a normal quirky girl but ur OUR nroaml quirky girl now” his friend said with a deep voice. It was so deep that i almost thot it was like the ocean, he had curly balck hair and his eye were sooo mysterious (a/n i loooove sakusa i can’t believe him and his friends kindapped me omgggg XD)

“Stop it go away” osamu said (hee hee i can never remmber  tell which twin is which LOL i think its osamuuu) “no u have to share” sakusa responded angrily. I starred at them and didn’t know what theyd do next!

I looked over to he side ans see sakura pulling out hand sanitizer passing it around to his teamates. The green orbed boys huff as they put it on. i wished i could see his whole face hes so sedy, look over here pretty girl, i gasp pulled from my thoughts by their captain kita walking into the room with his hands on his hips and was theat aran? “You look even better in peroiusn” aran said to me, walking over to me “how do you know who i am?” i ask.

“listen bbygurl...” he yealls, pulling out a chair to sit acros from me. “you dont get to ask the questions, we are your new masters, and you shall do as we say.” i gulp nervously, my stomach feeling like a sharkndao is happening inside. “we hope u will be worth every penny we payed foru.” 

“M-m-m-masters?” my head felt like it was spinning in a teacup from disney land as i thought about what he just said to me. what did this mean? was i gooing to miss the olympics?? I wanted ot hate him with his super smug look on his face but i cant deny that he looks kind of hot and i’m into guys who look just like him,, the other guys r also relly attractive it makes my heart race. I look around trying to find answers when i make eye contact w a really really reall y tall guy who i thinks name is gao only to see another really really relly tall guy next to him,, hyakuzawa?

“what are yo going to do to me then?” ((*lenny face))

you ask, stomach bubbling. maybe i shoudnt have ateen that stale pizza earlier and washed it down with watermelon-lemon minute maid because now i felt like it was gonna come up. ((ew gross um tw vomit mention hehe)

“Dont worry were going to grab seme din din soon lil one,” one of them says. His name espapes me. Hes a ginger. They wont answer me for some reason and i suddenly miss my freedom when i would go to school (i go to an expesive private school for rich kids ahahah).

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??” i yell again batting my fists against the ginger but he doesnt even blink. Ive decided hes hot but in a short king kinda way. His hair reminded me of of like cheeto coloured fine thread woven into waves.,,, like the ocean xD (ans...this has an ocean theme)

sudenly there was another voice it was yalling “BOKE HINATA BOKER” i looked with my stricking dark blue orbs and there wasd inother pair of stricking dark blueor bs like the ocean and blck hair. his voicde was veryy deelp an sexxcy (a/n lololol i luv u gakeyama kun *w*)

theres suddenly a loud voice in ur ear screaming directly into ur eardrum " BAKA KAGYEAMA BAKA"  (wtf our they communicating ????  ? )    i cringe at the yellign and another pair of strong arms bulls me away . i land against a hard, solid chest, i can feel the six pack thru his track Suit. 

and then my alarm clock playin what makes u beatyful goes off n i woke up. 

amen.

i rub my eyes wakng up, starrn into the mirror at my super borng brwn ugly eyes and brsh my equaly borng brwn hair. i lok up at m wall and see harey stylz and niallr starinf back at me on t walls. i sigh dreamily. they wud twll me my brwn uairs beatufil. 

#i'm gonna kermit #my eyes hurt #my brain is dying #where am i #kidnapped by hq #tw wattpad

[the-lazy-kabaneri]

The God Experience

We all know god exists right? We were all brought up with the idea of a super being that reigns over all of us. He who is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent and the idea seems fairly acceptable given that there are a billion things we don’t understand about the universe

Enter religion with their claims to personalities of god. While some religions stick to only one god popularly know as .monotheism. Then there enters religions with 2 or more gods which were probably not happy with god having just one personality so they developed a whole badass story line which put popular TV shows like GoT to shame. Ofcourse both these types of religions are equally correct to their claims. 

I mean we never defined what or who or how the most powerful entity in this universe (or beyond) wud be like so by all the relevant scientific reasoning a theory has equal claim as compared to any of it s unproved counter theories unless proved otherwise. That said however the definition of god is pretty vague at this point.

This is where the problem arises. The proof of god is often the things we cant reason.  Oh hey a kid survived a surgery which only had a 5% success rate. This is a miracle. It only happened cause the child’s mother prayed day in and day out. This might make sense to a lot of people. I remember when I used to give exams and I would forget the answer I would fill it with all the vague detail I remember about the topic to make it sound acceptable. Well thats exactly whats happening here. We are using a definition which is not even properly defined to make the experience sound reasonable. 

Any undefined experience becomes God Experience.

So lets try an debunk this. As a guy who has always been curious about how things work, God was pretty much a taboo. A being whose existence if u dare investigate u will suffer. And much like every naughty kid ever I do what I was asked not to do. Thus I embarked on my journey to try and find out what god is using the available scientific theories which have been researched and accepted worldwide.

Lets investigate the powers of most powerful beings. In polytheist religions this varies from god to god with certain gods being stronger than others yet when it comes to humans Gods mostly know everything. In monotheist religion the god is pretty much defined as omniscient. So lets try and think how this is possible. The closest non god idea which is omniscient is the laplace’s demon, A being which is able to observe the momentum and position of every atom present in the universe. Then by using physics it can calculate the time and place of every event that will and has occurred Ofcourse this theory was criticized by many which you can read here.

http://www.informationphilosopher.com/freedom/laplaces_demon.html

But as such the theory went against one of the most well accepted idea that is the Heisenberg's uncertainty principle which states that it s impossible to know the exact momentum and position of an electron mainly due to three reasons. The first two being the fact that electron infact is a pocket of wave which occurs due to overlapping o waves (not a single wavelength) and hence has a range of position as opposed to one single value of it s position...both these reasons we are not exactly interested in The third reason being that to observe an object we must process information it is giving off. As we do not know what kind of information it might be providing we send a piece of information and then read the information it provides in exchange for that particular information which in day to day life is light.

However whenever light falls on an electron it transmits energy and the momentum and position of the electron changes. By the same reason if God were to know everything about the universe he would have to send out a signal and read it when it comes back. This information could change the world as we perceive it. 

Another reason being, for the laplace demon to exist and know everything it would either have to account for the changes it s existence brings about or be perceiving the whole universe in a such a way that it does not influence.

 Now this idea has appeared in religion too, with god being present in a different dimension therefore not interfering with this world matter and being able to safely observe and predict the changes. This idea not only removes the paradox of what the existence of an omniscient being might bring to reality but also explains omnipresence of god.

However this will oppose the Omnipotence of God. How? Well if God is infact a laplace demon sitting in heaven dimension looking at us then by “listening” to our pleas and interfering with our dimension they add their own factor into this world. Basically they will again have to account for all the changes that were brought about by it  s interference. However this time it would not be possible. Why you ask? Cause God will have to account for something that is not accountable at all. A change the god caused could not be calculated whatsoever. 

Till now u could say that particle A collided with particle B and then traveled towards particle C and so on. However god interfered and made it so that Particle A collides with Particle E and not particle B thereby causing a huge chain reaction completely changing the whole future. Not only that but when the path of these particles wud be traced back, all the computers in heaven wud go red with error dialog boxes. To account for this maybe the software god will update software and insert the GOD EXPERIENCE as a factor into the computer calculations. However by doing so it effectively made itself a part of our universe thereby going against the previously set rule that God exists in another dimension.

So my conclusion?

Well i cant really prove that god does not exist. However I have scientific explanation, though very vague (and has no scientific experiments to disprove of god’s interference) is more acceptable according to the laws of this universe.

God Experience does not exist even if god exists. TO maintain it s superiority a superior being will have to be completely cut off from our realm and miracles merely lack of explanations, not explanation of god.

I would like to end this with something my smart friend once said to me.

There are only actions and consequences.

[parrots-not-in-london-anymore]

Hello! There were haha, rip those messages. I had been trying to pinpoint what was making me so wary about the idea of thomas being alive, bc? it should be a good thing! Its thomas! Flint loves him! & read what you said about how he'd be a stranger-to flint & the audience. Its exactly what?? made me almost uncomfortable as soon as it was brought up on the show. Thomas being alive would be amazing but it wud also be, strange?

Oh that’s a bitch! I always get fucking furious when Tumblr eats shit I’ve written -.- I’m sorry :( 

Now about my thoughts on Thomas. I’ll paraphrase a convo I had with @ellelan​ that really helped me crystallise what bothers me about it.  

Here’s the deal: there’s no such thing as going back in time.  

I feel Flint should move FORWARD not backwards. I think his whole problem is his obsession with the past.

And either the writers use that against us (which would be the smart move) or they decide to erase 10 years like it didn’t happen (unlikely and very obtuse). I also think it gives Silver the flimsiest of excuses to get rid of Flint. Suddenly, its “well I gotta send him to the farm up state to live with his true love" 

But I think Silver and Flint are more intelligent than that, regarding this possibility of Thomas. I would hope they were, anyways. 

As appealing as the notion of “happily ever after” may be, I cannot believe Silver and Flint would not immediately acknowledge what I acknowledged: that Thomas wont be the same man he was and that Flint most certainly is not the man he was.

Its like me going back to my high-school sweetheart and suddenly be in a relationship with this person 10 YEARS after we had a crush on each other. I’ve seen him now. The pull is there but its the pull toward something that doesn’t exist anymore. He isn’t the person he was when we were in school. And neither am I! Its just… nostalgia. Wishful thinking. The loss of what might’ve been. Missing what cannot be. 

Like Dumbledore once told Harry, when he was obsessed with looking at his parents in that mirror that showed you what you wanted: “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” Stop looking at the reflection of your dead parents in that mirror, you dumb kid, GO LIVE! 

And how terrifying is the possibility of this reunion? Which is what I thought was very interesting in that meta post I replied to. How terrifying would that be for Flint? To have to face the person in whose name he claims he did all this? And actually get it from the horse’s mouth if his actions over the course of 10 years were justified? I think Flint might say NO THANK YOU to that faster than Silver can offer the possibility to him. Because he knows Thomas would NOT approve.

But the possibility of closure… is a very powerful temptation, isn’t it? The possibility of absolution? Validation? And on top of that there’s also the lies we tell ourselves. That maybe, JUST maybe, we CAN go back to how things were; we CAN have it again. And all of that presents an amazing storytelling opportunity. I can see that now. 

Using Thomas to cut through Flint’s self-delusion is a great idea and its gonna HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. Good luck everyone! 

So its either gonna be a cop out of Flints comeuppance or its gonna be a tragedy that overshadows all other tragedies and I just… I need them to focus on the NOW and not the before. It just changes the stakes completely.

I fear it may cheapen what there is between Silver and Flint. 

Silver is the most important relationship for Flint now. James McGraw doesn’t exist anymore. Flint does. And if I’m forced to watch as Flint abandons Silver and his life in Nassau for some illusion of going back in time… I’m gonna be PISSED.

Because Silver loves him for who he is now. The terrible, terrible man he is in the present. And not who he was.  

I fear Flint might try to “chase the sunset” like I wrote in my fic. I fear this introduction of Thomas will drive him to that. To chase what cannot be. A dream. A memory. A tainted idea of Thomas in his head. And be absolutely destroyed by what he finds. 

Because if he couldn’t let go of this damn idea for Nassau, how the fuck is he gonna let go of THAT one? 

#black sails #black sails meta #thomas hamilton #silverfint meta #silverflint #thomas x james #black sails spoilers #john silver #james flint #james mcgraw #And maybe it’s my shipper heart talking but what I want is... #Don't you wanna go be with your true love Flint? #No. Because you're my true love now Silver #THE END. Thank you. All the golden globes. #Anonymous