#i was going to tag this hermit kingdom but that's already an entirely different thing that i maybe don't need to be poking at

[cattimeswithjellie]

Anyway, with this whole King Ren thing, I am very into all the analyses of whether or not this is a whole Red King Renaissance or if King Ren on Hermitcraft is an entirely different thing, or if they're the same guy but the Red King never really had a chance to dream about infrastructure because he was neck deep and rising in a murder game by the time he even showed up. (Uh, insert insensitive jokes about necks and beheading here, I guess.)

Whatever the analysis you prefer, I'm very excited for the upcoming stress test of these theories when somebody absolutely Starts A War about it. I give it two weeks, maybe three if Double Life is being particularly splodey. There is no way that the Hermits are going to accept a monarchy, even the most benevolent one, laying down. I mean, these are the same people who decided they should have a mayor, had a mayoral race, elected the person they thought was the best candidate, watched him fulfill his main campaign promise, and then Started A War over it anyway. (And by "these same people" I obviously mean "mostly Grian.")

My initial prediction is that Ren is going to win the hearts and minds of people who really really like infrastructure and a cleaner server. He's got Bdubs, obviously, and I bet he can get hold of people like False (likes things orderly), Xisuma (thinks it's funny when other people try to be in charge of things), and Doc (desperately wants an excuse to rain hellfire and damnation on Grian). Scar is going to be very torn because he loves roads and infrastructure but also loves chaos and teaming up with Grian to be absolute gremlins. I will predict he does end up on Team Ren just because the Magic Kingdom branding is too strong. (secondary prediction, he declares himself King because he has the best kingdom and becomes a third party to the war).

I'm assuming Grian is going to be at or near the front of the No Kings war effort just because that is how he do, but I'm looking forward to a possible warrior-bard turn from Joe Hills who seems unusually motivated about the whole king thing. Where Joe goes, so likely will go Cleo, if only to laugh at him, and I foresee most or all of Team ZIT also getting into it for the anarchy alone. Pearl may join in on the resistance side as well just for the chance to be feral and prank things, and the rest of the Hermits will probably take sides or not as the situation develops.

Or I could be totally wrong about all of it, but that's the fun part!

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #renthedog #grian #goodtimeswithscar #joe hills #zombiecleo #and all the rest #i was going to tag this hermit kingdom but that's already an entirely different thing that i maybe don't need to be poking at #King of the Roads maybe #also i know it was apparently a misclick but when bdubs demanded to be ruled and ren instantly slapped him and then got embarrassed #it seemed a lot like he just misunderstood the nature of the assignment there for a minute #ah the block people they are terrible and i love them

[loopyhoopywrites]

Novel Prep Tag Game

Thanks @paula-writes for the tag! Long post, so some of it’s under the cut.

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch).

Prince Cedrix reluctantly attempts to rescue a damsel in distress, but fortunately finds neither damsel, nor distress. Together, Cedrix and the not-a-damsel set off on a Quest to track down the last remaining copy of The Hermits Guide to Friendship (Volume 4) in order to figure out what ‘dating’ is.

2. How long do you plan your novel to be?

The first draft is looking like it’ll be around 50K, but I know I’ll end up expanding it when I edit.

3. What’s your novel’s aesthetic?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail meets Galavant meets BBCs Merlin, except way more queer. Or alternatively, ‘Douglas Adams writes fantasy’.

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

The whole novel was inspired by that one scene in MP’s Holy Grail where one of the knights goes to rescue a princess, and is horrified to discover a prince instead. My queer brain was like, hmm, what if he was pleased to find a prince, and voila. 

I was also inspired by the lack of stories featuring queer characters that weren’t stories about being queer. Like, I want to read about non-binary characters without having to read about being non-binary. I get enough of that in my daily life.

5. Share 3+ images that give the feel of your novel.

Yeah I don’t really have any. Sorry.

6. Who is your protagonist?

I consider the whole Dumbass Squad my protagonists, but I suppose my main dude would be Prince Cedrix. He’s simultaneously incredibly capable and dumb as a box of rocks, and I love him.

7. Who is their closest ally?

That would be the rest of the Dumbass Squad; Sir Swordasome, If-Thou-Dost-Not-Repent-Thou-Wilst-Be-Eternally-Damned, and Tim. 

8. Who is their enemy?

Out of everyone in the novel, Moonshine Looseleaf III probably comes closest to being an ‘enemy’. He’s a lawyer, need I say more?

9. What do they want more than anything?

Tim.

10. Why can’t they have it?

I mean it’s pretty much love at first sight, so...

The issue isn’t so much that he can’t have Tim, it’s just that sweet sweet slow burn whilst they figure out their relationship and get to know each other.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Probably that he’s above everyone else. He kind of has this hard to explain mindset where he doesn’t think he’s better than other people, just that he’s above them. He is a prince, so you can kind of see where he might get that idea.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Here’s Tim and Cedrix :)

13. What is the internal conflict?

That delicious, tropey as heck slow burn romance. Heck yeah.

14. What is the external conflict?

Tracking down that gosh-darned book.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Anything bad happening to Tim. Or his kingdom. But this is a happy story so nothing even remotely bad is going to happen.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Um, nothing? Unless you count Tiff tattling to her father that cousin Cedrix is dating a wizard.

17. Do you know how it ends?

Yep! No spoilers, but it’s definitely a Happy Ever After.

18. What is the theme?

Who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Not so much a symbol but a] people not recognising Cedrix and b] Tim forgetting he has magic and/or losing his wand despite it always being up his sleeve.

20. Where is the story set?

Faux Medieval Britain, roughly seven locations across three kingdoms. A tower, two bookshops, an island, a nightclub, and two palaces.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your head already?

I have pretty much the entire novel planned out, and half of it written. The only bit I still need to figure out is the scene with Moonshine, but that’s because I have no idea how to write a furious hermit lawyer.

22. What excited you about this story?

So much! I’m excited about my OCs, and about including so many queer characters. I’m excited about playing around with tropes and fairy tale elements, and putting my own spin on them. I’m excited because writing comedy is so much fun, and because other people actually seem to find it funny? And I’m excited because for the first time I can actually see myself finishing a full length novel, which is pretty cool.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

I tend to write by hand, because a] it stops me from being a perfectionist and helps me focus on just getting words down, no matter how rubbish, and b] adhd + laptop = far too many distractions. Then I’ll edit as I type, so the version on my laptop usually ends up quite different from what’s in my [many] notebooks.

#tld #ask game #tag game

[iamchikara]

Results for Chikarasaurus Rex under the cut. As with yesterday’s results, only point gains will be recorded. Point totals will not be touched, as they are still in flux due to the Regency Furniture results fiasco. A full update to the point standings covering all three shows, as well as any others that happen in the interval (next one is in October so I really hope this isn’t dragged out for a month) will be done once those results are released.

Match #1: Singles Contest John Francis of Coronado vs. Jakob Hammermeier w/Der Wildebeest John Francis is starting to morph into this weird mish-mash of previous American-hero types, as he used the big boot and legdrop, several of John Cena’s moves, the Angle Slam, and the ankle lock. I’m not sure how to feel about that. Anyways, the ankle lock made Jakob submit. WINNER: John Francis of Coronado (1 point) Match #2: Tag Contest, Campeonatos de Parejas Defense #1 Travis Huckabee and Tony Deppen vs. Lucas Calhoun and Stray Kat First fall went to F.I.S.T. with a small package on Calhoun after a corner kick doubleteam...and then the second fall went to them as well, as Deppen hit a double stomp on Kat while Huckabee had her in the stretch muffler. For how long we had to wait for this first defense, F.I.S.T. taking it in two straight is a bit of a disappointment for me, though at the same time it also conveys the renewed dominance that F.I.S.T. has displayed lately. WINNERS: Travis Huckabee and Tony Deppen Match #3: Singles Contest Missile Assault Man vs. Kobald MAM got the win by submitting Kobald with the Sharpshooter, then was attacked by Hallowicked and Frightmare. Lucas Calhoun and Stray Kat came to MAM’s aid, with Calhoun telling MAM that he couldn’t fight the world alone before they shook hands. Trio #15? WINNER: Missile Assault Man (1 point) Match #4: Singles Contest Fire Ant vs. Cajun Crawdad Crawdad spent the entire match trying to blind Fire, but got put away with a brainbuster after Fire got sick of that. WINNER: Fire Ant (1 point) Match #5: Singles Contest BLANK vs. Penelope Ford This is prob’ly Ford’s last CHIKARA match, as she’s full time with AEW starting next month. Accordingly, BLANK ended his obsession with the Color Wheel. Post-match, he called out Still Life for King of Trios. Considering that we haven’t actually gotten much of a reason for the breakup of the Nouveau Aesthetic beyond BLANK’s obsession with Ford and Still Life having other things to do, it’s weird that we get to this point right now and not, say, at the Season finale or something. WINNER: BLANK (1 point) Match #6: Singles Contest, Grand Championship Defense #1 (as undisputed champion) Dasher Hatfield vs. Mick Moretti Lot of interesting notes described to me from commentary. Technically, this is Dasher’s eighth defense, though first as undisputed champion. Moretti’s facepaint resembled that of one of the Baseball Furies from The Warriors, with suggestions that he was using it to get under Dasher’s skin. Most harshly, Sidney Bakabella claimed that Dasher asked for the match to go on early so he could go home and be with his kids...even though Boomer’s match was on later. See? Toxic! Described as a hot back and forth match, and Dasher successfully retained. WINNER: Dasher Hatfield INTERMI...no, not quite, pre-taped interview from Ophidian hyping up Matt Makowski. Someone possibly jumped the gun with that, but considering how disruptive the Crucible’s been lately, it fit right in with their modus operandi. Then INTERMISSION. It’s time for the Crucible’s presence on this show, as the ropes are down and Ophidian brings out his entire cadre including their referee. Match #7: Crucible Exhibition #1 Matt Makowski vs... Thief Ant is out to answer the challenge, but is shut down fairly quickly and made to tap out with a cross armbreaker. WINNER: Matt Makowski (1 point...I guess? If our esteemed Director of Fun is legitimatizing this whole thing...) Match #8: Crucible Exhibition #2 Evan Matthew Demorest vs... Still Life answers this one, to a huge reaction from the crowd. Unfortunately for Still Life, they didn’t fare any better than Thief, and the match was stopped after they were knocked out with the Demoralizer (a variant of the Last Ride powerbomb). WINNER: Evan Matthew Demorest (1 point...I guess? It’s being treated as a legit part of the show...) Ophidian issues a third open challenge on the behalf of Tunku Amir... Match #9: Crucible Exhibition #3 Tunku Amir vs... ...which is answered by a voice in the crowd screaming “I WILL!” and Jawbreaker Josue/Joey, accompanied by Xavier Faraday and Josh Wells, appears. Joey scored what looks to be the first actual victory against the Crucible cadre, forcing Amir to submit, then racing out of the building with Wells and Faraday, leaving Ophidian to fume and berate Amir before leading his followers out. WINNER: Jawbreaker Josue/Joey (1 point...I guess? Didn’t go Ophidian’s way...) INTERMISSION AGAIN Mike Quackenbush is out to address the crowd. As he apparently suffered an injury at Earning The Lucha Libre Merit Badge, he’s withdrawing from his match on here, and has handpicked Hallowicked as Joey Janela’s opponent. Match #10: Singles Contest Hallowicked vs. Joey Janela In what’s prob’ly Janela’s last CHIKARA match as well (same situation as Ford), he scored the victory with a top rope elbow drop. I don’t get why that happened, but it did. Hopefully some kind of deal can be worked out with AEW, so that he can at least come back and not sit in the inactive part of the standings. WINNER: Joey Janela (1 point) Match #11: Trios Contest The Crucible (Lance Steel, The Whisper, and Devantes) vs. the Creatures of the Deep (Oceanea, Merlok, and Hermit Crab) Bouncing back from their utter humiliation earlier in the show, the Crucible returned to form here, as Devantes pinned Merlok after a TKO. Post-match, the Queen of the Deep was not happy in the slightest with her charges, berating and hitting the big fish in her fury, then told her subjects that they’d regret it if they kept losing. Oceanea, I love ya but they’ve been losing all along and you haven’t done a thing about it, what makes you think they’re going to take that threat seriously? WINNERS: The Crucible Match #12: Singles Contest Princess Kimberlee vs. Solo Darling Kim returned to CHIKARA in strong fashion, defeating Solo with the Alligator Clutch after a Ganso Bomb. Post-match, she shook Solo’s hand, then addressed everything that has been going on. (Below is the transcription, provided by Freakin’ Awesome Network forum lildude8218) "This is just Kimber Lee here for a minute. I need to get real with you guys. Everybody has a past. Every single person here. And in Pittsburgh mine hit me smack in the face. It's something I've ran from for SO LONG and so far even to the point where I gave up my crown to keep this hidden from you. I was a different person in the past, everything you heard it wasn't wrong. I did use Lance Steel as a stepping stool to get where I am. But here's the thing: in life we all do things we regret but it's what you do afterwards that defines who you are. And I am a different person now. So this crown jewel is going to do whatever it takes to make things right." Ophidian interrupts her. "I know how you can make peace with your past. You call yourself the Princess. The Crown Jewel. But you have no kingdom. You have no purpose. The way to make peace with Lance Steel and the Whisper is by becoming a resource of the Crucible." He tells the Whisper to get in the ring and pay his respect. He tells Kim to do the same. She does. "Your new purpose is to lead me and my team to victory at King of Trios. Leave!" So yes, the deep, dark secret that Princess Kimberlee has been harboring for years, the one that she left CHIKARA to protect, the one that she let herself be first blackmailed over and now outright conscripted, is that she was a jerk to Knight Eye 4 The Pirate Guy years ago. This is something that everyone paying attention to Wrestling is Fun! at the time already knew, that anyone not in the know could easily look up, and that I’ve never seen anything even remotely resembling an outcry over. The past is past. People change. We all know that. Dwelling on regrets and holding onto things long past their relevance isn’t healthy. Why Kim let herself be bothered by something like that this far into the future from it is...concerning. Perhaps she’s weaker-willed than we all thought. Who knows? WINNER: Princess Kimberlee (1 point) Match #13: Singles Contest Volgar w/Professor Hugo Nicodemus vs. Boomer Hatfield Boomer tried his best to fight back from the underdog position, even nearly surprising Volgar with a bulldog off the top, but Volgar scored the victory in the end. WINNER: Volgar (1 point) Match #14: Tag Contest Xyberhawx 2000 (Danjerhawk and Razerhawk) vs. Cornelius Crummels and Sonny DeFarge Danjer scored the win for his team with an O’Connor Roll pin on Crummels. Man, those legitimate businessmen can’t catch a break lately, can they? WINNERS: Xyberhawx 2000 (1 point) Match #15: MAIN EVENT, Singles Contest, JKI Finals Green Ant vs. Ophidian Green Ant attempted some psychological warfare by coming out with an Ophidian mask on over his own, but Ophidian wasn’t having any of it and bumrushed him (and even rolled out of the CHIKARA Special) before tapping him out. Post-match, the Crucible paid their respects to end the show. WINNER: Ophidian (1 point...JKI is one point per round adding up to the three)

#CHIKARA #Chikarasaurus Rex #Results