#i was too lazy to open my other spreadsheets in the project but i probably could've gotten clearer/longer plateaus

[rubberbandballqueen]

About your tags: is there more that you can share about the OW fandom and fics? This was a phenomenon I wonder about too. It was one of the most popular fandoms around 2017-2018, but the way the fandom stopped on its tracks around 2019 was hard not to notice. Especially from people who didn't play the game but were aware of it's fandom.

oh! overwatch is one of about 50-ish fandoms i track for this one spreadsheet project i do as a hobby (which i Technically blog about @fandom-data-scientist, but i've been too lazy to do a proper writeup to explain what the hell it is i do), wherein i try to answer the age-old question: when did the weebs move to ao3?

(the answer is late 2015/early 2016. most likely this was in large part a result of undertale and sports anime, but that's currently just my own conjecture)

According To My Research(tm), the overwatch fandom peaked in late 2016/early 2017 when it comes to the number of new fics posted per month. after this, it declined quite rapidly, as it didn't even get to enjoy a plateau period.

(there's a reason why the plots are really wonky towards the end of this graph-- it's bc i found the past dates for number of fics archived to a particular site via the wayback machine. since those snapshots are typically bot crawls, the number of fics shown on the fandoms listings will not include fics that have been archive-locked. although i technically started this project in august 2022, i did not add overwatch to my tracking list until this june/july or so. my current guess for the small uptick in the rate of ow fics published to ao3 in october 2022 is that the sequel came out? and then the rate plunged for january 2023 bc of the ai scraping scare that happened at around that time-- nearly every single fandom i track had a significant drop right then bc everyone was archive-locking their fics. the rate shooting up in like july 2023 on this chart is bc like i said, that's when i added ow to my list of tracked fandoms; because i'm logged into my own ao3 acct when checking these numbers live, i get access to the archive-locked fics and so the display number goes up.)

in my experience, fandoms will generally kind of plateau in their fic production after their peak, which will ofc normally gradually taper off. games that receive regular lore or story updates probably have fairly long or stable plateaus, although i haven't made scatterplots or made any comparing analyses to prove this rigorously. this plateau period generally represents a time of fandom stability as the fair-weather, casual, or migratory slash fans run off to the next big thing.

if we ignore the fact the plague and quarantine happened, we can see a nice, steady, and very consistent plateau period for the danganronpa fandom from about 2018-2020!

let's look at an older fandom, like my archnemesis final fantasy:

granted, the ao3 numbers are kind of all over the place these days, but you kind of get my point by now, right? that healthy fandoms tend to plateau as the wind carries away the faintly-interested and leaves the long-haulers behind to form their communities.

overwatch struck me as unusual when i was on one of my long wayback machine trips because of the way there was a net increase of only two fics published from 1 july 2021 to 1 october 2021, when before then it had usually been in the hundreds or so. i then went on a work tangent n googled around n more or less concluded it had Something to do with some kind of scandal with the development company, but otherwise i don't really have any more comments on it hahaha.

#asks #Anonymous #long post #i was too lazy to open my other spreadsheets in the project but i probably could've gotten clearer/longer plateaus #out of some of the western tv shows i've been tracking. like glee. or spn. #glee is INCREDIBLY funny to me bc of the way it just DIES right after the finale. like a bubble POPPING #although frankly maybe naruto would've been a better example for a peak n a plateau bc of how steady its fandom is #anyway this felt kind of like an odd ask to answer on this blog bc i keep it Very Separate from my fandom blog(s) hahaha #anyway i also looked at the rate of fic postage for the kingdom hearts fandom n although i didn't talk abt it here in this reply #i thought it interesting how it seemed to plummet on ffn around when ao3 n tumblr started getting a foothold #and then after the weebs moved to ao3 post-undertale/sports anime boom it had a nice steady 300-ish fics/month there #ANYWAY the reason final fantasy is my archnemesis for this project is bc ffn has each game split into its own category #and so i have to count them all up every single time n when doing that for every single fucking date i have marked in the wbm #for 20 YEARS' WORTH OF DATES. well. it upsets a man just a little bit. #BUT I'M DONE I DID MY TIME ON THE FINAL FANTASY BACKLOG I'M FREE NOW I JUST HAVE TO DO IT EVERY THREE MONTHS WHEN I RECORD LIVE DATA #i talk abt this shit at parties btw. people love to hear me talk abt my fandom spreadsheets at parties.

[inkofamethyst]

May 25, 2021

You know, I often see posts on r/audiodrama complaining about how fiction podcasts so often resort to the “recorded messages” or “fake real podcast” style of storytelling.  They believe that this style is getting old, and that writers who use it are lazy, generally, and that it would be better if writers instead made series that didn’t acknowledge the concept of a listener at all.

I would like to defend the “character speaking into a recording device” tool, especially for newer audio dramas and new fiction podcast writers.

So like, one of the hardest things I’ve found when writing an audio drama (ayyyy I done did it!!) is that you have to have boundaries within which your story takes place so your audience feels... for lack of a better word, safe.  Secure, really.  This also provides a layer of security for the writer as well because they start off with lines that they cannot cross.  Working within the sphere of “the audience will only hear when the main character is being recorded” is a pretty good boundary to start off with!  And this boundary can be broken as time goes on and as the writer becomes more comfortable (which is what happened in Wolf359 and The Bright Sessions).

On a more personal note, I actually like the idea of being a listener.  Maybe it’s my ~theatre background~ but audience awareness can be really really cool!  Sure, maybe books tend to not use the journal style (and television/movies even less so), but that doesn’t mean that it audio fiction can’t adopt styles that are sort of like an industry standard.  Like, you know how a number of sitcoms (I’m specifically thinking about Bernie Mac, but I’m pretty sure there are others) pull characters off to the side to share their thoughts directly with the audience, like a stage whisper?  Personally, it’s not my favorite thing to see in a sitcom, but I do think that it can be considered a standard of the genre.

idk.  Maybe I haven’t listened to enough audio dramas yet, and maybe this style will get old.  But for now, I understand why early writers especially may default to it, you know?

Got the last two responses to the spreadsheet thing from yesterday, by the way.  I’m still fighting against the cloud of thoughts that could be running though my mind.

Also got my final grades back for all of my classes.  A+ in humanities, genetics, and archaeology, A in organismal bio, A- in gen chem II lab, B in gen chem II.  Could I have done better?  Yeah, probably.  Am I still satisfied?  ...Sure, I’ve still got a 3.9ish GPA :)

And, frankly, I’m just happy to have ended up with an A+ in my humanities class, who cares about whether the project actually turned out, well, good (actually, I care very very much and I def regret the fact that I didn’t apply myself to it as much as I wanted to).

This is really random, but listen, I know I’ve listened to the Skyrim soundtrack many times over and all, but The Opened Way from the Shadow of the Colossus soundtrack????  That is a banger of some boss battle music.  Hypes me up every single time.  UGH I haven’t listened to it in years and I feel like I could conquer the world right now.

Anyway I was on Pinterest today and like,,,, okay.  I enjoy the DreamSMP as much as the next 20 year old who was part of fandom culture in their teens, but I often forget that the majority of this fandom is comprised of girls who are probably a few years younger than me, right?  So I saw this thing on Pinterest which was all “~quotes I can’t believe came from a mc roleplay~” AND LIKE,,,, THE NUMBER OF THEM WHICH WERE LIKE, I MEAN YEAH THEY WERE PROBABLY IN A DSMP STREAM BUT THEY CERTAINLY HAD BEEN SAID BEFORE THAT, like “all good things must come to an end eventually” (have you ever read Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost my friend (which I realize does have that exact quote, but the sentiment expressed is the exact same)) and “we have been overlooked for way too long” (girl if you don’t go and read some militant civil rights speech somewhere) and “history is written by the winners” (I-- this is quite literally one of the first things they teach in a middle school social studies class my friend) PLEASE can these children go and read some poetry or idk pay attention in English class or something PLEASE.

And do not mistake my exaggerated, partly sarcastic exasperation for internalized misogyny, please.  I think I’m mostly over that, and I recognize that since the fandom is probably made mostly of teenagers with nothing but time on their hands and the internet in their hands, I should probably cut them some slack.  It’s just... that gave me whiplash okay.

Kinda wanna mess around and make a pjo-inspired dnd campaign this summer.  

I also started back reading that book I’d never finished from last summer!!  20% left to go!!  It wasn’t all that hard to pop back in, actually.  I think after this one I’ll go into the one that was sent to me by my internship.

Ugh, speaking of which.

Alright, so for my internship, I have to go through a training module and take some quizzes right?  But I can’t speed up any of the videos and it’s painfully slowwww.  Like, I’ve been listening to my lectures on at least 1.25x speed, sometimes as fast as 1.75x or 2x if the professor speaks super clearly at 1x.

How am I to be expected to go back to listening to lecturers at normal speed for up to five hours in a day????  Ugh.

Now, part of me wants to, you know, ch**t my way through this module.  Like, the way I could just, so easily speed my way through the html/written versions of the modules and ctrl+F my way through the quizzes.  

Today I’m thankful that it was so easy to get back into that book I began a whole year ago omg.  I really did not want to go back to the beginning... I probably would’ve just dnf’ed at that point tbh.

[hawthornewhisperer]

How about Bellarke + taking part in a social experiment where strangers have to kiss each other? (If you google 'twenty strangers kiss' you'll see what I mean - sorry I can't include a link because Tumblr :/ )

Clarke checked her hair in the mirror one last time.  “How on earth did you get this project approved?” she asked Lincoln, who was fiddling with the video camera.

“I almost didn’t.  Getting this through the IRB was a nightmare,” he replied.  “Did you sign your consent form?”

“It’s on top of your bag.  Lipstick, or no?”

“Your call.  The whole installation is about the choices individuals make,” he said, now climbing a ladder to readjust a light.

“I’ll skip it.  Wouldn’t want my partner to feel like I was trying to mark them, or anything,” she decided.

Lincoln consulted a spreadsheet on his laptop.  “Okay, you’re group A, so out that door to your left. I’ll call you in, one at a time.”

The rest of Lincoln’s subjects were standing awkwardly in the waiting room when Clarke joined them.  She was sort of surprised at the turn out for an all-volunteer art project, but then again, “come make out with a stranger on camera” was probably a fairly easy sell on a college campus.

Everyone shuffled their feet and exchanged grimacing, nervous smiles.  After filming they were supposed to leave out the main door of the studio, which meant people disappeared one by one and didn’t reappear, giving the whole thing a rather unsettling air.

Finally, Lincoln opened the door and waved her in.  He had set up a corner of the studio like a cozy sitting room, with a small sofa and a pile of cushions on the floor.  Her partner wasn’t in yet— Lincoln was at the opposite door— so she settled down on the cushions to wait.

Her partner emerged and Clarke’s mouth went dry.  She knew Lincoln had some hot friends, but he’d really outdone himself with this one.  Broad shoulders, messy dark hair, and forearms that made her want to watch him split wood like Captain Fucking America.

And then he smiled and she was a goddamn goner.

“Hey,” he said easily, settling into the cushions next to her.  “I’m Bellamy.”

“Clarke,” she said, doing her best to forget that Lincoln was taping all of this, and that there was a clock somewhere, counting down their time.  Each couple got five minutes to use as they chose, so long as the interaction ended in some form of an embrace.

Bellamy reclined, his body parallel to her.  “How do you know Lincoln?”

“Art major.  He was my TA last year.  You?”

Bellamy threw Lincoln a mock-dirty look.  “He’s dating my sister.”

Now that he said it, Clarke could see the similarities— Bellamy and Octavia had the same jaw, and the same sharp cheekbones. Also, both were too-hot-to-be-allowed, quite frankly.  She asked him about his major and he asked what drew her to art, and for the next minute they exchanged remarkably not-awkward small talk.  But the whole time the air between them felt charged, like the tiniest spark could ignite an inferno. Clarke propped herself up on her elbow.  “So...should we do this?”

She caught Bellamy’s gaze dropping to her lips.  He nodded, reaching out to brush her cheek with the backs of his knuckles.  “This okay?”

Now it was her turn to nod.  His hand slipped into her hair and he leaned forward, closing the distance.  Their lips met, hesitant and first and then quickly deepening, with Clarke rolling to her back and bringing Bellamy over her.  His weight was comforting, his touch sure.  Their tongues met and retreated, moving together like this was something they did every day.

Clarke idly wished she had worn her bright red lipstick, because for some reason she wanted to leave a mark on him, some sort of impression that would linger.  Bellamy made a low noise in the back of his throat and eased his knee between her legs.  She arched against him, marveling at the softness of his hair.  She nipped at his lower lip, forgetting that this was a set up, that Lincoln was filming them as part of his MFA thesis.  It felt like they were in her bed on a lazy Sunday morning, light filtering through her soft pink curtains while coffee burbled in the kitchen.  Her hands roamed his back, their lips chasing and retreating and pressing together again, and time seemed irrelevant.

But then Lincoln cleared his throat.  Clarke whined, not ready for it to end.  Bellamy kept kissing her, either blissfully unaware of Lincoln’s signal or deliberately ignoring it, like her.  But then Lincoln coughed again, and Bellamy came to his senses first.

He lifted his head, eyes hazy, and she pushed a curl back from his forehead.  “I guess we’re done,” he said, voice raspier than she remembered.

“Yeah, I— I guess,” she said, and Bellamy sat back on his heels, offering her a hand to pull her up.  They straightened their clothing and Clarke smoothed back her hair, both of them suddenly shy.

Lincoln seemed to be fighting a smile.  “Door’s that way,” he said, unnecessarily smug.

Bellamy was avoiding her eyes as they walked, but when they left the studio he turned to face her.  “Do you— can I have your number?” he asked, and after all that— after kissing her so thoroughly she forgot her own damn name— the tips of his ears turned red.

Clarke grinned.  “How about I buy you a drink instead?”

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #rubycaspar

[fourangers]

Some bad porn can turn out to be good (2/3)

Summary: “Why are you watching porn on broad daylight and…is this…is this a blond guy fucking a japanese man?”

Who would have thought that porn watching could have such enlightening results. NaruSasu, blow job, anal sex, mutual pining without angst, Comedy, Romance, AU working in an advertisement agency. Some InoSaku.

AO3 link | ffnet link

Chapter 1

AN: We might probably get bunch of technical terms inside advertisement agencies since I’m taking advantage that I work in this field ayyy. It won’t take too long. Why did I write an AU related to my work? Errrr…'cuz I'm too lazy to research a job I'm not familiar with? Hohoho . This chapter there’s blow job.

⏤.⏤ 

“We’re going to enter a competition.”

Everyone managed to keep a poker face, even though they were groaning inside.

The CEO of the agency continued his speech. "It's going to be tough, but I swear if we win it's going to be very worthwhile. The client wants to make an annual campaign, aiming to boost the sales by giving prizes to their clients.”

“So it's the usual being part of a club, earning points that converts to goodies thing.” Sasuke muttered.

“Yes…but they also want to use this opportunity to expand their sales to other states. South and South-west is already guaranteed that most grocery stores have their products, so they want to concentrate on Center states, North and North-east. That means they are willing to spend about 1 billion to any ad agency that will get this case. The presentation is scheduled on the next month, where we need to showcase the whole yearly strategy, alongside the Key Visuals within each season and a spreadsheet about budget planning.”

This time all the workers grimaced in varying degrees of expression.

Shikamaru raised his hand in question. “So is the whole agency going to concentrate in developing this whole campaign on those following weeks?”

The managers in each sector glanced at each other before the Creative Director explained. “We will, but not entirely. We’ll organize planning, brainstorming fitting with producer analysts. Meanwhile, our art directors will be focusing delivering the daily jobs with our steady clients. When it’s your time to design everything, we already talked with our account managers who will ask for a longer deadline for more meaningless things, other jobs we will hire some freelancers to take care of it. Of course, there’ll be some that will require your direct attention and/or need to be sent daily like social media posts. There will be some days you’ll work overtime.”

The CEO hurried to add. “But we’ll pay the dinner, taxis and everything, and you guys can ask for some days off after that. You’ll have to negotiate with your respective leaders. Like I’ve said, I promise all that this is worth it, if we secure this campaign we won’t have any financial issue this whole year. If we win, I vouch that by the end of the year I’ll pay everyone a trip to Las Vegas all-included for a week.”

That caught everyone’s attention, with good bunch of people clapped and some hoot called.

Encouraged by his workers’ cheers, the CEO continued. “Also, on that day when they announce that we won, we’ll just drop the pen. No more work that day, everyone can go home and relax or join us to celebrate in a bar. So is everybody in?” Most enthusiastic employees and younger people shouted with excitement. “Good! So let’s get this started! Your management will explain more with details ok?”

“Alright.” Their Creative Director mumbled once all the team were in a room. “We’re still in the process to properly accommodate this whole mess honestly, so I have some bad news. Every art director needs to deliver the primary main Key Visual by the end of this week.” Naruto groaned, with other mumbled protests and grunts coming from his fellow coworkers. “And I’m going to keep things exciting here. This time I’m going to sort with a new AD/copywriter/planner team, to make the ideas fresher. First copywriters come forth and write your name here and put in the box, where I’ll select randomly with which planner you’ll be paired with. Then ADs will do the same and we’ll form the trio.”

This situation was all kinds of boring; Sasuke thought to himself, but his heart skipped a beat once he glimpsed blue eyes standing out of the crowd while he folded his piece of paper. His streak of good luck couldn’t possibly stretch this far, right, he’d be probably asking for too much at this point of the story.

“Last team will be…Sakura as planner, Sasuke as the copywriter and Naruto as the AD.”

Thank God in Heaven.

“HmmmMmmmmmMMmmm, well well well.” Sakura approached Sasuke, beaming widely as they both watched the blond man from afar. “I guess it’s about time you should restock your lube and some condoms, right?”

“Sakura.” Sasuke warned her, when Naruto noticed them and waved his hand, they waved back.

“What? ‘M just sayin’, you know, just sayin’...” 

“Sakura, your weak attempts of gangster lingo is appalling, I advise you to keep your opinions to yourself and do not try to make any innuendos regarding me and Naruto. Knowing that dumbass, I’m pretty sure it’s going to backfire.”

“Hmm…okay, point taken.” She agreed begrudgingly, while they walked to pick the briefing. Naruto was already reading the content, and curled his lips upwards.

“Hey guys! It’s been a while since I worked with y’all right? I’m sure it’s gonna be great.”

Sakura nodded and smiled back. “So…what kind of KV you need to create now? Hopefully nothing too crazy.”

“Yeah, it’s not that bad.” Naruto sighed. “We have to create the main one that provides enough visual explanation about the campaign but since it’s annual, there’ll be secondary thematic KVs like Christmas, Black Friday, Easter and so on. So it has to have enough personality, but not that much so it’s customizable. That’s the whole trick.”

Sakura grimaced. “That sounds tough.”

“Right, by the way, now that I just heard Naruto…” The creative director chimed in. “No one is going to get extra brownie points if your KV is chosen, you’ll all send to me and people will vote solely according to their preferences, they won’t know who designed it.”

Naruto turned around, throwing a significant glance. “We’re gonna win this, obviously.”

Sasuke snorted. “Obviously.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Alright, the first KV is up to you two, meanwhile I’ll do some research about the client and this campaign, and share through e-mail.”

“Alright cool, thanks for the help.” Naruto grinned. “I mean, ignoring all the chaos we’ll face in the next few weeks, I’m excited to be working with you guys! We won pretty cool competitions together right.”

Sasuke was excited too, but for entirely different reasons. He noticed Sakura staring towards him with a knowing smile. 

She said. “I’m looking forward to work with you too. Well, I got to go now.” She patted Sasuke’s back, messing with Naruto’s hair before she went away.

“Maybe we should re-read the briefing, see if there’s any info that will help us out.” Sasuke slid smoothly next to Naruto till their shoulders touched, vision focused on the piece of paper the blond man was holding, getting so close Sasuke could feel the steady breathing on his face.

Sasuke focused his gaze back to Naruto, noticing the raised eyebrows. Naruto muttered. “Ok sure, let me read it outloud for you. And then, I guess I’ll search for some references for inspiration then.”

Sasuke had less than half his mind to really listening with whatever Naruto was reciting, his entire attention aimed to see if the art director recoiled or showed any discomfort towards his close proximity. He actually appeared to be further relaxed instead, and this undoubtedly counted as a positive sign. Sasuke had been growing even closer to him in those latest days, but no matter how much he tried to imply he wanted to be included in Naruto’s possible dating pool, that dumbass was oblivious to it all. 

He’s going to use this rare chance to make his point across, since his subtle signals went unnoticed. 

Soon they finished brainstorming, Naruto groaned as they went back to their station. “Man, I just hope we won’t overwork too much. And if we win this account, I hope that the client is easier to swallow than most.”

Sasuke smirked. “All clients are hard to swallow. Just some gives you a different first impression once they were gliding through your throat.”

Naruto halted on his steps stupefied and retorted. “I can’t believe that an uptight asshole like you is spouting a dirty innuendo at any time you can get nowadays.”

“I see no problem doing so, now that we share a common interest.” He said in a monotone voice.

Naruto studied Sasuke for a while, before he shook his head and snorted. “You’re one of a kind, man.”

⏤.⏤.⏤ 

“Well! Now that we received all the material, as well as the chosen KV, let’s get started with our own work.”

“I guess…”

“Hn.”

“I’m excited to see all our ideas come together and trade some back and forth.”

“Hm…”

“Yeah…”

Sakura rolled her eyes and continued. “...anyways, I made a rough sketch about our part of the project, but it's nice having this brainstorm so we can come up with cool ideas so I can refine my planning.”

Naruto whined. “...man, I'm not looking forward opening Shika's psd file. He doesn't name his layers, doesn't organize into folders and for some crazy reason he knows how to find it himself. Honestly it's easier to find a needle in a haystack than navigate through his KV.”

“I still can't believe that he won this round. I mean, it's visually appealing for sure, but ours were good too.” Sasuke muttered. “Well, Temari is this client’s account manager so it's quite understandable. That man can create wonders for his girlfriend.”

“Yeah…bet that she promised one night of kinky sex and Shika is ready to move mountains for her. For a lazy guy like him, that's pretty impressive.”

“Agreed.”

Sakura stared in deadpan and sighed. “Alright boys, will you quit being such sore losers and focus on the job for a second?”

Naruto threw his head to the back with a sigh and Sasuke sniffed imperiously.

“Alright, since we’re responsible with the summer campaign part, I already searched some marketing activations done on beaches, as well as some we could do on music festivals.” She said.

“I already have some sketches in mind to the KV, but roughly it’ll be a lot of orange and blue colors. They are always a good contrast.”

“Noted, I’ll write some slogans with this in mind.” Sasuke said. “Oh, by the way, have you heard from Temari that they are asking around if a celebrity is interested to endorse our campaign?”

“Yeah, she told me that!” Naruto exclaimed. “At least they are going to hire some celebrity to substitute the guy in Shika’s KV, and I’m so glad ‘cuz that guy was like...super fucking pale.”

Sasuke opened the aforementioned picture on his laptop and mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. “He doesn’t look that bad.”

Naruto craned his neck closer to him, switching between looking at Sasuke and the man in the KV and widened a mischievous grin. “Yeah, you’re right…he appeared that he actually saw the sun at least once in his life…unlike you.”

“Excuse me. I assure you that I fit in the criteria just as well as he would.” He rebutted, lifting his chin.

“What?!” Naruto guffawed. “You look like you never went to the beach once!”

“I do have indeed, I just take good care of my skin. Aesthetically speaking, I could be an excellent choice to represent this campaign.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “You’re so fucking full of yourself. Yeah yeah yeah, we all know you’re a pretty boy, what else is new.”

“That while I may be a good choice, I’m sure you, instead, is on the other side of spectrum.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat⏤!!” Naruto protested. “I’m the perfect embodiment of summer, you asshole!”

“You sure? I mean, you always wear baggy clothes.” Sasuke smirked. “Maybe it’s to hide some beer belly under your t-shirt.”

The blond man abruptly stood up from his seat and yanked his t-shirt upward to show his lean, sun-kissed stomach. Sasuke managed to mask his total interest by resting his chin on his palm with a languid raise of an eyebrow. “See?! Feast your eyes with my sexy self!”

“I’m supposed to be amazed by this? I mean…I think I can see some belly fat over there.”

“That’s my six pack, that’s what I have you bastard! My abdomen is 100% sturdy muscle. You can touch it if you want.” 

Don’t mind if I do. “Since you insist.” Sasuke uttered in the most bored tone he could muster. Licking his lips, he raised his hand, feeling the silky warmth once he brushed over the tanned skin. He noticed how it twitched under his fingertips, giving a rush of excitement through his veins. “I’m not entirely convinced, it feels pudgy to be true.”

“Pudg⏤you’re not doing it right, you should touch here, bastard.” Naruto grabbed his wrist to let his hand have full contact on the taut stomach, sinewy muscles and all. “See?”

“Ah...yes. I guess I do. Maybe.” Sasuke kept the airy voice, even if he was sliding down to each bump of Naruto’s abs, fingers skimming through the belly button. “I guess you did prove me wrong.”

“I did, right? Told you I was right.” Naruto grinned, puffing his chest.

“Hm.” His thumb caressed languidly his belly, graphite eyes zeroed onto blue ones. Naruto’s victorious beam faltered noticing Sasuke’s heated gaze, staring back with a little bit of hesitancy.

Sakura was torn between being amused and exasperated while she observed the unfolding situation. Dear Lord, it was almost like they had forgotten she’s in the room, wasn’t it? No wait, they probably were aware of her presence, since Sasuke had the look that he’d tear Naruto’s t-shirt apart if only she wasn’t there right now. She cleared her throat.

“Alright Naruto, now that you had your fun letting Sasuke grope all over your body, can we go back to the brainstorm we were having?”

Jumping startled, Naruto dropped his t-shirt in an instant looking exactly like a deer caught in the headlights. Sasuke however, glared at her for the unwanted interruption. Sakura smiled. They just make it so easy for her to tease. 

Soon they focused on the task at hand, right on time when Naruto’s stomach started growling in protest.

“I guess that’s it for now, my boys. Ino and I are thinking about going to a restaurant close by. You want to tag along?” 

“Thanks for the invite, but I brought my lunch box.” 

“Hm, yeah! Me too, sorry ‘bout that Sakura. Next time for sure.” 

“Sure Naruto! Next time.” Sakura threw a side glance towards Sasuke, a lopsided grin broadening on her lips. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re eating Ramen Cup again.” Sasuke grumbled, while they were walking to the cafeteria.

“My dad actually nagged me about it, so I’m eating something else this time.” Naruto sighed. “Wow, I guess everyone already ate their lunch, this place is so empty.” 

“This is not a bad thing, we won’t have to wait in line to heat the food in the microwave.”

Naruto perked up. “You’re right! We’ll be able to eat calmly and slowly.”

“Sure, and if we have enough free time, we could watch some porn together.”

Naruto rolled his eyes and grinned. “Yeah, doesn’t sound bad, we can even do some good ol’ hand jobs to each other while we watch, what do you think?”

“Not a bad idea, where do I sign up?” 

Naruto swallowed dryly, shifting his gaze sideways to hide Sasuke’s piercing eyes. Rubbing the back of his neck, he chuckled. “You know, sometimes I really don’t get if you’re joking or talking seriously.”

Sasuke let his hand glide through the tanned arm. “Take off your pants and we’ll see.”

Naruto slacked his mouth, staring flabbergasted. “Yeah sure, let’s just skip lunch and do it right now.” When he witnessed the eager face Sasuke was making, he scoffed. “I’m kidding, you crazy bastard. C’mon, let’s get to eat ‘cuz I’m really fucking hungy I could eat a whole cow.”

Frowning, Sasuke obeyed nevertheless.

⏤.⏤.⏤.⏤

The drumming on fingers on the table followed the constant buzz of the coffee machine, stopping once it was done. He picked his mug, inhaling the nice fragrance and sighing while he went to his seat. Sipping in long, paused gulps, he observed blue eyes focused on the task at hand. His hand rested on Naruto’s thigh, but the latter didn’t show any significant reaction, either he was too busy to notice or he didn’t mind such close touch.

Sasuke inclined his whole body towards Naruto, his mouth settling inches from his ear. “Need any help?”

Naruto stiffened for a second, before dropping his shoulders. “Hm, yeah, actually…if it’s not too much, can you change your text with shorter words? So it’ll be easier to organize the blocks of text and make it more aesthetically pleasing.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but nodded nevertheless. Throughout this entire week where they were all huddled together, he made sure he used the most blatant flirting in his arsenal but even if Naruto recognized it (which is somewhat a showcase of evolution), he appeared to rebuff most of them. 

Sitting on the table in front of them, Sakura typed non-stop, occasionally peeking on their interaction. This was so much more entertaining than those sugary drama series she and Ino would binge watch at night. If it depended on Sasuke, he would sit on Naruto’s lap and ride him all week, and he was very determined to reach this goal. She’d pity him if this appeared to be a lost cause, but she definitely noticed Naruto seldom glancing Sasuke’s back when he thought no one would see, eyes locked with a ferocious hunger adorning on his face, before returning to hide behind the monitor in haste.

Yep. Very entertaining.

However, this was probably the 4th or 5th night (or maybe more, they lost count) they stayed extra hours working on this project and their brains were already screaming for help. Sakura was yawning non-stop, Naruto was rubbing his eyes while he was erasing some background with his tablet, and even if Sasuke was the most resilient of the trio, he realized that he was rewriting his texts more than the usual.

“Naruto⏤” Sakura called, the blond AD grunted in response. “I’m done writing the marketing strategies. How much have you done so you can send me some layouts?”

Naruto dropped the pen, scratching his head. “Honestly, I think I’m going to take a while. I’m staring at the same shit for about an hour, and there’s still tons of other things to do on the list. I’m gonna wash my face, chug more coffee till I’m awake enough to do anything.”

“Alright, that does sound pretty ominous. I guess⏤” She stretched her arms and yawned. “I’m exhausted and I don’t think I’ll be much of a help staying any longer. Do you mind if I go home now?”

Both young men shook their heads and Naruto added. “Sure, you look pretty tired.”

“I’ll arrive early tomorrow to put everything you’ll do tonight. Just remember to put on the server before you go. And once you’re done, you two better rest well ok. I’ll talk to our boss that you were up all night and you’ll arrive late tomorrow.” She picked her purse and smiled. “Well, I’m out. You boys better behave!” She said as she threw a significant glance towards Sasuke, and went on her way.

Naruto was still had his hands busy adjusting the picture, so he muttered. “So. You’re almost done too?”

“Yes, I already send you the e-mail. But I’m going to stay until you’ve finished.”

“Oh cool, great. Actually, I’m happy you’re staying the night.” Sasuke widened his eyes, though Naruto grinned playfully. “In case I need your help to tweak other things.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Well, I have to be here in case I need to fix your screw ups.”

“You never waste an opportunity to be a bastard, do you.”

“Well, you like it. Anyways…” Sasuke sat on a chair next to the blond man, their legs bumping to each other. “Let’s check if the new text helps you out.”

“Hm.” Naruto opened the document and began changing each layout, seemingly unbothered by the close proximity. After a while, the blond man could feel eyes practically boring holes through his gaze, and he shifted around his seat. "Jesus man, do you ever blink?!" 

"I'm bored." Was his nonplussed answer. 

"Then go check your facebook, instagram, whatever."

"Not interested." Sasuke recited with the same droned tone. 

"Check the news, go piss off some Trump supporters on the comments session." 

"I've already exhausted all the latest feed."

"Well then…" Naruto shrugged. "You tried Buzzfeed?" 

Sasuke gave him a look.

"What?" 

Sasuke sighed, picking up his notebook. "Alright, I better let you concentrate on your task or we will work till sunrise." He smirked. "I could take a page of your book and watch porn." 

Naruto laughed. “Please don’t.”

“...why?”

Because I’ll get hard if I see you jerking off. “Because reasons.” Naruto muttered.

“How eloquent.” Sasuke snorted. “Is the sight of a man masturbating such a turn off to you?”

“What? You know I like guys, why are you even asking this question?”

Just making sure. “So your problem surrounds exclusively to me then.”

Naruto almost bit his tongue, coughing. “No⏤no, no no no. I mean⏤” He coughed again, making an incredulous face. “Whaaaaat⏤noooo, where did you get this idea??”

Sasuke widened his smirk. “You didn’t give me valid explanations, so I have to make some assumptions on my own.”

“Yeah yeah well, you’re wrong, it’s really not what you’re thinking, you arrogant bastard.” Naruto grumbled.

“Hm. So you’re not even a little bit interested seeing then?”

Tilting his head to one side, Naruto said. “Seeing what?”

Sasuke didn’t answer his query, opting to type a very recognizable gay porn website, while he widened his legs. 

Naruto’s jaw dropped. “No, hey. Don’t do that⏤we gotta, I gotta concentrate ya know.” 

Smirking, Sasuke noted the slight panic in his voice. “So I do distract you.”

“Anyone would be distracted with porn nearby, that has nothing to do with you.”

“Oh? So you wouldn’t mind if I do this…” Sasuke adjusted on his seat, fingers sliding his shirt upwards.

Swallowing dryly, Naruto still managed to roll his eyes. “No, you look ridiculous and I really need to finish designing those pieces.”

Sasuke ignored him, clicking some random video and skipped directly to the good part. Naruto jumped from his seat when he heard a long moan, and threw a dirty glare despite receiving a nonchalant response in return. 

“Really? Really?” Naruto groaned, placing his headphones on his ears and putting the loudest music possible. “Some people are actually trying to work over here, ya know!”

Sasuke picked his laptop, tilting it so the screen wouldn’t be facing the blond man. In this brief period of silence, he concentrated in moving an object in Photoshop, till he caught some movement on the corner of his eye. The dark blue shirt was yanked up, completely exposing Sasuke’s lean stomach. He reached the button of pants, opening and dragged the zipper down in an unhurried pace. Naruto drank on the sight of the dark grey boxers, noting all the shadows and bumps beneath it, revealing what was definitely a rather impressive size. Pale fingers glided over the smooth fabric, and Naruto just couldn’t tear this image away from his eyes. He licked his parched lips when Sasuke kept palming on his boxers, though it took to a sudden halt. Naruto almost bemoaned outloud until he realized that Sasuke was staring back at him with quirked lips.

Sasuke flicked one side of Naruto’s headphones, whispering. “Enjoying the show?”

Scowling, he hunched his shoulders. “Do you enjoy being such a exhibitionist bastard?”

“In most occasions, no, not really.” Putting his arm around Naruto’s chair, Sasuke closed in. “Only to few selected people I’m interested in.”

Sasuke studied how blue eyes widened vividly, mouth slack though they didn’t break the gaze trained to each other. Naruto appeared to fall in realization, hastily turning his head to look on his monitor. Sasuke’s fingers reached to the tips of blond hair, tucking it behind the ear before he cupped the tanned cheek, succeeding to let Naruto’s vision trail back towards him. He was getting so close, he could feel the heat emanating from the bronzed skin. When blue eyes were half-lidded, with heartbeats racing, he also shut his own eyes.

Naruto let out a very wide, epic and loud yawn.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I⏤” Naruto yawned again. “I’m so fucking tired man, I swear. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Since the whole mood had evaporated to thin air, Sasuke released his face at once, going back to his seat and zipped his pants. “It’s okay. It’s already over 10 after all.”

“Yeah, I’m beyond exhausted. There’s not a lot of things left to do though, it won’t take too much of our time.”

“Fine.” Sasuke grumbled, in his usual monotone voice. “I’ll stop bothering you then.”

Naruto scratched his head, unable to come up with anything to disperse the dark cloud looming on Sasuke’s head. He returned to his task, a quiet air settle between them with the occasional help coming from the brunet copywriter. 

“Alright, finally! It’s the last layout I’m doing today.” Naruto stretched his arms, groaning. “I still need to put all the images in the system, it’s going to take a while.”

Sasuke picked his smartphone, standing up. “I’m going downstairs for a quick smoke then, before it’s all done.”

“Yeah sure! Thanks a lot Sasuke.” Naruto beamed, with an acknowledging nod in return. Once the dark-haired man was out of his sight, he released a loud sigh. Thank God for his baggy pants.

Okay, now he gotta go to the bathroom fast. Sasuke usually spent long minutes for his cigarette break, so he better seize this opportunity well.

⏤.⏤ 

Sasuke inhaled a puff a smoke, glaring at the fallen ashes. Tonight all signs pointed out that he didn’t have any possible chance being involved with Naruto. Maybe it’s time for him to start giving up, even in the most blatant flirting that dumbass just yawned back at him.

Growling, his foot crushed the half-used cigarette to the ground, his bad mood escalating. He hated the idea of having to step down, but he also didn’t want to push his feelings if Naruto was uncomfortable. 

This sucked. Sasuke sighed, walking back to the entrance. He couldn’t wait for this night to be over so he could just go back to his apartment and drink his sorrows away, or something like that. Anything to forget the twisting pain wrenching his heart.

However, once he was back to the ad agency, he noticed that Naruto wasn’t on his seat. He shrugged, walking towards the bathroom. Maybe he’d see the blond man drinking the twelfth cup of coffee in a row, rocking his body back and forth, he’d probably fall asleep while standing. The thought of this made him chuckle a little.

The kitchen was also empty. Sasuke resumed his steps towards the bathroom until he froze on the spot.

He heard a moan.

The pitch of the moan was very recognizable as well. And considering they were the only people left in this entire building and the voice was so deliciously familiar, Sasuke remained standing still, listening to the pleased grunts as it grew in cadence. He almost wanted to scream in frustration. This idiot just couldn't wait for a more appropriate time to do his business, could he? Now Sasuke was sure those moans will plague his dreams for the next few months for sure.

"Ah…" Naruto groaned in a way that shot straight to his groin. Sasuke bumped his head on the door, this dumbass was driving him insane. He better go away. “Ahnnngh⏤” Right fucking now. “Ah⏤Sa…”

“Sasuke…”

He did a double-take, shaking his head. He’s hallucinating, he must be. He probably had been wanting Naruto for so long that he’s hearing the craziest things. 

“Ah yes⏤!” His echo brought shivers down Sasuke’s spine, chanting once again. “Sasuke⏤”  

He barely registered himself banging the door open, brain gone haywire as he strode in fast steps to the half open stall. He heard Naruto’s panicked grunt, trying to close the door stall but he was faster, prying it open with a wicked smirk.

“Why, hello there. What do we have here?” Sasuke murmured, noting the flushed face, chest heaving heavily and even if the blond man was trying his hardest to cover it, he saw the thick cock jutting out of the denim pants. Sasuke licked his lips.

“Sasuke!! The fuck, you can’t⏤” Naruto still attempted to shut the door but Sasuke used his whole elbow to keep it open, quirking that infuriating sexy smirk of his. “You can’t just barge in like that! Get out!” 

“Trust me, usually I wouldn’t bother myself snooping over anyone’s private moments but you called my name. And naturally, I just responded to such call.”

Sasuke saw Naruto clenching his jaw, though didn’t come up with any word of denial. His hard-on was still nestling in the midst of blond curls, so he succumbed the desire to touch it, tip of fingers flickering on the slit and earning a moan from Naruto.

“It looks like you’re in need of my help too.” He gradually let his hand wrap around Naruto’s cock, but only let it graze over it. “In any case you’re interested.”

Naruto hissed when Sasuke gripped his cock tightly, before releasing it at once. Sasuke was gradually lowering himself, with one knee to the ground. He kept teasing him with fluttering touches, brushing through the length and crumbling any remaining resistance. He wanted Sasuke for so long…and why is this bastard so irresistible?

“Well?” Sasuke caressed his inner thighs. “I won’t know if you won’t tell me anything dumbass.” He let out a hot puff of air over the sensitive head. “Naruto?”

Unsatisfied from the lack of response, Sasuke stood up. Sturdy hands seized his hair all of a sudden, growling close to his ear. “You better get there before I fucking lose my mind.”

Smirking undaunted, he continued to widen the distance despite seeing the incredulous blue eyes. He felt a grip on his nape, pushing him down even if he exerted some strength against it. His mouth was practically touching the head of Naruto’s cock, so he licked the beaded pre-cum, revelling the lustful gaze. The hand clenched around his hair when he sucked the sensitive glan, thrusting inside his mouth a few times before he glided it in. 

Naruto tossed his head to the back, moaning. With one hand encasing the base, Sasuke’s tongue curled around the joint between the head and the shaft, slurping and encasing with his lips. How sexually gratifying this felt, with each suckle and light bite, Naruto would groan, hiss and curse loudly, crying out in dark pleasure. Their eyes locked together, Sasuke would swallow the cock, staring how those cerulean hue darkened in hunger. That hand was still holding his head in place, tightening in a vice grip and made him moan with his mouth stuffed around that hot flesh.

Without a sign of warning, Naruto shoved till his cock went deep through Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke didn’t deter him, just threw a defiant glance back. With his hand clutching the black strands of hair, he thrust his cock in Sasuke’s mouth over and over, the grip on his scalp with the salty flavor of skin blended in this spicy mixture of pain and pleasure. 

His senses were already being overwhelmed by a musky scent, signalizing that Naruto was getting close. He released the cock from his mouth, stroking till one spurt of cum reached his face, bursting and flowing on his hand. Naruto was still heaving heavily, so Sasuke cleaned the best he could, tucking the flacid dick back to the orange boxers. He patted the tanned cheek, whispering close to the ear. “You want to continue somewhere else? My apartment is pretty close by.”

These sentences were enough to sober Naruto up, as he stared back with uncertainty and longing, before his eyebrows knitted in blazing determination. Feeling a little rattled about this sudden shift of emotions, Sasuke opened his mouth to question until arms enveloped around him, lips silencing him with a kiss.

Whatever was inside his mind just evaporated as Sasuke responded immediately, lips gliding and matching in a wet lock, his own hands reaching to hold Naruto’s waist. Soon his tongue slipped in, drinking the pleasurable grunt, consuming him, pulling him even closer. Sasuke inhaled sharply when their mouths parted for a second, coming together in increased intensity while Naruto embraced him tenderly, almost possessively. 

Both men paused to catch their breaths, staring longingly to each other. Sasuke was acutely aware of warm fingers caressing his back, while his own hands wound up brushing Naruto’s cheeks. Blue eyes crinkled soft and open, approaching in an almost lethargic way, with his nose nuzzling his cheek till full lips reached his mouth.

Naruto was kissing him harder, unyielding, akin to some unnamed desperation that Sasuke returned in kind. His hands instinctively reached to Naruto’s t-shirt, craving to yank it out, but the blond man seized his wrists and pushed it down. Growling, Sasuke thrust his pelvis, however Naruto just remained liplocked, not touching anywhere that would provoke any sort arousal.

Naruto backed away, his eyes still brimming with affection while he combed the dark hair. He didn’t resist the yearning to brush those beguiling lips, capturing once again to a swift kiss. He released with a loud sigh, shaking his head. But Sasuke held his chin with his fingers to catch his attention, closing in with his teeth lightly sinking on the lower lip. Naruto yielded for a while, though his hands were already placing in between their bodies, slowly pushing away.

At that moment, nothing in the world mattered for Sasuke aside Naruto. He was ready to rip his heart off if necessary to keep him by his side, but Naruto uttered out:

“I think…we should really call our uber.”

 That declaration was so out of left field that broke Sasuke’s line of thought. He muttered. “What?”

Naruto nodded. “Uber. We gotta call an uber. We’re pretty tired tonight right? We should go.”

Graphite eyes blinked, not quite catching the whole situation. He managed to murmur, his lips trying to reach Naruto’s but the latter deflected away. “We can go to my apartment, it’s close…”

“Yeah, um…” Naruto gently nudged Sasuke body off his lap, standing up. “I’m just⏤so fucking exhausted, I swear.”

“Naruto.” Sasuke clasped his arm. “But what about⏤”  

“I know. “ He rubbed his eyelids. “I’m sorry, we’ll talk later. Okay? I’m sorry.” Naruto pleaded, gulping dryly. “I’m so sorry. I⏤” Sighing, he exited the bathroom with a thunderous noise from the door.

Sasuke took too long seconds to really absorb what happened, running in search of Naruto. Too late, he already exited the building.

What the hell just happened? 

--.--

AN: Ayyyy what's this sudden angst? It's probably my fault lmao. Anyways...Hmm…while I was writing the beginning of this fic, I actually thought to myself if I didn’t embellish like it’s a cool place to work and it had so much cool prizes and recognition. So before anyone is changing their mind over their careers, let me tell you something: Most of the time, it’s a lie. And most ad agencies (at least here in Brazil) sucks. It’s changing pretty slowly, but it still sucks. You work overtime most of the time, recognition is mostly “I’ll pay for tonight’s beer” but no salary raise or bonus. There’s backstabbing involved too. Oh, and at least where I used to work, they won’t pay for those overtimes hours and even though they claim “you can rest another day”, it’s really complicated to negotiate the “I want to rest on x day”. The Las Vegas trip thing is real, but it’s something out of the norm, sadly. Also, the ad agency that gave such trip though, makes their employees work, like, twice the time. Anyways, like any job, it has its merits and its downfalls.

#NaruSasu #nssourced #sn fic #snstext #drabble

[abigailmaitland]

Andi Mack 4B Plots

My 4A Plots

Trigger Warning for depression - nothing too dark, but it is a significant plot of this season.

Extra 4A plot to be nestled somewhere before the finale:

Halloween!

The GHC & Co. trying to decide whether they’re too old to go trick or treating. Intense debate with Cyrus, Andi, and Marty on one side, TJ, Buffy, and Jonah are on the other.

“How can you be too old for free candy?!” Cyrus exclaims.

“I’ve always hated dressing up,” Jonah rolled his eyes.

“Halloween is the best time to practice sewing!” Andi expresses.

“I hate sewing,” Buffy groans. “Besides, I’m trying to put my dentist out of business.” 

“It just seems like none of you want to have any fun.” Marty says.

“I’m on the high school basketball team. I have an image to keep.” TJ crosses his arms.

“Is the image a boring, funsucker? Because you’re nailing it,” Marty teases.

Eventually the opposing group crumbles underneath the pressure of their friends and free candy. Planning their route is also intense - Cyrus definitely has maps of Shadyside and a detailed house list of who gives the best candy with averages he’s kept throughout the years.  

The Crafty Crew joins them for trick & treating. 

Cyrus dresses up as Waldo. 

Andi makes a ‘cereal killer’ costume, including a cereal box skirt, blood, the whole shebang. Even Cyrus groans at the pun (but secretly high fives her). 

Buffy goes as Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Marty goes as Fred from Scooby Doo. Buffy says he was supposed to be Spike from BVS, Marty laughs and says he thought Buffy and Fred were a better match.

Jonah puts those fake vampire fangs in and some fake blood on his face. Buffy chases him around all night. TJ dresses up as a failed math test because it’s the scariest thing he can think of. 

Walker dresses as Miles Morales & Libby dresses as Hawkeye (we deserved a deaf hawkeye!) 

And finally, the episode ends with an intense candy trading session. Lots of smiles, laughs, and friendship/couple moments. Halloween episodes should always be the most lighthearted!

4B.

Episode One.

Bex is laying in bed. She’s awake, but she’s not doing anything but staring. Her phone goes off and it’s revealed to be 3pm. Andi’s calling. Bex hesitates, then answers. “Mom - are you okay? You were supposed to pick me up fifteen minutes ago.” 

Bex shuts her eyes, then opens them again. Suddenly, energy is in her voice. “Oh yeah - you know me, just running late. Traffic! I’ll be there soon, Andiman.” she hangs up quickly, she sighs. Her eyes are distant. She rushes to get ready, throwing on whatever she can, v messy, not caring how she looks.

Next scene Bowie is seen in a restaurant kitchen cooking. They ask him if he can stay late - he says no, he’s got to be at Red Rooster Records for the open mic night, revealing that he is working two jobs to try to start saving, referencing the potential for a second child (as Bex listed financial fears as a main reason).

We see Jonah’s apartment when he invites Cyrus over to hang out. Jonah says “it’s kind of small,” but Cyrus smiles and says “You know, it’s actually cozy. My house can be so...lonely.” Jonah kind of scoffs and rolls his eyes, muttering something about rich kid perspectives. He admits he had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including his old baseball gear and complains that he can’t play his guitar after a certain hour because his neighbors complain because the walls are basically paper thin. “Basically, don’t say anything you don’t want Dave to hear. He’s basically a member of the family at this point.”

Bex is off on the drive home with Andi. Andi’s talking non-stop about school events and how she failed the last project (revealed in the 4a finale) and how she needs to improve, but she feels so out of place in the school. Bex is saying “yeah” and “mhmmm”, barely listening. When they get home, instead of cooking, Bex orders pizza but doesn’t really eat much. Andi starts to get worried and asks if Bex is okay, but Bex just says she thinks she’s getting sick. Bowie comes home exhausted and both him and Bex fall asleep on the couch during a movie that they were supposed to watch as a family.

Cyrus is a little bothered by “the rich kid perspective” comment and tries to analyze how much his upbringing colors his opinions. The next day, he’s talking about it with Buffy and Andi at The Spoon and how he’s worried that he gives off entitled-rich kid vibes. They laugh and say sometimes he’s oblivious and dumb with money, but he’s not entitled. Andi complains about how tired Bowie always is now and then mentions how strange Bex was acting yesterday. Cyrus’s brain jumps to the worst possible conclusions. Buffy has to reassure Andi that everything is probably okay. As a distraction, she talks about how happy her parents are to be back together and shows off goofy pictures of them. She says her father hasn’t stopped talking about her mom in church since she’s gotten back. GHC smiles.

Episode Two.

Bex’s work has started to get a little sloppy and customers are leaving bad reviews. Celia presses into Bex, saying she didn’t invest so much money into this business just for Bex to get lazy. Bex sighs, shakes her head. “Reschedule my appointments for tomorrow, mom. I think I’m sick.” Celia’s eyes widen, as if she suddenly understands something. Bex goes home and slips back into bed. She doesn’t really go to sleep, but just scrolls her phone aimlessly.

Now that TJ is out at school, Cyrus asks him if he’s going to introduce him to his parents as his boyfriend. TJ awkwardly laughs and says “I should, shouldn’t I?” Cyrus nods. “But if it helps, we can have dinner as boyfriends with my parents first?” TJ’s eyes widen. “All of them? At once?!” Cyrus laughs. “No, we can do dinner at one house and dessert at the other?” TJ nods. “Uh, yeah okay.” Cyrus holds TJ’s hand. “Come on, Teej, you have nothing to worry about. They already love you.”

Jonah bumps into Amber in the hall and brings her to a quiet spot in the hallway. He grins and says he’s going to therapy. Amber asks him how it’s going and he shrugs, but doesn’t seem upset. He says “it sucks, but you know...it really does help. I really didn’t like it at first and didn’t talk, but he asked me to play some music the other week and that helped break the ice,” Jonah explained. Amber smiles and hugs him. “Congratulations, Jojo. I’m proud of you.” He asks how she’s doing. Amber says she’s getting there, but that she wished she was a freshman again because she’s struggling with her AP classes, driver’s ed, her job, and her family issues. He said it sounded like a lot, but that he’d try to be there for Amber because she was there for him. Amber nods and says she’ll keep that in mind. Suddenly, there’s a security guard telling them they have detention for skipping class.  At first, Jonah and Amber look at each other scared, then they crack up at the situation they’ve gotten themselves in.

Andi comes home and sees Bowie sitting with Bex in the bedroom. She overhears Bowie comforting her and then hears Bex saying “I don’t want Andi to know…” Andi freaks out, texting the GHC group chat saying something is wrong with her mom.

Episode Three.

Friendsgiving episode! GHC + Crafty Crew all get together at Andi’s apartment a week before Thanksgiving and have a huge feast. Cyrus put together a spreadsheet and organized who brought what. Buffy and Marty have a competition to make the best dessert. Jonah buys store-bought microwavable mashed potatoes. Andi decorates the entire space and Bowie makes the turkey. TJ brings the BEST Green Bean Casserole and everyone bothers him the entire episode to give up the recipe. They give each other updates; like the dinner with Cyrus’ parents went really well, Jonah and Amber talk about how their detention teacher hated them because they kept laughing, Buffy talks about her parents, etc. Everyone also shares traditions their family does for the holiday.

Walker says that his family covers the table with paper and everyone writes/doodles what they’re thankful for throughout the meal. They then hang it up until it’s time to decorate for Christmas. 

Libby says her family go on a long walk after dinner with each other.

TJ says his whole family plays football together before and after dinner.

Cyrus says he has several Thanksgivings and too many traditions to name - but his favorite is his mom’s side, who volunteers first and then have a small meal afterwards.

Buffy says after dinner they decorate for Christmas, which is her parent’s favorite holiday.

Jonah says they play a bunch of different board games and family games.

Amber says that her family doesn’t argue for the whole day - and also watches old home movies.

They ask Andi what traditions her family has. She seems upset and explains that they used to go to pop’s family and celebrate, but now they have to make new traditions without him because he left them. Everyone comforts her. Bowie overheard and tells Bex - they both want to give Andi the best Thanksgiving in the world. Bex tells Bowie that “all this family drama is why I don’t want Andi to know…” 

Episode Four.

Cece takes Andi out for a bonding day, saying that she’s been missing her. Andi says she misses her too. They go to an art museum and have lunch where Andi talks to Cece about not doing well in SAVA and maybe she’s not great at art like everyone thought. Cece tells Andi that when she was a toddler, she grabbed a pack of crayons and for weeks, she wouldn’t put them down. Cece would catch Andi awake at night DRAWING. Andi would fall asleep with a pack of crayons cuddled close to her. She’d color in the car, at restaurants, in the bathtub with bath crayons, everywhere she could. “And that first year you went to camp, I’ll never forget how excited you were about crafts...Andi, I don’t think you’re bad at art. I think you think you’re bad at art which is making you bad at art.”

Andi says “wow…” and knows that Cece is right. SAVA wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise. They go out to have Fro-yo and Cece asks how Andi is doing at home. Andi tells Cece that it’s been weird having Bowie working so much and then mentioned that Bex is acting strange too. She asked Cece if she knew anything about that and Cece nods. “Yes, but it’s your mother’s choice to tell you.” Andi complains that no one’s ever told her anything. 

Cece rolls her eyes and then says “Well I have important news. My dad is moving in with me.”

Andi asks “Wait, why? Is everything okay?”

“He’s okay, yes. He’s still healthy, especially for his age - but,” Cece pauses. “You know, he misses you and Bex. He’s been spending so much time with Mei and Ling and the twins and Ronald, he thought it’d be a nice surprise.” “Yeah, it has been awhile since we’ve seen him, but...he doesn’t need to move in with you. He could just visit, couldn’t he?”

“I asked him too.” “Why?”

“I thought it’d be good to have someone in the house. I know you, Cyrus, and Buffy still have sleepovers there, but it’s just been too empty for too long. I know how important Andi Shack is to you and how important the house is to your mom, so I decided to keep it.”

“Oh. Cece - I’m sorry. I guess I got caught up in my own stuff again…” Andi says, hugging Cece.

“It’s okay. You’re the child, remember?”

Cece drops Andi off. She calls Bex outside and they close the door. 

“Rebecca,” Cece says. Bex avoids her eyes and focuses on the ground, her nails pressing into her skin. You think it’s going to be a lecture, Bex thinks it’s going to be a lecture, but Cece pulls Bex into a hug. “Andi’s worried about you. You need to talk to her.”

Plot B of this episode is Buffy and Cyrus hanging out at Buffy’s house. We’re introduced to Buffy’s father (headcanon: he’s black. I know sofia is mixed, but I think it’d be cool to have men of color in the show). He wears a cross necklace and is clearly religious, but Cyrus never feels uncomfortable mentioning his boyfriend TJ. Buffy’s father treats Cyrus with nothing but love, honestly, and mentions that he’s the son they never had while eating dinner.

Episode Five.

Jonah reveals that he’s gotten a job as a cashier at The Red Rooster. He’s not immediately great at it, which causes a spike in his anxiety, but instead of having a panic attack he’s able to ground himself using techniques his therapist taught him.

Andi’s teacher, the one who was critical about her art, notices a huge change in Andi and her work and compliments her new project, stating that she knew Andi had it in her. Walker, Libby, and Andi all celebrate together at The Spoon.

Buffy & TJ hang out - they play basketball and get to know each other better. “I don’t think we’ve ever hung out without Cyrus,” TJ laughs. “Yeah...I don’t think so? This is nice,” They play H.O.R.S.E, as well as a game they made up where each basket they make, they get to ask a question. The harder the shot is, the harder the questions they can ask.

At home, Bex is pacing the bedroom. Bowie is sitting on the bed. Bex complains that she doesn’t know what she should do or how she should even talk about it. Bowie listens, nodding his head. “You know, when my father was sick, he didn’t want to tell me. He wanted to be strong and proud. And he almost didn’t tell me, but I found his medication. I was terrified because something bad could have happened any moment and it would’ve been a complete surprise to me.” he pauses. “Andi is worried about you and probably thinks something really bad is going to happen and I don’t think it’s fair to hide it. Besides...she’s starting to get to that age where maybe it’ll start to affect her…”

Episode Six. 

Christmas is coming up and the GHC + Crafty Crew go to the mall. They split up into their normal groups; TJ, Jonah, Marty + Walker and Cyrus, Andi, Buffy + Libby. They’re playing Secret Santa for each other so they’re trying to hide the gifts they’re buying and throwing each other off. Of course, they’re also buying gifts for their SOs. 

Secret Santa List -

TJ has to buy for Marty

Jonah has to buy for Buffy

Cyrus has to buy for Jonah

Marty has to buy for Andi

Andi has to buy for TJ

Buffy has to buy for Cyrus

TJ fretting about what Cyrus would want and if he should even do a Christmas gift because Cyrus doesn’t celebrate (he would celebrate non-religious aspects with Buffy & Andi some years)

Cyrus complaining that Christmas is so materialistic - but then also trying to find the best gift to give TJ and Jonah.

But while TJ, Jonah, Marty, and Walker are shopping trouble arises when they’re wandering around a store, picking up different things, putting them down and whatnot. At some point, Walker notices a security guard staring him down. He feels uncomfortable, but knows he didn’t do anything wrong and continues to just walk around the store with Jonah, Marty and TJ. But it all goes wrong when the group tries to leave the store. They’re all stopped by the security guard, but Walker is singled out. The guard says that he knows that somebody in this group stole and that he has his suspicions as to who. The group all look at each other and furiously shake their heads, saying none of them stole. The guard asks Walker to empty his pockets. Walker does, he has nothing in his pockets besides his wallet and house keys. The guard lets them all go with a warning. Walker is embarrassed and angry that no one else had to empty their pockets. The group buy him some food to try to cheer him up and all agree that it was really wrong.

Episode Seven.

Christmas/Hanukkah special.

They all celebrate their respective holidays. Cyrus invites TJ to celebrate Hanukkah the day after Christmas. TJ of course agrees. We see Cyrus’ family celebrate Hanukkah. Andi, Bex, Bowie, Cece, her dad AND Mei, Ling, her husband, Ronald, and the twins celebrate at Cece’s house. Mei and Cece start to argue, but their dad reigns them in. They finally call a truce after their entire lives of competition and decide their feud isn’t worth it. (“What were we even fighting with to begin with?”) Buffy goes to church and celebrates with her family. Marty celebrates with his family; it’s the first Christmas with his step-siblings. 

The gifts they all bought for each other are revealed when GHC + CO get together during Christmas afternoon. TJ gets Marty a joke gift (probably something about always forgetting him), Jonah buys Buffy a bag full of all of her favorite snacks/candy, Cyrus got Jonah an anchor necklace to keep him grounded and a guitar tuner, Marty buys Andi some weird gag gift like a yodelling pickle, Andi buys TJ a Troy Bolton basketball jersey, and Buffy buys Cyrus a mug that says ‘you’re so weird, i like you’ because she knows Cyrus loves mugs.

TJ and Cyrus psyched themselves out and ended up panicking and getting something neither of them really liked. They laugh about it and then realize they should get to know each other better.

Buffy and Marty treated it like a competition. Buffy got Marty a pace tracker that goes on his sneakers, a scrapbook for his future marathons, and those weird toe socks. Marty gave Buffy two of his hoodies, a necklace shaped like deer antlers which symbolizes strength and gentleness, and an NBA video game that they can play at his house. 

The episode is light-hearted and easy, but the whole episode Bex is still just a little off. Bowie and Cece are extra mindful of her. Andi is still really confused and worried. At the end of the episode, when they all get home, Bex sits on the couch and says “Andi...I have something to tell you.”

HIATUS.

Episode Eight.

Special opening similar to the gun-control episode, as well as the anxiety/panic attack opening talking about how mental health is important and if you or a friend are struggling, tell a trusted adult and take care of yourself.

“Andi...I have something to tell you.” Bex’s voice is serious. There’s a lot of tension. Andi seems worried. Bex seems nervous. Bowie has his hands on Bex’s shoulders comfortingly. 

“Mom? I’m scared...are you sick?”

“Yes,” Andi seems shocked and scared at this revelation. “But not the way you’re thinking, Andi...gosh, this would be easier if I was still just your cool, older sister.” because this is the kind of thing that ‘cool, edgy’ older siblings go through. Not parents. “Andi, I have depression. I’ve had it since I was about your age. It...doesn’t go away, but I’ve been on medication since my twenties and it worked great. But, with work stress and everything that happened with Pops, well...it stopped working. I should have been more open with you and everyone and gotten help when it started…”

Andi stops tensing. She sits with Bex on the couch. “Mom...I didn’t know…”

“Yeah, only Bowie and Cece did. I wanted to be the best mom in the world, especially after giving you up for so long. I wanted to do everything and be everything for you - I didn’t want you to have to worry about me or feel like you had to take care of me. I wanted to be strong.”

“Mom, I love you. You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not or do more than you can.”

Bex hugs Andi. She’s definitely crying.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Andiman. You don’t have to worry or take care of me ever, okay? I’m the adult. I’ve talked to Bowie and Cece. I’m going to get my medications adjusted and I’m going to go to therapy.”

Andi feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of her chest but it only lasts momentarily. She gets out of the hug.

“Mom, I learned about depression in school…” She pauses. “It can be genetic...what if I get it?”

“Then we’ll help you through it. No matter what.” Bex and Bowie wrap her in a hug again. “You talk to us, though, okay? Don’t hide it like I did.”

PLOT B. Buffy and Marty have a massive fight. This leaves TJ and Cyrus in awkward positions because TJ thinks that Marty is right and Cyrus always sides with Buffy. This leaves Jonah has a tie-breaker and he totally panics and exclaims that this is why he hates relationships. When they realize that he got really anxious choosing a side, they realize they were being stupid and shouldn’t have put anyone in the middle of the fight. They all apologize to him and make up.

Episode Nine.

Buffy’s birthday!

Similar to Bowie, Buffy has never liked huge birthday parties or attention on her birthday. Andi says “Buffy likes attention everyday...except her birthday.” Cyrus and Andi make sure to tell Marty the first of the month that under no circumstances should he try to surprise her. He asks Cyrus and Andi what they do for her birthday then. Cyrus says that they have a Buffy birthday tradition that they’ve been doing since the second grade.

They meet at Buffy’s house for a celebratory breakfast of Froot Loops and chocolate milk because Buffy went through a phase where that’s the only thing she would eat and drink for breakfast, then they walk to school no matter what the weather because on her birthday in second grade, she demanded to be able to walk alone because she was “all grown now” (her parents followed them, just further behind. If it’s a weekend, they walk to The Spoon). After school, they walk back to her house and they play Buffy’s favorite game at the time “Twister” (Cyrus’ least favorite game) and have a silent dance party (at the time, her mother had just come back from war and asked them to not make too much noise). Then, they eat “garbage pizza” because Buffy had just learned the name of it and thought it was hilarious, and her favorite cake. Then, Andi and Cyrus stayed up as late as possible watching whatever movies Buffy wanted to watch.

During lunch, while Cyrus, TJ, and Jonah are getting their lunch, Marty asks Buffy if he can join in on her birthday traditions. Buffy is pretty rigid and likes the traditions as is, but says that maybe they can create their own birthday tradition. Marty comes up with the idea of a three-legged race (Him and Buffy vs TJ and Jonah) and then going out for ice cream - that way, all of Buffy’s new friends and boyfriend can be included before she goes back home to celebrate with the GHC.

That goes just about as well as anyone would think. Hilarious montage, honestly. This is the silliest idea I’ve come up with and yet, I love it. 

Episode Ten.

After school, Jonah and Buffy decide to hang out. They go to a skatepark. Jonah is much better than Buffy - which he celebrates and exclaims “finally!” She’s determined to learn a pop-shove it.

While at work, Bex thanks Cece for supporting her during her depression and tells her that she got her medications adjusted and is starting to feel better. Cece nods and says “I’m really sorry for not supporting you when you were younger. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Bex forgives her.

TJ and Cyrus experience some homophobia both in school and outside of school. Cyrus gets upset and insecure, TJ loses his cool. They sigh and realize that it’s probably something they’ll have to go through a lot - but at least they have each other to go through it with.

Andi, Bex, and Bowie go to Cece’s house to spend time with their grandfather/great-grandfather. During the visit, Bex and Andi brush up on their Mandarin, they play games like dominos, cards, and Mahjong, and they eat traditional Chinese food. 

Episode Eleven. 

Amber got her driver’s license. She surprises Andi & Buffy on a weekend for a road trip. They drive to the town nearing Shadyside and have all sorts of adventures. They take lots of pictures to always remember this momentous occasion.

Cyrus is sick which leaves Jonah, TJ, and Marty alone unsupervised. They decide to have an adventure of their own and have a giant game of “The Floor is Lava” in public. They get kicked out of multiple locations. They end the day by going to The Spoon and having an eating competition to see who could finish their burger, fries, and milkshakes first. Being that TJ and Marty are used to bulk eating, Jonah is definitely the one who gives up and almost throws up.

Episode Twelve.

Walker, Libby, and Andi are preparing for the end of the year project where they could potentially be accepted into the school’s gallery, which is an honor and a party. Andi knows that she can create something amazing - but doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. They’re all stuffed into Andi shack, bouncing ideas off of each other. Walker wants to do a self-portrait vs. how the world sees him, Libby wants to create a sign-language sculpture, Andi is conflicted and has no idea what she wants to create.

Buffy/Marty + Cyrus/TJ double date. Lots of hijinks. They also definitely go bowling and Cyrus tries to bowl without bumpers. At one point, TJ ran to the bathroom and told Cyrus to take his turn (it didn’t matter because he was so far ahead, there was no chance of Cyrus ruining his chances of winning) Cyrus rolls a strike and celebrates. He then tries endlessly to replicate it for his own turns to no avail.

While at work, Jonah is talking to Bowie about life. He says that therapy is going really well and he hasn’t had many panic attacks since. He thanks Bowie for being there for him in the beginning and Bowie says that it’s no problem at all and that he’s glad Jonah is getting professional help. Jonah says that he really looks up to Bowie and tells him that today was career day and that the high schoolers were prompted to think about what they want to do when they’re an adult. Jonah said he has been thinking about pursuing music and wants to join a band. Bowie smiles and tells Jonah that he reminds him a lot of him when he was Jonah’s age. He advises Jonah to join a band, but to do it for the music and not for fame, because when he’s older and traveling, he might regret not being home for big things. Jonah tells Bowie that if he doesn’t do music for the rest of his life, he doesn’t know what else he would do. Bowie shrugs and says “You might not know what you want to do now, you might not know what you want to do when you’re 23, or 45, or 55. Life isn’t a straight line, it’s full of twists and turns. Just follow your heart and listen to The Universe in those times and you’ll end up where you need to be.”

Episode Thirteen.

Andi has decided that her end of the year project will be focused on her family. She decides to create a literal family tree - she crafts a tree and each branch has a picture of each family member. Branches, like Pops and his family’s, are clearly snapped at the base to show that it’s a broken tree and he left. Bex’s branch has the picture of her as a teen after just giving birth to Andi, Bowie’s branch splits into two to show that he was absent for 13 years, but then heavily involved, etc. (IDK. I know nothing about art and couldn’t come up with anything else lol)

Bex starts to participate in her photography club again, has been doing better at work, and has become more involved in the PTA at SAVA again. Bowie asks her if she remembers what they were talking about earlier in the year. Bex says “Another baby?” Bowie nods. “Yeah...I’m ready now.” He grins and tackles her in a hug and lots of kisses.

TJ gets his first A in math class, on the final test to boot, after a lot of hard work, tutoring, and accomodations. Cyrus takes him out on a date to celebrate.

Buffy and Marty are in this episode at some point, probably not a big part tbh. Mostly because I’m losing steam lol.

Episode Fourteen.

Andi made it into the gallery. Her entire family, GHC+, and Crafty Crew turn up to the gallery to see it and they all go to the after party for her. Cece says “I told you you just needed to believe in yourself first…” Bex and Bowie tell Andi how proud of her they are and because they are literally awful at timing, tell her that they’re going to be trying for a baby. Andi has very mixed feelings about this, but Walker interrupts and drags her out to dance and party with everyone.

The night ends with Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi having a sleepover. Lots of hugs, celebrations, and love. They definitely squish Andi when she’s sitting between them on the couch while watching movies.

At the end of the episode, Andi texts Jonah about how mixed she feels about having a sibling. Jonah says he can understand - she feels like she might be being replaced, that he felt that way a couple times. Andi asks, like when? Jonah admits that he felt that way when he saw Walker and Andi at the Bar Mitzvah and that was his first panic attack. Andi said that she had no idea he was having panic attacks that long, Jonah says “well now you know. Sorry for not telling you.” Jonah tells her that he’ll always be there to listen to her if she needs it.

#andi mack

[strangesmallbard]

fic | but the sun is still in the sky

Fandom: The Worst Witch (2017) Rating: T Pairing: Hecate Hardbroom/Julie Hubble Summary:

Julie slams a drawer shut. “We already tried summoning them, didn’t we? I don’t suppose you have an X-Ray Vision Potion on hand.”

She hears a scoff. “Those could not exist less.”

Julie turns with an all-around lazy glare. She crosses her arms, to emphasize how mad she is. “You could help, darling.”

| read on ao3 |

Are all Witches simply allergic to keeping easily accessible medical records?

Julie may be decent with a spreadsheet for someone who’s only had Google half their life, but there is only so much she can do when the Infirmary check-in records for the years 2016 through 2017 simply disappear from the office. In front of her eyes.

“Oh dear,” Ada had said, adjusting her specs. “Yes, that can happen. The castle has a mind of its own sometimes. Ah well!”

“Ah. Well!” Julie said, and gave a smile that desperately tried not to explode into a frustrated rage.

She is not going to fight a castle.

Ada patted her arm. “You might check the cellar. We tend to vanish copies there at the end of each term. We do really mean to go through them too, but other...events tend to take precedence.”

Julie grimaced, sympathetically. “Of course.”

The cellar. The cellar of a castle with a mind of its own. Where all the odds and ends of magic itself just sort of end up in one chaotic cluster. Now, she can do chaos. She works emergency on Friday nights. She is personally responsible for the survival of at least eighteen Uni students back from when she used to engage in a little bit of chaos herself.

Still. Asking Hecate to join her has made the ordeal terribly comfortable.

“There are much less tedious ways to find these...forms.”

And there’s that.

Julie slams a drawer shut. “We already tried summoning them, didn’t we? I don’t suppose you have an X-Ray Vision Potion on hand.”

She hears a scoff. “Those could not exist less .”

Julie turns with an all-around lazy glare. She crosses her arms, to emphasize how mad she is. “You could help, darling.”

Hecate, still standing in the center of the room, twists one hand over the other. She clears her throat. “Well, I am certainly trying.”

Julie points across the room, where she hasn’t begun looking yet. “Is searching the cabinets yourself against the Code?”

Hecate’s brow startles up. “You know very well that it’s not.”

“Very well, huh?” Julie says, hands on her hips. Her glare careens up into a decidedly impish smile. “Then get to work, Miss Hardbroom, and we can still have our lunch date.”

Hecate tries to keep the lines on her face harsh and stalwart, but a small smile pulls upwards the longer they look each other, like the sun coming out in well. A cellar. She has no right looking that attractive in a cellar , surrounded by dust and cobwebs and ancient storage containers that don’t have her missing forms. A sharp figure standing proud in the dark, delicate wisps of fallen hair tucked behind her ears. That thing her mouth does when she’s trying not to smile.

(If Julie ever gets her hands on the person who told her not to smile when she wants to, made her so wary of any given affection–)

Hecate tilts her head to the side, the rest of her to follow. She sighs, smile dropping. “If you’re not absolutely opposed to magic, I can move this process along by summoning every drawer containing paper.”

Julie only barely withholds an eye roll. She takes a step towards her. “Magic is the reason why we’re here instead of having a cuddle on my couch.”

Hecate flushes again, and seems to be warring with herself; to flirt with your girlfriend in a musty cellar or to defend the virtues of Witchcraft? That is the question. “How presumptuous,” she says, cool and smooth as a skipping stone. “That we’d forgo one of Miss Tapioca’s delightful meals.”

Julie steps close enough that she has to look up to meet her eyes. How irritating. She reaches up to smooth out her dress collar and watches her eyes go warm, warm. Knows her own must be going the same. How not so irritating. She hums. “You’re right. I don’t know how I could possibly live without some chicken stew, or…”

Hecate feigns an expert false disinterest. “...Or?”

She reaches up to needlessly tuck hair behind her ear. Her palm brushes Hecate’s jaw, and she tilts her head imperceptibly closer.  “Those infirmary check-in records,” she says, voice low. Hecate blinks a few times, owlish, and gives Julie probably the closest Hecate Hardbroom will ever come to a true, bonafide pout.

“Hmm,” she says, extricating her hand. She continues to hold it. Just for a moment. Her hands are cool, not cold. “I actually prefer the boiled potatoes.”

“And I prefer you.” Julie says, and pecks her cheek. “Preferably away from the cobwebs, even though they do match your outfit.”

Hecate clears her throat no less than three times. Her hand comes up to straighten out the collar Julie already fixed, brush invisible dust off her shoulder. “I do,” she begins, and shakes her head. “It has been a while since...we’ve,” she flicks a hand around the room. “The cobwebs certainly add a certain ambiance.”

Julie nudges her head over to the cabinets. “They’re certainly making me sneeze. Come on, there’s only a few more drawers to get through. Let’s work our way from opposite ends.”

Hecate stares at her hands for a moment before giving a slightly pained nod. She walks to the other end of the cabinet and pulls out a drawer, pulling out a few orange crystals. She blows on them, and dust flies off. She stares at them, affronted. “I lost these an entire decade ago.”

Julie opens her own drawer to reveal a whole lot of blank parchment. She doesn’t need parchment, but takes it out anyway. It’s rather fancy. “See! Not a pointless endeavor after all.”

“I never said it was pointless,” Hecate says, the edges of warm. “I only…”

She falls quiet.

When she doesn’t speak again, Julie puts the parchment back. She watches her consider the crystals, the low yellow light in the cellar making the old things look rather pretty. Mildred brought home a set of crystals last summer, a gift from Enid. She set them all about the house and chattered away about each of their properties, about the spells they were to meant to enhance. She put one in Julie’s room too. For protection, Mum . She smiled. I put a Heating Spell on them too. I know it gets really drafty in here.

That’s because your mum is silly and leaves the window open all night.

The crystals sent yellow and pink all across Julie’s floor. Now you can have both, Mum. You can be warm and chilly at the same time! Cool, right?

And oh, magic isn’t always a destructive, nebulous force of chaos. Sometimes. Sometimes it’s–

“You’re right, by the way,” Julie says, quietly.

Hecate looks up. “About what?”

She leans against the cabinet. “It has been far too long since we’ve seen each other.”

Hecate opens her mouth and closes it immediately, and Julie really didn’t used to believe that the eyes say all nonsense. Now eyes speak a hesitant affection, like saying anything at all could unravel the whole conversation into something unmanageable. Julie lets her go with a nod and a smile, and returns to her work. The next drawer over has a rather incredible array of candles and decidedly no papers. Wait! There are papers right underneath– No, no, more blank parchment.

She takes out a candle and frowns at it. “By the way, Millie’s been asking when you’ll come over for dinner again.”

Hecate pushes a drawer back in. Julie can’t tell if she looks amused or surprised. “I would have thought she’d be enjoying a term break free of me.”

Julie laughs, warmly. “Hardly, Miss Hardbroom. She’s excited to show you her summer project, but that’s not all. I believe we haven’t watched the Star Wars prequels yet?”

Fondness overwhelms amusement, but not surprise, and she considers the orange crystals again. “No...I don’t believe we have. Do those involve…” Her forehead scrunches up. “ Leia’s mother?”

“The very ones!” Julie sighs at yet more parchment paper. “You know, the first time she came home from school, she practiced Levitation Spells on her old toy lightsaber. Successfully, I might add.” She eyes Hecate and tucks the parchment paper back under the candles. “Weren’t you two having a debate on whether magic and the Force are similar?”

Hecate sighs. “I...acquiesce to their similarity in discipline, but one is still incredibly…fictional.” She vanishes away the crystal. “And in outer space,” she adds, wryly.

Julie watches her again. There’s very little tension in her shoulders. “She’s very happy that you enjoy the films too,” she says, softly.

The surprise vanishes, and Hecate opens the next drawer. “Her Levitation Spells have gotten very strong as of late. I’m certain she’d be able to add a Sounding Charm for that,” she waves her hand, “ridiculous sound those things have. Tell her,” she looks back at Julie with a smile. “Tell Mildred I’d be very glad to join you both for dinner again. Star… Wars as well.”

And there’s that.

“Next Friday,” she says, quiet and a bit scratchy. “We have that Staff Meeting in the morning, and Millie comes home from Maud’s house the day before.”

Hecate stares at her, bewildered in ways Julie is starting to know, and she nods, once.

Julie reaches for another drawer. “You know, I just bought a new box of popcorn. I know that’s your favo–” The drawer catches on something, halfway out. She reaches a hand in to see if it’s a strange crystal, and it’s strangely, incredibly empty. “Hey!” she mutters, and tugs again.

She hears a mild, half-hearted scoff. “Popped corn is merely– Are you alright?”

Julie tugs again, and reaches along the crevices between the drawers on the right and then the left, and still, absolutely nothing. She looks behind her and Hecate has gone from teasing to incredibly concerned. “It’s just–Ugh! It’s stuck! For no good reason!” She glares at the cabinet. “Blasted old thing. Give me my records!”

Hecate carefully steps away, and vanishes the crystals. She lifts a hand, a question. “I believe I spoke earlier of a faster... process?”

(Sometimes, magic, sometimes it’s–)

Julie raises a brow. “Alright, alright,” she says. She steps back, and gestures. “Try it out.”

Hecate nods with a ghost of a smile, and re-tenses her shoulders. She twists her hand, and all of the drawers shoot forward simultaneously. The stuck one stops halfway out, straining against whatever has deemed itself stronger than magic. She scowls and curls her hand into a fist. The drawer strains again, twisting upwards and downwards and it even starts to glow green with the effort.

Julie has to stifle a laugh. “Hecate, it’s–”

“This is impossible," Hecate near growls. “This Spell is able to move stone.” She stalks towards the drawer, hands hovering and curling inward. The green glows stronger and brighter and the drawer doesn’t move another inch. She looks incredulously at her own hands and hovers them again, almost touching the drawer. This time, it scoots backwards, like it’s hiding from them. Really growling, Hecate shakes her head, grabs the handle herself, and tugs.

Before Julie can warn her about dislocating a shoulder, the drawer shoots forward and tumbles Hecate right into her arms. They both stumble back, Hecate haphazardly reaching for Julie’s waist and shoulder to stay upright. The drawer, perhaps angry at being disturbed–Julie won’t underestimate magic for a moment–shoots right out of the cabinet, aimed directly for their heads.

Julie tugs them away, but Hecate regains her footing in time to lift a firm hand and stop the drawer right in its tracks. It hovers, and Julie may be losing it, but the ends of the handle are starting to look like eyes and they’re starting to glare back.

“Shoo,” Hecate says, slow and dangerous.

The drawer juts forward again, clipping Hecate in the nose and crashing her back against Julie once more. This time, she catches her around the waist and doesn’t let go.

Hecate holds her nose and glares back. She tries to be menacing again, and it all just comes out nasally. “I have survived the destruction of this school far too many times to be done in by a piece of mangled furniture.”

A giggle threatens to break free, which won’t do at all. She covers with a stern glare of her own, and raises a finger at the offending drawer. “Go on! Get! You have a job to do, and so do we!”

The drawer definitely cannot be looking at her, but it turns the handle towards the new voice regardless. Julie gives in to the madness and maintains er, eye contact. She feels Hecate take a deep, frustrating breath, and she twists her hand up again, sending a silver spark towards the drawer. It doesn’t budge.

It gives Julie one more glance (God), and seems to nod. Then, finally, it flies backwards and tucks itself back into the cabinet.

Hecate sags against her, just for a moment. Julie lets her arms sag too, so Hecate can leave if she wants. She stays put, just looking at the cabinet, reaching up to lightly rest a hand over Julie’s arm. “I have long suggested to Ada that we take the time to clear out any lingering spellwork in this room.”

Julie tucks her chin on Hecate’s shoulder. “Don’t blame the room because you couldn’t properly scare a cabinet drawer,” she murmurs.

Hecate sighs, sharply. “I could have smashed the entire things into smithereens if I cared to.”

Julie places a hand on Hecate’s arm. “Let me see your nose.”

Hecate turns around, and Julie catches her chin, gently turning her head right and left to check for any swelling or bruising. It looks a little bit red, and she smiles. “Oh, it got you bad.”

Her lips twitch up. “Is that your medical opinion, Nurse Hubble?”

She nods. “Yep! And since you’ve been so terribly injured, I’m afraid those missing records will just have to wait another day.”

Hecate’s face settles into something soft, something a bit wry. “Are you certain? I know that– I know that you need to...You simply want to perform your duties well. We will find them, I promise.” She frowns. “I can certainly enhance the Summoning Spell.”

“You’re very sweet,” Julie says, and reaches up to gently tuck actual escaped hair behind her ear. Her hand settles at the base of Hecate’s neck. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

Hecate’s lips twitch up again, brow furrowing. “That is...not quite a favored adjective, no.”

Julie tilts her head. Her own uncertainties seem to catch. It's new, she knows, all of this. For both of them. There's a life they both more than accepted a long time ago, and there's this spark of something warm and lovely and not easy, no, but that was never Julie’s trouble before, and is far from trouble now. Quite the opposite.

If the Julie Hubble from Parent’s Night several years ago could see her–well, it’s not that she’s ever been wary of change either, and this is the expected and unexpected all whirling together into something almost delicate.

Oddly enough. Just like those cobwebs.

“You are,” she says, smiling. “When you want to be.”

She watches her brow smooth out and there go her eyes again. Like a very cozy fire on a very cold day. Or, well, a very cold cellar.

She starts to reach for Julie, and then hesitates, tucks the arm back against her side, curls a hand. “We should most likely leave.” She lets out an odd snort that no one would ever believe, and looks back at the cabinet. “Before the furniture retaliates and doubles their efforts.”

Julie gives a mock grimace. “Oh, darn. We gave it right back to its friends, and now they're going to steal all of my medical records this time.”

Hecate looks at her a moment, face full of considering, and then offers a hand, unfurled. Julie takes it, smiling again, and Hecate gently folds their hands together. “Before the first strike,” she near murmurs, and lifts her other hand. “Are you settled?”

Julie nods, steeling herself against a transfer. As they leap through a void, Hecate runs a thumb across her palm.

When they reappear in the Infirmary, just beside her desk, she doesn't let go either. Not right away. Not before Julie notices that her Infirmary check-in records have reappeared exactly where she last saw them. Right down to a page corner sticking out of the pile.

Magic. Castles.

She picks them up, inspecting them for any damage, and of course there’s none, of course they’re absolutely fine and not in a cellar. She shakes the first paper at the stone walls, the high stained glass windows. “Are you kidding me!”

Beside her, Hecate smiles, the one that changes her whole face and leaves Julie more than a little breathless and she laughs , shoulders curving with the effort. No, cackles.

Julie grumbles, warm, warm. She points a finger. “I'm taking the last serving of chicken stew, and you can't stop me.”

Hecate reaches for her other hand, brings it up to her lips. Drops a kiss. Genuinely stunned, Julie can only watch her smirk and say, “How about a...oh, what's the word I'm looking for...a race?”

She disappears.

Julie blinks. She stares at the spot Hecate vacated. She shakes the papers again, and grins, despite herself. “You're on!”

#hecate hardbroom #julie hubble #hecate x julie #mumbroom #THIS truly came out of nowhere #fics

[thelaurapriest-blog]

My Goals for 2019

One of my favorite things of the beginning of the year is to reflect on the past year and set goals for the upcoming year.

(Did you read my post on how I did on my 2018 goals yet? If not, read it here.)

I actually start contemplating goals for the new year in November, but I start by looking back over the past 10+ months and asking myself what worked, what didn't work, what I learned, and areas I want to grow in. I also choose a word for the year to make my focus in the new year.

It usually takes me at least 4-6 weeks of reflection to come up with my new list of goals for the new year and it's something I carefully and prayerfully contemplate in light of my word for the year.

This year, my word for 2019 actually came to me in October. And it completely surprised me! In fact, it seemed so different than what I expected that I sat on it for 4 weeks hoping another word would surface.

But it didn't. Instead, the word became more and more clear that it was the right word for me.

I usually tell you my word for the year first before I share my goals, but this year, I decided to share my goals first and then will share my Word for the Year on January 2, 2019. (But you're free to guess my word if you have any ideas after reading my post!)

A Big Perspective Shift

I wrote this on Instagram this morning and wanted to share it here, too:

I've changed a lot this past year. I didn't realize just how profound the change was until I sat down to review my goals for 2018 and how I did on them.

And I realized that I fell short and didn't complete a lot of the goals - and I was totally okay with that!!

It's not because I've grown lazy (though I have gotten into a rut in some areas and I want to work on that in 2019!), but it's because I've really started to see life through different eyes.

The business didn't grow this year (income-wise), and I am totally okay with that. Why? Because I realize that it makes enough - enough to pay our bills, to put money in savings, to give to causes we believe in, and to pay my team. I don't need to hustle hard to take it to the next level because I'm honestly really happy and fulfilled with where it is.

In addition, it affords me the flexibility to be available to my kids and Jesse. If I were to try to work a bunch of extra hours to grow it more, it would mean I'd give up sleep and time with my family. Those are two things I'm just not willing to sacrifice.

After realizing how content I feel with where things are at, I sat down with Jesse and we ran numbers to see if we could actually downsize some areas in our life and in the business so that we could make even less and it would still be okay. (And we did - and this gives me even more freedom and less financial burden!)

If you know me personally (or you've followed me online for awhile), you probably know what a big shift this is for me! I was such a driver and Type A personality. And it came out in a big way in the business.

But I really woke up to reality this year and realized that Kathrynne is going to be 14 soon and I have less than 5 years left (probably) with her under our roof. And in 10 years, we'll likely be empty nesters!

These are the golden years of mothering and I don't want to miss them because I'm so knee deep in growing a successful business.

My Goals for 2019

Personal Goals

1. Read 40 books I already own (I'll be sharing my list of books in a post this coming week. Also, I've finally caved and I think I'm going to use GoodReads to track my reading this year!)

2. Slowly read through the New Testament using the She Reads Truth Bible reading plans at the beginning of each chapter.

3. Listen to 2 audiobooks per month. (I use the Libby app to get these for free.)

4. Complete all of the Organize in 5 Diary tasks to get our home more organized and set up better organizational systems. (Psst! Did you get yours? It's just $9 right now.)

5. Stay offline for 4 hours per day, 5 days per week. (I share more about why I chose this goal here.)

6. Leave my phone in the basement every night. (I talk more about what inspired me to make this goal here.)

7. Go to bed before 10:30 p.m. 5 days per week. (I'm using this little spreadsheet I made to track most of my personal goals)

Marriage Goal

8. Go on an overnight trip with Jesse without the kids.

Motherhood Goal

9. One-on-one time with each child at least 3 times per week. (I am planning to dedicate 40 minutes per child after dinner each evening at least three nights per week to hang out and spend time with each child individually.)

Family Goal

10. Take the kids to at least two continents and 4 states we haven't traveled to. (We're hoping to travel to Europe in the summer and South America at some other point during the year. I have travel alerts set up to track the best prices for flights and am hoping to find a great deal to snag in the next 4-6 months!)

Financial Goals

11. Pay cash to redo our room and renovate our bathroom (we have to pull out the shower and put in a new one because it was installed incorrectly and is leaking and ruining the floor/wall and we want to do a few renovations while we're at it + we want to finally decorate our room - we left it really bare when we moved in and decided to wait to prioritize it in the budget).

12. Pay cash to paint the main floor of our home.

13. Fully fund our Emergency Fund (This is a carry-over from 2018 and we are hoping to have this done in the next few months).

Business Goals

14. Redo/set up a much more intentional customer acquisition experience for all three of our email newsletters.

15. Finish launching the rest of our beginner Your Blogging University courses. (If you want to start a blog, be sure to check out my other site, Your Blogging Mentor.)

16. Launch a Blog Coaching/Accountability Group membership. (I'll be opening this up to a very limited number of people in January of 2019. Stay tuned!)

I will be giving you updates on my progress on my goals - especially the books I'm reading, the organizational projects I'm doing, our travels, how I'm doing at sticking with a consistent bedtime and staying offline, and much more throughout the coming year!

What are YOUR goals for 2019? I'd love to hear! Let us know in the comments!

Psst! In the next week, I'll be sharing The Best Books I Read in 2018, My Word of the Year for 2019, and The Books I Plan to Read in 2019.

Need more goal-setting inspiration? See the goals I set for 2018 here.

[timothyakoonce]

The One-Week Social Selling Action Plan

The One-Week Social Selling Action Plan written by Guest Post read more at Duct Tape Marketing

Think back to a sales situation with a friend of a friend, one where you started with a huge trust advantage: how much smoother and faster was the process?  What if you could replicate that dynamic on a much larger digital scale?

Your friends of friends are not hiding in distant corners of the world, in fact, they’re probably right in front of you, and you can take advantage of warm connections without attending more energy-sucking business mixers or cocktail events.

By the end of this post, you will have a one-week action plan for systematizing social selling to win dozens of more meetings and closed business every month, and once your system is up and running, you’ll find that the time investment is very minimal.

25% of your prospects’ day is spent HERE…

US workers spend 6.3 hours per day in their inboxes (source).  Distraction-heavy social media darlings come and go, but the email inbox is going strong after more than two decades.

Moreover, the inbox is where your prospects go to get things done, including research and purchases.  Twitter and Facebook can generate traffic, but when it comes to getting an immediate action, like a sales conversation, I’d rather hang out where business is being done, not where news articles and cat videos are consumed.

With all that in mind, your action plan will center on lukewarm, email, and in my experience, many business owners and marketers have head trash about it, so let’s cover some common misconceptions:

Misconception 1: “Unsolicited email is SPAM!”

Nope, it’s not as long you comply with a few simple regulations – here are the rules, straight from the FTC.  If you’re outside the US, regulations can vary, so be sure to check the receiving nation’s rules.

Misconception 2: “I always ignore cold email, and my buyers will too.”

Overall, the bar is extremely low when it comes to cold email – most practitioners dip the scale way too far toward quantity over quality, and their campaigns rarely produce results.

Most of us ignore cold emails because they are A) poorly targeted, B) self-serving or irrelevant, C) poorly timed, or D) all of the above.  While bad timing can be tough to completely avoid in every situation, you can always create a well-targeted list and write a compelling message, and by the end of this article, you’ll know how to do that.

Misconception 3: “Maybe cold email works for some people, but it won’t for my high-end prospects.”

I used to think that until our cold campaigns started landing meetings and closed business with Fortune 500s for mid-five figure deals.  While big ticket products might carry longer and more complex sales cycles, high-end buyers are just as lazy as the rest of us, so they use the same methods: Google, social media, and yes, their inboxes.

The strategy in a nutshell

Here’s what you’ll learn how to do:

Use LinkedIn, and later other social networks like Twitter, to curate a list of high-value, warmly-connected prospects.

Hire a virtual assistant to find your targets’ emails and other information.

Write and send email sequences to your list.

Optimize and repeat.

Goals and benchmarks

When it comes to social selling, the trust advantage you enter with will produce results superior to almost any other strategy.  Here’s what you’re going for:

New recipients per week: 150-300 We’re not shotgunning emails to the masses, and 150-300 per week is a list you can curate.

Open rates: 70%+

Response rates: 10%+

Meetings per week: 8-15

Click rates Who cares: we want the shortest path to a conversation, not necessarily traffic to your site.

The One-Week Action Plan

Day 1: Post hiring ad for lead generation VA

If you already have this role filled, then feel free to skip ahead to Day 2.

Since getting applicants will take a few days, we’ll get the ball rolling right away.  Your lead generation VA will be researching prospects according to the plan you develop. He will track down emails, verify them to avoid bounces, and log custom fields in your spreadsheet.  Later, your email platform will pull this data to form your email template.

Even if you’re at a very early stage, if you’re reading this, it’s safe to say that research tasks are below your pay grade, and conducting them will leave you time for little else.

The good news: hiring a lead gen VA is low-cost (we’re talking as low as $20 per week for a very limited campaign).

Step 1: Create Upwork hiring account

If unfamiliar, Upwork is one of the largest freelance hiring platforms.  If you have other hiring resources you trust, feel free to run with them, but if you’re starting from zero, Upwork will let you hire quickly and cheaply.  The client setup process is pretty straightforward, but here’s an article that will guide you through it.

Step 2: Post job ad

Now you will write and post your job ad so you can get the best quality applicants.  Make sure to sell the opportunity a bit, and be very specific.

Job ad example: 

Best practices:

Use Google forms to weed out the templated applications

Simply include the link to the form in your job post and ask applicants to apply. The questions you include are not especially important, as this is just a weed-out tool.

Make sure they know how to do email research

You should not have to explain the step-by-step process for email research, as this is the mainstay of the trade, and any specialist worth their salt should know the basic process for hunting down addresses based on names and company details.

Ideal rates for lead generation research: $4-7/hour

Go for project-based arrangements when you can, estimating 2-4 hours of work to find 50-100 targets.

Step 3: Invite applicants

If you’re new to Upwork, it will take some time to attract applicants, so it helps to send invites to the job ad as you’re getting started.

Typical search parameters I use to find lead generations VAs:

Application invite example:

Upwork tips

Best lead generation talent: The Philippines and Eastern Europe

Watch for red flags, but don’t get too hung up on experience or feedback ratings

While you should keep an eye out for negative feedback, a millions amazing reviews and thousands of working hours logged do not always indicate reliability.  Keep in mind that there are many highly experienced low-cost specialists who are new to Upwork and have little official history.

Build your hiring history to attract better and cheaper talent

Once you build a track record on the platform it becomes easier to bring on top notch people.

Prioritize responsiveness and written language skills

Once you develop a shortlist of applicants, send them messages and ask to follow up questions.  Their responsiveness and written language skills are often litmus tests for later performance.

Hire fast, fire fast

Don’t wring your hands to find the perfect candidate – start testing specialists, and move on if they’re not working out.

Keep great freelancers on board

If you make an awesome hire, and you can afford it, it’s worth the investment to find things for them to do so you can keep them with you for the long haul.

Day 2: Create lead research procedure

Sometimes determining your target audience can make your head spin – maybe your business serves a variety of different niches.

On Day 2, you’ll zero in on the prospects who inhabit your personal network and are most likely to purchase, or at least refer you to someone who will.

In the background, the VA applications will be drifting in, so you’ll have options to consider on days 3 and beyond.

Step 1: Complete The 3-Question Targeting Diagnostic

If you’re having trouble pinpointing the ideal niche to start with, give this diagnostic a try:

Where do you have leverage?

Which of your client verticals are your champions?

These are niches represented by clients who are chomping at the bit to give you testimonials and refer you business since you’ve created huge wins for them.

Where is there market growth?

Where, on a macro level, are the money winds blowing?

All things being equal, you may prioritize big data software companies over printing companies, for example.

Who is most receptive?

In which verticals do you experience smooth, seamless sales processes, instead of arduous uphill battles?

Which clients just get it?

Step 2: Determine your targets’ revenue floor and ceiling

Go after clients where the investment in your solution will be an easy-fitting line item and not a budget boondoggle.  To identify the companies that can afford you, keep in mind that marketing budgets typically represent 7-10% of total yearly revenues (source).

How can you estimate total yearly revenues if they’re not public?  You can guess by multiplying the number of employees by the typical revenue per employee for the industry you’re targeting.  In the ad agency world, for example, $100k-200k yearly revenues per employee is typical.  You can easily find the rough number of employees from LinkedIn, which you’ll do on the next step. While you your prospects should easily afford you, you also want to ensure they’re not too big to accommodate.

Step 3: Set up LinkedIn advanced search

You have a clear picture of your buyer or at least a solid guess, and now it’s time to build your LinkedIn advanced search and see how it plays out.

You might be skeptical since many of our Linkedin connections are loose at best.  I felt the same way.  What I found after hitting pay dirt with this strategy is that the power lies with combined mental triggers: when you stack the relevance of your offer (more on that later) with the trust of even a loose personal connection, it’s often enough to lock down the conversation.

Here is an Advanced search I used to source a list used to generate a consistent stream of 7-10 sales consultations each week, in the niche of creative service agencies sized 11-50 employees:

Note: while the extra search parameters provided by LinkedIn Premium speeds up the process, you can avoid this expense with additional research in the form of guessing and checking titles and company sizes.  (I think splurging for Premium is worth it).

What if you don’t get enough search results or enough relevant results?

If the results are limited or irrelevant, refine your search until they’re mostly on point.

It’s ok to start small.  As you connect with more people, you’ll develop a larger web of 1st and 2nd-degree connections, and your network will grow by leaps and bounds.  This is The Connection Snowball Effect, and what starts as a limited group will quickly become scalable.

Why not just send InMails?

I tried this strategy and got stagnant results.  A few reasons why I gave up on it:

Most people don’t check their LinkedIn inboxes regularly.

Unless you are 1st degree connected, your InMail allowance is limited to just a few per day.

InMail convos tend to quickly drop off, and it’s tough getting communications from InMail to the calendar.

Bottom line: the email inbox is where you want to be, for the reasons described earlier.

Step 4: Create spreadsheet template and custom fields

Now that you have solid search results, it’s time to set up your spreadsheet template. (Google Sheets is recommended since it makes collaboration easy).

Your email platform will be pulling fields from your spreadsheet to create a customized, yet automated email template, so the syntax of each field in your spreadsheet should match up with the way you have each logged in your platform (more on platforms later).

When you’re determining your fields, use these heuristics:

How can you demonstrate impressive research about your prospects (even if it’s automated)?

What knowledge will fit nicely into a spreadsheet cell?

What knowledge will look natural and relevant in an email?

Custom field ideas:

Previous clients your recipients worked with.

Company nickname: Consider how employees in the target company refer to it ie. NOT “ACME Creative Inc.”, just “ACME”.

Reference a recently-launched product.

A new job title they’re hiring for, and the hiring site you used to find it.

Years in business.

Intimidated by custom fields?  No worries.  At a minimum, just make sure you have columns for FirstName, LastName, and Email.  You can get fancy later on if you’d prefer.

Spreadsheet example

Step 5: Curate your list and make LinkedIn connections

Now that you have your custom fields set up in a spreadsheet template, you can start curating your list.

I tried to automate everything from the beginning, asking my VA to build the list soup to nuts based on a search parameter.  Once your VA fully understands your target audience, they can take everything over, but at the outset, a bit of curation on your part will make the difference between dozens of conversions and completely stagnant results.  Plus, it’s your personal network, and you probably want to have at least some control over who you’re hitting up.

To curate the list, as you peruse the LinkedIn search, simply copy/paste each target’s LinkedIn URL to the appropriate column in your spreadsheet (you’ll find the URL under the profile pic).

As you go along, connect on LinkedIn with the prospects you’re adding to the list, if you’re not connected already.  You can expect reconnection rates of 50%+ since you’re already a 2nd-degree connection.  This is powerful because even if they don’t accept, they are likely to become at least loosely familiar with your name and face, which will go a long way when you start sending emails a few days from now.

Days 3-6: Hire VA and delegate lead research

Now that you have a curated list, your VA has work to do.  On days 3-6, your VA will be gathering fuel for your campaigns by completing the missing fields and finding the emails and other info for your warm, personally connected prospects.

Step 1: Arrange interviews and delegate research on curated list

Shortlist your VA applicants based on relevant experience and their follow through on instructions, and send them rough instructions and the curated list.

From there, set up interviews for the purpose of further explaining and clarifying, and then let them get off and running with research.  If possible, record these interviews and provide your VA with the video for future reference.  If your budget allows it, bring on multiple VAs and treat this exercise as a test assignment.

Again, make sure your VAs should have their own email research procedures, as this task is a mainstay of the trade.

Step 2: Delegate email scrubbing

To keep your bounce rates low, and mitigate your risk of having your domain flagged by email providers, make sure to run your list through an email scrubber, which checks if addresses are valid.  Bulk Email Checker is a good option, although many email platforms have this functionality built it from the start.

Step 3: Review progress and correct course

After your VA finds 50 addresses, review their progress.  Later, when they are doing all the curation and research, make sure to leave detailed feedback within the spreadsheet when your VA inputs an irrelevant target.  Before long, they will understand your target market.

Day 7: Write and schedule email sequences

By now you hired one or two skilled lead generations specialists, and they have built a list of 50-100 prospects who are warmly connected to you.

Now you will setup your email platform and write your sequences.  Stay alerted: this is the point at which many starts going down the over-complication rabbit hole.  You do not need to build a Rube Goldberg machine of sales funnels and marketing automation that’s integrated into absolutely everything else in your business.  Though there are a few technical considerations, which I’ll cover, at the end of the day we’re simply sending emails with the aim to lock down a meeting.  You’ll put each recipient into a sequence, each message spaced out by 3-7 days, and when someone shows interest, you put them into your CRM.

Step 1: Set up outbound email platform

Email platforms are always changing, and setting up the campaigns in each one is beyond the scope of this article (that good news: most platforms are easy to use).

When you’re picking your outbound email platform, make sure you’re NOT using one intended for newsletters, autoresponders, and other inbound marketing to those who have opted into your list: you won’t use products like MailChimp, aWeber, or ConvertKit.

Here are a few solid outbound email options:

Quickmail (what I use)

ToutApp

SendGrid

Step 2: Set up alternate domain and DKIM/SPF registrations

Make sure you’re sending your cold emails from an alternate domain, NOT your main one, which you use for all other communications.  By setting up an alternate, if you get flagged as spam, you won’t have your main domain trashed by email providers.  Instead of being [email protected] you’ll become [email protected].  From there, have your alternate URL redirect to your main.

Without going too far into the technical forest, SPF, or the Sender Policy Framework, and DKIM, domain keys identified mail, tell recipient email providers that you have authorized your email service, like Google apps or your outbound email platform, to send emails on your behalf.  Don’t worry if you’re not sure how to do this – most platforms offer step-by-step instructions.

Step 3: Write your main offer email

The quality of your list is 75% of the battle.  The remaining 25% is the quality of your messaging, which is where we are now.

One of the most powerful mental triggers you can leverage is the community and the trust that goes along with it.  Being even loosely connected to your prospect will make you safe in their eyes, so be sure to lead with the connection.  Also, some custom field-driven black magic never hurts.

You’re probably eager to see that million dollar email template, right?

Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all template, and the canned messages that float around on sales forums are of limited value because they’re not properly crafted to your situation.  With that in mind, use other people’s templates for inspiration only. 

But here’s what I’ll do: I’ll guide you through the conceptual framework for what I’ve seen work by using question-based heuristics, and then I’ll contextualize it all by showing you a template I’ve used successfully.  Sound good?

Overarching best practices

Keep it relatively short: 2-5 brief paragraphs

Tone: write like you’re reconnecting with the friend of a friend you met at that cocktail party.

Avoid marketing copy: no false scarcity, no gushing adjectives, no litany of features and benefits.

Subject Lines

How can you be intriguing without being deceptive or misleading?

Best practices:

Include custom fields in your subject line (usually the company name suffices).

Questions tend to get higher open rates ie. What does ACME look for in a website rebuild?

Beginning (1st paragraph)

How can you demonstrate understanding where all others have missed the mark?

How can you make them feel like a unique snowflake instead of another brick in the wall?

Best practices

Lead with customization, demonstrate research.

Use first names (“Hi Bob”, not “Dear Mr. Peterson”).

Ideal place to include custom fields ie. recent job openings, product rollouts, relevant clients they’ve worked with, funding rounds…

Middle (2nd and later paragraphs)

How can you demonstrate falsifiable results?

What outcome is so compelling or alleviating that even the faint glimmer of its realization would compel them to talk to you?

BAD: “We’ve built stunning websites for our tech clients”

BETTER: “Our sites have helped our SaaS clients convert 5% more leads in less than 3 months.”

What if you don’t have a bunch of sexy case studies like that?

Don’t worry – you can mention relevant clients you’ve worked with or other wins.  Just try to be as specific as possible.  Remember that your offer should help your prospect to easily visualize an amazing outcome.

End: Call to Action (CTA)

So what action are you going for?  Should you direct your prospects to a sales page, a white paper, a tripwire product, a calendar widget, a webinar?  There are many choices, and the CTA you choose will depend on your overall strategy.

That said if you want leads for a high-end product or service, and you’re getting started with cold email, go for a simple, low-commitment conversation.  If your list and messaging are on-point, this is NOT too much to ask.

So what does low commitment mean?  Let’s answer that with examples…

This is NOT low commitment:  Can we schedule a meeting next week to see if you’re a fit?

 “Meeting” = long and grinding, and “to see if you’re a fit” = one-sided sales pitch.

BETTER:

Can we chat briefly next week so I can give you all the details on the program?

Would you be interested in a free review of your current lead generation and sales approaches?  We’ll go over what you’re doing, I’ll tell you all about our program, and if nothing else, you’ll leave with a helpful idea or two.

Put your CTA at the end, and don’t muddle it.

You’ve probably received terrible cold emails that have multiple actions to complete: the sender wants you to download a free ebook, set up a demo, and schedule a meeting, all in one email.  Decision fatigue sets in, so you do nothing.

Template example

The following is a template I used to reach out to my 1st and 2nd-degree connections in the boutique marketing agency niche.

= Custom fields pulled from spreadsheet

SUBJECT: Found you on Linkedin, curious how handles lead generation…

Results (after week 1)

Step 4: Write follow up emails

What should you do after you send the first email?  What happens if you don’t get a response?

Don’t give up after the first touch point because it’s often the second, third, or fourth emails where you’ll get an agreement, and herein lies the power of sequences.

Email 2: Professional persistence

How can you demonstrate professional persistence, and show that you care enough to follow up?  Usually, a casual one-liner does the job.

Email 3: Risk reversal

How can you reduce your recipient’s uncertainty and mystery about your offering?  How can you make the pain of remaining the same more than the pain of fulfilling your call to action?  This is where you might link to a PDF or an info page.

Email 4: Loss aversion

If they’ve been busy, on the fence, or interested but unsure, how can you tip them over the edge?  How can you gently imply that an opportunity is about to pass them by?

What happens if you still get no response?

Leave them alone for a while, but in the future, you might send them helpful content, or a different offer.

Reminder: always honor opt-out requests promptly

Do this by setting the recipient as “do not contact” in your email platform.

Days 8+: Optimize and continue

Once your campaigns are rolling, the first priority is building up enough warm and connected targets to fuel your campaigns.  As you expand your LinkedIn connections, you’ll see a snowball effect, and a higher percentage of new contacts will accept your requests.

You can apply this exact same strategy using Twitter – simply search for niche-relevant keywords among your followers and build up your list that way.

From there, it’s all about a/b testing.  Testing can create overwhelm, and sometimes it’s tough to find a good starting point.  Begin by testing subject lines, and once there’s a clear winner based on open rate, move on to testing your body content.

Focus on open rate and response rate.  Don’t put too many links in your messages, and don’t worry too much about click rate – after all, you want meetings, not traffic.

Send no more than 50 emails per day

The small batch approach makes it easier to monitor results and correct course before you either blow out your list or spend too much time and money on lead research that’s not working.

Also, you need to let your domain warm up in the eyes of Google and other email providers.  If you send hundreds of emails immediately, it looks unnatural and you might get flagged.

Resources

Click here to get all the tools you need to implement your Action Plan.

What you’ll find:

Video webinar of this Action Plan so you can see how it plays out.

Targeting Game Plan Template so you can get laser-focused on your most likely buyers.

Email templates used to win five-figure engagements.

The spreadsheet template I use to create all my custom emails.

About the Author

Dan Englander is the founder of Sales Schema, where he helps marketing agencies grow by way of done-for-you lead generation and sales consulting.  He’s the author of Mastering Account Management.  Previously he was the first hire at the New York animation studio IdeaRocket.  He’s a decent living room guitarist and he makes a mean paella.

from Duct Tape Marketing https://www.ducttapemarketing.com/social-selling-action-plan/

#Duct Tape Marketing