royalapocalypse

[royalapocalypse]

my family is the most dysfunctional family i’ve ever seen

#dark acamedia #toxic family #toxic parents #dysfunctional family #trauma #traumatic childhood #daddy issues #mommy issues #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #classic academia #childhood trauma #toxic household

[royalapocalypse]

do you actually not like reciving gifts or did you just grow up being told how expensive it was to raise you?

and now, anytime anyone spends any money on you,you fell guilty

[royalapocalypse]

how it feels like talking to my dad

#daddy issues #childhood trauma #toxic household #parental issues #mommy issues #trauma #toxic parents #parents #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #classic academia

[royalapocalypse]

i exist within a universe full of misery where my house is a graveyard of words and it is also the place where i first learnt about heartbreak.

#i hate it so much #toxic household #my house is not a home #heartbreak #trauma #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #childhood trauma #toxic parents #classic academia #set me on fire #i want to disappear

[royalapocalypse]

god knew i would be too powerful if i got my hands on an electric guitar right fucking now.

#electric guitar #get me an electric guitar pls #i will kms #i cannot stop the urge #they look so pretty and cool #music #when is it my turn to be happy?

[royalapocalypse]

what to do when even academic validation isn’t working anymore? Like if i get good grades i don’t feel proud or a slight sense of accomplishment i don’t feel like i’ve done something or i’ve achieved something, just a sense of relief that it’s over like it’s just another chore i am obliged to do like i wouldn’t be me without this.

#dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #i have issues #i have no motivation #im just procrastinating #how to stop procrastinating #i crave academic validation but i don't study #academia aesthetic #academic struggles #academic validation #classic academia #studystudystudy #i should study

[royalapocalypse]

listen bro i am just trying to read this book and listen to my silly little songs and watch my comfort movies while eating chocolate ice cream. do not ask me where i see myself in five years i cant even see myself getting through this week yet here we are.

#i have no motivation #set me on fire

[royalapocalypse]

yeah alcohol is cool but have you ever had your father look at you with sheer pride?

me neither, pass the bottle bitch.

[royalapocalypse]

i don’t know what my kind of people do, people who have no dreams or goals to achieve, people who have not planned out their future, who have no idea what is happening or perhaps what will happen. it is so hard to see everyone having everything figured out and you’re just kind of there, just existing when every part of your being is screaming “you do not belong here. you do not belong here. you do not belong. you do not. you. you. you. will. never. belong.”

#i have no motivation #i will just rot away fr #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #set me on fire

[royalapocalypse]

I thought i was okay with being alone. i made myself be okay with being alone. I thought it wouldn’t bother me seeing everyone have their own people. i thought it was easy to walk these corridors surrounded by ghosts of my own lonesome. But on some days at night when i lay wide awake on my bed, i stare at the walls and i feel so lonely i count sheeps and force myself to sleep.

#sheepifying my loneliness away #gaslighting myself into thinking it doesn’t hurt and everything is fine #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia

[royalapocalypse]

i mention “i work better under pressure” as my strength as if i didn’t spend the whole night panicking.

#pressure #work pressure #stress #anxitey #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #panicking

[royalapocalypse]

did you think i’ll stay awake till 3 am and give you advice when i can’t even handle my own problems?? absolutely.

#dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #advice #comfort #3 am #problems

[royalapocalypse]

i am perfectly fine except for the trauma

#i be like i am fine and then cry myself to sleep #i am fine though #girlboss is losing the life battle #set me on fire #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia

[royalapocalypse]

my parents be like “no pressure” and then proceeds to say the most pressurising thing known to mankind.

#i am so exhausted #when will it stop #daddy issues #mommy issues #shit sucks #toxic household #dark acamedia #light academia #desi academia #desi tumblr #chaotic academia #parental issues

[royalapocalypse]

I hated school but it scares me how much i want to learn, i want to learn about anything and everything. Tell me about the recent book you read, tell me about the stars and tell me how to recognise the planets and the constellations, tell me about the theories of psychologists, tell me about Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde, tell me about morals and your opinions and the society and tell me about crime and norms and your favourite character, teach me latin, greek and any language you speak, tell me about random fun facts you know, tell me about norse mythology you’re so obsessed with and tell me about the greek god and goddesses you adore, tell me your favourite quotes and lines and poems and stories, tell me about mythical creatures and the multiverse and the world in your head you always seem to travel to. i want to learn about history and philosophy and sociology and criminology and science and astronomy and i want to learn about media and archaeology and architecture and design and biology and languages and law and– i want to study something the four walls of my classroom could never teach i want to learn something that is beyond the daily life.

#i have no motivation #i don’t know where i’m going with this #i don’t know where to start #dark acamedia #light academia #study aesthetic #i want to study but i don’t want to study #academic validation is so hot #but i want to be the smartest person #desi academia #chaotic academia #learning #biology #psychology #astronomy #media #shakespeare #oscar wilde #latin #greek #criminology #archaeology #architecture #norse mythology

[royalapocalypse]

it is so funny how i am always ready to throw hands with a zombie but a simple phone call will make me lose my shit

#skskskks #monsters don’t scare me but your call does #am i the drama? #maybe i am the drama #ghosts #monsters #phone calls #dark acamedia #light academia #chaotic academia #desi academia #zombie

[royalapocalypse]

What is love if not reading a book anotated by your lover