#i will be chewing on this genasi forever

[cassafrasscr]

I continue to have so many thoughts about Ashton.

I've seen a handful of posts accusing Ashton of being selfish and power-hungry, and I don't think that's completely inaccurate, per se. I don't think it's fair to frame it as Ashton just wanting power for it's own sake without considering the larger context of the threat they're facing.

Let's look back on the Hells' first battle with Otohan.

Ashton was almost completely useless in that fight. He got knocked out twice in the space of a few rounds. Which, no shade. With her Echoes in play, Otohan was almost able kill Keyleth (a level 20 Archdruid, plus her elemental Wildshape) in a single round.

Ashton's whole job is to tank hits and deal damage. With an enemy that can deal out enough damage in one round to put the tank out of commission, his ability to mitigate damage to the rest of the party is severely hampered (if not cancelled out completely).

The only reason Ashton didn't also die in that fight is that his friends healed them enough that they could get back up again, and they were able to make a run for it before Otohan started going back to kill the PCs she had already knocked out.

And that was just Otohan. One of Ludinus' right hand generals, sure, but still nowhere near as strong as Ludinus himself (or even Predathos, if it gets released). Even once they defeat Otohan, the fight that's still in store for Bell's Hells is near insurmountable.

Taliesin has said in a previous 4SD (don't remember which one, sorry) that this fight was the moment that Ashton realized just how invested with this new group they had become. The moment he couldn't protect his friends was the moment he realized that he finally had the family he'd been missing... and by then three of them (Orym, Laudna, and Fearne - probably the PCs Ash was closest to at the time) were dead.

Not only could Ashton not protect his friends, he also ran. He left his friends behind and half of them ended up getting killed. I think Ashton may feel they left their friends for dead in that moment, the same way the Nobodies left him for dead after the Hexum Heist.

Now, I'm not sure I would necessarily equivocate these two situations - this is just where I think Ashton's head might be given recent events. I don't think he would see any significant difference between the Nobodies leaving him after his fall, and him running for his life during the Otohan fight. If I'm remembering correctly, this is also around the time that Ashton really started to double down on their "Nobody gets left behind" rule.

Now that Ash is aware of how much he cares about the other Hells, he will do absolutely anything to keep them. Bell's Hells is too invested in the fight against Ludinus to turn back, and Ashton is never going to leave them again. So if the Hells won't abandon the fight, and Ash won't abandon the Hells, their only option is to get strong enough to keep their friends safe.

So of course Ashton took the Shard of Rau'shan when Fearne didn't want it. No one else seemed able or willing to take it, so Ashton charged ahead with his decision the way he tends to do.

Was it arrogant and hubristic? YES. Was it a power-hungry thing to do? YES. Was it wrong to keep it secret from the rest of the group? YES. But there's not a single force in Exandria that will make Ashton regret taking that shard if it helps him protect his friends even a little bit.

It also feels fitting to me that one of the few things Ashton can't protect them from is his own poor decision making.

#also i think ashton wildly overestimated his ability to survive absorbing the shard #he's already survived so many things that should have killed them #he was told multiple times before this that it was a miracle he was anywhere near functional #why not throw more nonsense into the mix? #i will be chewing on this genasi forever #ashton greymoore #cr3 #cr3 e77 #critical role spoilers #meta #long post #critical role #i have so many thoughts about ashton

[unholystagepresence]

Bad Dreams (Version 2)

Title: Bad Dreams

Fandom: Critical Role C3

Characters: The Crown Keepers

Summary: Orym wakes from a bad dream

Notes: Spoiler-adjacent for C3E33. Fuck you, comfort fic. Except this one has a new sad ending.

“Orym?” The soft whisper of his name just a bit off to his left was enough to shake Orym awake, his eyes shooting open to find dark sky and twinkling stars, glowing embers of a dying fire just barely lighting the five foot area around the pit they smoldered in. He was drenched in sweat, his skin clammy and pale, his hands still shaking from the nightmare he’d experienced. Slowly, he sat up from where he’d been curled up in the crook of Fearne’s knees, and turned to see Dorian had half lifted himself from the ground where Fearne had him trapped, his brows drawn tight in concern. “You alright?” he asked, softly, just loud enough for Orym to hear and not disturb their companions. Orym’s gaze slid from the genasi’s to where Fearne’s ear flicked, and she let out a soft snort. Dorian followed his gaze, then slowly extricated himself from Fearne’s grasp, pausing each time she so much as twitched, until he could shuffle awkwardly a few inches away to stand. He took a moment to brush the dirt from his cloak, and then tossed his head over to the edge of camp. Orym didn’t hesitate to find his own feet and follow along. When Dorian sat, he plopped down right next to him. “You were making some pretty scary noises over there...bad dreams?” “...Yeah.” “You want to talk about it?” Dorian stayed silent while Orym chewed on the decision, the only sounds that Dariax’s snoring and of the gentle breeze that blew a bit of his hair onto Orym’s shoulder. Orym didn’t make any move to brush it off. Already, the shaking in his hands had subsided and the details of the nightmare were already fading from his mind, as such things often did. “It was just...the typical sort of nightmare. I think I died.” “Oh.” Dorian let out a long breath, his eyes widening as if he might have gotten into a situation he was ill-prepared for. Orym knew that much was unlikely true...Dorian was often well-prepared save for a lack of confidence in his own ability. He continued, already comforted simply by Dorian’s living presence. “Because I was protecting people. Protecting friends. And I failed.” There was silence once more, now Orym giving Dorian the space to think on how he wanted to reply. He tilted his head up and picked out Catha and Ruidus, not too far off from each other at this time of year and night, both gently illuminating the sky. Watching over them. The thought brought the barest hint of a smile to Orym’s lips and added to the comfort of the moment. “Must’ve been a pretty awful fight for you to go down.” Dorian finally postulated. ‘There, see,’ Orym thought to himself, not daring to say it aloud, ‘you found just the right thing to say.’ He smiled, returning his gaze to his companion. “That, or it was a meat pie even I couldn’t finish.” Sensing an opening to help ease the tension, Dorian leapt on it with an overdramatic gasp. “Now that, my dear Orym, is impossible!” They shared a quiet chuckle in an effort to let their friends sleep, and then Dorian reached over to tug Orym to his side, squeezing him in gently. Orym’s own arm reached up, though it didn’t reach the other side of Dorian’s waist, and they sat in the embrace, as Orym’s heart finally joined the rest of his body in understanding that it was safe. He was safe. They were all safe. Maybe not forever, but for right now...safe. “Whatever it was...it was just a dream.”

“Yeah...just a dream.” “Am I interrupting something?” Orym had heard Fearne’s hoof prints slowly approaching them in the grass, though evidently Dorian had not been so perceptive, as he jumped half out of his skin. “’Cause if I am I can go watch from over there instead.” And yet, despite that, she simply sprawled herself on her back over both men’s laps, wiggling a bit to find the most comfortable exact position...and try to disguise her hand trying to slip into Orym’s pocket from around both their backs. “Geeze, Fearne, a little bit of warning maybe?” “Nah, you make really funny faces when you’ve been spooked.” “I- th-that’s-” Orym stared Fearne down and she finally met his eye as her fingers slipped around the single copper piece his pocket held. He simply raised an eyebrow, and watched as she contemplated her next move, before she simply shrugged and left the copper where it was. “Can’t fault a girl for trying.” “It was a good attempt, but maybe pick better targets.” Dorian looked from one to the other with the least subtle amount of confusion, before another voice joined the fray, and then another. Seems they hadn’t been quite quiet enough after all. “Oh hey, is this where the cuddle pile moved to? I was gettin’ cold.” “A cuddle pile without me? That’s so mean! Scootch over!” Dariax settled himself to Orym’s right, squishing him in against Dorian in the impromptu cuddle pile, while Opal over dramatically flopped onto Dorian’s left side.

Dorian grimaced. “Opal can you not...get your goop all over my cloak?” “Ugh, it’s not like I can control it, just get a new cloak!”

Trapped in the middle of the snuggles and good-natured bickering, Orym caught Fearne’s eye again.  Her expression was fond, but a little sad in a way that wasn’t quite like her, and knowing. But calm. “I think we can stay here. For just a little while,” she whispered, so only he could hear, as she nuzzled her cheek into Dorian’s thigh.

Orym swallowed, but nodded, that same knowing calm settling in over him. “Yeah...yeah.” For just a little while.

#critical role #cr spoilers #bell's hells #the crown keepers #cr exu #dorym #dorian storm #orym #cr opal #fearne calloway #dariax zaveon #sam writes stories #there i made a sad one because I couldn't decide #because I guess I'm a monster #it just be how I do #your tears sustain me

[unholystagepresence]

Bad Dreams (Version 1)

Title: Bad Dreams

Fandom: Critical Role C3

Characters: The Crown Keepers

Summary: Orym wakes from a bad dream

Notes: Spoiler-adjacent for C3E33. Fuck you comfort fic.

“Orym?” The soft whisper of his name just a bit off to his left was enough to shake Orym awake, his eyes shooting open to find dark sky and twinkling stars, glowing embers of a dying fire just barely lighting the five foot area around the pit they smoldered in. He was drenched in sweat, his skin clammy and pale, his hands still shaking from the nightmare he’d experienced. Slowly, he sat up from where he’d been curled up in the crook of Fearne’s knees, and turned to see Dorian had half lifted himself from the ground where Fearne had him trapped, his brows drawn tight in concern. “You alright?” he asked, softly, just loud enough for Orym to hear and not disturb their companions. Orym’s gaze slid from the genasi’s to where Fearne’s ear flicked, and she let out a soft snort. Dorian followed his gaze, then slowly extricated himself from Fearne’s grasp, pausing each time she so much as twitched, until he could shuffle awkwardly a few inches away to stand. He took a moment to brush the dirt from his cloak, and then tossed his head over to the edge of camp. Orym didn’t hesitate to find his own feet and follow along. When Dorian sat, he plopped down right next to him. “You were making some pretty scary noises over there...bad dreams?” “...Yeah.” “You want to talk about it?” Dorian stayed silent while Orym chewed on the decision, the only sounds that Dariax’s snoring and of the gentle breeze that blew a bit of his hair onto Orym’s shoulder. Orym didn’t make any move to brush it off. Already, the shaking in his hands had subsided and the details of the nightmare were already fading from his mind, as such things often did. “It was just...the typical sort of nightmare. I think I died.” “Oh.” Dorian let out a long breath, his eyes widening as if he might have gotten into a situation he was ill-prepared for. Orym knew that much was unlikely true...Dorian was often well-prepared save for a lack of confidence in his own ability. He continued, already comforted simply by Dorian’s living presence. “Because I was protecting people. Protecting friends. And I failed.” There was silence once more, now Orym giving Dorian the space to think on how he wanted to reply. He tilted his head up and picked out Catha and Ruidus, not too far off from each other at this time of year and night, both gently illuminating the sky. Watching over them. The thought brought the barest hint of a smile to Orym’s lips and added to the comfort of the moment. “Must’ve been a pretty awful fight for you to go down.” Dorian finally postulated. ‘There, see,’ Orym thought to himself, not daring to say it aloud, ‘you found just the right thing to say.’ He smiled, returning his gaze to his companion. “That, or it was a meat pie even I couldn’t finish.” Sensing an opening to help ease the tension, Dorian leapt on it with an overdramatic gasp. “Now that, my dear Orym, is impossible!” They shared a quiet chuckle in an effort to let their friends sleep, and then Dorian reached over to tug Orym to his side, squeezing him in gently. Orym’s own arm reached up, though it didn’t reach the other side of Dorian’s waist, and they sat in the embrace, as Orym’s heart finally joined the rest of his body in understanding that it was safe. He was safe. They were all safe. Maybe not forever, but for right now...safe. “Whatever it was...it was just a dream.”

“Yeah...just a dream.” “Am I interrupting something?” Orym had heard Fearne’s hoof prints slowly approaching them in the grass, though evidently Dorian had not been so perceptive, as he jumped half out of his skin. “’Cause if I am I can go watch from over there instead.” And yet, despite that, she simply sprawled herself on her back over both men’s laps, wiggling a bit to find the most comfortable exact position...and try to disguise her hand trying to slip into Orym’s pocket from around both their backs. “Geeze, Fearne, a little bit of warning maybe?” “Nah, you make really funny faces when you’ve been spooked.” “I- th-that’s-” Orym stared Fearne down and she finally met his eye as her fingers slipped around the single copper piece his pocket held. He simply raised an eyebrow, and watched as she contemplated her next move, before she simply shrugged and left the copper where it was. “Can’t fault a girl for trying.” “It was a good attempt, but maybe pick better targets.” Dorian looked from one to the other with the least subtle amount of confusion, before another voice joined the fray, and then another. Seems they hadn’t been quite quiet enough after all. “Oh hey, is this where the cuddle pile moved to? I was gettin’ cold.” “A cuddle pile without me? That’s so mean! Scootch over!” Dariax settled himself to Orym’s right, squishing him in against Dorian in the impromptu cuddle pile, while Opal over dramatically flopped onto Dorian’s left side.

Dorian grimaced. “Opal can you not...get your goop all over my cloak?” “Ugh, it’s not like I can control it, just get a new cloak!”

Trapped in the middle of the snuggles and good-natured bickering, Orym managed to catch Dorian’s eye again. Dorian rolled his eyes, and the halfling shrugged, leading them both to chuckle again as Orym let himself relax and settle in against Dorian’s side, letting himself just enjoy the moment and the soft, comforting circles Dorian’s fingers made on his opposite shoulder. For now, they were safe. That was enough.

#critical role #cr spoilers #bell's hells #the crown keepers #cr exu #dorym #dorian storm #orym #cr opal #fearne calloway #dariax zaveon #sam writes stories #yeah i was traumatized into writing comfort fic by that episode what of it #what are you going to do about it? #cry? #That's right you'd better cry because I'm crying too #Don't worry I made a worse one