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neos-schlond-poofa · 5 months

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An Ode to Angie Beneviento

Okay, so this actually will be a semi-serious post. LIKE I know I don't usually post serious stuff unless its an angst edit HOWEVER it IS Angie's birthday and she actually is a very important character to me. Obviously not the most important character to me though, that's Donna, but that is another post for another birthday.

But... I really love Angie's route. And it's really important to me. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm not really an open person about serious stuff (I THINK?? sam if you read this tell me pleak) or I'm talkative, but I think this is worth putting out there. Especially because of how much it means to me.

I'm ace. Like this really isn't me coming out, like I've always kind of been out as ace?? But I never really said it either on here but like I am ace and I never tried to hide it at least. This is so odd like this is kind of like me coming out. But it isn't. BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT. I just need to say that so this makes more sense.

Seeing Angie just straight up say she's asexual just made me feel so happy.

I can't tell you a single other ace person in media that (that isn't Todd from Bojack or also aromantic), and just seeing someone really silly like me? That made me feel so nice.

I tried to wish away me being ace before. Like, completely fine with the gay and non-binary stuff for the most part, but being ace? Hated it. Like, I don't like ess e ex (I really don't want this post to be hidden because I used the word), nor did I ever really have an interest in it. And I didn't want to have an interest in it really. Kind of? It's complicated.

I wanted to be like the others really. I've had relationships before where I hate myself for being ace, because I have never had an ace partner, and I just will never be enough for them because of that (minus the one time I did have an ace partner, but they were very disliking of physical touch which I do love). I used to try to convince myself that I can just stop being this way, I can change for them, all so they wouldn't leave me. I was ashamed of being this way, despite being so usually proud of my other parts of my identity. There was even a time when one of my exes tried to convince me that I wasn't ace too, but definitely didn't make this situation worse. I just didn't like being this way.

Although, it wasn't as strong when I started playing Resident Lover + when I got into my current relationship. Like, I am fairly fine now. Yeah, I still kind of do feel bad for being ace but like? Who cares? I mean I do but I know them and I know she would never hate me for that, it's just perfect. I love them so much.

But I still always have those thoughts. And I'm not saying Resident Lover completely eradicated those thoughts... but they did help them.

Seeing Angie just... openly say she's ace and set her boundaries and MC just accepting it? It was like. Amazing. I never really saw something like that (Todd from Bojack does NOT count, he is a guy. And I am not a girl either but I feel closer connected to girls because they're so much sillier and nice plus also like Angie more).

It was just so nice seeing representation that I hadn't really seen before, and one where I could see a character get into a happy relationship with someone they really love, and it all work out. Angie helped me accept being ace, she's helped me being proud of it, unlike any character before (okay sorry Todd). And, it's her birthday. And not that many people in this fandom appreciate her. And I know not that many people in the fandom will read this (you guys hate long posts despite being in a visual novel fandom... what is this don't you guys love reading???), but I still wanted to share it. To share MY personal story and how Angie is important to me, and just one of the many reasons why this game is so important to me too.

I love Angie Beneviento.

#resident lover #angie beneviento #happy birthday angie beneviento #asexual

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year

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reading update: april

let's go babyyyyyyy!!!!! WHAT have I been reading?

Cursed Bunny (Bora Chung, trans. Anton Hur 2022)

I added this short story collection to my TBR because I saw a reviewer call the first story the grossest thing they had ever read in their life, and you know what? that really was the grossest thing I've ever read in my life. I shan't even describe it because I'm eating and I don't want to ruin my lunch. but Chung writes a fascinating collection of sinister stories that dance across genre and offer up something strange to look at each time; do not let the awful poop baby scare you away.

White Noise (Don DeLillo, 1985)

I had no plans to read this book and in fact did not even know about it until a colleague told me about reading it for a class and then generously lent me her copy. it's an extremely clever book and also a maddening on that I wouldn't recommend to anybody; the ways in which DeLillo builds his commentary on class and consumerism and The Unbearable Shallowness Of It All is so deft and also made me feel like I personally was going insane. just pages and pages of brilliantly constructed drivel that means nothing and says so much. I think if the average booktokker had to explain this book they would explode and I should probably be on a watchlist for enjoying it.

Lunar Love (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2023)

this is hands down my favorite of romance novels I've read so far this year, because the protagonist, Olivia, it batshit fucking crazy. she's not supposed to be, we're probably supposed to just find her a little uptight and lovably neurotic, but she's absolutely unwell and reminded me of nothing so much as an early season Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I spent the entire book waiting for her to attack someone or commit arson, because if you interpret the Chinese zodiac even a little wrong this woman goes fucking apeshit. tl;dr Olivia works for a matchmaking company based on the Chinese zodiac and truly, sincerely believes that real love cannot exist between people whose animal signs are incompatible; every time this worldview is challenged she has a fresh breakdown about it. the romance is whatever, the dialogue is nothing, and there isn't even any sex, but when I have to rank all twelve romance novels I read this year I strongly suspect Luna Love will be #1 because I support women's wrongs.

Shubiek Lubiek (Deena Mohamed, 2023)

a GORGEOUS (and massive) graphic novel about a world very similar to ours, with one little difference: magic wishes are real, and there's a tightly controlled industry surrounding who gets to use them and what they can wish for. Mohamed beings with an Egyptian shopkeeper, Shokry, currently trying to be rid of three very powerful wishes; what follows are three interconnecting stories of the people who buy Shokry's wishes and how their wishes complicate their lives. Mohamed beautifully balances magic and social commentary, examining every level of how wishes impact society. we see everything from a poor woman imprisoned in an effort to pressure her to sign over a wish to the government to an affluent but deeply depressed teen living in a gated community filled with pet dinosaurs, ending with a story about Shokry himself grappling with how to use the final wish to help a friend. reader, it did make me sob.

My Solo Exchange Diary Vol. 2 (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2016)

there's not much I can say here that will be meaningfully different from what I said about Vol. 1 back in February. Nagata's memoir manga has just gotten to be such a little ray of sunshine for me; seeing her ongoing growth and struggles, the very relatable nonlinear progress, is affirming and devastating in equal measure. this volume in particular becomes much harsher with the benefit of hindsight - seeing her briefly hospitalized and struggling with drinking much more painful reading the book and knowing that her next release will be entirely centered around alcoholism and a much more serious hospital visit. for the love of god I just want this woman to be okay.

Mind of My Mind (Octavia E. Butler, 1977)

I would just like to say that I'm SO glad I decided to read the Patternist books in order of story chronology instead of release date, because if I had read this without spending all of Wild Seed getting to know what Doro's whole deal is I would have been lost at sea. as is, I will be upfront and say Mind of My Mind hasn't been my favorite of Butler's books - it feels like more of a supplemental text than anything, a bit of bonus content to explain the wider world of the Patternists that I know is coming, without the outstanding grace of Wild Seed. but I DO love some unhinged cult behavior, and goddamn does Butler deliver on that front. these telepaths are completely willing to go full cult after, like, two weeks of cohabiting against their will, and frankly I love that level of dysfunction for them.

Priory of the Orange Tree (Samantha Shannon, 2019) - after years of avoiding this fucking behemoth of a book I finally read it, and I'm delighted to report that it's... pretty good? it's fine. it's still unforgivably long and the prose frequently feels a little artless, but if you like a dense-ass fantasy book filled with people who have silly names debating the politics of dragons and magic gemstones in made-up places then you will have a blast. personally I love that shit, so I can wholeheartedly endorse.

Her Body and Other Parties (Carmen Maria Machado, 2017)

I've been rereading Machado's short story collection at a snail's pace, and having finally finished I'm delighted to say: this shit still fucks! I feel like I almost understood "The Resident" this time; definitely more than I ever have before. I'll get it some of these days!

My Alcoholic Escape From Reality (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2019)

oh look, it's the much sadder memoir manga that I said was coming! I gave up all pretense of trying to pace myself this month and grabbed the next volume of Nagata's story from the library pretty much immediately; oddly, the first and fourth seem to be the only ones they have. seeing Nagata's slide back into alcoholism was rough, of course, but I was extremely impressed by the way she managed to so thoroughly translate the pain and tedium of her long hospital stay and pancreatitis diagnosis onto the page. her illustrations of food as she adjusted to her new diet were especially delightful; I felt like I could really feel the joy of discovering new treats that were safe to eat right alongside her. much is made in this book about Nagata's desire to branch out into fiction manga alongside her memoirs, and I'm curious to learn where that part of her career has gone.

#reading updates

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luminouslumity · 4 years

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THOUGHTS ON THE LUNAR CHRONICLES

So, I'm re-reading The Lunar Chronicles, and my feelings on it remain the same: great plot, great characters, but there are still issues that need to be addressed. For starters, the countries. Why the monoliths? I get it's meant to be the future, but still...

Then there's Cresswell. Don't get me wrong, I love both Cress and Thorne and their dynamic, but the idea of them as a couple just makes me uncomfortable. Cress is sixteen throughout the series while Thorne is twenty; granted, Scarlet and Wolf have a gap as well and it's in fact a little bigger, but at least Scarlet was an adult by the time they met and eventually got married. I don't think there was really any reason for Cress to be the same age as Cinder anyway. Not only that, but Cress and Thorne also had completely different life experiences before meeting. Or if the gap is still kept, I actually would've loved it if Cress ended up viewing him as an older brother instead, and vice versa with him viewing her as a little sister.

Side note here, there's a really great post by @sskinner155 that points out that the plague may have played a part as to why being in a relationship so young seems to have become the norm, and I think it makes sense (ex: Adri wanting Pearl to find a husband when she's only seventeen, or no one being disturbed that Levana wants to marry someone who's significantly younger than her; I think the closest thing we get to any critique regarding the age and romantic relationships thing is from the seamstress at the beginning of Cinder). Mind you, this doesn't make things less uncomfortable, but it would at least explain some things if it's true. This does however make me wish the series had delved more into just how letumosis had affected everyday life in general.

And while we're still on the topic of relationships, and this is a problem I had even back then, why is everyone paired off? Seriously, even Iko gets into a relationship (not that she doesn't deserve it, but I think my point has been made and I think she deserves better than Kinney anyway). Would it really have been too much to ask for a main pairing to just be friends (again, looking at Cresswell here)?

Then there's also the poor LGBT+ rep. I know there was Constable Dubrovsky in Fairest and MM confirmed that Torin was gay, but one is a really minor character and the other's sexuality is never even mentioned. Even the casual mention of Torin having a husband or something would've been nice.

And this is something I thought recently, but part of me wouldn't have minded if Thorne hadn't gotten his eyesight back. Of course it's great that he can see again and it's also keeping with the fairytale, but you rarely see blind protagonists in media, much less literature, so I think it would've been interesting if he had at least been left partially blind. This is just me, though.

I also wish we'd gotten more interactions between Cinder and Winter. Obviously Cinder doesn't remember her, but a few more scenes would've been nice.

Also, not that I didn't enjoy the confrontation between Cinder and Levana, but when I first read Cress, I thought Levana was going to die of letumosis herself by the end of Winter after it was revealed that the disease had mutated and I still kinda wish this had been the case. Again, just me. The confrontation is still one of my favorite scenes in the entire series, though.

Now onto the good stuff! Like I said, great plot and characters, which is saying alot coming from me because I'm generally not that big of a sci-fi fan. I love the relationships, but I adored Cinder and Thorne's friendship the most.

Levana was also a great villain, and her book is still one of my favorites in general. The thing I loved about it the most is how well it's able to make Levana look sympathetic without excusing her actions. And I love redemption arcs as much as the next person, but also speaking as someone who's tired of villains getting unearned ones just because of a sad backstory or even just making out said villain to be too sympathetic while everyone else is a jerk, I'm really glad neither was the case with her. Same goes for the other antagonists in the series, actually.

Another thing I love about this series is how it subverts tropes. In any other series, there might've been a complicated romance between Kai, Cinder, and Thorne (there's even a brief scene where Kai gets jealous of Thorne after Cinder escapes with him), but this never once comes to pass. Wolf also doesn't fall under the bad boy stereotype (this excellent post by @scarlet-benoit-is-my-rolemodel explains why), and Channary most certainly wasn't a tragic queen that Cinder should miss, just to name a few. I like how she genuinely seemed to care for Selene, but that's really the only good thing about her.

As for the books themselves, I've already said that Fairest is my favorite in general, Winter is my favorite out of the main four, Something Old, Something New is my favorite of the short stories, and I like the graphic novels just fine for the most part.

Overall, despite its flaws, this still remains my favorite book series ever.

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