#i've been doing good! how about yourself

[liquidstar]

Oh fuck tomorrow I'm going to be a little birthday boy I keep almost forgetting

#it's probably bc i dont have specific plans im just playing it by ear based on how the newborn will be #(the amount of time I'll be needed w the other kids basically depends on how much sleep the parents got the night before lol) #so i dont wanna be out too late... ahh i miss the club bro i wanna go #i love kids just to be clear which is why i do this but i also think I've gotten any child rearing out of my system #so i dont want my own. in a way it's freeing bc my future will just be for me and i won't have to worry about this stuff long term lol #ah but if I'm free on the 4th theres also something else i wanna do so maybe i shouldn't get drunk anyway #maybe just wait for the next free day 🤷‍♂️ we'll see #I've been highover BAD though shit lasted until like 8pm the next day. and i had to take the day off w the kids #luckily there happened to be other family there that took over but dude it sucked. i remember trying to help them in the morning like #ok sorry 4 year old trying to find pants i have to lay down in your bed you can do it by yourself i believe in you #so. taking the day off was a good call for their sakes too lol #he was fine just to be clear he could've done it on his own either way. i was just unhelpful 😅 i promise im usually way more attentive

[movietonight]

While there are things to criticise mash for and those conversations are important to have some of what I read can be explained very easily by reminding yourself

It was a TV show

On a budget

From years ago

From America

Written by a variety of human writers

Who used characters and plots to tell stories

Within a certain number of minutes

#mash #m*a*s*h #this isn't about anything specific #and there is also worth in taking and analysing mash as a whole #but sometimes you have to step back and remind yourself its a tv show #not in the 'its not real' way but in the 'it works like a tv show' way #I think the only specific thing I could use as an example rn is the criticisms I've seen of them not changing locations more often #and yeah the m is for mobile but do you know how insanely expensive it would be to film more bug out scenes? #and how insanely boring they would be to watch all the time #And when it comes to the tonal shift and its effect on the message that is a very good conversation to have with important criticisms #but I also saw some criticisms mostly in articles and books you know that boiled down #to why isn't this later episode exactly like an earlier episode :/ and I was like uhm because they already wrote that episode? #long story short: NUANCE #note: this post has been in my drafts for a while and I just wanted to free it

[last-flight-of-fancy]

“Kingdom Hearts being an epic slow burn gay romance would be incredibly impactful to people both personally and as a landmark in queer representation by extremely popular and established characters. It has decades of legitimate buildup and has the potential to be both incredibly validating to queer fans everywhere and even possibly sway the minds of those who love the characters but may not have much contact or knowledge of queerness.”

and

“The Kingdom Hearts series is honestly kind of unique in its unabashed emotional sincerity. How it treats friendships and non-romantic bonds as being both extremely important and powerful, never giving the impression that friendship is lesser to romance, is depressingly still somewhat of a rarity in media. This is very important and validating to many, particularly aromantics but also most everyone who is just Tired of how friendships and romance are often presented in tiers of importance.”

are concepts that can and should co-exist.

#like i get it. there really is nothing quite like kh when it comes to how it treats the bonds between characters #and the latter is just as legitimate! #but i do think that the people who argue (in good faith) that kh shouldnt make anyone canon- #-are kind of missing the forest for the trees #(i specify in good faith bc we all know the bad faith ones are just co-opting the argument to hide their homophobia) #(and oh boy are *most* of them in bad faith. but i wanna take a sec to talk about this bc there are good faith ones out there) #and what i mean by that is that... well first of all making one ship canon doesn't invalidate all the other examples of stunning displays of #-the power of friendship #second of all i would like you to consider the framing of this #if no ship becomes canon and it's purely platonic for all the OC's... how is it different from any other kids show with no couples? #in terms of representing friendship as not being less than romance? #it's still not bad don't get me wrong. what i'm saying is that media DOES exist #there are shows and books and games out there where there are no couples to speak of #maybe not terribly common but they're out there #but a slow burn epic gay romance where platonic connections are legitimately just as important and powerful? i sure af havent seen it #sora being in love with riku and still willing to sacrifice himself (TWICE) to save kairi... is that not exactly what you want? #to show that the platonic connection is not lesser? that its just as important? #i dunno i've been turning this over in my brain all afternoon thinking about it #stop talking to yourself flight

[crescentfool]

beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙

#lizzy speaks #the human brain works in such profound ways i think #lately i've been thinking about that post that was like 'you will always be your oldest friend take care of yourself' #it's definitely a sentiment i agree with and i appreciate how it emphasizes the importance of extending compassion to yourself #you wouldn't say such hurtful things to your friends right? (or at least i'd hope so) #so why would you say it to yourself? #you are your own friend too. and i think everyone has a beautiful soul within themselves. nurture it! water it! feed it good thoughts. #basically i wish everyone a 'i hope that your brain is not your own enemy but rather a friend that you can find comfort in' #things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!! #and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental #i truly think that with time you will be able to rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself. i'm proud of you for taking any first steps :) #there are times in which it feels counterintuitive to go against habits that feel hard-wired... but brains are very malleable littel guys- #with such a wonderful capacity for changing and learning new things. so i hope everyone can learn to be their own best friend! #not to undermine the importance of a support network ofc. that's good too and im all for that!! but i hope everyone remembers to be kind- #not only to others but also to themselves!! you're going to do great out there!! i love you all!! #ive just been thinking about this a lot... i needed to get it out there. you all shine so brightly!!! we shall be fine!!! have a good week! #sorry if this is out of nowhere but if there's anything about me you should know it's that i'm the 'hey dont cry 8 billion people on earth- #ok?' post. idk i just find great joy in knowing others are out there thriving and finding a daily delight yknow i love humanity!!

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

in 2024 I wanna stop hearing about betterhelp

#elise's posts #SO many youtubers etc I like are promoting this shit #fyi for those who don't know it's a REALLY unethical business trying to take advantage of the mentally ill #and before you say 'but how else am I meant to find a therapist that does online sessions' #post-pandemic most therapists offer this #and if you want the whole 'I can text my therapist for therapy anytime 24/7' thing... #sorry I know it might sound useful but it's SUPER bad for both your own mental health and your therapist's #sorry but therapists are not meant to be there for you 24/7 #that's not their job and it's really unhelpful for YOU to become dependant on a 24/7 therapist #betterhelp do not vet their therapists thoroughly #and some people say they have been evangelised to on betterhelp by preachers who ask the algorithm to assign them queer and atheist clients #many reputable therapists state that it's a terrible business model promoting unhealthy practices to patients #it claims to be the cheapest option but it's more expensive than the most expensive therapist I've ever had (I'm in the UK) #and significantly more expensive than the cheapest who was still good and probably more qualified than some people on betterhelp #you pay extra for the middleman #(being allocated a therapist you didn't choose and vet yourself isn't great anyway imo surely you want agency in this huge decision?) #and I'm sorry but pride counselling is a branch of the same company #please just look for therapists that specialise in your needs through a regulatory model and get in touch with them directly #not all of them have waitlists and tbh if every therapist on betterhelp is available whenever what does that say about them

[punkpinkpower]

Alright hear me out. An autistic restaurant. The lights are dim. The chairs are customizable so you can sit however suits you. The plates all have divider sections. You can order from a giant selection of safe foods that are all prepared separately. You can mix and match as you choose but by default none of the things you order are touching. You put your order in via text message to the server. When they drop everything off they wait a reasonable amount of time before checking if things are okay so you can process whether or not they are. Every table comes with "reorder" coupons so you don't feel guilty about asking them to fix mistakes. One side of the restaurant is for quiet and the other is for people who want to talk. There is sound proofing. You order an appetizer of fidget toys before you order your food.

#wow I've got some trauma with food huh #I have felt my tism is every inch of my body every time i ate today #autism #autistic #the good timeline #food sensitivity #the tism #protip telling people you have autism goes over a lot smoother when you call it the tism #told two people today and they were so caught off guard they laughed and were like wow thats so neat #instead of the usual responses like how do you know or you don't seem autistic or don't say that about yourself #10/10 cannot recommend it any higher its been delightful #good job community we made our disibility sound fun and cool #finally #life

[spiriteddreams]

how are you. an adult. 20+ years old and still acting like this.

CLEAN UP YOUR GODDAMN MESS I'M YOUR ROOMMATE NOT YOUR MAID

rambles in the tags bc i'm so upset i could cry in the living room rn i came home to eat lunch and i can't even do that

#i just need to get this out bc you know what this applies to everyone especially if you're going into college or are in college or whatever #clean up after yourself. don't leave shared spaces a mess bc it's annoying and unfair #come on i can't do this anymore #like i don't pay the same amount of rent as you to clean your dishes and then put them away then clean up after you like. #there is no good reason that i should have to walk into our shared bathroom and immediately walk back out #it's excuses after excuses for the past like 2 years how do you NOT feel guilty that i've been cleaning up after you all this time #and we just only started the second week of the quarter and i'm about to lose it #like my god. PLEASE CLEAN UP #sorry i'm just so so upset i haven't known peace in fucking forever i'm sorry #spirit rambles

[doppelnatur]

i think maybe we should start talking about victims and survivors as an oppressed group even outside of the context of other marginalizations. I'm thinking especially about victims of domestic violence, bullying and sexual abuse but also refugees and victims of natural disasters and other forms of ongoing stress/trauma, I just have less perspective on that and would welcome other perspectives here.

And yes, being part of a marginalized group, a) is in and of itself an ongoing stress, b) makes it more likely for you to become a victim of both interpersonal power imbalances as well as the effects of the global power imbalances as expressed as war and climate catastrophies, etc and c) makes it harder to receive help. I just think seeing those as intersections might be helpful? Conversations about domestic violence and sexual abuse are very commonly framed as conversations about gender and while I do think gender is an important factor in both, it is unhelpful to deny the doubt, downplaying and scrutiny all survivors regardless of gender face.

I think it would be helpful when building support networks to keep in mind the social bias against victims, whether those support networks help people escape a war zone or an abusive home. My impression is that a lot of the same social mechanisms that apply to marginalized groups, also apply to victims and survivors. It's the downplaying of the impact of the violence/disaster, the dehumanization, the speaking about you and not with you, the being robbed of your agency, there being "good" and "bad" victims, the contradictory and impossible standards you are held to, the way you're expected to bare yourself to display yourself and your wounds and be available for questioning...

I don't know maybe this is a useless concept or already really common framing but like I'd like to have a conversation about it?

#I really do think that not acknowledging the specific oppression of victimhood in and of itself does harm to survivors and our rights #But I don't know how else to phrase it than this? Does this make any sense? Should I explain something differently? #The baring and displaying yourself part is from a speech from a local black activist and didn't just mean it metaphorical #He also spoke about being literally made to undress being literally displayed. Like the metaphorical part is important but yeah #I've not been able to get this kind of framing of oppression out of my head it's literally so good and applicable to so many situations #Ohh also I guess refugees are often acknowledged as an oppressed group I just meant more like. #Seeing both the often racialized oppression and the intersection with the specific oppression that victims face and all refugees are victim #Regardless of which specific like events/laws/economics/stress/traumas they're fleeing from #and regardless of whether they're racialized. Though again. Ofc the specific intersections you sit at do matter and all that

[the13throseii]

Man I can't. I'll watch a movie and be like "that was pretty enjoyable!" And then like 90% of people online are like "THIS MOVIE KILLED MY PARENTS IN FRONT OF ME"

#whyyyy is the kfp fandom so melodramatic about 4. y'all need to calm down #i'm not saying it was great but holy fuck some of you are overreacting #'it ruined my nostalgia!' okay sounds like a skill issue to me. you really just let petty things ruin your fond memories like that? #have you all just. never been disappointed by canon before? like you have no immunity to it? man. get well soon i guess #seriously though never ever convince yourself that a franchise can do no wrong. #no matter how good the previous stuff is it is literally impossible for a series to *never* disappoint you at all #you can not put media on a pedestal. that's how you get people acting like a poor writing decision personally #burned their crops poisoned their water supply and delivered a plague upon their houses #granted i'm biased because in all my life I think I've only ever left like. 5 movies total feeling genuinely angry #i admittedly have very low standards when it comes to 'hate'. but i still think internet critics are being over dramatic most of the time

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like.... #wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners #honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going “I will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that #like. it feels a little like the “I'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshit” except it's #it's “I didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymore” #like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it. #that fuckin... “what do we have to fear but fear itself” quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me? #if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame. #we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you. #I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid. #though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it. #I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me. #and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough #allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard. #especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them #it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her. #I could say “I'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?” and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer #like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers. #being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo #do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm #like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over. #I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well. #so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state. #anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty #instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions. #I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them #though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that. #like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it #and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.

[oftheblue]

When you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨!

🌷🌟🌸

Hi, lovely!! Thanks for sending me this~ 💖 (even tho I need some time to really think about it heh)

Okay so, 5 things I like about myself:

My imagination (I like how I can make even mundane things feel more fun for me)

My curiosity (I know there's that saying "curiosity killed the cat" but in this case I feel it always enriched my life and still continues to do so)

My intuition about people

The care that I have for others (if there's something that I feel I can honestly be proud of, it's this)

My hands (idk, i find them pretty :))

#to be honest this kind of served as some time for reflection in a way #it was a reminder of how difficult it was to name five good things and how easy it actually was thinking about things i don't like #but that's because we don't usually look at our stronger points #we're always more focused on those bad qualities of ours #and a lot of the time that's not even something that's done consciously #it's just the way it is i guess #because it's something we're more used to #so much that even saying all that i do like felt like sounding a bit arrogant at first because it was all 'me myself and i' #but that's just something i need to work on because there's no need to feel like that #i think it's easy saying “be kind to yourself” #but now taking this as an example i feel it's also not that hard to actually follow through with that saying #something just needs to click #like it did to me now #i've been chasing after this feeling again and now that it's here i'll try my best to make it stick for as long as possible #so thank you for this one more time <3

[transfemstarscream]

SOSOSOOSOOOO PROUD OF U 4 GRADUATING LUKAS !!!!!!!!! school sucks ass n tye fact u made it through FOUR WHOLE ASS YEARS IS AMAZING !!!!!!!!! [also haiii teehee ^^ its sans :3 hows it goin ?]

#SANS oh my god. hello hello hello...!!! #i've been doing good! how about yourself? ^__^)/

[pandaspwnz]

can I just say as a formerly morbidly obese person who is now in the lower end of the overweight bmi category that hip dips being an insecurity all of a sudden is fucking ridiculous. I've spent most of my life having more goddamn rolls than the Michelin man and it seemed that as soon as I lost some weight, this magical new insecurity just popped up overnight. I didn't even know non-fat people could have that insecurity and all of a sudden I see it literally fucking everywhere and it infuriates me. If I'm ever slim enough to even be able to tell if I have hip dips or not, I'm gonna be celebrating, not hating myself for it??

#like literally it looks just as good as having no hip dips my dudes WHAT is the problem? #It's your skeleton. It's your literal skeleton determining if you have them or not #Why do we suddenly hate hip dips?? YOU ALL LOOK. FINE. #Anyway I guess I'm just really fucking angry that I've spent my whole life hating my body for how the fat on it looks and now it's like I #gotta also hate my literal bones? Like can anybody ever fucking win? #I refuse. If I have hip dips they're gonna be fucking fine okay I don't-- just. Stop buying into what other people say is ugly okay #Let's not give more reasons for people to hate themselves #And yes ofc I'm sure being insecure about them has been around for ages but suddenly now everyone is talking about them #And it's like that scene in mean girls where Cady didn't even realize there were so many things you could hate about your body #Yknow? Like in one way it's great to commiserate with others who feel the same and in other ways it just points it out to others #Is there a win situation here? Probably not? #But I've been pissed about this since I heard about it last year and it's just becoming more and more prominent #So yeah my point i guess is fuck beauty standards love yourself and also -yells at cloud- #My post #Personal #Ok to reblog #Hip dips

[goatsandgangsters]

I had my four month top surgery milestone last week! 

which is wild because it actually feels way longer! I’ve just been living my best flat life and feeling settled in a way I’ve never felt before, so it genuinely seems like it’s been way longer than only four months

but ALSO it’s wild because they originally offered me either march or july for my surgery date, so it’s bizarre to think that I’ve been... doing all this stuff and enjoying summer and enjoying being in my body because of top surgery. but in a parallel world I could be like “hey guys just got my drains out.” weird! extremely happy I took the march date! 

anyway! genuinely can’t wrap my mind around it being only four months. because this just feels... like it’s my body. and it’s hard to believe there was ever a time when it wasn’t my body, or that that time was actually recent

#four months also stands out as a milestone just cause that's when I have my next follow-up visit #I did not say anything Day Of because it was 97 degrees and I was too hot to brain #it would have been SO awful trying to recover from surgery in this heat. so glad I picked march for so many reasons #but yeah! wow! #it is not possible to describe how much top surgery changed my experience of myself for the better #like not just my body but my mentality about myself and towards life and how I feel about myself and how I feel IN my body #I've discovered this wild thing that I didn't know about before which is called 'doing things for yourself because they feel good' and wow! #100000000/10 would recommend #top surgery

[absentlyabbie]

*stares vaguely into the middle distance and tries to remember where i left my brain cells*

#aha... ha #i swear i used to be... good with words #and using them to say the things i wanted to get at #seems like the tireder i get the worse i get #and i'm only ever going to get more tired than this #disability like this wears down at your memory like the ocean on a stone til things are alarmingly smooth and featureless #and it's going to get that bad with everything isn't it eventually #like my love of and grasp on words and language #i... didn't think in those tags i was saying redemption was about pain?? #not whining about that specifically so much as broadly how i thought i was saying one thing and... #apparently it came out very something else? #i don't think redemption is about pain either #i think it's about work #and i don't find the work bad #it's uncomfortable and sure definitely gonna be sometimes painful #but it's good and necessary work #rebuilding yourself into a you you can stand to look at is grueling but ultimately worth it just for your own sake #and is that the traumatic childhood christianity shaping the way oi'm trying to say things? #meant to through the lens of 'i have had to do this personally and i've been on the opposite side also' #the worse i get at saying what i mean in a way others can understand #and the more infrequently i have the mental and emotional energy for writing #the more i feel like i'm really starting to lose myself #damn i need to go to bed

[hobbitunderthemountain]

work has got me going joker mode

#work adventures #theyre doubling down on how we take time off #one of the selling points of the company when i first started was how lenient they were w vacation/days off #esp when you've burnt yourself out and you need a break #so i've been using that when it gets bad at work so i don't have to cut into my pto too much even tho i have a good bit left #and now they're slapping all of our hands and saying we have to go back and submit the hours of overtime we worked in order to earn that #and my department hasn't had a literal manager in years so who tf are we gonna go to about that? #and like thats fine now that we do #just say going forward do this #instead of making us think back 4 months to figure out if we worked enough time to take the 'burnout time off' #all of this on the back of me killing myself and losing my mental health bc of this job #its insane #and i no longer care #its my dream job but at what cost #im still here bc the work is relatively cool and i don't want to fucking job hunt again so #i'll stay here until i die but they're not making me want to promote working here