#if I was Iba then I could ask my STAFF to help

[theanatomyoftuesday]

FIRST JOB APPLICATION

As of today, 2 job posting na ang inapplyan ko since I woke up carrying the pressure na ayoko na hawakan ang business namin at mag start na mag trabaho on my own.

The company is a recruitment and manpower agency. May job opening sila na nakita ko sa PESO Facebook Page. I sent them the email including my resume. It was around 12 in the afternoon ako nag send ng email. I wasn't expecting they will immediately call for a short interview. At around 2 pm, their HR called me via phone. Funny part - nagpapaligo ako kay Bruno at that time. Nasa kalagitnaan ako nang pagsasabon sa kanya. Sinagot ko naman agad yung call. From there, nag ask na yung HR for basic infos and my OJT experience. Medyo aligaga ako kasi malamig ang panahon ngayon at naiwan si Bruno doon sa cr nang basa. Ginising ko yung mother ko na natutulog at that time para siya na mag asikaso kay Bruno. After the phone interview, I felt nothing. No regrets, no nervousness. Hindi ako kabado o yung feeling na I could have done better. Wala pa akong pressure na naramdaman. Around 5pm nag email na si HR sa akin for my final assessment and interview. Hindi ako kabado or excited. Ewan ko, I just felt na "okay interview, sige punta ako" ganon. Kasi at that time magkikita rin kami ng tropa ko kaya siguro wala din yung focus ko sa interview.

1st - HR Recruiter / Marketing Staff

The day itself. January 10, 10AM. Medyo kabado na ako kasi 9:30 am na nasa printing shop pa ako kasi wala ako extra print ng resume. Siguro around 9:45 ako nakarating sa place. 2 jeep kasi ang need sakyan. Nag play pa ako ng hillsong, deep breathe sa labas, at nag pray before enting. Hindi agad ako na interview dahil may meeting yung marketing officer. So medyo kinakausap muna ako ni HR. Ang soft nya magsalita tapos ang hinhin. Ibang iba sa way ko nang pananalita. Help huhu. Ayun na nga around 11am ako na interview.

Results? How was it? Dito na nag simula yung self doubt ko. Simpleng SWOT Analysis lang hindi ko pa nasagot. Wherein fact, alumna ko pa yung nag interview sakin. Yung instruction nila sa akin - they would set a date kung saan may last and final interview pa ako sa Makati for the position ng marketing offficer. Yung explanation naman sa akin ng HR, tanggap na daw ako sa HR doon sa company pero need ko pa ma-interview muna sa Makati. Pero kung hindi raw palarin ay pasok pa rin ako as HR recruiter dito sa Santa Rosa. Medyo hindi na yung nag sink in sa utak ko kasi sobra ko nang sinisisi yung sarili ko na napaka bobo ko samantalang marketing graduate ako.

Bumili muna ako nang tubig sa 7-11. Tapat lang kasi ng company ito. Alam mo pa mas nakaka down? I saw someone I knew na graduate ng Industrial Engineering na siguro papasok na sya sa trabaho nya. Nag pakalma muna ako sa 7-11 tapos ayun I run some errands na for our small business before going home.

I waited until Monday, January 16. Wala akong update na nakuha from them. Kaya nag message na ako sa 2nd job na inapplyan ko para sa initial interview.

Kasabay nang mag apply ako sa 1st job posting, nag submit din ako ng resume dito via LinkedIn. Na-review naman nila ang application ko the same day pero Thursday January 12 ako naka receive ng message from them. Hindi ko pa yun agad nireplayan kasi I was really hoping and expecting na tanggap na ako sa una kong inapplyan. Ayun, kahapon ko lang naisipan mag reply kasi the pressure is really eating me straight to the stomach. From Monday, sobrang down ko na kasi nakita ko yung recent job posting ng PESO which is ayun yung 1st job na inapplyan ko. I see it as - maybe I wasn't good enough for the position that's why they are looking for more applicants. Kaya it pushes me to respond to this position. This morning, agad akong nareplyan ni HR and nag set agad ng virtual interview via Google Meet.

2nd - Purchasing Officer

Backstory lang. Yesterday night, I was watching a lot of job interview tips sa youtube. Nag compose pa ako ng script ko in answering typical interview questions. But then, I woke up around 7am feeling empty and feeling like a big burden and disappointment. Kasi yung ate ko nag bibihis na for work samantalang ako eto nakahiga pa rin sa kama at the age of 24. Sobrang numb talaga ng pakiramdam ko kaninang umaga. Para bang hindi ako nakatulog kasi nagising ulit ako nang malungkot at parang pagod na pagod na sa buhay. Around 8am nag message si HR ng 2nd job. Ayun na nga nag set sya ng meeting at 1:30pm. Dali-dali na ako kumilos kasi need ko pa mag linis ng bahay. Bandang 10am ako natapos. Kaso biglang tumawag yung pamangkin ko saying na walang bantay si Lola. Hindi raw pumasok yung taga bantay. Medyo nainis ako sa sitwasyon. Ay oo nga pala add ko lang, habang nakain ako ng almusal biglang may nag order ng plants suki na namin. Tapos habang nag lilinis ako ng house may 2 nag walk in customers. Tangina. Naguluhan na talaga ako. I kept on asking God ano ba plan nya sa akin, ano ba dapat kong gawin, should I continue our business or aim for corporate job.

Sobrang gulo nang isip ko umaga pa lang. Nagsasabay-sabay na naman yung mga pangyayari. Para bang sinasabi sa akin na I need to choose, I need to sacrifice. Naalala ko yung post na nabasa ko kagabi na "if you want something to achieve you need to sacrifice something". Ayun na realize ko na I need to sacrifice handling our business to jump in corporate world. Kaso I was left with choices kanina. Hindi ko naman pwedeng hayaan na lang kay nanay yung naorder kasi need pa yun i-ship. Buti na lang at pumayag si customer na sa hapon na i-ship ang order nya. 10 am na siguro ako nakapag simula mag prepare for interview. From 10am to 1pm nag memorize at nagbabasa lang ako ng script ko.

Ito na. 1:30pm na. Nag send na si HR ng google meet link. Nag simula na niya ako tanungin. You know what I love most dito sa 2nd interview ko? Sobrang calm and she's speaking taglish. Hinayaan n'ya ko to speak kung saan daw ako comfortable. Ayun nag taglish na lang din ako. Natapos kami around 2:40 pm. Kaso alam mo.. kahit I feel satisfied with my answers sa response ni HR ako nalungkot. I don't really feel na qualified at may chance ako. Wala siyang sinabing exact time or time frame when I should wait. Sinabi lang nya na she will inform the Accounting department about my application. I emailed my thank yous. But no response from the HR.

Sobrang iyak na iyak na ko. But then I remember may need pa ako i-ship. Buti na lang at natapos agad. Umalis muna si nanay para bumili ng paso. Ako lang ang naiwan sa bahay. Ano pa nga ba ang gagawin ko? I cried my eyes out. Sobrang familiar ng feeling. Ito yung naramdaman ko before graduation kung saan iyak ako nang iyak dahil sa halo-halong emosyon na kahit ako ay hindi ko maipaliwanag.

Ang OA ko lang siguro. Emosyonal lang siguro ako. Kaso pati sarili ko gina-gaslight ko. Pakiramdam ko I wasn't really enough - ito lang siguro talaga ang kaya ko. Hanggang dito lang talaga ang best na kaya ko.

Iniyak ko na lang nang iniyak hanggang sa ako na mismo ang mapagod.

[blackcatanna]

The Tale of the Demon Arms of Horniness Part 4(?)

Finally, we have arrived at Edo Blossoms! Things should be getting real weird(er) soon so I'm looking forward to that... Honestly, I don't like Iba's route, really... I prefer him when he shows up in other people's routes being a li'l shit... Anyway, we'll see how this goes.

"A selfish, ruthless ex-Captain of the Shinsengumi, Kanryusai Takeda," ENTER BASTARD! :')

"Iba, as a descendant of a famous sword dojo, had a reputation to uphold." Fair enough, makes sense. "Thus," uh-huh... "He became a Fury and fused a Demon's arm to his shoulder" o_e -_- I'm sure... Uh... Actually, no. This logic makes no sense at all, especially when you consider that he is forbidden to engage in human conflict in exchange for his demon powers. Historical Iba didn't let losing an arm stop him (not that I would blame him if it had)!

ANYWAY, Chapter 1: A Horny Spectre Looks: in which maybe Iba and Takeda start to get intrusive horny thoughts about our heroine, maybe not, I don't remember how soon that shit kicks off...

"Huh? Why are you thanking me?" It's a fair question (sorry, Chizuru) "If it were just me handling the house affairs, I'd no doubt lose my mind" Awe! Get you, Chizuru, being useful! We stan! And good for Shimada acknowledging her domestic work... Now I am concerned about how much thankless work she may have done back in Kyoto... What does a page even do? Also, was she paid??? I hope so but I doubt it X_X

"I can't look at you without beaming with pride," new dad alert!

"Neither Nagakura nor Harada could emerge from their funk after suffering serious, devastating trauma from the battle," o_e is "funk" a poorly judged euphemism for ptsd???

"Iba, whom I hadn't seen" *flips table* then why the fuck am I here??

Who the fuck ever even uses this medicine? Players of this game, I mean!

"Iba exalted over the steaming tea cup," XD Bless him...

"has that cretin, Takeda," XD FFS IBA! Poor Takeda :')

Iba clearly knows something bad... WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME ANYTHING???? REVEAL YOUR SECRETS, SLUT!!! (Omfg, I am turning into Miki X_X)

"Spending time with you is such a luxury," BLEURGGH "That it would be a waste to let my mind wander so easily," >:( JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON! STOP TRYING TO DEFLECT WITH PRETTY WORDS >:(

"I wondered what thoughts plagued Iba's mind..." But I guess we can't just ASK because that would be RUDE and UNLADYLIKE -_-

"A feeling of guilt bubbled in my stomach." Repeat this phrase every few lines until the game ends...

COOL, we're going to Yukimura's home! Thankfully, we already know that Kodo's a creep so he won't ambush us! Hopefully, I am correct in recalling that weird horniness ensues...

"..." "Iba...?" Clearly, there is something wrong with this boi! Maybe look into that?? Omg, is it the horniness?!? I BET IT'S THAT! HERE IT COMES, FINALLY (seriously, who thought that this was a good narrative device??? -_- )

"something told me what Iba was concerned with was far more serious..." It's his boner, Chizuru... I guess that a haunted arm, brain and penis is pretty concerning...

"He furrowed his brow in quiet contemplation." XD If I wrong, I am going to look very stupid but if I'm right, this is hilarious!

"I darted my eyes around the yard, hoping to pin down what might've distracted him," XD Tbf, it must be very distracting having the ghost of some guy who's arm you've nicked constantly whispering horny thoughts at you (or however demon-induced-horniness works...) "but I was too nervous to ask him myself." ... Ngl, for once, this is probably for the best (assuming that I am right. I have played this route once before, of course. I feel like no sane person could predict this shit blindly)

"I felt compelled to comfort him." Well, Chizuru, I can think of an easy way for you to do that...

Ooh! I rlly like this musique! :)

"The melancholy in his eyes felt thicker than the dust around us. It was like I was speaking with a shadow." Chizuru should take up work as a goth poet.

"Did something happen, Iba...?" Ya, somebody chopped off his arm and replaced is with a creepy demon arm that wants him to fuck you... I can certainly forgive you for not predicting that last part... You know what, there are SO MANY THINGS which would make more sense! Sad because disillusioned with Shogun. Sad because realises that all his friends are doomed to die in a futile war in which he cannot participate. Sad because lonely because of constant veneer of perfection which no one has ever seen past. Sad because forever barred from using his carefully honed skills for anything which may benefit humanity. Sad because knows his shogunate friends won't understand why he has to abandon them to their fate. Sad because unwittingly unleashed superpowered Takeda on the world after losing his cool one time. I mean, there's so many things going on in Iba's life right now! All of them more interesting than a horny arm!

"You aren't as responsive as you normally are." -_- Perfect boy is broken so let's poke him, I guess...

"... Forgive me." :( Chizuru should kiss him >:( sad boy needs kiss! >:D

"the shogunate's Chief Vassal and I haven't exactly seen eye to eye." Could it be... Not horny???

Awe, Iba's worried about Hijikata bae and upset with the shogunate officials for mistreating him <3

"they wallow in their vanity." Well, this is a better reason to be withdrawn than because horny. Perhaps I misjudged this game but I am not so sure just yet... -_-

"Hijikata will figure something out" omfg, even my dialogue options are leaving everything up to poor Hiji-mama X_X Seriously, does he have to do fucking everything???

"But that smile is more like it. You're beginning to look like the Iba I remember." ... O_e Is Chizuru using toxic masculinity against Iba? Bad feminist: Yukimura Chizuru! Let him be sad, dammit! >:(

"You know, all of that explains so much..." "Iba shied away from me all of a sudden," Oh no... Is there more? Is this it?

OH FUCK, "To tell you the truth, something else has ensnared me. Something for which you may not be prepared..." OH FFS! I ALMOST LET MY GUARD DOWN BUT HERE IT FUCKING COMES X_X

"Huh? What else is there...?" Well, I can think of a few things but none of them include THIS

"Iba reached for me all of a sudden." X_X There it is. Fucking knew it. Dammit, Iba, your boner killed the nice music!

"And then..." "...!" X_X

"Iba tackled me, pinning me to the floor before I could react, kicking up a cloud of dust that tickled my nose." XD What an image!

Okay, now romantic music is playing but Chizuru looks scared shitless... Honestly, I am on the side of the music here! Chizuru, he is your love interest! Please summon some enthusiasm! He's pretty hot!

"I trembled underneath him." Understandable if horny, not if scared. Why would you suddenly be scared of Iba? Maybe she can sense demonic possession but I call bs... Honestly, I feel like this game just wants her to be all disgustingly pure and virtuous and shit. CHIZURU, WE HAVE READ YOUR EPIC THIRST PASSAGES ABOUT HIJIKATA!!! WE KNOW YOU'RE A THIRSTY BITCH LIKE THE REST OF US!!!

KISS HIM >:D

"his eyes had seemed more ravenous than passionate." Seems fine, KISS HIM!!! >:D

Seriously, how is she not even a little turned on by this? Don't you fancy this man? If not, why the fuck are we even here?!

"As I braced myself for my lips to touch--" XD sexy. Plot twist: Iba's demon arm is totally chill but he tried to kiss her and she wasn't into it and so needed to manufacture an excuse to save face. Takeda's in on it, of course. Because why the fuck not? They're boyfriends now. Makes more sense than whatever this shit is.

ANYWAY, yeah, sorry Iba! Even after all the romancing you did in Kyoto and all your childhood memories, guess she still isn't into you.

"I-It's okay!" -_- not terribly helpful or genuine sounding. Why bother, seriously...

"guilt began to well inside of me," -_- uuuuuuggggghhhhh

"My heart was pounding at a frightening pace," yet, for all the wrong reasons -_-

"Iba, a figure of propriety and class, was the last person I'd ever expect to force himself onto me..." WOAH. That's quite a fucking leap, Chizuru! He made to kiss you, you weren't into it, he did not kiss you! Chill the fuck out! Do any of the other guys ask before kissing you on their routes? I haven't played them all but I know that plenty don't.

HONESTLY, THIS WHOLE THING IS SO STUPID. LET PEOPLE BE HORNY ON THEIR OWN.

I couldn't even enjoy this even if I was into this route because Chizuru is so visibly uncomfortable. Seriously, WHO IS THIS FOR?!? People who like to see a woman uncomfortable in sexual situations because it confirms her "purity"??? I am TROUBLED.

Like, at least let her be into it even if she refuses him due to impropriety or literally any reason she likes!

"What was he planning to do...?" Well, seeing as he could physically have done anything he wanted due to his superior strength, it's safe to assume that he did not intend to assault you! Looks like he wanted to kiss you but you weren't into it so he backed off.

Tbf, I can see how this would be uncomfortable. It's always difficult when someone reveals strong feelings which aren't reciprocated

But I still can't believe I played through the entirety of Iba's fucking Kyoto Winds route only for Chizuru to still not be into him... -_- (is this game trying to slut shame me??? "Only a SLUT kisses after the umpteenth date!" "No no! Only a SLUT even acknowledges that they were ever on a date, even when her friend aggressively points it out!" Like, what are these Victorian values that Chizuru seems to embody... No one is like that! It's an ideal of womanhood which exists only in the minds of Victorian vicars! Or, at least, their sermons...

"I thought it better not to ask." Yeah, this doesn't seem important.

Oh, and bloodlust too... Chizuru really said, "I'll let you drink my blood straight from the source but I won't give you a kiss even though you are my love interest and most important guy in the world to me" XD

"A-All good..." Uh-huh... -_-

"Could this be..." PUNISHMENT FOR DARING TO BE HORNY INSIDE A HAKUOKI GAME??? (Better send some goblins after Saito in that one bloodlust scene of his too)

Wow, somehow, the whiteness of his hair only reinforces how pale his skin is.

Bitch, you know for sure that you are not going to use that fucking medicine. Actually, Chizuru might. She seemingly not that into poor Iba. (Side note: when I wrote "poor", my autofill wanted to add "Takeda" XD poor poor Takeda).

Honestly, I feel like Chizuru has her own horny demon living inside her. Its name is Anna and she mostly ignores me >:( but I can make her let I a drink her blood! Tiny revenge...

One of these days, I'm just going to keep making him endure it and watch him lose his mind but I cba today.

"Come here. Take a drink of my blood." XD Why is this funny to me?

"Sweat dripped down the sides of his contoured cheekbones." BITCH, I SEE YOU!!! DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS THIS FUCKER!!!

Pretty sure that Chizuru's not completely asexual, based on the routes I have played (though that would be valid) but it's hard to tell since she never really gets to say what she wants... I guess that's the problem with being an otome heroine. Right now, she's possessed with the spirit of a horny goblin but maybe I should ask one of my ace friends to try this game and see what they think... Also, I don't think that I am particularly horny! I identify as demisexual... But I do occasionally do things which some may consider scandalous... But I haven't had sex in well over two years and I'm fine with that... Well, they say that sexuality is a spectrum but I think that it has many, many dimensions... Wow, this got completely sidetracked... This game has got me thinking about assumptions to question, which is a whoooole other rabbit hole and so I shall CEASE.

ANYWAY, despite my urges to Chizuru to kiss Iba, I am really not feeling him... I feel like I would have a huge crush on him if I met him irl but his route is so stale, devoid of chemistry and full of bizarre narrative choices that it leaves me completely cold :(

"What you s-suggest... is s-sickening!" Yaaas! That's right, qween! My ideas are always sickening, no?

"I s-simply have no desire to drink y-your blood." Orlly?

"Promise me that y-you won't--urnh--look back at me until I finish..." Ugh, isn't giving you my blood enough for you?

"You mustn't watch me d-defile your precious body with my g-ghoulish needs..." Firs of all, what a fucking sentence. Secondly, Iba, don't be so selfish; maybe she is into that! Thirdly, I am sensing a fucking purity kink here and I am sooooo not into that XD

"he tepidly stuck his tongue out to lick." Omfg, you're doing it now! May as well enjoy it! -_-

"the pleasure I took in soothing his agony was enough of a distraction." I feel like this is a specific kink but I don't have a word to mind...

"I noticed myself blushing, and felt ashamed for having even fantasized about what had happened." NO, GIRL!!! DON'T SLUT SHAME YOURSELF! LET YOURSELF BE HORNY FOR IBA! YEEESSSSS!!! 3:D

"Or, did Iba have feeli--No. Thinking about it could only hurt me," y tho? -_- Of course he has feelings for you! He has stated as much before! Y U SO DENSE (stupid puritanical womanly ideal >:( )

"We'll all be buried by the time we're done waiting for you." XD seems unlikely, giving Yukimura's character but I always appreciate some good Hijikata snark :')

"I barely recognised any of the Shinsengumi men in their new attire." ... Hmm... Seems unlikely...

"Edo was an unsafe place for a young woman," ah yes, fair enough. I am sure that many thugs, ronin, thieves, drunkards, etc. lurk about :) "what with the Fury Corps on the prowl..." ... FFS GUYS!!???? OMFG!!! CAN YOU MAYBE NOT UNLEASH A SQUAD OF BLOODTHIRSTY, UNDEAD SOLDIERS ON THE CITY?!??? My sympathy with Itou only grows the more I play this game... -_-'

"is this your first time visiting Hachiro's place...?" Alas, yes, since Chizuru seemingly does not wish to hook up with him for some reason... Maybe she also thinks that their chemistry is terrible...

Oooh! Iba is a rich kid, of course! Let's see if his HOOSE lives up to Hijikata's implications...

Like most routes, this is making me love Hijikata more than the guy who's route I'm on... I want to stay with bastard mum, not go live in a gilded cage with Hachiro the Horny!

"a huge, lavish mansion." XD of course!

Hijikata is LOVING THIS!

"She's just wondering how she's gonna fit all her stuff inside, is all." Omfg, this is something that my Mum would say to me as a roast because I really do have a fuckload of stuff (gotta commit to that mad gothic wizard aesthetic)

"I was entranced by the sheer size of Iba's estate." Enough to fuck him? All I want to know is whether Iba has style and taste... Someone get Miki! And Kimigiku! Sen too! Miki's the resident fashion bitch, Kiku is fabulous and Sen seems to be smart enough to care about such important things!

"You may not recall him, but Motoyama will be joining us" XD poor Motoyama! Of course I remember him! He was very memorably scared shitless of the Shinsengumi!

Motoyama, why are you such a fucking mess? Do you have a crush on Hijikata or something???

"Sounds like you can relax a little bit." Hm. We'll see..

"your time'll come." Nope. Demon arm!

"She's a troublemaker." XD Only in the most passive sense!

"he sneered coyly" omfg, I need to see this XD

"See how sweet she is, Iba?" I can hear you X_X

MOTOYAMA FFS "This is the ample opportunity to revel in the pleasures of a honeymoon without anyone else to impede on your celebration!" WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS COMING FROM??? TOO LITTLE TOO LATE! The romance was extinguished before the conclusion of the first game, like a candle deprived of oxygen! Where was your aggressive shipping then?!

"HER? As my wife?!" Um, EXQUEEZ ME!

"I'm unfit to serve as a husband at this time!" XD the fuck does that mean? Bitch, you ain't got shit else to do! You're not allowed to interfere in human conflicts... In fact, you're SUPPOSED to be stopping The Evil Egg and Takeda completing world domination but, since you cba, now is the perfect time to learn how to husband! (Do we think Iba knows what a clitoris is? I vote No). But seriously, it'd be nice to see Iba try to be vulnerable with someone for once. Motoyama can give Iba and Chizuru couples' therapy!

"Well, well. It seems both of you are stuck on the 'Woe is me, I'll never be good enough for the other' stage of your relationship, eg?" ... Did the writers just commit seppukku???

"I have to admit, I'm rather jealous..." Awe, Motoyama, maybe take your own advice and admit to Hijikata that you want him to step on you...

"With a gleeful smile, Motoyama pranced out of the room." XD This bitch! I love him! He is such a queen <3 This is what Iba deserves for being a li'l shit in Souma's route...

"Motoyama has a terrible sense of humor." *flashback to him drunkenly climbing a tree to try and reach the Moon* what are you taking about? He's a fucking genius!

"the two of us ate supper together in silence" is this supposed to be romantic tension? To me, it just looks like two people with nothing to say to each other...

"I found it impossible to sleep, as my attention was drawn to the room's extravagant décor," finally, a relatable moment! Mmmm... Pretty things...

"...I wondered if Iba was having any difficulty sleeping." XD Oh, I am sure he was...

"Hope you don't mind but I prepared some breakfast for you. Allow me to arrange the table for you." ... Chizuru deciding to play Motoyama's game, it seems... X_X IF I FORCE MY FOOD, SERVICE AND EVEN MY LITERAL BLOOD ON HIM, WILL HE LOVE ME THEN???

They're fucking married and I hate it.

Iba is a better Not-Husband than Kazama though... That fucking guy...

"allow me to manage all of your minutiae, including the welcoming of guests and post." OMFG STOP. FUCK OFF. STOP FORCING YOURSELF INTO HIS LIFE. I hate this...

HE HAS STAAAFFFFFF!!!

GIRL, YOU ARE NOT HIS WIFE!!!

IBA, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, DO NOT ALLOW THIS! IF YOU WANT A WIFE, WIFE THIS GIRL!

"I'm not sure I could stand to let any other woman cook for me again." Motoyama is trying his best but I feel like I am trapped in a domestic nightmare... This is weird... Chizuru is throwing her WIFEness at Iba like crazy and he's not acting like a husband in return. It's weird. Chizuru, stop. Back off a little, please!

"Say, why don't all of us go out for a drink?" Please?

LETTER OF DOOM (probably, knowing this game)

Nice to see Iba being angry and upset for a change! Let it all out, queen!

Okay, too far... "Iba began swinging his sword wildly," Perhaps if you let your emotions out more frequently in a controlled manner, this kind of outburst wouldn't happen (and Takeda might still be human... And you, too)

"Erm, why are you so upset...?" ... FFS CHIZURU X_X

"The shogunate ruthlessly feeds them to the dogs!" Yeah, this is pretty horrible, ngl. Genuinely curious as to what inspired such loyalty to the Shogunate in particular from the Shinsengumi...

"They sneer upon the Shinsengumi from their ivory towers," :'( Cruel and stupid, truly an unfortunate combination.

"What could I suggest that could substitute a possibly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ...?" Well, you could send him to interfere with the demons getting involved in the conflict on the opposing side, you could finally go and fuck up Kodo, Takeda and the other furies, you could set about repairing the damage done to Sen's village, get to know the demons better, now that you are part of their world...

I wish Takeda would show up. I miss him...

"you can't just quit now " yeah, he should've quit as soon as he acquired the demon arm, gone and done something useful...

"I am in no way permitted to use my power against any humans." Dumbass, there'll be plenty of furies for you to slice.

"So, that leaves me with few suitable opponents, notably Takeda, Kodo, and... Whatever Fury cohorts they have in their company." Also, Kazama and friends. So maybe get on that asap, yes? Before they kill more people!

Omfg, my cat just coughed up a fucking enormous hairball on my Mum's cream carpet so I am going to call it a night... I'm probably at the end of a chapter but I need to deal with this! FFS PERCY XD Tbf, he is very fluffy.

#hakuouki #hakuoki #iba hachiro #no Takeda this time :( #Percy the cat #omfg I am so not looking forward to cleaning this up X_X #if I was Iba then I could ask my STAFF to help #or my overenthusiastic wannabe wife

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 - Short Episode #5 “Drinking in Moderation”

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share…. and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me…

special thanks to @funjoushi for helping me with Iba’s relative’s name back in July when i put this into the spreadsheet since i made that adjustment to this post after (i normally just input stuff into the spreadsheet and leave it for someone else to review it since i’m not translating from Japanese).

HIjikata ・ Iba ・Motoyama

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 - Short Episode #5 “Drinking in Moderation”

Translation by KumoriYami

Motoyama: I, I really didn't expect that the Shinsengumi would actually invite us to drink/s. Ha, haha......

Kondou: Don't be so stiff. We knew each other while we were still in Edo.

Motoyama: Well, that's true...

Iba aside, I’m not very good at kenjutsu, so it might be boring to drink with me/s you might get bored if you drink with me.... Haha...

Iba: Motoyama, you shouldn't look down on yourself/put yourself down like that.

Hijikata: That part of you hasn't changed at all. You’re a vassal of the Shogunate now, right?

How can you be like/Why are you like this when you fight against Imperial Nationalists and those other foreigners. 

Motoyama: I, I understand that, but...

Kondou: Since we've here, let's order something to drink. Motoyama-kun what would you like to drink?

Motoyama: Oh, is that okay!? Ah, there won’t be an issue with that, right!? [reword later?]

Hijikata: As long as this guy hears about sake, he'll get excited [reword later].

Iba: This is the only thing he has in common with Nagakura-san, Harada-san and Heisuke-kun. I've also been taught how to drink by Motoyama.

Motoyama: That's because Iba's adoptive father/father-in-law, Gunbei-san, asked me to to teach Hachiro all sorts of things.  I tried to take him to Yoshiwara a few times, but... he's always managed to run away/escape.

Iba: ...I'm still training.

Hijikata: It's not good too be too inflexible. 　　　　　 If you’re not able to adapt at the right time, that might cause problems in the future.  　　　　　 For example, when being pestered/hindered by a woman.

Iba: I was also told that by my adoptive father/My father-in-law also said that.

Kondou: We'll first order sake for the time being. I'll go ask about store staff for their recommendations.

Hijikata: Hey, Kondou-san. You don't have to do that—

Kondou: It's fine. Everyone, please wait here.

Hijikata: Really, he could have just called for a server to come over.    

Even though he's the Chief of the Shinsengumi now, he's as humble as always.

Iba: But that's the best thing about Kondou-san/But, I think that’s Kondou-san’s strength. 

Kondou: Everyone, I’ve brought everything over! There’s shōchū and doburoku/unrefined sake, so drink whatever you want/like.

Motoyama: Oh, thank you!  This amount of sake will be enough/fine for drinking!

Iba: Motoyama, I'm telling you, you need to drink in moderation/be careful about how much you drink. Ours and Kondou-san’s positions are different from the time we were in Edo [reword later].

Hijikata: Things were dreadful/very scary back in Edo.

Every/Each time he got drunk, he'd start by taking off his kimono, then run around with/in just his fundoshi.

Iba: Yeah... once the alcohol get to his head/once things got to his head, he'd try to jump into the nearby river. And that was despite not knowing how to swim...

Motoyama: That's all in the past! Don't bring up each and everything that happened.

I'm also an an adult/I'm already an adult. I’m not going to cause problems for everyone with my drinking.

Iba: That would be nice/good/It would be nice if that happened...

Motoyama: Ah~, the moon is so beautiful! Kaguya-hime must still be looking down at the earth from there. 

Alright, I've decided! I'm going to/going to go to the moon! Farewell, Iba!

Iba: Please stop it, Motoyama! Saying that in such a loud voice/so loudly will cause trouble/will trouble the others in the store!

Hijikata:...Hah, I figured that it'd end up like this.

Kondou: We-Well, he's very spirited, isn't he.

Hijikata: There should be a limit to how spirited one can be...

Motoyama: The pine tress over there look suitable for climbing! Now—

Take care of yourself/It’s fine, Iba! I'm a man on the moon!

Iba: I'm telling you, you can't/no! Get off of that tree!

End

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki game translation #hakuoki yuugiroku 3 #Iba Hachiro #Hijikata Toshizou #kondou isami #motoyama kotaro

[celosia-starfall]

Hakuoki: Oni no Chi

Interlude 1: Iba’s Musings

In which Iba and Harada have a talk

[AO3 LINK]

A/N: To sort of break up the story a bit more and not end up constantly writing 20 page long chapters (like chapter 4 was), I’m going to add some “interlude” chapters every now and then that will be shorter and just throw in a bit of perspective from some of the other characters too.

@pumpkin-patch-cat @ladyshiranui @impracticaldemon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sigh fell from Hachiro’s lips as he slid down off of his horse.

Guilt had been gnawing at his chest for the past several days after he and his father had been kicked out of the Kururugi residence. He had been so sure that his plan would end up working. Even his father had agreed to it.

But when they had arrived and the suitor that Kaien was bound to marry was already there… Well, it seemed as though his plan was already bound for failure before it could’ve been put into action. To think that Kaien’s father had already worked so fast on securing a husband for her. That Takeda fellow...

Still, he couldn’t forget the anger that blossomed within him when Kaien’s father had raised a hand against her. All for simply speaking out against the future marriage. Even now, Iba felt pissed off, but there was little that he could do about it.

Instead, he chose to focus on the one thing that he was capable of doing for her. The single request that she had given to him before they’d parted ways.

“Iba?”

Blinking, he glanced over at the entrance to the dojo, a familiar dark-haired figure standing there with a raised eyebrow. “Ah, Toshi! It’s good to see you.”

“Mm. You’re back sooner than I would’ve expected. Is everything okay?” Hijikata asked, placing a hand on the young teen’s shoulder.

“Well…” Iba’s smile faltered as he glanced away, the guilt and anger rising up again in his chest the more he thought about it. “Not precisely.”

“Did something happen to Kai?”

“Not yet. Not exactly…”

Hijikata’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Would you like to talk about it over some tea?”

“Not right now. Thank you for the offer.” Iba bowed before looking around the dojo. “I’m actually here on a request from Kaien. Did Harada-san ever come back?”

“Ah.” Rubbing his face, Hijikata’s expression softened. “Yes, he’s back… He’s upset, so if he yells at you, try not to take it to heart. He’s mostly upset with himself. For not being here for Kai when she was having to leave…”

“Don’t worry, Toshi.” Iba patted the older man’s arm. “He’s not the only one…”

After all, I’m the one who had the most power to be able to keep Kaien safe. I’m the one who made a promise to her that I’d help keep her from being married off. And I failed… If I can’t even keep a promise to a friend, then I’m never going to be worthy of marrying Chizuru...

“I’ll go find Harada-san,” he said, waving a hand back at Hijikata and making his way through the dojo until he could find Kaien’s room. “Now let’s see…” He tapped his knuckles against the flooring around the room until he managed to find a spot where the wood was loose enough to lift up. Beneath the board was the journal he was looking for, just as Kaien had said.

Tucking the journal into his yukata, Iba left the room. His feet carried him around the grounds, following the sounds of someone training rigorously. Standing a few paces back against the wall, he watched as the redhead repeatedly swung and stabbed the practice spear into a set of training dummies. Far more aggressively than Iba had ever seen him.

Toshi wasn’t exaggerating… But I know I’d feel the same way if I were in his place.

Iba cleared his throat, causing the elder teen to stop and turn towards him. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Harada-san.”

Grabbing a towel, Harada wiped the sweat from his face and neck, propping the staff against one of the dummies before plopping down on the ground near Iba. “No. Not interrupting. I was just…” He waved his hand before sighing, scrunching his nose up. “Frustrated. If I had known that Kai was going to end up leaving...” Amber eyes stared up at the young teen. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be back so soon.”

“You’re not the first person to say that,” Iba stated, a hint of amusement in his voice before frowning. “I’m actually here because Kaien asked me to speak with you. Apparently there was some kind of misunderstanding between the two of you, and she was worried about you.”

“A misunderstanding…” Harada repeated slowly, letting the words sink in.

“Mm. It was something about you being in love with her, but you thinking that she’s in love with Heisuke.”

“I do love her. I know she said something about thinking that I had started hating her, but that’s never been further from the truth. If that’s what she was worried about--”

“No, no. That’s not it at all.” He chuckled, sitting down on the ground next to the spearman. “It’s the Heisuke part. She’s never been in love with him. She never had a chance to tell you that though.”

Harada blinked at him. “Oh.” Biting his lip, he rested his forearms against his knees, his fists clenching and unclenching. “The two of them had gotten so close so quickly that I’d thought…”

“Would you like to know my thoughts about the matter, Harada-san?” Iba asked gently, resting a hand on the other’s shoulder. He waited until the other silently nodded before continuing. “I think Kaien was just happy to be able to have a friend that wouldn’t judge her or pity her--”

“But I didn’t--”

“--or feel guilty about not being able to protect her. Someone that she could feel normal around. Someone that also didn’t treat her like a helpless girl.” Iba paused for a moment, tilting his head in thought. “Did Heisuke ever even know that Kaien is a girl? Because if Kaien was simply only ever Kai around him, then I think that makes it pretty clear that they were just friends.”

After a moment, Harada let out a soft curse. “Now that you mention it, I don’t think he ever did… He might be the only one that doesn’t know. Though I think Shinpachi even forgot that she’s a girl at times too…” There was a pause. “If I had only noticed and hadn’t jumped to conclusions about how she felt... I feel like I ruined my chances with her…”

Letting out a huff, Iba shook his head, even though he could understand where Harada was coming from. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. If you had, then I wouldn’t be here right now.” Reaching into his yukata, he pulled out Kaien’s journal. “She sent me back here for me to find this journal that she had hidden in her room. She wanted you to have it, and said that there’s a note for you on the last page,” he said as Harada gently took the leatherbound papers in his hands, flipping through the pages.

“It’s...mostly about me…” Harada mumbled, his fingers skimming across the papers reverently, drinking in the gentle swoops and arches of the calligraphy that inked the pages. It wasn’t until he reached the last page that he inhaled sharply, eyes widening in surprise. “She…”

Harada stood up so fast that Iba almost fell over beside him, having to hurry to catch up to the redhead as he was quickly walking away.

“What’s wrong? What did it say?” he asked, concern suddenly filling his chest. At least...until Iba saw the happiness that was across the other’s face.

“That she wished she had a chance to say it in person, but that she loves me and...she asked me to marry her.”

“And...what are you trying to do right now? If you’re thinking of heading to their family’s estate and asking her father for her hand in marriage, it’s not going to work. I already tried.”

Those words seemed to freeze Harada in his place. “You tried to marry her?”

Wetting his lips, Iba continued, hoping to prevent any type of misunderstanding. Again. “My father and I tried to arrange a fake engagement so that Kaien would be able to continue training and for her to be able to still be around everyone. But her father already had a suitor picked out. They’ve likely already left the estate by now to head to his family’s home. The wedding itself wouldn’t be for several years though.” Iba hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on Harada’s arm, knowing the amount of pain he was likely going through. After all, Iba felt his own guilt for being unable to fulfill the promise that he had made to Kaien when they’d first met.

“So what exactly am I supposed to do then? Just sit around and let the girl I love get married off to some stranger?” the redhead bit out, punching the wall beside them, a growl in his throat.

“No. You trust Kaien. And you wait for her. She’s not just going to lay down and give up. She’s going to fight for what she wants, and I know that...somehow...someday...she’ll find her way back to you…”

“But what if something happens to her...and she doesn’t?”

Amber eyes met green, and for the first time, Iba saw the amount of world-shattering grief that filled the man in front of him. He was at a loss for what to say. After all, how could he even relate to having the love of his life being ripped away from him without being able to do anything about it?

“...Then we just have to pray that it doesn’t.”

#hakuouki #hakuoki #hakuoki shinkai #oni no chi #original character #harada sanosuke #Iba Hachiro #Toudou Heisuke #hijikata toshizo #harada x oc #iba x chizuru #ibachi #takeda kanryusai

[eirenare]

Holy kriff

Look at what I just found in the junior TFA novelization (I’m reading a Spanish version that seems to be Latin Spanish, which is nice because I can always resort to searching for the Castilian one in physical stores):

... a scene that happens the night after Rey allows for BB-8 to stay with her, and that isn’t shown anywhere else (not the movie, nor the non-junior novelization, nor the junior one, nor the book “Rey’s story”)

Here’s the Latin Spanish version that I read and the English translation I did (sometimes you’ll see a pair of word options separated by an “/”, that’s because both options would probably fit or I have doubts about what option would be best to choose)

What I read:

«Quédate aquí. Volveré por ti, cariño. Te lo prometo».

—¡Sí! ¡Estoy aquí!, ¡estoy aquí! —gritó Rey. Sus ojos se abrieron y miró alrededor del caminante. Las luces del domo de BB-8 brillaban con una intensidad muy baja. Las puertas estaban cerradas. Nada en su hogar se encontraba fuera de lugar.

Como siempre, aquella voz no tenía cuerpo.

Había sido perseguida por un sueño, o más bien, por una pesadilla. En ese punto de su vida no podía decidir qué era. Lo único que sabía era que esa voz iba y venía a su antojo, en ocasiones se ausentaba durante meses, pero, cuando menos lo esperaba, regresaba; nunca la dejaba sola. Nunca.

Se levantó de su colchoneta, y en ese momento BB-8 se iluminó completamente. Aun estando en modo de reserva, sus sensores pasivos estaban activos.

Rey entrecerró los ojos debido a la luz.

—Baja tu intensidad, ¿quieres? Me estás lastimando los ojos.

Las luces del domo de BB-8 se atenuaron, no sin antes hacer una preocupada pregunta.

—Estoy bien —agregó Rey—. Solo necesito un poco de aire.

Tomó su báculo y salió. Cualquiera podría congelarse en el desierto de noche, pero Rey no salía para contemplar las estrellas, sino para sudar. Con su báculo sostenido en una primera posición, Rey realizó su rutina de ejercicios: saltó, se balanceó, esquivó y atacó. Ella fingía luchar contra enemigos invisibles, los numerosos rufianes de Jakku, que siempre intentaban robar sus hallazgos. Lanzó su báculo entre mano y mano y después lo revoleó con un estilo rápido. Lo clavó en la arena y saltó sobre él sin perder el control. La única manera en que lograría conciliar el sueño aquella noche y descansar para la recolección de piezas del día siguiente era agotarse primero.

My English translation:

“Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart/darling. I promise.”

“Yes! I’m here!, I’m here!”, shouted Rey. Her eyes opened and she looked around the walker/AT-AT. The lights of BB-8′s dome shone with a very low intensity. The doors were closed. Nothing in her house was out of place.

As always, that voice didn’t have a body.

She had been chased by a dream, or rather, by a nightmare. At that point in her life she couldn’t decide what it was. The only thing she knew was that that voice came and went as it pleased, sometimes being absent during months, but, when she least expected it, it came back—it never left her alone. Never.

She stood up from her mat, and that moment BB-8 illuminated completely. Even staying in standby mode, his passive sensors were active.

Rey closed halfway her eyes due to the light.

“Lower your intensity, will you? You’re hurting my eyes.”

The lights of BB-8′s dome softened, not without first asking worriedly.

“I’m okay”, added Rey. “I just need a bit of air.”

She took her staff/pole and went out. Anyone could freeze in the desert at night, yet Rey hadn’t come out to stargaze, but to sweat. With her staff/pole held in a first position, Rey did her exercise routine: she jumped, swung, dodged and attacked. She pretended to fight against invisible enemies, the numerous ruffians of Jakku, that always tried to steal her findings. She threw her staff/pole from hand to hand and then spun/twirled it in a quick manner. She hammered it in the sand and jumped over it without losing control. The only way she would achieve to get to sleep that night and rest for the gathering of pieces next day was to tire herself first.”

— — —

... Okay, first things first: I didn’t know Rey had been dreaming about “that voice” and these phrases before, and now I’m even more interested in this

Second thing: she dreams of the phrases and “that voice”, but there’s apparently no memory attached to it...?

And the time we officially saw for the first time these words was in the non-junior novelization, way later down the story, when Rey touches Luke’s (Anakin’s) lightsaber, and it happens when she’s in the forest, before the scene at Jakku... a scene that is curiously absent in both the non-junior and the junior novelizations, yet not on the book “Rey’s story” (a book in which, by the way, has the Maz scene after the vision changed to the unused version of the movie)

Now the thing is, if that voice really isn’t attached to a memory because it might be from the future (*again looking at Ben*), or because Rey either has literally suppressed memories, or lost them (... or there might be more behind it all)

However, this? “The only thing she knew was that that voice came and went as it pleased, sometimes being absent during months, but, when she least expected it, it came back—it never left her alone. Never.” ... Well, the remark of the voice never leaving her alone is... yeah, you get what I mean, right?

It would be poetic if that voice and its words that Rey thinks are from the past (and that haunt her), would be from the future, while we have Ben literally anchored to the past even though he tries to leave it behind?

... Or, there’s the option that Rey and Ben might’ve met when she was little back at Jakku (maybe he was on the run for some time before going to Snoke) and they kinda befriended each other, but wouldn’t recognize each other after so many years—it doesn’t help stop fueling my imagination the fact that both the junior and non-junior novelization talk about Ben’s face after unmasking like a face Rey would’ve seen in Jakku and wouldn’t remember because his described as kind of common...

#Reylo #TROS speculation #TROS theorizing #TROS theory #TROS theories #My translation #Translation #My translations #Translations

[tintriestotell]

Pagkatapos kong sumablay

It has been over a year since graduation and a lot has happened since. As my gap year comes to an end, here’s my (poor) attempt to string words together on how it went.

So, what happened after I transferred the sablay from my right shoulder to the left?

I looked around and saw wide, genuine smiles from my batch mates. It was a great run with you, PH 2013. Here’s to serving more communities, always in all ways.

I looked for my parents and I was happy to see them proud. (Yes, Ma. I saw you wipe that tear.) After the ceremony, my dad had his hands full with five bouquets, one for me and for each of my college best friends. (Thanks, Daddy.) All that followed were greetings, hugs, some tears, photos everywhere.

And then, I went home – to the people I considered family for four years in the university. The remaining days were filled with graduation parties, celebrations, beach trips, getaways, all before we had to go our separate ways. [s/o ASS(S)U]

And then, I went home – to South Cotabato. I was welcomed with open arms by my family. I went to every family gathering I could go to, to make up for all the times I wasn’t able to attend because I was in Iloilo. I swear, every birthday, debut, anniversary, wedding. Tangina, you name it, I was there.

Of course, there were –

Hugs and handshakes

“Congrats” and “so proud of you’s”

But, I wasn’t saved from all the –

Graduate ka na, kelan ka magtatrabaho?

Si *name*, hindi nga UP pero may trabaho agad

Abi ko mag-med ka?

Truthfully, I went home – to explore what Public Health has to offer. There were opportunities too great, too hard to say no to, but, unfortunately, too far from home, so I had to let them go. I was set to find work in SC so I could be closer to my family. My patience was tested as I waited in line at job fairs, applied for clerical positions, sent a ton of emails, only to get rejected because of various reasons.

Wala abi position para sa field mo, sorry.

We need experience.

Hija, we have an age requirement.

Kailangan kasi may lisensya ka para sa job na ‘to.  

So, I went home – to the friends I’ve had since childhood. I had all the time to catch up with them, and celebrations were in order.

Sleepovers!

Dinner outs!

Road trips!

But, the hype... well, it’s not always there.

From celebratory toasts to drinking the pressure away

From graduation speeches to drunk conversations of what to do next

From excited phone calls at 7am to breaking down at 2am

So, every time I went home – to our small town, to the familiar comfort of our house and the people in it, I wanted rest. It felt really great to be with the ones I love most for 24 hours in a day/7 days a week, but at the same time quite weird.

/Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think it’s safe to say that I share the same sentiments with those who’ve went away for some time and went back home/

I’ve lived alone for the past four years and it has taught me to be more independent. So when I went back home, it felt unsettling that I was always being tended to, always being asked on how I was doing, and always, always being around people. How weird and at the same time wonderful, to be asked what I wanted to eat for breakfast, and to wake up and actually have breakfast on the table. I wanted rest, and I got it. But, going back home also meant going back to responsibilities, obligations, and expectations.  

Hatid/sundo mo muna..

Duty ka anay palihog kay kulang staff

Ihabol pasa ang permits

Bakit ka pala hindi nag-engineer?  

:)

For quite some time, I think my parents were worried about me, along with everything that has been going on. They were wary when I told them about my change of plans during my last year in college, my decision to go back home after graduating, my constant search for something I don’t even know.  I questioned my choices, reflected on my relationships with the people around me, and dreaded each passing day that I doubted myself.  

Three months after graduation, I was still unemployed. Now, it might sound so petty complaining about this, but I know that I wanted to work – to serve back. I was scared; it felt like I was losing time. By then, I was starting to realize that maybe I was meant to focus somewhere else – study for an upcoming exam, help my parents out, rest. So that’s what I did– duty in the day, read concepts at night. I made plans with friends and family for the remaining months, booked plane tickets, planned trips, prepared documents, etc. It was already October, and I was driving around SC, going into offices, meeting people, passing permits, when I got a call.

“Are you employed? If not, drop by the Provincial Health Office. DOH has something for you.”

And when I thought everything was falling apart, it was actually falling into place. I was happy and scared at the same time, I felt like I was going to burst. After a serious talk with my parents, I visited the Rural Health Unit, signed the contract and started first thing Monday.

So technically, I went home – to a new one, welcomed by a new family. I was deployed in another municipality’s rural health unit.

Evaluations and presentations

Fieldwork and local health board meetings

My childhood dream is to be a doctor and admittedly, I took BS in Public Health as my pre-med course. When I was choosing which course to take for college, I realized that every course would be hard, so I might as well take one close to my heart. I remember during our first year orientation, one of our professors told us that PH is not a pre-med course. But, four years in BSPH and I knew I made the right choice. Being in UP opened my eyes to society’s realities, most especially in our healthcare. This journey led me to advocacies and opportunities that strengthened the want and need to keep PHighting for the cause. I postponed my med school plans to know more about the system firsthand. No words can ever describe how thankful I was for the opportunity that DOH-HRH gave.

I came across this quote by Mahatma Gandhi, it stated: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” I came to realize that this rang true.

However, just when I was starting to get to know the personnel and other health staff, just starting to get the hang of the job, when a whole new plot twist came my way.  

Apparently, my parents wanted me to take the licensure exam. I was hesitant, of course because I was not sure if I could pass. At the same time, NMAT results were out and I needed to apply to medical schools. Some had really early deadlines. I was stuck in SC and cannot personally process my documents.  My parents were bothered because we barely see each other in the house. My friends are always offering to have dinner or drive me to work and I appreciate their concern. I was juggling doing everything in my gap year that I guess it was taking a toll on me.

“Unsa man ning bataa nga ni uy, dili ka kabalo mupahuway?”

“Kath, mata mo ay, dalom na gid.”

“Uso matulog, girl.”

I was supposed to renew my contract with DOH, when my parents brought up MTLE again. It was January, and local review centers didn’t accept students anymore since the licensure exam is already on March. This was a very hard decision for me to make, but when I found a review center that opened a last section, I took the risk.

For a while, I had to go MIA – deactivated Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, the usual. Only a handful of people knew about my whereabouts. I was trying to avoid the weight, the pressure of people knowing that I was studying for the boards. As a PH grad, it was harder for me to study the Med Tech subjects. My review classmates were re-viewing the concepts while I was still just learning them. And I know studying in college was hard, but the pressure that MTLE puts on you, grabe beh. Iba. Di ako makatulog. There were assessment exams, simulated exams; I was having a difficult time processing everything because I can’t even reach the review center’s passing rate. At the same time, I was processing my med school applications, going into interviews, changing review schedules so I can work my way around both.

A few days before the MTLE, medical schools started to release the results for qualified applicants. I remember how happy I was to receive emails and see my name on lists. It was the push that I needed to get through. It felt like a thorn was removed from my chest.

During MTLE, believe it or not, I fell asleep during the second subject. Honestly, it was *that* difficult and I was uncertain if I could still pass. The next few days felt like torture as we waited for the results. But things started looking up when I got a call from my best friend, greeting me with “hello, RMT”  Legit one of the happiest moments of my life.

And then, I went home – back to SC where I celebrated the victory with my family and friends.  I got to visit the RHU and I remember how heartwarming it felt when they told me they were proud of me. I spent time with my family again, celebrated my dad’s 50th. My gap year was slowly coming to an end.

I went home – to UP. I can’t help but feel sentimental when I got my diploma. I personally thanked my professors for their recommendation letters, dropped by the laboratories to say hi to the staff, took photos with Oble, and walked around campus. Masaya akong pinaglaban kita, UP. Masaya akong pinili kita, PH.

It was already June when I’ve finally decided on which medical school to go to. If you asked me this time last year, I never would have imagined myself here. Let’s just say that PH reeled me in. July was filled with transition from gap year to medicine proper. I’ve traded seascapes and mountains for cityscapes and skylines. It’s something new, yet something familiar, too.

In the past year, I got to catch sunrises and chase sunsets, let myself get lost, crossed oceans, trekked mountains, met people, got to know myself more, and followed my internal compass that was pointing north. I may have taken the long way home, and the route is not always the scenic one, but it sure was worth it. I’m still scared of what the future holds, but I learned that things may not always go my way, and that’s okay.

This year, ahh this year, taught me that plans may change, but the goal remains the same.  

And now, I’m going to medical school. This will be my home for the next few years, whether I like it or not. It’s funny how this universe works, but I’m happy that the road still led me to you, Public Health. Thank you for your warm welcome, ASMPH. Let’s #23iumphAsOne.

Malayong lupain, amin mang marating, di rin magbabago ang damdamin.

No matter where I go, I will never forget the lessons I learned from you, UP.  You were there when my eyes were opened, when my heart was changing skin. You taught me that we are only able to achieve great things because we take risks.  We are aware of the possibility that we might fail to achieve what we set out to do, but we do it anyway. You taught me that life may knock you down, and you will hit rock bottom. When that happens, the only way is up.

Pagkatapos kong sumablay, dama ko ang saya at pasa ko rin ang bigat na nasa balikat ko. The sablay is something we wear with pride, but at the same time, humility. It’s an achievement, and also a reminder of our responsibility to serve the people.

Pagsilbihan ang taong bayan, sa kahit anong paraan, sa kahit anong larangan.

#UP #sablay #ASMPH #medschool

[misfittedmishaps]

DAY 018: Let Go

When I was a child, Mama would always ask me everytime na lumalabas kami sa bahay na humawak lang sa kanya. She always tell us na kumapit lang kami sa kanya dahil baka mayroong masamang mangyari sa amin.

Siguro, iyon ang reason kung kaya whenever lalabas kami ng bahay, hinahawakan ko ang kamay niya. Sa tuwing naglalakad kami sa mall, I would always cling my hand on hers, kahit na sa paglalakad sa mall, ganoon lagi. Iyon ay sa kadahilanan na natatakot ako... I was afraid that I might get lost. I was afraid na baka mawala si Mama at hindi na kami magkita pa.

Yes, ang exaggerated, pero ganoon naman tayo as a kid, right? We tend to think about the worst case scenario. We tend to get scared over little things na hindi naman talaga dapat katakutan.

I remember na minsan ay namasyal kami sa isang lugar. It was a cultural theme park named "Nayong Pilipino" and it is located at Clark, Pampanga. I can't remember the exact detail on what happened because my brother and I were still little noon. All I remember is that we're looking at a certain sculpture, and biglang naiwan na nila kami.

At that point, I thought I was gonna lose everyone na kasama namin doon. Natakot ako na baka tuluyan na kaming maghiwalay at hindi na namin sila pa makita pa. But they're our family, and I knew that we had to do something, back then.

So, niyaya ko si Kuya. I remembered Mama telling us na in case we got lost, kailangan pumunta kami sa security guard or sa pulis. Sabihin namin ang pangalan niya at patulong kami sa paghahanap. I remembered that kung kaya niyaya ko si Kuya at ginawa namin iyon.

I don't know who the person is, pero alam kong staff siya doon. Nilapitan namin siya at humingi kami ng tulong. Pagkatapos noon ay nagpasama kami sa kanya na hanapin si Mama.

As I remember that event, all I remember is that we're really trying to look for them. Tahimik lang si Kuya but ako, tumatakbo lang. Until we found a familiar road, and I remember na doon kami somewhere naka-park. So, I ran. We ran. Until we found a familiar Toyota Avanza na naka-park lang doon.

Nandoon na sina Mama at iba pa naming kasama, and noong nakapunta na kami, that is where I cried. I really thought that I was gonna lose them, sa totoo lang. And I hugged them, and umiyak lang ako nang umiyak.

Years later, nagbago na iyon. I realized that I should not always depend on Mama and Papa. Ayaw ko maging pabigat. Which is why, little by little... I tried to let go, and I don't mean this na I am letting them go out of my life and living on my own. What I mean is, I learned how to let go the comfort na ibinibigay nila sa akin.

Noon, hatid-sundo kami ng isang tricycle that they hired para maging transportation namin sa school. But then, I learned how to commute which was more inconvenient than the latter, but at least we learned to go to places on our own.

Noon, kapag tumatawid, gusto namin hinahawakan ang kamay ni Mama. Now? I could cross the road on my own, kahit na alam ko na by doing that, may risk na masagasaan ako ng sasakyan, but then, I learned to be careful.

Noon, whenever may project, I would always ask for money pambili ng materials na kinakailangan ko. Right now, I save up para makabili na ako, which was inconvenient dahil it means that I have to cut my expenses sa school para lang makapag-save, but then, I learned how to budget my money.

Days were better when we were a kid who seek comfort to their parents. You don't have to worry about everything dahil if you need something, your parent will try to give it to you. Pero tulad nga ng sabi ni Bea Alonzo sa kanyang movie na The Mistress, "hindi lahat ng gusto mo, makukuha mo", and maybe that's the point of life. Maybe we are not meant to live in comfort all the time.

Maybe... Just maybe... Maybe we are meant to stand on our own, which is why when Dads asked me this question...

What helps you gradually (if not totally) let you out of your comfort zone?

...ito ang sagot ko sa kanya: Let go.

We are so scared of what's out there that we hold on tightly to our comfort zone. Natatakot tayo masaktan. Natatakot tayo mahirapan. Natatakot tayo mabuhay with uncertainties in our life, which is why, like a parent to a child, we tend to hold to our comfort zone and never let go.

Nakakatakot, yes, but we all have to let it all go. Imagine this. We live in a planet with hundreds of millions square kilometer wide, yet YOU limit yourself into that small circle that you've created and called yourself your comfort zone. Now, imagine living your entire life into that tiny circle... Was it worth it? No. Because there is more things to see outside your comfort zone. There is more life than where you're living in.

We just to let go all of our fears and doubt, like how I let go mine. We have to have the guts to explore what life really is... Uncertain, yes, but beautiful in a way that is mysterious. I know it's hard dahil nakatatakot, but what's scarier is living your life entirely inside that small circle of yours, not able to see the beauty of life.

Always remember: Let go.

Ikaw naman, Dads. Earlier, I talked about getting lost. So, about doon ang tanong ko sa iyo:

When did you feel like you're lost in life? How did you found your way and how did this experience start to change you?

Iyon lamang po, maraming salamat! Haha.

- Maju

[kaoarika]

I cannot stress enough this, but I remember a post from the past few days that basically mentions that “Matsui” “stated” that a ship in their series is not “endgame” on Twitter...

...except that that damn twitter account is not even an official one. Heck, I’m pretty sure he isn’t even very English fluid in the first place? Pretty fishy and shady if you ask me.

...Especially if the account only has like 14 tweets, 128 followers, and had been inactive since late 2016.

The only tweets in JP the account even liked (and this is mostly according to my online translators AND even the BING one) are about a discussion about Korea’s unification possibilities? What? What does have to do with what...

They claim that they were “hacked” and had like 19k followers... except that I’m certain that Matsui never used Twitter.

I follow some authors on Twitter (WSJ manga authors like Asou Shuiichi, Shinohara Kenta, and Usuta Kyousuke for example), and they usually either follow their assistants’ team, their editors, the official PR accounts for their manga series, friends in the same freaking industry, sometimes the anime staff’s official account, or their anime’s voice actors, etc. But this guy doesn’t? Why people don’t suspect even a bit on that?

Even their bios may say more specific stuff about them and their works which may add credibility, just to take example from Shinohara’s: 

漫画家です。少年ジャンププラスで「彼方のアストラ」連載中。2007年～2013年「SKET DANCE」連載。2015年「バトルスピリッツ烈火魂」キャラクターデザイン。

I know authors can get into the Twitter game so late, to make some presence on social media (Shinohara ended Sket Dance in 2013, but he really didn’t entered into Twitter until Kanata no Astra started being published online... and heck, it was because he was FORCED to, as fans asked too many SukeDan questions on the Astra one -as it is managed by his working team-). Not all of them do that, and prefer to choose a certain team of “agency” or a manager that is close to the author because they don’t want or cannot spend time on social media (case in point, Araki Hirohiko’s twitter account).

Heck, if we go more technical about more credibility, the anime and manga accounts. On certain ocassions they MIGHT RETWEET whatever the original authors mention about them, being mostly announcements. In the two years I have followed the AnK*you related accounts, they have NEVER mentioned an “@” response to that account if the account was “hacked” in the fist place. Because sometimes, it either still links to it, or it becomes unaccessible leaving the original link in the @ mention inexistant. (I have been almost a decade on Twitter, I know what I see, lol).

The lack of official accounts following each other should have risen red flags but the BAFFLING one is the VERY ENGLISH FLUENCY that should have set alarms everywhere, to be honest 👀. And I’m pretty sure that’s why most people would simply ignore it (ignored enough that only 128 people do not know it’s a fake account? wow... lmao). The timing of the creation of the account seems fit accordingly to Matsui’s presence on last year NY Comic Con, which let me tell you, IIRC, the panels he was guest used mod translators???

So.

The only reason someone may have posted that thing was certainly because the last Kor*otan novel has shiptease to Na*isa and Kay*no, and they are salty that it isn’t certain other pair around *rolls eyes*, just to validate that it “will never be endgame”. Especially if the novel’s side is endorsed by now that Matsui has given it a bless as he supervised it and mentioned it COULD BE considered official canon material.

Thing is... (and this is what I liked about the manga’s ending), he never really went into saying that some pairings were endgame as other of his contemporaries that got their series also finished during the past year (heck, it was pretty chill on this side??? WOW). The gaps are pretty much open to interpretation, because that was never the intention of the series in the first place, and the ending (not the bonus chapters in GA, mind you) got them in different places than being involved in canonical relationships (a.k.a. most of them were still searching for jobs! Worrying about romantic relationships? Nope! (although Har*a was curious about Kay*no because... what else she would do as “mom” of the class?). The most canonical thing was Ch*iba and Ha*yami on their bonus chapter, and that was pretty much it? The rest was shiptease.

I know people in some factions are kinda still onto that “OMG! DOES THIS MEAN THAT KAY*NO IS PREGNANT” because there is still that mistranlation of certain “we-do-not-care-about-this” MS quick translation and that aggregators mostly picked it up (also somewhat sure other languages’ scanlations did too) instead of the more closest M20 accurate one. Salty or not, considering what canon implies too... (And some symbolism that Matsui never really explained, like that one in the train station... which was THANKFULLY not mentioned in the anime).

To be honest, sure, even if the novel’s story is canonical, it is also somewhere between their graduation and the actual ending of the series. Even if it’s purely shiptease, realistically speaking, Na*isa would be oblivious as hell about that at the end... and there’s still too much that can happen in a five-four year time gap. OR post-canon. Let the Na*ikae fans have their fun with some canonical material?? And not being salty over that...??

...especially if the other ship has been over my throat all this damn time (and Le*che didn’t help). But... that’s my personal opinion on that.

TL;DR- That account this specific user wanted to prove as “yep, they aren’t endgame because the creator said so ;)” is fake AF. That is searching validation in the wrong places with the wrong sources. Especially if Matsui never went and said “yep, they are/aren’t endgame” with ANY of his pairings (with few exceptions, and one which was more obvious than the others), most of them (including info provided from the GA profiles) are still catalogued as shiptease. 

But what you would do, am I right?

One tip though, if you are uncertain that “x” o “y” manga author have a Twitter account, and suddenly find they have one in English or any other language they are supposed to be not well very fluid into.... there’s a 200% chance they are fake.

#as long this post stays away from its fandom tag #just a couple of observations #probably people figured that account was fake af and simply ignored that post from the tags #the only thing I'm very salty about #is that there is a VERY slight chance that the other students will have speaking parts #as always lol #kao's nonsenses

[markmwingert]

Salt Lake City travelblog: A Moroccan loves America

The statues of Karl Malone and John Stockton stand in front of the Vivant Smart Home Arena. (Photo by Berry Tramel)

My first full day in Salt Lake City was long. I don’t know how long, 8 a.m. to 1 a.m.? Only an hour or so of break in the middle. A search for toothpaste that turned into a tour of the University of Utah. Four Uber rides. Thunder shootaround and then a Thunder game. Lots of cool stuff to see. Lots of cool stuff to experience.

Years from now, I’ll be able to look up the box score of the Jazz’s 115-102 victory over the Thunder, and I’ll remember snippets from the game. But I won’t have to look up anything to remember the words of Mohcine Lahlali, a Moroccan immigrant who drove the shuttle for the Marriott Hotel.

Remember, my toothpaste had been confiscated at Will Rogers Airport on Friday night, and the Marriott had none for sale. The Marriott staff said there wasn’t a store really walkable, but a shuttle would be glad to take me. So Saturday morning, I hopped on a shuttle driven by Mohcine. I got on with a woman who needed to go to a university dorm and a couple who needed to go the University of Utah Hospital.

Turned into a little bit of an adventure. Mohcine, in just his second day on the job, didn’t know all the roads around campus, so like everyone else under 40, he relied on GPS. The woman knew the dorm to which she was headed but had no clue how to get there. She was from New York City, was there to help her daughter move back home (for the semester break, I think), and she wasn’t pushy. She just talked a lot.

We drove around the campus for what seemed like forever before finding the dorm. I was thinking I could have walked to Denver and bought toothpaste in the time it took us to find this dorm. The Utah campus is set in the foothills of the Wasatch Mountains, so it’s not like there are a bunch of 90-degree intersections. We finally got the woman to her place, and Mohcine expressed surprise that I wasn’t with her. He thought I was her husband. Then it didn’t take long to get the couple to the hospital, and then, and only then, did we get to chat while looking for a store.

Turns out Mohcine is from Morocco. Immigrated to Maryland, then moved on to Utah, looking for a lower cost of living. Looking for a place he could buy a house. Turns out he found a higher cost of living. Salt Lake is quite the desirable location. Mohcine asked me about Oklahoma, from the cost of living to the number of immigrants. I told him about all the Petroleum Engineering students who have been coming to OU and OSU for at least half a century. That led to a discussion about Morocco, which I know only through Humphrey Bogart and “Casablanca.”

Mohcine told me Morocco is a nation of about 40 million, with the geographic size of California, and he is incredibly proud of his homeland on the northern tip of Africa. Says it’s relatively safe, though not necessarily affluent. By the time we got back to the hotel, he wanted me to visit Morocco and demanded that I stay with his family. I probably couldn’t talk the Dish into it, but it sounded like fun.

Mohcine loves Morocco, but he also loves America. Calls it the greatest place in the world. I’ve got to tell you. That’s a wonderful thing to hear. Our politicians, national and state, spend most of their time telling us how bad off we are. And here’s a shuttle driver from Morocco reminding us how great we are. Just what I needed.

MOUNTAIN CAMPUS

I knew Brigham Young University, down in Provo, was set against the Wasatch Mountains. I had no idea the University of Utah was, too. But it’s a gorgeous setting, with all kinds of cool buildings set along curvy roads.

The university is adjacent to Fort Douglas, which was established in October 1862 during the Civil War as a small military garrison. It became a fort in 1878 and was closed in 1991, with most of the buildings turned over to the university. A small section of the original fort remains in use by the U.S. Army Reserve, but the rest of the fort has become a variety of vintage housing and conference centers and such. Really nice.

The Utah medical campus is adjacent to the main campus. It’s as if OU’s Health Sciences Center was in Norman.

I haven’t been up close to the Huntsman Center, where the Utes have played basketball since 1969 and which has hosted 15 NCAA Tournaments. But I got to see Rice-Eccles Stadium in the daylight, and it’s a great setting. An Olympic flame burns out front of the stadium; Rice-Eccles was the site of the 2002 Winter Olympics opening ceremonies. I would like to see a game at Rice-Eccles.

The University of Utah has an enrollment of 32,760. Which makes it only the third-largest school in the state. Brigham Young’s enrollment is 33,517 (and could be as big as it wants; Mormons by the hundreds of thousands apply). But the biggest university in the state is Utah Valley University in Orem, which has an enrollment of 37,282.

Orem is about 35 miles south of Salt Lake, near Provo, and Utah Valley has unprecedented growth. The school was founded in 1941 as the Central Utah Vocational School. In 1967, the school became Utah Technical College at Provo and began conferring associate degrees. In other words, it was a junior college. In 1977, it moved to Orem. It became a four-year school in 1993, a university in 2007 and now has trumped both Utah and BYU in enrollment. Amazing.

DOWNTOWN SALT LAKE

We took an Uber downtown to get to Thunder shootaround. These game-day practices are more ritual than anything. Keep guys on a schedule and a rhythm.

It was my first look at Vivant Smart Home Arena, which opened in 1991 as the Delta Center.

It’s a terrible name – worse than Smoothie King Arena – and I’m not sure of the marketing value. I had to look up what Vivant Smart Home is. It’s a security company, doing work all over the U.S. and Canada.

Not a good name. But a great arena. Vivant Smart Home Arena has been recently renovated. It now seats 18,306, and its seating is more vertical than the Thunder’s Chesapeake Arena. I would liken it to a bigger Gallagher-Iba Arena.

The concourses are nice, but not quite as nice as Chesapeake. And the bowels aren’t quite as spacious as Chesapeake. But still, a quality arena and one that allows the Jazz to produce excellent atmospheres.

Out front are statues of Karl Malone and John Stockton. The intersecting streets in front of the arena have been renamed in their honor. Malone and Stockton, of course, are associated with the Jazz in a way that few teammates are with a solitary franchise. They spent 17 seasons together with the Jazz and became Hall of Famers.

The crowd Saturday night was hyped. Players and media said the crowd surpassed the crowd for Utah’s 2017 playoff games, and it was very good, but I don’t know that it was any better than the Thunder’s.

After shootaround, we walked across the street to have lunch at the Rib Chop House, where Erik Horne had dined before. I had a beef tenderloin salad, which was only $12.95 and was outstanding. We ate with Fred Katz of the Norman Transcript, Royce Young of espn.com and Brian Brinkley and Nate Feken of Oklahoma City’s KFOR-TV.

UBER STORIES

When you go downtown twice in one day, that’s four Uber rides. The first and last were uneventful. But the middle two were interesting. We had women drivers that liked to talk.

The woman who took us back to the hotel in mid-afternoon immediately apologized because she had just had a facelift. I swear I’m not making this up.

I could have guessed that she had had some work done. But I didn’t know anyone went around publicizing it. Especially to total strangers.

The next woman gave us her life story. She was a nice woman. Found out what Erik and I did for a living and said she always wanted to be a writer. Basically told us why it never happened – raised five kids on her own, which is laudable. But it strikes me as odd that people share details about their lives to total strangers. HBO once had a show called TaxiCab Confessions or some such thing, in which customers share their secrets with cab drivers. Uber seems to be the opposite. The drivers do the talking.

But those rides back and forth to downtown gave us a chance to see some of the interesting parts of the city. A fabulous, massive old courthouse. A great library. Salt Lake has a lot to see. I need to see more.

Source Article

The post Salt Lake City travelblog: A Moroccan loves America appeared first on Tips For Renting Salt Lake City Apartments.

Read full post at: http://www.markmwingert.com/salt-lake-city-travelblog-a-moroccan-loves-america/

[zanygivercomputer-blog]

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[trilotechcorp]

New Post has been published on PBA-Live

New Post has been published on http://pba-live.com/alex-cabagnot-doesnt-mind-losing-bpc-award-to-chris-ross-keeps-eyes-on-bigger-prize-for-smb/

Alex Cabagnot doesn't mind losing BPC award to Chris Ross, keeps eyes on bigger prize for SMB

ALEX Cabagnot gladly rewarded a few thousand pesos to some utility staff for completing a relay race under time pressure around the oval that encircled the Acropolis gym after San Miguel Beer practice on Thursday.

That thoughtful gesture showed that the SMB star playmaker still had plenty of blessings to share and thank about after losing the Best Player of the Conference race to teammate Chris Ross on Wednesday night.

“Team bonding lang,” Cabagnot said in a chat with SPIN.ph after fooling around with the team staff. “That’s just what we do all the time. Sharing your blessings with them and having fun. We do that every time.”

Tied with Ross in the statistical points standings after the semifinals, Cabagnot still wound up a distant second place after also taking into account the point value of the votes from the media, players, and the league for the top plum in the PBA Commissioner’s Cup.

But Cabagnot has nothing to complain about.

“I know a lot of people were asking me how I felt about that yesterday, pero there’s so many blessings that’s going on me with right now and blessings that God has given me, my family, with the situation that I’m in with San Miguel and the championship,” the 34-year-old cager said.

“You can’t be down…with the crust of the pie, it’s just a small piece lang talaga,” he added. “You can’t let your selfish side get the better of you. Ganun talaga eh. I’m happy for Chris. He’s one of my closest friends on the team. We work hard together. And even if June Mar (Fajardo) would’ve won it, at least it stayed with San Miguel.”

Ross emerged on top with 1,038 points compared to just 746 by Cabagnot, while Fajardo finished fourth in the race with 530 behind Jayson Castro who tallied 630 points.

“That was just how it worked out,” Cabagnot said. “I think the people have spoken, and it shows naman with the tally sheet.”

Yet it seems it was Cabagnot who played like the BPC on Wednesday night as he led all locals in scoring with 18 points, spiked by three treys, on top of six boards, five assists, and two steals, and only one turnover in 39 minutes in the 102-97 loss in Game Four. Ross, on the other hand, was held to eight points, five boards, four assists, two steals, against four turnovers in almost 39 minutes of play.

“I just want to stay consistent,” Cabagnot said. “Yun lang yung pangako ko sa sarili ko, sa teammates ko, and to my management – hopefully maging consistent lang ako with what I’ve been doing since the beginning of the conference to right now.”

Anyway, there’s still the Finals MVP that he could win if and when he leads the Beermen to the title.

“No, no. Hindi ako aasa dun (sa Finals MVP). I won’t make asa with any accolades,” Cabagnot insisted. “I really would love to win a championship. I want to go back to the few first statements that I’ve made – we haven’t won this in sixteen years and stuff.”

“With regards to Finals MVP or any MVP and to anybody that’s hoping for that, you could only control what you can control and what you could do,” he added. “Sana what I can control can help the team win.”

What he can control is to keep playing at a high level starting in Game Five on Friday night against an unpredictable Texters side in a series that’s heating up and down to a best-of-three.

“I don’t know what to expect, actually, with Talk ‘N Text,” Cabagnot said. “The only thing I can control is I expect us to make adjustments because I know they’re going to throw waves of different situations, so we have to be prepped for that.”

“It comes more of the visualization – like what coach would say and studying certain situations that they would throw and how you would counter it, or what you could throw to them and once they counter, what could you re-counter and stuff,” he added.

Cabagnot agreed that it was definitely a chess match between not just the coaches, but the players as well.

“You have to know your move like twenty moves ahead,” Cabagnot said. “That’s the fun part about the finals. Yung mga finals naman, hindi naman talaga bara-bara yan. The first couple of games, syempre you’re so high in emotion just being in the finals. Pero the middle part of the series, it’s the hard part kasi dun talaga naga-adjust.”

“Dun talaga yung nagpapakita kung sino yung mga hugot na ganun, and what you could pretty much show individually as a player – syempre yung depensa nila sa’yo iba, tapos the next game iba ulit, and hopefully you could kind of sway it in your favor by making them go play you this way, pero meron ka ng counter sa ganun,” he added.

“So it’s definitely like fun,” Cabagnot continued. “But Talk ‘N Text, they’re a really tough team. It’s a good matchup not just the players, but it’s a good matchup for the PBA fans. They could see two tactician coaches, good players on each side, and good imports. It’s fun for the fans.”

It will be more fun for Cabagnot and the rest of the Beermen if they can end their title drought in midseason tournaments. – Spin.ph

[dubredofanfics]

Six Years

Part 22 - I Can’t Do This Alone

Leni heard that Rodrigo was unable to attend a conference in Misamis Oriental due to fever and it worried her, she felt so desperate to see him to at least take care of him despite that she knew that it would be unlikely for his staffs to allow her to even come close to him; hence, she tried.

"Mam, ano kase eh." Bong expressed his doubts of allowing her to visit him. "Utos kase ni Digong na wag—"

"Sige na naman, Bong. Gusto ko lang siya makita. Kahit sandali lang?" She bargained, he scratched his head. "Mam, nagpapahinga po kase si Digong—"

"Sisilip lang ako." She begged. "Hindi ako magpapakita. Sige na, please? Nag-aalala lang naman ako. Sige na, Bong." She nagged. "Gusto ko lang siya makita, kahit yun lang." She added.

Yasay and Lorenzana were both around and heard her pleading. "Pagbigyan mo na, sisilip lang." They favored her as despite the rift, they still believe that Leni is sincere with her feelings for Digong.

"Sige po, pero wag nalang po sana magpakita." Bong requested. "Kaming bahala," Yasay assured and walked Leni to Digong's resting room.

As she laid her eyes on him, she couldn't help but feel so intoxicated with the fact of seeing him again. She missed him so bad, he was so dear to her.

She wanted to hug him as she watched him rest peacefully but she couldn't. After a couple of minutes, Yasay and Lorenzana escorted her out of the room.

"Alam mo, he might not talk to you but he still likes you." Yasay brought up making Lorenzana chuckle.

"Sana nga," she wished.

"Totoo yon. Nagdadrama lang yang si Digong. Tiwala ka samin, malakas ka parin diyan." He assured. "Roommates kami noon, kilalang kilala na namin yan." Yasay added.

Leni felt a bit eased hearing their sentiments. "Salamat," she expressed as she felt so grateful that despite Yasay and Lorenzana's closeness to Digong and awareness with the situation, they still manage to trust her. "Salamat kase hindi kayo galit saakin." She continued.

"Leni," Yasay scoffed. "We believe you. Your actions speak louder." He followed. "Basta nakikita namin na ano mo talaga yang si Digong, okay kami sa'yo." Lorenzana added causing a smile to sprout from her lips.

"Sana makapagusap kami ng kaming dalawa lang para makapag-explain ako. Sobrang dami naming hindi pgkakaunawan and ang hiling ko lang mabigyang linaw ko yon." She sighed weakly.

Despite their uncertainty of when Digong would ever talk to her, they knew that day would eventually come.

—

He was still feeling a bit ill but it didn't stop him from working; he was filled with dedication. He wanted to keep himself busy to avoid thinking about Leni but then it was ineluctable for him to have vacant time in between his working hours.

He has been too busy skimming through the pages of proposed bills, outlines and papers that he barely noticed how Leni's framed photo was still up on his desk — even before he started working.

Nandito pa pala 'to.

He uttered weakly as he stared at her image that has always been perfect in his eyes.

Seeing her smile used to be his transcendental remedy but now it's just a triggering pain to his misery.

He sighed and held the picture frame to have a closer look.

The more that he looks at her, the more that it hurts.

He aches for the fact that she'll never love him the way he did, he breaks for the thought that everything he thought was true was just a play for her.

Maybe we're not for each other. Maybe you're not for me but for him.

He advised to himself as he painfully opened his lowest desk drawer and hid her photo beneath the pile of his documents.

"Sige na naman. Hindi ako mangugulo. Gusto ko lang siya makausap." "Busy po kase—" "Sandali lang. Kahit thirty minutes." "Masesermunan po ako—" "Sabihin mo nandito ako..." Digong overheard from the outside, out of curiosity, he stepped out from his office and saw Leni beseeching Bong to let her in — they were silenced upon his sudden presence.

"Digong—" "Bakit?" He asked bleakly.

"Pwede ka ba makausap? Yung tayong dalawa lang?Magpapaliwanag lang ako—"

He turned around, "Marami pa akong gagawin." He held the door knob ready to go in. "Rody naman. Pakinggan mo lang ako, i-eexplain ko lang yung sarili ko—" she tried to stop him but Bong and the other guards subtly stopped her.

"Buntis ako!" She yelled making everyone shook.

Silence swarmed the area. "Ano?!" The hint of alarm manifest over his tone. The guards immediately took their hands off her counting her as a fragile woman of the president.

Even Leni was shook of what came out of her mouth out of desperation. Digong grabbed her hand and dragged her inside his office, he shut the door next to them for privacy.

"Buntis ka?" He asked again making her speechless. "Baka kay Banal yan—"

"No! No. Hindi. Ano, hindi!" She stammered. "Kanino?" He retorted.

She exhaled sharply, "Hindi ako buntis." She spilled bringing so much dismay to him. "Put—" He scoffed in disbelief. He got annoyed for the deception.

"Sorry, hindi talaga ako buntis, hindi ko lang alam kung pano ka mapapapayag na kausapin ako." She explained.

"Leni, hindi pa ba sapat yung pangloloko mo saakin, tuloy tuloy ka parin?" He rebutted.

She felt so bad, it was a wrong move. She thought he would appreciate her effort to talk to him but it went the other way around.

"Sorry. Gusto ko lang naman makapagexplain sa'yo." She apologized. "Hindi naman ako humihingi ng explanation sayo." He retorted. "Gusto ko lang linawin—"

"Gusto mo? Gusto mo. It's always about you. Di mo ba naisip na dahil nandito ka nagugulo nanaman ako?" He interjects ending it with a fake chuckle. "Eh, kelan ka nga ba nagkaroon ng pakielam sakin?" He pretended to laugh.

"May pakielam naman ako..." she refuted. "Makinig ka naman saakin. Misunderstanding lang lahat. Hindi lahat pero karamihan." She followed as she figured out how to make him understand.

"Misunderstanding na pinagsabay mo kami ni Banal? Misunderstanding yung tinago mo yung gago saakin? Misunderstandig yung sabi mong wala na kayo tapos makikita ko kayong naghahalikan sa condo mo? Sus— Leni." He found her extremely ridiculous.

She was speechless, she was guilty of everything but she didn't know how to make him understand the story behind everything he saw, she didn't know how to make him believe that everything may be a lie except for the fact that he really mattered to her.

"Hindi naman kase ganon 'yon. Kung pinagdududahan mo ako sana wag mo naman pagdudahan yung pagmamahal ko sa'yo." She bargained.

His heart ached. "Leni, matanda na ako. Wala na akong oras makipagbolahan." He began.

"Naipit lang ako. Wala akong choice kung hindi magstay sakanya dahil ayokong mawala ka." She begged him to listen but it was hard for him to fathom the reason why she deceived him. "At ayaw mo rin mawala siya kaya sabay nalang kami? Ganon ba?" He retorted.

"Sasabihin ko naman talaga sa'yo eh. Nung araw na pumunta ako dito sa opisina mo, yun yung sumunod na araw tapos kong tapusin lahat ng meron kami ni Bolet. Dapat sasabihin ko na dahil ayoko nang magtago sayo, ayoko nang marinig mo sa iba kase nakapagdesisyon na ako na mas mahalaga saakin kung ano yung meron tayo. Kaya lang inunahan niya ako." She explained as vivid as she could.

"Bakit sa tinagal tagal natin hindi mo man lang naisip na sabihan ako tungkol diyan kay Banal? Bakit ngayon ka lang umamin kung kelan may naglaglag na." He grilled her, she felt so bombarded with his queries that it made the thoughts in her mind to clutter.

"Sorry, alam ko mali na nagtago ako kaya lang lagi akong nawawalan ng lakas ng loob at yun yung hinihingi ko ng tawad. Natakot ako masyado to the point na nagsinungaling ako sayo." She apologized sincerely but her explanation wasn't enough to relieve his broken heart.

"Kung sabihin ko sa'yo ngayon na sorry hindi na kita matatanggap kase takot na rin ako?" He rebutted using her choices of words. She ran out of words to tell him resulting into a deafening silence.

"Ayoko nang mapalapit sa taong sasaktan lang ako. Ayoko nang lumapit sa taong wala namang balak magtagal sa buhay ko." He continued interrupting the silence. He looked away as he felt weak seeing her.

"Kung masaya ka sa iba, kahit hindi man ako yan, okay lang. Life is short, bakit ko man pigilan maging masaya ka sa piling ng iba dahil lang hindi ako yon? Napakaselfish ko naman kung haharang ako." He faked a smile.

Leni couldn't speak as she felt so crushed — just as crushed as him. She felt so bad, hurting him was the least feeling she wanted to give him but she did.

"Pwede ka nang umalis." "Digong, please nama—" "Ayoko nang makita ka." He cuts her in with a force in his voice, she was astonished to hear it from him.

"Do your job as the vice president, tulungan mo yung mga tao, pero wag ka nang lumapit saakin. This should stop. Tama na ang laro. I want you out of my life." He stipulated leaving her with no choice but to just leave and move along.

He pointed at the door and walked towards his desk. She felt his seriousness with his statement. He no longer wants to fix things up, hence, he wants it to be over already.

"Digong, hindi ko kayang lumaban ng mag-isa, kailangan kita." She nearly cried hoping he would have a change of heart once he sees her struggle. He haltered and looked at her bleakly.

"Kayanin mo." He replied and went back to his work.

To be continued...

#series #six years #dubredo

[med-blahg]

2016 in review

I’ve never done anything like this before, and it might be a little too late? Ah, oh well. 2016 was a big year -- a year of my most extreme highs and lows, a year of many firsts (and surprising myself).

#Uncharted2016 - the UP MedChoir Europe tour

Of course, this one tops the list. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience -- we were able to travel 7 countries in a month and had the honor of representing the country in the international stage. The preparations, however, were the hardest we’ve experienced so far. Sobra ‘yung sakripisyo, minsan nakakadurog ng pagkatao. I don’t know if other people really understand how difficult it is to be a performer. I didn’t know where to get my strength anymore. I didn’t know if I wanted it enough. I wished I were more resilient (like my favorite tardigrades). On top of that, I had other personal issues to deal with too, which was dragging me down even further.

Strangely enough, winning wasn’t my most favorite part of the trip, probably because it was tainted with feelings of the worst rehearsal (and post-rehearsal events o h g o d) ever in my (and the other members’, apparently) stay with the choir.

Personally, the best parts were:

1. Being able to honestly do my best, and not leaving any regrets onstage. Iba ‘yung feeling. (Unfortunately, hindi ko pa ‘yun nararanasan ulit.)

2. Meeting the most wonderful and generous hosts who welcomed us into their homes and supported us all the way.

3. Successfully performing a challenging solo descant with relatively few preparations. It was given to me, I think, a week before we left the country. Lumipad na kami hindi ko pa rin siya nagagawa nang maayos. I felt so pressured because I knew the previous ones who did it were better than me. I was crying in rehearsals and during random times in UK because I still couldn’t do it days before the competition and I was terrified I will never be able to do it. One mistake and the whole performance, which everyone had worked incredibly hard for, would fail. Thankfully, by some stroke of miracle, things went just right during our debut concert; and in Italy, it was one of the pieces in the category which we won in. Imagine that: I was able to do that solo descant in the international competitive stage, and we won! This was a big reason why I cried out of joy upon hearing the good news. :) It could have been better, but I’m proud of myself already for conquering one of my biggest fears.

4. Being able to share our music with people, of all ages and from different parts of the world. Being reminded how music can sincerely change people -- how it can bring joy and make one dance; how it can move one to tears. For me, this is truly the best part of being a performer.

(I just realized it’s the first time I’ve written a long post about the tour haha)

Fell in love like it was the first time -- and got hurt like it was the first time too.

Ah, this blog is a witness to this, from the initial kiligs I couldn’t contain, to the incapacitating heartbreak at the end. He built me up, left me, and handled it so poorly, which was the part the hurt me the most. Of course, I wasn’t perfect either. Even so, I found it so frustratingly hard to move on. There were (are) times when I wanted to go back to the way things were, despite that “don’t go back to what broke you” advice. Then I had to remind myself that maybe I’m not really the one who can make him truly happy, and vice versa.

I remember feeling so much anger towards him, but I’ve moved past that and now I just want to reach out. He most likely also has problems of his own, and that’s probably a big factor for what happened between us. I just hope he’s okay.

Med school made more sense.

Gone (or lessened) were the days where I broke down in tears while studying (maybe because I cried for a different reason then hahahaha). The second semester of LU3 was miles better than the first. I was able to get higher scores in exams, and even got to be one of the toppers in the Neuro OSCE. I’m also enjoying LU4 way more than LU3, because of more interesting lessons, our group activities and hospital exposure.

I’ve grown to love our group dynamic. I love how we’re able to work together (most of the time!) despite OFS activities. I love how we’re able to honestly support each other when one is lacking. My favorite part is definitely integrating histories and discussing differentials after ward works where we’re finally able to apply the lessons we’ve learned. I also admire how stellar my friends are! I feel lost with the material sometimes and I just wanna be a sponge and soak up all their knowledge.

Besides application of classroom lessons, hospital exposure is also a great reminder of our purpose. On another note, it’s also an effective reminder of how shitty our healthcare system is. God, I swear I just want to make those public officials stay in PGH even for just one day so they can understand what both the patients and staff go through. But still, here we are, to serve and treat these people despite the system’s flaws.

Sometimes I’m really motivated to get my shit together and do my best for our modules, yet sometimes I just can’t. Sometimes it was because of my heartache, crying before exams (and making sad blogs oops) making me unable to study. Other times, however, I just found myself lurking in social media and waiting ‘til past midnight to start doing schoolwork. It was mainly for these reasons that my body clock got really weird in LU4, with 1-4 hours of sleep being normal on a regular school night (It was also partly because I didn’t have a roommate for many months -- for some reason, I lose my sense of time *and responsibility* when I’m alone).

Handled more responsibilities.

I’m the type who shies away from responsibilities mostly because I just hate disappointing others, and less because of the added workload. I’ve never been an officer for classes or organizations.

I still remember the private conversation I had with one of the choir officers while we were on a bus during the tour. He offered me the the finance head position. Before anything else, I warned him that I had no idea how to handle money. Bobo talaga ako sa pera. And he told me, okay lang. Ako rin naman dati (he was the previous fin head).

So, okay.

MedChoir is a very small organization anyway, and at one point I knew I was going to be given a position in the executive committee. It was bound to happen, so I just accepted it.

So far it’s been... okay. My predecessor has had much patience teaching me the ropes and working with me, which I’m very thankful for. However, I still get scared whenever we have meetings because I always feel like I will be asked of something and I wouldn’t be able to deliver. A semester has passed since and I know that I still have a lot to learn.

In addition, I was also one of the people assigned to lead the sopranos for the year’s TRP. This was also the case last year, but I was more into it this year because I really loved the song my batchmates have created. Furthermore, being part of MedChoir, it is also expected of us not only to teach singing techniques but also to be able to cover the rest of the batch during performances. It was difficult, especially since the song required much of sopranos, and it is hard to really teach how to sing, especially since these methods are very abstract. In addition, it was hard to expect much from some people who clearly had other priorities. However, we did feel that we were all working hard towards a common goal especially towards the end, and we won!

New house!

From Cainta to the mountains of Antipolo! It’s very different from our previous home. I love how it’s so quiet and peaceful up here, and you can see and hear different animals (seriously feeling one with nature haha). Of course, the view is also great. I also have my own room for the first time! Honestly I’ve been having a hard time sleeping in the same room as my family for some reason. My bed is so comfortable and whenever I go home here I just lie down all day, only bothering to get up to eat. Furthermore, I also like how this gives my family a new start, somehow. (Now, when we get stressed, we can at least get relieved by how nice the house and the surroundings are hehe.)

And other things.

Modeled and became a layout editor for the primer. This used to be my favorite kind of work during high school and I regret not doing it much after and developing my skills further. Doing this during med made me feel refreshed. :)

Research accomplishments. Going to biochem to help out after toxic pre-concert and pre-tour rehearsals, going home past midnight, and still surviving the remainder of LU3. It was actually fun, and getting to bond with my researchmates actually became a stress reliever. We also got to participate (and place) in several events like APMC and the BSGC in Malaysia!

Learned to do my brows!!!! And apply more dramatic lipstick!!!!!!! Yes of course this is a huge part of 2016 hehehehehe!!

Marathoned MMFF movies in the cinema, from 1pm ‘til midnight.

Got to perform on local TV and radio! (We were also featured in Llangollen television during the tour. Yay for my artista dreams.)

FRIENDS APPRECIATION -- I found that I really had true friends who are ready to pick me up from my lowest point. I love you guys!

Learned to stand up for myself. :) Even if I was crying during the confrontation, hehe. I feel like this is my biggest character development during the year.

What’s next for 2017?

I hate making resolutions (I remember the ones that made last year which was previously posted here and wow did I even do any of those?? 1/2 jk huhu) but this year I’m really inspired to:

1. Take care of my skin better. Yup, this was one of my main takeaways from our trip to Korea haha. I’ve been looking up their (at least) 10-step face routine and I want to try it!

2. Save up money for my next trip, so I wouldn’t have to ask much from my parents. I’m determined to do the reverse 52-week money challenge in P20 increments which will enable me to save up around P27,000 by the end of the year! I’ve even made a google sheets and everything so I really hope this pushes through.

Okay, those will have to do for now. The more I add, the more I feel like I won’t be able to do it, huhu. There are other things that I would like to try, though... like cooking (hey my family has a multi-purpose oven now), maybe act in MediScene if I like one of the roles, hosting?? Let’s see. :)

#2016 #medschool #medchoir #life

[dubredofanfics]

Six Years

Part 3 - One Petal Down

Leni was busy making the bed while thinking about her schedules for the day, Bolet hugged her from behind slightly surprising her.

"Oh? Bakit?" She asked. "Wala naman, I just want to hug you. Kailangan ba may rason?" He smiled. "Free ka ba bukas ng gabi? Dinner?" He invited her, she paused for a moment to think about her plans for the next day.

"Sige," she pursed a smile and gazed at him. He rested his chin on her shoulder as their cheeks touched.

"Mmm, sige na." She uttered after a moment of intimate silence. "Mag-aayos pa ako, may speech si Digong mamaya. Lumakad ka narin baka ma-late ka niyan." She brought up.

Digong walked up to the platform to begin speaking for the audience. Leni sat with the other staff and listened to him painstakingly.

Along his speech, it amused her to realize that he isn't very angry during his speech compared to his other talks, he seemed to be calm.

"... You know, I don't need your support. It's our country that needs your support. If you are going to support me, then you have to support my whole administration and our advocacies..." The audience nodded taking his point.

Leni continued listening to him, everything went normal until he began talking about her.

"Si Leni," he uttered slightly stunning her. "You have to support her, sus maryosep. I always, always hear you guys attack on Leni. She's my vice president, you have to understand that I need you to not only support me but support my vice president. She is my vice president." He couldn't highlight the possession even more. Leni smiled softly upon hearing him and as the crowd looked at her, they felt the sincere gratefulness in her face.

"If you're not going to support her then don't support me. Don't support my cabinet or my administration. It's useless. Stop pitting us against each other, it is not healthy. It is toxic." He followed making her feel even more relieved.

He felt that he was speaking to seriously, he had to change the mood somehow. "Di naman mahirap supportahan yan si Leni. Trust me. She is..." He had a second thought about continuing to speak, he blushed, the crowd laughed. He turned to Leni and smiled at her, she smiled back.

He turned to the audience once again with a smile on his face. "You know, ako nga nagustuhan ko siya, kayo pa ba?" He stated making the crowd cheer to tease. Leni blushed, her cheeks turned pink as she chuckled with them. "Aside from she is charming and beautiful, mabuting tao yan. Very lady-like, respectable so..." He hanged for a moment as the crowd made some noise upon hearing him describe her.

"... Support her. Support us." He lowkey asked for the crowd's support.

"Panalong panalo ka talaga kay pangulo, mam." Bong leaned over to whisper to her amidst the loud cheers from the crowd, she just giggled, she didn't know how to respond to it.

"Thank you," she mouthed and smiled at Digong. He resumed his speech until it was finally over. Leni immediately walked to him and thanked him as soon as he settled after entertaining the people in charge thanking him for his attendance.

"Thank you, sir." She gratefully thanked him with a slight bow. "Nagbow ka nanaman mam." He tapped her arm. "Ay," she uttered chuckling, she recalled how he didn't want her to be doing that to him.

"Thank you, sir." She repeated. "Thank you? You don't have to thank me. Totoo naman yung mga sinabi ko kanina. Those are facts." He replied, she felt so flattered.

They continued walking towards the exit of the venue, Digong finally had the guts to ask her what he has been wanting to ask her the whole time.

"Mam, are you free tomorrow?" He asked hoping she is. "Gabi siguro mam para tapos ng trabaho mo." He followed. "Invite sana kita for a dinner to unwind you lang." He continued, Leni felt so overwhelmed and honored to be invited by him.

"Sige po, sir. Basta hindi po nakakaabala sainyo okay lang saakin." She accepted. "Sus, you will never be a disturbance." He replied happily. "Pasundo ko nalang kayo sakanila mam. Sa bahay pangarap nalang para hindi masyadong eskandalo. Just a little dinner." He followed.

"Sige sir, kahit saan." She agreed. "See you tomorrow nalang po." She smiled at him before she bid goodbye.

Leni looked over the window of the van she was riding while reminiscing the words that Digong uttered to describe her, the words he used to convince the people to support her, it just makes her heart skip a beat, she felt so honored, it's weird but despite that he isn't the only person who talks about her that way, he has this ability to make her feel beautiful and very much appreciated.

Early in the morning the next day, Leni still couldn't move on over what Digong did. She blushed alone, she felt like a student being appreciated by her favorite mentor, it was very special. She couldn't stop thinking about the dinner she'll have with him that evening.

Nakakahiya. Ano kaya susuotin ko? Simple lang siguro, di naman maarte yun. May candles kaya? Ay ano ba yan, ang taas ng expectations ko.

Her daydreaming suddenly got interrupted when her phone vibrated on the table.

See you later, sunduin kita sa condo mo. Text me what time. :)

Her surroundings suddenly haltered in motion.

Hala, nagcommit na pala ako kay Bolet yesterday.

She recalled and as much as she wanted to go to both, she knew she had to choose one. She immediately called on Bolet attempting to humbly tell him that she might not be able to go.

"I have duties until late tonight tapos maaga ako bukas." She made up and excuse.

"Sayang naman, I reserved our dinner place tonight." He informed her with a slight hint of disappointment on his voice. "Saan ba yan? Ako nalang kakausap to cancel." She suggested. "It's actually a surprise. Pero kung hindi ka pwede ako na kakausap. I won't force you if you can't." He replied. She started to feel bad for him.

Naghanda siya ng surprise tapos i-cacancel ko.

She sighed in weight. "Hindi, wag." She stopped him as he was about to drop the line. "Ha? Bakit? What do you mean?" He asked out of confusion.

"Sige, I'll go. Gawan ko nalang ng paraan." She assured him bringing so much relief and happiness to him. "Really?" He uttered. "Oo, basta." She smiled from across the line. "Sige, you have no idea how much you made me happy." He replied. "Mmm... sige na. Mamaya nalang." She retorted. "Sige, text mo nalang ako kung pwede ka na sunduin." He replied before he hang up.

Leni exhaled sharply, she knew it's about time to make up an excuse to Digong.

It was early in the morning when Bong saw Digong lurking around the palace. It was kind of unusual to see him up early in the morning and he appeared to be in a very good mood.

"Aga yata natin ngayon ha?" Bong pointed out, Digong smirked. "Tapusin ko yung mga gagawin ko ng maaga ngayon para maaga matapos." He replied. "Bakit Digong? Anong meron? May pupuntahan ba kayo mamaya?" He asked.

"Eh..." He internally blushed before he spilled the beans. "Kain kami ng dinner ni Leni mamaya sa bahay." He couldn't help but smile just by thinking about taking her out on a dinner.

Bong Go was shook. He paused and looked at him, he didn't fing any trace of pranking. "Ang bilis natin umaksyon, Digong! Iba!" He enthused, Digong chuckled. He was excited to take Leni out on a dinner that isn't about work, he felt so eager for the day to end so that he could see her already.

He informed the cooks that he'll be having a dinner with Leni that evening and that he might need their assistance later that day as he wants to personally cook for her. Even the cooks were excited about the dinner as they always had a hint of Digong's admiration to Leni.

Leni rested her head on her palms as she gazed into the Ecuadorian rose that Digong gave her.

Ano na, Leni? 3PM na hindi mo parin nasasabi kay Digong na hindi ka makakapunta.

She scolded herself but she felt so bad as she didn't know how to even begin telling him about it. She felt so problematic, she didn't want to reject him but she had no choice.

She opened her phone and left her hand hanging atop the call button of Digong's name on her contacts.

Ano pang hinihintay mo? Tawagan mo na.

She directed herself like she was a lunatic.

"Okay," she exhaled-uttered. The line rang, Bong answered it for Digong. "Hello, madam." He picked up. "Hello? Digong?" She spoke.

"Si Bong po ito madam, abot ko lang kay Digong yung phone." He informed her, she finally saw a chance. "Ah, Bong. Wag na!" She stopped him. He paused and kept the phone on his ear.

"I-relay mo nalang siguro kay Digong yung sasabihin ko." She found it easier that way than to make herself talk to Digong himself. "Sige madam, ano ba yon?" He asked.

"Pasabi naman kay Digong na baka hindi na ako makapunta mamaya, may urgent call lang sa family." She stated, Bong began to feel bad upon hearing it, he knew how excited Digong was for that dinner. "Pasabi kamo na sorry, medyo biglaan lang kase." She followed. "Osige po, sabihin ko sakanya. Makakarating." He assured. "Thank you, thank you, Bong." She stated before she uttered her last words and dropped the line.

Now it's Bong's time to feel troubled on how to tell Digong about it. He didn't want to see his reaction as he was aware of how much he was looking forward to seeing Leni that evening.

"Digong," he called his name upon entering his office. "Oh? Ba't Bong?" He asked. "Tumawag po si madam Leni." He began, it thrilled Digong. "Oh, anong sabi? Nagpapasundo na ba?" He replied. "Hindi, Digong. Pinapasabi niya na di na raw siya makakapunta may urgent call daw sa family." He tried his best to relay it to him without disappointing him very much.

"Oh?" He uttered and glanced at his watch. "Sige, sabihn mo nalang doon sa dalawang cook na pwede na sila umuwi." He slightly diverted the subject and Bong didn't want to grill the disappointment he was concealing. "Sige, Digong." He nodded and left.

Digong rested his head's weight into his hand as he sat on his office's desk. He was really looking forward to seeing Leni for a dinner but it didn't happen. He just motivated himself that, there is still a next time, besides, her reason was valid.

It was 5:45PM, Leni has been sitting alone in her office doing nothing, she didn't know what she's waiting for but she has been sitting there thinking about Digong for over an hour already. She felt so bad for cancelling their dinner, she knew it was just the right thing to do but she couldn't explain why she's feeling so bad.

She stroked the glass container of the Ecuadorian rose he gave as she had his image at the back of her mind.

Only the sound of the airconditioning unit and the vehicles outside are heard inside her room.

"Sorry, Digong. May next time pa naman." She whispered alone in her quiet office. She finally stood up and draped her bag on her shoulder ready to leave. She turned off the light and shut the door close.

A petal of the rose fell in the midst of the dark cold room that she left.

#dubredo #rating pg #series #six years