#if anything im trying to make fun of a 13 year old emo girl writing a My Immortal esque version of their lore sdhjbfsdvjgbsfd

[snekdood]

ok so,my favorite emo-goth-punk-scene couple in the world has like. the most tragic backstory??? basically she was a girl, he was a boy, can i make it anymore obvious? she was a princess, he was a guy who lived in the woods, what more can i say. and they like totally fell in love? but like. the girls stupid crazy controlling dad was like really annoying about it all? he got all fussy bc the emo bf didn't know her dad was important enough to give him whatever respect he thought he was owed when they first met, so like ever since her dad has been against her cool edgy boyfriend with a snake tattoo and rides a badass motorcycle with a cow skull on it and went so far as to like. not even invite him or her to his party that he invited everyone else to, but she found out about it and decided to confront her dad but her dad was being a real dick about it and being super degrading to her and her boyfriend and being really shitty about it all and she was totally like "omg fine if you hate him then you hate me too!!!" and then she fucking killed herself by pouring gasoline on herself and setting herself on fire in front of them all?? it was like. one of the biggest and most saddest testimonies to her love for him. but then the sceneemopunk guy totally found out and became fucking furious and like went on a whole fucking rampage and started fucking killing people at the party for his gf and then literally took a chainsaw and cut off her dads head and totally took the corpse of his gf with him and cried under the moonlight holding her, it was like a scene in twilight or something. so like his friends come and calm him down and eventually convinced him to like totally heal and revive his gf's dad (oh yeah btw this is a supernatural fantasy story i watched on netflix so they can totally do that kind of stuff) and he did but thought it would be so so funny if he gave her dad a goats head to like rub it in since hes was always accusing them of being satanic for liking screamo and metal (listen parents!!! its not at all!!!). but then the emo guy went to jail for like 1000+ years (oh yeah also hes immortal and like super powerful and everything but he still has to abide by the laws n stuff bc like....., they might be punk but like. that doesnt mean you get to avoid the law and stuff?) but in that time his gf totally resurrects into this cooler more badass version of herself and he finally gets out on parole and she finds him but hes like. sooo traumatized by being in prison and like basically dissociating from life bc he spent the entire time in there alone in the dark in his thoughts basically and he doesnt recognize her like at all and starts to just go through the motions of life ignoring everything and everything is like grey and boring now for him and he does the same thing every day and then one of his old friends comes along to talk to him about his gf but the emo bf gets like? really really angry for no reason?? and like. totaaally shoots a lazer beam into his friend (oh yeah he can do that too he has a lot of cool powers like that like fire powers and lightning powers n stuff) and then goes back to being like a drone basically?? but his friends gf convinces him to revive his friend he just killed for no reason too and then they obviously stopped being friends bc what the fuck?? but he was probably still just really sensitive about the subject and just didnt wanna talk about it ig. so his gf like. decides to enter into his dreams and communicates with him that way instead and then he totally realizes its his gf and they totally fall in love again and get married bc fuck her dad and also she was resurrected into a body of a different girl anyways so its not even her dad anymore but her new mom is kinda weird about her bf but its fine as long as he comes to her special dinners wearing a tuxedo for her and covers up his snake tattoos.. ...

#ok thats all i can do vhjsdvhgsdghvksdhvgkvshgjdvghj #im so sorry ive subjected you to this sdhjvfshvgdfvghsdghvf #damn shiva y r u so toxic sdhjfbsghdfgvhsdhgfhvgsd #i mean thats basically it right? #told from the perspective of an emo teen at least sdhjbfhjvsdfhvgsgdhfhgvsd #i deleted the hindu memes tag bc i dont want the wrong type of person to read this and think that im being disrespectful or smthn #i love him hes literally my ishwara ok #if anything im trying to make fun of a 13 year old emo girl writing a My Immortal esque version of their lore sdhjbfsdvjgbsfd #i will add it again later when i think ppl have forgotten about it...sdhjbfdshgj

[cloutbait]

i’ve played the sims since 2007. its been a huge creative outlet for me and a way to work through different thoughts and feelings i’ve had for over half my life. i thought itd be fun to look at some of the different content i’ve made over the years and talk a lil about how much its changed and how much ive changed in conjunction with that

theres no way this isnt gonna be super dam long, srry in advance

2010-2011

i was 12-13 and had been playing sims for about 3 years. i watched a lot of teen drama sims series that made me wanna get into video editing. once ts3 came out, i made a channel with my childhood friend and we’d stay up til like 3 AM making ts3 music videos. i was an emo binch so it was all like cringey vampire stuff. my biggest inspo in this period was probably jaydee227′s badass music videos and noojim’s Life of Rose series that still slaps to this day

2012-2013

2012 was a big year in that i figured out how to torrent sony vegas and every second of my free time was spent editings MEPs (multi editor project) i tried to make some sims series but hardly ever got past episode 1 each time. it was a fun year tho, full of content i’m still kinda proud of.

my biggest inspo was 3WordsArentEnough’s Stealing Heaven and Foreverloudx’s Seeking Harmony (he once commented on one of my videos and i was so excited i cried)

2013-2014

ok so cringe alert: i first joined tumblr in 2013. and it became my whole life; i was quoting the jokes, i was watching all the fandom show, i even read homestuck, just to put the icing on the cringe cake. i hadn’t done anything i was rlly passionate about in a while and was starting to get the lonely teen blues, so i needed a project. i made this rlly elaborate plan for a sims series about a girl travelling the world to meet all her tumblr friends. planning sucked up all 2013, and i never got past editing the intro.

2015

by 2015, i hadn’t done anything with sims for a while, and it really bothered me that something i cared so much about was just becoming a part of my distant past. i decided that the issue was i was trying too hard to emulate other ppl’s creations, so i decided to make something i wanted to make, unlike anything else ive seen. i planned it out for months, writing a complex world with detailed lore. and i still didn’t get past editing the intro.

BUT!! i did learn something important that is main reason why im still a part of the sims community today; sims is fuckin limitless, man. all the content that i’ve been wanting to see in traditional media but knew would never happen, i could just CREATE. this project rlly helped me through the feelings of nihilism, feeling like a burden, and internalized homophobia that i was feeling at the time, and i still think about it a lot.

2016

in 2016, i started a private sim story blog, where i’d write sims stories without the pressures of an audience. i wrote two stories there, one about a failing college campus tv show and another about a vampire throuple raising a 200-year old agender vamp kid together. i’m rlly proud of them and i still go back every few months to re-read them, if not just for the lines above.

2018

once i gained a lil confidence with photo-editing, i decided to just peep a lil into simblr and see if i could make a couple friends. i didn’t expect it to become such a big part of my life, but it v quickly did. i met some amazing people, started making cc, and just lived my dam best life. i think i started taking it way too seriously tho and it just became p stressful. i also missed creating content for just myself, so i decided to delete. i dont rlly regret that tbh, but i dont regret all the fun experiences i had on there either!

after about a half a year break, i started getting into editing CAS screenies again. then i started collecting pics of stuff i wanted to make into CC. coming back on a new blog seemed like a good idea, tho i decided that i would just make it a hobby this time around, and wouldn’t guilt myself for taking breaks when i want to.

so that brings me to now! lots has changed over the years, but sims has been a nice constant in my life. not sure what the 2020′s r gonna hold, but im glad to be able to have a creative outlet i can use like this!!

#i have absolutely no idea what to tag this as #sims lookback #it was a wild ass journey making this #lots of laughs and a lil emotional too #its also so funny that i still cant follow through with my projects #i rlly felt that

[tempestshakes01]

happy and anxious. 

happy because i love my apartment and i love Lil Cup of Joe. he is a terror and the sweetest boy ever, and i feel so much love for him. this is why i can’t be around an animal for an extended period of time. i will die for any creature i get attached to and lil joe is now my baby. 

but i am anxious because i put of working when my brother brought home a puppy. he didn’t ask me to, but he’s an idiot who’s never home and bought a puppy to make him come home. i gave him 3 days and when his habits didn’t change, joe was being left alone and untrained, and i needed a running buddy--well, i took over. joe’s now potty-trained and knows a few (one) command. i take him everywhere to socialize him. he’s mine. but i’ll never say that to nick. who still needs to go therapy. i don’t know him. i don’t know what goes on in that head of his. it’s like we switched personalities in our 20s. i went from the quiet, serious type to basically a manic 13 yr old boy. he went from a wildly charismatic clown to a brooding hipster. what makes him laugh? what is he thinking? what is he passionate about? how does he talk to other ppl for hours but he can barely speak to his family for more than half of one? what did we do?

i got really angry the other night thinking about the fights i’ve had with my parents this past year. 

1) washington d.c. - mom and i got into to it in front of the fuckin white house at dusk. i was so emotional and upset at being there, right there where trump fucks over our country, and my mom was being...well, the woman fox news molded. i was furious and trying to keep it nice, so i asked if we could just stop. stop talking. i was gonna blow up. and my mom was like, “why do we stop when you say stop, but when i ask to stop, you continue?” which...is it true? i didn’t think so, and because i can’t keep my mouth shut, i argued until i walked away. i walked into the crowds and then i kept walking. i kept walking. i kept walking.  

it was terrible. i texted her “i’m gone” and i left. 

i forgot the details but i wandered that area of d.c. got a coffee. tried not to cry. and then...remembered how much trouble my mom’s phone was giving her, that her gps apps weren’t being accurate, that she wasn’t confident at the metro, and that it was now dark. that she was alone in an unfamiliar city with a camera bag strapped to her screaming “i’m a tourist!” 

i felt like utter and complete shit. it was one of the most despicable things i’ve ever done. later, i told some people and they were like “she’s a grown woman! you were both upset!” but no. i can’t make excuses like that. i knew that my mom was scared. i burst into tears. a crazy sobbing girl in the middle of d.c. i immediately texted her and told her to get back to me when she got to the hotel. 

an hour later, back at the hotel, my mom couldn’t even look at me. couldn’t speak to me. i knew i had to apologize and i did, wording it carefully because i walking on a minefield. i again blocked out most of the conversation, but it quickly dissolved into a mess of confessions. i was wrecked. at first because of what happened, but as our conversation turned into an argument, i became furious again. over how she interpreted some of our interactions. over how i “blamed” her for my anxiety and anger. i told her i got my anger from her. that i was slow to it like my father, but when something lit inside me it burned bright and hot and deadly like her. that her grudges and cold shoulders hurt me so, so badly when i was a kid (which she then explained wasn’t a grudge, just her processing her anger...but that was way, way into the night). oh god, it was so bad. so bad. she confessed how she felt about all us kids. told me about her problems with andi and nick. told me she wanted to move away from us. told me she didn’t want a relationship with me or them if it was going to be like this. 

i didn’t sleep. just cried and cried. like i did when i was a kid. sobbed in the bathroom and then under my covers. we barely talked the next day, but it slowly became okay. i didn’t know how to explain how much i loved her, so i tried to show her.      

in the end, we were ok enough. 

2) driving 30 hrs across the country - my dad and i were talking and he told me how he didn’t get us, and that we were hurting mom by rejecting her or something. he was upset and my dad doesn’t get upset, so i got upset and moody. and he was like “why are you like this? just with me? just with us. you’re so cruel.” and i knew it was true but it still took me an hour to snap out of it. and i apologized. 

--

but i feel sometimes angry bc i got the emo dump from both my parents. about both my siblings! and they don’t even talk to them about it! my parents don’t even touch nick anymore! they leave him alone because it’s easier that way and he wouldn’t listen even if they tried to talk to him! and my sister would get super huffy and feel judged and act out in some way and take the kids! so. i get it but i hate it!!! because i got the feelings dump! i got the tears and the hours of psychoanalyzing why we are the way we are! and i hate that i feel burdened by it sometimes?

 i want to be there for my parents but sometimes i’m that petulant child that still wants a mommy and daddy, not two parents who are human and exist with their own emotional life. and that’s so unfair to them and wrong of me, but i feel that way because i’m the child that gets this brunt of this side of them.  

but it’s because in my own way im the most difficult and this shit spills out when i push them. 

--

my parents (mostly mom) are only getting more set in their ways and defensive of their opinions. my mom...my mom who taught me so much about art and the world and appreciating different cultures and music and lived life with such vigor and wonder...i can see that fading and hardening. she’s stubborn about what she like and doesn’t have much interest in anything new. she’s offended and hurt when i gently bring up her how she used to be. 

my dad’s always been this way. very traditional, but kind. spoiled, but hardworking. likes what he likes. but he’s eating more greens. he’ll try what i make because i made it. we listened to latino usa and old radio lab podcasts that whole drive from wa to tx, and he loved it, and we discussed the episodes. and i loved him so much because he gave them a shot and we connected. 

but my mom. my mom. i miss her and she’s right there, but she’s not. and i know i’m part of the reason she’s retreated into herself and her more ‘sturdy’ beliefs and the friends who share them. she’s so quick to judge and harsh about it these days. is it age? is it us? is it this horrible world?

--

i came home to this. i came home and how quickly people change bc i didn’t expect my mom to be so old. in spirit. she’s tired. she doesn’t trust me. we’re working on being gentle. i’m working on not being so quick to anger.

my dad and i...i’m thrilled we’re getting along so well after i treated him like shit during the ~separation years~ between my parents. i was awful to him and he knew why, but he never called me out on it. 

my sis and i are fine. i’m so relieved she got out of that last relationship with that TERRIBLE PERSON and came to her senses, and somewhat grew up. we kick it. she cooks for me. we don’t completely jive cause she’s hood, but can code-switch between worlds, and i’m suburban through and through, so i’m not as cool or smooth as she is. i’m her dorky weird little sister and i appreciate her love for me. 

my brother? a mystery. a complete mystery. 

and i’m reminded of how he called me on my birthday and started weeping and asking about therapy and saying he’s sorry he never believed in my anxiety because it’s true--you don’t ask for, you don’t know why it appears, and it wrecks you. and he deals with it now for no discernible reason and he sounded so, so broken over the phone that i was shaking and crying when we hung up.

but now he’s as chill as ever and takes minimal care of his puppy because the 1st dog he got was pretty hands-off from the jump, but she was grown and pooed and peeded everywhere for months (he says no, but that’s selective memory), so now lil joe is mine and i need to get a job because the lack of structure is killlllllllllllllingggggg me. but i don’t want to leave lil joe :( 

--

it’s funny how i never set out to write all this shit, but it comes spilling out. 

huh. wait.

i left and i worked on myself but then i missed my family.

did i come back to work on the family? to work on my relationship with them? is that my purpose here and why i felt compelled to return?

--

went climbing with GA. i was totally afraid of falling and bouldering isn’t as fun to me as top rope, but i wanna keep at it. 

trying to set something up with B and A. my buds. i love em. 

gotta set something up with L because I have a feeling we’ll be good friends here. and weirdly, BG contacted me even though I haven’t talked to him since college? and even then we weren’t that close. he was just inching toward asking me out and never managed it.

--

fav emmy looks: zendaya (obviously. omg, whatta babe), maisie williams (whatta look, suits her perfectly, killed it), gwen christie (whatta jesus babe), that girl in the billowing mint green dress, anddddd clea duvall (a babe in a tux). 

vm continue to make me sad and hopefully things go well with tour for them. it’s nice to see them getting along with charlie and tanith. with bby charlie and tati and max’s kid coming along...oh boy for scott’s emotions. he’s gonna ignore the HELL out of those sad feeling for what couldvebeen with tess and he’s gonna plan hard for his and j’s future offspring instead. (can i also predict that i think one thing scott’s gonna have trouble with in his marriage--oddly enough--is keeping the marriage a partnership and not bulldozing over his spouse with his wants and needs ...wait, that’s not odd lol) 

--

anyway, gotta take joe out to pee. gotta get to bed soon because i wanna be on the trails by 7am and then maybe to the climbing gym. this face maybe a potato but my body can improve! (i’m thicc at the moment thanks to texas food 🤧) 

#miranda this is your life

[dirt-mccracken]

answer all the numbers

[loveg1rl-remade]

write short descriptions of your favourite mutuals/friends and then tag them (but not next to their descriptions) and try to make them guess which one is theirs!

i did two parts bc i did a lot of ppl! ppl are tagged in alphabetical order dfjskfn also i hope y'all can guess your number 🚶🚶🚶

p1. 

@01bri @1aju @1oveful @2blushy @chanilovehours @doyoung @fruittxt @himlo @jenolees @junghwasgf

01 - omg we were JUST talking today… we always hit each other up for drama its p funny sjdfksldj i love hearing them talk just in general. they have a lot of good energy and it makes me happy that they like me enough to like. willingly hit me up i think thats really cute and i love that… also theyre always going to concerts and i think thats really cute i hope they hve a really good time :( they always have my back n i love talking to them !! angel 

02 - my sweetheart!!! they’re really the funniest we used to talk ALL the time before school started :( i miss them a lot but honestly i love when they spam me with notifs :’) jsdfkjsd i remember when we first met n we talked about divergent and the bts visual novel it was HONESTLY really iconic… they’re a year under me but honestly it feels like we’ve known each other for a while !! they have a lot of love in their heart and their love for a certain few ppl (starting w t) is so sweet :( i love how we both procrastinate and stay up until like 2 for everything anyway ily and i miss u! 

03 -  omg.. i feel like they’re my younger sister… i really don’t deserve such a ray of sunshine! whenever i’m down they always send me the sweetest asks and messages and once they even told me abt their day out of nowhere i just thought that was really cute :( they’re ALWAYS cheering me on and it is really really sweet !! they make me rlly happy nsdfkjsd even just seeing their asks that start with “GIRL!!!” yea :’) they’re the brightest star w the cutest personality

04. we talked for like four hours about grapes once and that’s how we became friends… uhh i love them a LOT !!! they are really so kind and supportive and we get along really well?? they have a callout list for me kjdfdsf honestly we have a lot of inside jokes and it’s really cute. they changed my opinion abt taureans (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE BY NOW .. ) and i just love how we can talk about anythin????? also your sleep schedule is SUPER screwed up but its chill bc that means we can talk more ndfkjsdkf i love you angel !! 

05. i will LITERALLY never forget the time i was feeling like absolute SHIT and they took the time to write out like an ESSAY for me and it’s saved and screenshotted and immortalized forever in my heart it really meant a lot for someone to like. take the time out to do that for me and im so grateful…we don’t even post the same content anymore but they always interact w my posts and check up on me and send me asks… i love them a lot lot lot! on my old blog they’d send me the cutest asks too im grateful and lucky to have them in my life :’) 

06. they know who they are !! my one n only!! we talk every single day and somehow they don’t get sick of me which is a feat in of itself. super creative and caring and empathetic and strong and selfless and just? a really good person. they have the biggest heart and the most love to give. they’re also really hard on themselves :( my biggest cheerleader n the love of my life.. if you haven’t figured out who you are yet i’ll send jeno over to talk some sense into you (*tell you he loves you)

07. soooo soft :( everything about them is soft!! they hav a lot of love for a certain bunny boy and they’re always always tagging ppl in things i think it’s so unbelievably kind. they’re always spreading kindness and joy and is such a ray of sunshine!! i really really lov them a lot ! 

08. o man where do i start?? they’re really full of a lot of love… they’re always love posting abt their best friend and that really makes me so happy that they have such a positive good person in their life… anyway we always send each other cute asks periodically to check on each other & we’re always helping each other out when we go through emo moods… anyway they’re applying to college at the same time i am and i remember stressing out abt it with them but i KNOW we’ll both be fine i lovve them :’)

09. seriously a big source of support for me even if we don’t talk on the daily!! they always have really good advice to give and even when like. No Advice Can Be Given they’re always lending an listening ear. they’re really cute i love how mature they are !! besides giving rlly insightful n thoughtful advice.. uh they’re just a rockstar! they’re a little bit younger than me but they always try their best and help others out and it’s really admirable. plus they said they love making playlists and i just thought that was the cutest thing :/

10. we haven’t had a lot of conversations together but theyre really just the sweetest :( ever :( i was going through a hard time n they sent me so many sweet asks and messages. its always nice to know there are ppl who care abt u and this person is just SO caring in general!! they’re always tagging ppl in sweet things and doing their best and it is much appreciated !! much like their name they rlly are. the best and the brightest

– 

p2. 

@kimjunnoodle @lazy-gudetama @pastelunnie @rapgodkth @rosehyuck @snowedjin @taehn @taeilsgrl @taeyyongs

11. UGH another sweetheart … they’re always sending me the sweetest long asks checking up on me and they’re always interacting n communicating and talking abt stuff they’re passionate abt it i really love it ?????? i miss talking to them !! they would send me the cutest dog pictures :( i always see them around spreading love and happiness and warmth .. they have a lot of love and compassion in their heart. i always look forward to their asks and replies!!

12.  my EVERYTHING!!!! i saw their selfies like yesterday n they rlly knocked my socks off imagine being so pretty!!!! they are really an icon it was so cute talking to them abt our wedding :/ they’re a lot of fun they go from super soft to super funny and like, theyre either loveposting or talking about furries i think its the funniest thing ever. anyway they’re a total sweetheart n the best hyuck stan so yeah ! i love love

13. omg …. they’re SO considerate they’re always tagging me in those “associate ur mutuals with” posts and it’s honestly really cute ??? they have my kidneys and my left lung and my Whole heart :( the biggest sweetest tae stan ! super sweet and lovely and funny !!! we don’t talk a lot but i’m always cheering them on behind the scenes!! they always interact w my not funny stupid posts and hype me up theyre just. really great to be with and im grateful to b mutuals 

14. i’ve known you the longest!!!!!!!! i have all ur jk fics saved omg :( you’re the sweetest bean and i love talking to you.. even tho we don’t talk on the regular anymore it’s always so sweet hearing from you and i love how we always update each other when smthing important happens in our lives!!!! i love watching the videos u send ur voice is rlly the cutest n i remember the first tme i heard it i started crying anyway i still have your christmas card saved and i love you a whole freaking lot im still waiting to go on a date with u :( my tall gf

15. UH we literally talk and just. gush over how cute girls are …. jsfdasdf we ALWAYS tell each other beef no matter what sfjdsk they really have such a caring n chill personality. we think alike so it’s really nice telling them abt things i need help with because i always get a good second perspective on it… they’re always here to listen to me (even late at night when they have work the next day)… they’re a bit like my older sister i trust them a lot !! i really love how they always update me on things even tho i SUCK ass at messaging so :) anyway i love them a lot (move to california sooner!) 

16. one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i’ve ever met. memes are iconic and every single conversation we have i always manage to laugh bc their comedic timing is amazing and yea they’re just an all around great person. they’re my movie buddy and we can also really talk abt anything??? like we’re super comfortable around each other which is super cool n i’m grateful. we can talk for hours n hours … and yeah .. they’re also super sweet and always support me through everything! we have a lot of inside joke its cute & i’m glad i met this person i really am :’)

17. hdfsfn.. really. they really own my heart.. honestly i couldn’t have asked for a better mutual???????? they are Top Tier quality one of kind…they have like thousands upon thousands of followers and they always always promo me … im so undeserving of their love… AND AND THEY ALWAYS SEND ME ASKS …. even when like. im being annoying and ask stupid questions no one wants to answer they always write out a whole paragraph and it makes my WHOLE world ten times over im so grateful for them … i have the strawberry emoji on like all of their asks bc i want to keep all of them thats how much i appreciate the time n effort they show me … wrow… the cutest and best ever i love them a LOT! 

18. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re so motherly to me …. they’re always looking out for me and making sure i’m doing ok and i think that’s just the sweetest best thing ever :( they’re really sweet n pretty AND funny i always love seein their posts… they’re one of my few exo mutuals and i LOVE IT ! I LOVE THEM! they are sosososo soft their tags for their man are really the cutest too… they’re one of those mutuals who switch from loveposting to toesucking and it’s the best and funniest i love them! once i was sick n they sent me like two asks making sure i was ok and . wrow. i couldnt have asked for anyone better

19.  mMmMmMm i remember i thought they hated me and then it turns out they didn’t and i was SO relieved bc they’re so sweet and funny and :( just a really great person. they did a lil astrology analysis for me and it was so spot on i’d trust them with my life and my savings and my posterity…. uhhh they have a heart of gold they’re always looking out for others and trying their best n it’s really admirable. they also have such a good sense of humor!! a treasured mutual who owns my heart :( 

#jaskfjfaskd. i spent a while on this #anyway! if something is messed up just tell me i copied and pasted a lot of stuff #textpost #ask #anon #mutuals