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#if you read the tags kudos to you! i never know who does or doesnt lmao but if you do
luca---paguro · 7 months
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hehe doodle of the fish,,,
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wtfock fic recs part 2
saddle up for pt 2 babyyyy
wtfock fic recs pt 1
the underrated (just read them trust me they're brilliant)
wishing, wanting and longing by dottori
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart by orphan_account This isn't our first time around by noobishere this is us, through your eyes by dottori - with yasminas season starting id like to draw everyones attention to this fic from yasminas pov its sweet and sentimental and lovely and the fact that it has under 100 kudos is a fucking crime Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) by berrevy - i love this author so much and this fic is so good, i love the way they're written here, the description is beautiful, 10/10 A morning without you is a dwindled dawn by Createdforyou - so soft i love seeing them just living their lives together Elayna Aan Zee by zetaphiuchi(ryuujitsu) - this one is sad and maybe sander forgives too quickly but its beautifully written and i love it you're an angel in disguise (you're an angel in my eyes) by thekardemomme - this is so sweet and lovely and warm everyone should read it I do now. by irregardlxss - robbe tells jens about the hate crime dreaming of you by ivy_seas - just them being happy at christmas time hold all my cliches on the tip of my tongue by nbrook - they're dorks and they're too horny for their own good but they love each other very much i've never been in love (but i wanna be, i wanna be) by ladypeaceful - what if sander took noors place at the party in episode 1 we have the stars (and this is given once only) by merengue - military au but also childhood friends and its so soft and beautiful and they love each other so much Agents Sliding Down The Chimney by berrevy - i seriously cannot recommend berrevy enough this is a christmas fic thats a little sad but also a whole lot sweet and very real which is what i like
angst bby
I follow you (deep sea, baby) by emotionalgoblin - sander pines in my mind, in my head by cubedmango - canon divergence for s3 last two episodes
gonna help you be free, honey by lamourestout - aftermath of the hate crime
We're always gonna be contaminated by nbrook - sander fucked upppp and everyone is sad but they communicate so its fine
the night we met by themoongirl - college au, sad boys :(((
show me some stars (beneath this ceiling) by peaceoutofthepieces - five times robbe wishes he could wake up next to sander and one time he does You're always there for me by nbrook - the s4 car accident aftermath (don't want anything) but all of you by MajorAccent - s4 car accident but extra extra angsty i know someone who kisses the way (a flower opens) by romantiser robbe and sander see each other again after sander paints the mural
sander and robbe being so in love it hurts
he is the one by themoongirl - marriage proposal im soft
I'm holding my breath, as the seasons change by bruisingknees - robbe moves out of the flatshare
new year's eve by themoongirl - sander is sad but robbe is soft
all you never say by nothingbutniall - fluffffff
you're the one that i want by themoongirl - sander needs reassurance
dark paradise by luckycharmz - sander is coming out of a low and robbe takes care of him
i was grounded (while you filled the skies) by wafflesofdoom - theyre in love okay
If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance by allforyoumylove - theyre childhood friends and theyre in love
oh my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight by alsjeblieft - sander painting robbe
Early Morning Dancing by teen_content_queen - flatmates dance in the morning v v cute
(inside my head) I've been at war by nothingbutniall - they're so soft pls
The sun came up and I was looking at you by allforyoumylove
Baby, Home Is In Your Arms by clarecas - robbe comes home to sander after his exam
don't be scared, you are my rock by peaceoutofthepieces - sander is sad but robbe is there purple lips (underwater) by dottori - fluff so much fluff i love it sm
in all your gorgeous colors by nothingbutniall - sander paints robbe you're still the that i love (the only one i dream of) by thekardemomme - i couldve also put this in the angst category but they just love each other so much its so beautiful My darling, I'm rooting for you by allforyoumylove - sander is having a depressive episode and robbe loves him fully formed, ready to run by MajorAccent - sander is down and robbe just wants to be with him paper rings by thekardemomme - they love each other so much and theyre going to get married one day i've always wanted a (boyfriend) by thekardemomme - christmas is sanders favourite holiday and robbe doesnt love christmas but he loves sander Come lie with me by allforyoumylove - they're roommates but they cuddle and fall in love glimpses by foxsake5 - theyre just living their lives, being in love, as they should
boyfriends being boyfriends
I absolutely adore you but we're absolute beginners by nbrook - sander is adorable
boy, i fucking got you by noobishere - yeah its rated e but its so sweet okay
Lovesick by szamsson - sander picks robbe up from school
you're a wonder under summer sky by nothingbutniall - boyfriends go camping
memories painted with much brighter ink by nothingbutniall - Christmas gift giving at the flatshare
we're keeping it simple by noobishere - eenvoud babyyyyy
Meet me in the hallway by nbrook - ahsdka Milan
double date. by fockinglevendcliche - double date with amber and aaron
back to the beach house. by fockinglevendcliche - sander wants to get it on and robbe is weak but their friends are assholes
take me with your constant shame by peaceoutofthepieces - cute date hold me close by sincerelysobbe - robbe is stressed and sander is the best boyfriend you charge me up (like electricity) by howlingsaturn - secret boyfriends if you say swim by soundnvision - another date another pool Modern Love by angelboygabriel - okay yes this is e rated but their. boyfriends and they're happy they're just also horny mkay You make me feel like I am whole again by nbrook - robbe has a rough day but sander is there being all cute and making it better I've been looking so long at these pictures of you by nbrook - much banter very cute You're my favourite kind of night by nbrook - at a halloween party finally kissing the right people Show me a piece of your heart, show me a piece of your love by nbrook - boyfriend tag for the broerrrs channel, unfinished but so much fun thus far working double time by noobishere - sander is wearing a turtleneck and he looks hot in it Ground Control by angelboygabriel - christmas clinging and sex because why not oh and they're in love hopeless romantics by thekardemomme - it's their anniversary and ugh they love each other sm sander driesen versus a mistletoe by dottori - its christmas and sander just wants to fucking kiss robbe okay high for this by flowermaze - sander is drowsy and still finds time to flirt with robbe All You've Got to Do Is Win by berrevy - they actually do play that tennis match years kept in minutes by peaceoutofthepieces - they have traditions and its adorable pls love is the opening door by cryingcancer - robbe and sander facetime on their anniversary after sander was sappy on instagram Home by foxsake5 - sander is a massive simp and robbe looks hot in a robe You don't have to say you're mine by nbrook - robbe is a little insecure and sander is there to reassure him Distracting by sincerelysobbe - v v v cute jahsdjah sander is weak for robbe we all understand bro February 14th, 2021 by foxsake5 - no words bro just cute af if we can make it through december (maybe we'll make it through forever) by nothingbutniall - sobbe at the christmas market This = Love by nbrook - robbe is hungover and sander loves to tease him They ain't living life like this by Createdforyou - halloween but this year they're together
sexy times
Woensdag 16:36 by Anonymous
i don't even wanna fuck, i just like you by eversincewefellapart
Vrijdag 18:26 by Anonymous - hurt and comfort
video phone by tokyometropolis(mesohorany) - quarantine times
Don't know where I'm going from here (but I promise it won't be boring) by skamsnake
snakebite by Anonymous
Zaterdag 09:58 by foxsake5
Wildfire by sincerelysobbe - no smut just kissing but they steamy
come on (mess me up) by MajorAccent - sex but tender 🥺
The Teenage Trifecta by little_but_fierce
i glow pink in the night in my room (blossoming alone over you) by midsummernightoddity
life is a pop of the cherry by icedwhitemocha - the hotel
Ik Win by Anonymous
In his arms tonight by allforyoumylove
long may he reign by tokyometropolis(meohorany) - well considered smut jsdhjhd
Draw Me Closer by skamsnake
When I live my dream (please be there to meet me) by skamsnake
we click, we go boom! by strangeparties Dark Red by nancy_mcfly - friends with benefits play the game of grown-ups by Anonymous - they have a lot of sex but its because they're in love
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justlightlysedated · 3 years
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20 Questions
20 questions, writer's edition, I was tagged by @lambourngb 😊❤❤
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
71! 70 for roswell and one for vagrant queen
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
468, 583!!
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
not entirely sure tbh, but let's count now:
timkon, bandom, glee, specifically pukurt, but some other ships too, merlin, doctor who, torchwood, teen wolf, agents of shield, runaways, the old guard, vagrant queen, and obviously, roswell new mexico
i think there might be more, but i don’t remember rn
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
the cost of greatness, which i cowrote with marlo
a cure i know that soothes the soul (does so impossibly), the first pwp i wrote for this fandom lol
the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger, which i wrote for marlo
for better or for worse (til death do us part), which i also cowrote with marlo lol
it might be your wound but they’re my sutures, which i also wrote for marlo
so the pattern im sensing here is that my most popular fics were written with/for marlo which sounds about right lol
5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
i am not sure tbh, i write some pretty angsty one shots and longer fics, but i TRY to at least give a slightly hopeful ending, tho now that i’m thinking about it, i think the angstiest thing i’ve written was that prompt fill based on the song, for island fires and family, i remember SOBBING the entire time that i wrote it (there is miluca in that one), but ALSO there is the fic i wrote in reaction to the season one finale, which also made me cry, which was called, we both know how this story ends
6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
once again i’m not sure, like i said before, i try to give my fics hopeful endings if they’re really angsty, and i love me some hurt/comfort, but i’m not entirely known for writing happy, fluffy fics, tho i do TRY sometimes for certain people
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?
yes!! i do love me some crossovers, and i guess i would have to say the malex, sort of doctor who au, i’m technically still writing for tove
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes??? but i’m not sure if i could classify it, like i’ll write pretty much anything within reason and if it doesn’t squick me out
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
okay, so like don’t hate me, but no, i rarely, if ever respond to comments, i just don’t know what to say at all, like i’m the type of person that really wants every single message to be unique and special, but there are only so many ways to thank someone for reading your fic, so i just tend to post things and then thank everyone for reading afterwards, if there is someone that shows up often on my notifications, or if someone asks me a specific question pertaining to the story, then i will answer, i also answer back if i wrote the fic for someone and they left a comment, and if i’m sent an ask on here about something that i wrote, but i am simultaneously the world's most shy and confident person ever, when it comes to my writing, so i’m so sorry
this doesnt mean that i dont appreciate every comment that i get because i really do, im just super shy and awkward and i may write good-ish, but i do NOT have the same way with words in person
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not really?? if i have i don’t remember it, usually i’m the one who talks the worse about my own writing
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, the only kurtbastian fic i’ve ever written was translated into russian
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yep!! as y’all probably saw from my top five fics up there somewhere, marlo @bestillmyslashyheart is basically my fic writing soulmate, we just really click when it comes to writing
14. What's your all time favourite ship? to write for?
atm it’s malex, which is more than obvious, BUT before they hijacked my brain and made their home within my neurons, it was skimmons!!! i wrote fic for them for YEARS, even after i stopped watching aos
15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i’m just gonna talk about fics that i’ve posted and haven’t updated and not any of the hundreds of wips that have never seen the light of day, my original witch au tbh, i just, roswell made maria and isobel somehow related, and just made me really uncomfortable with the ship, which is the main reason that i’m not gonna finish the fic if i’m being perfectly honest, there is ALSO that au i had where michael’s daughter from the future comes back to the past and she had been raised by alex, because of reasons that are petty, probably my space opera au as well, and only because i just want to write other things MORE
16. What are your writing strengths?
i think i’m good at describing things, especially kisses, i LOVE writing kisses, it’s one of my favorite things, that and my fight scenes are two of the things i pride myself the most on
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
dialogue, sometimes i feel the characters are ridiculously out of character, but then i don’t care because sometimes in canon characters are also ridiculously out of characters, also describing things, because sometimes i just feel like scenes don’t flow right, i am definitely a comma whore, and use dashes and hyphens in places they definitely shouldn’t be used, run-on sentences are my best friends, also english isn't my first language, so, sometimes the way i phrase things just come out wrong
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
tbh completely honest, i follow the nora sakavic method where you just write the dialogue in english like, “hey there love,” they said in perfect french, and i only break this rule if i actually know the language because just translating straight from english always makes things sound stilted and weird
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
dc comics, i wrote several timkon fics which i posted on livejournal
20. What's your favourite fic you've written?
oh, i know that love is all about the wind, how it can hold me up and kill me in the end (still i loved it), no specific reason why, i just love it with my entire heart!!
and that's it!! im not gonna tag anyone cause I saw that most ppl were already tagged, but if you want to do this just say that I tagged you!!
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prettyboyporter · 4 years
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Comment tag game!
Share (excerpts from) 5 of your favorite comments you got on your fics (etc) this year and tag some friends!
I was tagged on this ages ago by @klayr-de-gall , @kingsandsaints , and @thelittlestgremlin and never got around to doing this, and it took me so long because I knew it would be VERY HARD for me to pick only 5 comments that mean a lot to me. As content creators know, comments are AMAZING GIFTS given by readers when they want to publicly state what they liked about a fic and seriously make creators feel validated and like what they do is worthwhile. It’s FUEL and I love every single comment I’ve received.  So, in no particular order, here are MORE THAN FIVE. I literally could not narrow it down to five:
From @missroserose on Slippery When Wet:
I'm sure a bunch of people have commented on this bit already, but I don't even care. It's amazing. It killed me. I'm dead and it's all because you're amazing. <3
Ambrosia was referring to a Billy’s first kiss with Steve, a moment I’d described using extended sound/musical metaphors, and I really appreciated that she’d copy/pasted that bit to outline as a favorite as it was a part I was particularly proud of writing. 
From @lynn76 on Slippery When Wet: 
This is so great- it reads like a dream come true, like I could see it happening like a movie. I wish I could be a director and make a movie of it. Love, love it! I'm gonna comment again with favorite lines AFTER I sleep! Thank you again, for all your hard work, Tracy.
To know that the person for whom I’d written the fic really enjoyed it means everything. 
From Manniface on ao3 on Boldly Go: 
I love all of this and want 4 seasons if a TV show.
I WANT FOUR SEASONS OF A TV SHOW OF MY OWN FIC TOO LMAO. A harringroe Trek AU was a goddamn BLAST to write. 
From @ihni on Rivers Til I Reach You: 
"You are a son to all of us now" - this is where I got tears in my eyes, although I didn't let them fall until Max and Lucas and Dustin decorated his apartment and hugged him, and he let himself be loved. Ugh, that broke me a little. Christmas, and people doing nice things for each other, and someone who didn't think he'd ever have these things, having these things... I am weak, so weak, for those things.
And his scars. Him reading them all wrong, and Steve infusing them with love and adoration with every kiss. Maaan, I love scars. Because they're proof that you lived through something horrible but survived; got through it. And Billy did that. He got through the horrible thing, and now he's being rewarded with all the things he could never have dreamt about: love, a town full of people who wants him to do well, and people to help and support him.
Ihni really hit the nail on the head with what I wanted readers to take away from this fic: a town full of people who wanted to help and support Billy as well as Steve, who wants to infuse all of his love into Billy, into his scars. 
From @uncle-keery on Take Me with U: 
GUESS WHOOOS BACCKKKK
LOL so that was uncle-keery’s .. 4th?? comment on the fic. She truly took the “leave a comment since you can’t leave another kudos” rule of thumb to heart haha. I love that. 
From Anon on ao3 on Take Me with U: 
So this has to be one of my favourite fics ever. This line "So for the first time, Billy allowed himself to be touched, in this secluded part of the beach with rustling grass and warm sun and Steve’s long fingers." TRULY got me like nothing else. Their tenderness here with each other and like the camaraderie and just EVERYTHING. ALL OF IT. <333
From @sarahstarkiller on Take Me with U: 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. SOFT BOYS BEING SOFT; CAN MY HEART HANDLE IT? BARELY. Honestly though, Tracy, WOW. Well done. So beautiful. I myself *felt* the sun and the sand on Billy’s shoulder and I could smell the smoke in Steve’s hair. GOD, the part about Steve calling Billy’s birthmark his?? I am deceased. That is so sweet and I’m so glad his birthmark is finally getting the recognition it deserves!! May I also note: “Steve kissed him.” So simple, so effective, and yet my heart flew out of my chest. I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU. WOW.
I was so, SO happy to give a reader specific details to walk away with. That means a lot, and Sarah picking out those details meant I’d done a good job. 
From Panoraia on ao3 on Take Me with U: 
It made me feel things i havent felt in a looong fucking time. Like literal butterflies. I thought i was too old for that shit. But naah. My hands were shaking in a train on the way to work. Thanks for that. Also fuck you. But mostly thank you. For writing and sharing and all that. My day is much better now.
I love it when people say where they were when they read it and their reaction in that moment. Plus the “fuck you. But mostly thank you.” had me rolling laughing, lol. I adore this comment. 
From @flippyspoon on Boldly Go: 
I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T THINK TO MUCH ABOUT TNG AND BETAZOIDS TO REMEMBER 'IMZADI' (I read the book 'Imzadi' back in the day even lol). BECAUSE WHAT A GUT PUNCH. HE CALLED STEVE IMZADI I'M DEAD DEEEEEAAD. WHY CAN'T THIS BE A REAL SHOW THAT I CAN WATCH OR READ FOR LIKE 300K WORDS LOL.
To have another Trek fan comment about how much they loved the fic and want like MORE fic or even a show is a top compliment lol but like it was a SPECIAL moment for me to work the word imzadi into the fic, and I’m SO glad it was meaningful for flippy, too. 
From @granpappy-winchester -- an excerot of her comment on Boldly Go: 
I know literally nothing about any of the Star Trek things except they involve space and there are aliens and like, DUDE, I love how accessible your story is!! You made it very easy to follow along for someone who is super unfamiliar with any of this universe. AND I LOVE that Billy is an empath! It fits him so well and it adds this bit of mystery to him too because he can read Steve's emotions so well but there's always going to be a 'WHY does he feel this way??' question tacked on which has the possibility of being very conflicting for the two of them (and then you have Steve who doesn't have that ability to read Billy's emotions but at the same time it seems like he CAN, like he knows Billy so well it doesnt matter if he's an empath or not, he KNOWS Billy). AND OMG. Billy standing up for Steve to his dad. Like. Goddamn so sweet.
This is but a sample of the kind of comment that granpappy-winchester (LazyBaker on ao3) leaves on fics. Sara’s comments ALWAYS describe how the fic makes he feel, points out specific details and lines, and more than anything -- they make you feel VALUED as a writer. Getting a comment from Sara is one of the greatest things you could ask for as a writer. 
I’m gonna tag some writers and also artists, and if you’d like to recognize some of your fav comments, please feel free to do so! @wrecked-fuse @granpappy-winchester @sparkleeye @kyrosh @gothyringwald @dobetterbillyhargrove @wingedbears @cherry-toxic @sarahstarkiller @ihni
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wistfulcynic · 5 years
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Another Brick In The Wall: Chapter 8
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a/n: Effusive thanks to @hollyethecurious for the artwork! I love it so much! Thanks also to everyone for reading, commenting, kudos-ing, and reblogging! I'm so pleased by the way people have been engaging with this story. Love you all xxx
Summary: Emma Swan, sheriff’s daughter, mayor’s niece, quarterback’s girlfriend, is the undisputed princess of Storybrooke High. She is smart and confident and used to getting what she wants. What she wants is Killian Jones, the new boy in school. But Killian is not easily manipulated, and reluctant to allow the dark secrets in his past to touch the girl he is rapidly falling in love with.
Rating: T
Read it on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
Tags for: @darkcolinodonorgasm @jennjenn615 and @resident-of-storybrooke
Chapter 8: 
Killian was out of school for a week, for a “mental health break” he called it with a chuckle, apparently a term he’d gotten from Dr Hopper. He saw the psychiatrist daily during this break and spent the rest of his time at the harbour with Liam, working on their boat, reading, playing his guitar, and talking with his brother about everything that had happened. 
“We’ve hashed it all out in excruciating detail,” he told Emma as they sat together in the boat’s cabin, she working on her college essays while he practiced a new song. “It’s such a relief to be able to really talk to Liam again. There was a time when we had no secrets between us. He showed me all the information he had collected on Milah and her situation. Apparently her divorce is almost finalised and next month she’s starting a job teaching English in Japan.” He smiled. “She’ll like that, a chance to travel. What she always wanted.” 
“Hmmmph,” said Emma, glaring at the screen of her laptop as she typed rapidly. 
“Swan,” he admonished, giving her a mock scowl as he strummed a chord at her. 
Emma slammed her hands down on the keyboard. “Killian, I just don’t know how you can be so forgiving after what she did to you.” 
He set the guitar aside and his expression became serious. “I have to be, don’t you see?” he asked, looking at her intently. “I can’t hold on to my anger or it will eat me alive. I didn’t even realise how angry I was until Dr Hopper helped me see it, and how by not acknowledging it, allowing myself to feel it, and then letting it go, I was only hurting myself. Besides, I did genuinely care about Milah, and I’m glad she’s finally in a place where she can be happy.” 
“Hmmmmph.” Emma concentrated on deleting the gibberish she’d produced by her attack on the keyboard.
“A place that doesn’t include me,” said Killian brightly, picking up the guitar again and plucking out a cheery tune. “That’s good, isn’t it Swan?”
“I suppose so,” she grumbled. “Though I’d still prefer if the place was dark and scary and full of nettles.” He laughed heartily at that and she couldn’t hold back an answering smile. “Hey, I’m nearly done with this, will you read it over and make sure it’s okay? Just check my grammar and punctuation and stuff.”
“Of course, love, though I’m sure it’s already brilliant.” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Freed from the weight of his worry and guilt, Killian gradually began to smile more easily, and his witty, teasing nature (“cheeky git,” Liam called him, his voice irritated but with a relief so profound it bordered on joy in his eyes) came more readily to the fore. When he returned to school the following Monday, he moved through the halls with a swagger that Emma had never seen on him before. Unlike the arrogant, bullying one that Neal always had Killian’s evoked a simple self-assurance that she had to concede looked really good on him. Despite how much emotional baggage he still had to work through he clearly wasn’t burdened by shame anymore, and equally clearly did not intend to take any crap from anyone. 
This made itself evident that morning when he shut his locker and turned towards his first class, only to find himself confronted by Felix and Rufio. 
“Really, chaps?” he said, raising an eyebrow at them. “You couldn’t even wait until after school so you could chuck me into the bins, like proper high school bullies?”
This mockery went clean over the other boys’ heads, and they continued to block his path, trying to look intimidating while also trying not to be intimidated by Killian’s calm demeanor and his amused expression. 
Felix, the sligtly cleverer of the two, suspected he was being laughed at but couldn’t put his finger on why. He didn’t like it. 
Bristling, he sneered at Killian. “Bet you think you’ve won,” he snarled. “Now that Neal’s in jail and out of the way. Now you can move in on Emma like you did on that—” he broke off as Killian stepped into his space. There wasn’t much difference in height between them, but somehow Felix had the impression of Killian towering over him, his face calm but his eyes darkly furious, and for once in his life he felt a stab of genuine fear. 
“I’m only going to say this once,” growled Killian in the new, lower register his voice had taken on more often of late, “So you’d better listen carefully. Your mate Neal is a criminal, and not even a good one. He’s in jail because he’s stupid, and that’s nothing to do with me. I have no doubt it’s where he’d always have ended up eventually. Bit of advice: If you’re going to steal confidential information, don’t take pictures of the evidence on your phone, and definitely don’t then show those pictures to the sheriff’s daughter. Neal got what he deserved. I now consider this matter closed, and if you or anyone else—” he raised his voice so that the rapidly assmbling crowd of onlookers could all hear, “—tries to take it any further, you will not care for the repercussions.” 
Felix wasn’t sure what “repercussions” were, but the hint of repressed violence in Killian’s manner made him keen not to find out. He had always been content to follow Neal, less out of respect for the other boy than a simple unwillingness to make a thing out of Neal’s belligerent insistence that he should be the one in charge, but he’d always sensed that there wasn’t much substance underneath Neal’s bluster. Killian however didn’t bluster. He simply stated facts, and Felix could tell that he was not the sort of person to make a threat he couldn’t back up with action. Perhaps it was time to step out of Neal’s shadow, thought Felix, and take over leadership of their little gang. He certainly couldn’t do a worse job of it than Neal had, and escalating a pointless conflict with a guy who looked prepared to fight dirty if necessary was much more Neal’s style than Felix’s. He nodded at Killian, and stepped back. Rufio looked surprised but followed his lead. 
Killian nodded back then transferred his glare to the crowd of onlookers, which had grown considerably in the past thirty seconds and now included Emma and Ruby, he could see out of the corner of his eye. “As for what you may have heard about me,” he said, loudly enough for all to hear. “It’s all true.” He smirked for a moment as a gasp went through the crowd, then his expression hardened. “It’s also no one’s business but mine, and those in whom I choose to confide. This is all I have to say on the subject. Now, if you’ll all excuse me I don’t wish to be late for class.” He slung his satchel over his shoulder and headed down the hall, turning his head briefly to shoot Emma a wink. People moved aside to let him pass and as soon as he had turned the corner furious whispering erupted in his wake. 
Ruby pursed her lips. “I may have underestimated him,” she remarked. 
Emma’s heart was pounding, a familiar occurrence where Killian was concerned, but this time it felt different. She’d been worried about how he would react to the ineveitable curiosity and questions from their classmates, but this smooth handling of a potentially explosive situation instead of calming her fears instead filled her with the wild desire to run after him, to fling herself into his arms and kiss them both breathless. 
“He’s just so wonderful,” she sighed, and Ruby laughed. 
“Down, girl,” she teased. “I’ll grant you this one’s worth your time, unlike the douchemaster general, but remember we’re in school. No one wants to see that.” 
Emma rolled her eyes and gave her friend a shove, but the butterflies continued rhumba-ing around her insides, this time accompanied by an odd, hollow sort of ache as she remembered her resolution not to pursue Killian anymore. She was now all but certain that she loved him, that beyond the hot, tingly sensation she always felt in his presence lay a profound devotion. She would do anything for him, sacrifice anything to give him what he needed, and that terrified her. For the first time in her life Emma felt vulnerable, exposed, as though her chest were torn open and her heart lain bare to the mercies of fate and one gorgeous, troubled boy. She hated it. Even knowing that Killian would never intentionally hurt her was no consolation when the truth was that he could hurt her simply by caring deeply for her as a friend. If that was all she could ever have from him she would take it, she knew, without pushing for more, but it would be a wound on her heart that would never heal. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“He’s a bully,” shrugged Killian at lunchtime, when Emma, this time accompanied by a very inquisitive Ruby, found him in the library. “Bullies are just cowards at their core, and cowards are easy to intimidate. He won’t do anything because he won’t want to call my bluff. I might not be able to back it up but he’ll be too scared to risk finding out.” 
“And what would you have done if he had called your bluff?” inquired Ruby. 
Killian shrugged again. “Probably got the shit kicked out of me.” 
“Would you have, though?” Ruby pressed, watching him through narrowed eyes.
He returned her stare with a look of wide-eyed innocence. “There were two of them to only one of me. Seems inevitable.” 
“Does it?” Ruby’s disbelief was almost palpable, and having fenced with Killian for months now Emma shared her friend’s suspicion that he was deliberately underplaying his fighting skills.
“Let’s hope we never have to find out,” said Killian with a small smile, in a tone of voice that made it clear he would answer no more questions on the subject. “I quite like my face arranged the way it is.” 
“It is a nice face,” said Ruby with a wolfish grin that widened as Killian’s ears turned pink. “But I didn’t come here just to flatter you. Victor asked me to ask you if he could have your phone number.”
“My number?” Killian blinked in surprise. 
“Yeah, there’s some concert in Portland and he doesn’t have anyone to go with and he thought you might be interested.” 
“Um, sure, I guess.” Killian rattled off the number and Ruby sent Victor a text. A minute later his phone buzzed and he looked at it, snorting as he read the message. “Bit of a wanker, your boyfriend,” he remarked to Ruby. 
“I don’t know what that is but I’m somehow sure that Victor is one,” smirked Ruby. “Is that gonna be a problem?”
“Not at all, I’m rather fond of wankers,” said Killian absently as he typed his reply. “My brother is one, after all.” His phone buzzed again almost instantly and he raised an eyebrow at what he read on it. 
“Ems, I think maybe we should leave the boys to their chat,” said Ruby, and as much as she hated to sacrifice free time with Killian, from the way he was fixated on his phone, his expression almost gleeful as he typed rapidly, Emma had to admit she was probably right. 
“Okay,” she said. “See you in class in a few minutes, Killian. And maybe hang out after school?”
“Hmmm? Oh, I have an appointment with Dr Hopper at four, but I can text you when I’m done.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him but his attention was back on his phone, so she followed Ruby out of the library trying not to feel too disgruntled. Killian should have other friends, she told herelf firmly, male ones who shared his interests. That was normal, and he could use some normal in his life right now.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the next few weeks, things at school settled back into a routine, albeit one that was markedly different than it had been. Neal had been officially arrested after David’s investigation, charged with burglary, theft, and theft of a medical record, and was facing up to five years in prison. His parents had put up their house as collateral to pay his bail, but weren’t allowing him to return to school. 
“Not much point when he’ll just go straight back to the slammer after he’s sentenced,” said Ruby viciously. “So much for that football scholarship he was so cocky about.”
Emma tried to find some compassion for Neal and what was basically the wreck and ruin of his future, but couldn’t dredge up a single particle of it. He had committed several felonies for no other reason than to stick it to Killian for outsmarting him and for becoming her friend, and he’d committed them flagrantly and with no thought to the consequences. He’d probably thought there wouldn’t be any consequences. Killian was right: Neal deserved everything that was coming to him, if only for being so colossally, arrogantly stupid. 
People still whispered about Killian as he walked through the halls but true to character he paid little attention. He did, however, gradually began to open up more and allow more of himself to show through his defences, willingly participating in classes and talking to people other than Emma and Ruby. By the time finals week arrived had actually made a few friends. 
Killian reflected wryly that in a twisted sort of way Neal had done him a favour. With all his secrets now out on the open he was free to embrace the opportunity for a new life he’d found in Storybrooke. Not that there had been anything particularly wrong with the old life, at least since his father had finally left. He’d been a mean old drunk, Brennan Jones, and by the time he’d been forced to flee his creditors for good, stealing a boat from Bristol harbour and melting into the offshore underworld, his sons had been glad to see the back of him. Killian thought about what he himself had been like back then, before Milah, and even though it had only been about a year since he’d first become involved with her so much had changed both in his circumstances and in himself, he feared that hopeful, enthusiastic boy was lost forever. Who exactly had taken his place was the question Killian had asked himself daily for weeks now, and he still wasn’t sure how to answer it. He’d become so used to holding everything in, to keeping such a tight rein on his thoughts and feelings that letting them out, accepting that it was okay to express them had become almost unbelievably difficult. The only person he felt even remotely comfortable being fully himself with aside from Liam was Emma, whose support and friendship remained unwavering as he bumbled and struggled thorough the reclamation of his life, and he remained intensely grateful for it. 
Only one thing about Emma troubled him-- that she no longer seemed to be interested in anything beyond his friendship. All the little hints and cues she had been giving him since they’d met were suddenly gone, and while he was relieved to be free of the added stress of constantly resisting something that part of him desperately wanted, he couldn’t help wondering if there was a darker motivation for this abrupt about-face. Perhaps, whispered an evil little voice in his head, Emma was actually more disgusted by his past than she let on and was simply too kind to tell him directly. Maybe the thought of him touching her turned her stomach now. He certainly couldn’t blame her if it did.   
“What do you want from your relationship with Emma?” asked Dr Hopper one afternoon, after Killian had finally brought himself to mention the change in her behaviour. “Do you want it to be romantic?”
Killian frowned, struggling to sort through the complex tangle of his feelings about and for Emma. “I don’t want a romantic relationship with anyone,” he said finally. “I still feel too messed up for anything like that. But I— I’m still really attracted to her. I think about her all the time, about how we kissed at her party, and I want to kiss her again pretty much constantly, but then I remember Milah and how I thought I felt about her, and I just—” 
“You don’t trust your judgement.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Killian, it’s important for you to remember that you have a much more equal relationship with Emma than you ever did with Milah.”
“Equal, with Emma?” Killian snorted. “You have met her, right?”
Dr Hopper smiled patiently. “I understand that you feel she’s beyond your reach, and that’s a separate issue, but what I mean by equal is that she’s your age and at your stage of life. With Milah you were constantly struggling to relate to her life and her experiences, and when you couldn’t you attempted to make up for that by offering her the affection and sexual attention she craved. You forced yourself to offer these things even though you didn’t genuinely feel them because you feared the consequences of not offering them. But with Emma there is no need to manufacture anything. She is placing no demands on you and therefore any attraction and affection you feel for her is genuine.”
“But what should I do about it?”
“Why should you have to do anything? You said you’re not ready for a romantic relationship, and that’s fine. Let yourself heal. The process is slow and frustrating, but believe me you are making progress. Let your feelings for Emma and your relationship with her develop at a pace that is comfortable for you. From what you’ve said it sounds like she will still be there when, if, you’re ready for more.” 
“It’s more than likely she no longer wants more. And even if she did, what happens when she meets someone who isn’t so hopelessly fucked up? Then where does that leave me?”
“Why don’t you worry about that if —not when— it happens?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the last day before winter break, Emma nervously approached Killian’s locker and handed him an invitation to her parents’ annual Christmas party addressed to him and Liam. 
“It’s just a thing they do every year for their friends and our neighbours,” she began to ramble as he examined the card, certain he would refuse and wanting to delay that painful moment. “My mom loves to entertain, and my dad says it’s good for building a rapport between law enforcement and the community, and—”
“Swan,” interrupted Killian, giving her that soft, indulgent look that said he knew exactly what she was thinking. “I’m sure we’d love to attend. Thank you for inviting us.” 
The butterflies soared in a grand jeté, and she felt like she was flying with them. “Great,” she said trying to keep her voice calm, “I guess I’ll see you then.”
Her delighted smile made his breath catch, and his answering grin set her heart galloping. Their eyes met and held, and as the end of semester chaos whirled around them they stood a breath apart, swathed in frustrated yearning and brittle tension, the only two people in the world.  
Then the final bell rang, and they leapt apart, Emma smoothing her skirt with shaking hands while Killian ran his own trembling fingers through his hair. 
“So, onion rings at Granny’s?” ventured Emma, wanting to kick herself for making him nervous again, after all her resolutions, hoping desperately he wouldn’t pull away. 
Killian sighed in relief, tinged with a hint of disappointment. Granny’s was safe. “Sounds perfect, love,” he said. 
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bigskydreaming · 5 years
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Seriously, for fuck’s sake, I know that post was AT LEAST as far back as December, if not more, and it literally had less than ten notes just two hours ago.
But remember! I’m on a fucking CRUSADE! I just want to take away peoples’ rape fics and harmless kiddie porn fantasies and I just can’t respect the fact that as long as people just TAG their ‘herein lies my advertisement of the fact that hahaha, omg I think what happened to you is actually kinda hot and sexy giggle giggle aren’t I so TABOO????’ smut like lol okay, well that doesn’t affect me at all, I’m not remotely bothered by having to spend every single day wading through reminders of how much more fascinating people find rape than actual survivors of said things. 
I’m the one who has no idea how to live in a society with other people and suck it up and deal with the fact that sometimes, people do and say things that make us uncomfortable and we wish we could avoid, but just shut the fuck up and keep that to yourself, right? Don’t like....TELL people they’ve made you uncomfortable and are doing things that you wish they’d think about more critically, gosh, all that’s gonna do is make THEM uncomfortable then, why couldn’t you just kept it to yourself, how dare you think TALKING about problems is the solution?????
Yup yup, I’m clearly the one who has no boundaries and no regard for other people and can’t let people just have their harmless fun, their different opinions that don’t actually affect me, I’m the one who just can’t seem to stop from hunting down posts I don’t agree with and hopping on other blogs and resurrecting weeks or months old posts just to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS THIS POST WAS WROOOOOOONG. Lmao.
Well I’m very sorry for all that, now that mine eyes have been opened! Rape fics are harmless and this is all just fictional, nobody is actually affected in a negative way by anything being talked about here yaaaaaaay!
Anyway, I’m off to spend the rest of the night trying to calm down lolol because fun fact for people who love to talk about being triggered but have no real clue what they’re actually talking about and how that word was never meant to describe being like...upset or angry but rather the stimuli or situations that put survivors and people with PTSD and other mental disorders into actual goddamn panic spirals and attacks. And thus like, triggers are not as fucking obvious as some of you seem to think they are.
Like lol guess what, I actually can read a scene wherein someone’s raping someone in a scene that looks or sounds EXACTLY LIKE MY RAPE and it can be heart-wrenching and it can be graphic and it can be emotional and I can still not be triggered by that! Know why? Because shockingly, I AM aware that this is just fictional! That these are just fictional characters! That no fictional character and no real person has been harmed in the writing of this scene, because FICTIONAL CHARACTERS CAN’T BE HARMED! Know what else fictional characters can’t be? RAPED. Because rape is not a VISUAL, rape is not an ACTION, rape is not a SPECIFIC SEQUENCE OF EVENTS. Rape is a THEFT, it is one person STEALING another person’s ability to control what happens with their body, taking what they have no right to take, just because they WANT to, just because they CAN. And thus NO rape scene, no matter HOW well written or realistically depicted, is ever going to BE a rape scene, just like no ‘rape fantasy’ roleplay is ever going to BE rape because without an actual DYNAMIC of one person taking something the other person has no power to stop, when its two equally consenting partners or two flat fictional characters on a page, it is still nothing more than a SIMULATION of rape, and NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT.
And guess what? I can handle THAT just fine. THAT doesn’t trigger me no matter how much it reminds me of my own trauma, because I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT ISN’T REAL.
But you know what IS real? You know what DOES trigger me? The CONTEXT of the scene. The REASON it was written, the intended REACTION of the reader.
The part that makes me lose my fucking shit is when I’m forced to face the reality that this scene exists, was written, because somebody found it HOT and SEXY and wanted to share it with people who’d see it the same way. The reason I lose my goddamn MIND and my adrenaline ramps up and my whole body starts shaking as my fight or flight instincts kick in with no actual outlet because there’s no actual threat, just the phantom reminder of a threat I couldn’t escape from....THAT fun little adventure comes from looking or hearing about things that remind me of my rape, take me back to that fucking room and make me a terrified out of my goddamn mind dumbass nineteen year old all over again.....and knowing that this is HOT to the writer and readers, that this is  intended as sexually gratifying, that this scene, this depiction, this simulation of one person STEALING from another powerless person SOMETHING THEY WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING BE ABLE TO GET BACK AS LONG AS THEY LIVE, THE SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY THAT COMES FROM BEING THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHO HAS ACCESS TO YOUR BODY....knowing that this little smutty fic exists so people can read this and be TURNED ON by this, so they can GET OFF to this, this thing they’re looking at in their mind, reading about, picturing as they stare down at their screen getting all hot and bothered....
JUST LIKE MY FUCKING RAPIST LOOKED WHEN GETTING OFF FROM TAKING THOSE THINGS FROM ME.
THAT is what fucking triggers me, THAT is what makes me feel unsafe and panicky, THAT is what traps me all over again in that fucking goddamn room and leaves me STUCK there no matter how many years its been and HOW far I’ve come in getting past it...
THE CONSTANT NEVER ENDING REMINDER THAT PEOPLE THINK ITS TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL TO FUCKING AGREE WITH MY RAPIST ABOUT HOW FUCKING HOT AND SATISFYING THE VIEW IS FROM UP THERE.
And all the fucking trigger warnings in the world don’t protect me from THAT, they just emphasize how little people actually give a shit, they just want the magic answer to how they can have their fun ‘harmless’ little rape KINK without having someone make them feel bad for the fact that the rank goes FUN RAPE FANTASIES YAY first and survivors who have a problem with that way the fuck last.
Anyway, so that’s what I’ll be doing all night! Links to my paypal and my ko-fi are on my main blog page if anyone’s ever felt informed or learned anything from any of my many, many, MANY posts about this stuff or any form of gratitude for the effort I DO or at least once DID put into sorting through my thoughts and making my points in some kind of way that actually addresses the usual conversations around all this.
Because guess what? It IS goddamn fucking emotional labor. It DOES take work! Its EXHAUSTING. It HURTS. I would give anything in the world to NOT pick at that giant fucking scab as often as I do, but I DONT HAVE THAT OPTION. Because not talking about it DOESNT MAKE IT GO AWAY. It doesn’t make LESS for me to have to navigate through every goddamn day of my life and you know what the suggested response to problems that you can’t fix on your own are? Problems with SOCIETY?
HAVING GODDAMN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT IT.
So excuse me for SAYING that as often as I do especially cuz every time I DO I get maybe ten notes of acknowledgment that anyone’s even fucking LISTENING but meanwhile here’s another fucking five hundred on a Batfam or X-Men shit post, now THAT’S the content people want from me!
Guess what! I WANT THAT TO BE MY CONTENT TO!
I would LOVE nothing more than to just be able to happily and comfortably shitpost about my favorite superheroes and write stuff I enjoy and that doesn’t have the flaws I rant about seeing in so many shows and books. I could talk for HOURS about fun thoughts and ideas I have in my head, I could banter back and forth with my friends about nothing of substance at all for DAYS, I don’t NEED to fucking retraumatize myself every goddamn day screaming into the void about this shit so I can feel IMPORTANT or have something INTERESTING to blog about or whatever the fuck people think is my reason for ranting about this shit. ALL. THE. GODDAMN. TIME.
But I can’t do that, because there is not a fucking day that goes by, not a DAY where SOMETHING doesn’t cross my dash, or SOMETHING isn’t on an Ao3 page I’m searching through for fic about a fave character, that doesn’t set me off and make my body start shaking with how deeply, fundamentally UPSETTING it is to constantly be bombarded with reminders of just how easy people find it to reframe my trauma as something hot and sexy and WAY MORE WORTH DEFENDING than the very thought of me going ONE FUCKING DAY without having to stumble across bullshit like that. Because I CAN’T ‘dont like/dont read’ as much is out there. I don’t need to click on a fic to see this is smut fic by an author who thinks rape is hot and judging from the number of kudos and comments and hits is definitely on to something! GUESS I DID MY RAPE WRONG THEN, cuz it wasnt fucking hot for me!
I would love to just ‘avoid’ it so I can actually ENJOY my fucking time on the internet. But I CANT. Because its EVERYWHERE. And god forbid I try and start fucking CONVERSATIONS about that so that maybe, someday, after we’ve done the work as a society to examine WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING INVESTED IN THIS STUFF, I or at the very least people like me, can someday enjoy one day on the internet where they DONT have to constantly wade through an endless swamp of that shit.
Honestly. Seriously. I have said it so often I can not count. I do not want to censor anyone. I do not want power over what people can read or write. I just. want. to TELL people that when they write this stuff, it has CONSEQUENCES, that there are people it DOES hurt, and have them LISTEN, so that at least, at LEAST the ones who are bothered enough by that realization to NOT be comfortable writing it when faced with the awareness of the fact that their writing HAS THIS EFFECT WHETHER WE SAY IT TO THEIR FACES OR NOT, that THEY at least can decide....hey. What if I just...wrote something else instead?
But what the FUCK am I supposed to do with the constant, incessant reminder that people would rather dig in their heels in defense of their RAPE FANTASIES than roll up their sleeves and do a little fucking examination of WHY they and society at large are so fucking invested in this shit that the very IDEA of ‘giving up’ content like this for the sake of people who have actually LIVED through it, is just....INCOMPREHENSIBLE to them? That they feel ATTACKED by the very idea?
(And don’t fucking come at me with that ‘some survivors use it to cope’ stuff. Yeah, well I used to get in bar fights as my coping mechanism. Didn’t fucking mean it was healthy, and it wasn’t fucking harmless to anyone I punched in the goddamn face, now was it? Also, if you’re not a survivor and you hide behind that line, FEEL FUCKING ASHAMED for thinking of it as a kneejerk response to another survivor telling you your “kink” fucking hurts).
I’m out. See you all later.
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actualbird · 7 years
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Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u
OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 
i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 
(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)
Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]
He begins at it already pried apart
OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.
DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.
World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]
Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.
“I need a favor,” he says at last.
“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”
(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)
if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)
catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]
What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?
hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the
Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]
“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.
“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”
Merlin chose to shut up.
all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.
Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]
It really does take a village to raise a Jim.
The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.
I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.
fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]
“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”
Everybody stared at him.
“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.
“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”
ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 
Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]
Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.
(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)
SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 
OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!
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