#ill fucking snap ur neck ?? those characters

[baahsu]

HEYYY ITS ME MYSTERIOUS ANON WHO PROVIDED THE ESSAYS WORTH OF VSCEST SMUT CONTENT AND.

1. OTHER ANON, I SAW THAT TWITTER ART AND I *THINK* YOU'RE THE ARTIST AND JUST KNOW I ALMOST ACTUALLY CRIED (/POS) UPON SEEING IT. I DIDNT BUT I DID SCREAM INTO MY PILLOW FOR REAL THO WHEN I SAW THE YONJI ONE. I ACTUALLY GASPED IRL OUT OF JOY LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA

ahem. apologies for yelling!!! but 2. op please do NOT delete ur twitter post (unless You want to, ofc) of my writing!! it made me so very happy to see that you liked my stuff sm that you went thru the effort of putting it on another site- like that is SO heartwarming and kind tf?? 🥺💗❤💙🖤💚

BUT happy yelling aside, im here to do my job and provide more content for ye. of many flavors, actually!! but ill start w this one and then probably continue my insane vscest ramblings in other asks lmao. if you don't vibe with this Mashup of characters then feel free to ignore this :]] <3<3

so. tumblr user baashu. i saw that you were in a ronami mood on Bird App. so. hear me out, maybe. robin, nami, and reiju all have a sleepover (emphasis on the Sleep part, but no one other than those 3 has to know that ;]) on the sunny!! reijus visiting, as she does

and sanji, hearing about this so-called sleepover through the grapevine, decides he's going to be a good nakama and little brother and surprise them with their favorite snacks and drinks!! sleepovers are always better with good provisions, especially for ones that go all night long

however. sanji was not expecting to open that door (yes it was unlocked for plot purposes and he didnt knock because he had like 7 different plates in his hands let me HAVE this) and see his 3 favorite girls going down on one another.

that boys cigarette fell STRAIGHT out his mouth- a tiny noise escaping him as all 3 girls heads snapped to look at him. he was ready to bolt SO fast, throwing the food he made as gently as he could onto a nearby counter and saying sorry about 40 times per second. he wasnt even halfway out the door before an array of arms sprouting from the floor dragged his ass towards the bed

you KNOW those girls are (lovingly, teasingly) bullying him the whole time, calling him sweetly degredating names. yet they refused to do more than that- not allowing him to touch/participate and yet refusing to let him leave the room

nami calling him a pervert, talking about how for every minute he's in there he gets 5% more debt added to what he already owes her (reijus head was between her thighs as she said all this, btw). robins flirtatiously scolding him about bad manners, leaning over to run her fingers across his cheek and neck as namis head layed on her naked lap. and reijus mouth was too busy to comment, but every once in a while she let out a giggle of agreement when one of her other two partners said something that really made blood drip out of sanjis nose

and once pretty boy was all hot and heavy, the only reason he was locked in place being the disconnected arms restricting his movements? they all take their sweet, sweet time in pleasing him.

AND HES NOT FUCKING COMPLAINING LMAO. this idiot got not one, not two, but THREE hot women to dom him, somehow, by just showing up at the right time. he's taking everything they put him through in stride, whether that be sudden overstimulation or tortuously slow edging, he's loving All Of It

they go the rest of the night until the sun is halfway up, the only reason they let him go being because if they didnt, luffy would come barging in, asking when and why breakfast hadnt been made

and so sanji walks out with an exhausted sense of satisfaction, rumpled close, weak knees, and a dopey smile on his face as he thinks about what to make that day to thank his lovely ladies for this equally as lovely gift

...or i should say he *limps* out, actually. what. you think all of of those girls didn't peg that man until he was screaming???

HAHAH OKOK IM DONE IM DONE I HOPE THIS WAS ALRIGHT AND NOT OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE??? you says you ship allsan so. i hold this rarepair of mine up for you to look at with big eyes and shakey hands lmao

ANYWAYS i need to go write like. actual vscest now that i can post on ao3 someday. uh. see you oshdafafafafwy??? <3<3

AS SOON AS YOU PUT ROBIN NAMI AND REIJU IN THE SAME SENTENCE I KNEW THIS WOULD BE GOOD

THEY'RE LIKE THE OFFICIAL BULLYING SANJI SQUAD FOR ME! And sure reiju might go soft on him because reasons, but she has no problem teasing him and calling him sweet names. She can just let the harder stuff for robin and nami while she busies herself with their bodies instead

And imagining all of robin's arms and hands sprouting everywhere and completely pinning sanji down?? It's so good and so hot, so effortless for her and so effective. Not that sanji really needs to restrained, only look from nami and he'd be motionless, but it's just the fact that robin wants to do it and she knows sanji will melt and let them do whatever they want with him afterwards

I can totally picture nami playing hot and cold with him, one second praising him for being a good boy, on the other calling him a pervert, then saying he's so good to them, so attentive, then saying he's crossed a line and he should've knocked, such a bad, naughty boy that he is

Sanji's lucky he didn't need a blood transfusion after all that. But I mean, reiju was right there, he would've been fine and it would've been worth it

Also I just have to mention how sweet it was of sanji to think about getting them snacks 😭 I think he deserves all the praises just for that

#anon i look forward to anything you decide to post on ao3 i just know it'll be incredible #vinsmokecest #and other ships that unfortunately i won't tag to avoid ppl shrieking in my inbox

[ghoulifiedbitch]

Who people think of when they claim all women in GOT are abused:

Daenerys

Sansa

Missandei

Everyone else who they don't think about because they don't watch the show:

Cersei Lannister

Catelyn Stark

Arya Stark

Margaery Tyrell

Olenna Tyrell

Ellaria Sand

The Sand Snakes: Tyrene Sand, Nymeria Sand, Obara Sand

Shae

Meera

Ygritte

Yara Greyjoy (a wlw, mind you, who survives!)

Lyanna Mormont

Melisandre

Brienne of Tarth

Osha

Men who are abused in the show that people claim only abuses women:

Tyrion Lannister

Theon Greyjoy (arguably traumatized more than any other character in the show)

Grey Worm

Loras Tyrell

Gendry

Lord Varys

Samwell Tarly

Listen, I don't care that people don't like Game of Thrones - big fucking deal, we're all entitled to like or dislike what we want.

I don't care if people are annoyed by the hype surrounding Game of Thrones - I still hate tons of stuff I've never seen simply because the popularity annoyed me. It's normal.

I DO care that people claim the show abuses and traumatizes women just for the male audience to, idk, jack off to??

I DO care that people claim the shows women characters exist solely to be traumatized and tortured.

It's a popular misconception that people make ignorant comments about which are then shared by other people who have never even seen the show nor seen a single character outside of poorly done memes.

I care about this so strongly because not only is it incorrect, but because Daenerys and Sansa have done A WORLD of good for my own personal life. They're empowering, they're real and three dimensional, they changed how I see myself and the way I want other people to see me. When I need confidence, I think of them. When I need to be strong and defensive, I think of them. When I'm feeling looked down upon or objectified by ignorant sexist men I think of them. Theyve shaped me more than any other women in fiction, and I'm hella gay - I know a lot of women characters - so that's really saying something. They shaped me more than Wonder Woman shaped me. I love them because they taught me how to love myself, and to love myself more than anyone.

Daenerys and Sansa aren't just violent p0rn to whack to. That's OFFENSIVE, frankly. They overcome their toxic environments just like ANY male superhero, action movie dude protag, or literally any other character in fiction. To say it's different just because they're women is MISOGYNISTIC HELLO?? Women are allowed to be more than delicate petals!! And as I said, plenty of men in GOT go through harsh trials in their arcs and no one seems to think anything wrong about that, so why is it some special case when it comes to women?

No one said The Hunger Games was just about tormenting a little girl.

No one said Tomb Raider is just about tormenting a woman.

Why say that GOT is just about tormenting women?

The next time you claim GOT is just about objectifying women, maybe ask yourself: are YOU the one objectifying them?

#idgaf if u dont like the show #but dont u dare tell me the women are badly written #ill fucking snap ur neck ?? those characters #theyre everything to me #i love them because they taught me to love myself

[themulberrytree]

character sheet.

full name: Shallan Davar pronunciation: Sha-Lahn Dah-var (fuck IPA i am not doing that shit again)

nicknames: strong one (by hoid), love, dear (by adolin), storming woman (mostly by kaladin)

height: 5′6″ age: 19/20 (rosharan years) / 21-22 (earth years)   zodiac: gemini (donut ask me when her bday is i donut have a date yet) languages: (spoken/written): veden (native), alethi, azish, selay (moderate skill in speaking only) thaylen (reading/writing only).

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour: rich, deep red, only red. eye colour: bright blue skin tone: shallan is very fair, though she spends as much time in the sun as she can, so her face is dusted with freckles. body type: slim and slender. unlike the curvaceous body type often seen on alethi women, shallan is much smaller both in figure and stature. she could be mistaken for delicate, at first glance. as she spends more time training with her blade, her body becomes much more defined and muscular, but she will never achieve any kind of bulky muscles, she simply does not have the body type.

accent: her natural veder accent would be considered low, given shallan’s isolation out in the countryside. she can speak in a more posh (re: acceptable) accent, but she has little reason to do so. dominant hand: right posture: shallan has the posture of a perfect vorin lady, back straight and shoulders back at all times. when sitting, her freehand always covers her safehand, placed delicately in her lap unless she is sketching. when walking, her hands are clasped in front of her. she is rarely animated in her posture when speaking, and depending on her company, she works hard to blend in. when alone, shallan may slouch when studying, or do her work in a very unlady like fashion on her bed. if she trusts her present company, they may witness this lapse in acceptable posture, but only if she trusts them.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth: jah kaved hometown: some hick town in the middle of the countryside. birth weight / height: 6 pounds, 3 ounces. 18 inches. manner of birth: natural first words: pa siblings: (all elder, all brothers) helaran, balat, twins: wikim and jushu parents: lin davar, and an unnamed mother, malise davar (step mother), all deceased. parental involvement: shallan remembers a somewhat happy childhood (although the likelihood of that being the case is up for debate). her mother taught her how to draw, and was in charge of shallan’s education in the early years. much of her early years have been forgotten due to the trauma of shallan’s witnessing (see: committing) her mother’s murder. she did not speak at all for half a year afterwards. from that point on, her father became overbearing, and with each year he was less of the man shallan had first known. he was violent towards two of her brothers and the servants, often scaring away tutors, so shallan’s education in those critical years was sporadic at best. her father demanded complete obedience, and any deviation on her part meant that a servant got beaten in her place. in order to spare them and placate her father, shallan worked hard to draw little attention to herself and obey. it was her father who also chose her devotary (purity) rather than her having the opportunity to choose for herself.

ADULT LIFE

occupation: she is the ward of jasnah kholin, having managed to convince the woman she was worthy of wardship at seventeen. after being taken in, shallan begins her education in scholarship, fine tuning her skills in making logic based arguments, study, and critical thinking.

on the shattered plains, she secures work with highprince sebarial as a clerk while maintaining the work in finding urithiru that she started with jasnah, and working to infiltrate the secret group known as the ghostbloods.

she latter assumes a more public role as a knight radiant, the first of the order of lightweavers in centuries. while her status as a radiant is known, she works very hard to keep her work covert. she deals in spywork and information, and uses her lightweaving to form disguises for herself and associates. she has also used her abilities to battle unmade, work oathgates, and help run reconnaissance in kholinar.

as highprincess, her duties would include helping manage affairs of the realm and detecting intrigue to better aid her husband.

close friends: lmafo what are those????? jk, her brothers, later adolin, renarin, kaladin, jasnah (sort of, more teacher/student) wit/hoid (when he’s around). relationship status: verse dependent, married to adolin kholin in canon financial status: her family is destitute, and shallan herself has little experience in personally handling money. that being said, she knows how to balance finances and plan expenses. when working for sebarial, she manages to secure a comfortable pay from him, her later marriage secures her financial security, though her status as a radiant could’ve done that too. driver’s license: she could probably drive, but would be terrible at it due to the fact that she’d keep lookin out the window. she has little experience on horseback, but can manage. criminal record: technically none yet, having managed to get away with murder twice. she had also stolen successfully from jasnah kholin.  

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation: bisexual romantic orientation: biromantic, could be polyromantic preferred emotional role: submissive (someone pls force her to accept comfort i am beggin) | dominant |  switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role: submissive |  dominant  |  switch  |  sex repulsed | libido: she’s basically DTF anytime and anywhere, and yes, i wish i were kidding, but she’s just horny on main. turn ons: she’s into more traditional kinds of attractiveness, people who look put together. but she really enjoys some kind of hint at wildness, hair that won’t quite stay, a kind of subtle ruggedness. post-battle disheveledness  is HOT. allow her to talk about her studies, things she’s working on or wanting to start, she’ll love that. don’t be afraid to talk about your own interests, she goes off on her own a lot, so she’ll want someone with their own hobbies too. be kind, be willing to grow and change and share. be there if she asks. laugh at her absolutely fucking awful jokes. on the more physical side, not being afraid to show affection in public. that spot on the neck below the ear? yeah, kiss it. leave a mark. kiss the inside of her wrist. do not be afraid to be rough with her, she’s not easily hurt and she doesn’t always like being treated like a china doll. go to town. BUT you must also be good at taking your time. tenderness is a good trait to have in every day life, but if you can translate that into the intimacy of the bedroom, give her a slow buildup, ur golden. turn offs: unnecessary rudeness, lack of independence. anyone who treats her like she needs protecting, or thinks she needs to confine herself in some way, for any amount of time. never laughing at her terrible jokes, or indulging her seemingly random curiosities. being a skybreaker. love language: physical touch is primary, but quality time and words of affirmation are also great. relationship tendencies: shallan has a tendency to fall fast. even when she’s telling herself to be careful and take things slow, it’s easy to pull her in and have her grow an attachment on a superficial level fairly early. she’s good about letting the other person lean on her for support, but she’s not so great when it comes to sharing anything deep about herself. she has a habit of trying to mold herself into what she thinks the other person would like, and clinging to that. if confused she might play around with feelings, though she’s not fully aware she’s doing it. she’s big on positive reinforcement, she’ll let you know if she enjoys your company, and when she’s invested in the relationship, she’ll look for fun ways to spend time with that person. she might attempt to appear more serious and mature than she is, but her silliness will slip out. when she loves though, she loves completely, and a distracted heart is settled once she makes a decision about what she wants.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song: flowers, from ha.des.town iris, goo goo dolls moth’s wings, passion pit: this is more a general vibe. i picture it when shallan is in a creative spurt. sun, sleeping at last: for the same creation aesthetic. fire drills, dessa (for when she finally Snaps. and also some lines just really Hit)

hobbies to pass the time: drawing is the big one. she’s always got her sketchbook and something to draw with on hand. it’s an art she’s perfected and uses it both for her lightweaving, and to relax. she enjoys scholarship, exploring history is of a special interest, but taking a closer look at the local flora and fauna is just as fun. she’s naturally curious, so if something grabs her attention, she will want to take a look. she also enjoys discussing what she’s working on with other people, sometimes just so she can use them as a sounding board, but also because they might have insights she doesn’t. it’s very fun for her to explore ideas. she likes going on walks, exploring the area around her. just spending quality time with people she enjoys too. mental illnesses: Dissociative Personality Disorder is the big one. ADHD, PTSD, some depression. physical illnesses: None. left or right brained: right fears: CONFINEMENT. she fears vulnerability and relying others, but she also craves it quite a bit. she fears being understood completely because she’s certain there isn’t anything left to love if someone were to see everything. she fears what she can’t understand, and losing the people she loves, more than she already has. self confidence level: extremely low. she projects an air of self confidence, but frequently downplays her talents. she finds it completely astounding that adolin might actually find her attractive in any sense, let alone be interested in her as a person. her trauma and what she precieves as crimes has left her feeling hollowed out, because she is so terrified of someone really Seeing her, she works hard to hide those corners of herself from others and often feels like she’s failing at even that. vulnerabilities: shallan keeps secrets. too many of them. and she can often dig herself into a pit and struggle to get herself out, and even when she’s in that deep, she has difficulty asking for help. she doesn’t always think things through. her dpd can leave her particularly vulnerable depending on which personality is in control (veil in particular has trouble seeing the Big Picture). it’s easy to goad her into a fight (of the verbal variety) and she will stop at nothing to have the last word. if you have members of her family to hold over her, that’s a good tool. and shallan cannot resist a good mystery, that is a surefire way to pull her in.

tagged by: @luck-crowned tagging: @marblecarved (for mary, emma, or horace!), @melnchly (meg or ros), @minastiriiths, @arturiusrex, @gxtenoughnxrve, @ambiidexter, and @arborvitas

#c. shallan #this took me several days of fact checking the books for some shit lmafo #anyway meet my garbage daughter

[sobdasha]

Speaking of clothing and timelines

I have, apparently, been misunderstanding Yuki's childhood for a long time lol.

(I assumed Akito like, literally painted a room black somewhere adjacent to Akito's rooms and just, y'know, kept Yuki in there, a Rat Room, and I couldn't figure out when or why Yuki at some point might have been moved back home???)

But hey now I know so much more all because I said "I don't even understand Yuki's clothes" and decided, "Takaya probably had it all figured out and I just need it written down to find the pattern."

Anyway here are the results of my research! I have divided Yuki's life into 4 distinct clothing periods.

Living with Akito

Yuki's mom dresses him in a suit to go meet Akito. After that, Yuki wears either kimono or what I'm choosing to call "Kyou clothes," on account of they look like the things Kyou (or young Haru) wears. I'm not sure there's a rhyme or reason for why Yuki is dressed traditional or western clothes on any given day. I also assume the Souma maids were responsible for acquiring Yuki's clothes, what else are maids for clearly.

--

Isolation

This is the start of the "pitch dark room" which is, ah, more metaphorical than literal. When Yuki was Akito's live-in playmate, Akito talked about how they were both special and together and awesome. After the rooster hecked things up, when Akito snapped, Akito specifically talks about how Yuki is different and unimportant. Akito separates and isolates Yuki both with those words and also, I think, by literally kicking Yuki back home. I, uh, am now realizing that this is Akito's bedroom, Akito probably didn't do an entire redecorating job with a little pot of ink, and the darkness of Yuki's bedroom back in his parents' house is, y'know, less literal in nature. The reboot anime makes it pretty clear that the "pitch dark room" of Yuki's childhood is identical to Yuki's bedroom at his parents' house, so. Yeah.

(Hey, at least I'm not like the first anime who took one look at the black paint and said "that's a whip right????")

Anyway, this same time marks a shift in Yuki's clothing. He's still got a lot of the "Kyou clothes," and he still occasionally wears kimono, but his wardrobe also now contains more preppy, formal clothes that I'm sure his mom was picking out with Yuki's future status in mind.

Also, now that I'm writing these things down, I suspect this is why Yuki's mom slaps him so hard at New Year's for "embarrassing her" by ditching Akito. I mean, she's terrible, but it seemed a bit over the top for someone who was pretty content to ignore Yuki while things were going her way, and how does she know Akito didn't give Yuki permission to ditch??? But it would make sense if she's still absolutely pissed that Yuki's living with her again, clearly he fell out of favor with Akito, he fucked up his (and her) chances, Yuki should just be so lucky that at least Akito's still interested enough to visit on the regular (for verbal and emotional abuse) but that's not gonna continue if you ruin this by upsetting Akito even further!

I believe we don't really see Yuki in the years between 2nd grade and 9th grade, but all the stuff from 9th grade is the preppier, more formal clothes. I assume once he outgrew the "Kyou" things after being moved back home, he didn't get any more hoodies and cargo-pocket shorts and etc. No clue if Yuki still occasionally had kimono.

--

Shigure's house

This is the only period that Yuki wears Chinese-style shirts, in addition to his nice dress shirts.

Also I'm so sad I had this idea in my head that Yuki didn't start wearing sweaters and sweater vests with his uniform until he started copying off Kakeru, but no, he wore them right in like the first or second volume, he just wears them when it's really cold. GDI I thought that was super cute...I'm so sad…

Also tangent like. I'm pretty sure there's a great fic in here somewhere about the time of moving Yuki into Shigure's house. At this point, as far as we know, the only place Yuki goes to is school. In elementary school we saw him get driven; I wouldn't put it past his mom (who wanted him in a better school district, where maybe he couldn't walk to like is supposed to be the norm) to have him be driven to school all the time, to better keep an eye on him. So here comes Yuki to Shigure's house, does that kid even have any furniture, this is a serious question, and he's going to determinedly go to a co-ed school when he doesn't even have practice walking down the street without running into women.

I'm sure it could only help Shigure's interests of ~emotionally distancing Yuki from Akito~ by being like "Haha okay school starts in like, 2 days, son it's time for a crash-course in existing in public and we'll kill two nailing-ur-girlfriend birds with one stone by shopping for furniture and clothes and whatever as well!"

The point being that Yuki, like Machi, presumably has no idea what he likes at this point but he sees some Chinese-style clothes and they are 1) not like what that jerkface Kyou wears and 2) not like the dress shirts his mom/the household staff buy him 3) probably good enough right?? While Shigure has to stand there with, like, a totally straight face, although if he slips up a bit it's probably fine because Yuki's not been exposed to him nearly enough yet to realize what Shigure's like. Because Yuki's seen Ayame like, a handful of times, while Shigure knows full-well that Chinese-inspired-style is Ayame's absolute personal fave, and he's dying. He's dying. This is exactly the sort of entertainment he hoped to be blessed with when he signed up for this. Everything's amazing. Eh yeah I'm sure it's fine, Shigure shrugs, not wanting to appear too eager so that Yuki realizes what's up.

(And then Shigure gives him a whirlwind schooling on pop culture, so that Yuki can be like "Ugh Kyou you uneducated peon, you don't even know who Jason is" while also being "…I've literally never heard of the Power Rangers, is that, like, a thing??")

--

Kakeru

This period starts sometime after Sorta Cinderella, and is in play when the whole student council goes out together to that cafe. It's the time that Yuki begins to keep his nails shorter, his clothes change, and Machi notes that Yuki's somehow managed to get character development.

Yuki never wears his Chinese-style shirts again. Instead he wears things that are similar to his preppy/dressy clothes, but more casual. He starts leaving the top button undone. He wears a t shirt under a button front. Yuki used to wear preppy sweaters over dress shirts, but they were always crew neck--now, he wears v-neck sweaters over them. (He does once wear one of his old preppy sweaters one more time and I cringe every time I read that scene, it's so tight, it's so cringy the way the collar sticks out, it's so ill-fitting, I wonder if that's on purpose or if that's because I just don't fashion. It might be on purpose to show he's outgrown it. Oh snap, wait, was that right after the New Year's where he had another big character development?? Is that why??? SYMBOLISM?????)

--

Anyway, that's our Takaya-sensei, folks.

#sobdasha fic adjacent #fruits basket

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

the lorax, but everytime a character appears its bnha and every time u read it u want 2 die

summary: oh you know damn well whats coming, sweetie 

notes: its 2:35 am. i spent over an hour writing this. pls clap. 

*****************************************************************************************************

it was a suny day in thneedville and the sun was shining but it was COLD and DARk in dekus hart as he gazed sadly off intot he distance. “mommm wy doesnt todoroki senpai-san NOTICE me???”” he lameneted to his mom.

“maybe its ur ugly little pissbaby child face” inko suggested as she cooked up a spaghety for brekfast.

“how can i impress him??” deku questioned

“try lifting, cucklord” said his grandma recovery girl as she casually bench bressed 600 pounds of rocks.

“how bout i find him  a plant insted?” deku sugested thinking about the tre todoroki painted on his house. he had asked todoorki if he liked trees and he sed ‘ya sur i gues’. “bitches lov plants”

“yeeee i kno wat u mean giv him some *lettuce*” recovery gorl winked

“wat a bout a tree” “but TREEs are DEAD” inko exlciamed! she threw the spagheti on the floor for dramtic effect and cltuched dekus head in his hands. “Son do not SPEAK of such things or The All For One’HAre Corporation Copyright TM wil BUST thru the ROOF and kill you! Now sit down and eat ur capitalism! Consumerism is god hallejeuluah amen!”

“tree” deku whisperd

the hose exploded and every1 died but they were okey. avaracious all-for-one’hare, a tiny liitle with a shiny bowlcut and tiny little man feet bitchslaped deku across the face. “NO TREES ALLOUD!!1!”  he shrieked. he bloo a kiss ot dekus mom “that plate of capitalism u have is cooking upped looks lovly mam”

inko blsuhed. “thanks”

“just make sure to keep the kiddo here away from any” all-for-one’hare, lowered his voice, which was hard bc he was already so short and low and close tothe flor. “trees”

inko gASPed! “of CORSE! i wil keep him away from the place where the trees once were by the Forbindden WAll u buildt with ur money to keep out the Bad COmmunist SentimentsTM”

recovery girl made shifty suspicious looks on her face “sure yea me too”

all-for-one’hare, was convinced. “I AM CONVINECED” he sed “by felicia!” he hopped on his hoverbord and hoverborded away.

inko cleaned the spaghety off the flor and recovery girl pulled deku by the leg into the backyard. “YO FUCKER U BETTER RUN UR ASS OVER THE COMMIE WALL AND GET A TREE SO U CAN START SLINGIN SOME MAD PUSS”

“but gramma im gay”

“then start slingin some nuts my d00d the POINT is get a TRE e” she scremed. “when i was, a yung boi, my ffather, took me over the wall, to see a bunch of trees, he sed son when, u grow up, dont kill them , the trees, and bring the nonbelievers, to come and plant new trees”

“k”

she siezed dekus sholders “GO FORTH CHILD BRING THE TREES SO WE CAN MAKE THEM GROW ANEW AS THE PROPHECY HAS FORETOLD, OUT BEYOND THE WALL LIVES A MYSTERIOUS MAN CALLED THE ONCE-FOR-ALLER, FIND HIM, HE WILL TELL YOU HIS TRAGIC TALE OF TREE AND BRING NEW LIFE TO THIS BARREN CAPITALIST HELLSCAPE, NOW GO”

“k” deku hopped on his totaly radicel scooter headed 2 the wall. a robot cat watched him forehsadowingly.

it was hella empty over the commie cuck wall with not even a bORger king in site!!!1! tree stumps covered the flor and clouds of smonk from a thousand vape pens darkened the sky. a ded bird lay deadly on the ground while its bird children cried over its bird corpse. it was sad. deku took a sad face selfie with the ded bird then did a sick ollie over the corpse and headed toward the mysterious shack in the distants.

the shack had  a bucket in front of the dor labeled “piss”. deku hopped on in the piss bucket “YO ONCE-FOR-ALLER U GOT KIK??” he cried. wind wistled past his ears and he coffed from the vape smoke but then the pis buckt got pulled up on a ROPE and deku found himself hOISted up to a wINdOW!!!! he stareed face to face at a pair of black eyes with blue spots in the middle like limpid tears and some long bony arms with glvovs and yaoi hands reached out to slap him.

“WHAT” he yelled “ARE YOU DOOING” he leaned closer “IN MY SWWAAAAAAMP!????”

deku wet his pants and criied. “i sutjj,,, i jstu  wann, t  a t;rree,,” he said sobbily. “i,m tr yiyng to get s enpai , t o noticnse me,, an ,n  and i  thgout,, i fi  got, hima   t,r,ree, he wo uld liek me”

“fucken millenials” snarled the once for aller “its always senpai this, thrussy that, my neck my back, my snapping-chat, wy wold i giv u a tre??”

“b-because i,, i brought u a SPAGHETTY” deku exxclaimed, pulling pounds of spagheetyi out of his pockets

the once for aller slorped up the spaghetti hongrily “ya ok i gues i can tel  u my storey now. its a dark and trageic tale of capitalism, like the star wors preqols” a tear ran down his bony old cheek. “but insted of jar jar binks thers only me, booboo the fool”

there was  a crossdissolve and suddenly they were in the once-for allers past where he was a big bara man with bara tiddies and twinky skinny geans no where near the size needed to accomodate for his phat dong. he rode along in a cariege puled by a single muel

“FASTER AIZAWA KUN” cried the once-for-aller hapily. “those proletariats arent gonna exploit themselves!”

aizawa the mule grunted sexily and plowed on, workin that tight little mule ass.

the once-for-aller started shredding out a sick nasty solo on an elextric guitar and it was RAD AS HELL as he blasted out the opening cords to jake pol’s magmnum opiss “its everyday bro”. “we gotta dab on those haters aizawa kun” said the once-for aller with  a very gay wink

aizawa the mule grunted in annoyance. he could not dab, for his sexy mule bodey had no arms.

they fond a metric shitload of trees and there were like wildlifes and shit running around. bears (like endeovor) froclikced int he woods with their hairy bara nippels exposed 2 the world, tsuyu and her frog pals swam in the woter, and tokoyami the borb boy  floo in the sky wich was pure and clean without a single trace of vape smoke. the tres looked fuckable so the once for aller busted a nut against one trunk then wipped out a glock and started shootin them down “YEHAW fuCKERS iTS HIGH NOON” he screamed in texan, his native language, as he mowed downt he trees the way present mics sexy voice mows down the pussey.

sudenly DANY DEVITO IN A FURSOOT APEARED. he was tiny and magestic and orange and so fucken valid. also he was grand toledo. “CUNT” he yelled kicking the once for aller in th e kneecaps. “THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT!!!!1! YOU CANT JUST START WEED WACKIN THES TREES WITH YOUR YANKEE DONGLE DANDY AND SHOOTING THEM WITH GUNS!1! THAT IS BAD AND WRONG! CAPTIN PLANET DIED FOR OUR SINS”

the once for aller looked down at the tiny orange man then down at his own big bulgin bara tiddes “i cold crush u 2 deth with my tiddys, maybe u shuld stay out of my way dude’

dany deveto gasped angrely. “how DARE!!1!” he screamed, punching the once-for-allers big toe. “BUDDY I WILL PERSONALLY FUCK YOUR GRAVE WITH MY OWN TWO ASSCHEEKS IF YOU SAY ONE MORE FUCKING WORD, I DEFY U TO TALK SHIT, COME AT ME SCRUBLORD IM RIPT”

“try me gardfielf” the once for aller laffed “iv ben drinkign plenty of nut milk so my boneses are helthy and Stronk”

daney devito pulled out his 20 inch thunderdong and beat the once for aller in the head with it until he was past oout on the ground. the woodland crreatures danced hapily around the bodey but then he woke up

“u kno wat” he moaned “mabye capitalism isnt so good, lets al liv together in communism and friendship, and i wont cut and/or fucc any of the trees”

danny deveto was mostly appeased. “ya ok, but if u try anymore fuckin shit ill go back in time and cuck ur grandparents.”

dannneie dievoto tried to hav the once-for aller killed on at least 10 separate occasions and the once for aller did slip in some clandestine tree fuckage now and agein, but other than that the communism and friendship was good. but everything changed went he fire nation atteacked, they defeeted endevor esily but then the once for allers slutty, sluty family showed up to REEK HAVICK :0 !!!1!

the once for allers ugley mom, sir nighteye, stepped out of their cheap car and did the anime glasses thing “toshi u commie thot” he said with distaste “stop being poor”

“but MOM” the once for aller wined “i HAV to be por! its good for the envorionemnt and my new animal frends and if i dont dany devito will beat me over the head with his massive meaty man-canoe!”

“dont b lil bitch, do a capitalism.”

the once for allers loud cosin hizashy jumped out of the wagon. “YAINT” he shrieked at 1000000 decibels, killing 90% of life on erth. “ARE WE GON FUCK SOME TREES OR WHAT”

the once for aller looked at his disproving mom, then at his loud cosin, then at the very fuckable trees. his eyes lingered on a sexy sap hole. “yea we are” he said, pulling out his gitar sexily. “how bad could it posbiley be??”

the answer was prety fucken bad as it turned out. a metric fuckton of people paid to watch the once for aller and his family fuck trees to deth by throwing moneey at them like they were stripers, but then al the tres were fucked ded!!11! the bears starved into ity bity twinks, unable to maintain the THicc, tsuyu and the frogs choked and coffed up water ful of human piss as they peed in the water while laughing in delite at the once for allers antics, and tokoyami and the birbs coffed out their organs from the clouds of vape smoke filing the sky.

soon ther was no one left. the once for allers familey left with al the money, aizawa the fuckable mule was ded, and it was just the once for aller allone in the rouns of his former capitalistc glory with only the bright yellow banana suit on his back to remind him of those days.

dani devioto looked at the once for aller with sad eyes before kciking his own ass so hard he got sent rocketing thru the stratusphere, leaving behind an imapct crater with a single word

“cunt” deku whispered softly in the present as he gazed into the crator.

the once for aller sighed sadley. “iv wondered for years and yeers wat he ment by that, but i think i understand now. unless some1 like u stops being a cunt, then nothign is gona get better, u nut”

“shit fam thats deeep” sed deku

the once for aller looked at dekus pissbaby child face. “i lost evrything to capitalism, my friends, nature, my family” teers rolled down his cheks “i even sold my organs to buy cocane and strippers so now i hav a total of 2 orgens in my hole bodey.”

“kinky”

“but we can change that!” cried the once for aller passionetely. “i am going 2 giv u a tree to plant in thneedvil so communism can return and bring back the life stole from this world with my big stick diplomacy. go now, young midorieya-shonen my boy, GO FORTH IN THE NAME OF COMMUNISM AND UN-CUNT THIS MISEREBLE WORLD!!1!”

ther was an epic radicel chase seen wher deku had to fite the The All For One’HAre Corporation Copyright TM and his grandma recovery girl did sik triks on her moped and deku almost but not quite got to kis todorki senpai but they made it to the town square.

deku held todorokis hands and tenderly put the baby tre in it “here” he sed “take my seed”

todoroky noded solemly. “i hav never wanted anything more than to be given ur seed midoreya” he was about 2 plant the seed in the ground when all for one’hare appered! “NOT SO FAST FUCKHOLES” he yelled capitalistically. “this TRee is COMMuNISM!!1!” he cried to the townspeople. “do u RELLY want to be FILTHY COMMIES???”

“Commies hate micdonaleds!!1” screamed one impassoned townsperson.

“LETS BOIL THEM IN OIL” some one else agred.

“but guys wait!!!” deku cried “dont u want like, nature n shit?”

“CAPITALISTS WANT TO REPLACE EVERY REMOTELY FUCKABLE PERSON WITH A TREE” all for one’hare screamed

teh twonspoeple gasps, thens tarted chanting for deku todo and grandma to get boiled in oil

deku sweated nervosly “um but,, treees,, r good?”

“OIL OIL OIL”

“BACK IN MY DAY WE FUCKED TREES AND WE LIKED IT” recovery girl rored!

that was acomeplling argument. the boil in ooil chanting slowed

all for one turned to his henchperson stain “STAIN” he yelled “TEL THESE HIPPY DIPPY COMMIE TREE FUCKERS WHAT WE REALLY THINK OF THIS CAPTEN PLANET B-ROLL BULLSHIT”

stain cleered his throt and burst into magnificent song “let it gro let it gro, so we can have trees to bone” he sang. he was The Ultimate ChadTM so every1 agreed with him imediately. they throow all for one’hare into a pit of spiders where eh was eten and killed and planted the seed in the fertile butthole of the earth wher it could blosom and gro.

in the folowing yeers trees started groiwng beyond the wals and the once for aller crawled out of his shame sahck to water them with his nut as an act of penanc.e

slowly, magesticsally, danny devito in a fursewt flew down from the sky. “ya done good cunt” he grunted, tenderly slapping the once for allers boney ass with his furry orange old man boner. “ya done good.”

they both floated up to gay heaven by their ass skins wher the once for allers big bara past self greeted them with open arms. “all of ur trubles are ogre” he whispered tenderly in their tidditlyated ears. 

the once for aller caressed his past self “oh oncey” he whispered sweetly “are u shure we should do this?? can u even,,, oh, how can u love me in this broken down form??” 

past once for aller smiled and did the kabedon thing with his future self who whimpered arousedly and blushed carnelian. “its not who we are on the outside” he shoved his entire arm up his entire ass“its who we are inside” 

danney devito cheered the once for allers on as they fucked together for all of eterneity and it was very communiest teh end 

#bnha #all might #deku #lorax au #selfcest #i managed to work it in #at the very end #i Had TO