#im also like. mad bc if they wake up my nephew im the one who has to go in there and put him back to bed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boy-above · 19 days

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i'm really upset basically my mom brought a cat home last year (rescued stray) and despite both me and my dad not wanting to keep him my mom kept him anyway. i told my mom that i didn't want a male cat because there's a good chance he'd spray in our house but she didn't care, and then she waited WAY too long to get him neutered despite me regularly telling her to please do it because he Did start spraying in our house. and you know where he was spraying most? on my stuff. i just had to clean up SO much piss in my basement craft room. on the walls, on my table, on my carpet, on my stuffed animals. i had to throw away stuff because it was saturated in piss. the cat tree my dad HAND MADE for me was covered in piss. when i told my mom a few weeks ago that She had to be the one to clean that because it was her cat and her fault she said "can't we just throw it away?" which made me so angry because like i said my dad made that for me. he peed on some of my build-a-bears which are really important to me and i had to throw away one of their wigs bc it was so bad. i'm going to tell her she needs to buy a replacement and if she complains i'll be even more upset.

it makes me so angry because if he'd been spraying on HER stuff this whole time, she would have been angry and she would have gotten him neutered much sooner. but she took her sweet fucking time because it was My Stuff and she didn't care. and she's probably going to be mad at Me when she wakes up and im angry at her, because no one has a right to be angry in this house except for her. if the roles were reversed she'd be threatening to kick me and the cat out of the house but she'd never admit that.

the worst part is that she's the one who brought the cat home but she doesn't even like the cat much now because he likes my dad more than her. she was like "i want an animal that's just my own" but was upset when he liked someone else more, so she got ANOTHER cat, cornbread, after that. and then you know what happened? she didn't think cornbread was affectionate enough so she brought a dog home. now we have so many extra animals me and my dad never wanted. my mom used to be an animal hoarder and we finally got the problem under control but it seems to have reared its ugly head again.

speaking of hoarding, my mom is also a hoarder in general. thankfully not enough that our floors are covered or anything, but she's insufferable in the fact that she'll hardly part with anything. she basically never donates anything and insists on selling everything, but she's too lazy to actually Do the selling so it sits around forever. i keep telling her that there's less fortunate people who could really use the stuff, including baby clothes from when my nephew was little (he's ten now. it's been sitting around for a decade.) one time she spent like 15 minutes digging through my trash to get a mcdonald's toy i'd thrown out, and then boasted about getting ten cents for it at a yard sale. i told her digging through trash is not normal and is invasive and weird but she doesn't think so. she digs through my trash semi-regularly and i just Know she's going to dig through the piss soaked stuff i just threw out and be angry that i'm trying to throw it out because it can ~totally be cleaned~ but i'm telling her that if she wants it she can deal with it and keep it somewhere she can smell it because i'm Not dealing with it.

life is a fucking nightmare sometimes. please assure me that digging through trash isn't normal because she seriously tries to gaslight me into thinking it is

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 4 years

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Chris Evans masterlist

Chris Evans HC

Going on a road trip with Chris and kiddos (headcannon)

Being married to Chris Evans would include(headcannon)

Chris Evans Imagines

imagine chris seeing you with a kid

imagine chris talking about the day you got married

imagine:chris broke up with you before you could tell him your pregnant

imagine:you and chris divorced and have two kids together/maybe it not to late to get back together

imagine chris talking about your twins

imagine chris seeing you for the first time

Imagine Chris seeing you with a kid after 2 years of being broken up (fluff)

Imagine Chris seeing you in a beautiful dress at an award show

Imagine your son thinking your so beautiful and he doesn’t want Chris to see you

Imagine Chris finding out his 3 year old has a boyfriend

Imagine your kids finding out that Chris is captain America

Imagine Chris being your neighbor and you wondering why didn’t put on pants.

Imagine Chris feeling like he failed as a father

Imagine Chris watching you play with his niece and nephew and he can’t help wonder how amazing you would be as a mom

Imagine Chris and your son telling the paparazzi no pictures

Imagine your son regret eating Wasabi

Imagine telling Chris that you want to make him a daddy on father’s day ~ smut

Chris Evans prompts

mamas boy 9&58

make me 48

i can’t keep kissing stranger and pretending their you 1,14&33

i forgive you 11

please marry me 32

hey just breath 29&10

92 and 84( smut)

76 and 91 ( angst, smut, fluff)

4 and 99(sad)

15 and 85(slightly angst, fluff)

quarantine proposal(fluff)

big fight (angst, fluff), breath with me (fluff)

shoulder pain(fluff)

thirsty tweet reveal (fluff)

he’s okay (angst, fluff, daddy Chris), period(fluff)

54&56(smut)

50,54,59(smut)

68&72(smut)

68,69,72(smut)

31,50,72(smut)

16,40(fluff)

Chris Evans:

exes to lover

8 letter

haters

accident happen how you think we …

heart eyes

daddy little fan

build a bear v teddy bear

baby love

falling like the stars

all way by your side

i will always protect you

rain can’t ruin the fun

give me nickname

your not a real fan

don’t touch her

im sorry

will you be there

i love you just the way you are

little valentine

best valentine day ever

admire your beauty

kick ass boyfriend

you and chris in quarantine

focus on my breathing

panic attack

sweater wearing dorks

i’m not good enough for you

moving to boston

beautiful in his eyes

have each other

strong mama

jealous chris

wear a longer skirt next time

i’m bored

that hurt my feelings

animal crossing

A place to sit ( smut)

Hot model (fluff, slightly smut)

Beautiful in his eyes ( fluff)

What!(angst, fluff)

Love me (smut)

Please forgive me(angst, fluff)

Bikini fun(smut, slight fluff)

Brazilian girl(smut)

Window (smut)

Hands(smut)

Dad’s friend (smut)

Chris Evans Fluff:

Not worth it || angst

You are the reason || fluff

Plane cancellation || fluff

Skype call || fluff

Back off, he’s mine || fluff, light Angst

Everything okay || fluff, light Angst

Social anxiety || fluff

Workout or dance party || fluff

Chris Evans Smut:

Fuck it || smut

Quick quiet sex || smut

Stuck with u || smut

Tapes || smut

His fingers are accurate || smut

Wild wet dream || smut

CEO barber || smut

Language || smut

Such a good mouth || smut

One bed || smut

Not so innocent maid || smut

Bathtub || smut

Daddy Chris:

Princess Chris ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Dance with me ( fluff, daddy Chris)

cuddle and kisses ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Late night protection (fluff, daddy Chris)

No kissing mama ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Helping daddy (fluff, daddy Chris)

Junk food convinced (fluff, daddy Chris)

3 month old talker( fluff, daddy Chris)

Twins ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Workout distraction (fluff, daddy Chris)

Reading a book (fluff, daddy Andy)

She’s growing up too fast (fluff, daddy Chris)

Little sister love (fluff, daddy Chris)

Shuts that out (fluff, daddy Andy)

Finally princesses (fluff, daddy Chris)

Busted (fluff, daddy Chris)

Bubbles (fluff, daddy Chris)

Not little anymore (fluff, daddy Chris)

New best friend (fluff, daddy Chris)

Skin to skin (fluff, daddy Chris)

Hungry baby, no (fluff, daddy Chris)

Peas (fluff, daddy Chris)

What are you doing Papa(fluff,daddy Chris)

Meeting little brother(fluff, daddy Chris)

Quarantine with kiddos(fluff, daddy Chris)

Mother’s day || dad! Chris

Memories || dad! Chris

Winnie the Pooh ||dad! Chris

Puppies || dad! Chris

Shy || dad! Chris

Bring us together || dad! Chris

Curly hair || dad! Chris

Quarantine baby || dad! Chris

Strawberries || dad! Chris

Bake a cake || dad! Chris

Sugar party || dad! Chris

Cuddles || dad! Chris

Morning with the Evans || dad! Chris

Disneyland || dad! Chris

FaceTime || dad! Chris

Pool day || dad! Chris

Big hands || dad! Chris

Not food || dad! Chris

Chris Evans oneshots:

Target - you lied and told Chris that you and your daughter weren’t going to target. He catches you both ~ Fluff

Double trouble maker - your twins break something and hide behind you, even though Chris isn’t mad ~ Fluff

Birthday special - Summary: it’s Chris’s birthday and since you both are still in quarantine, you want to give him a little show at home ~ smut

legal | Request : you wrote some dad figure!tom x teen actress!reader, can i get one with Chris Evans? maybe reader has been emancipated for awhile now n despite the fact that she’s been raising herself for a long time now, she still needs that parently guidance and maybe chris gives her that??? i hope that’s ok!! -🌙 ~ Fluff

Twins - I have a request, I was wondering if u can do a request, where the reader is African American and he and Chris are expecting towns, but they revel the news to Chris’s parents and your parents and also both of y’all grandparents?? ~ Fluff

Work this out - Can I request chris or henry tried to work through there divorce but end up with cute moments working it out ~ fluff

Princess - your Andy princess ~ smut

Surprise - I had another idea, what if Chris was being interviewed and you and your guys daughter who’s 4, came and surprised him, but once your daughter saw Chris she runs up to him and yells daddy!! - Fluff

Fort - Summary: it’s a rainy day and you, Chris, and your son build a fort ~ Fluff

Slobbery kisses - Chris wakes up to sloppy kisses by his baby ~ Fluff

Can’t sleep without you - Hi! can I request something where Chris and the reader had an argument and Chris goes to sleep in the couch, but in the middle of the night, the reader go to sleep with him there? Thanks! ~ slightly Angst, Fluff

Make up - Just after that quick one about fighting and sleeping separately could you do a quick imagine on the make up sex pls :)) ty ~ smut, Fluff

Tough guy -Can I ask for an imagine about the reader fighting with her husband Chris, about his family and the fight ending in rough sex? ❤ ~ kinda dark, smut

Giraffe slippers - Chris can’t get over your son’s giraffe slippers ~ Fluff

Switzerland - Summary: you, Chris and your son go on vacation to beautiful Switzerland ~ Fluff

Velvet - I found these prompts. They’re perfect ~ Fluff, implied smut

I’m scared, but I love you - Can u make where on how will cevans admit to a girl that he likes (or falling for) her and the girl is scared bc of the risk of dating him (privacy, fame, hate) and chris tells her he’s scared too but he’s willing to take a risk bc he can’t afford to see u w/ anyone else ~ Fluff

Interviewer - Summary: your a black interviewer and Chris couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. - smut, Fluff

Red dress - Request: After the oscars or whatever awards with Chris Evans, reader wearing a really sexy dress and even sexier lingerie ~ Fluff, implied smut

Softy -Request: Imagine Chris when he has a baby 🥺 I can honestly imagine how in love he’s gonna be in the delivery room getting handed his child. That man seriously makes my heart melt ~ Fluff

Who are you? - Request: can i request an image where chris comes back from filming and has a beautiful beard, but his baby daughter didn’t recognize him ~ Fluff

Empty theater - Request: you and chris go to the theaters and find out you two are the only one in the showing. You’re pretty invested into the movie and Chris is just horny 3000. He’s tryna fool around and you disregard him until he grabs your hand and puts it on his crotch and says in that insanely attractive Boston accent, “feel how hah’d you got me??” shweaty🤤 ~ smut

What moving in with Chris is like ~ Fluff

Long hair lover - Request: Can you write an imagine where Chris came back from filming red sea diving resort and his baby daughter is crazy in love with his long hair? ~ Fluff

Mean girl - Request: Hi, can you write one where the reader runs into a mean girl from school at supermarket and the girl start to brag for just saw Chris Evans. She doesn’t know that the reader is his wife, so the the mean girl has a little surprise when Chris find his wife at the line or something. ~ Fluff, slightly angst

Episode - Request: Hey are you taking request? I’m dark skinned chocolate and I’d love for Chris to comfort reader during a depressive episode. She’s the life of the party and she’s a new actress, not popular but she met Chris through mutual friends and he’s realized she’s been isolating herself lately, so he stops by her apt. to check in on her. She feels like she’s losing her mind. You can add smut. 😉 reader usually feels better after an episode buts its a serious battle and having support helps tremendously.😊 ~ Fluff, smut

Romantic day - Request: So Chris was asked in an interview if he ever had anyone do anything romantic for him and he had a hard time remembering. Can you write a fic where his girlfriend does something romantic for him? Like on a tooth rotting level of fluff. ~ fluff

Piglet - your daughter dress up as piglet from Winnie the Pooh ~ fluff

Bathroom and mirror - Request: Hey, I was wondering if I could request being at a party with Chris and he goes to the bathroom and you follow only for him to lift you on to the sink and eat your 🐱 then bend you over and fuck you hard watching you in the mirror ~ smut

Pink ribbon - Request: Okay but like I had this imagine in my head, like Chris is recording a video of his babygirl which is two months and he’s recording a video to help people with wants happening in the world to make then smile and then you hear a “grrr” and he’s like yes my daughter did learn how to growl before speaking thanks to dodger ! And he’s like so in love with the cutest bean to ever live ! And wife!reader be like watching this as she growls,dodger being proud! -🥺💕 ~ Fluff

Migraine - Request: Take as much time as you need 😜. I was about reader working at home on quarantine and she has this migraine so Chris takes care of her?? Could be a drabble, hc, blurb, whatever you wanna make of it ~ Fluff

Childhood bedroom - Request: Reader and Chris having sex in Chris’s childhood room when they visit his parents for a holiday (whichever you want) and Scott walking in on them ~ smut

Boomerang - Request: Can I request Chris Evans x Reader age gap where its her 10 high school reunion and back in high school she was over weight and was teased for it. Now she isnt and is engaged to Chris, but at the reunion she gets told by like an ex boyfriend an ex friend that Chris will leave her if she gets her weight back. Chris over hears this and is upset by it. Also could they make a remark like she is gaining weight again but she is pregnant like three months with a tiny bump (Maybe smut) Thank you ~ Angst, smut

Period - Request: can you do one abt chris when his girl is on her period ~ Fluff

4am car ride - Summary: at 4 in the morning Chris wakes you up to go on a car ride ~ Fluff

No Oscars - Request: Concept: reader consoling chris after he comes back from the oscars without any wins ~ Angst, fluff

Morning with the Evans - Summary: morning with 6 kiddos, 4 going to school. ~ Fluff

Wanna help? - Request: Hi there! What about Chris is in his bed reading a book as his wife were doing her routine of moisturizing her body and he start staring at her and she asks if he want to do the job for her. ~ smut

Mommy isn’t hot she’s warm

Message therapist - Request: I’m a massage therapist. I would love to see a wondering with CE and a therapist. She gets a one in a lifetime opportunity to massage the one and only, he sees her small stature and does not think she’ll be able to help him, but he is pleasantly surprised. He takes one look at her, and get simplicity and naturalness intrigues and consumes him. He’s on a mission to make her his, she’s wary. She’s wary because of her past and of what his intentions are. And doesn’t trust him right away. @creae7881 ~ Fluff

America’s ass - Summary: you make Chris celebrate that ass on its birthday `~ Fluff

Mechanic - Request: Hi! Wondering if you could make a story where Chris falls for a girl that’s a mechanic. I’ve been looking to pictures of the car Downey gifted him. She can be the one who built it. Thanks ~ @arabescapr ~ Fluff

Angry at you - Summary: Chris has to do some work and his daughter wants to play, but he can’t. She doesn’t like that. ~ Fluff

Virgin till married - Request: Hey! I really love your five and am a huge fan of your writing! Is there a way you could write a Chris fanfic in which the reader is a virgin and wants to save herself for marriage and it’s their honeymoon and she is gonna have sex for the first time with husband Chris.😙❤ It can be fluff and smut. Thank you! ~ smut

Secretly - Request: I have a request for Chris. Where the reader is a beautiful black plus-size woman and she and Chris are secretly dating, and one day they are spotted out and Chris panics and he has an interview and the interviewer asked him “who’s this girl u were spotted with” and Chris says I don’t know he personally she’s just a fan, and the reader watches the interview and gets heartbroken so she blocks him and changing a the locks to her house, and Chris finds out that she watched the interview. For the plus size request for Chris. I have to send another ask for same request because I didn’t have enough room to finish, but the reader starts avoiding and ignoring Chris, and Chris tries to get the reader to talk to him by showing up at her work, or bringing her flowers or her favorite food but she declines until one day she gets home and he’s on her doorstep and she starts walking by him ignoring him and he asks her just to talk to him please. Can there be a happy ending. ~ @briannab1234 ~ Angst, Fluff

After the show - Request: I’m sort of obsessed with the idea an anon sent in about the reader being a singer and her performing on stage and then him getting her home! I don’t know if you’re doing that already but if not can I request it for Chris Evans pleaseee ~ smut

Midnight return ~ Fluff, dad! Chris

You+me=perfect - Request: Hi! Just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and fell in love with your writing. I know requests are closed, but when you have time, could you do one where Chris and Reader (age gap) like each other and they know and everybody knows but when Reader makes a move he rejects her because since he wants a family he thinks reader is not ready for that. Please happy ending, 2020 is already too stressful :)~ Angst, Fluff

Your producing ice? - Request:Writing idea? Yk that game that Chris played with Jimmy Fallon where they poured the ice water down each other’s pants. Yeah yeah yeah. Just imagine going to give Chris a bj in the dressing room or something and there’s ice In his pants -🥺 but confused ~ smut, Fluff

Wine and sunset - Summary: you and Chris have been together for 3 years and now you got married to him. You both are on your honeymoon. He can’t help but keep his hands off of you. ~ smut, Fluff

No kissing ~ fluff,dad! Chris

At last I see the light - Request: Hi, can you please write Chris Evans x reader when he’s on the Graham Show and the other guest is a singer he have a crush on, she perform a song she recorded for the ‘We Love Disney’s album and he’s just in admiration please? ~ Fluff

Another princess?! - Summary: your pregnant and you and Chris finally figure out the gender of your baby. ~ Fluff

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #submission #Chris Evans imagines #Chris Evans x female reader #chris evans x plus size reader #chris Evans smut #dad!chris evans #Chris Evans x ofc

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milf-harrington · 2 years

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BOOK EMOJI BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK

VEE LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT MY BELOVED ARISTOCATS AU - technically ive written scenes for it but ive not actually written the fic so i think it still counts

okay so it's sokka as duchess, zuko as thomas o'malley and katara, aang and toph as the kittens!!!!

so they still have a sort of fancy estate but it's a farm instead of a mansion?? but it's like. a Good Farm. idk how to explain it but proper farms with livestock and crops are lowkey for rich-ish people bc the maintenance and shit is Expensive anyway im off topic now

so Hakoda is talking to Bato one day about who he wants to leave the farm too, and naturally he says his kids bc obviously??? but HAHN (fucker) who is like. sort of the head of the staff is Mad bc for some reason he had this weird twisted notion that the farm should go to him because he's the oldest and he's Hakoda's nephew (idk man) so he's like "nah fuck that im gonna kidnap them" and then he does bc he's nothing if not dedicated to evil schemes so he oh-so-innocently offers to help Kanna prepare lunch and he spikes it with tranqs to knock them out and then just kind of chucks them in the back of the farm ute bc he's dedicated but bad at executing the plans

anyway so his idea is to drive the however many hours to the coast to stuff them in a cargo ship but the dude doesnt even make it a quarter of the way before his tires get taken out by a spike trap that was laid out by Jet and his Freedom fighters who are just a group of kids who live in a windmill and only really turn to thievery when they're desperate (or bored enough) and anyway theres that whole fuckery of hahn being like "fuck off??" and jet being like "no gimme your car keys" but its a little more chaotic and violent and in the drama of it all guess who just... slips off the back of the ute?? correct: hahns kidnapping victims

anyway so the gang wake up in the morning like "wait a fucking minute-" and sokka's lowkey freaking out bc he's the oldest and therefore the responsible one and toph is like "IT WAS HAHN" and katara and aang are like "well that doesnt sound right" and that's when zuko, who is singing like thomas does bc i said so, just appears, balancing on the bridge railing and then he sees sokka and he's like "oh. hello there?"

and then zuko, after a big ol' internal fight with himself bc "Ugh he doesnt WANT to help these random strangers but Aang and Katara seem so earnest and Toph is weirdly compelling in a gremlin sort of way and Sokka's cute", decides to help them find their way home

anyway so the usual stuff happens

they illegally hitch a ride on the back of a dairy truck then get caught and chased away

toph falls off the train bridge and zuko dives in after her

they meet the "geese" who this time is just Aunt Wu and that herbalist who told Aang to get the frozen frogs for Sokka and Katara that one time and ive decided to call her Miyu bc i know her cats name is Miyuki but you never really learn the actual Herbalists name and anyway yeah they rescue zuko's dumbass when he cant get out of the river

hahn realises he's going to need to steal his stuff back from Jet before the police find it and figure out that he's the one who kidnapped Hakodas kids- EXCEPT SUKI (roquefort/the farm hand) AND JIN (frou-frou/stable hand) overheard him talking to himself about it and they're like "it was HIM we have to stop him"

the gaang says goodbye to Aunt Wu and Miyu in town, and zuko takes them to the abandoned loft that he lives in so they can sleep and keep going in the morning

the classic "looks like scat cat and his gang of alley cats are here" except it's azula, mai and ty lee and azula's lowkey this little mad scientist who is also an excellent electrician who finally decided to fix zuko's power

so they all meet and mingle and become somewhat friends

THE CLASSIC "wow, your eyes are like sapphires" SCENE THAT INSPIRED THE WHOLE AU

alas the gaang returns home despite sokkas heart firmly belonging to zuko, who stands at the gate and watches them go until they reach the porch

they see suki in the top window and think she's waving at them, but right at the last minute sokka remembers that suki only ever comes inside to pester them, otherwise she's out working on the farm so what was she doing upstairs in the only lockable room??

*evil music* hahn knocks them out as soon as they get inside and ties them up and stuffs them in the barn and locks it

jin manages to shimmy out of the window bc she's smaller than suki and it always gets stuck half way, and tries to get into the barn but sokka manages to get his gag off and yells at her to find zuko

she fins him and then HE tells her to run into town and find Azula, and then he says "but say Zuko sent you or she might tase you" and jins like "SHE'LL WHAT??" anyway she goes and finds them and azula almost tases her bc jin cant remember zukos fucking name but then she's like "oh fuck zuko for this honestly" and then azulas like "oh wait okay whats going?"

so then azula and everyone run to the barn to find the zuko has managed to break it open (of course) and is now in the middle of punching Hahn and then EVERYONE is fighting hahn bc fuck him but while that's happening zuko unties the gaang and he and sokka kiss (finally lol) and then they all knock hahn out and stuff HIM in the crate he was going to stuff the gaang into

and then yeah hakoda finds out about everything and hes like "what the fuck" but zuko and his sister are welcomed into the family and azula and jin totally fall in love while azula is fixing the lights in the barn bc it takes ages bc they're old and she decides to just replace everything and re-do the wiring bc she's a perfectionist

anyway it's something they laugh about when they're older but at the moment zuko can't let any of them out of his sight and the kids all share a bed and they all have to watch kanna make their food or do it themselves otherwise they can't eat it bc i'm incapable of not exploring characters trauma after traumatic events (:

#my favourite au that i havent written yet but really want to write #asks #littlespoonsokka #vee #thank you So Much for giving the me chance to ramble about this #fic ideas

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