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#im dedicated alright
acaesic · 3 months
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why do i like dallon weekes so much. how did i get to this point in my life
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b4kuch1n · 3 months
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took a mock ielts test today
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boxwinebaddie · 3 months
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CAN WE HEAR ABT WTF IS IN RAVEN'S RED VIAL?? IM SO CURIOUS AND DONT HAVE A SINGLE CLUE
OH!!! YES!!! TOTALLY!!!!!
raven actually unlatches the top and lets kyle give it a whiff in part three of the ravesey hate which, yes being that close to raven's lip and neck gave jersey kyle mental problems ( in additon to the other ones ) also omg so much happens in p3. i will write p2 today ( i'll try to be more eloquent and thorough than last time ), also if someone could send me an ask so i have a place to put it that would be grand.
but yes...*cracks knuckles* The Vial. <3
if we can recall, the vial thing looks like this. it's just on a big silver chain, it's a heart shaped glass vial, that is giving mysterious sexy ~vampire~ energies me thinks. the liquid in it is...Crimson, of course.
and raven seems to...Sniff it? when he is stressed?
okay, weird king? go off?? to the mental hospital? shdlkshd lmaooo
tbh, it's actually not that exciting; so sorry to let y'all down. also, i accidentally bumbled and fumbled ( yes, i do fumble things besides women, smh ) that info and in an ask about what raven and jersey smell like, i fucking...talked about the vial. like OOOF! after chap one came out, really earlier before i made the vial mysterious.
but the red vial...
...is eucalyptus scented essential oil dyed w/ red food coloring.
which, sounds really weird bc wtf???? but it's because, like most mexican moms, sharon was convinced that vicks vaporub solved all the worlds problems LMAO like she used to slather stan and shelley with vicks vaporub. they were tearing up 25/8. stan would have a SKINNED KNEE and sharon would whip the jar out like oH MY GOD MAMA NOT THE VAPORU!! like stan would RUUUUUN loooooool
but...now that shes gone...on really bad days, when locks his door and cries in his room and feels seven years old again, all he wants is his mom singing something lightly in spanish and rubbing vicks vaporub on his back & making everything better again...I AM FUCKING SAD.
but yeah, the smell just calms him down when he's having a Stannic Attack and he has a lot of them because he's not good at being a celebrity and he has really severe ptsd. so yeah! The Vial! haha.
also the tiny pill kenny gave jimmy to give to ravenstan...
...was a Xanax lmaooooo.
-uncle nina, producer of mediocre lore
p.s. speaking of mediocre lore involving sharon, sharon also was supersitious and spiritual growing up
( it was a whole thing where the town of sp was calling sharon a witch which was super racist and misogynistic! people fear what they don't understand!! also wow super cool guys!! the one latina woman!!! that's where ur gonna throw all ur bigoted hate! anyways one time in the grocery store, linda stotch accused sharon and stan of her and her d*ughter cursing sp w/ witchcraft" and sharon SMACKED! her and was like Maybe I Am A Bruja But At Least I'm Not A Bitch! and then was like come on stan, we're leaving. and before she left she went *boo!* and linda stotch screamed lollll...ICON BEHAVIOR!!!! like not only did she crack the Hell out of linda but she validated stans gender identity and used his name :’)
anyways she used to read tarot all the time and stan thought she was just being kind of insane...but now that he misses her...he also does consult the cards often...he also reads all the cd boys tarot <3 )
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consciouschunkofmoss · 4 months
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butchdykekondraki · 3 months
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haii yes im still here. im just having fun and laughing at you. ^_____^
men will want to be lesbians and then be sooo pissed when actual lesbians behave lesbianly
ok ill answer this one bc its not like. AS BAD. anyway this is so funny is anyone else seeing this i feel like im going fucking crazy
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Right??? Thanks so much! I actually first fell in love with Jo's character when RGGJo's voice lines came out haha, so it's super fun to be able to share them.
But I can think of a couple of reasons for the wild personality gap, and for me it starts at their respective roles. Obviously main antagonist and major supporting character are going to draw different levels of attention to themselves, but I think it's chiefly that RGGJo is not just Jo, but he's both Jo and Masato as one character.
RGGJo is much, much closer in age to Ichi, and though they're not "twins" like Ichi and Masato are (RGGJo is a little more than 2 years older), it's thematically there I think. The whole "twin dragonfish," dark and light, two sides of the same coin kind of thing.
And just as Ichi was initially conceptualized as a sort of "greatest hits compilation" of the previous protagonists' most compelling traits, I think there's a strong case for RGGJo being the same for the previous antagonists--specifically Nishiki, Ryuji, and Mine, who are pretty clearly Yokoyama's favorites anyway lol.
I have a feeling casting has something to do with it as well. RGGJo's actor, Hiroki Takahashi, is actually the exact same age as he is, and he's voiced his fair share of fun, flamboyant villains. If I wanted to speculate, he's also voiced his fair share of BL, so that may be why RGGJo's voice lines have a Certain Slant to them; directing his delivery to capitalize on his established appeal (although he has quite a range) makes sense.
Tsutsumi is also only a few years off from Y7Jo, and he was cast for having the dignity and screen presence to "make every word feel like it might have a deeper meaning." Yokoyama (and Takeuchi) wrote the games, he and Nagoshi handled the casting, and Yokoyama generally handles the voice direction for the main story, so a lot of it's specific to his vision.
Within that context I think it's relevant that he wrote Y7Jo while picturing Tsutsumi specifically. RGGJo was more malleable and less "consequential" in terms of the franchise, so, y'know, why not have a little fun with it? I think that's reflected in their designs as well. RGGJo's is larger-than-life while Y7Jo's is relatively subdued.
Overall, I get the sense RGGJo's role is more akin to "son" and "brother," (aniki, if you will), like Masato, whereas Y7Jo's role is more akin to "co-parent" and "father" and I guess "Evil Stepdad" in a Cinderella kind of way. It's not exact across the board, it's not literal across the board, but it's the archetype, right? And I think that does, exactly like you said, have far-reaching consequences for their backgrounds and who they've become as a result.
BTW, you actually are up to speed on Ichi's story, because uh… that's where it stops lol. It was discontinued at roughly the equivalent of the start of Chapter 12 in 7; the rest of the story was written, but not published. It Kills Me.
But I think, despite any concrete backstory, the implication for RGGJo is that (if I assume he joined earlier than Ichi, which would make sense given he's captain), he was at most 18 or 19 when he joined, and he's exactly the same kind of Arakawa fanboy Ichi is. The 15th anniversary book goes on to say he "was purely in love with [Arakawa]'s greatness" and so cannot tolerate the idea of allowing him to live and die in obscurity at the bottom rungs, of Arakawa being in a position not equivalent to his "greatness" in his eyes.
But Ichi thinks that's regardless of what Arakawa himself may want, since RGGJo is apparently not going to stop until he makes him chairman, which the Arakawa Ichi knows wouldn't really care about. I think there's an interesting mix of selflessness and selfishness in his desires that reminds me of Mine.
And that's explicitly as opposed to Y7Jo, whose loyalty remains the same, but whose feelings and motivations are complicated by the existence of Masato; the usage of "purely" before is notable here, as another suitable translation would be "uncomplicatedly," which to me would suggest that degree of admiration is a component of his loyalty in 7 as well.
So I think you're absolutely right the circumstances with Masato are a major aspect of what's going on with Y7Jo. It's inextricable because he's got this immense gratitude towards Arakawa for raising his son and also a need, a primary driving force, to be a part of his son's life at (almost) all costs. The natural result of that is going to be reluctance to do anything that tips the balance.
I think that's one of the things that make him so compelling, he's forced to make a lot of tough, meaningful decisions and there's often (but not always) no right answer. And that's really clear to see with Aoki, as you say.
(Kind of a side note, but somewhat contrary to the above, Masato may actually have existed in RGGO's timeline. There was a comment from Yokoyama or Takeuchi suggesting he's not in RGGO not because he simply "doesn't exist, but specifically because Arakawa may not have opened the right locker or may not have made it to the lockers in time. I guess the other implication would be that Masato would've been Arakawa's biological son in RGGO instead, since RGGJo would've been too young and there was no need for a switcheroo? It was just an off-hand comment, but it's interesting to think about.)
Also, loved your tags haha. It's SO funny you start off like you're going to say something crazy and then it turns out to actually be something I wanted to write about in the previous ask, but that I cut out because I couldn't make it flow. I guess it might just be the case that I'm crazy on the same wavelength?
But yes! I think a lot of the time, impressions of that aspect Jo's backstory sort of begin and end at Evil Stepdad Perpetuates Cycle Of Abuse, perhaps understandably, but there's genuinely so much that's established in both his and Arakawa's backstories that have clearly stayed with them that I'm positive your take on it is at the very least least true to the character, whether or not it's intentional.
Because like, Arakawa and Jo both came from abusive households. And they're both affected by Aoki's "parental abuse" (although Aoki doesn't know it himself, I guess he doesn't need to). But the way Arakawa has always dealt with abuse is defiance; I think the implication of one of the first scenes is that that's how he got his scar. Jo, on the other hand, has always dealt with abuse with avoidance. Running away. Brushing it under the rug, like he says he and Ikumi had done all their lives; I think that statement's fairly clearly linked to abuse and neglect.
And I think that shows both in Arakawa and Jo's respective responses to traditional authority figures and in how they choose to handle things with Aoki. Arakawa defies Aoki's plans in his own way at every turn, and he ends up getting killed for it. Jo, on the other hand, ignores it until there's nothing left to do but sever himself completely, in the same way there was nothing left to do back then but run. IT'S SO. Ugh.
Each Jo's respective role in the overall plot of their stories definitely plays a part in why they turn out different from each other the way they do; it's interesting to see how RGG decided to handle Jo's character to sort of 'adjust him' to fit better as more of a background figure than The Big Bad, and to especially see how his relationships end up is spectacular. Choosing to divide that devotion between his son and his boss in Y7 is something I'm just positively obsessed with: it's clear he joined the yakuza predominantly for Masato's sake, but the concept of Jo gradually coming to genuinely respect Arakawa as an individual opposed to someone that he just happens to have to follow after because his son's involved heightens him as a character for me (I might have to write a side piece on the psyche of Jo- there's just a bunch of aspects to him that I want to explore better and really intrigue me, but I refuse to try and squeeze any of that into this long-as-is answer lmao).
I definitely recognize Ryuji and Mine the easiest in RGGJo (Mine's influence still persists a bit in Y7 to me, if not solely for his devotion and his own version of The Knife Scene existing as The Eye Scene; though Jo's anger wasn't purely due to Arakawa's death in that scene like Mine's was due to Daigo's 'death', it was clear Arakawa's passing was a sore subject). Jo's dedication to Arakawa in RGGO really is totally reminiscent of Mine's devotion to Daigo: both willing to take drastic measures to secure the ones they idolize the spot they feel they deserve and to exterminate any opposition to that dream (if I'm remembering Mine's RGGO story right wherein he partakes in the Okinawa deal as a HUGE ploy just to secure Daigo remains chairman should he wake up, but I don't have to clarify how that didn't go as planned).
As for Nishiki, it's clear Jo borrows his 'position' in the story, just as Ichi obviously takes Kiryu's. To yoink a phrasing from another ask I got, they're 'dark parallels': though they both clearly want the best for Arakawa, they're going about it in different ways (in that sense, Y7Arakawa's line about him seeing the Arakawa Family as his 'sons' makes this situation a little funny: just two kids fighting each other for what's best for their dad lmao). It's a shame the story didn't go on any more after the Millenium fight, but I'm a little happy knowing in that I'm not missing anything (what I will scratch my head over is what RGGOMasato would've been like. I guess it's not exactly certain whether or not he survived The Locker Incident or he was just so considerably normal he wasn't worth bringing up, but regardless I'll have a ponder about it..). It'd be rad if RGG ever decided to release at least the drafts of the rest of the story one day, but I won't hold my breath.
I've peaked over at Takahashi's past roles (I didn't realize he's voiced so many characters I know omg), and I think that's a fair conclusion to come to: he repertoire combines characters with sort of 'harsh' tones to their voices/dialogue, but as you said he does benefit from having voiced some 'lighter' characters! As for Tsutsumi, I think I've made it a little clear on my blog that I've taken time to look at his past projects, and though I haven't seen all of his roles, Jo's an interesting inclusion to his list (but by no means an inappropriate fit. If I were to compare him to one of Tsutsumi's past roles, Nobunaga Oda from Honnouji Hotel is similar in being an intimidating man with a violent reputation but still having a 'soft'/deeper side). It gets more fun when I think of it: Tsutsumi, from what I can gather, is a tad renowned for playing loving fathers (whether they're perfect fathers depends on the character, but they all absolutely adore their kid/family- this might be the only time I've seen him play a father and he isn't doting on his kid, lmao). Yokoyama and Nagoshi are definitely masters at deciding who should play who and how to utilize their talents efficiently, and having prior knowledge to Tsutsumi's roles, I feel as though audience members would have been able to get a hint at Jo's whole character early on (just as RGG had capitalized on Takahashi's reputation) which I personally find to be a fun tidbit, if not just grateful that they chose such an excellent actor to play such an intricate character. Ergo, his ability to give 'deep' performances and have that sort of presence and give his character that type of atmosphere definitely helps enhance the human aspect of Jo's character.
It's a great blend into Jo's otherwise cold demeanor, and going off the idea that RGGJo was a combination of Masato and Jo, the decision to have Jo be a committed father to Masato (as much as he's allowed to be, anyhow) while Masato became the power-hungry villain (even if RGGJo's motivations were ironically centered around Arakawa succeeding moreover himself), it's somewhat of a roundabout way to have them still be connected: though they're not the same character anymore, there's that bond that keeps them stitched together that I find neat.
AND THANK YOU ABOUT MY TAGS I can't sugarcoat it, I'm not a very confident person, so I'm glad you've gleamed there's some validity to what I'm saying. And I'm glad you've expanded on not just Jo, but Arakawa's upbringing as well: though they both come from abusive homes, they do handle it differently, and I feel so blind for not even having wholly noticed it in how they react to Aoki- it's so brilliant I almost want to scream. It's a tragic irony that despite Jo resolving to not 'half-ass' things anymore and to face things head-on, to 'take responsibility', he incidentally falls back into trying to avoid the problem for as long as he can. It's poetic really, and I'm positively going to go insane over the fact.
#long post#fave#i AM faving all of these because any disucssion about jo/the arakawas is my favorite ☠️#snap chats#i'm still screaming about the parental bits at the end though like god how could i have been so blind.. thank you for pointing that out#it always fascinates me how abused kids turn out based on circumstances#I'm Rambling Again but i think arakawa got some benefit of his dad being there for him. until he died of course#even if kids come from broken homes so long as they have at least one positive adult figure in their life theyre likely to turn out alright#i guess 'alright' is subjective- i wouldnt exactly say becoming a yakuza leader is the most conventional lifestyle but hey what can you do#in any case jo's absolute abandonment certainly paved the way for- despite his wishes to reject it- him to fall back into being avoidant#ouugh that hits close to home im gonna throw up but its so also so good i love these details so much#also can we all ignore like. The Phat Chunk i dedicated to mr tsutsumi LMAO i really have become a fan of his work through all of this#AND I REPEAT HE IS SUCH A GOOD FIT FOR SAWASHIRO another role i can think of is mr tatsuya kanda from meishi game#he's more blatantly an antagonistic and selfish figure but we find out he's such an asshole because he's trying to make his daughter proud#so yeah definitely not mr tsutsumi's first time playing a dickish dad who loves his kid#i feel like im everywhere with this response ngl- im always so crummy with organizing my thoughts#but of course again thank you for writing in ! always fun reading your asks ^^#AND DEFINITELY THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO DEDICATE TO THE WIKI i cant type enough o7's to convey that respect
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solitarysurvival · 1 year
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dude who just read the dear jake tome: no hold on hold on hold on
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dude who is thinking about the implication that several of the survivor's relatives found a way into the fog to look for their loved ones: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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i hope you followers mine enjoy the nonsense that is my interaction with mcyt communities/content btw
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kirnet · 2 years
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question for jjk enjoyers who follow me: do you personally think that the reveal of geto n gojo’s past happened at a good time pacing-wise or do you feel like it came a little too late?
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orcelito · 2 years
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1.5k words. Decent start! I genuinely kinda adore how this scene is going lol.
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Ft This. Bc it's so adorable in its mundanity.
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tv-eater · 1 month
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a-lonely-tatertot · 9 months
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No one should let me talk after 10pm because im just fucking crazy
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miyaur · 1 year
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all i see is red. ⟢ with jealous! hsr men
— synopsis. jelly welly hsr men, god, your touchy male 'friend' definitely didn't wanna lay off you, and didn't wanna just be friends, and it's like you didn't mind, hell you didn't even say anything when the guy made you uncomfortable?? why?! seems like you were too nice to say anything, he'll just show who you belong to, and hopefully he'll fuck off.
— a letter from the author. taking advantage of the algorithm especially when it comes to this!! 1.5k notes on the 7mih helpp, this is my revenge post because i got claras card thing, and not her at 90 pity on the standard banner. you will see how much emotion i put into this. i lowkey just put them into to categories; nice and polite while the guy is around, and absolute bodyblock barrier while you hangout with him, or both, giggles
— heads up. smutty at the end of each thing, sextapes (caelus), kidnapping mentioned (dan heng & jing yuan), masturbation (all of them), possessiveness (most of them), creepy guy alert (the guy friend im talking about weeee), killing (blade/sampo), hickeys mentioned (most have), public fucking, just beware sex is everywhere, NOT IMPLIED FEM READER, TY !!!!
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DAN HENG
・he never liked your 'friend'. he was almost too touchy with you whenever he got to hangout with you (& him). it seemed like he forgot you even had a boyfriend, a very dedicated one too. and he did not approve of this guy's actions at all. and it didn't help at all that he flirted with you for the fun of it, yeah right. he obviously wanted to get rid of him, and get with you. he isn't easily fooled, and that is so bold, of him to assume he can't see right through his little schemes to take you. too late honestly, because you loved him way more than that guy friend of yours. he's way better anyway. more utc.
・anything that the guy friend of yours offered? thinks there is an ulterior motive to it, and politely declines, makes it more obvious if he continues trying to shove the 'homemade food' that the guy made for him and his s/o. dan heng is not one for a lot of pda, but he's willing to hold your hand, by your waist, kisses on the cheek, hell, he'd go so far to kissing you on the lips and giving a hickey or two just to try telling the guy you already were his. always have been. but he kept trying... it's like an annoying little bug that won't stop 'till he stomps it dead. well, that's quite alright, he's willing to stab the hell out of this guy, gouge his eyes out and skin him alive, makes dan heng more protective and possessive if the guy tries anything that makes you uncomfortable. just really can't take the hint, huh?
・as he starts to do more things that made you uncomfortable but you were too nice to say anything, the angrier glances he gave to the guy while you looked away. trying to get the whole "you're making my s/o uncomfortable. get away." message, and best bet the guy just takes him as jealous that he was reeling his girl in. it really was the polar opposite. whenever he tried asking about the guy at home? you immediately change the topic, it was worse than dan heng thought. do.. you want him.. to perhaps.. get rid of him completely? just say the word, and he will..
nsfw ?!
・i will put most of the guys underneath 2 different sections on what they would do, and dan heng the type of guy to kidnap the creepy touchy flirtacious friend of yours, and fuck you infront of him :)
・might be a bit of a stretch, but thinking about it, he would, right infront of the man who thought he'd fuck your hole better? yeah right. you were made for him, dan heng, no one else, praises you like crazy, saying you're doing well and stuff, like there's no tomorrow, and every now and then glances at the guy, cloth tied around his mouth to keep him quiet, actual metal cuffs around his hands, and feet to keep him from moving, he really wants to show you aren't single, at all, wants to let him know, for the millionth time, you belonged to him, not him, not anyone else, he already marked you infront of him and that wasn't much of a hint? he's dumber than he looks. probably blindfolds you so you don't see the guy, but just keep letting out those pretty little moans of yours so he could get to work, ever since you introduced that sketchy guy to him, and saw his actions, this is a dream come true.
・makes real fucking sure he sees how good your boyfriend, dan heng, makes you feel, so much that the image of you and him will appear in that man's mind if you ever dare to think any bad or if he's a bad boyfriend to you, the slow hours that he'd fuck you in, it will make an impact on the poor man's mind. it was his fault anyway, dan heng gave him soo many chances, all he had to do was back off, he knew dan heng was yours, and you were dan heng's. and he didn't lay off. well, there's a price to pay when you date someone so beautiful as you are, getting to be in you felt better than being given a whole galaxy.
・when he can, he'll probably come back to this moment and jerk off to it, it was one of the first actual times you both got to do anything intimate after getting of jarilo VI. and the xianzhou situation really kept postponing anything between you too, just as so far to instead going on dates during the mission, maybe even quickies in alleyways. really loved the image of you being blindfolded, and moaning like a bitch in heat for his cock, nothing gave him more pleasure. maybe except you.
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CAELUS
・poor baby, trying his best to not let the guy do anything more to make you more uncomfortable. the first few pickup lines and slight touchiness was.. bearable. but when he started getting too close for comfort, like almost kissing you at times, and that the guy claims it to be 'accidents'? tripping on nothing doesn't count as an accident, and he was right beside you, why didn't he go tumbling down with you? doesn't matter anymore, he's making you uncomfortable, so whenever you were too nice to decline the guy's offer, he'd come along and act as a barrier between you two. he doesn't want anymore accidents like that to happen, does he? no worries, caelus to the rescue!
・still never trusted him enough to take anything the guy offered, he would take it, but throw it away into the trash, where he and it belong. he tries to be emotionally understanding to the guy, but he just keeps hitting on you, how is he supposed to just sit there watching his s/o become uncomfortable, will body block any advance the man will attempt to do. he loves you like the sun, and he can't just let the sunshine in his life go.
・always, and i mean always advised you to just cut him off, but you felt like it was too rude. but it was so rude of him to continuosly flirt with you infront of your boyfriend. and you really couldn't say anything to not be 'impolite'. he was mad definitely, but not, never more mad at the guy, caelus would give an immensely huge amount of clues and hints to the guy that you're taken, he literally goes with you to your hangouts with the guy, is that not enough? what a blind guy, like how blind you were to realize he liked you. it's okay though, nothing a little video can help him realize that you're taken.
nsfw ?!
・will film you guys fucking. now i know i said i'd split the categories here into two, and i know not all the guys would do this, but think about it, that's all im saying. anyways, will film you both making love, capturing every little pretty moan you let out, and how well you take his cock in you, placing hickeys on you while praise spills off his lips, whispering just how good you feel, seems like the vanilla kind of guy, but i promise you he isn't always vanilla, like this kind of moment, will go rough. and really harsh with it. during these kind of days too, he will leave marks and hickeys on you, gets pleasure from it honestly.
・sends a picture and a small clip to the guy with a smiley face and captioned "never fucking speak to them again. they're mine, not yours, not anyone else's. :)"
・doesn't do this often, but again when he can: will stroke himself to the same image he sent <3 you just looked too pretty for him to not get erect by looking at the picture! he's sorry really, he just loves you so much.. probably fucked you infront of a mirror, just so you could see how much of a mess you were for him, just for him~
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SAMPO
・at first, thinks it's funny, no one is as charismatic as him than himself. he thinks it's funny that guy can take you away from him, yeah right, not in a million years. when the guy starts to become obnoxiously flirty and touchy with you, that's when he starts to become protective, before that, he just thought it was funny. but he's actually trying to.. get with his amazing s/o when you clearly have the most perfect partner to be with you, no matter how much he decided to mark up your neck, and made sure the man saw him placing another, and he still kept trying to hit on you, not like you'd fall for someone like that guy, he makes you uncomfortable and is overly touchy. and to be frank, sampo is not that bad of a boyfriend, when you get closer to each other, is a big big sweetheart. literal angel tbh<3
・did take what the guy made, like food or etc, and poured it all into the trash while the man was looking. and mouthed words "stay away from my spouse :D". will always and from whenever the guy starts to go over the line, sampo will start holding you close, and is oddly more erotic than usual. will whisper in your ear how horny he is, but aside that, the guy seems like the thirdwheel in this situation, and that is not what he wanted at all, he didn't want it to be like that at all, and sampo sensed that a long time ago, as soon as the guy tries to lean in to close, sampo will go in for a kiss between the both of you.
・at some point kind of was scared you'd leave him for someone else, but your reassurance will always keep him relieved and safe to know that the person he loves the most and admires will always stay with him, forever, and now.
nsfw ?!
・probably will either kidnap the guy and fuck you infront of him, or will kill the guy and fuck you anyway. depends on his mood. hard & rough sex with him, because he's jealous, it's obvious enough, not just jealous, he's mad you just stood there and didn't tell the guy to fuck off. it's alright now though, he probably gets off to your frightened expression as he fucks your hole, seems like that kind of guy. his back just painted with all your scratches, putting you into a mating press does something to him idk. can't help but tell you your dazed expression from his cock was adorable!
・even after sex he'd probably would will eat/blow the hell outta your pussy/dick, sorry not sorry. kind of guy to fuck you in random alleyway somewhere in belobog, and makes sure the guy friend sees you guys at some point.
・likes to come back to that moment while you and him are fucking, just knowing that guy saw you both relentlessly so in the moment with each other in a public place, and no, just staying silent is not a choice with him, there's a reason why you just let the guy trip over nothing and trip on you as a result, there's an answer to why you did that. he knows it, and he'll fuck the answer out of you if he needs to.
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WELT YANG
・already protective of you, and the guy just made him even more protective (+ possessive).. unlike before that welt really just followed you around without really having to do much that gave signs you were together, matching rings, possibly matching jackets/cardigans, literally holding hands, and the guy asks "is he your brother?" just gives him a really plain look, like what the fuck you guys didn't even look that much alike each other. before you could say anything though he'll kiss you on the lips, and it's a really long kiss to just rub it in.
・will intentionally bump into you when you receive stuff like food from the creepy guy, like will spill it on the floor, like fully calculated solution too, oh no the guy's gift suddenly fell on the floor and the 5 second rule isn't real oh nooo just seems like we cant do anything about it.. that's okay, welt just happens to have your favorite snack prepared for you right in his pocket (he wants to be better than the guy in every way possible). will one-up the guy on everything just to make sure he proves that he's better for you, that's his little red flag, just if he's jealous.
・scared if you're ever more impressed by the creep than him, scared of replacement probably, more scared if you even are comfortable with the touchiness that the guy does near you, kind of guy to actually sit between you two because he knows the guy will try something. holds your hand constantly, even if the guy makes him uncomfortable and anxious himself, he doesn't want you to feel the same.
nsfw ?!
・just the type of man to block him everywhere on your end, and fuck you pretty vanilla just to get his mind off it. just wants time with you by himself, and that stupid guy friend of yours just had to interrupt. but all he could is think about how good you feel around him. how well you take him is all and everything on his mind, the tight warmth around his cock is one of the only things that could distract him from anything.
・kind of hesitant at first about blocking the guy, but he knows you're uncomfortable with it, and to make you feel better, he wants to give you the most pleasurable night possible, maybe not the most, that can wait for your wedding night <3
・just really wants to take your mind off that creep, and let you focus on how good his cock is making you feel, those little mewls of yours is proof that his plan is going well! just wants to see your hole overwhelmed with his cum, loves it so much honestly, and has a lowkey breeding kink so be ready to bear his children (real not fake)
・lowkey been dreaming of this moment, he's jerked off to it before, just railing the hell out of you while he's just so calm about it, your dazed, blurry vision, could only see welt's face, the only thing registering in your mind, was his relentless pace, throbbing dick so easily sliding in and out from the cum from all the other rounds, doesn't seem like he'll stop 'till you can't walk at all <3
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JING YUAN
・no mercy at all, will side eye the guy all the damn time. wym you gonna give my s/o a gift... fuck off bro... unimaginably and overtly possessive, you are HIS. and why are YOU hanging out with other guys. you are supposed to only be his to talk to smh (he means it as a joke but is jealous you even talk to anyone else.) does not hesitate to make out in front of the guy and mark you all over your neck or what. because you're his, and it's only right he marks what's his before someone tries to take you. blatantly ignores the guy when he tries to talk to him, someone who's trying to take you from him wants to talk to him? yikes... yeah right, no.
・will personally pull him into a private place and tell him to lay off, that he makes you uncomfortable, and that you aren't up for new relationships, because if he really hasn't seen yet, you are his, why and how does this creep that you met 2 days ago will ever one-up someone as great as he is. and he knows you'd pick him over the guy friend any day of the week. intentionally kisses you and while you aren't looking he will glance and smirk at the guy because he knows he just saw you and him kissing, tongue contact and everything.
・why does this guy even keep trying? quite the stubborn brat, he'll just have to show him who you belong to, and he'll die with the secret <3
nsfw ?!
・kind of guy to kidnap the male friend and fuck the shit outta of you infront of him. such a meanie, thrusting so harshly out and inside you again and again, the belly bulge as clear as daylight, and will shove fingers down your throat if you end up being too loud, his little room all the way at the bottom of his home isn't sound proof you know.. but the servants know he fucks you almost every night there anyway, kind of forgets the guy is there and goes down on you like there's no tomorrow.
・makes sure to torture the guy a bit more before he decides or either killing him off or just knocking him out and carrying the man back into the wild, phone in his hand, with a message from you saying "never text or come near my s/o ever again, i hope you had fun watching us last night. <3"
・where did he put the guy exactly? err... totally not onto another planet.... totally.
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BLADE
・i would be lying if i said he didn't already place hickeys on your neck, lowkey a kind of high sex drive honestly. and who allowed you to have other friends that are outside of the stellaron hunters, whatever he doesn't wanna seem like the manipulative boyfriend type, he'll let this one slide, for now.
・hates him from the very second he meets the guy. you shouldn't even be friends with such a creep. plus he seems like he just wants to sleep with you then steal all your belongings. and that's when he won't let it slide anymore. no, why the hell would he take a 'gift' from a sketchy looking guy you met 2 days ago?? you already are a gift so he considers it useless, and the guy useless, so desperate for his spouse..
・will grab you by your hair/collar and fuck you there instead, and the guy can't help but overhear your sweet little moans, all bubbling up at once, and he can't help but just indulge himself into what a mess he made you. just like to hold you face up to his while he thrusts so thoroughly wrecking your insides, just as he kisses the tip of your nose and releases into you, gets you dressed up and walks out the alleyway like nothing happened.
nsfw ?!
・as if the 'sfw' section of this wasnt already nsfw LMFOA, anyways, like i said he'll fuck you even while you and the guy are hanging out, just to show who you really belong to, no one else can manhandle you like this, not in a million years. your hole was made for only him anyway.
・doesn't really care about the guy seeing you both or not, and id you are uncomfortable around him he'll be dead by morning and he'll give you a good fucking as an apology for not realizing it sooner, wants to be a better boyfriend fluffy wise, but your fucked up little expression when his cock finally shoots his warm cum into you is much more adorable, he wouldn't trade it for the world <3!
taglist: @edit-me-prettyplease @sucrosia
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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RIGHT YEAH I was also thinking about the scenario of Jo accompanying Masato in relation to this, in the vein of… that'd solidify that the whole lie was always about His Family and not The Family right… because what can Jo even DO for the family while he's away? He's more than a glorified accountant.
Though thinking about it, he probably wouldn't have been away too long, at least compared to a prison sentence for murder. Because Masato only faked his death in 2004 (at the very latest, I guess; it's when the news went public) and Bleach Japan was founded "almost 20 years" prior to 2019, at which point Aoki and Ogasawara had already graduated and returned to Japan.
That and Aoki wasn't in a wheelchair anymore when he met Ogasawara at Harvard, so perhaps Jo would only really /need/ to stay for the procedure and Aoki's physical therapy and all, though of course I can see him staying longer. Still, not too long, all things considered.
So this scenario's kind of the worst of both worlds, because perhaps those first couple of years it's Arakawa's own stubbornness, and then the rest of his family has to go away anyway. And he's so sure in that time what he needs is to be with his family again and he'll at least feel less alone, miss Ichi less.
But then Masato's Aoki now and only really staying in touch to use him and the Arakawa Family's resources for his own gain, and Jo--as you perfectly put it--doesn't know how to emotionally take care of him. So things he should be ecstatic about--seeing his son walk on his own two legs for the first time and having his right hand man back in action--end up bittersweet at best. Aiiieeeeee……
OH YEAH SHINJI I half-remembered there was a visit in 1 but not who actually went to visit Kiryu sorry for doing you like that my boy </3 still counts as part of a pattern to me though… subordinate visiting his aniki…
SPEAKING OF KIRYU. Yeah. Typical Kiryu L. Kazuma Kiryu you have blood on your hands and NOT in the funney Reddit meme way… ABSOLUTELY DERANGED to blame Ichi for anything in the ending whatsoever though like WHAT. He got him immediate medical attention and WE AS THE AUDIENCE don't even have time to react, let alone anyone living the fucking moment good god my blood pressure is spiking
ALSO THE JO POST… YEAH… yeah yeah yeah that's the shit I'm talking about… and like. This is where localization frustrates me so Bear With My Complaints a moment but his very last line is mistranslated in both versions, the sub in terms of what he was actually saying and the dub in terms of giving him this bitchy, flippant tone that doesn't convey his intent. So I'll cut them down the middle and say it's "[The] legit [way]? The word has never crossed my mind, not once."
There's just something to it as a clear thesis for his whole life and his eventual fate. Like of course Adachi means in terms of going through the proper legal processes, but words like proper, legit, decent, these also have clear connotations of adequacy. So for him to literally say NOTHING he's done has been adequate in his eyes perfectly illustrates what you were saying. Like he's always taken it as a matter of fact that nothing he could do would be enough, like that's a truth woven into his existence so tightly he never even thought about it. And now there really is nothing he can do.
i have my own theoretical timeline on masato's stay in america, but even with what we have there's a lot of variables involved with for exactly when certain events happened
under the assumption masato was to enroll at harvard in the fall of 2001 (assuming he was somehow able to be approved for a lung transplant as soon as that year), then jo would- at max- might only have to be abroad for (assuming they leave in january) nine months (to account for the time it took for masato to get approved for surgery and then the surgery itself plus the potential 3-6 month recovery period afterwards)
alternatively, if masato had to wait a year- two max if we're being optimistic so he could graduate on time under an accelerated 2-year academic schedule to get surgery- then jo, similarly, would have to be abroad for a similar amount of time.
the time gone doesn't matter too much i guess: arakawa will still be left alone for a long time, and that really couldnt have been easy either way. the time his family's gone only makes their comeback all the more bittersweet, as you put it (´▽`;;)
OH BUT YEAH NO THE Y7 BIT THAT SHIT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH WHEN I READ IT like mates were trying to be smart about it like 'wow ichi way to go showing how much you love aoki and how you'd do anything for him 🙄' like God Forbid a human character acts human and imperfect what the fuck you want him to do he aint got no goddamn spidey sense how the shit was he supposed to know (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)
but yeah.. speaking of Doing The Right Thing jo's never ending feelings of inadequacy are my favorite </3 cause its like.. it's a reason why i love jo so much if i can be weird to say: what he did wasnt something that you can confidently forgive or try to say 'he's done the most to rectify this' or anything like that because putting a baby in a coin locker's like.. a lot of steps are involved to do that.. not really a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing that would have grounds to forgive yourself for.. so the fact jo knows this and just has that intense guilt- it's my bread and butter to say the least 😔
#long post#snap chats#i didnt mean to ramble about my masato timeline OOPS. i havent mentioned it in months tho.... i do like thinkin a it....#thats not even to consider the idea of jo staying abroad all four years to make sure masato was getting along fine#and to make sure he made it back to japan alright- but for the sake of giving masato some independence for a bit#we can also say jo went back when he was 'no longer needed' and just let masato live how he wanted to#but again i guess the exact amount of months and years dont matter too much#as for Jo's Suffering though i can't explain why i love it so much#i think its just cause like. its nice that a character acknowledges they did something unforgivable#like even if aoki did get the lung transplant and he's fine- or WAS fine rip- that doesnt negate the 24 some years he had to be miserable#i cant explain it im very bad at explaining things can we tell#its just such a weird situation. because again what jo did isnt something you can excuse or forgive yk#like masato's critical years and his early adulthood were severely impacted by his disability#to say half his life was altered by jo's actions is an understatement- and jo knows that right#even if he made sure everything that could be done for him to make his life better was done#there was probably always that thought of 'this extra work wouldnt be necessary if i didnt do that' yk what i mean#so i guess im just glad he's dedicated to acknowledging that and trying to take responsibility for it now#idk idk i cant explain it but i hope we know what i mean. dear god i hope we do words arent my strong suit#but yeah again.... now he cant do anything to continue righting that wrong in his eyes#now its just guilt with no means of alleviating it and THAT. hurts the soul in a good way. me thinks anyhow
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doobea · 16 days
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SPITTIN' OUT LIKE LISTERINE ─ RIN I.
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synopsis: sae is great at a lot of things, his brother... not so much. when sae calls you up to tutor rin for his upcoming exams the first thought should've been 'yeah, sounds like easy money' rather than 'why does it look like he wants to kill me right now'.
MILESTONE EVENT || MILESTONE MASTERLIST
contents: gn!reader, reader is two grades above rin, college AU setting, forced proximity, best friend's brother, rin is a lil emotionally constipated but its alright bc we love him, sae is a physics major in this idk why word count: 10.9k (haha... why do i do this) a/n: hi hi umm idk if i know how to write tbh its been quite some time,,, but im slowly finding myself getting back into the groove and umm yeah it'll still take some time!! anyways, thank you for beta'ing @popponn and of course this fic is dedicated to you too my sweet <3
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You meet Itoshi Rin at a coffee shop, of all places.
The kind of shop that you often see campus influencers hanging around. Hole in the wall. Dangling fairy lights paired with a few overgrown rose bushes in the front. A bit old-schooled, wooden counter tops, with well loved espresso machines. It’s not a big cafe, just enough to hold a few couches, a singular bookshelf packed with all sorts of board games, and low rise tables with way too many heat stains. 
At the start of the year, it started out as a quiet job. Never too overwhelming and had just enough downtime for you to finish up assignments in between breaks. Recently, due to a couple of self-proclaimed foodies on campus, business has blown up ten-fold. So, instead of catching up on your latest lectures, you’re stuck brewing teenage girls their overpriced lattes that are just mostly multiple pumps of flavored syrup and copious amounts of whipped cream. It’s rough but manageable to say the least, judging from the tips. 
You’re currently on scholarship, top of your classes and major, but you’re also living on your own so rent’s gotta get paid one way or another. Whether it be working part-time as a teaching assistant, a barista, or both.
On this particular day, you’re just about done closing up shop. The last hour had you rushing back and forth, fulfilling a last minute order from a Karen that swore up and down that she placed a mobile app order for ten frappuccinos twenty minutes prior. It’s been a long day, but the evening has finally calmed down. You’re scrubbing down the counter, putting all the remaining elbow grease you have into this one particular syrup spill earlier that you didn’t realize that someone had walked in until they started clearing their throat.
You barely look up, having the stain just almost disappear from the counter, but the information you register is enough to know that it’s a guy, and he’s by himself. 
And, okay, in a normal setting you would probably be smart enough to realize that a guy wearing a black cap, oversized hoodie, and a large gym bag at nearly nine o’clock at night is anything but suspicious. You, however, worked a long day. Your eyes are strained from operating the bright tablet menu. Your hair is a frenzied mess. There’s tea stains all over your apron. You get the gist.
So you don’t really notice at all, except that this guy is idling in front of the counter, looking over at the menu with equally strained eyes as you. That’s not unusual. You’ve learned when to be helpful and when to give someone their time and space. It’s slow now, not like it’s common for more customers to show up this late anyway. 
After a moment, the customer clears his throat again. You turn around, fixing your apron, and work up a friendly smile and a quick “ready to order?” when it dawns upon you that this guy is breathtakingly gorgeous. So much so that if you could take over the rights of the Oxford Dictionary, you would attach this guy’s face underneath the word gorgeous and emo.
Dark wispy bangs, striking teal eyes, long mesmerizing lashes, and lips that naturally fall into a small frown giving him the ultimate resting bitch face. They’re also very kissable lips, and you hate yourself for jumping to that thought so fast. It’s not usual for you to hit on customers, let alone just anyone, and it’s probably safe to say that anyone as handsome as The Duke of the North (because you’ve also been reading too many romance comics on the side and this stranger definitely fits this role) probably has a partner of his own. 
“Hey,” The Duke of the North looks awkwardly pained, as if he hates starting a conversation. His eyes drift down to your name tag that’s proudly displayed on your apron, littered with all sorts of stickers and pins. “I—um, what do you recommend?”
Working in food service made you absolutely hate this question with a burning passion. Everyone’s taste is subjective. You get this question all the damn time, and you have to put on your best customer service act, all preppy and bubbly. It’s not like you hate helping customers, you do. But, when they don’t give you anything to work with, it becomes your fault if the drink is bad. 
Though, for obvious reasons, you don’t mind extending the conversation with The Duke of the North. Just by glance alone, you can tell he’s a bit of a health nut from the lean physique and the hefty gym bag that’s tossed around his shoulders. Looks scary and a little daunting, but you have an inkling feeling he’s more of a traditional type of guy. 
“If you want popular suggestions then I’d rec our brown sugar boba for beginners or, if you want something less sweet, I always prefer our in house rose oolong milk tea.” You answer, good-naturedly.
The Duke of the North seems to be in deep pondering. The look on his face makes you feel a little uneasy, like maybe he’s missing something, but eventually he settles with the latter.  “Rose oolong,” He says thoughtfully, almost unfamiliar with the term. “I’ll have that then.”
“It’s one of our signature drinks,” you ring in his order with a smile, “tends to be popular with a lot of the older women.” There’s tease laced in the tone, but you mean no harm. Maybe just a tiny amount for him coming in before closing. 
And, after collecting the cash payment, you can tell that he’s struggling with the awkwardness hanging in the air. You assume he’s not used to jokes, or even hanging around others willingly for that fact. There was another comment you wanted to ask, more so his background and if he goes to the same university, but it quickly vanishes when the guy scurries to the furthest corner of the shop. 
Okay, that’s fine too. Not everyone is suited for small talk.
You get the feeling that this guy wants to avoid people and maybe he’s also had one hell of a day. You’ve learned pretty early on as a barista to never ask anyone about their problems, only because you’ll accidentally sign up to become their therapist without meaning to. 
You decide to brew up a warm batch of rose oolong tea, despite the fact he never specified if he wanted it hot or iced - he looks like the type of guy to always order a warm drink, even on a summer day. And, being the lovely barista you are, you decide to give him a large for the hell of it. This will go down as your one positive action for today, hoping that the good luck will carry over for tomorrow’s rough schedule.
“Hope you like it,” you present him with the tea and watch him as he swirls the drink around. He doesn’t look upset that it’s warm, so you take that as a good sign. “Feel free to hang back a little, I still have to clean up a couple of things in the back.”
“Sure, thanks,” he nods, and the words sound genuine. Without missing a beat, he retreats back in the corner and pulls out a laptop, notebook, and somehow manages to balance the drink on the cushion next to him. Yeah, definitely a fellow student working overtime like you.
True to your word, you go back to your boring list of chores to do; tons of equipment to be sanitized, chalkboard to be erased and be replaced by tomorrow’s daily specials, counting the register, taking out all the trash… maybe it’s not too late to find a less taxing job.
If you weren’t so tunnel visioned in your deep cleaning, maybe you would’ve noticed The Duke of the North spilling some of the tea on himself, asking if you had some extra tissues he could borrow, but only growing self-cautious when he realized that your earbuds are shoved in. And maybe you’d notice him cleaning up the spill with his own clothes from the gym bag, dabbing the spot furiously and making sure it looked like the same state prior. 
You’re almost done with your long list of closing chores when The Duke of the North returns with an empty cup. “Thanks, again. ‘S was good,” he awkwardly offers up.
“Glad to hear,” you flush a little, because your uniform is a mess, and you clearly look the part still. Nothing is more embarrassing than a cute guy staring down at you while you’re sweaty, tired, and have soap suds all over your apron.
There’s a bit of a silence, and then he says, even more awkwardly, “I’ll, uh, see you around. Good night.”
“Sure,” you reply in a quiet voice, in a tone that’s taken on a dreamy sort of quality. “Night.”
You let out a ragged sigh by the time he was out of sight, praying to see him again in better circumstances. By the time you’re locking the front door, you’re half debating to FaceTime your best friend about the random encounter. Somehow, Sae tends to know just about everyone on campus, even if his friend group only extends out to you. Though, noting that it’s nearly midnight and you should really catch the last bus of the day, you quickly toss that thought out the window and save the energy for tomorrow’s session.
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“Mind tutoring my brother for me?” Sae asks out of the blue the next day.
You flail a little, shooting him an exasperated look over your shoulder as your fingers stop in mid hover over the keys of your laptop. An hour and a half into the TA grading session and somehow things feel slightly more off than yesterday night. 
There’s only one single thought running through your mind as you stare at Sae, best friend of nearly two years, “You have a brother?!”
A swarm of “shh” and “quiet down” soon blows in your direction in the library. You’re quickly met with glares from other senior students from nearby tables and study rooms as you mumble back flurries of “sorry” while Sae only rolls his eyes.
It’s nearing midterms, everyone and their mothers are camped on every floor and crevice of the building, thus making gossiping quite impossible and frowned upon. So you stare in disbelief at your friend on the wild fact that he potentially has a brother and didn’t bother telling you until now. 
Sae blinks, “…Yeah? That’s shocking news to you?”
You laugh a little sheepishly, “You’ve never mentioned having one, let alone anything familial.” Then again, this is Sae. Talk about emotionally guarded. 
“You’ve never asked,” Sae huffs before setting down a stack of graded papers. At the top, you see an unfortunate student’s work marred in everything red from Sae’s corrections. He’s always been a tough grader and, for any poor soul who has to take physics, chances of them retaking are high when he’s TAing.
“No offense, but you’ve always given me only child vibes,” you say, lamely, not hiding the fact you’re mildly annoyed. Seriously, this guy knows just about everything about your personal life and now you’re just finding out about his?
“All offense taken,” he replies dryly. 
You scoot closer and whisper, “So, who’s the unlucky guy?”
Sae heaves, ignoring your comment, and continues, “Rin. He’s been focusing too much on sports lately to care about his midterms. He knows about the arrangement. I would offer to tutor him but… we don’t have the best sibling relationship.”
And, Sae being Sae, this doesn’t really surprise you. “See? The only child vibe checks out.”
“Anyways,” Sae rolls his eyes for the nth time and tosses you a half folded sticky note with the name and contact info of his presumed brother. “He gets his shitty attitude from me, so try not to get too upset if he doesn’t seem talkative.”
“I haven’t even given my answer to—”
“Just how often do I ask for your help?”
“Like never,” your reply is instant and Sae only raises his brows in confirmation. You take that as a sign of he’ll somehow return the favor. It’s a rare opportunity, perhaps even once in a blue moon, but there is just one thing that you’re wondering about—
“Don’t worry about the money, you’re going to be covered,” Sae reassures as he throws another thick stack of exams on top of the finished pile. “He’s a fast learner when he wants to be, just not as of recently since he’s started the semester.”
“I take it he’s a grade below?”
“About two years younger, in honors.”
You laugh, pulling away and readjusting your attention back to your laptop screen. “Seems smarter than you, I like him already.”
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It’s a terrible day, because you’re awake before your alarm. Hell, you’re awake before sunrise.
It’s absolutely nonsense and your boss knows to stop giving you these opening and closing shifts back to back, but apparently nobody else had been available to open. 
“You’re competent,” your boss had said over the phone last night. “I trust you more than our own managers, so you should at least feel proud about that.”
Should you?
Of course, you don’t fall for his stupid flattery, not when your alarm is finally blasting in your ear at five in the morning. Normally, you at least try to make yourself look half-presentable but, working on approximately four hours of sleep, the best you could do for yourself is throw on a sweater and jeans before heading out the door.
As a whole, you really do like your job and usually get the later shift but the recent manager got fired for stealing cash from the register, and your other co-worker called off for the next few weeks due to a family emergency, so now your life is a living hell — at least until they return. And, let’s not forget to mention that somehow you’re also stuck with tutoring your classmate’s younger brother because somehow he couldn’t have done it himself. Also a so-called “family emergency”. 
The only thing you appreciate is at least it’s warm inside the cafe once you’ve turned on the lights and tossed your bookbag in the back room. The store might be short-staffed today, but mornings are always slow, which only means you can at least get paid by watching some YouTube videos while finishing setting the place up.
You barely get through setting up the pastries when there’s a knock on the door. Dear god. It’s barely seven, you’ve been here for exactly fifty minutes, and already you’re debating smashing your face against the coffee machine to put yourself out of this misery. If it’s a customer, you swear you’re going to kill someone.
As you glare intently at the window, in the early morning, pre-dawn glow, you can make out a tall guy, dressed in athleisure, peering through the glass. You’re about to grumble out loud about entitled customers showing up before opening hours but the door knob suddenly turns, all because you were too tired earlier to lock it, so now you have to put on your dumb customer service voice. 
The bell chimes loudly as the guy walks in. The lighting in the coffee shop is low, with that quiet, comfortable ambience of soft piano background music playing through the speakers. Your eyes are still half-awake too, blurry around the edges with sleep. But that face, no one could possibly forget that.
“You’re back,” you say this in awe, offering up your best smile, even though it’s lopsided and droopy. The annoyance ebbs away slowly as the man approaches the counter.
The Duke of the North scratches his cheek, and looks around the cafe a bit more, realizing that he’s quite literally the only one here. “...Am I early?”
“Kinda, we open in thirty minutes,” you shrug. It’s not an accusatory thing, because at least this time he has the manners to come in before it’s open rather than before closing. That’s something you can work with. You were irritated earlier but now you’re suppressing a giggle. “Did you like the drink that much?”
Before he could answer, he tips his baseball cap and grips his bookbag before settling down on the nearest couch by the counter. Wondering if the comment had came out as off putting, you’re about to throw on a free pastry when—
“My brother recommended this cafe. Needed a quiet place to get some work done,” he explains with a slight pause, and continues, “The drink you made was good,” he says quietly and starts unpacking. For whatever reason, that puts a dumb cheesy grin on your face. You’re thankful he’s too occupied to catch that.
“Well, you’re welcome to stop by anytime. Just, you know, within actual store hours.” You laugh when you see the tips of his ear flushing a light shade of red. 
“I suppose you’re right,” and you don’t have to look at him to hear the tiny smile in his voice.
“Did you want me to make you anything?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing at the moment. Thank you.”
You two are quiet again for a long time. He’s minding your space while you’re trying to finish your opening duties. When you’re finally done fiddling with the coffee bean grinder, you twirl around, mind racing and checking off your internal checklist with the next task being to actually open the shop. Though, as you turn, The Duke of the North is already by the front door, flipping the sign over to OPEN. 
Can this guy get any more charming?
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” except that you totally loved the fact that he did just that. Maybe a concerning amount. 
“I was getting up anyways,” he reasons simply with a shrug. Somehow he slightly reminds you of a certain someone, but you ignore the nagging voice inside your head.
“Well, keep that up and we might just hire you,” you tease.
The Duke of the North strolls up to the counter, presenting a credit card in his hand, and looks over the menu behind you. You give him space, but you absolutely try to make out the name on the card. You probably shouldn’t refer to him as The Duke of the North any longer than you should. Then again, if the shoe fits, why change?
Suddenly, the front door bell rings and the sight of maroon catches your attention.
“Sae?”
“You’re here awfully early,” Sae comments, nonchalantly. 
You sigh, rubbing a hand to your temple. “Got moved to first shift, unfortunately.”
“Wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to him,” he nods towards The Duke of the North.
Blinking hastily, you choke out, “Wait, you two know each other?”
“Are you that blind?” Sae deadpans and stands next to the taller male, who looks mildly taken back, like somehow he doesn’t want to be here anymore. “This is Rin. The guy I was talking about yesterday. My brother.”
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To say that you’re shocked might be an understatement. The correct emotion might’ve been appalled, or even dread? You’re not sure. But you weren’t expecting the meeting to be as unnerved as it was. Rin doesn’t even allow Sae to finish explaining, just ends up walking out with the promise of showing up to the shop at the end of your shift. You remember catching Sae’s irritated expression which, in itself, is extremely rare. It placed a strained smile on your face.
Back at your apartment, you’re currently trying to balance this tutoring session by turning it into a personal study time too. Though, you keep the sight of Rin in your peripheral as you complete your assignments in bed. It didn’t take you too long to look through his current curriculum and throw together a few practice and multiple choice questions for a quick knowledge assessment. He seemed pretty adamant about knowing everything, but Sae has his doubts.
Rin keeps looking over at his quiz, your digital clock, and the floor — all in that order. You don’t want to distract him anymore than he already is, though you can’t help but to spare a glance of what he has done so far. 
The multiple choice questions have been filled out, with a couple of eraser bits on the side, but the short answers have hardly been touched. A lofty attempt has been made to the first short answer, where Rin drew a small circuit diagram to determine the internal resistance of a battery, but it kinda just stops at that. Any answers he has written for the problem set are mostly brief notions of what’s already stated in the prompt. 
Rin currently has his fingers knotted in his hair, pencil tapping against the table and, underneath the desk, he’s bouncing his leg like mad.He tries to look indifferent on a surface level, but you can easily see the vein popping out on his neck.
By the time you’ve finished grading, Rin barely scrapes by with a C-. And, while some students would be ecstatic with that, it’s surely not enough to raise his current grade to a passing one. 
Sae mentioned that Rin’s a fast learner when he wants to be and he never said tutoring would be an easy job. No worries, it’s not the first time you had to mentor a student before. What you’re more worried about is how Rin had been so sure that he knew what he was doing… when he obviously doesn’t.
You hand back the paper with the corrected answers in red ink. You even drew a tiny smiley face by his name to give him some sort of comfort, but Rin just makes a disgruntled noise and looks mildly disgusted.
“I don’t need your sympathy.”
You certainly didn’t expect him to snap at you. Rin visibly tenses and blood rushes to your ears.
Your lips part, finding the right words, as he redirects his attention to your bedroom window and stretches his jaw. Then, after an agonizing long pause, he tips his head back, slouches down in the chair, and sighs in defeat. 
“Sorry,” his voice cracks a little and he leans down, resting his forehead on the edge of the table. 
You pinch your lips together, eyebrows raised. He looks frustrated, but you can tell it’s not aimed at you. “Let’s… take a fifteen minute break, how does that sound?”
“I think I should go.” He’s a little breathless, possibly uncomfortable under the weight of your stare. 
“I’m not delicate, Itoshi,” you say, slowly. You’ve dealt with a fair share of angst-ridden undergrads flustering over their assignments. Rin is no different, and you’re not the type to easily give up after a mini meltdown. It’s all about having the right approach, if you send him home now then the next session would just start off even more strained. “Stay for a while longer, we’ll go over everything one by one.”
“It’s fine.”
You sigh, lips curling ever so slightly. “Itoshi, has anyone told you that you’re a terrible liar?”
From the look on his face, it seemed like the world had slipped out from under his feet. You soon realize that Rin almost reminds you of a raging teen, when he’s like this. He’s fiercely independent, that’s for sure. The type that doesn’t like to make others worry but it ends up backfiring in the end. How he’s managed to get through with life is way beyond your comprehension, but you have a feeling that it has something to do with Sae.
“I… I don’t talk about stuff like this,” he admits and chews down on his lip - it seems like a nervous tick, a bad habit. 
“I can tell,” a chuckle bubbles from you but you pause when you catch his glare. You start clearing your throat awkwardly, “I—um, I don’t talk about my feelings often either. I don’t think many people do. We’re all trying to figure things out as we go.”
“Have you figured it out yet?” Rin seems to surprise himself with that question. 
Maybe for him, you look like you’ve got all your shit together. As if you’ve figured out all the great secrets in life. And maybe, you think, he just wants reassurance that he’s not alone, struggling, to find purpose. Or perhaps Rin wants you to offer up some adult advice, something only seniors would know. 
Your eyes widen for a moment. Rin furrows his brows tightly together and stares at you for answers. You both know well enough that you don’t have a solution, but he looks at you anyway. All you offer him back is a warm, big smile. 
“Itoshi, I’m two years older than you. I’ve had a little more years to figure it out,” you begin slowly, “I’ve had my ups and downs, almost flunked out a few courses when I was starting out, too. I didn’t just magically have it all come together.”
He appears doubtful, almost hard to believe. Rin looks like he’s about to protest but one look and he soon realizes that you’re pushing some truth there. You can tell that he’s struggling, mind working in overtime to try and process all of his internal conflicts — only because you’ve gone through the same. 
“Honestly,” you continue, after a long moment of silence, and lean to the side, giving Rin’s shoulder a little nudge, “It’s not my business to dig around your psyche, but just know that you’re welcome to tell me anything. Physics related or not.”
Rin doesn’t say a word, but you take his silence as a contentment. 
“So, uh,” you start to get up from the bed and pace towards the kitchen area, “I have some sliced fruit in the fridge, if you want some. Can’t solve these problems on an empty stomach.”
You two spend the rest of the night assessing the problems he got stuck on and going over shorthand tricks to easily remember what formulas to use. To your surprise, Rin stays mostly quiet and attentive this time around. He doesn’t stare at the worksheet in irritation anymore, and asks questions when he finds himself stuck on a problem. At the end, he manages a passing B on the new practice assessment. And, of course, while downing a bowl of freshly sliced honeydew.
It’s almost midnight by the time he starts heading out. You’re certain that this is going to kick you in the ass tomorrow morning, because you somehow forgot that you have an 8:00 AM class. It’s fine, you think, at least the atmosphere feels a lot lighter than when you guys first started, so you consider that as a plus.
As Rin begins to put on his shoes, you try to lean against the bedroom door casually and nearly fall over. Looking unimpressed, Rin looks up at you.
“Hm?”
“Do you dislike me?”
“You’d already be dead if I hated you,” Rin says this with a certain level of confidence that makes you both shiver and relax at the same time. You’re positive that he isn’t a serial killer but, then again, you don’t know if Sae is the only source of all that pent up angst. 
When his hand rests on the front door knob, Rin suddenly looks back, eyebrows knitted together, and you can’t tell what his expression translates into. Nevertheless, it makes your breath catch in your throat, and you swallow hard. 
“Yes, Itoshi?”
”You… your room is messy,” Rin eventually comments, very unnecessarily, which causes you to release a heavy sigh, sticking a disapproving tongue out.
“Wow, you really do get that shitty attitude from him!”
Rin just snorts, hands in his pockets, and you think this is the first time he’s ever really laughed. It throws you off and, before you get a proper chance to recover, he’s out the door. 
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“You’re surprisingly getting the hang of this, Itoshi” you’re glossing over the practice quiz he had today, feeling a surge of pride knowing that Rin was able to handle it just fine. He ended up receiving a B minus, which is nearly a grade higher from his past averages. Guess a heated vent session is the answer to most problems. 
“I’ve cleared my head,” he shrugs nonchalantly, as if it’s the easiest thing to do in the world. 
Outside, a storm rages and rattles the windows every time thunder roars. Typhoon season is nearing as the weather starts to get warmer, which ultimately means your evening shifts are cut early to avoid flood risks and violent winds. It’s been about two weeks since the first tutoring session and there’s been a slow progression in your relationship. 
Having Rin over almost feels weirdly second nature, despite the short amount of time. You try to meet at least three times a week, two of those times happen right after your shift. The thing you miss the most about being a sophomore is the amount of free time you had. Rin’s classes practically finish before three every day and arrive at the coffee shop right after football practice everyday. Majority of the time, it would just be exchanging shorthand greetings but, whenever the evening rush dies down, you try to strike a quick check-in. Afterwards, the two of you  would make the trip back to your apartment to continue the session. 
Which leads to this current situation. 
About an hour into the session you suggested a well needed break, for you at least. You’re laying down in your bed, playing a mobile game on full volume, while Rin is disciplined enough to still scroll over his previous lecture slides at your desk. You’re not sure if this is what he does to “relax”, or if he’s just simply not grown comfortable around you just yet. Either way, it’s hard to believe that you’re being out mentored. 
“You know you can chill, right?”
“I know.” You hear muffled sounds of a lecture recording from his laptop. 
“Well, I don’t hear you chilling.”
“I don’t need to be.”
Okay, yeah, you’re starting to see the family resemblance here. But it’s going to take a lot more than that to stop you. How else have you survived as Sae’s best friend for two years?
“Don’t you have any fun weekend plans?” 
Rin shakes his head, eyes never leaving his screen. “Maybe not fun by your definitions.”
Your ears perk at this and you subtly lower the volume of the game. Maybe this is a sign to get to know his likes and dislikes, and whether or not he has a significant other — because that’s all important information. At least, that’s what you convince yourself. If Rin just so happens to be in a relationship, then you’ll easily set aside that growing curiosity. If he’s not, then a little harmless flirting won’t harm anyone, right?
“Itoshi,” you sit up from the bed with more purpose than before, Rin seems to catch on and visibly grimaces. “Tell me, I wanna know.”
“We should probably go back to studying,” he sighs.
You hop to your feet, sauntering to the desk and shutting his laptop with ease. Ohm’s Law can wait just a little while longer. “You’ve been at it nonstop since we’ve arrived here. It’s not good to cram everything in that big head of yours, that’s how people burn out faster. C’mon, a ten minute break won’t kill you.”
Rin doesn’t bother to argue against you, he’s been over well enough to pick up that you won’t let him become a complete workaholic. 
“Fine,” he gets up and makes his way over to sit on the edge of your bed, because if he doesn't then you’ll eventually force him to sit elsewhere. Something about separating work and personal spaces to improve learning.
You plop down a few inches away with a winning smile, “So, what are your plans?”
“Football practice—”
“Something other than what I already know.”
He exhales loudly. “Catching up on coursework at the cafe, probably.”
This takes you by surprise, only because you work this upcoming weekend. “Really? Well, guess we’ll see each other then.” Maybe tenacity is just rooted deeply in the family’s genes.
“It’s a nice place,” he reasons, sneaking a glance at you.
You begin squirming, trying to turn from Rin without looking like a complete idiot. Then, slowly, “...What do you like about it?”
And, of course, the words barely escape your lips when the whole building seems to creak and groan under the effort of the storm. The power flicks suddenly around the room, and then it’s complete, utter darkness.
You don’t feel Rin’s presence next to you until a sudden gust of air hits your ear. You flinch and clap a hand over your ear while Rin mumbles out a quick apology and stumbles to establish his own personal space on the bed. 
It starts to rain heavier now, water slapping hard against the window panels in big, ugly raindrops. You should probably get up and find a flashlight or any lighting of some sort, something to make the situation less awkward, but your body feels like a rock. You don’t want to move but, at the same time, your mind is telling you to run far, far away from Rin.
Heart throbbing against your chest, you gather up the courage to look at Rin’s face with the help of the dim lighting from the window sill. His eyes are half-lidded, seemingly glazed over in deep thought. He doesn’t say a single word, and every moment of his silence stirs the growing anxiousness inside. You swallow, suddenly aware that he’s beginning to unravel your sanity just by being there besides you. 
“Are you, um, are you okay with thunderstorms?” you adjust your position with shaky limbs, trying your best to not cross his physical boundaries.
Rin fidgets in response, but you can tell he’s also trying to keep his cool. “I’m fine with them. I just wasn’t expecting the power to suddenly…”
“Yeah, my apartment sucks,” you groan, inwardly. “This doesn’t happen all the time, I swear.” A flash of lightning illuminates the room, you squint against the light. “Maintenance won’t be on site ‘till tomorrow morning. I doubt you want to stay so we’ll have to cut the session short for today.”
You feel the mattress dip a little. The two of you fall silent, and there’s a weird awkward tension hanging in the room, one where it leaves you both red and flushing. Your mind is racing, and there’s a million questions. He hasn’t made any moves of getting up, nor has he said anything about leaving. It’s a bit uncharacteristic for Rin to be unsure in a given situation like this, or is he just being polite? This feels different from your first meeting, it’s still unpredictable, still a confusing mess.
“Or we could talk!” you quickly add on. “I…uh, if you want to talk, that is.”
After a few more moments of that awkward, creeping silence permeating the room, Rin sighs. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to talk about,” he whispers and looks up, his face looking worn out.
“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. Silence is also okay.”
“I like silence,” he confesses.
“We can just sit here then,” you agree, “silence in itself can be therapeutic, too.”
You don’t necessarily agree with yourself. If it’s not for work at the cafe, you spend a good deal of your time in silence. Studying, grading students’ papers, thinking about your family back home, and preparing for life after graduation. It all gets overwhelming when you sit and process everything in your mind. Even so, the silence that falls between you and your best friend’s brother feels comfortable, in spite of the initial close proximity. You find yourself leaning back into the bed frame’s headboard, curling up sideways.
About ten minutes in, Rin cracks.
“When I was a kid, I used to be afraid of storms. Sae used to make dumb blanket forts with me. It’s silly, but…”
And, despite it being dark, you shoot him a knowing look. For a moment, Rin looks like he regrets even opening his mouth, like he’s about to blurt out a quick ‘nevermind’, but you don’t give him a chance.
“I’m listening, you don’t have to stop.” Unknowingly, you give his shoulders a little nudge of encouragement. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Rin thinks it over, and he only has to for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
He talks for a while, until he runs out of things to say. Or, rather, he runs out of energy to say anything. His thought process is a jumbled mess of how his relationship with Sae developed. Being the younger sibling, it’s natural for Rin to look up to his brother, to want to gain acknowledgement and become some sort of a mirror image. The thought of Sae looking after Rin while both of their parents were working overtime to provide for their education is also something you could heavily relate to. Around some point down the line, Sae began to distance himself from Rin without any apparent reasoning, at least in his eyes. Towards the end, it becomes a rambling about nothing, too, and you’re positive that Rin hasn’t even gotten into the meat of the issue.
Rin appears mildly exhausted, flustered, and a little embarrassed by the time he’s done. He turns to you, eyes narrowed, “Don’t say that you feel sorry for me, I’ve heard it about a dozen times already. It gets old.”
You shake your head, processing everything. You can tell he has so much more he wants to get off of his chest, so many things he wants to unload, things that he hasn’t even realized that’s been weighing him down. 
“I wasn’t gonna say that,” and he stays still, studying your next words with high concentration. “Sae and I have been close for quite a while, and I totally get how he’s an ass—to you and just about everyone else. He’s abrasive and straight to the point with a lot of things. Also pretty sure he’s allergic to communication. Hell, I’m not entirely sure how I was able to get close to him in the first place,” you flare a deep breath out of your nose and rhythmically tap your fingers along your thighs. “But I know he has a weird way of caring for others, too.”
“How so?” Rin doesn’t sound annoyed, just confused. Almost hopeful, even. 
“Well, he’s signed you up for tutoring, which might actually not be a good example of care but, um… He normally hates asking people for favors. This is just an unconventional way of saying that he’s making sure you’re doing okay.”
“Could’ve said it himself.”
“Yeah, well, you came to the cafe because he told you, right?”
With that, he quickly shuts his mouth, forming it into a subtle pout. Is he embarrassed that you’re right?
Another flash of lightning comes by, followed by low rumbling thunder. Then, an idea brews.
“This is gonna sound a bit crazy but… do you wanna build a fort?”
Rin snorts. “What’s with that?”
“Well, it doesn't seem like you’re in a rush to leave. Then again, maybe a taxi service would be expensive right now…”
He offers up little resistance to your suggestion and ends up dragging a couple of chairs into your living room from the kitchen. You dig around in your closet and pull out a heavy winter blanket, the ones with a giant tiger imprinted on the front. It’s been stored away for quite some time, leaving bits of dust and other mysterious remnants in the air as you straighten the fabric out. Hopefully Rin’s not sensitive to dust mites. 
One side of the blanket is stretched around the edge of the couch and tucked beneath the cushions. Another corner is wrapped and fastened clumsily around a chair. It hangs over the edge of the coffee table and is held in place by the second chair in the corresponding corner. The overall impression is ridiculous, but there's a decent space on the floor in front of the sofa. 
“That’s a bit better,” you decide, with a faint laugh. 
You’re pressed close to one another, and you have to admit that it’s intimate in a way that you didn’t expect. The air is a little warm, heavy with their breath and the faint heat from the candles. It’s… nice. Outside, the wind is howling, but it is fainter, partially obscured by the blanket barrier that keeps the outside world away.
You decide to stream a horror movie to pass the time, until the weather subsides a bit. You’ll probably go over your data plan for the month, but right now, you don’t really care. You prop the phone up against one of Rin’s textbooks that he didn’t get the chance to go over today, and end up watching a really shitty slasher movie from the 80’s.
At some point, you doze off, leaning in and head tipping to tentatively rest on his shoulder. It’s not the most comfortable position. You’re both slouched back against the couch, pillow wedged under your backs. Your phone eventually runs dead, and the candles burn into nothing—smoldering and smoking as they sputter out.
“Hey,” Rin faintly calls out your name. “It’s getting late.”
You stir in your sleep, finding the strength to open your eyes and tilt your head up. You’re sure that your heart is going to stop beating when he takes notice. The look on your face must’ve been a good one, because now Rin’s six shades of red deeper and he’s got his hand over his mouth. 
“Oh god, I’m sorry, Itoshi!”
“It’s… okay,” his voice is low, sounding almost uncertain. “Rin is also fine.”
You fail to notice his fingers making their way past your forearm, past your neck, until you feel them settle on your warm cheek. Shivers course through your body, and the resulting sounds you release is halfway between a sigh and a whimper. His eyes are half-lidded, glazed, and you’re positive yours are no different.
“Sorry, Rin…” you’re apologizing again, his name sounds foreign on your tongue but feels like home all at the same time. Your voice begins to trail off. You can’t finish, your eyes are already closed, head tilted. As you breathe, with your heart rattling in your throat, you feel Rin lean in close.
As soon as you collide into him, his lips meld against yours.
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It’s funny how life works. Some days seem to drag, impossibly slow, especially when you’re trapped in your own mind — replaying everything, obsessing over every single action you’ve done wrong in your life. There are days where you barely get out of bed until it’s time for classes or to get ready for work, where you just go through the motions. 
Other days, they fly by in the blink of an eye. Sometimes it’s because you hole yourself up at the library, nose glued to your textbooks, and body running on adrenaline. Other times, it’s because you keep replaying that kiss you gave Rin, wondering what it means, or if it just means nothing at all. You remember being roped in by the shy, tentative edge in his voice that reminded you when you first met him at the shop, where you first had been infatuated.
Rin hasn’t spoken to you since that night at your apartment. On one hand, while you’re worried that you might’ve said something out of line, and maybe that kiss came off too strong. Which, of course it fucking came off too strong. You kissed your best friend’s brother, and that just spells disaster on its own. Although, on the other hand, you’re glad that you guys are on a first name basis.
That’s fine. Rin seems to be going through a lot and the best professional way to handle this situation is to be… professional. Everything is all too much, and you've decided that you need to take a break.
That night, you’ve made a quick trip home after work to stay at your family’s. You don’t have time to mull over a certain junior of yours, not when you have your own things to take care of. 
Your parents’ are currently on their anniversary date, leaving behind your two younger siblings all by themselves. You think two eight year olds could handle themselves just fine for a few hours but, then again, kids these days are just built differently.
You ended up ordering takeout and made them sit through a painstakingly long foreign film. Subtitles always put kids to sleep faster, you’ve learned. After carrying them to bed, you decide to spend the rest of your night sitting outside on the patio and wait for the return of your parents.
The skies are always clearer in the suburbs compared to the bustling city lights that pollute everywhere else. You sit down on a small plastic chair, one belonging to your siblings, and spend a good few minutes appreciating the twinkling stars and the raw smell of the countryside. You fix your gaze out in the distance, at the same hills and mountains the sprawling city overlooks.
Feeling inspired, you fish out your phone and decide to send Sae a quick picture of the surroundings with the caption ‘miss you loser :P’. It’s a small mini-game that you two started a year back, sending each other photos whenever away from campus, even though it’s mainly you sending the photos and he sends back middle finger emojis. 
Though, as soon as you hit the send button, dread immediately fills your gut. 
“Wait, shit, shit—wrong brother!” 
Your heart hammers against your chest as you stare at the now seemingly flirty caption and, dear lord, your reputation might as well be down the gutters. This will go down as probably the most embarrassing moments of your life, and what makes things even worse is that you know Rin has seen it because three gray dots are now jumping up and down in the chat log.
God, what are you even supposed to say to that?
[Sae’s Brother!!!]: I’m sorry?
When you receive the responding text, you feel yourself losing ten years off your lifespan. You bury your face into your hands and whine, loudly. 
This incident on top of whatever the hell happened during the night of the storm… Rin probably thinks you’re a creep for doing this. You can already imagine how it’ll play out: Rin tells Sae that you’re harassing him, Sae stops being your friend, and you’ll probably have to drop out and move out of the country. Rin might never even show himself to you again, and that thought alone makes your throat tighten up.
However, before you can descend into further madness, if that’s even possible, your phone vibrates again. You swallow the needles in your throat and peek through the cracks between your fingers.
[Sae’s Brother!!!]: Looks nice. 
And, to your surprise, there’s an image attached to the text. It’s a dim photo of his opened textbook, a filled in study guide sheet beside his laptop, and on the right side of his desk is a drink from the cafe. You want to make a dumb oolong tea joke, but now you feel bad for disrupting his study session. 
Then, another notification comes through.
[Sae’s Brother!!!]: Miss you too. :P
Your heart promptly multiplies into a thousand pieces. You lean into the chair, almost tipping yourself over. Your heart’s beating so hard that you can practically feel it pulse against your temples. Taking deep breaths, you don’t look at your phone until the urge to run away fades. 
It feels like you're dreaming, and you know it’s absolutely stupid and silly, that you feel like you’re floating right into a dumb romance drama right now, but you can’t help it. Not when Rin is pulling stunts like this. He probably meant it as a joke, maybe only responded back to mirror you, who knows. But someone like him should not have the power to be so, so adorable under all that hard exterior. That’s just illegal…
“God,” your breath shudders out and you thumb over the keyboard to respond back.
[You]: didn’t mean to send that to you haha… ;; [You]: but i take it that studying is going well??
Rin replies back within seconds.
[Sae’s Brother!!!]: I know. [Sae’s Brother!!!]: Studying’s been fine. Might need to look over something when we meet up again, if that’s okay. [You]: of course!! just lemme know what day works :)
Rin sends you a thumbs up emoji and you don’t get a response for a while after that, figuring that he probably went back to work. It doesn’t matter anyway, because it feels like a hundred pounds just got lifted from your shoulders and you feel so light that you’re convinced that you can see the stars even clearer now. 
Thank the heavens he didn’t make it weirder than it already was.
Fuzzy-brained, you decide that it might be best to call it a night and retreat back into the house and towards your old bedroom. Even while laying down on your plush mattress, curled up, with the aircon on blast, you couldn’t fall asleep — at least, not for a long while.
By the time you pass out, it’s from sheer exhaustion and adrenaline rush. Your phone remains gripped against your chest as you sleep, and you end up missing another message from Rin late in the night.
[Sae’s Brother!!!]: Your manager doesn’t make good oolong. Come back soon.
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There are several moments when you tell yourself you need to take a couple steps back. That you really, really need to calm down about Itoshi Rin.
The rest of the week comes and goes. You haven’t seen Rin in a few days. You guys sorta text, with him giving you curt updates on his assignments, but Rin goes long periods of time without replying. And, when he does reply, even though it’s just a text on screen, you get a distinct idea that he’s probably tired. So most of the time you end up lounging around at Sae’s apartment, busying yourself with your own assignments and bothering Sae about the end of the year assessment. And maybe you mope to him about his younger brother. Just a little bit.
“Does Rin hate me?” 
“Why do you ask?” You could practically hear the eye roll in his response.
You feel a bit juvenile when you explain the reasoning, it’s obvious in your tone. “He’s, um, been kinda dry.”
“Is water dry?”
“...No?”
“Then there’s your answer,” Sae yawns and flips to the next page in whatever new psychological thriller novel he picked up. “Should feel lucky that he’s even responding back, I barely get an emoji out of him.”
Part of the fun thing about being friends with Sae is having full 24 hour access to his apartment. Whenever you’re running low on food, it doesn’t matter if it’s milk or potatoes, somehow there’s always extras at his place. The least fun thing about being friends with him is that he’s god awful at keeping up with conversations. Or, at least in this case, giving you advice on how to approach Rin appropriately.
You decide to change up the topic, slightly. Your mind’s currently running on three shots of espresso and one shitty breakfast sandwich from the dining hall, not really the best combo, and the words start flooding out. “On a different note, if someone you kinda just met shows a side of them that they’ve probably never shown to anyone, how would you react?”
Sae straightens from the couch, eyes flickering to you then back to the book. “Depends on who it is,” he shrugs. He doesn’t sound too interested in the conversation.
“Wise words, I see…” you hum in deep thought. You begin strutting around the tiny living room, circling around in front of the TV and keeping a somewhat watchful eye on Sae as you choose your next words carefully. “What if… it’s like a big thing? Super pent up for so long that they just start pouring all their emotions onto you? How would you react to that?”
“Sounds like a weird person. I would probably leave,” Sae’s voice is dismissive.
You groan, fully understanding Rin’s personal dilemma. “At least pretend to be serious right now!”
And, with that, he shuts his book and rests his cheek against his palm, sighing. “Maybe they told you because they’re afraid of talking to their close friends. Or maybe they just feel comfortable around you, I don’t know. Since you’re so caught up about this… who are you talking about?”
Shit, he caught on. 
Sae hardens his gaze on you, suspicion sprawled across his sharp features.
“I—um, uh, it’s a classmate of mine! We were going over grad school applications and they seemed really lost about if they wanted to apply or not… I was just a little surprised when they started talking about their insecurities with me, that’s all. We’re a little bit closer now, though…” your voice trails off and Sae cocks his head a little, pursing his lips, but decides to leave the topic be.
“Right, well… how are Rin’s studies coming along?” Sae asks after a long pause and backs out of your space. 
It’s not like Rin’s doing terribly at his studies. He’s picking up some of the methods and variables faster than most people in your department, perhaps even learning at a faster pace than yourself. Though, and this is just an observation, you’ve noticed that Rin rarely takes notes in his classes. When he does, well, it’s sloppy and unfocused. You’re starting to worry, since his midterm is rounding the corner, and you’ve been itching to ask if he remembers the material or if he doesn’t care. You want to, really, but it’s technically not your job to look after him full-time.
Unless it totally has something to do with the weird family dynamic that you can never really nail down? Yeah, you’re definitely not sticking your nose into that mud anytime soon. The last time you did that, well… 
“He’s doing fine!” You offer up that much. It’s a little taste of honesty. Not the full truth. Somehow, you know that Sae is damn well aware of that, too.
“As long as he’s motivated, that’s all that really matters.” Sae mumbles. He drops the conversation and it’s probably a good thing, because you can’t concentrate at all.
By the end of this particular meeting, you feel like you’re going to vomit. Your stomach has jumped into your throat, and you’re struggling to keep your breakfast down. It’s way too late to call out of work, so you power through and manage to make it in time for your shift. It’s not until you arrive that you notice a familiar tuff of black hair behind the register, eyes glimmering with all flirt and talk with a female student across the counter. 
Then, it hits you, if there’s one person other than Sae who can give mildly okay advice, it’s him.
When the evening rush dies down, you relay the situation back to Oliver, throwing on the crucial details—well, minus the kiss—unfortunately you can’t risk that information going out of his mouth. Unlike Sae, he shows interest from the get go, providing you live reactions and commentary as the story continues. When asked for his thoughts, Oliver covered his face and howled in laughter for a long while, getting stares from customers, before leaning in and eyes you very seriously.
“Kid’s got a massive crush on you, that’s for sure.”
Oliver is obviously a better listener compared to Sae, but also has a tendency to stretch things out for dramatic purposes. You should’ve mentally prepared yourself for this.
“Wait a sec,” Oliver sits on the countertop, despite the rules encouraging against it written on the chalkboard behind him, ponders hard for a moment, and then, “You like him!”
You almost spill a shot of espresso all over your fingers, letting out a small screech, and look up, doing a bit of a double take at your friend. “Don’t you have better jokes to make?!”
Oliver tosses you a clean towel from underneath the counter space and offers an apologetic smile, but he looks amused. “You wanted my honest opinion. Hot, young stud falls for his tutor who also works as a barista? The prompt just writes for itself.”
You swallow a gagging noise. “Please don’t ever refer to Rin as a hot, young stud… even if it is true.”
“If we want to peel back several more layers, maybe this is all part of Sae’s elaborate plan to hook you up with someone.”
“Can’t you have another family emergency again?” You like Oliver. He’s possibly your only favorite coworker out of all the other part-timers, but you’re very unimpressed with him right now. “I’m still in college. You’re acting like I’m going to be forever alone, or something.”
“While that might be true,” Oliver agrees, mildly. “I still think the kid might just be bad with… y’know, showing emotions.” He motions his hands in a heart shape near his chest. “I was like that when I was his age, too.”
“Gross, now you’re just making yourself sound like an old man.” With that beard, it sure adds a few years to his face. No wonder he’s so popular with the ladies.
“You should be more honest with yourself,” he softly chastises, offering you a blueberry muffin that he definitely stole from the back. “Life would feel a lot easier.”
“You talk as if I’m a fictional character in some stupid story,” you sigh, gracefully accepting the baked good in defeat.
There’s a part of you that feels bitter after the conversation, afraid that he’s right. You’ve been solely focusing on your academics for the most part, and that’s not to say that you haven’t had others showing interest in you. 
You remembered Oliver hounding you down on your very first day at the coffee shop, trying to get your attention by making you clean up his spills, not sure why he thought that was a good idea… Another guy from your department also tried hitting asking you out by creating a fake math problem that would eventually lead to him asking for your number, but the variables were messed up and all over the place that it didn’t make any sense. 
You don’t put relationships on a high pedestal, and you don’t necessarily need to be in one right now. Maintaining a steady income and keeping your scholarship should be your top priority. That, and not falling for your best friend’s brother.
Things go uneventfully for a little while longer at the shop. You and Oliver were going to put on the latest episode of the Bachelor to pass the remaining shift but, by the time you were just about to finish setting up the monitor, the front door bell chimes.
You blink. You and Oliver are in the corner tucked at the back of the store. It’s ten minutes until closing and your stomach churns wildly at the thought of another inconsiderate customer. Because if it happens to be another frat guy ordering a “secret menu” item that some person made up on TikTok again… well, you’re gonna start crying.
“I’ll go take care of it,” you sigh, fishing out the store’s keys out of your pocket. “Just tell me who the guy ends up with.”
Oliver grins as he presses the play button. “Roger that, boss.”
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You hadn’t really expected to see Itoshi Rin of all people to swing by.
He barely gets any words out when you emerge to the front counter, needless to say you were the same. After a few mindless scrabbling around and awkward shifting, Rin spits out that he needs an emergency tutoring session, back at his apartment of all places. And, at some point in the night, between your mind turning into mush and Rin refusing to look you in the eyes, Oliver sends you off a little early before you have the chance to help him close.
Which ultimately leads you off here.
“So, what’s the burning question you have for me?” you ask, setting down your book bag on the floor. 
Rin’s apartment is a lot minimalistic compared to yours, and more on the traditional side. His place is a bit further out of the downtown area, into the quieter parts of Tokyo, but not terribly far from the school’s public transit. Here, the buildings aren’t skyscrapers and the traffic is manageable, which means a lot more parks and greenery. 
Instead of a dining table with chairs, he opted for a low coffee table and cushions instead. There’s tatami flooring, a small bookshelf in the corner with organized sports magazines, textbooks, and a few horror films. Hanging on the walls are a variety of posters; most of them are famous foreign football players and some are a few popular movie covers. 
The coffee table is placed right near his bedside, so it makes a perfect back rest for you. Rin keeps a small desk lamp on, he’s mentioned to you in passing that small amounts of warm lighting helps him focus. This setup is certainly a lot more comfortable compared to yours.
Rin decides to sit next to you this time, pulling out an array of notebooks from his bag and fidgets with his pens on the table before flipping to his last pages of notes. “It’s about… torque and resistance.” He buries half of his face into his palm as his fingers trace, almost obsessively, through the notes. From one glance, his writing looks coherent enough, better from when he first started out.
“Um, yeah, sure,” you keep a close eye on him. Rin is behaving rather strangely. Restless, agitated, annoyed, or a combination of all three. Though, a minute into the small lecture, Rin softly calls out your name. “Y-Yes?” you can begin to feel your neck growing dangerously hot.
“About that night, last week…” he finally pushes the words out, but lets them hang in the air, inconclusive.
Your cheeks flare up, and you turn away, clearly embarrassed. Suddenly, you feel like a complete idiot all over again. “I—I’m sorry about that,” you stammer out, staring down at your fingers. “I don’t know what came over me, everything was so dark and—”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he consoles, quickly. “I’m glad that it happened. It was… I… it was good.”
It’s a bit of a rambling response, but it leaves you stunned and flustered, without even realizing it.  You finally turn to look at him, eyes a little misty, your cheeks still warm. You’re relieved by Rin’s reply. You open your mouth to respond back, but nothing tangible comes out.
“I want it to happen again,” Rin finds himself saying, tone suddenly low and dark. He shoots you a look, one that you can’t quite interpret. It’s like he’s hovering somewhere between concern and fear that he’s pushing too far. And maybe he is, but you are too.
You let your legs slip out from underneath and you lean up against Rin’s bed. If it wasn’t there, you’d collapse for sure.
Rin follows suit but pulls away from you abruptly, and you manage to look up just in time to catch the flush in his cheeks and neck. It’s hard to see it in the dark but, if Rin’s body language is anything to go by, he’s incredibly embarrassed. 
“Are you okay?” His voice is quiet, and you manage a shaky nod, but that nod is immediately followed by another involuntary sound from the back of your throat.
“I, um, should we tell…?” 
You’re not entirely sure where Rin stands with his relationship with Sae, nor if both of you can predict the outcome of what would happen. Sae is still a close friend, but you can’t hide the fact that you like Rin away from him forever. Plus, would this even realistically work out? Graduate school, job interviews, things of that sort aren’t in Rin’s horizons, but…
“We don’t have to do anything right now,” he seems to catch on and clears his throat, looking away. “I just wanted to make my feelings clear.”
You briefly think back to Oliver’s advice earlier in the night, about being more honest with your feelings. How things will magically become easier. It’ll be unfair if you didn’t pour out your heart like Rin had done just now. But words can’t be the only way of showing your honesty.
“We can take it slowly,” you stumble out.
Screw it, maybe you can ask Sae for a favor after you’re done tutoring.
Those words seem to melt Rin’s hard exterior almost instantly. Wrapping both your arms around his neck, you press a chaste kiss to his inviting lips.
Rin doesn’t say anything else, but there’s another little teasing nudge of his shoulder bumping against yours, and it somehow communicates more than it should.
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taglist: @hellothere9597 @itzmeme @scaraslover @kidd3ath @torureadz
a/n: hi again everyone... if you've made it this far - thank you ;; this piece might just be the longest fic i've ever written (to date...) and tbh im not sure if i like it ? maybe i do idk!! there were so many times i wanted to throw my laptop against the wall gaah did you know that i originally wanted sae to come in and interrupt towards the end? thank god i didnt otherwise our two main love birds wouldn't have been able to kiss... anyways, ty for reading and hopefully you'll see me around more <3 <3 ty i love you
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st7rnioioss · 3 months
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౨ৎ⋆ ˚。⋆ "I really want to kiss you."
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF, kissing, swearing.
friends to lovers (yay omg)
a/n: DEDICATED TO MIDDLE PART MATT. i cant, hes just so cute im dissolving. i hope you guys like this teehee i personally feel like its a bit rushed but oh well. I LOVE YOU ALL<33
part two
౨ৎ
It was a hot summer day in Boston. You were standing outside your school with all your friends - Matt, Nick, Chris, Madi, and Nate. Because of the weather, you didn’t want to spend the whole day on Matt’s bed, scrolling on TikTok, watching movies, or doing homework. It would be a waste of good weather for once. “Anyone up for ice cream?” you asked the group, turning to face Matt.
Matt had been your best friend since second grade. If anyone wanted to be friends with you, you had to be friends with Matt as well, and vice versa. When you and Matt were 9 you had promised that if you weren’t married by 30, you would get married. You both laugh about it to this day, but you never really dropped the promise. Guess that kinda sums up your relationship.
Chris and Nick kinda came as a package deal since they were Matt’s triplet brothers, but you didn’t mind since you all got along great. Matt had stuck with you whenever times got tough, especially when you started high school. Both you and Matt had struggled a lot with school and anxiety so that only strengthened your relationship. He was the one person you looked up to, who had gone through the same stuff as you. Often you had questioned if you liked Matt. You had an idea he might have a crush on you, but you never got it confirmed. Madi had told you multiple times you would be “the perfect couple”, but you didn’t believe in such things. Neither that “he obviously likes you”.
“Yeah sure,” Matt shot a soft smile at you, which you returned. “Any of you guys?” you turned to face them. “I’m sorry, me and Chris got hockey practice,” Nate said with a frown. Oh, right. “Yeah we’re sorry, we’re going shopping with Mikayla,” Nick referred to Madi, who both turned to you and Matt with awe in their expressions.
You looked up at Matt who was already looking at you. “Yeah, no it’s fine guys. We can just find some time in the weekend then? All six of us,” you smiled at them. They all nodded, and you then said your goodbyes. “Let’s go then!” Matt said with an almost proud smile. “Alright, captain!” you both laughed, heading to the ice cream place.
-
You anxiously fidgeted with your rings as you were standing in line. Matt had asked you something, but you were completely zoned out. He must’ve noticed, 'cause he took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Hey, are you alright?” he asked, concern spreading his face. You quickly looked up at him, hesitating for a second. “No- yeah, I’m- I’m good. Just a bit tired,” you said, smiling reassuringly at him. He just nodded slowly, his eyes fixating between each of yours, observing your face for any signs of discomfort. “Alright then.. I’ll have the chocolate, what about you? Coffee as usual?” he asked as the line was getting shorter, not letting go of your hand. “Yup. Heard it should be good at this exact place,” you smiled excitedly.
Your attention was on Matt, almost forgetting your surroundings. You stared at him, adoring how he was so great at interacting with people, strangers. How well he noticed when something was off. Your mind was spinning for a brief moment, before he looked back down at you, quickly looking back up at the man in the booth.
“Um- your ice cream. It’s- It’s done. Ready. I- here you go,” he stuttered nervously as he handed you your ice cream. You looked down from his gaze and shook your head for a second, taking the ice cream from his hand. He was very evidently blushing. “Thank you,” you muttered, holding back a smile. Matt let go of your hand to eat his ice cream with the blue plastic spoon. “Hey, there’s a free bench right there,” you pointed, dragging Matt along before anyone else would take the free seats.
-
“Oh my God, that’s hilarious,” Matt chuckled. He was leaning against you, watching TikTok on your phone. Both your ice creams were long gone. You were looking down at your phone, but you felt Matt’s gaze burning into you. He then gently pushed a piece of hair behind your ear to see your face better. You looked up at him to meet his stare. “What? Why are you staring at me? Is there ice cream on my lips? Face?” you asked confused. His gaze was on your lips before it darted back to your eyes. “I- I really want to kiss you,” he whispered.
What? He wants to what?
Before you even processed it, his lips were gently kissing yours. Instinctively your eyes closed, reaching for his cheeks. After a second he pulled away. “Woah..” you whispered, not taking your eyes off Matt’s. You laughed awkwardly, breaking eye contact to hide the blush spreading across your cheeks. Matt giggled a bit before grabbing your chin. “Can I do that again? Please?” he whispered, his cheeks beet red. “Y-yeah..” you smiled nervously, leaning back in to kiss him. There was no desperation in the kiss. Just more of a passionate kiss. Matt’s hands were placed right under your ear, holding your face, not wanting to let go anytime soon. “Oh my God, I could kiss you forever,” he giggled nervously, pulling away from your lips. You reach one hand up to grab his, holding it tightly. “I’m confused. Do you like me? Uh, do you have a crush on me?” you blushed, your gaze darting between his eyes. “You’re oblivious, aren’t you?” Matt laughed, and you quickly joined him. “Of course I like you, are you stupid? I’m madly in love with you,” you hid your face in his chest as you giggled. “I really like you too, Matt,” you mumbled, leaning back up before you kissed his bright pink cheek.
-
“I can’t believe it! I fucking hate scrapes,” you exclaimed. You were sitting on the toilet lid in a public restroom since you had gotten a deep scrape from the bench. Matt was kneeling in front of you, wrapping a bandaid around your finger. He kissed your finger, looking up at you. “Will I live, Doc?” you asked him, trying your best to hold back a laugh. He did the same. “Ahh, I don’t know. I think we have to amputate before an infection spreads,” he shrugged before you both broke into laughter. Matt ended up following you home, your fingers intertwined all the way. You were now standing in front of each other on your front porch. “I’ll text you, okay?” he smiled, both of his hands holding yours, his thumb brushing gently over the bandaid on your finger. “Alright. Goodnight, Matt,” you giggled, leaning up to give him a quick peck on his lips. “I- uh. Goodnight.” he stuttered before chuckling, a blush appearing on his face.
a/n: omg i cant. i love fluff so so much. giggling and kicking my feet.
tagslist: @chrissgirlsstuff
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