#im watching vods rn and i feel insane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-lunaberg · 1 year

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OKAYYYYYYYY okay, Im about to watch Tommys The Last Stream vod after I go for another quick walk, after that its just Tubbos stream which is probably just the same thing but from a different pov anyway, then its just the Syndicate End vod and then its just a two minute video of Ranboos end and then Im finally free. I really wish I could do this properly on my blog instead of having to do this in my notes app but I simply cannot wait another day. Im so hopped up on adrenaline rn i dont think I can sleep tonight, especially if I dont finally finish this. Also I have therapy tomorrow when Im writing this and I need to calm tf down before I show up at the therapists office all shaky n shit because of some minecraft roleplay. Its almost 6 pm rn and I shall be free of this nightmare before the clock strikes midnight. Amen.

Tubbitch boi

I dont even have anything to say man

This is so upsetting dude

I made it through these first 15 minutes with basically no pausing and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that bc I just know the second that joker starts talking to Dream I'll be pausing every 5 seconds

Why the fuck does the prison look like it was under water for like a decade and now theres just barnacles n shit growing on everythinh

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABEY RIGHT ROUND

DREAM

Alright I took two minutes to mentally prepare myself now Im ready for this

Wait why the fuck was he just hangin out in the main cell if he wasnt even expecting Tommy. weirdo behaviour

PUNZ IS THERE AS WELL??? WERE THEY HAVING A DATE IN THE TORTURE BOX

"IM READY TO FUCKING KILL THE BOTH OF YOU"

*long uncomfortable pause*

"Uhm... okay"

It looks like Tommy is doing a good job stalling them so far so Im very curious how it goes from this to the stuff Ive read spoilers about

Ouhhhhhh I wonder how hes gonna react to that dig at Spirittttttt.........

Okay, no like verbal ouward reaction but that is what got him to start attacking Tommy

I dont think Punz will care that Tommy tried to kill himself bc of Dream, I think hed find that kinda hot

"The world doesnt fucking revolve around you"??? Bro Punz Boomer arc??? "Those darn zoomers wanting compassion and kindness after almost killing themselves

"Youre insane to think everything revolves around you" hello?? says the guy who fancies himself a god and also thinks everyone but him and his boytoy deserve to die because theyre "simple-minded"

OH NO i completely forgot, the nuke is not gonna hit them. this is allpretty much pointless

DAMN YOU JACK MANIFOLD

Okay listen, Im a huge c!Dream sympathetizer and I know this is gonna end with him being presented in a sympathetic and pitiable light and Im gonna fall for it no matter what because of course I am but like, he has been so comically awful throughout this entire finale I am not expecting this to end in an actually satisfying way at all

Oh that sly dog got him monologuing

Girl help I dont remember pre-rp dsmp well enough to tell if Dream is embellishing shit and victimizing himself or not

OKAY dream smp from Dreams pov lets gooooooo

??? what.

Bro Dream is not in his right mind hes so far away from his right mind he might as well be chillin in lmoonberg that guy is so mentally ill (source: I have like atleast 90% of his mentall illnesses for sure)

what do you MEAN "know more"???

Maybe Im just a simple minded nihilist but why does that matter man. Why die so you can "know more" when you can live and have like, a party with your buddies

Honestly, I feel like Dreams motivations are so stupid at this point, like literally just make him someone who worships XD and is favoured by him or whatever and then also have him have this morbid curiosity about the stuff beyond the server and have him try and become god while appeasing his actual god in the hopes that he'll reveal his otherworldly knowledge to him or whatever idk man

Hows Dream gonna grow old with the people he loves when he doesnt have fucking friends HAH got im

No offense but why has most of this finale been Tommy philosophically waxing about how you should accept death even though all thats waiting for you on the other side is eternal torment with Dream responding by being like "but why though?? :(" when that has like, literally nothing to do with any of the Dream SMPs themes? Like, okay, theres been a ton of storylines obviously but the two main ones are definitely Tommy vs Dream (its essentially the throughline to all this bullshit) and Wilbur, Lmanberg and every single attempt at a country after that. Because of this I would say that the dsmps themes are Cycles of Violence and Legacy and when they intersect you occasionally get glimmers of this idea of History Repeating Itself.

The Legacy theme is insanely well executed, no notes, Im in love

The Cycles of Violence theme.... less so. I'll probably make a more detailed post about this in the future since I dont wanna waste too much time with this liveblog. But I personally think that if they wanted to pull this theme off while also making Dream sympathetic, he absolutely needed to be affected by the violence he inadvertently caused and the audience needs to actually see it in atleast one (1) scene that would be impossible to twist into something unsympathetic unless you were looking at it in bad faith. Dream being thrown in jail and subsequently physically tortured wouldve been a great opportunity for this kind of stuff like, I remember lurking in the fandom around this time, this was the point where plenty of people were starting to sympathize simply because of how inhumane the prison was. Like, if they werent gonna show him break a little in front of others for their perspectives, the least they couldve done was make like, a few short videos of Dream being alone, doing whatever, you wouldnt even need dialogue and then pepper those throughout the post-prison arcs. You could have one like two or three minute video right after Tommys visit where he maybe tries writing those stupid essays out of boredom before burning them and then some potatoes plop into the pool and you really get a sense for the emptyness and isolation of it. Another good one would be one showing how Quackity tortures him, or maybe one taking place right after one of the torture seassions with him starving and shaking and maybe trying to write a log or something but failing because everything hurts. Him being in the prison after hes escaped and made it his base again, watching it slowly decay and fall apart with him in it. They really dont have to be long, again, two or three minute videos wouldve done a lot of good here imo. And then you could also sprinkle in some monologues because as much as I like to make fun of the snake monologue in my head, it did give some much needed insight into Dreams perspective on all of this while making him a bit more sympathetic.

Honestly, Dream is making some pretty reasonable points here (if you completely disregard all the context of the entire dsmp but still) but like dude, you cannot go around calling your teenage nemesis a pest that such obvious villain behaviour dude

Im not gonna lie, i thought the very last final scene between Dream and Tommy would take place in a more, idk, intimate? place. Thats not the right word but whatever I cant think of anything else that fits. But like, they absolutely do not have a reason to leave so I guess this is just gonna continue with Tommy and Dream talking in this fucked up room of this fucked up prison while Punz is also right there

Okay, I just got to the bit where Tommy says 'Im sorry' to Dream and I know a lot of people were upset by that bc they took it as him apologizing to his abusers for being 'abuse-worthy' if you wanna phrase it like that and thats not what I got from that at all. Like, its technically part of a very earnest emotional statement so his tone was kinda soft and apologetic but it really came across as an 'Im sorry you feel that way' kind of apology to me

BRUH HE JUST KILLED HIM??? WHAT

What the fuck is happening now

Is this hell.

NO ITS THE EARLY DREAM TEAM STREAMS THIS TRULY IS HELL

Oh my god please tell me this wont go on for much longer I already watched like 30 hours of these boring ass guys dicking around back in late 2020 i cannot take a second more

Bro why did they pick the part of the stream thats just Dream trying to figure out his fucking minecraft settings for this this isnt doing anything

Please bring me back I dont wanna watch this boring shit

What is ahppening

Okay they revived him, are they gonna explain why his afterlife hell is just him watching the most boring minecraft streams on planet earth

"It doesnt matter if I get horrifically traumatized because I'll just live forever :)"

Okay I think Im starting to understand Dreams motivations here a bit more and they make more sense but its like, if you care so much about eliminating suffering why did you go out of your way to torment Tommy like that in exile. Like, i know its because you did want him to be your friend at some point and maybe you still do but you didnt like how he would never listen to you so you figured itd be better to just break him down mentally but like, I dont think that would be necessary for the long term goal of eliminating all death and suffering at all so, what

Dude, he was not happy he was adjusting his minecraft settings

What if he just started sobbed. Hes all smug like "well, im happy now :)" and then the dam jist breaks. wouldnt that be grand

Hes fucking psychoanalyzing the green bitch this rules

Im sorry man I was not envisioning this emotional final scene to be accompanied by Punz occasionally saying some bullshit in the background

"George and Sapnap are still here" uh no, George literally isnt and last time we saw Sapnap he was making a deal with God to sacrifice his own life and afterlife to ensure that Dream would die and stay dead forever

Oughhhhhhh this is great I can practically smell the insecurity coming off of him rn

Oh god why is Tommy being like "you just wanted things to be simple [like they were in the past]" giving me a more complete understanding of myself as well this sucks I dont wanna be a c!Dream kinnie anymore >:(

I dont think Tommy is wrong about what hes saying abt Dream at all here and I think this is a smart angle to focus on for making Dream seem more sympathetic but right now I definitely feel like its missing the crucial element of "yes, Dream just wants friends, friends who will do what he wants with minimal resistance because hes a control freak" yknow? Like, his need for absolute control all the time is one of his most prominent traits and him wanting to gain some understanding and control of death and other things beyond his comprehension actually lines up quite nicely with that, its just kinda getting muddled with Dreams statements about wanting to make everything better. Granted, he probably wouldnt want to admit that his version of "making everything better" is just making everyone listen to him bc hes god basically but still, I think his control freakiness needs to get addressed more explicitly and maybe it will be, weve still hot a few minutes but ehhhhh. I doubt it

Honestly, ive grown to like Punz quite a bit eventhough he really hasnt done much but like, why the fuck is he here

I realize that the dialogue in dsmp is always overwhelmingly improv but its just so odd and kinda bad in this conversation. I think its because out of context, the way both Dream and Tommy are phrasing things makes it seem like they were on more equal footing and both suffered equally during their conflict when thats just not the case and Im not a fan

I think Ill tentatively take back all the stuff I said about how Dream shouldve been a worshipper of XD but i still think its a neat concept so I'll probably do something with that later

Oh god why did they do that crown, Dreams skin already looks bad and silly enough. Oh well I take solace in knowing that all the fanart of this scene probably slaps

OH I FORGOR ABOUT THE NUKES

Punz is still there is he gonna say anything about the nuke thats about to hit

Lookat these guys, never heard a nuke about to hit before

Ohhhhhhh I thought that previous 'sorry' was the one Ive seen people upset about, but Im pretty sure its actually this one

Honestly, I still dont see why you would be upset about it outside of the fact that it is an abuse victim apologizing to his abuser but its like, idk man. I dont think a piece of media featuring a scene where that happens within a very specific context is doing abuse apologism, although I guess a lot of people would argue that the fact that Tommy is even reaching out to Dream after everything he did is abuse apologism and. Im not even gonna try to argue with them. I'll just say that I disagree and try to explain my perspective in some amount of detail, this will get pretty personal though, so watch out:

I was recently semi-diagnosed with a personality disorder and i probably have a bunch of other bullshit going on as well and not to armchair diagnose a fictional character but c!Dream definitely has that personality disorder and whatever other shit thats hiding inside my weird brain. His irrational, defensive thought processes, his contradictionary wants, his persistent need for control, his detached nature, his manipulation, the way he uses actual emotional pain as a tool for manipulation while keeping that pain at an arms length, even his weird monotone way of speaking, I relate to all of it. I have seen and related to a lot of mentally ill and neurodivergent and neurodivergent-coded characters and I have never felt as seen as now. He embodies my worst qualities turned up a few notches to make them even worse and then he has a weird god complex on top of all of that and yet, he still ends up being given sympathy, someone tries to understand him and offers him help. And idk, that just means a lot to me so I look at this whole thing a bit differently.

Also, while I get why some people are upset and I get peoples desire to critize this from a Doylist perspective because real people came up with this story in real life and that still has implications, even when the line between fiction and reality is thick enough to be considered a wall, from a Watsonian in-universe perspective its like, Dream is not a bad person for accepting help (or trying to accept help) when its being freely offered to him

Okay wait but if the nuke still hit the prison and blew everything to shit what the hell did Jack do when he rewired the redstone at the launch thingy. Is the prison that close to the main smp I dont remember

Oh man this is gonna take a hot second huh

Okay we're back in Minecraft, Tommys punching a tree

I hate the fact that Tommy doesnt atleast punch the entire tree down before making a crafting table

OKAY IT IS DONE

I was gonna finish the whole series today but its almost 11pm and I a sleepy gal so i'll watch Tubbos pov tomorrow and the Syndicate vod and all that and also I'll probably give my thoughts on the ending in more detail after that. Right now I dont think I cant bare to write any more man, I just wrote like three or four decently detailed (for me) analyses about fucking bullshit basically in a row, my head literally hurts

So yeah, goodnight I'll be hopefully posting all of these posts tomorrow and I'll hopefully be peoperly liveblogging everything again

#livebloggin dsmp #c!dream #c!tommy

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bonesandthebees · 2 years

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SD ANON BUT I AM 20 NOW! what the fuck ! what the fuck ! i still feel 18! but i am going to the tide pools for my birthday with two friends who are in town! tragic thing about being in college is that your spring break either doesn’t align w high school friends’ or your college friends go to their homes BUT some of my hs friends came back early so i am excited and also like. existentially terrified a bit about my early 20s.

ANYWAYS a ton of things have happened since last time i responded!! i kept meaning to and then another Thing would happen so. car crash poem went over very well my established poet prof was like. i thought you were an english major. and also said she would waive any prereqs for me if i wanted to take her advanced poetry class which !! requires a manuscript acceptance usually!!

soba stir fry was excellent i put in a little too much chili sesame oil but once i got used to the spicy it was fantastic

well see my roommate is 19 and he is now 24. but whatever! she is an adult. the big news is that my other roommates have broken up in a Big Thing that was like. not just a dating thing also a roommate boundary thing. and it is not my roommate’s fault at all. it’s such a long story but basically the other one literally won’t acknowledge she did smth wrong/apologize to my roommate/apologize to me/have a conversation instead of running away every weekend

so. she is finding a way to get out of her lease. good riddance imo she was Something.

also yes!! dishes + stream or dishes + chuckle sandwich is my go to. now that my college doesn’t do gym reservations anymore gym is also where i catch up on vods and videos! have to hide phone screen when people walk past but i am unlearning that

arc 2 arc 2 arc 2 i love your writing and i’m always excited to see where it goes!

lyft. painful. uber is cheaper sometimes but like, i went to two concerts in feb and for one i had to ask someone to drive bc the lyft was a whole 70$ for 20 minutes

also yes! the dead kelp smell i miss it i can’t wait to be near the ocean again like it’s still cold n stuff outside but!! ocean!! i wish i could get an ocean scented candle but like a Real One

agnes hit me so hard every time and it’s so so so good man i just love glass animals ! i have heard heat waves everywhere at this point and it hasn’t gotten old but sometimes you are standing in a sally’s beauty supply thinking about how you know far too many things about why this song is playing.

i missed these conversations! work somehow just has a habit of sneaking up and drowning you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SD ANON!!! hope you have fun at the tide pools, they're so cool! and yeah spring break never aligns istg, I don't have spring break till next week (and I have finals rn I'm suffering)

YOOO that's so cool your prof will let you into the advanced poetry class! so awesome that she liked your poem!

oh god every time i use chili oil i end up putting too much and then i suffer but god soba stir fry with chili oil sounds so good rn im so hungry

that's a lot of roommate drama goddamn. at least the one roommate is looking to move out so you guys aren't all stuck in a very awkward situation! roommate fights are terrible especially when the other person refuses to try and work it out

lmao i still hide my phone when i'm watching streams at my favorite coffee shop. like no thanks don't need anyone to know i'm using my free time to watch a 17 year old british kid play minecraft

SEVENTY??? JESUS CHRIST tbf I guess gas is like. insane rn. but holy shit that's so much

god same i love heat waves as a song because it's a bop but it always makes me think of That and i'm like why...

and ty i'm excited for arc 2 too!! we're finally a bit into it and i'm just like yesss the entire reason i wrote this fic aaaa

i've missed our conversations too but i totally get the busy thing, I gotta go study for finals now OOPS

#ask #sd anon #long post

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