#imissyoupapa

[pumpkinfreak]

In My Grandparent's Home

My therapist told me I should talk about my childhood with my friends. I don't have many friends, and I'm not about to scare them off. So I'll tell the internet instead. Does that count as being open? Whatever. This is my only option.

I was raised by a single mother. When I was very small, too young to start school, I would stay with my grandparents while my mother was a work. Gigi and Papa were younger than the average grandparents. Gigi worked at the YMCA and PaPa was a Mail Man. Sometimes I struggle to remember them in detail, but I remember the house.

They had a single-story home at the end of a long cold-de-sac. With a room just for me. In my earliest memories, the room is pink. A white toy chest sits in the corner, and one of those homemade rag rugs is on the floor. My bed is pushed up against the wall, and the bedding is purple and printed Disney Princess. I can still see their wrinkled faces smiling at me.

The bathroom always scared me. It was right across the hall from my room. I could see it from bed at night, my grandmother insisted I keep my door open at all times. I don't recall why, but she also kept the bathroom door open. So all I could see in the dead of night was the empty void of the bathroom. Framed in the doorway of my room.

If I squinted my eyes hard, I swore I could see things moving in the darkness. I had convinced myself that if I faced away from the door, something would crawl out of the bathroom into my room. So I would watch, with my face squished into my pillow. Only one eye was open enough to keep the bathroom in sight. I always fell asleep of course. A toddler is only so capable. One of my grandparents had grown concerned about the dark bags forming under my little eyes. So, someone closed the bathroom door and propabably laughed at how silly it all was. This happened only once, closing the bathroom door. The one night it was closed, I dreamt I got out of bed.

I go to the bathroom door, open it, and step in. The light is already on. The dim yellow light fills the room. The maroon tub is running at full blast. The water rushes so violently that it sounds like a waterfall. I can't move, as the water spills out of the tub. The light flickers as the water rises. It fills the room to my neck before it stops. Then the light goes out. I'm alone, immobile, and I'm inside the darkness now. Something tugged me down into the water, and then I woke up, in my bed, the bathroom door was open.

...What I struggle with the most. That when the sun finally came, Papa came into the bathroom and cursed about how much water was on the floor.

I just wish that had been the end of it.

#creative writing #horror #childhood fears #writers on tumblr #horror literature #journal entry #scary stories #nostaligiacore #ImissyouPapa

[tazatta18]

It doesn't hurt those who leave, it hurts those who stay behind تکلیف انہیں نہیں ہوتی جو چلے جاتے ہیں تکلیف انھے ہوتی ہے جو پیچھے رہ جاتے ہین Takleef unhe nhi hoti jo chalay jaty hein, Takleef unhe hoti hai jo pichy reh jaty hein... I miss you PAPA #dad #papa #imissyou #imissyoupapa https://www.instagram.com/p/CG9uHSph3Wu/?igshid=4fi40zb6aq83

#dad #papa #imissyou #imissyoupapa

[irfanalitattooz]

Maa Paa #tattoo @irfanalitattooz (call or whatsapp [phone]) #irfanalitattooz #babyink #babyinked #maapaatattoos #familylovetattoo #lovetattoo #momtattoo #imissyoupapa #missyoudad #maatattoo #indiantattoos #tattoolover https://www.instagram.com/p/B815ACjhQZu/?igshid=hqt7jw9h2doh

#tattoo #irfanalitattooz #babyink #babyinked #maapaatattoos #familylovetattoo #lovetattoo #momtattoo #imissyoupapa #missyoudad #maatattoo #indiantattoos #tattoolover

[wtrmlnsgo]

I think what bothers me a lot isn’t because of your passing. But the fact that I didn’t get to do more of what I should have done when you were still around. We still had a lot of things we needed to do together & catch-up.

I still need you, Papa.

#0285n #30/12/17 #imissyoupapa

[jhaybeecher-blog]

so glad I get to visit you again Papa. Malipay ko karon kay nakaila na ka sa akong uyab na si @dheendo 😊❤ #RIPPapa #IMissYouPapa (at Carcar, Cebu) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs40XjLHVWm_ge53cDBpsj0REpvm9_ZP5WhNaM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fahhj92kz2uo

#rippapa #imissyoupapa

[christineeenggg-blog]

When my father, Eduardo Punzalan died on September 20, 2018,. I wanted to die.

When he died, I didn’t recognize myself anymore. So much of my identity was being my father’s daughter and nothing was the same. What was the meaning of life and was it worth it?

These were questions that I could no longer answer as I navigated the world exposed, vulnerable, hovering somewhere above my body between reality and a dream state. Other times, it felt as though I were in a bubble deep beneath the sea. I could see people at a distance, but they couldn’t see me. I could hear words coming from their mouths, but they made no sense.

My father was and remains my hero, my rock, my best friend and a life without him didn’t seem possible. It still doesn’t. How do you put one foot in front of the other when the ground beneath you is crumbling? How do you speak when unshed tears claw at your throat? My heart didn’t feel broken or shattered when my father died. It felt as if it had been ripped bloody and pulsating from my chest, leaving only a gaping hole to remind me of its existence. I had lost my father, but I had not lost hope. I realized I had to develop strength instead of developing weakness. I had to gather myself and I come out of my depression. Everything around me was changing rapidly. I was no longer daddy’s baby girl, I began to see things in a different light. I had to turn something negative into something positive. What my father wanted for me in life is what I strive for now. His death has motivated me to strive for greatness. His death helped me become the person I am today. I want enjoy the better things in life. I’m proud to be his daughter.

#imissyoupapa

[adygraciasalazar]

#imissyoupapa❤️ (at 7th ave Caloocan City) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_KbGzgFx8O/?igshid=1gj8jolrpx8on

#imissyoupapa❤️

[woodstockreveries]

#tbt I know it's hard to see but that's me and my grandfather. I was probably around 4 years old? My grandfather was the most special person in my life, the only one I felt safe around. I love how he's looking at me. 💜 Studies show that no matter how bad a child's life is, a solid relationship with just one person can be protective and give them resiliency. That was my grandfather. He died on May 31st right before I graduated high school. But he's always with me. My husband took his Hebrew name (Isaac which means laughter) and I gave Benny his birthday, June 10th. But I still miss him all the time. 💜 #grandfather #imissyoupapa

#grandfather #imissyoupapa #tbt

[iamlai00-blog]

Ina Mama Inang Mamang Nanay Ano mang tawag sayo'y nag-iisang bayani ka ng puso ko. Sa pag-aalaga man o pag-didisplina aba'y wala kang katapat. 😂 Maraming salamat sa bawat pangaral na siyang gumagabay sa araw-araw. Hindi ka man perpekto ngunit ikaw parin ang pipiliin ko. I love you and Happy Mother's Day mother dear ❤❤❤ #happymothersday #simplefam #justthethreeofus #imissyoupapa #fighting

#imissyoupapa #simplefam #justthethreeofus #fighting #happymothersday

[hellopusa21-blog]

Are you proud of who I am Pa? 😭😭😢😢 #CurretMood #IMissYouPapa

#imissyoupapa #curretmood

[personallyzy]

It’s my birthday. Something’s wrong with how I feel about today. And it sucks.

3/365: I felt good at exactly 12AM today. I strongly felt how good this day would get until early this evening I felt the need to cry. A lot of things were bothering me. Papa is no longer here. He always knew what I needed and wanted in every celebration. I needed him. I wanted to hug him tight and thank him for today. But I couldn’t... Papa’s already in heaven and that made my heart break even more. And maybe that was clearly the reason why I ended up hating today. I miss my papa. I really do.  

#birthdays #imissyoupapa

[justagirljen]

#EliJGlazier visiting Papa Jim 💙 #latepost #imissyoupapa #love (at Glen Abbey Memorial Park & Mortuary)

#love #imissyoupapa #latepost #elijglazier

[babwgirl]

🎶 so I'll just sit right here, on the edge of this pier and watch the sunset disappear.. And drink a beer 🎶 #RIP #IMissYou #IMissYouPapa #Grandfather

#imissyoupapa #imissyou #rip #grandfather

[wtrmlnsgo]

Oh god, I still remember those nights I would cry myself to sleep because I miss you so much & how it’s sad that we don’t get to live together like other families. That separation sucked a lot but atleast I know you’re still around somewhere, doing your thing.

Now, it’s different. I’m crying because I miss you so much but I know you’re no longer around & there’s nothing I can do about that. I will never get those random calls from you, or even answer your morning greetings anymore.

Sorry Papa, I didn’t do enough for you when you were still around. The amount of time I could have set aside for you, but I didn’t. I won’t forgive myself.

Papa, I miss you terribly.

#0285n #27/12/17 #imissyoupapa

[banjongmjcn]

#imissyoupapa

[markchinoy]

Sunsets are proof that no matter what happens, every day can end beautifully.. 🌤⛅️🌥 #imissyoupapa (at El Pescador Resort Hotel)

#imissyoupapa