#in terms of social media that i am weirdly invested in i do post a lot on my IG stories when traveling

[cinematicnomad]

okay, this might sound a little weird, but you know the disney short with the paper airplanes and one of them has a lipstick stain on it? your aesthetic is the woman in that short movie. she’s a smart dresser, she wears her hair loose but nicely brushed, and she wears really standout bright lipstick. also, I wanted to say that I love your travel photos! do you have a favorite type of photo to take? like landscape, food, people, streets, etc?

i know the exact short you mean and i loooove her aesthetic so this is super flattering anon 🥰

also—thank you so much!! i'm so happy to hear you like my travel photos. i'm not big on buying souvenirs or knick knacks or whatever, so usually my go to memento is photos. honestly, i love taking photos? and i have since i was a kid but i never really got the opportunity to do much with that interest other than a random semester in high school were i was in yearbook class. i was talking with my brother about this during our trip and he said he'd be willing to let me borrow his canon for a week so i could play around with it and decide if i want to invest in my own camera. i'm honestly super excited for the chance!

in terms of favorite thing to photograph, i think i tend to be most into photographing architecture/streets and nature/landscape. part of that is probably just bc i'm such a novice and those are easy things to keep still and frame out without being worried about losing the shot lol.

✨tell me my aesthetic on anon✨

#ask #anonymous #in terms of social media that i am weirdly invested in i do post a lot on my IG stories when traveling #i cross post all the official photos that i post on my grid #but if anyone's interested in following me on IG and seeing my stories when i'm traveling seriously feel free #my IG is katbain #my IG is mostly just travel photos now #though i won't be doing any serious travel this summer after this last trip #other than going to SC to visit my parents #but this fall it sounds like i'll be back in india in sept #and it sounds like i'm going to be doing some travel in asia in october and novembe? #nothing official yet but it sounds like i might get to go back to kathmandu for the first time since high school #and also bangladesh + taiwan + south korea + indonesia #those last 3 are v much still up in the air 'maybes' atm #(fyi my IG is a private account but unless you seem obviously spam i'll accept)

[potteruscule]

An almost extrovert with social anxiety

I am always careful about using this term, because how unimportant my problem seem in comparison to others. I have many friend, a warm family and ambitious goals that I reach, I don’t work to hard nor do I fail a lot in life. I’m actually pretty

But I’ve had to accept that if I was suffering from being isolated and that I couldn’t stop myself from being recluse, it could still mean that I have an anxiety of any sort.

The reason I’m writing this post is mainly because it’s late at night and I need an outlet, and because I feel like reflecting on the last two years -as I’ve just finished my graduation party- but also because for the last few weeks I’ve decided to be more positive. To accept that I’m getting better rather than put myself down for all the progress I’m not making.

I used to be this outgoing and dynamic girl, yes always awkward and not really into dancing and who love being alone but always out, with friends, dynamic and invested in her friendships. I went abroad for a year before I coming back for my two years of high school (a therefore « repeating a class »)

I’ve never been more myself than during my exchange year.

And I think that’s why coming home was difficult. At first I was too caught up in the moment, I made new friends in my new school, reunited with old ones, enjoyed my holidays and the beginning of the school year. But slowly, for a reason i still don’t understand, probably more circumstancial than psychological, i slowly realised I wasn’t going out. Which sucked. But I wasn’t friend with party people in my new school, and i was a bit isolated from people in my former school. It wasn’t a problem. But it became one when I started refusing invitations to parties.

Last year was still fine because I did go out a few times, and I still had those all friend to rely on. As time went on, they graduated and I did not, we’re still friend but in the distant way that cones with adulthood.

This school year was fine really, overall. But never have I suffered so much from anxiety and awkwardness and felt so unable to go out and be happy. I’ve done a lot, I’m still very dynamic I do a lot of things in life. But I don’t have this group of friend you party with and have fun with. I could have it. Easily. But I do not. I want to, badly. But I do not. And I know, I’m sorry, it really doesn’t sound so bad. But the anxiety is here : wanting something and being so unable to use any social skills to do this. More being physically sick sometimes because you don’t understand why you can just DO it. Anything really, phone this friend or text another, post a picture on Instagram, text back this guy who’s flirting. Everything is overthinking and then finding an out. I’ve never used that much excuses in my life. And then it’s being alone at night and whatever you did, you hate yourself because it’s not good enough. It’s loving to be alone so much, that you end up hating it. ILOVE being alone, it’s my dream to go solo traveling for instance. But it has become such a poison in the way I use it as a refuge.

This kind of anxiety is like starting hating yourself, not because you find yourself ugly or weird, just because you can’t DO it. Whatever it is. It’s like being a camera and swing yourself from the outside permanently. It’s being awkward and as my mum always says « if you feel awkward, people will find you awkward. If you feel beautiful, people will find you beautiful ». But I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t really hate myself, I just felt that people were never getting close because I was uninteresting. But they weren’t getting close because the anxiety was keeping them at bay (and an analysis of my decision process would perfectly show how I did push people away, just so that we are close without being really close)

I feel like I did not have fun in my two years of high school. And whatever grown up say about it being not that important. It is. Not because high school years will be the best of your life, but because I felt responsible for my own situation. I was eaten up by guilt for not doing anything. It was supposed to be two amazing years, and they wear great. But not as they should be (and yes, medias and networks do play a role in the vision you have of how you should live your life, but it’s another debate)

A problem I have often encountered since I’ve decided heal myself (have I talked about burrying problems ? - my pathological procrastination is also a real psychological problem I keep for some other night- ) : the constant self depreciation after the efforts I’ve made. But as I said in my intro, I’ve decided that I was getting better. I was bringing some positivity into it.

Tonight, I went to my “graduation bal”, which is something that we don’t really do in my country and especially in my high school (so being really objective it was awkward). But I went anyway, though I hesitated. And instead of seing the fact that I stayed only 3 hours, that I went 5 times to the toilets, that I asked my mum to pick me up, that I did not go to an « after », I want to see better things out of this night : I went, i danced for more than half of the time, i kinda flirted with my crush - story for another time- , I took pictures with my friends, I chatted with acquaintances... (weirdly, it’s easier for me to chat with totally unknown people thanks with acquaintances, probably because with new people you get a blank page to rewrite yourself)

It is a difficult road to getting out and grasping the fun that is just reachable. It sounds stupid and annoying but it’s true. I’m anxious. I’ve had a stressful year, still filled enough with friends, family and various achievement that it is not a lost year. I may not be the person I was three years ago but I’m still an interesting person, with qualities and defaults, with capacity to progress and change, to get out of the hole I dig for myself.

#anxiety #positvity #social anxiety #socially anxious #storytime #stress #night rant #psychology #self analysis #tbh i almost didnt post this

[thecosydragon]

My latest blog post from the cosy dragon: Interview with E. A. Barker

An Interview with E. A. Barker, author of Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

  E. A. Barker believes he is an average guy in mid-life who has led a mostly average life. His readers may not agree with his assessment. The single biggest difference between him and most other people is his pursuit of knowledge. Throughout his life he never stopped asking the simplest question: Why? E. A. describes himself as a collector of ideas and a purveyor of dot connections. He attempts to present his findings in an entertaining fashion in an effort to encourage people to read—especially men who are reading far too little these days. E. A is an advocate of education for its ability to affect social reform and actively promotes the idea that a global conscience is possible.

COZY DRAGON INTERVIEW

 Everyone has a ‘first novel’, even if many of them are a rough draft relegated to the bottom and back of your desk drawer (or your external hard-drive!). Have you been able to reshape yours, or have you abandoned it for good?

(E. A. laughs.) It’s crap! I write narrative non-fiction partially because my ability to write quality dialog is so lacking in my opinion. I am reasonably certain I am at least decent at what I do. Ms. Creant ‘s mission was to challenge the beliefs of the reader so that we might change and grow as humans. This is a niche which I believe best suits my abilities.

Some authors are able to pump out a novel a year and still be filled with inspiration. Is this the case for you, or do you like to let an idea percolate for a couple of years in order to produce a quality book? 

I admire prolific writers who can produce quality works time and time again. For me, it does not come so easily. I suppose my percolation happens during the extensive research phase, which in the case of this book, represented a one year period.

I have heard of writers that could only write in one place – then that cafe closed down and they could no longer write! Where do you find yourself writing most often, and on what medium (pen/paper or digital)?

Wow. Your first sentence supports my working theory that we writers are merely scribes channeling the thoughts of some other entity. This is probably not the place to get all weirdly metaphysical so I will move on to the question at hand. I can write wherever I can make my body comfortable and where there is little distraction or noise. Paper notes always litter my workspace, if not the entire room, until such time as they are compiled by section into my trusty old HP laptop.

Before going on to hire an editor, most authors use beta-readers. How do you recruit your beta-readers, and choose an editor? Are you lucky enough to have loving family members who can read and comment on your novel?

I have never been clear on how the literary world uses some terminology. My scientific background tells me to speak of alpha readers first. To me, the process is as follows: 1) I produce a very rough draft which is then read by alpha readers whose sole job it is to blow sunshine up my butt so that I can find the courage to continue. In my case, it was my hairdresser. 2) I then read, revised, re-read, revised . . .  until I realized I was stuck in an endless loop and had to seek professional help. 3) Enter my editor—who I picture in my head as Ilsa of the SS—she is what I believe to be my beta-reader. Laura had no trouble telling me how I had gone off course (content editing); nor did she lose any sleep over pointing out my embarrassing grammatical errors; and I believe she rejoiced in highlighting the literally thousands of typos and punctuation errors. This is what makes her good. Her ability to completely devastate any ego the writer in you had developed, will either force you to be better, or quit. Badly shaken, I chose the former. I made massive revisions which fleshed out ideas, supplied answers, and ultimately resulted in three additional chapters. The most observant of readers might see where I ended the book on three separate occasions. She was recruited by writing a cheque. 4) The gamma reader was my proof-reader who line edited (a.k.a. copy edited) the manuscript prior to publication. She only found another five hundred or so mistakes in punctuation as well as missing words I just could not see when I read those sentences. She was recruited through a negotiated exchange of services and the promise of a signed hardcover.

I walk past bookshops and am drawn in by the smell of the books – ebooks simply don’t have the same attraction for me. Does this happen to you, and do you have a favourite bookshop? Or perhaps you are an e-reader fan… where do you source most of your material from?

I LOVE PAPER BOOKS! It is easy to understand people who like digital books though; they can buy books for far less money and could carry their entire library with them at all times. There is a danger that we should be discussing in the digital revolution we are in the midst of. I USE LIBRARIES to source most information. Libraries have always been the keepers and conservators of knowledge. Budget cutbacks combined with limited shelf space are leading many libraries into e-book information technology systems where the librarian will no longer be the curator. Whosoever controls “the cloud” will then control all knowledge. We must continue to encourage a balance between paper and digital books or we risk quickening our fall into a dystopian nightmare.

Oh my! Asking an author if they have a favorite bookstore is leading them to potential career suicide. ANY bookstore that carries or recommends Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! is a favorite of mine. I do however frequent a local used bookshop in the Beaches area of Toronto near my home.

I used to find myself buying books in only one genre (fantasy) before I started writing this blog. What is your favourite genre, and do you have a favourite author who sticks in your mind from:

childhood? Jules Verne

adolescence? Frank Herbert

young adult? Robert Heinlein

adult? Hemingway? I am now trying to read the greats across previously unexplored genres including poetry—something I would never have done when I was younger.

Social media is a big thing, much to my disgust! I never have enough time myself to do what I feel is a good job. What do you do? 

Social media is a massive time suck that keeps us from writing. I would like a PA to take it over but I have yet to have a quality unpaid one offer to do so.

This is my approach:

Facebook is number one in terms of users. If you are willing to track people down and stay engaged with them, it can be powerful. Therein lies the time suck factor—engagement. Facebook goes out of their way to minimize your reach. Only 3 to 7% of your friends and followers will see some of your posts regularly.

Twitter is second in terms of users; limited in terms of post length, but UNLIMITED in terms of reach—all your followers and all selected hash-tags receive your posts, you can tweet @ anyone on twitter and they do not put you in jail for over engagement.

I tweet daily and send the tweet to both my facebook profile and my author page. In theory you could do this in 30 minutes per day but you would not have the all important needed engagement with other people.

Not long ago, I found statistics which clearly showed you really only need to be engaging on Fridays and Saturdays. This opens the door to time suck savings by posting (a.k.a. updating status) each day, but engaging just on those two days.

Understanding the value of any marketing effort is often difficult to measure in immediate sales—social media is epitome of this. After two years of working social media an average of three hours per day, seven days a week, 360ish days per year, I will tell you its value cannot be measured monetarily. When I attempt to do this, the numbers make me feel foolish.

$0.03 is what I have been paid per hour.

30 minutes is invested in each follower.

Followers rarely buy your book but about 1% will.

You will get 0.1% response from a twitter campaign.

My RATIONALIZATION for continuing at all is I committed to this for two years–one year leading up to this release (the building phase), and one year of promoting the book after release. I assure you there will be a massive scaling down of social media work once the book has its first birthday.

So what are the positives?

You gain a handful of digital pen pals from around the world—priceless.

A good percentage of initial sales and reviews will come from people you meet on facebook.

It is the digital equivalent of flyer distribution and it is free, if you do not count your time.

About 50% of blogger interest came through social media channels.

The best alternative to social media marketing is REAL WORLD marketing but you must be an extroverted salesperson to do this, and many writers are not. Some will have costs which can quickly add up.

E-mail campaigns have netted the greatest amount of interest thus far with about a 10% response rate. This is literally 100 times better than social media and introverts can do it.

Direct mail promotion to independent bookshops and libraries seems to generate interest.

Attend book fairs and sell signed copies.

Public speaking is always an opportunity to sell books.

Pitch indie bookstores and other merchants on buying or displaying consignment copies of your book.

Send out review copies to literary critics. Most will not give you the time of day, but just one published positive review from these people can make a career.

Links to: Twitter Facebook

Answering interview questions can often take a long time! Tell me, are you ever tempted to recycle your answers from one to the next? 

Your questions were thought provoking and multifaceted so I could not cheat. We are faced with some stock questions which cause us to reiterate answers. I have yet to copy and paste an answer, but who knows what the future may bring.

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

This book was created for everyone from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended time-line for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new found understanding and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything which influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow and change—at any stage of life.

Get this novel from a range of places:

Amazon US ➜ http://ift.tt/2uxvGVg

Amazon CA ➜ http://ift.tt/2uxCguN

Amazon AU ➜ http://ift.tt/2ux8nL8

Amazon UK ➜ http://ift.tt/2uxvHZk

Smashwords ➜ http://ift.tt/2uxfZNM

B&N ➜ http://ift.tt/2uxlvjy

Kobo ➜ http://ift.tt/2uwW69z

itunes ➜ http://ift.tt/2ux1ERt

from http://ift.tt/2v6xH7U

#book bookreviews authorinterviews lovereading bookworm